she makes me feel okay about my insecurities

as free as [his] hair

so @thesschesthair committed the ultimate sin today and removed all of Killian’s hair. (hey @killian-whump, you’re guilty, too ;P )

so I had to fix it: let’s give him MORE HAIR (but not, like, hirsuteness or anything crazy). 1.3k of unbeta’d fluff (almost literally) [title from “Hair” by Lady Gaga]

She didn’t notice it at first—not until the day she was trying to tell her mom about Killian’s elf ears.

“Just look at them!” Emma exclaimed, pointing across Granny’s to where he stood at the counter fetching drinks. But his hair covered up the pointed tips, and that’s when she realized that it was longer than it had been in a long time; probably not since their return from the Underworld.

Her mother told her she believed her, but Emma spent the rest of the meal wondering at Killian’s choice of hairstyle. She’d never tell him how to wear it, of course, but she wondered if it hinted at anything emotionally, though he hadn’t been acting out of the ordinary.

It became something she kept on silent observation, figuring commentary might make him self-conscious. But it was definitely getting longer, and it almost felt thicker whenever her fingers inevitably found their way into it at more intimate times. (And, if she wasn’t wrong, so did his chest hair. There wasn’t more of it, necessarily—it still  decorated his pecs in the same way, trailing down just the center of his stomach—but he just seemed extra…huggable lately. Like a teddy bear. But she’d absolutely NEVER tell him that.)

She did finally have to say something after hearing him huff for the umpteenth time when having to pushing his fringe from his face while prepping dinner.

“You know, I have probably have a headband somewhere you could borrow…or a hair tie,” she suggested, pushing his locks from his face and running her hand back through his coif, to where it ended near the base of his neck.

“Are you suggesting we share hair accessories in addition to the kohl we already both use?” he proposed in reply, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Wait—you’re the reason I keep running out of eyeliner?” His wink was the only answer she received but it was enough to distract her from her initial comment—until a few days later, when he asked for her help in pulling his hair back into a ponytail. (She didn’t say anything, but may have taken to playing with the little nub of hair whenever the opportunity presented itself.)

She figured, at some point, he’d want to get it cut, but still it grew. And she knew it wasn’t the first time he’d worn his hair pulled back—she’d seen the ribbons on his ship—but figured that he might get tired of having to have her put it up every day. Of course, she didn’t mind doing it, seeing as it wasn’t often she got the chance to pamper him when he did so much for her, but still—it was a little surprising.

(Though not as surprising as seeing her dad’s full head of curls that he probably hadn’t sported since he was a kid.)

So she continued to be merely amused by it, until the day she was searching for an extra bottle of body wash in the bathroom cupboard and found an odd, old-fashioned bottle hiding with the shaving cream. It definitely wasn’t hers, and given the nature of liquids in weird vials in this town, she grew worried.

“Killian, is this yours?” she asked him as she went downstairs, interrupting him reading. She didn’t think it was his, but figured she should cover her bases before calling Regina—though her thumb was already hovering over the mayor’s name on her phone.

Killian looked up from his book and then, to her shock, blanched when he saw what she held. He swallowed thickly before replying, “Oh, you found that.”

Keep reading

Dating Jimin would include

- 100% of his camera roll would be videos of him trying not to giggle in the background while he zoomed in on your face repeatedly, every video ends with you spotting him and him running away like a toddler

- Jimin lurking on himself on your Instagram and vine since he doesn’t have one, then when you get your phone back all your Instagram tags search bar look like is “Jimin hot” “hot Jimin” “Jimin is hot” “Jimin abs”

- him being happy from like the second he wakes up, like you trying to sleep and you can’t because Jimin brought Taehyung in the room, they’re dancing, you’re afraid to get out of bed, you ain’t got a bra or pants on, why would he do this

- playing hide n go seek in the dorms with him and hoseok, but you find his ass every time because he the type to hide behind a drape and leave his feet out, giggling and breathing all hard, then he act all surprised like “y/n! How did u find me????”

- he’s a big neck kisser, if you leave anywhere, he’d lean in and kiss on your neck instead of your mouth. And he does this everywhere like you’re in the store like JIMIN PLEASE

- not being able to leave anywhere without him, like you’ll be running back to your house to grab something and Jimin suddenly appears with his shoes half on and no shirt like where u goin? Can I go?

- you’d be laying in bed, reading something and then all of a sudden Jimin would come up to you and squeeze you from the side, then you’re both rolling together in his bed while he peppers you with kisses and smiles his cute little smile where his eyes disappear

- watching him at shows sometimes, and he’ll know you were in the audience so he’d be so extra, more than usual, like he’d be firing shots into the crowd with his pelvis and you’re getting jealous but turned on too like holy

- after concert make out sessions in your car before the company drives him back to where ever he has to go first, him leaving you with smeared lip stain and frustration

- Jimin always asking if he could come over at random hours because it’s the only time he might have off and he just wants to see you so bad

- stealing his clothes….like a lot. You’d come over and pretend you forgot sleeping clothes and Jimin would lend you his shirt and sweats and then you sneak off with them in the morning because they make your ass look good and they smell like him

- Taehyung trying to get the details on your relationship, like if there’s ever a fight (probably not, how can you fight with that muffin.) he’d sit you both down with his glasses n try to make u talk it out because you’re his favorite couple tbh

- “but she told me MY sweats look better on her!” “Okay but Jimin, where is the lie at?”

- him feeling a little insecure sometimes because he’d feel like he had to keep up with the image he had created of himself, sometimes passing up meals until you sat him down and talked to him about, explaining how perfect he is to you and the fans, and then proceeding to feed a happy Jimin forkfuls of ramen

- Jimin is such a cutie and that’s all I can think of your relationship being, he would do whatever to make you happy but sometimes forget about himself and that would make you sad, but it’s a 50/50 relationship, with Jimin knowing how much he means to you and such an intense pull on each other you both can’t be apart for too long (◕‿◕✿)

I work with seven other people, including my manager (who, for the most part, I quite like). Out of those seven, three (including my manager) wear one of the designated work shirts on a daily basis. One never wears hers (and 90% of the shirts she wears, you can see her bra through her shirt. And I work with kids, too), and the rest alternate between their work shirts and regular clothes. Now, I have a certain body type, and the work shirts look absolutely horrific on me even though they’re in my size because they’re not designed for my body type. They make me look and feel like a whale, and they make me feel incredibly insecure. I look about as unprofessional as I am capable of looking while still being semi-presentable. On top of that, they are incredibly insulating and uncomfortable. I do my work much better in my own comfortable clothing than I do in these shirts because they’re so goddamn uncomfortable. So few of my coworkers wear theirs every day, so I figured that every once and awhile it’d be okay to wear something I was comfortable and confident wearing. Wrong, evidently, because I walked in and the second my manager sees me, she tells me to remember to wear my shirt. I’m really, really pissed about it, actually. Why does everyone else get away with wearing their own stuff either all the time or the vast majority of the time but I can’t wear my own stuff once or twice a week without getting called out on it?

It’s Hard To Say Goodbye Pt. 7 // Fanfic

Modern Au // Nessian (+inner circle) 

Nesta woke up in her bed, she blinked up at the ceiling trying to think through everything that happened. She was at grief counseling and then she passed out. Was that all a dream? 

“Nes?” there was a soft knock on the door before Elain popped her head in. She smiled and walked into her room and over towards her. “How are you feeling?” 

Nesta sat up she felt something on her wrist and looked down at the hospital bracelet, “Okay, I think,”  she says softly, her heart sank when she saw the bracelet. It definitely wasn’t a dream. “What happened?” 

“You overdid it,” Feyre annouces coming into the room and sitting down o nthe bed next to her. “Bad news is the cancer is still spreading but its slowed up some.” 

Nesta runs a hand through her messy hair. “How did I end up here?” she asks. 

“You were in the hospital for a day and a half. They said you just needed rest and that we could bring you home,” Feyre says, as if realizing what Nesta was about to ask she continues, “Cassian carried you up here for us.”

She froze, with everything going on she had completely forgotten about Cassian. “Does-does he know?” she mumbles softly. 

Elain nods, “We didn’t realize he didn’t know so we didn’t really keep it a secret from him. I am sorry, Nes,” she says, squeezing Nesta’s hand. 

“He would of found out sooner or later,” Nesta retorts but she felt her stomach fill with guilt. “He wouldn’t happen to be here, would he?”

Feyre shakes her head while Elain answers, “No, but he did say to call him when you woke up. Should we call him?”

“I should,” Nesta says with confidence. She had to face him. 

“How about we call him while you shower and then you can talk face to face, you don’t want to say anything you’ll regret over the phone,” she says. Nesta sighed and reluctantly nodded her head. Her sister made a point and she did stink. 

After she showered, brushed her hair and teeth, and changed she could hear people talking out in her living room. “How is she?” she recognized Rhysands voice. 

“It’s nothing permanent, she just overdid herself. I don’t think she realizes she can’t keep acting like she’s not sick,” Feyre replies. She hears sniffles and Feyre say, “Don’t cry, Elain. You don’t want her to see. She feels awful already.” 

A knock on her door has her jumping back a couple feet, “Yes?” she says clearing her throat. 

The door opens and Cassian steps into the room closing the door behind him. “Hey,” he says quietly looking everywhere but her. Before she can say anything though he meets her eyes and asks, “Why didn’t you tell me? Could you not trust me?”

“That’s not it, Cas. I do trust you. I just didn’t want you to look at me how your looking at me right now. With pity or like I am doll about to break,” Nesta replies, crossing her arms insecurely. 

“Were you ever going to tell me? Or was I just supposed to read it in the newspaper over my Sunday morning coffee?” he asks bitterly. Nesta shrinks back like his words slapped her in the face. He did make a point. 

“No, Cas-,” Nesta starts but she pauses. What could she say? “I am sorry, okay. I know it was selfish of me to do this but you were the only person who didn’t know. You made me feel like I wasn’t sick. Like I still had a whole lifetime ahead of me.” 

“Did you ever think about me? You make me fall in love with you and you die three months later? You let me get attached why you know your going to-,” he pauses and looks away rubbing his neck. “I just don’t think I can do this anymore.” 

“What?” Nesta asks, her eyebrows furrowing. 

“I am sorry,” Cassian says, turning and leaving the room. She follows him out into the living room where Rhys, Elain, and Feyre are sitting. They look up as Cassian walks past them and out the door. 

“What happened?” Feyre asks. 

“He doesn’t want to get attached,” Nesta retorts, her heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces but at the same time she didn’t blame him. She wouldn’t want to get involved with someone who had a expiration date. 

Dear Friend,

April 1, 2017

It’s April Fool’s day. 
I promise you I won’t be telling you any jokes in this letter. 
Instead, I promise you that it will be a handful of truths that you wish were a joke, or maybe just a story that I’ve made up. 
Unfortunately, my life doesn’t work that way. 
It’s been a mess ever since he left me. 

I don’t think I’ve ever told you his name - nickname at least.
I call him Voldemort. 
Why, you ask?
Well, there was this time in my life - about a year ago - he left to another city up north in Texas called Austin. 
He didn’t tell anyone bye. 
Not even me. 
I didn’t know I was an “anyone” to him. 
I thought I was at least a “someone.”
I guess I was mistaken. 

He left without notice. 
It caught me off guard when he did. 
I sent him so many texts. 
I never got a reply. 

This was going on for over five months. 
Text after text after text AFTER text, I kept giving in! 
Why do I give in?
You would think that after a month of not replying I’d get the hint. 
I did get the hint, I just didn’t want to give up on him. 
He was such a dear friend to me. 
I couldn’t just pretend that he didn’t exist even though he was doing just that to me. 

As the months went on, it got harder and harder for me to think about him. 
Every day, I’d hear his name, see his face, or hear his voice in my head. 
It was so difficult. 
It got to the point that I hated hearing his name so much that when I’d talk about him to my friends I’d call him Voldemort. 

“Voldemort? Who’s Voldemort? Like from Harry Potter?” my friends would question. 

“Yes. Voldemort! That’s what I’m going to call him from now on because I hate hearing his name. He’s my version of JK Rowling’s ‘He Who Must Not Be Named.’”

So, that’s how he got his nickname. 
It’s quite funny though how history decides to repeat itself. 
On January 15, 2017, I sent you a letter telling you about the last time I saw him. 
Referring to that - I still haven’t seen him since then. 
In the past three months, he has only sent me one text message. 
It’s happening all over again. 
And this time I feel like I have lost him for good. 

When he did this to me last year, I was so worried for him. 
I was constantly thinking about him and his health and his well-being. 
I was always wondering what he was doing. 
And most of all, I always wondered if he was happy. 

Now, it’s different. 
Now, he’s not over three hundred miles away from me. 
In fact, he’s less than two miles away from me. 
I haven’t seen him in months. 
I haven’t talked to him in months. 

I still worry about him. 
I still want to know if he’s healthy. 
I still constantly think about him.
And I still wonder what he’s doing,

He doesn’t know this, mostly because it’s a little creepy, but I do take a drive by his house every once in a while.
I got a new car, so he doesn’t know what I’ve been driving.
I always go with the hopes of running into him while he’s outside.
All I want to do is see his face.
Is that too much to ask for?

There wasn’t many differences between the first time he pretended I didn’t exist and the time that I’m going through now. 
The one main difference between then and now, is that I know he’s happy.
He’s happy… 

He doesn’t need me anymore. 
He’s with the girl of his dreams and I’m just figuratively watching him from the sidelines.
I’m watching him be happy with someone else. 
He just used me. 
I was just a distraction until she came back into his life. 
He ran faster to her than he would’ve ever run to me. 
I love him, but he loves her. 
He’s my soul mate, but I’m not his. 

I hate hearing his name again. 
I hate seeing his blue car when it’s not even his. 
I hate going to places where we shared the most memories. 
I just hate thinking about him so much because I know he’s not thinking of me.

I wish I was more prepared for this.
I’m going through the exact same thing as last year, so why does it feel worse than better?
Is it because I want to believe that he was starting to fall for me?
Is it because I know he was happy with me too?
He was.
Is it because he broke the walls around my heart down?

We started doing so many things together. 
He started to make me come out of my shell - as did I with him. 
I saw the look in his eyes when he looked at me. 
I heard the tone of his voice when he told me he really liked me. 
And I heard the sarcasm every time he told me “I hate you.” 
He didn’t mean that. 
Maybe he was secretly telling me “I love you,” but he was just too afraid to say it. 

It’s sad… because I can’t begin to understand what he goes through on a daily basis. 
I don’t know what it’s like to be in love with a guy when you can’t even admit to yourself. 
I can’t begin to understand what he goes through when someone would ask him who I was. 
Was I “just a friend?”
What if they questioned him why we would hang out so much. 
How would I handle that if I was in his shoes?

I want to believe that he was falling in love with me, because it would be the only reasonable explanation as to why he won’t talk to me. 
He got scared. 
I get it. 
His family doesn’t know about his attraction toward men. 
I get it. 

What I don’t get is why he would go back to her?
From what I can recall, in my opinion, she makes him feel so insecure about himself. 
She tells him things like:
He’s a bad influence.
He’s making you do things - drink and other things that happen behind closed, locked doors. 
He’s not a good person. 
You’re better than that. 
That’s not like you. 
You don’t do those things. 

Why does she have to degrade me like that?
And to her own boyfriend too.
I honestly feel like she makes him feel ashamed of himself. 

I hope he doesn’t listen to her. 
I hope he knows that it’s okay to be gay. 
I hope he knows that it’s okay to be in love with a guy. 
Especially someone that would treat him right for the rest of his life.
He’s too beautiful, inside and out to not be treated the right way. 

I remember one thing he told me when he started talking to her again and he and I were on good terms. 
He was telling me that one time when she said something offensive to him, he replied with, “You know what? Sometimes you treat me like a nobody. Unlike Alex, at least he treats me like I’m a somebody.” 

Hearing that brought so much joy to my ears. 
It was wonderful. 
If only he still stuck by that comment and chose me instead of her. 
To be honest, I hope he still compares me to her a lot. 
I want him to know what he’s missing. 
I want him to know what he could’ve had. 
True, real happiness with no judgement. 

I’m not saying he’s not happy now.
I’m just saying, maybe all the comments she made about him not being “him” aren’t true because she doesn’t know the real him. 
Maybe he opened up to me in ways he never did with her.
I feel like I met the real Voldemort.
I feel like I made him feel comfortable. 
He knew I wouldn’t have judged him. 
I think that’s all he needs. 
To be with someone who won’t judge him for what he truly is.  

I want to talk to him. 
I want to hear his soothing voice, especially during sad times like these.
When I’m home alone on the bar writing to you, lights flickering, music playing and surrounded by darkness. 
I feel so empty tonight. 
I wish I knew how to fill this void without needing him.

To be honest, I don’t think it will ever be filled until he comes back to me. 
I’ve tried seeing other people. 
I’ve tried letting someone see my vulnerable side.
I’ve tried finding someone with the same taste in music, games, movies and tv shows like me.
I haven’t found anyone so far.
He and I had so much in common. 
He’s going to be so hard to replace. 

Incidentally, in my previous letter I mentioned some things that I should probably keep you updated on.
I ended up talking to my Management professor after all. 
She almost cried during our talk. 
Her eyes got so glossy, especially after I told her that it’s been difficult for me to get out of bed. 
I could tell that she understood.
She gave me some advice and told me I should go see a counselor - if I wanted to of course. 
She wasn’t forcing the decision upon me. 
I knew she was right when she told me that it would help me a lot. 

Also, my friend from Chicago left this week. 
I miss her already. 
We had such a good time while she was here. 
We went to the beach. 
We went shopping. 
We ate my favorite restaurants. 
I took her to her old home. 
And of course we watched our favorite movies. 
I had such a great time with her. 
I can’t wait until I get to visit her next. 

Love Always,


Pairing : Reader x Jaehyun

Genre : Fluff

Words : 1803 words

A/N : Okay, I’m not confident with this one too but please do give your thoughts after reading it cuz ugh I tried to make it not suck-ish but idk T_T why am I like this


She slapped both sides of her cheeks in unison just for the sake of getting ride her nervousness. It has been thirty minutes since she got in the toilet cubical and she still could not convince herself to get out from it. She breaths in, and breaths out. “Okay, okay…now is the time. You have to do this Y/N” she said to herself. “When will you get the chance to do this again? Never, no, so it has to be today” she assured herself again. She stood up, and unlock the door, walking out from the rest room confidently. It is her last day of internship in the magazine company she signed up three months ago. There are three of them doing the internship program and she is one of them.

When it comes to be in a work place, there will be a lot of interesting agenda to discover. Such as, gaining experiences in your field, meeting new people, or… or discovering that your Head of Fashion Department is a very gorgeous man of the century. As she arrived at the table which the team already booked earlier, she sat beside one of her colleagues that she is close with. She got poured a glass of beer by them to show their gratitude from working in the company. She looked over the empty seat in front of her that was supposed to be fill by him. Taking another sip of her drink, she told herself to keep on being patient and wait for him to come. Out of her concern, someone nudges her right arm. “He’ll come don’t worry. By the way, I’m rooting for you. So, just say it to him that you like him okay?” she encouraged her. She just nodded and thankful for her support. Tonight is the night, she will confess her feelings for her.

“Everyone, sorry we’re late!”

The owner of the voice that makes her heart throbs, there he is. His name is Lee Taeyong, twenty two years old, his zodiac sign is Cancer, blood type O, and the most caring person you could ever meet. “The traffic was hectic, we had a long meeting with the clients, but thank goodness it all went well” he smiled. “Yes, it all went well because you have me~” a figure appearred behind him and that is Jung Jaehyun; his annoying side kick. Since the first day she works at the company, that guy never leave her alone. He always popped up anywhere even when she did not need him.

“Do you have any question?”

“Can you really do that work?”

“Want some coffee?”

“You know, I don’t think you are doing it right”

“Ah, Taeyong hyung would not like that design”

Every little thing you do, he always took notice first. Sometimes, he could be helpful but most of the time not really.

Taeyong take a seat which is the opposite of yours and Jaehyun is sitting beside him. “Long day huh?” she started a conversation with Taeyong. He nodded and took a sip of water, “Yea, but it’s all  good. How about you?”. Her heart almost dropped when he asked how was her day, it is like he really do curious about her. “I’m okay, just a bit sad that I will be leaving soon” you replied. “Oh, yea. You are good at what you do, so don’t worry. I’ll be praying for you to get a better job than here” he gave her a warm smile. “You’re right hyung, she’ll do good. I support you too!” Jaehyun interuptted. She ignored that shamless guy and still paying attention to Taeyong. The team enjoying the good time they had, talking, drinking, singing and do some silly stuff to entertain themselves. After a while, Taeyong got up from his seat and try to get everybody’s attention.

“Guys, thank you for being here today. I want to say thank you, especially to all the interns that have worked hard to help us here in Fashion Department.”

Everyone cheers to his speech.

“Okay, calm down. I’m not done yet. I want to announce something really important. I thought you guys should know about this because all of you are like my family here,”

She attentively listening to him, eager to know what will he annouce.

“I’m… getting married with my fiance; Byul” he introduced her to everyone which she is actually his assistant in the company.

Her heart broke to pieces when he put his lips on her sweetly and everybody  happily congratulate them. She could not bear her tears anymore and decided to excuse herself. Everybody were clueless when she went away but not for long they are still paying attention to the new couple.

As she strolls on the sidewalks, the rain starts to pour heavily. It is like the weather fits her gloomy heart, which makes her even more devastated. She continue to walk without direction, just following where her steps would go. She laughed at herself, thinking that she had a chance with someone like Taeyong. She always think that she is so pathetic when it comes to having a relationship. Since in high school, she never had a gut to tell her feelings with her crush and always let him slipped away. She thinks too much until she oftenly lose her chances in any possibilities she can have with any guy. “Gosh, I’m an idiot…” she talk to herself. Out of her concern, she carelessly trip down and almost kissing the cold floor. She dislocated her right ankle, groaning in pain. She wails in frustration, “Great, just damn great!!!”

The raindrops that was supposed to continously pouring on her stopped. An umbrella shield her from getting wet again, while the face of owner is still hazy. The figure kneel down to meet her level, it was Jung Jaehyun. He snickered and laugh at her, it feels like he is mocking her and it really irritates her more.

“What’s so funny?”



“You look cute when you’re clumsy”

She rolled her eyes. Well, he does find this entertaining instead of giving her a hand. As she was about to stand up, he help her by holding her arm. Afraid of falling again, she let him assist her anyway. “I can walk on my own” she fidgeted his hand away. Her ankle is still killing her but she try to stable her posture which she failed. He put the umbrella aside and bend down in front of her while showing his back. “Get on my back” he told her. “No way” she refused. He sighed, “Stop being stubborn and get on my back Y/N. Please?” he begged her. She does not have any choice but to oblige his favour. “Fine, just this once” she admitted and lend on his back carefully.



The rain that was shotting down heavily a few minutes ago has become lighter through their journey. Jaehyun was planning to drop her at the nearest bus stop which that would be the least he can do if she is not feeling uncomfortable around him. she is holding the umbrella while clinging to him tightly, worried that she might fall any soon. Then, out of curiousity, she asked him a question. “Did you follow me from behind?” she sounded a bit irked. “And if I did?” he replied. She gave him a silent treatment because she is speechless how thick skinned is this guy can be. If he is doing this only because he sympatized her, she will be more furious. She is wondering why does he even take interest in her while in the company she will avoid him the most.

He put her down on the bus stop seat carefully and gave her his jacket to covers her legs. She was surprised when he did that but accepted his kind gestures. “Wait here” then he was gone to the convinience store behind the bus stop. She is getting suspicious of his action but waited for him patiently at the bus stop. He came with a ice pack and pain relief patch in his hands. He quickly giving aid to her sprained ankle before it would get more swollen. Once he is done, he feels more relax and take a seat beside her. She is still stunned from what he just did to her, because their relationship never took a step further than being a colleague. Or, that is what she thought. The night was soundless, even the car pass by faded one after another.

“Don’t feel so insecure about yourself, Y/N” he assured her. “Taeyong hyung maybe didn’t see your charm, but someone else will” he smiled to her. She scoffed at his comment. Some will see her charm? She does not even have one maybe.

“Okay, so who is that someone? Who will see my ‘charm’?”

“Hmm…it could be me.” He admitted.

“What are you saying now?”

“I’m saying now that… I like you”

“….you’re bluffing” she laughed nervously. But what makes her more confused is her heart is beating fast after she heard him confessing to her. It feels unreal and her mind went blank and she is totally not in her right mind now.

“If I’m bluffing, I would not carry you here and gave you the aid so easily because I don’t usually do that to any other girls I knew” he explained.

“Sorry that if this so sudden. I like you since you first came in the company but I don’t want to freak you out so that’s why I’ve been keeping to myself…” He continued.

“Why woud you even like me? I mean I’m awkward and there’s nothing special about me-“

“Yes, because your awkwardness is cute and you don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. That’s what special about you, I find that delightful and charming.” He said in amusement.

She stared at him, and he did the same.

Suddenly, she laughed out loud. She laughed until she shed tears in her eyes and she is not so sure that was a tear of joy or sad. She is just touched when he said those words which she never expected to hear from anybody. She put her cold hands on her heated face, she could not control her expressions anymore. She exhaled and look at him directly, “I..don’t really know how to say this.. so..” she is still searching for the right words to say. “I..just..”

“Just give me a chance to get to know you better” he looks at her with a hopeful eyes. He waited for her to respond, praying that she will accept his request. Her gazed fixed on him, about to tell her reply in a second.

“Why not? I would like to get to know you better too” she smiled.


A/N: Peaches, what do you think? Part 2? Idk what to do T_T why am I not good at this anymore? :”) @jaehyunsleatherpants sorry If this is not what you requested :”D

I wasn’t feeling so great last night, overthinking things. And thinking nobody really did enjoy my squid OCs.

Which in turn made me wanna make more splatoon OCs. So here is Rose! Shes a anemone who is pretty ditzy about like…everything but is super supportive of everyone the best she can! 

Starfruit is basically her bff, and also a bit of her brain as Starfruit reminds Rose of things she needs to remember and of what certain things are. 

I’ll give her a outfit soon. 

anonymous asked:

I am in a long distance relationship of almost 5 months. She visited me for almost three weeks in august and the night she left I had gone to a friends and I blacked out. I woke up naked next to a guy and he said we had sex. I told my girlfriend. I have a hard time now because I don't remember it and I still tell myself it was my fault. My girlfriend didn't leave me. But I still worry this will effect us in the long run. Any advice?

ahhhhh… okay so first and foremost, i’d sincerely sit down and talk to her about how you can genuinely get her forgiveness. this is something very important because if it’s not resolved, it’ll permanently effect your relationship. you also have to understand if she feels jealous or insecure it’s your job to make her feel secure and supported by you. someone who is cheated on is forever effected and you have to do everything in your power to be understanding because its your fault. stop blacking out, and don’t put the blame on anyone else.

Joey / vanilla

this is dedicated to every beautiful black girl in this fandom because there is always a lack of representation for woc when it comes to fic’s and smut.

my hand scrolls down the screen of my phone. tears brim my eyes and slowly fall, sliding down my cheeks. after making all of my accounts private, they have still managed to send me hate and make me feel so extremely insecure.

I would never let Shawn see me cry. I would play it off as reading something online or watching a sad movie. he never noticed. and I didn’t want him to.

a tear escapes my eye as I read all the negative, hateful mentions I received on Twitter. they always managed to make me feel insecure about my skin. the hate started a month after Shawn went public with our relationship. my family was understanding and okay with me dating someone outside of my race. his family was the same, as well. both families were completely accepting of our interracial relationship. we figured that his fans would be okay with it, too.

but they weren’t. some were, some weren’t. there’s love for the relationship, but the hate seems to stomp out the love.

‘i don’t care if shes light skin or not, i don’t want her with shawn.’

'i thought freckles were supposed to look cute on people? how come they don’t look cute on joey?’

I toss my phone to the other side of the couch, wanting to distance myself from the hate. instead, I got up from the couch and walked over to the bathroom to wash my face. as soon as I turn the faucet on, letting the cold and hot water run together to become warm, I look at myself in the mirror.

my freckles went from my nose to some of my cheeks. my dark brown eyes were almost black from having cried for such a long time. the comments they made about my appearance always got the best of me. I even refused to step out in public with Shawn out of fear that someone would take a picture of me and make me feel even more insecure about my appearance and skin.

I tuck my brown hair behind my ears and cup my hands under the faucet. after collecting some water, I splash it onto my face. the moment I look at myself in the mirror, I can’t help but break down again. my back is against the wall and my hand is over my mouth as my body slightly shakes while I cry.


I quickly splash some more water on my face before shutting off the faucet. my hand is on the knob but Shawn opens the door first.

“hey, baby,” he smiles as he looks down at me. his smile slowly fades as he takes a look at me. “why’re you crying?”

I wipe away a tear that managed to escape with my thumb before looking down at my feet. “sad episode of Grey’s Anatomy,” I tell him, looking up. “it’s fine. I’m fine.”

Shawn wraps his arms around me in a hug and I bury my face in his chest, silently weeping into him. “sh, it’s okay,” he says while running a hand up and down my back.

I pull apart from his arms. “no, Shawn, it’s not okay. I’m not okay.” I say before walking out of the bathroom and to the living room.

“Joey, what’s wrong? it’s just an episode,” he tells me as he follows me into the living room.

I grab my phone from the couch and type in my password. with my thumb, I press onto Twitter and scroll through the mentions. “here!”

Shawn takes the phone from me and his eyes are practically glued to my phone as he squints his eyes, his mouth slightly open as he reads the awful things that have been sent to me. I sniffle, wiping away my tears with the palm of my hand. “is everything still okay?”

“why didn’t you tell me this was happening?” he asks me.
“so this is now my fault?” I ask.
“no, baby, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying I could’ve stopped this. I could have stopped this and you wouldn’t be crying.”

Shawn tosses the phone on the couch and looks at the floor. “so all this time, you really weren’t watching sad movies or television episodes?”

“I didn’t want you to know,” I shake my head. “I didn’t want to give them an even more reason to hate me.”

Shawn looks up at me, “you know you’re none of those things they tell you, right?”

“I can’t help but feel like they’re right,” I say, wiping away another tear with my thumb. “maybe I am ugly, maybe my skin is ugly, maybe my freckles are ugly.”

“Joey, don’t think that. don’t you ever, ever think that.” he says as he holds my face in his hands. Shawn wipes away my tears with his thumbs and holds me to his body again.

he feels warm, comforting, safe. everything I needed to feel right now.

“I love you, so much.” he says to me. “I love every little thing there is about you.”

he kisses the top of my head and for a moment, I feel safe in his arms. “I love you.”

“don’t listen to jealous, insecure people behind a screen,” Shawn says to me. “they don’t know how beautiful you are to me.”

Shawn leans down and kisses my cheek. “don’t cry anymore, Joey, please.”

he pulls back and wipes away my tears and slowly leans in. his lips meet mine, and I feel ten times better. I kiss him back in the heat of the moment. Shawn kisses back and our lips begin to move in rhythm with one another. I take off his jacket and it slides off his toned arms and onto the couch.

he placed his hands on my hips before running them down my backside and to my thighs. Shawn lifts me up and carries me down the hall and into our shared bedroom of our loft.

he sets me down on my feet and breaks the kiss to take off my shirt. the fabric lifts over my face and then my arms before he tosses it to the floor behind me. Shawn places his thumb on my chin and leans in to connect our lips for one kiss before he slowly kneels down.

as he takes my pants off, he slowly kisses my thighs. I step out of the pants and Shawn kisses up my thighs and to my hips. his thumbs run light circles against my skin while my hand rests on his hair.

“your skin is beautiful.” Shawn murmurs against my skin.

he stands up and takes off his shirt and let’s it fall to the floor. our lips reconnect while he has a hand at my neck and the other at my hip. my hands rest on his forearms as he leads me over to the bed.

I fall back on the cream colored duvet with a soft thud. Shawn gets on his knees and crawls on top of me. he kisses at my cheek and down to my neck. my hands go down to his pants and I begin to unbuckle them as he kicks off his shoes. after they unbuckle, Shawn shimmies them down and off his legs.

he rests between my legs, his lips attached to mine as he kisses me with such a sweet frenzy.

“Shawn,” I pant as I feel his fingers play with the hem of my underwear. he sucks tenderly at my jawline while he pulls down my panties. I kick them off once they reach my ankles.

our bodies tangle in the covers as we roll over one another. his hands are at my neck, his thumbs on my jawline as he continues to sweetly kiss me over and over again.

my hands trail down the skin of his back before stopping at the band of his Calvin’s. I dip my fingers into the hem and slowly pull them down as much as I can. Shawn pulls back from the kiss and brings his lips to my collarbones. he peppers my skin with kisses as he slides off his briefs.

he brings his lips up to my neck and I feel him slowly entering me. I toss my head back against the pillow and part my lips as I take in the feeling of Shawn sliding himself into me.

“you okay?” he asks me.
“ah huh.” I nod.
“okay,” he says, kissing my jaw as he is fully inside me.

I place my hands on his broad shoulders as he kisses my lips once more as he pulls out slowly. Shawn stops halfway before slowly stoking back into me.

I close my eyes and listen to his soft grunts as he trusts softly inside me. he moans my name softly; his voice tickling my ear. I run my fingers through his hair and moan as he starts to go out and in, out and inside me.

“look at me,” Shawn says. I shake my head, biting my lip to muffle a moan. “Joey, look at me.”

I open my eyes and see his topaz eyes looking into my brown eyes. he nods and smiles.

“I love you,” he pants.
“Shawn,” I whisper.

I lean up and kiss his lips, only to pull back to moan in ecstasy. he thrusts inside me and my breath hitches. the headboard begins to softly bang against the wall and the bed starts to squeak here and there.

my legs wrap around his waist and he places his right hand at my left thigh while he holds onto my lower back with his left hand. I lightly dig my nails into his back. he thrusts into me and I accidentally scratch at his back.

Shawn removes his hand from my thigh and takes my hand in his and intertwines our fingers.

“are you okay?” Shawn asks me again.
and again I nod and reassure him that I am in fact okay.

his hands to the mattress and he supports himself as he continues to slowly thrust into me. Shawn starts slowly, then slightly picks up speed, but just enough to allow me to still be comfortable under him.

I kiss his lips over and over, mumbling my love for him in between kisses.

his body is warm on mine. his body is bigger than mine and makes me feel safe under him. all the hate I have read and seen is completely gone from my mind. hearing Shawn’s whimpers of his love for me and his moans remind me that I have him, and that’s the only reason why some of his fans are mad.

“s-Shawn,” I pant, closing my eyes and turning my head on the pillow, “go, go faster.”

“you sure?” he asks me.

I turn and face him, looking him into the eyes and nod. “please.”

he leans down and kisses my lips. as he pulls back he starts to pick up the pace to his rhythm. the bed squeaks a bit faster and the headboard bangs a bit louder against the wall.

I place my hands on his shoulder and dig my nails back into his skin and slightly scratch him. Shawn brings a hand in between my thighs and he rubs my clitoris with his thumb.

“Joey,” he moans as he rests his head in the crook of my neck. “oh, Joey.” my name pours out of his mouth like sweet honey.

with his other hand, Shawn gets a small fistful of my hair and tugs ever so slightly at my hair. I moan and arch my body into his. Shawn takes advantage of my arch and let’s go of my hair and places his hand at my lower back. I wrap my right leg around his waist to help keep my body closer to his.

“Shawn, oh, Shawn,” I pant over and over.

he grunts with each thrust he gives me. I tug at the back of his hair and bite down on his bottom lip.

he kisses down to my neck and then at my breast valley. I flutter my eyes shut and take in the moment.

his thumb circles my clit. his thrusts send me more and more over edge. his lips send my body tingles. I bite down on my lip to muffle a moan.

“Shawn,” my voice cracks.
“I’m almost there, baby,” Shawn replies, “almost there.”

I wrap my arms around him, moaning his name over and over and Shawn slows down the pace. he wraps his arms around my small back and our bodies are close together.

with a few more strokes, I moan louder and my voice gets raspier as I orgasm underneath him. as I come down from my high, Shawn orgasms. sweat lines his forehead as he pulls out and collapses against my body. my chest heaves up and down and my throat feels dry.

we lie there; his head on my chest and my arms around his body.

“I have an idea.” Shawn says.
“what is it?” I ask him.

he reaches over the bedside table to grab his phone. once he has it, he unlocks it and goes to his camera. “smile.”

I cover my face with my hands as he snaps the photo. after hearing the camera shutter I look at Shawn. he rolls onto his side of the bed and I bring the sheets over my chest. he types away at his phone before smiling and putting it on the bedside.


“what did you do?”
“I posted a picture of us, post-sex.” he nonchalantly says.

“why?” I ask.
“so that way everyone can shut up.”

- - -

sorry if this was terrible, I have fallen back into a terrible writers block. so, Joey, sorry if this sucks :/

SPOOKY MORMON. okay so i never made this post here ! ha, rip. i feel bad now, but we’re gonna turn that off and i’m gonna just talk for a minute to explain something: duplicates give me anxiety ! yes, i do appreciate you for loving and supporting arnold too ! he’s a good boy who makes a lot of mistakes ! thank you for loving him ! i won’t be following because i already having p bad insecurity about my portrayals and also i’ve had p bad experiences with duplicates in the past that have gotten to be really bad ! it’s nothing against you, if you have any other blogs, i would love to write with you ! i hope you understand !

anonymous asked:

I care sooo deeply for this girl I like. She's so mean yet so sweet and she's been through a lot and I wanna make her feel better. She has all these self esteem issues and I wanna tell her she's one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. She calls me pretty all the time and I wanna tell her she is too but for some reason I choke up every time I start to. It makes me so sad when I think of her because I don't want her to ever be sad again, but I just don't know how to make her feel better.

Aw, this is so sweet but okay. My advice is that 1) you said she had self esteem so it’s in her best interest to help herself and love herself unconditionally, we all have insecurities and she should know that everybody is beautiful in their own way 💛 2) being there for her should help, you should tell her something sweet that you like about her every now and then. we all like to be reminded of why we are special, just tell her the littlest things that make you happy about her. she would definitely appreciate that and maybe it’ll help her own self esteem slowly.

hellyeahtitans67  asked:

Meta on the episodes "Sisters" vs "Masks"?

Both very quality episodes with excellent Rob/Star interaction! :)

“Sisters” is the very first big ‘shippy’ episode with them, and it does not disappoint, quickly demonstrating just how comfortable the two of them are with each other, that they can confide in each other, and how much concern and worry Robin has for Starfire’s physical and emotional welfare.

I’m especially tickled by the first part, I mean, we basically drop in on them on a date.  Alone, together, at a carnival, riding a Ferris wheel, while eating cotton candy and watching fireworks.

And Robin is completely cool about it.  Granted, it’s early on in their relationship so Robin hasn’t quite realized his unconscious feelings yet (and there’s no Cyborg, Beast Boy, or Raven around to point out the implications XD), so he isn’t as self-conscious as he becomes about her later.  But it still speaks as to how casually comfortable he is with her.

She with him too, feeling safe enough with him to confess that the fireworks kind of remind her of the explosions of a Gordanian attack.  Robin is quick to reassure her that nothing of the sort is happening, she’s safe, with friends, having fun.

I love the look she gives him when she says, “Earth is full of amazing things too.”  She’s seeing him happy and at ease and she just has so much love in her eyes for him.

She literally has Shiny Anime Eyes for a few moments.

Anyway, then the plot kicks off and Blackfire shows up and I find it hilarious how the same fandom that gives Starfire endless grief for being jealous of Kitten in “Date With Destiny” blithely overlooks that she was jealous around Blackfire too and was much less dramatic about it.

Two things are basically different in that situation:

1. She knows Blackfire, and has at least a semi-friendly relationship with her.

2. Robin seemed to show signs of liking Blackfire back.

Absent the presence of blackmail with someone Robin clearly dislikes, Starfire’s jealousy is much subtler and she mostly keeps it to herself.

Robin, however, can’t fail to miss that something’s bothering her.  And she can’t keep her fears and insecurities from him.  And he does what he does and tries to encourage her.

And he looks so annoyed when Blackfire interrupts them.

“Excuse me, I was having a heartfelt conversation with my love interest here.”

He spends the rest of the episode just so super concerned about her.  “I have to get back up to the roof to make sure Starfire’s okay.”  “I don’t want Starfire to just leave without any warning.”  “I’m not gonna let some weird alien creeps take Starfire away.”  “I need to check up on her to see how she’s feeling.”

All culminating in the beautifully animated scene on the rooftop where Starfire confesses exactly what she was worried about, that everyone liked Blackfire so much better than her, and Robin smiles and reassures her, “No one could ever take your place.”

I melt every single time at that smile.  He loves her.  So much.

And then “Masks” asfhlahfkakfsh.

Confession: “Masks” is the episode that sunk me deep for Robin/Starfire.  We had our cute fluff and funtiems in the beginning of the season and now it’s time to get SERIOUS and MATURE. :)

“Masks” is the episode that demonstrates that Starfire’s feelings for Robin are not just blind adoration; she can tell when he’s struggling and behaving poorly, when he’s doing things that are detrimental to himself and his relationship with the rest of the team.  It’s when Starfire stands up for her own opinions against Robin and goes, “No babe, no.  Don’t do that.  I don’t like it.”  But she also accepts that she can’t control him, can’t make his decisions for him, can only let him know her concerns and then step back and watch him fly or fall from there.

Speaking of falling, I’ve mentioned it before, but it is still so awesome to me that the very reason Robin cites for working so hard to catch Slade is because Starfire almost got hurt.

By almost falling to her death.

Again, the boy is a bit touchy about that happening to the people he loves.

“Masks” is the episode that proves to me that Robin and Starfire have a deeper, more mature relationship than just shallow affection or puppy love.  It’s all about Starfire seeing Robin at his worst, but still believing in his best.  (And defending him to the other Titans as a result.)

The whole episode is basically just her standing off to the side while he obsesses and deceives them with this look of gentle disappointment and, “I know you’re better than this.”

And boy does it affect him, disappointing her.  He never pulls anything like the Red X con ever ever again.

This animator emphasis on Starfire in the flashback from “X” tells you everything.

In conclusion: The two episodes showcase different important aspects of Robin and Starfire’s relationship very well and very nicely.

anonymous asked:

im the anon that hasnt had sex with her gf in months, my gf used to have a high sex drive but ever since i moved in with her, it's like it's gone. i feel like it's me or my body or something. we are both insecure with our bodies and also get hella lazy about shaving but dont like going down on each other without shaving. there are reasons behind it, but i miss it and i dont want to try to push it on her if she seems like she doesnt want it.

lots of things can effect a person’s sex drive. check in with her mentally and make sure everything is okay. don’t make her feel bad for it, try and discuss with her what’s going on and if there’s anything you can do to help her. it may be something a lot deeper than sex.

I Will Wait - Chapter 13

Chapter 12

DAY 58 

He stares at his morning coffee, now cold. His mind replays her words over and over again “  I want you to have the love that you deserve - epic in every way… ”. There was a time when he thought what he had with Elena was epic. Now when he looks back at their time together, all he sees is him trying too hard to hold on to something that was built to fall apart. What is ‘epic’ anyway? Is it the love that bloomed when you were the best version of yourself, or is it the one that breathed life back into you when you were broken beyond repair?

His musings are disrupted by Damon walking into the kitchen. “So… Lucy Bennett is in town..” he said helping himself to a cup of coffee. “She and a truck load of books…”

Stefan raises his eyebrows at that. “Books?”

“Yeah to figure out what the mystery box is… you know .. the one you saw in your ex-lover’s head?”


“So drink up” he said walking back to his room, “We need to go, lotta books to cover..”

He had completely forgotten about the Heretics looming over their heads, waiting to strike. He abandons his coffee and heads back up to his room to take a quick shower.

… . .       … .      … . .        … . .       … . .     … . .       … . .    … . .       .

Falling in love with you is the best thing to happen to me and I am not letting you go”… His words echo in her sleep deprived mind. There is a part of her that wants to embrace his words and let go of the fear. But then there is the control freak in her voicing the concerns that has plagued her for quite some time now. What if its not love… and it fades away, only to leave her un utter disarray. She thinks back to her decision to flip her humanity switch and the circumstances that led her to make such an utterly devastating choice. Is it worth the risk to loose herself again? That’s the question that plagues her consciousness. She is oblivious to the two women chatting away in close quarter. Lucy had come over the previous night. Bonnie and her cousin never really had much time to bond earlier, but now they got along like a house on fire. Normally this would be the ideal environment for Caroline to thrive in, but not today. Today she is conflicted and lost. Her mind pulling her in one direction, while her heart yearns for her to take the opposite route. 

“CAROLINE !” She is interrupted by Bonnie banging her hand on the kitchen counter to grab her attention.

“Hey” Caroline says, trying to focus on what is happening around her.

Bonnie hands her a few books. “Your share of reading material. You know what to look for !” She says walking away to her the couch where she has left the book she is currently leafing through. Caroline grabs the books and heads to her room, forcing her mind not to dwell on Stefan.

… . .       … .     … . .        … . .       … . .     … . .       … . .    … . .

“Hey” Stefan addresses the two Bennetts as he enters the apartment.

“Hi, Stefan ! Good to see you again !” Lucy replies.  “I’m so sorry about Elena, I heard she passed…” She adds sympathetically.

“Yeah.. Damon has been having a rough go at it without Elena..” Stefan replies

“Damon?” Lucy looks confused.. “Weren’t you and Elena together?”

“oh yeah.. umm.. we broke up a long time ago.. we parted as friends…” He says clearing the air.

“Oh..” Lucy tries to wrap her head around this new information.

“This isin’t awkward at all” Damon says sarcastically making his entrance. 

“I’m gonna go..” Stefan said pointing to Caroline’s room.

Caroline is lying on her stomach, book propped up on a pillow, her mind clearly elsewhere. Currently it is on the almost kiss he shared with Stefan the previous night and his words.

“Hey” she hears him from the doorway.

She turns around to look at him. There he is leaning against the hinges,  hands in his pocket with that dreamy smile lighting up his face.  “Hey” she smiles as she greets him.  She watches as he plops on the bed next to her, leaning against the pillows and placing his legs on the bed (after taking his boots off, he knows her enough not to place dirty boots on her bed).  She hands him a book to go through and shifts her attention to the book she is open in front of her, forcing her mind not reflect on the way he held her face and whispered into her mouth the previous night.

… . .              … . .                     … . .                      … . .                    … . .

Caroline finally refocuses on the research material at hand. After flipping through several books with no leads on what the curious box with the crystals could be, one book in particular grabs her attention. Curses. It contains descriptions of various curses and Caroline in rapt concentration digs in. Maybe there is something in here to help Elena. Or at the very least, tell her more about what the Heretics could possibly do with their powers.

As she continues to devour the information on the ancient pages, Stefan inches closer to her. He slowly moves his face close to her ear “Found something?” he asks, his voice childish and playful. It startles her making her eyes wide and expression animated. She turns to Stefan to see him chuckling at her reaction. She swats him disapprovingly. He slides his body closer to her, his head covering the book she is reading, positioning himself in such a way that her face is just hovering about his. He has a mischievous gleam in his eyes, as he waits for her to answer his question. “No” She says, trying hard not to lose herself in the lush green staring right at her. “I got caught up reading up on curses.. did you know there are like 10 different kinds of curses and it can be inflicted upon individuals as well as groups of people..” She starts rambling only to catch the look on Stefan’s face. Her words hitch in her throat as she sees him looking at her with complete adoration. Her heart begins to race. Has he always looked at her like this? She wants to break eye contact, but fails miserably.

Stefan’s mouth curves into a flirtatious grin. “Nerd !” He teases, brushing her hair beneath her ear.

That gets Caroline animated again. “I am NOT a nerd.. pfft.. I.. I’m being thorough” She says clearly flustered.

“That’s what all closet-nerds say” He says nudging her with his knee, clearly enjoying Caroline’s reaction. Caroline studies his grin and realizes that he’s teasing.

“Shut up” she says, trying not to give in. “Its cute” He replies with a dorky grin on his face, looking up at her like she is his whole world.

“Yeah well..” Caroline starts trying to regain her composure, “You’re a dork!”.

“I’m a what?” Stefan asks eyebrows raised. That gets him to stop teasing her. The competitive streak in her rejoices at her little victory. She smiles back smugly. “I am not a dork” Stefan says defensively.

“Tell that to your face..” She says confidently.

“Mean !” he accuses her giving her sides a light squeeze. 

“I didn’t say I din’t like it..” She flirts despite herself. That causes him to smile again, the dreamy one that makes her weak in the knees and sends her heart fluttering out of her chest. “There it is..” She whispers. His hands are still on her side, he moves it slowly to her back. She finds her control slipping away from her as she moves closer to him, her lips almost touching his. The voices in her head that spoke of sanity and control are completely silenced by the thumping of her heart. She’s not sure who kissed who, but she loves the taste of his lips on hers and the way he is kissing her - confidently, without holding back, like she is his to kiss. Before she knows it, she is on her back, her head cradled in his arm, his other hand entangled in her hair. She lets out a deep breath as he pulls away from her mouth. Her heart is still racing. But so is his.

He moves his hand from her hair slowly, tracing her hands and finally resting it on her waist. She looks up at him, he looks happy, yet reflective. What is he thinking? she asks herself, nervous that he doesn’t quite feel the way she does right now. The control freak in her wakes up, quieting her heart and reminding her that he has kissed her before, only to back down.

“I didn’t want to lose you… and lose myself in the process” he says finally. It confuses her. “You were the only person who managed to.. make me feel okay when my world was falling apart … and I didn’t want to lose you.”

She doesn’t say anything. She lets him continue. She sees him swallow. She realizes that he is nervous, his eyes betray an underlying insecurity that she has not glimpsed in them before. “How was I supposed to hold on someone like you, when my best has never been good enough before ?” He admits.

She sighs and shakes her head. He was nervous about losing her? All the time she spent wondering why he hesitated, never once did she think he was insecure as well. “What made you change your mind?” She wonders out loud.

“You… being you” he said giving her a small smile, his eyes looking at her with love.. “I realized that if anyone is worth the risk of losing myself.. its you” He says confidently. She doesn’t know what to say to that. He moves in to kiss her again. She doesn’t stop him. He kisses her softly, she kisses him back tenderly and opens her eyes as he pulls away slowly. 


“Right” Stefan says, both of them go back to their respective books, a small smile playing on Caroline’s lips. She’s giddy with Stefan’s latest revelation. She starts to hope again, maybe he does love her.. Maybe this does not have to end in tears and devastation.

“Hey, we are gonna go get some take out, coming?” Bonnie appears at the doorway to Caroline’s bedroom, uncharacteristically cheerful.

“Nope. Go ahead” Stefan says, clearly not interested.

“Have fun” Caroline tells her friend suppressing a yawn. She buries her head into the mattress as Bonnie leaves. She’s still tired from getting almost no sleep the previous night. She feels Stefan’s eyes on her and turns her face towards him. “Coffee?” He asks. She groans a yes and they both get up and head to the kitchen.

Caroline watches as Stefan promptly heads to the coffee machine. She leans forward with both elbows on the kitchen island and smiles at the sight of him making his way through the kitchen like he lives there. He places a mug of hot freshly brewed coffee before her, flashing her his lopsided grin that she adores, “there you go”. 

“Thanks” She takes her coffee and heads to the couch, closely followed by Stefan. She settles herself down on the couch, leaning on the armrest with both legs folded on the couch, relishing in the much needed caffeine boost.

“So Bonnie and Lucy look like they are getting along” Stefan comments as he places his cup on the coffee table . She smiles. “yeah.. like long lost friends.. or in this case family..”  She takes a sip.  “Its really great that Bonnie and Lucy got the chance to bond..” Caroline says almost like an afterthought. “I mean.. her mom has been absent most of her life and after her grams died.. she’s not really had any family you know..”

“Absentee mothers.. “ Stefan says rolling his eyes.. “Not the easiest to deal with..”

Caroline eyes him carefully. Must be hard for him to have his mother at such close quarters yet not be able to reach out to her and have her in his life, she figures.

“How are you doing with that ?” Caroline asks. “Lily I mean..”

She watches as his eyes take on a different tone. Its reflective with a streak of sorrow in them. “There is a part of me that feels that deep down she is still the mother who raised me” Stefan admits.

“But?” Caroline says feeling there’s more to Stefan’s thoughts on the matter.

“But… she chose to be the person that she is right now .. and I don’t think I can do much to change that” He says.

“I’m sorry .. about your mom . . ” She says. “Me too..” he says regretfully. She watches as he stares into his coffee mug, still contemplative. She figures he doesn’t want to talk about it any more. So she doesn’t push him and goes back to enjoying her cup of Joe.

“Caroline?” She hears him call her, softly, hesitantly. She looks to him, she feels his hand on hers, his fingers intertwined with hers, holding her tight. She gives his hand a slight squeeze encouraging him to speak his mind. “I should have saved your mom’s letter” he says remorsefully, staring into her eyes like a lost child. “Stefan…” She says shaking her head softly and placing her cup of coffee on the table.

“ I panicked.. and…”

“Stefan..that’s on me…” She says firmly cutting him off. The last thing she wants is for him to feel guilty about something that was entirely her fault. “You were just trying to get me to turn my humanity back on…” 

Her mind drifts to the memory Stefan shared.  She fights back the tears that threaten to engulf her blue eyes. “She wanted it to be perfect… and I.. burnt it”  She says shaking her head. “Now I’ll never know what she wanted to say to me… serves me right for turning my humanity off” She remarks looking away from Stefan. She feels his eyes on him. But she can’t bear to look at them right now. 

“I think . . her wanting it to be perfect is more a . .reflection of you than anything else… “ She looks up at those words and searches his eyes as he continues, “ she knew that you deserved nothing less” He says smiling slightly. He moves closer to her. She doesn’t take her eyes off him. He looks contemplative.“I think . . “ He says, shifting his gaze back onto her as he thinks out loud . . “she would have wanted you to know that she was proud of you..that she she loved you .. and that you enriched her life..” She feels his hand on her cheek, wiping away the tear that refused to be contained. She watches as his face reflects her own grief. He pulls her in, embraces her tightly and plants a long, loving kiss on her cheek as she buries her forehead in his shoulders. She shifts her head sideways to look up at him. His face only inches away from hers, his gaze never leaving her.

“Guys?” She hears Bonnie open the front door and address them. They don’t look over to her. She breaks free of his hold slowly. “You ok Care?” Bonnie asks. “mmhmmm” She nods. “I’m gonna go in..” Caroline says grabbing her coffee and heading to her room.

She enters the room, leaves her coffee on the bed side table and lies face down on the bed, trying to compose herself.

She hears him settle himself right next to her.  She looks to the side to see him lying on his back, looking right at her, concern written all over his face. “You really think my mom..” She pauses to steady her breath, only to have Stefan cut her off. “I do..” He reassures her.

Her eyes fill up again. There is no one in the world right now who’s opinion she values more than Stefan’s, and his thoughts on the possible contents of the letter means the world to her. She wants to thank him, but its as though her grief has lodged itself in her throat, silencing her words. He tugs her towards him and she moves to place her head on his chest, and lets him comfort her.

“Stefan?” He hears Damon walking up to the room. “Is this the box?” He says as he enters the room. Stefan carefully moves Caroline back on the bed making sure he doesn’t wake her and pulls the covers over her. He grabs the book Damon is holding out and motions him to follow him out of the room. 

“No.. this isint it” He says studying the picture and its description. “Keep looking” He turns towards Lucy, “Is there any spell that you know of that can restore something that has been burned..” Lucy looks at him suspiciously.

“A letter to be exact, I have the ashes.. is there anyway you can restore it?” Stefan asks.

“You have the ashes? Does Caroline know?” Bonnie interrupts them.

“No.. I.. didn’t want to get her hopes up..” He says looking back at Lucy for answers.

“I’m sorry Stefan. Fire destroys completely. Magic cannot bring back the letter..”. She says softly.

Caroline’s peaceful slumber is disrupted by Bonnie jumping onto her bed and begging her to wake up.  She opens her eyes and searches for Stefan. He’s standing by the hallway, jacket in hand, ready to leave. She tries to wrap her head around what is happening in her room.

“Girl’s night?” Bonnie asks, she has a twinkle in her eyes that Caroline never thought she would see again. “What about research?” She asks still groggy. “The books ain’t going anywhere honey” Lucy replies, clearly bored of all the books she has had to go through. Caroline looks over at Bonnie, seeing her happy and cheerful, Caroline decides to go with whatever plan the Bennett cousins have cooked up. Stefan smiles “Enjoy your night” he says and leaves.

“So … Music?” Caroline asks getting into the mood of girls night.

… . .               … . .              … . .             … . .             … . .         … . .

After dancing to every track they had, the girls decided to head to the kitchen for ice-cream. Normally a bottle of Bourbon would have been opened, but they still have research to do the next day and a hangover is not the best way to go through ancient, cryptic books.

“So can I say.. You and Stefan look really cute together” Lucy says stuffing her face with ice-cream. Caroline almost chokes on her ice-cream, while Bonnie laughs at her reaction.

“Well technically they are not together” Bonnie corrects her cousin.

“Could have fooled me” Lucy replies, “What’s the hold-up girl-friend? From what I’ve heard from Katherine, the guy is a catch” She teases.

“its.. very complicated..” Caroline finally manages to say.

“But you guys were kissing today..” Lucy pressed on with no care in the world.

“mmhmm” Caroline hums through the spoon in her mouth. Lucy still looks confused.. “We are getting there..” Caroline finally tells her. Bonnie smiles at that.

“You know.. you girls should come spend some time with me during your breaks.” Lucy says out of the blue. “It’ll be fun..” She gestures to the living area strewn with books and says, “I think you girls could .. Benefit with some old fashioned fun in your lives”

Bonnie chuckles. “yeah.. that would be great”

Caroline looks over at Bonnie. It’s been a while since Bonnie looked this happy.

DAY 59

“Where do you think you’re going?” Damon asks Stefan.

“Don’t we have a lot of books to get through?” Stefan asks right back.

“Oh we do, we do. I brought some of the books back with me.. Bonnie’s apartment was getting a little.. crowded..” he says sarcastically.

Stefan tries to hide his disappointment as he heads to the library where Ric is already going through books trying to figure out what the crystals are.

… . .             … . .           … . .               … . .          … . .         … . .      … . .

“I think I found something you guys !” Bonnie says to the two ladies. Lucy and Caroline huddle around the page she is perusing. “Creation Crystals, that’s what they are..”

“What do they create exactly?”

“Prison worlds…” Bonnie says in a sombre note.. “They create prison worlds..”

… . .             … . .           … . .               … . .          … . .         … . .      … . .

“Wait I thought that’s what the ascendant did” Damon’s voice drifts through the cell phone.

“No.. the ascendant is to travel between worlds.. Creation Crystals – create the world and trap the people for whom the world is created” Bonnie explains patiently.

“So the Gemini wants to put the Bennetts in a prison world ? Is that it?” Stefan chimes in.

“Looks like it..” Lucy says gravely. “All the ascendants are destroyed.. if the Heretics trap us in a prison world now.. “

“We will be stuck in there forever” Bonnie says her eyes wide.

“Well we are not going to let that happen” Caroline reassures her friend. “ We are going to find these Creation Crystals before the Heretics do” Caroline says confidently.

“I’ll ask around the coven if anyone has heard anything about this..” Lucy says standing up and reaching for her phone. Bonnie and Caroline share a worried look. “It’s going to be OK Bonnie..” Caroline says confidently.

… . .             … . .           … . .               … . .          … . .         … . .      … . .

Stefan grabs his jacket and heads towards the front door.

“Off to see Caroline?” Alaric wonders out loud.

“mmhmm” He says with a smile.

“So that’s.. going well?” He enquires

“Yeah.. it is…” Stefan answers with a grin.

He opens the front door to see a man about to ring his door bell. “Can I help you?” Stefan asks him. He is not used to strange visitors. Perhaps the man is lost he figures.

“Are you Stefan Salvatore?” The man enquires.

“Yes, why?” Stefan asks, his brows furrowed with curiosity.

… . .             … . .           … . .               … . .          … . .         … . .      … .

Caroline and Bonnie wait on Lucy to finish what feels like her millionth phone call. Somebody should know something is Lucy’s pitch. Bonnie is however sceptical. A dark cloud hangs over her as she watches her cousin try and fail to get more information about the whereabouts of the Creation Crystals.

“Hey” Comes a familiar voice from behind her.

“Stefan” She wasn’t expecting to see him right now. He looks serious. There is no dorky smile or any smile at all. “Can I talk to you” He says softly. “yeah..” Caroline replies.. his demeanour making her nervous. He gestures to the room. Caroline enters the room and Stefan shuts the door behind him. He takes a deep breath. “What’s going on?” Caroline asks him. “Steven came to see me right now..” Stefan starts off. “Steven?.. my dad’s old boy friend Steven?Why?” Caroline asks utterly confused.

“He was not in town past few months… “ He sighs.. “Long story short - he wanted me to give you this.”Stefan says, handing her the object in his hand.

Caroline’s eyes widen at the sight of it. “How.. how.. is this even possible…”

“She mailed Steven a back up.. just in case..” Stefan says taking her free hand and squeezing it. He tries to read her expression. She is overwhelmed now that she has in her hand, what she’s wanted ever since she flipped her humanity switch back on – her mother last words to her. The letter she had burnt in an attempt to keep her humanity at bay.

“What if.. what if..” She begins, tears streaming down her face.

“It’s OK..” he says reassuringly giving her a hug, trying to calm her down. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No… stay please.” She begs. He nods. She sits on the bed staring at the letter. After what she did after her mother passed, she’s worried she is nothing but a disappointment. She feels Stefan hugging her from behind and stroking her arms. She turns back to look at him. He sees the fear in her tear filled eyes. He takes the envelop from her and gently opens it, and hands over the letter to her. He nods slightly, encouraging her to read it. Her eyes finally fall on the letter.

Hi Baby,

Would you believe that I have thrown away 9 versions of this letter? Maybe this 10th one will be as close to perfect as a letter possibly can be. Turns out it is excruciatingly difficult to pen down parting words to a daughter that has never failed to awe me. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that no number of words will adequately describe how much I love you. I could write several volumes of books and it will still not hold all the words I have for you, that’s how extraordinary you are.

Of all the things I have achieved in my life, you Caroline, are my greatest pride and joy; and there is a comfort in knowing that you will live on forever and experience all that this world has to offer.

I know all you ever wanted was for me and your dad to be proud of you. Truth is, everything I’ve ever attempted since you came into this world, was to make you proud. I saw your will and tenacity and it inspired me to attempt things I would have never otherwise thought I could do. I saw your positivity and it gave me hope even in my darkest hour. Even as a child, you never failed to amaze me with your light. Language hasn’t caught up to describing how proud I am to call you my daughter.

If I could ask you for anything it would be that you hold on to everything that makes you - you. And if ever you feel things are too hard, remember that I am always rooting for you, wherever I am.

If I could give you advice that will hold true for an eternity, it would be to forgive yourself of your shortcomings. I know the perfectionist in you will chastise you every time you stumble. Truth is honey, no matter how hard you try, you will slip and fall - that’s life. No one is perfect and no one can always do the right thing. Remember that your strength lies not in preventing the fall, but rising up after. Learn from your mistakes, but also learn to let it go.

Your heart is your biggest strength. There is nothing more powerful and uplifting than to be loved by you. So choose who you love wisely. If he doesn’t love all of you, don’t settle. You deserve better than that. And when you do find the one who loves you for all that you are, don’t let fear or insecurity stop you from being loved.

Don’t let my death turn you into something you are not. And if ever you lose your way and can’t remember who you are, let these words guide you to your true self. You are first and foremost, my little girl. My beautiful, kind, passionate daughter with a heart of gold. You’re strong, compassionate and loving. When the people around you lose hope, you hope for them. You love without measure and believe that anything can be overcome. You are brave and loyal, honest and true. There are really very few things you can’t accomplish when you put your mind to it ! So if you feel lost, unable to recollect what you are made of, read this and remind yourself of who you are - extraordinary in every way.

I could write forever and it still wouldn’t be enough. I wish I could be right there with you to hug you at your graduation. I wish I could walk you down the aisle at your wedding. And I wish I could be there for every birthday, every heartache, to wipe away every tear, to celebrate every achievement - big and small,and hold you for as long as you live. But life has other plans. So we will just have to make do with this:

          For your graduation, I want you to celebrate with all your closest friends and know that I am so proud of you. I want you to have the time of your life and revel in your achievement.

         For your wedding, somehow I’ve always pictured white orchids in your bouquet. Fee free to disagree. Just don’t make it fusia pink okay? Also, for your dress, something classic to go with your timeless beauty.

         Remember me fondly when you cut into your birthday cake each year. It is after all my favourite day of the year.

Just live life to the fullest  baby and remain true to who you are. Everything else, will fall into place.

Love Always,


She doesn’t know when he pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. All she know is that she is shaking and he’s holding her. “I can’t..” She says in between sobs. “ I know.. I know..” he whispers into her ear as he lets her weep into his chest.

noxnoctisangelus  asked:

Say Klaus' father Ansel is alive, he and Klaus are working on their relationship and Klaus brings Caroline to meet his father

This one by the amazing @captnklaroline who we’re so stoked to have as a Guest Writer :)

Blossoming Love

Caroline Forbes is a mystery.

One Klaus thinks he might never be able to solve and just when he thinks he has, she goes and proves  him wrong again.

For as long as they’ve been together, he still hasn’t quite gotten her figured out.

They’re lying in bed one night after he’d had a meeting with his father, his arm draped loosely around Caroline’s waist, when she abruptly sits up.

He startles slightly. “What is it, sweetheart?”

She rolls her eyes.

“Are you ever going to introduce us?”

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Almost a callout post

big post under cut talking about unpleasant experiences with a person; (I don’t think this warrants a reveal of ID, as I am a special kind of isolated case, but  I wanted to share this with people not only as a cautionary tale of becoming dependent on others, and being aware of your own health when it’s being risked just to satisfy other necessities, and learn how and when to say Stop. (Also let me know if i screw up somewhere around here, by all means approach me about it I will be sincere and sober about it)


When comparing yourself to others: Leads to EXTREMES!!!@122!! (to the point where you deliberately hurt these others out of spite)   in this case, I am ‘the other’ of this relationship.

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