Problematic Hogwarts House
Okay so speaking of the check please hogwarts house discourse… I voted and all my votes for characters were the ones that literally NO ONE voted for so I present to you…
Bitty - Hufflepuff. He’s a hufflepuff it’s close to the kitchen. A particular good finder
Jack Zimmermann - Ravenclaw. Very good studier and planner. Everyone hates him because he never leaves the study table because he’s absolutely determined to master his class.
Shitty - Hufflepuff. Also Bitty’s self-proclaimed advisor. He watches over him and eats his cookies when he’s stoned and it’s a beautiful symbiotic relationship.
Lardo - Slytherin. She just seemed like the type to make decisions like a Slytherin. She’s just a happy Slytherin who takes care of her fellow Slytherins. Everyone owes her a favor. Basically rules her house.
Ransom - Ravenclaw. I was gonna say that he’s the guy that pulls Jack out of the study, but in all actuality he’s the guy that Jack looks over and sees while Ransom is mid-breakdown and is like “… maybe I should take a break. Maybe he should too…”
Holster - Gryffindor. Super great guy that gets up to a lot of shenanigans. No one wants to be subjected to his pranks they just want to be his friend but it comes at a price.
Chowder - Gryffindor. One of Holster’s friends and also joins in on some of mhis shenanigans. They’re great buds and hang out all the time. Chowder and him were drunk once and kissed but refuse to bring it up again and no one else knows. Just a couple of guys who got drunk. Still great buds though.
Nursey - Slytherin. Reviews Lardo’s papers for her because she helped him out when he was drunk from making dumb decisions and ruining his life or dying. They’re pretty chill together.
Dex - I had no clue what to put him in honestly so I put him in Gryffindor because it matched his aesthetic. Everyone assumes he’s from the Wesley family but then they hear him gripe about coming from the muggle world and know that isn’t true. Everyone then just thinks adoption because he HAS to be a Wesley. No one believes him when he says he isn’t.