hey it's me!!!! i'm sorry i've been away but school has been SUPER hard plus i have swim practice every day. i had an idea for a fic? i think i saw one similar but id like to see your take on it. just super angst you saeran in love with mc but she doesn't return his feelings BC she loves saeyoung. pls no saeran x mc x saeyoung BC it makes me super uncomfortable
Thank you for your request sweetie *v* i hope you like it!
He saw her first
It’s just painful. Painful to see the very first person you ever loved in your whole life in another man’s arm, especially if this man is your brother.
Saeran just wants to hold you in his arms for at least one time and know that you’re his, but you know that this is not going to happen. Of course, he feels bad for loving his brother’s wife, but he just can’t help it, and he doesn’t want to tell that to anyone, he never opens up, imagine in this situation.
Even being cured, even being here with his family, with new friends, and with a life, he can’t help it, he still feels a big hole in his heart, he needs love, a true love, you would be perfect.
He thanks himself for having this grumpy face, nobody even thinks he must be jealous or sad, only grumpy, hating seeing you and Saeyoung being all lovey dovey together.
He wonders if one day you’ll change your mind and see him in from of you…But this another wild dream in his head, oh yes, this all that he can do: Dream.
He always dreams, what would be like if you were his, all those kisses were meant for you, not for Saeyoung, he would do all that you wanted him to do, he thinks a smile would be always in his face…But he’s alone.
He wants to forget you, he really does, but every time you smile at him for anything, or if he listens to you laugh, or look at your eyes...Or even think about you, he has no choice, he can’t help but love you.
He needs help, he can’t do this alone, he wants to pray, Saeyoung always said that helps, but every time he closes his eyes he remembers you.
You’re in control of him.
Your story with Saeran has no ending since it hasn’t even a beginning.
The heaven that is being with you is not meant for him, he accepts that.
His whole life will be like that, he can’t stand on his feet, what is he becoming now?
He cries about this, almost every night, he wipes his tears with his sleeve of his sweater.
This time, he has almost a hundred percent of sure nobody will save him, even one day with you would be the best thing in his life if he could only spend all day with you…If he could only hold tight, but he accepts the defeat.
He wants to let you know all this, this hurts so much, he’s trying to let you go. He’s so grumpy, mad about everything, cold, but with you, it’s not like that at all.
Inside this mask, inside his walls, it has a Saeran that loves you so much.
His life is not going to get brighter.
You’re in his brother’s arms and he has to see this every day…Time is his only ally, only he might take you out of his mind.
He always tries to not kiss you, or even hug you, or he doesn’t let you go. He could even try to confess, but he knows he would get an“I don’t love you.” and it would ruin everybody’s life.
He’s so sick, so tired of all these feelings, he’s crying so much because of that, he took you like his new drug, he lost his mind again.
He fell in love and fell apart.
And every time Luciel asks him if he’s alright Saeran lies and say “Of course i’m fine, idiot brother.”
Saeran just hopes you’ll be happy.
But he’s too tired of listening to the sound of his tears.