Therapy 21.03.17 // the visit // part two
We went into my therapist’s office which is behind her house. I’ve seen photos of it, but my first thought was the room was smaller than I expected it to be. I put my bag on the couch, took my shoes off and exclaimed at the floor feeling all warm though my socks. T started moving the folding chairs around and setting them out next to the table, and then she got me to help her lift a wooden board up to cover the table top. I got the Fimo out and we sat down and started unwrapping it. I commented that the turquoise and purple were my favourite colours, and she said hers too.
“Have you thought what you’re going to make?” T asked.
“No, not really….” I said “well I thought I might make a butterfly, but then when I bought the Fimo there was a multipack with pictures of birdhouses on, and then I thought maybe I’ll make a house. I was trying to think of a way to combine the two, but I think it would end up being a giant butterfly on a house so it might not work”
T laughed at that, then I asked her what she was going to make.
“I’ve had various ideas, but I think I’m going to make a coil pot”
So we set about making our models and chatting a bit while we did so. T started rolling long sausages for her coil pot and I squished a block of turquoise around in my fingers trying to decide what shape to make it. It was nice to work next to each other sometimes talking and sometimes in silence.
Every so often, T wondered out loud “hmm, should I add another colour here? What does it need now? How can I finish it off?” I don’t know if this is how she naturally is or if it’s a therapeutic skill she learnt. I can see that talking out your thought process like that can show that it’s ok to not have all the answers to start with and to be curious about what you might do next and what the options are.
I didn’t talk my thought process out like that because I wasn’t really aware of it at the time, but afterwards I thought yes, I did think very similar things - what should I do next? would this look good? how can I add this effect? - but I keep those thoughts to myself. I feel uncomfortable letting myself be seen in that uncertainty, like its a weakness that must be kept guarded. It was interesting to see T working in a different way to me and being ok with me hearing her thinking out loud.
When we’d both finished, we packed her model up for me to take home and she put mine in a safe place ready to bake. “I wonder where I’ll put it….I’ll have to find a space on a shelf somewhere” she commented.
“Yes, where’s it going to go?” I asked her, looking up at the shelves round the top of the room.
She saw where I was looking and said “oh, no, I’m going to put it on a low shelf, maybe that windowsill next to you there” I love the idea of my house being on her windowsill. I hope she does put it there.