she probably accepts some things about it more than spock himself

anonymous asked:

omg since you reblogged the gif-set i just realised how much i need another part of the Almost Human McKirk AU so if you want to, please do it, it's just simply perfect and i love it

ALMOST HUMAN AU

Part 1 | Part 2 Part 3 |

  • Living with J.I.M. (or just Jim) isn’t even so bad. Initially, Bones insisted Jim charged himself in his own private room, but after a while of them getting increasingly more intimate at home, Bones one day just moves Jim’s charging station to the bedroom. When Jim finds out, he scans Bones’ face curiously, but he’s all too happy to reward his detective boyfriend for that afterwards.
  • They’re on a case, back with another murder occurring around androids in the sex industry. They find out it’s because some underground clan started combining human DNA with these sex ‘bots, and it makes them go a bit loopy. Murdering and manipulated loopy. After they catch the culprit, the android in question, unaware as she is, has to be shut down. Bones catches Jim’s glance at that, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder. “You okay?” he asks. Jim doesn’t immediately respond. He looks at Bones, slowly nodding. “I would like to be there, when she’s shut down. “Are you sure?” “Yes,” Jim replies.
  • Bones watches Jim quietly talk to the girl - who has absolutely no idea what’s happening to her or why she’s being shut down. “I promise I’ll remember you,” Jim says softly to her, and then he watches the engineer shut her down. Jim seems quite upset over the whole ordeal, and he doesn’t want to go out for a drink. So instead, they sit at home. Jim quietly sits next to Bones on the couch. “Do you want to talk about it?” Bones asks. “I just… what if something happens to me, and you’re gonna have to shut me down?” “That’s not gonna happen,” Bones says. “But what if-” “It’s not gonna happen,” Bones replies firmly. Jim turns to look at him with both fondness and interest in his eyes. “You care about me,” he says, and Bones huffs, resting his hand on Jim’s leg and squeezing it softly. “We all make mistakes.”
  • Having lost a leg in an accident, Bones’ synthetic leg doesn’t often calibrate right. When it doesn’t, it causes an annoying dull ache that just kind of stays, and his leg doesn’t always functions so well. For some reason, Bones is also an annoying shit enough so that he never actually fixes it. And so at night, Jim has to listen to Bones grunting under his breath, squeezing the skin of his leg just above his synthetic. It takes a long time before he feels comfortable enough to walk around in just shorts, showing off his synthetic leg. It takes even longer for Bones to be comfortable enough to take it off and let it re-calibrate. It drives Jim nuts, because he’s an android himself, why would he even care about a synthetic leg? “C’m here,” Jim says, after listening to Bones try and stifle his own discomfort. Not just that, the synthetic occasionally beeps and says a: “Calibration Incomplete”. “No,” Bones says, “I’m fine.” “Come. Here,” Jim repeats through gritted teeth, grabbing Bones by his shirt and pulling him in closer, both his hands on both sides of Bones’ leg. “You don’t have to-” “Ssh,” Jim hushes him quiet, “you’re driving me insane.” His fingers dip into Bones’ skin, massaging the sore skin. “You gotta look after yourself, Bones,” Jim says, continuing softly, “your leg needs care, and needs to be charged frequently in order for it to calibrate properly. He explains it for a little while, but when he looks up, Bones has fallen asleep.
  • Things take a turn for the worse quite suddenly. Bones is in the supermarket to buy food, and mostly to stock up on liquor. Jim is tagging along despite not eating things, because he likes to interact with people, and correct Bones’ unhealthy eating (and drinking) habits. “I’m thinking fries and ribs,” Bones says, and Jim frowns. He doesn’t reply, and Bones mostly ignores it. “D'you want to swing by Spock later? We can see if he has updated charging stations,” Bones suggests, grabbing a small box of coleslaw for good measure. As soon as he turns back to Jim, though, the other looks different. Blue eyes a little darker, and his expression mostly just blank. “Jim?” Bones asks, stunned when the other reaches out for Bones’ throat and throws him backwards against the shelves. “Jim–?!” he asks, but then Jim punches him again. And again. And again. Until finally, Bones reaches out with his good leg, kicking Jim backwards.
  • “Spock, I need a little help here!” Bones shouts into his phone. “What’s the problem?” Spock asks. “I don’t know- Jim’s malfunctioning,” Bones says, shielding away from Jim trying to attack him or other grocery shoppers. “His system’s been rewritten,” Spock says after a few seconds of silence and Bones hears nothing but the typing on his computer. “Okay, so what do we do?” “Turn him off.” “Okay.” “Permanently.” “What? Spock, no,” Bones says. “Leonard, someone’s accessed his data and is rewriting it as we speak.” “Then stop them,” Bones hisses, “you’re not going to shut down Jim permanently.” “I have to follow protocol,” Spock replies, then he’s silent for a few seconds, “but if you can knock him out, I’ll see what I can do for you to postpone shutting him down.”
  • Bones does manages. Barely so, and with significant damage done to the grocery store. Jim has a temporary off-switch, like all models, though it’s hard to find and even harder to switch. Bones has to keep Jim trapped to the ground so he can find it. And when he does, and Jim powers down, Bones feels horrible. Not just because of the probable concussion from being hit in the head multiple times, or the possible broken nose, but because he watches the light go out in the eyes of his best friend. It sucks. “C’m here, buddy,” he says, pulling the lifeless body up in his arms, “I’m gonna fix this.”
  • He watches Spock try for a few days. But every time he turns Jim on, the other seems to be more violent and less responsive to commands. Bones, however, refuses to let him power him down permanently. “Tell me what I can do,” Bones says, “is there another body we can transfer him to? There’s multiple J.I.M.s stored away.” “It’s not the body, it’s the CPU,” Spock says, “if we transfer that, the problem will just happen again but in another body. If we don’t transfer it, you’ll be with a different J.I.M., who has no memories of you, whose synthetic soul might react to things differently. It’s a whole different person, just in the same body.” “Then tell me what I can do,” Bones insists. “I… I guess, if we could track down his maker,” Spock says, running a hand through his hair, “but the one who created these Synthetic Souls, he’s been underground for a long time.” “I’ll find him,” Bones says, grabbing his jacket so that he can get to work immediately. “Leonard,” Spock says, “you and I both know these androids are second class citizens, and they’ll always be treated as such. Loving one, even someone as real as Jim, it’s never going to be accepted. These things are against the law.” Bones narrows his eyes a little, but doesn’t say anything. “All I’m trying to say,” Spock says, “is be careful. Not with falling for an android, but with having other people - the wrong people - find out about that.”
  • Tracking down his maker takes long. Too long, Bones thinks, and every day he’s worried Jim’s not going to wake up the same again. But Bones finds him. Christopher Pike; a retired robotics engineer and inventor, who has distanced himself to be almost completely off grid. The only reason Bones finds him is because he runs into Uhura; another android, but one who feels oddly similar to Jim in behavior. It doesn’t take him long to figure out that a synthetic soul is behind that, and so he tracks her down until she leads him straight to the older man. “Pike,” Bones says once he finds the other in his own backyard, “I need your help.” “Haven’t heard that name in a while,” Pike replies. “One of the androids at the precinct has been hacked. We suspect his synthetic soul-” Pike huffs at that. “Those bland MX androids don’t have synthetic souls, boy. They’re sheep. Just following orders.” “I’m talking about J.I.M.,” Bones replies, slowly sinking down in a garden chair next to Pike. “Jim,” Pike repeats slowly, “they were all turned off.” “We turned one back on,” Bones says, “he’s a police officer now. No longer a tool for the sex- and espionage industry. He saved a lot of lives.” “I always told them Jim was designed for more than just pleasure,” Pike says. “Can you help him?” Bones presses gently. “J.I.M.s were turned off for a reason, son,” Pike replies, “their synthetic souls… flawed. Couldn’t handle consciousness, love, and devotion. Turned most of them mad, and vulnerable to those wanting to take advantage. It’s probably best if he stays turned off.” “Please,” Bones says, “I tracked you down because you’re the only chance he’s got. He’s my best friend.”
  • Pike works tirelessly on rebooting Jim. Bones stays by his side all that time, assisting where necessary. So does Spock, and Uhura helps, too. The two of them seem to take an odd liking for each other. Finally, the next time Jim opens his eyes, they look normal. He stares up at the ceiling, mildly confused and taking his time to register his location. “What are we doing in Spock’s lab?” he asks, slowly sitting up straight, “I thought we were going for fries and ribs?” He’s silenced by Bones, who pulls him into a breathtaking hug - one that would’ve been painful if Jim was actually alive and breathing. “Hey, what happened?” Jim asks, gently patting Bones’ shoulder. “Does he not remember anything?” Bones asks when he pulls away. Pike shakes his head. “Had to erase it all. You know, to leave no corrupt data behind.” “Who’s this?” Jim asks. “Jim, this is Pike,” Bones says, “your maker.”
  • Jim watches Bones and Spock, both talking to Uhura while enjoying a steaming cup of coffee. They’ve given Jim some distance to talk to Pike, though Jim can’t help but sense Bones’ glances towards him a lot. “Thank you,” Jim says, after having been made aware of the situation, “I appreciate you helping me.” “Don’t worry about it,” Pike says, “how are you feeling, kid?” “Fine,” Jim says, “but I’ve been wondering-” “If it’s all real?” Pike asks, “that annoying sense of right and wrong, doubt and hesitation, maybe love for others?” “Yes,” Jim says, a bit stunned. “That’s why we call it a soul, Jim,” Pike replies, “everything you’re feeling, no matter how frustrating or confusing it may seem. It’s you. I created it, but it’s not me who decides which path you take, who you choose to be with, or what your opinion is about things. Everything you feel, it’s all you.”
  • Coming home feels odd. Like Jim hasn’t been away at all, though the place looks like he has been. Bones’ apartment is a mess of takeout food, research papers, clothes, and empty beer bottles. “You really let yourself go while I was out, huh?” Jim asks, taking off his jacket. Bones shrugs. “I was busy,” he replies. “With what?” “Saving you,” Bones says. “Thought you’d be glad to be rid of me,” Jim says, tossing a few empty beer bottles away, but really, cleaning can wait. So when Bones sits down on the couch, Jim brings him a cold beer, and he sits down next to him. “Maybe the first few days,” Bones admits with a small grin, though Jim knows he’s joking. “Thank you,” Jim says, after a small pause. “For what?” “Not letting them shut me down,” Jim replies. Bones’ arm moves around Jim’s shoulder, and Jim’s more than willing to lean in close. His hands move to Bones’ leg, which probably needs a lot of attention after being neglected while the man was busy trying to save him. “We all make mistakes,” Bones says, and Jim laughs. I love you, is on Jim’s mind, and he considers saying it. But when he looks up at the human, and he leans in to kiss him, Jim’s pretty sure Bones already knows.
Change Of Plans

Summary based off of a request from @silverrawrs: The attempt at trying to right several wrongs that I’ve been dragged in to unfortunately is planned. The encounter with Seth Rollins that leads to us tracking down an Elvis impersonator who’s stolen an engagement ring is not. The success of the attempt at fixing this mess is planned. The second encounter with Seth Rollins several months later is most certainly not.

Warnings: Cheating. Drinking. Fluff. Exasperated reader with Seth Rollins for being a little heel (BEHAVE YOURSELF SETH!) You have been warned. Some swearing. And… Elvis. Long fic.

Word count: Just shy of 9,000.

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see under the cut for an absolutely ADORABLE daddy!spirk fic sent to me by my wonderful anonymous friend, that inspired this comic

Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise has nightmares about bath time. He is a decorated Starfleet officer. He has seen battle, led fights, ordered people to their deaths. He can sit calmly in his command chair and face the entire Klingon armada calmly and comfortably. But the ritual of cleaning his own children haunts him. 

At least Jim can be certain that it’s not his fault. No, this aversion to water is all Vulcan; Thalia is no better than Sorek, and Spock is, secretly, just as bad as them both. At least he is capable of getting clean without destroying the entire bathroom.

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anonymous asked:

A McKirk AU based on your generic father figure Craigslist add you just posted Bones is the dad

  • It was the joke that wasn’t really a joke – but something Jim didn’t expect anyone to take serious at all. Craigslist allows odd ads all the time, why would “generic father figure” be taken serious by anyone? And yet, Jim’s phone exploded the moment he posted that stupid ad. So much so, that after some deliberation with roommates Chekov, Uhura, and Sulu, they decide to just host an open day to meet all “generic father figures” for their BBQ party. And boy, do these figures not disappoint.
  • There’s literally 20 dads just looking to get away from their “generic fatherly duties” for the evening, and instead be a pretend-dad to a bunch of early college graduates who haven’t quite figured out how to adult yet. Most of them are only in it for the food and some time with youngsters. Couple of them openly hit on Uhura – they’re dismissed quickly. “We’re looking for a father figure,” Sulu says as he guides those men out the door, “not a daddy.”
  • Jim doesn’t particularly care who they pick, because he just wants to eat and get drunk. And so he’s not really part of the auditions, mostly just on his phone, and all. But then there’s one that catches his interest instantly. A bit too young to have 18 years of experience. “Jo’s only 8,” the guy admits, “I want to take her with me to this party of yours.” “Oh,” Chekov says immediately, “I don’t think that’s what we’re looking f-“ “We’ll take it,” Jim says instantly, reaching out to shake the guy’s hand, “see you Friday.”
  • “The fuck, Jim?” Sulu says after Leonard left, and Jim shrugs. “Can’t have a generic father figure without a generic annoying little sibling, too.” “Chekov is our annoying little sibling,” Uhura says, “we’re going to get drunk. I’m going to get Spock drunk. Sulu will probably be making out with Ben all night. This isn’t really a good environment for an 8 year old.” “He fancied Leonard,” Chekov says, and Jim huffs. “I did not-“ “Oh my God,” Uhura says, “that’s it. You fancy that grumpy doctor father.”
  • And he does. He really does. It’s a big party, but Jim lingers around the BBQ much longer than he needs to. There’s handfuls of beautiful men and women around. All laughing, eating, drinking, and some are goofing around in that inflatable pool Jim bought on a whim. And Jim knows, putting his mind to it, he could probably get a couple phone numbers. And still, he talks to Leonard. Chats with Joanna. Eats way more than he can, but it gives him an excuse to stick around the grill a little longer.
  • Grumpy doctor isn’t nearly as grumpy as he was during this “audition”, frequently smiling with a beer and talking about things he’s passionate about. So maybe that’s not the sports and stuff Jim wrote down as a requirement, but it’s still something, and Jim finds himself listening to him speak. About being a doctor, about Joanna, about his love for movies, and Jim’s like: “well, we should go see one together sometime” before he even realizes it. Leonard looks at him a little surprised, but then ultimately nods and says: “sure.”
  • “You totally fancy him,” Uhura says a day or two later, after they’ve cleaned up the whole place. Theyre just enjoying a cold beer on the porch, and now Uhura’s putting him on the spot. “I don’t fancy him,” Jim says, “I’m simply interested in him. One human being to another.” “Jim!” Joanna calls out, waving at them as she passes their house, and Jim instantly smiles at Leonard. “Hey, both of you. Where are you going?” “The park,” Joanna says, “are you coming, too?” “Sure!” Jim says, getting up instantly, and he shoots Uhura a glare before she can say anything.
  • They spend the afternoon in the park, and when Leonard asks Jim to join him and Jo for a few rounds of putt-putt, Jim readily agrees. “Let me take you two out for dinner,” Jim suggests afterwards, and Leonard shakes his head. “You don’t have to do that. I can pay for us.” “No, no,” Jim says, “I can pay. Nothing fancy, but I can pay. Pizza or burgers?”
  • The things he does with them is so mundane, compared to his usual lifestyle, but he finds he’s actually enjoying their company much more than the mindlessly getting drunk and partying. Joanna stays with Jim when Bones is called in for surgery, and that’s pretty much when Uhura and the others fall for Joanna’s personality, and is accepted as one of their roommates. When Bones returns later that night with french fries and chicken wings, Bones is, too.
  • As great as it is, it’s also really frustrating, because he’s increasingly more attracted to this man, whom he spends almost all of his free time with. They go out for movies, they cook together at Leonard’s place, or prepare something for everyone in Jim’s household. And the more Jim spends time with him, the more he also misses being intimate with people. Not just any people, like before, though. Leonard. “Are you okay?” Leonard asks, and Jim shrugs. “I think so,” he replies. They’ve been spending the evening at Jim’s place. Much food, and many boardgames later, it’s just the two of them. “You think so?” Leonard presses, and Jim sighs. “I just. I feel like I’m basically your boyfriend, but we’re not. Right? I mean, I’m the boyfriend without the benefits.” “The benefits?” Leonard repeats, “you mean sex.” “Basically,” Jim agrees, “but I didn’t know. I mean, how do you even see us?” “I think there’s more benefits to dating someone than just sex, for starters,” Leonard replies. “I didn’t mean it like that,” Jim says, “I’ll happily spend time with you even if you don’t, you know-“ but Leonard leans in and kisses him. Slowly, leaving Jim breathless. “Does that answer your question?” Leonard asks, and Jim smiles lightly. “I think… maybe, you should show me again, a few times.”

anonymous asked:

dp/dr spock is literally so fuckin important. god bless.

Spock having dpdr just makes so much sense for him though. I told so many different people about it, and they said that they not only saw it, but thought Spock was a perfect example of someone who has that disorder. 

He dissociates regularly to help control/contain his emotions, but what ends up actually happening is him “disconnecting” from reality to undermine the EXISTENCE of his emotions. That way, he never has to experience them in their full intensity (but still gets about 10% of them because even dissociation isn’t going to help the fact that he HAS emotions). He experiences shame over having them in the first place (see: The Naked Time, This Side of Paradise, Amok Time, Journey to Babel, The Motion Picture), and he has delayed responses to his surroundings in general (see: Journey to Babel, The Immunity Syndrome, The Voyage Home, Unification Part II). In The Empath, I recall that Gem freaked out when she was trying to read him. Spock dissociates from his emotions so well that he can convince even someone whose entire means of existence relies on feeling what others feel. That’s not a neurotypical brain she was dealing with. Even if you justify it by saying “well, he’s half Vulcan, of course she’d be thrown off”, I don’t buy it. Vulcans have emotions, just as they have astoundingly high emotional control—but they don’t hide their emotions from themselves. They accept them as existent, but rationalize them with logical disciplines so they can let go of them and move on. This empath knows what typical humanoid minds feel like, and Spock hiding his emotions even from HIMSELF would be something that would throw off even another telepath. 

I hypothesize that this all likely started because he grew up in an environment where experiencing the emotions he naturally had was considered shameful. Plus everyone splitting and splicing that poor child into various boxes, in attempts to “define” his identity (without ever….ya know….asking him what HE thought) must’ve made him feel more like a political statement than a Vulcan/human biological lifeform. He likely coped with all the emotional turmoil by subconsciously diverting the burden of his existence into something that would make him feel like he DIDN’T actually exist—at least, not in the form that others saw him as (some people with dpdr accept that they exist, but feel closer to AI units, video game characters, simulation products, etc. than humans). The world probably felt just as unreal to him, but even if he never experienced the derealization part of the disorder, it’s very obvious he experiences the depersonalization part. The best ways he had to cope with everything he went through probably arose from forming and holding onto thoughts like “what I’m experiencing isn’t real because I’M not real.”

To make matters worse, he has to share the consciousness of other beings when he mind-melds with them. This would absolutely contribute to the depersonalization, because even if he accepts himself as “Spock,” he wouldn’t even feel like Spock when he does this—and who even knows of the lasting effects that mind-melds could have on someone who doesn’t even feel real to begin with? Plus he becomes a disembodied brain at some point (Spock’s Brain), and doesn’t even bat an eye at the idea of his mind and body existing separately from each other. This isn’t Vulcan emotional control, this is Spock literally being so used to this idea being true that he accepts it without further question or speculation. (Sidenote: later in his life, he undergoes the fal-tor-pan ritual to get his katra rejoined with his body, and he spends all of the next movie being completely out of touch with himself and his surroundings. Even if you attribute that to him having died, lost memories, and lost emotional connections to his close friends and family, he still experiences the depersonalization/derealization symptoms and meets all diagnostic criteria for the disorder regardless of his external circumstances.)

Anyway, I thought it was interesting how a dpdr character blog posted Spock as one of their first characters ever. I suppose most people who have the disorder and have seen Star Trek recognize those symptoms immediately, because they’re very hard to put into words, but they’re absolutely recognizable in other characters who exhibit/display them. Another problem with recognizing these symptoms is that they’re so internalized, only a character with a ton of development/screentime (such as Spock) would be thought of or considered to have an otherwise generally invisible (and relatively unknown) disorder. 

I know this won’t make any sense to a lot of people reading this, so I’ll say this now to avoid potential problems—if you don’t have the symptoms of this disorder or other dissociative disorders, please just don’t say anything on the matter. I don’t care if you think Spock doesn’t have dpdr. Neurodivergent headcanons about fictional characters are very tricky to develop/articulate, because the symptoms are virtually unrecognizable to people who don’t share those exact specific experiences with that character, and can pinpoint things about it based on their own experiences with the disorder. Plus, if you don’t like it, someone else’s interpretation of a character sharing a disorder they have literally harms no one, but helps so many different people who struggle with the same problems the disorder creates for them. 

fic sneak peek

This morning, I woke up to find I’d hit a follower milestone. I promised myself that when that happened, I’d do something to celebrate. So, please enjoy this first draft of the mini sequel to Entering Orbit. It’s not beta read, it has [things which are incomplete and written in brackets like this], and it has some rough patches, but I hope you enjoy what exists so far. 

Thank you for following this blog and supporting me while I drown myself in space husbands. 

Rating: Teen
Wordcount: 5.6k
Summary: Meeting the parents

***

“I don’t understand why we couldn’t have done this in San Francisco,” Jim said, kicking open the front door. “We’re only on planet for two weeks.”

He shrugged off his coat and held out a hand for Spock’s, hanging them both in the hall closet. Spock closed the front door. Jim sighed at the sight of a familiar jacket, well-worn and grease stained, already hanging beside a decidedly Vulcan traveling robe. 

“I guess they’re here,” he muttered, closing the closet door and hooking his thumbs in his belt loops. 

“It appears so,” Spock agreed. 

“Ready?” Jim asked, motioning to the living room.

“No,” Spock said, “but unless you wish to return on the 14:30 shuttle, we do not have a choice.”

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