she so wants to trust him!

Maggie Sawyer made a mistake. She was embarrassed and ashamed. She didn’t want Alex to find out because she loves her and wants to be better for her. She was not doing this for her own personal gain, she wants to be the best she can to Alex because that’s what she deserves. She felt guilty and wanted to atone for her choices so that she could move on and give her whole heart and trust to the woman she loves. Maggie Sawyer does not expect forgiveness, she does not expect Alex to react the way she did because it was her mistake and in her mind it was unforgivable.

Mon el lied to Kara fully expecting that she would forgive him. “This is usually the part where the girl forgives the guy for whatever stupid thing he did.” Mon el didn’t care to think how the lie would affect Kara, he actively covered this up because he knew that Kara did not agree with the Daxamite royal family and he didn’t want to ruin his chances at getting the girl. He didn’t lie to spare her feelings, he lied to keep himself in the running. Unlike Maggie, he had no fear of ruining the relationship because he figured that’s what Kara does, forgives and forgets. He figures if he convinces her that he’s trying to change (even if he doesn’t make any actual effort to be a hero and to make change in Daxam, the place that he owes it to) that she’ll pity him and take him back.

The relationship here has been set up that Kara is now reliant on Mon. She has been conditioned to feel guilt whenever Mon el runs astray. Whenever he makes a mistake she feels responsible because she is trying to reconcile what she couldn’t do with Kal. She stays with him because she feels responsible for fixing him. The problem is, he puts no effort into fixing himself.

With Maggie and Alex, both are trying to be better for the other, both are actively supporting and defending each other when the other is struggling. Both are respectful of each other and actively involve themselves in each other’s lives, the good and the bad parts. They are both putting so much effort into their relationship and into bettering themselves individually.

What Maggie did to Emily was wrong, what Mon El did while ruling Daxam was wrong. The difference is that Maggie feels this guilt and actively tries to rectify this, not expecting anything for herself but wanting to give Alex the love story that she deserves. Mon el does not show any guilt and expects forgiveness regardless of his lack of effort to rectify his mistakes both on Earth and on Daxam.

What Maggie did and what Mon El constantly does are not the same thing.

When I was a kid, it always used to infuriate me during “Something There” when Chip keeps asking the adults what they’re talking about, and no one will tell him. I couldn’t understand why Mrs. Potts couldn’t just explain that Belle and the Beast are falling in love. After all, I was a kid too and I could understand that, so why was it inappropriate for Chip to be in the loop?

Later on I realized that the adults probably just didn’t want him blabbing to Belle, and they couldn’t trust him to keep his mouth shut about the enchantment or their plans to break it. But now I’ve thought of something else…

Mrs. Potts says, “I’ll tell you when you’re older.” As inanimate objects, none of the servants aged, including little Chip. So what she’s essentially saying is, she’s hoping that Chip will someday have the chance to grow older, and that’s when she’ll explain everything. Basically, she’s protecting him from getting his hopes up, in case the spell does become permanent. 

(that’s okay, i wanted to have a good cry today anyway)

What if Emma does become really worried when Killian doesn’t come home and he doesn’t call and maybe she has tried calling him but he’s not answering so she gets Liam’s ring and uses a locator spell but it leads her to where the Nautilus was docked and she knows that’s where Killian’s remaining family would be so she knows it’s not that unbelievable that he would go there and maybe Snow mentions Killian had a bag with him when she saw him and that he was kind of acting weird so even though emma doesn’t want to believe he actually left her all the signs are pointing to it and that’s why she is so upset and all “I need to move on” because she is hurting and thinking that the one person who she truly believed would never abandon her has done just that. And she wants to believe in him and trust him but she’s been wrong before and it really does seem like he left so the lost girl part of her takes over for a while. I believe she will eventually realize that something is indeed wrong, but before that she’s going to be hurting quite a bit and I’m not ready for that

I’ve just kinda got a lot on my mind right now and I need to let it all out somewhere and the community seems to be really good about this type of stuff so here I go I guess…

First off, (this is really personal but I’m gonna share it anyway) my mom recently found a lump…and it’s a possibility that she has breast cancer. Now I’m trying to stay upbeat and positive, and I believe in God, so I’m trying to trust Him and put my worry on Him, but there have been times when I’ve been alone at night that I just get to thinking about it and the thought that she might actually have breast cancer scares me. The thought of her having to go through treatment makes me cry every time. I’m trying to be optimistic about the whole thing, and I keep praying to God that it’s nothing, but there’s still that part of me that pulls me away from those positive thoughts. And I want them to go away. I want my mom to be okay. Most of the time I’m okay, and I’m holding onto the hope that she’s okay. The part that bothers me most is seeing her like this. She won’t know anything for at least a week, and she’s so tired of waiting. And I hate seeing her worry like this.

And second off, I got a “job” offer for the summer that I feel is a once in a life time experience that could really help me grow in my faith and help me grow as a person and help me gain certain skills and such, but I can tell that my parents aren’t all for it, especially my dad. It’s not a high paying job at all, and I’d have to live away from home for 10 weeks (which isn’t as big of deal, since I already live at college right now). Idk, it’s a big decision, but I feel like this is an experience that I’ll never get anywhere else. It kinda comes down to pleasing my parents, or taking this offer which I feel like is something I need to do.

Anyway, if you read all this, thank you; that really means a lot. I know it’s rambly, but I needed to get it off my chest. I’m not usually one to talk about my problems, but I did this time for some reason, idk. If there are any believers out there, I guess I’m just asking for prayers. If not, that’s okay. Thanks again for listening.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.