she loves to talk in riddles!

Lock and Key (M)

*I am so tired*

Requests: Anon asked “Can you make like a dirty y/n imagine of Jimin please??” + @bangtanofarmys asked “ FUCK FUCK FUCK OMG FINALLY SOMEONE’S REQUEST IS OPEN. Ok I want to request a rough Jimin smut, with daddy kink and stuff BECAUSE IM SO TIRED OF BEING REQUESTED AND NOT REQUEST T-T “ you’re so cute wtf 

Word Count: 10.8k bc I don’t know when to stop


Another mundane day has come to pass, your best friend’s arm slung over your shoulders as you soak up the blinding sunrays on your skin. The sun pressed harsh kisses on your delicate skin, a definite burn accompanied by heavy sweating was just the peak of your day. You could barely remember the words of your professor, zoned out and ready to slump into your couch for two days.

Anthropology was fun when you still had your first year jitters, excited to be in university and getting a degree in something you loved. Now, a few weeks into your second year, you wished the years would just pass by.

Distracted by your internal monologue, you barely caught the bus on time, the driver ready to zoom through traffic and you waved your hand out wildly to catch his attention. You stumbled into a seat, the bus moving no less than a second after you got on.

Mindlessly watching the street signs while numerous people leaving and entering the bus, you get off at the stop near your house. You kick off your shoes, dropping your bag on the shoe rack and you heard a broken sob.

“Mom? Dad?” You went into the kitchen, followed by a set of sniffling before going into the living room. Your father held your mother in a consoling way, her hands clinging onto his red sweater. She grabbed a tissue and blew into it.

“Mom? Why are you crying? What happened?”

Keep reading

Hermione + Anybody = Perfection

Let’s talk about Hermione Granger. How does one create such a perfectly flexible character who can be paired with EVERYONE from the Potter universe? I’m really talking everyone here, from Neville to Harry to basically any and all Hogwarts students, to the Weasleys to the Malfoys to the Death Eaters to the Marauders to the Founders to bloody Lord Voldemort himself (though I’m partial to a young Tom Riddle myself)! She can work with absolutely everybody and make a steamy, romantic AND convincing pairing. All while staying in character. I applaud you, fanfic authors, for creating a world beyond J.K.Rowling’s, where Hermione can find love in the unlikeliest of places. Since I was never a big Romione fan, you have saved me! Kudos to you!

Originally posted by jonathanbyersh

anonymous asked:

Tomione Drunk Dialing???

Getting drunk was never a good idea for Hermione Granger. 

It was a really phenomenally bad idea, but her friends were dirty rotten enablers, so.

They enabled. 

“I mean–” She had to stop talking in the middle of her rant because her wine glass sloshed over the rim of her cup. She stared despondently at the splash of red wine on the ground for a long moment before Ginny leaned over and topped up her glass and she continued, “Who the fuck does he think he is? My–my dad? He’s not my dad.”

“What did he say?” Ginny asked.

“What?” 

“What did he say to you?” Harry cut in. “You never said you just started ranting about his perfect teeth.”

“Ugh,” Hermione groaned emphatically, “He’s never even had braces. I know that because he grew up in an orphanage, so he couldn’t have–”

“Afforded them, yes.” Ron said from where he was lying face down on the loveseat, “You told us already!”

“Oh come on Ron,” Ginny laughed, “Don’t pretend this isn’t hilarious.”

“I like her better sober.” He grumbled into the couch cushions. “Less shrill.”

“Shrill?!” Hermione echoed, shrilly. 

“What did he say?” Harry repeated.

Hermione took a long drink from her wine glass before answering, but even then she didn’t answer the question. “He doesn’t even–I don’t even know why he was there, he’s always fucking right there–”

“Here we go.” Ron muttered. Luna, sitting on the floor in front of him, patted his shoulder reassuringly but otherwise listened closely to Hermione’s ramblings. 

“Like–” She took another gulp of her wine, “I get it, you think you’re smarter and better and prettier and smarter than me–but that doesn’t–like–give you the right to act like it.” She dropped her wine glass. “All the bloody time!”

“What did he say?” Ginny asked again, grabbing another glass.

“I don’t think she’s going to tell us,” Luna interjected, “She needs to get her anger out first.”

“And where does he get off,” She seethed, “Commenting on my dating life. It has nothing to do with him. I don’t comment on his…activities. Does he even date?” 

The door opened in the middle of her rant, distracting her long enough to hold her glass still so Ginny could sneak in another top up as Draco Malfoy walked in with a six-pack of beer. 

“Oh bollocks,” He said as soon as he laid eyes on Hermione. “I’m leaving.”

“No you’re not!” Harry said, waving him over excitedly, “Come watch the show!”

“Did you bring Pansy?” Ron asked lifting his head for the first time in about thirty minutes.

“No.” Draco snapped, “Leave Pansy the fuck alone.”

“Leave me the fuck alone.” Ron snapped back childishly.

“I plan to.” Draco said resolutely, flopping onto the couch beside Harry as Luna shuffled over on the floor to lean against his legs. “Who is it this time?” He asked, nodding in Hermione’s direction.

“Same.” Ginny said, watching as Hermione stared bewildered at her full wine glass. 

“Again?” Draco whined, but before he could get in a good complaint, Hermione was off again.

“What a waste of good looks.” Hermione started, “I mean–you’d think he would be humble because of everything he went through, but instead he’s a total fucking arse–”

“Oo-hoo!” Draco crowed, “Granger uses language, she must really be smashed.” 

“–all the time. And he’s creepy. And obsessed with me. And he’s everywhere like–I was just on a fucking date and he has to show up and start rubbing it in my face how smart he is and how he did better than me on that exam which he only did because Snape hates me and then he’s all, ‘Oh Hermione–’”

“Here we go,” Harry said, nudging Draco in the arm, “This must be what set her off,”

“‘hope you have a lovely date.’ I mean–what the fuck?”

There was an extended silence as Hermione downed what was left in her glass and everyone stared in shocked silence.

“You’re fucking joking.” Ron grumbled into the couch.

“You don’t understand–it was the tone.” She snapped, “You don’t know him like I do–it was–”

“Why can’t you tell him all of this instead of complaining to us?” Malfoy asked. 

Hermione dropped her wine glass again. “Yes.” She said. “Malfoy–” She leaned over to clasp his knee, completely unaware of Malfoy’s appalled expression as she did so. “You are so wise. I approve of yours and Harry’s relationship now.”

“Whoa, okay, uh–” 

“We absolutely are not–”

But Hermione wasn’t listening, instead she was digging through her bag to find her phone.

“Should we stop her?” Luna asked as Hermione angrily brandished her phone and began dialing a number from memory.

“I’m not about to get punched in the face.” Ron grumbled.

“This is hilarious, nobody stop her,” Ginny added excitedly. Hermione slammed the door to the bathroom shut before they hear her start any sort of conversation, and Ginny quickly jumped up and tip-toed to the door to press her ear against it. When no one else moved she impatiently waved them all over. Luna came and sat beside Ginny on the ground to press her ear against the door, followed quickly by Draco and Harry who stood above them and pressed their ears against the door, too.

Ron just groaned from his spot on the loveseat and didn’t move. 

“–Oh, I’m sorry Mr. I’m-so-smart-and-so-handsome-I-could-take-over-the-world-and-enact-mass-genocide-and-the-public-would-thank-me, I didn’t mean to insult your delicate ego–”

Ginny clasped her hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter. 

“–What do you mean where am I? I’m at home.”

“We should be ready to wrestle the phone off of her if she says something embarrassing,” Harry whispered, “So she doesn’t murder us in the morning–”

Draco shushed him.

“Oh–Oh–and where am I supposed to get drunk then? Are you going to dictate to me where I can get drunk now?”

“How is she so articulate, she’s gone through like four bottles of wine.” Ginny muttered.

“Because you kept pouring her more,” Harry pointed out.

“All of you shut up,” Draco hissed.

“You know what–fuck you Tom Riddle. Fuck your stupid perfect hair, and your sanctimonious bullshit, and your holier-than-thou stupid fucking tone of voice, and especially fuck your ridiculous fuck-me voice, you foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach.”

“Jesus Christ.” Ginny murmured, but before anyone could comment further the door sprang open and Ginny wound up sprawled out on the floor from leaning on the door. Luna managed to catch herself, and Draco and Harry both leaped back from the door while Hermione stepped over Ginny and beelined to the alcohol.

“What did he say?” Ginny asked. 

“You sure were sending some mixed signals there, Granger,” Draco commented.

“Shut up you ferret.” She snapped, then continued it a deep voice. Everyone knew who she was attempting to imitate, even if it sounded nothing like him. “Oh, Hermione, are you drinking alone? I hope your date wasn’t that disappointing. Maybe I should come over to be sure you don’t kill yourself.”

“Is Tom coming over?” Luna asked pleasantly.

“Keep that douchebag away from this sacred space!” Ron called from the couch. Hermione flailed her arms in his direction as if to say ‘there you go.’

“Thank you Ron!” She said, “For once in your life, you say something that isn’t horribly ignorant.”

Thanks, you drunk bitch–”

“He doesn’t know where she lives anyway, right?” Harry said, but Hermione ignored him.

“If you’ll excuse me,” She picked up a bottle of wine, “I’m going to go drown myself in my bedroom, goodnight.”

They waited until she shut herself in her room before Ginny said, “She just grabbed the empty bottle of wine.”

“Thank god,” Harry said, “She does not need to drink any more.”

They centered around the table again, instead of round the bathroom door. Hermione remained in her bedroom where she would most likely remain the rest of the night while they carried on in her living room. It usually happened like this when she got angry-drunk, except usually she would just get aggressively drunk and slink off to her room without drunk dialing the bane of her existence. 

At this point, after Hermione went to her room to fall into a dead sleep until she woke up in the morning with a horrible, rage-filed hangover, they would talk until one by one they crashed on the couch or the love seat or the floor, in Luna’s case.

In fact, Ron was already asleep when there came a knock at the door. 

Ginny groaned at the interruption, and Harry lazily pushed Draco toward the door to answer it. 

Draco unlocked and opened the door, blinked twice, then slammed the door shut.

“Tom fucking Riddle is at the door.” He hissed, taking two steps away from the door as if there was a wild animal there.

“What?” Ginny wrinkled her nose.

“Tell him to leave?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Draco snapped, “You tell him that!”

“No, I’m fine where I am, thank you.”

The door clicked open, and Tom walked in.

“Did you not lock the fucking door?” Harry exclaimed, his voice rising an octave.

Tom quietly shut the door behind him, and took a step forward before Draco stepped in front of him. “Hey, you can’t just–” Tom reached out and twisted his hand in Draco’s shirt, turning and pinning him against the door. Harry let out a worried shout along with Ginny, and Ron groaned from where he was trying to sleep on the couch. 

“Where is Hermione?” Tom asked calmly, amicably, as if he wasn’t assaulting Malfoy. 

“Uh–in her room, at the end of the hall.” Draco answered immediately without hesitation.

Draco Malfoy!”

Tom ignored them, and the group–minus Ron, who was still sleeping–watched as Tom went straight to the kitchen. First he opened the cabinet where the glasses were and retrieved one to fill it with water at the sink. Then he moved ot the medicine cabinet and retrieved the aspirin bottle. Draco turned to the group and mouthed the words what the fuck, but no one did anything as Tom moved down the hall to Hermione’s room.

“Oh my god–” Draco started at the same time Harry hissed, “Has he been here before?”

Ginny pointed an accusing finger in Draco’s direction, “You just let him go to Hermione’s room when she’s blind fucking drunk!”

“I didn’t see you doing anything about it!” Malfoy argued.

“He just fucking walked in!” Harry wheezed, “And used the kitchen. What the hell–”

“Shut up,” Ron moaned, pressing his face deeper into the couch cushions. 

As the group was arguing, Luna slowly stood and moved down the hall to Hermione’s room. her door was still cracked open, so it was easy to push it open just a bit to see what was happening in her room. 

Hermione was curled up in her blankets on her bed, but she was awake, sleepily glowering at Tom who was crouched beside her bed. He had placed the water and the aspirin on her bedside table, and now he had his hand resting on the side of her head over her hair, his thumb smoothing along her hairline.

“I didn’t invite you here,” Hermione mumbled, “I’m angry with you.”

“I know.” He said, and Luna didn’t know that Tom Riddle had the capacity for gentleness in his tone until that moment. 

“It wasn’t even a fucking date,” She said quietly. He hummed in response, and after a pause, she added, “I wish I hated you more.”

“No you don’t.” He said, moving his hand to brush her hair back over her shoulder. 

“My friends will find it suspicious that you know where the aspirin is.” Hermione said. 

“Your friends are idiots, so I doubt it.”

“Don’t be an ass.” She told him, but the tone of her voice suggested she was already falling asleep. Tom leaned forward to press a kiss against her bare shoulder, and after a quiet moment–Luna assumed it was after he decided Hermione was alright–he stood.

He turned and saw Luna at the door. Still a little drunk, Luna gave him a thumbs up. He narrowed his eyes and glared at her for a long moment until Luna finally shrugged and moved away from the doorway.

The group was still arguing when she returned.

“I am not going over there, you go over there.” Draco said.

“You’re the one who let him in!” Harry argued.

“Someone go up there and make sure he’s not like taking advantage of her or something!” Ginny exclaimed, but stopped and deflated when she saw Luna, “Oh, Luna went.”

“What?” Draco sneered, turning around from where he was sitting to look at Luna. “Oh–is she good?”

“Yes.” Luna said shortly. 

“What was he doing?” Ginny prodded, “How did he know where the aspirin was?”

“Was he trying to kill her or something–”

“For the last time Harry,” Draco snapped, “He grabbed the aspirin, why would he grab the aspirin if he was planning on killing her.”

“He was fine.” Luna answered vaguely.

The sound of Tom’s footsteps caused the room to go silent. The dark haired man only spared a moment to glare in their direction before continuing toward the door.

“Goodnight, Tom,” Luna called after him. He sent another glower in her direction, then continued out the door and shut it gently behind him.

There was a long moment of silence. 

“You know what?” Draco finally broke the silence, “I don’t fucking care.”

“What?” Harry asked.

“Whatever that was,” He waved in the general direction of the kitchen, “I don’t want to know. If Hermione is boning Riddle I do not want to think about it–”

“Ugh Gross–”

“Malfoy what the fuck–”

“I’m trying to sleep, Jesus christ, shut the fuck up–”

I feel like the “relationship” between Tom Riddle & Ginny isn’t talked about enough. I like to think that Ginny was in love with Tom because of his similarities to Harry, except Tom actually gave her the attention she desperately wanted. It’s part of why I ship Ginny/Harry so wholeheartedly. Ginny is one of the few people close to Harry who understands what it is like to have Voldemort in your mind, influencing what you do. Everyone else, especially Hermione, acts like it’s easy to keep him out.

Strange Magic sentence starter

1. “Wait, is that… the guy?” 

2. “Teaching moment! There are no shortcuts to love.” 

3. “You’ve got a lot of nerve, walking in here.”

4. “I hope you’ve got a strong stomach.” 

5. “I know s/he’s a girl/guy who falls in love with every guy/girl s/he sees, but this is ridiculous.” 

6. “You know, I really enjoyed our fight, but I’ll be taking my sister/brother home now.” 

7. “S/he stays here until I get the potion back.” 

8. “You cheated on me, remember?” 

9. “Do you think _____ loves me as much as I love him/her?”

10. “You got me to leave my castle. Clever girl/boy.”

11. “Man, those goblins work fast.”

12. “You fight well, for a fairy.”

13. “Well, if s/he’s looking for trouble, s/he’s come to the right place.”

14. “Okay, look, you little thing, I’m a guy/girl who usually enjoys a good joke, even at my own expense. But right now, I am not in a ‘ha ha’ frame of mind, I’m in a ‘augh!’ frame of mind.”

15. “You’ll be a stronger ruler with a king/queen at your side.”

16. “I’m stronger alone.”

17. “I promise, if I find a guy out there who takes my hand, looks me in the eye, and I don’t want to hit him, I’ll consider it.”

18. “Believe you me, there can be unforeseen consequences.”

19. “If you think making the potion’s dangerous, wait ‘til you use it.”

20. “Promise to stop talking?”

21. “S/he wants the potion! Loves to spread it around like goblin dung.”

22. “This one’s too feisty. Go get the smaller one.”

23. “Release my sister/brother, you scaly-backed cockroach!” 

24. “I’m a sucker for sweet, pretty singing.” 

25. “Lock this crazy creature in the dungeon.” 

26. “I hate princesses.” 

27. “Oh no, not another princess!” 

28. “Well, at least you’re not singing.” 

29. “The beast has awoken.” 

30. “Don’t you have a comb?” 

31. “I hate riddles.” 

32. “I do believe that is the ugliest creature I have ever seen.” 

33. “She was the most beautiful creature I ever saw.” 

34. “I’m too hideous to love.”

35. “Try thinking of this as an adventure.” 

36. “I wouldn’t follow me if I were you.” 

37. “Deal’s off.” 

38. “I wanted a wedding, and now I’m getting a funeral.” 

39. “What were you thinking? A beast like you, falling for a cutie like ____.” 

40. “My life’s flashing before my eyes! Hey, I used to be hot.” 

41. “Are you… back?” 

42. “Woah! Didn’t mean to sound so cute.”

43. “Cute actually works for you.”  

44. “Please don’t sing.” 

45. “I smell romance.”

Nothing Is As It Seems - Part 1

Request from @avengersrulez1536​: Mad Hatter Jefferson x Reader where the reader is his Alice as well as the Cheshire Cat. So the reader went missing after their daughter Grace was born but she was taken to wonderland where the Queen of Hearts beheads her and turns her into the cat and she can only talk in riddles so when Jefferson and the evil queen comes to wonderland and he gets stuck there the cat tries to tell him that she’s his Alice. So in storybrooke Jefferson comes across the reader and true loves kiss helps her remember. After the kiss and reunite they reminisce and try to find their daughter together and live happy ever after…😊 <3

Note: I have been wanting to do a Jefferson fic for quite some time now so I was really happy to get this request! I love this character so much so this is going to be at least two parts, maybe three depending on how it goes. I put [y/n] rather than the actual name ‘Alice’ so if you would like this changing please just let me know. I hope you all enjoy this! <3

Mad Hatter/Jefferson x Reader

Words: 1,623

Warnings: Mentions of a beheading underneath the cut. That’s the only thing for this chapter.

Disclaimer: None of the GIFs used are mine so all credit goes to their wonderful creators <3

“OFF WITH HER HEAD!”

Your eyes widen in horror at the words the man beside the Queen spoke out for her. This wasn’t how today was supposed to have gone. All you did was come here for some food…..you and your husband had a little girl now, Grace she was called, and you were finding it out to make ends meet. The offer of food had simply been too good to ignore.

“No! Your Majesty I apologise! I was….I was misled by a monster. A monster who led me to believe that the food on that table was for me!”

The male beside the Queen placed a strange looking instrument to his ear, listening to whatever it was she was saying, and after nodding in acknowledgement he turned his attention back onto you with a deadpan expression on his face.

“The Queen says that you willingly stole those tarts that were meant for her, knowing that they were not yours, and that is classed as high treason here in Wonderland. Guards….”

Keep reading

*V route Spoilers for the two people who haven’t been spoiled yet*

I don’t understand why people like the V route normal ending so much???

V in that ending is so unsure of himself and riddled with insecurity. V talked about a concert so he must be writing music. So that means he still hasn’t found the courage to start painting or drawing (Which is what he really wants to do -  What he has always wanted to do) And he’s so afraid that she won’t like his music that he won’t let the MC see what he’s working on. (Because he thinks it will shatter his confidence) 

It’s pretty clear he’s still sensitive about his past relationship and, despite truly loving the MC, behaves cautiously around her. He seems desperate to please her while unconsciously expecting things to go bad like it did with Rika. (Or at least that’s what it seems to me)

Like maybe the Good Ending could have used a little more lovey-dovey stuff but the normal route ending just makes me really uncomfortable. Two years may seem like a long time, but V was in a relationship with Rika for a long time too. He suffered for her and from her for years. 

V needed that time away from the MC and the RFA. To learn how to be an individual and live for himself. To love himself.

Also, I LOVE the fact that in the good ending he started painting on the blank puzzle pieces he collects. It was stated in other routes and places that he liked solving those puzzles but I remember thinking that half the fun of solving a puzzle is seeing the beautiful drawing. So the fact that V is making his own seems really cool to me.

That’s how I feel anyway… 

“I’d like it if you stayed”

Originally posted by evansblogdotcom


Pairing - Edward Nygma X Reader

Wordcount - 2059

Warnings - Mentions of harassment and violence

Author’s Note -  (Y/N) - Your name. (Y/L/N) - Your last name. (Y/E/C) - You eye color

Hey guys, sorry I’ve been absent as of late but I’m back, with this Edward Nygma one shot. This is set in season one before he kills Officer Tom Dougherty.


(Y/N) worked through the stack of papers on her desk. When she went for a job at the GCPD, she imagined she would be helping the people of Gotham, even if she wasn’t on the streets directly fighting crime. But too soon she was faced with the realization it wasn’t what she thought it to be. Being a secretary, she filled cases, typed up reports, organized meetings, made coffee, brought coffee round to everyone. If the extensive daily routine of her work wasn’t enough, the male officers tended to make crude remarks to her or in passing. She didn’t feel like a colleague, she felt like a piece of meat.

There was someone, though. Someone who considered her to be a human being. Edward Nygma.

He was the only person who made her day just a little brighter, with his quirky behavior. He always greeted her with a riddle in exchange for his coffee in his favorite mug. Even though, Edward was odd, (Y/N) couldn’t deny that over the time that they had worked together (Y/N) had developed feelings for the forensic scientist. (Y/N) kept those feelings to herself, in fear that if she revealed them to Edward, she’d lose his companionship. (Y/N) knew that if she lost her friendship with Edward, she’d certainly go mad working for the GCPD was no easy task especially with no friends.


The day had begun like any average day, she had gotten up, dressed and headed to the GCPD. She made her usual rounds handing everyone a cup of steaming mugs of hot tea or coffee to her fellow colleagues, leaving her favorite forensic scientist for last, ignoring the crude comments as she passed. Walking over to Edward’s desk, gently placing his simple white coffee cup with a question mark on his desk, with a grin on her face.

“Good morning Ed. How are you today?” She asked as Ed looked up from the file on his desk.

“Good morning Miss (Y/L/N), I’m very well thank you, yourself?”

“Ed how many times have I told you it’s okay to call me, (Y/N). I’m okay” Edward’s eyes were disbelieving. He knew, she was getting tired of the derogatory comments, the name calling, the dropping of pencils just so (Y/N) had to bend down to pick them up. Now Edward wasn’t blind, he knew how beautiful (Y/N) was, however, she was much more than that to him. He adored how she was the only one in the building who would take time out of her day to talk to him. In addition, she was really good at answering his riddles, this fascinated Edward. But why the other men couldn’t treat her with respect was beyond him. It was infuriating. Edward was getting sick of it. The false smile (Y/N) wore around work as she handed back case files. The only time he saw an authentic smile on (Y/N)’s face was during their morning conversations. He knew what he had to do.

“Okay (Y/N). This is an easy one, what can travel the world while staying in the corner?” (Y/N) began thinking about the answer for a short while before answering.

“It’s a stamp” (Y/N) replied, gaining a smile from Edward. Edward loved how smart she was.

“Correct. If you come by my desk at Lunch, I’ll give you a harder riddle” Edward was doing this on purpose, he wanted to see her smile again. Who was he trying to fool? He wanted an excuse to talk to her more.

“I’ll hold you to that Mr. Nygma” (Y/N) wondered away to continue with her daily workload.


Edward did give (Y/N) another riddle at lunch time. It took some time for (Y/N) to work out, as Edward had remained true to his word, the riddle had been a lot more difficult than the previous one. Edward was shocked when she managed to answer.

Edward had finished his shift at the GCPD, he noticed the group of Police Officers that were particularly disrespectful to (Y/N). The men seemed to be full of laughter and joy. Edward’s anger bubbled beneath the surface like an erupting volcano. How could they be so happy when they constantly made your life a misery? Feeling a sudden burst of confidence, Edward approached the group of men. Aware that (Y/N)’s shift had finished so he needn’t worry about her catching what he was about to do.

“Excuse me, gentlemen, I was wondering if I could have a word concerning Miss (Y/L/N)?” The group of men laughed at Edward. They always laughed. Never talking Edward seriously, but he needed to do this. He wanted to see that genuine smile.

Keep reading

No Weakness In Love

Originally posted by my-harry-potter-generation

@aidairwin asked:

Hellooo!it’s me again I really loved the sherlock imagine thank u! Can i

still request something if ur not busy? Tom riddle smut(no fluff) Like the

only times he felt love was he was with her

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex(WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT GUYS)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

THE GOTHAM VILLAINS AS STUDENT STEREOTYPES

i wasn’t really sure what this was supposed to be so i’m assuming this is a headcanon, but please be clearer in your request next time. and idk if these are even stereotypes man but i kinda had fun with this

Gotham villians as student stereotypes:

  • Barbara is the hot, popular girl that everyone is either in love with or hates completely. She wears heels to school and everyone parts ways for her because they’re intimidated by her. Always looks the most stylish and is usually texting instead of paying attention in class, and a bit on the bitchy side.
  • Fish is also one of the popular girls, but she’s not as bitchy. She’s one of the cool kids that everyone is dying to be friends with, but like Babs, people are intimidated of her. 
  • Oswald is the goth kid who always wears all black and probably weird eyeliner too. He’s always moping around in the hallways or by himself in the cafeteria. 
  • Victor is the weird loner who sits by himself in the corner of the cafeteria. People are always whispering about him or giving him weird looks, since he doesn’t talk to anyone.
  • Jerome is the class clown. Always causing a ruckus in the classroom and no teacher can control him. He’s always pulling pranks on both teachers and students. He seems to have endless amount of his jokes, and just his laugh alone makes others laugh. No class that Jerome is in is going to be dull.
  • Tabitha and Butch are the couple who are always side by side, holding hands in the hallway, passing notes in class, you name it. They’re so in love, if they didn’t make out so much, people would think they’re cute.
  • Ed is such a nerd. Always does his homework on time, asks for extra credit, and is most definitely the kid who’ll remind the teacher of a test or the essay the teacher forgot to collect. He always gets good grades and teachers love him, except for his weird riddles, but he gets bullied often by other kids. 
  • Jervis is a bully, but not in a violent, physical way. He’s always talking about people behind their backs and loves drama. If there isn’t any drama going on, Jervis will probably start it. 
  • Ivy is the sweetheart who everyone either has a crush on or wants to be friends with. She’s friendly to everyone, even people like Victor, not to mention she has an adorable smile. She’s definitely not the smartest, but at least she makes everyone smile.

tags: @purityimagines / @doctorwhoandrory / @bohemian-nygma / @myfriendmagislit

4

This is the second weekend that they have been looking at houses, and this is the sixteenth house they have inspected together. Or the seventeenth. Who knows? All anyone knows is that so far Anita has deemed none of them suitable. Joël prefers it when the houses are empty, like this one; some of the houses they have looked at have still been occupied, which is awkward for everyone concerned, especially that one house they went to look at up in the hills where someone must have just taken an eye-watering dump seconds before they arrived; the entire house reeked, and the bathroom could have been fitted out in pure gold for all they knew, because there was no way they were entering it. Even Brutus was whimpering.

This house, however, has Anita clapping her hands together and dancing on her tip-toes…every room provokes little gasps of delight, and Joël has to admit they are all large and airy and attractively renovated, with no stupid feature walls or shagpile carpet. The view of the city from the upstairs balcony renders Anita nearly speechless- all she can do for several seconds is squeak. And the kitchen, she declares breathlessly, is her dream kitchen. A statement which strikes Joël as being slightly bizarre, as he can’t remember Anita as ever being willing to spend much time in the kitchen, but maybe she was forced to change while she was married to that rotting, stinking, worm-riddled corpse whose name Joël refuses ever to mention, even to himself. 

Jared is talking to the agent.

Jared: Does this house have a swimming pool?
Agent: Um, no. I’m afraid it doesn’t.
Jared: We can’t buy it then. Sorry to have wasted your time. MUM! Can we go? I’m starving.
Agent: Although there is a lovely swingset and slide, and an excellent tree house …would you and your dog like to come with me and have a look?
Jared: A TREE HOUSE??? I mean…hmmmphf. Okay. We’ll have a look. But I can’t promise anything.

MC the little math nerd

I am soooo sorry how long this took to be written. I mean damn, this is a pretty simple request and you don’t even follow me anymore it’s been that long. I still hope that if you read this @celestialqueenofdragons that you enjoy :)


Zen

♬ he is extremely confused by it

♬ then again Zen didn’t get by in life because of his brains…

♬ as long as you don’t expect him to participate, do whatever rocks your boat

♬ then he feels guilty though, because you don’t act but always support him

♬ you find him in the middle of the night, failing to solve one of your math riddles

Yoosung

★ he finds it a little weird

★ anything school related causes him to have freaking flashbacks

★ math is definitely on top of that list

★ then again who is he to judge, having been addicted to LOLOL

★ in fact, sometimes solving Sudokus with you is actually fun!

Jaehee

♨ she’s curious about it

♨ it’s hardly an ordinary hobby to have

♨ she asks you a lot of questions, like where your passion comes from

♨ admittedly, she also likes it because it’s beneficial to her

♨ doing accounting for the Café with you is so much easier and more fun

Jumin

♛ he is immediately intrigued by it

♛ you never cease to impress him

♛ if you weren’t his wife, he would have offered you a job in accounting

♛ instead he opted for nourishing your talent

♛ there wasn’t a single day he didn’t have some riddle or work sheet for you to solve

Saeyoung/Seven

☼ he loves it

☼ you’re just as big a nerd as him

☼ when you talk binary to him it turns him on

☼ once he was mumbling some numbers for his newest robot

☼ you calculated them in your head in second and he almost creamed himself

Saeran

☀ he pokes fun at you for it

☀ that is until you remind him that he literally learned flower language

☀ he never mentions it again

☀ he does silently look over your shoulder while you solve the sheets though

☀ it is kind of cool how quick you are…a little bit

anonymous asked:

Either "Bitch better have my money" or "Zero fucks given. Next please" for the five word prompts.

Pairing: Trimberly

“Bitch better have my money”

read it on AO3


Trini’s sneakers pound against the pavement as she scours the entire school grounds at the end of the day. Her eyes scan the passing areas acutely but fail to yield the results she’s seeking. Fingers fly across her phone’s screen as fast as her feet are carrying her across campus.

Keep reading

just a friendly reminder that the war of jokes and riddles arc is bruce telling selina the story which means he is also telling her all the bad knock knock jokes

Riddled With Love

Ed falls in love with Harvey’s daughter and he gives him a hard time

Requested–Yes

A/n–Again, sorry this took so long

Warning-  None that I can think of…

Rating– Just a fic

Title–Riddled With Love

 

“What has 13 hearts, but no other organs?”

“Damnit Ed, with the riddles.”

“A deck of cards.”

The first interaction with the adorably awkward Ed Nygma had been just as you imagined. Your father, Harvey Bullock, had been complaining about Mr. Nygma for years now. You had seen him around, but never really made contact with him. Harvey liked to keep you separate from his work. But today was an exception. You were now studying to become a forensic scientist. You would be shadowing Ed at the GCPD. This should be interesting.

“Hello Ms. Bullock. You are pretty- I - Uh - I mean you are very - um- very pretty.” Ed said the first day of the job.

“Ed?”

“Yes Detective?”

“Stop flirting with my daughter.”

You blushed and clutched a case file to your chest.

“Thank you Mr. Nygma. That is very kind of you to say.”

You hurried away as Ed stayed back with your dad.

“If you even think about asking my daughter Ed… “Bullock left the threat empty. Ed nodded in understanding. But Ms. Bullock was very pretty. And also very nice. Nothing like her father. That was a pleasant surprise.

A few weeks later, Ed couldn’t help himself any longer. He had fallen for you. Completely. He was going to ask you out. But first he needed permission. From Harvey Bullock himself.

“Detective?”

“What is it Ed?”

“I can be roasted but I’m not a turkey. I can be ground but I’m not pepper.I can be pressed but I’m not a button. I can be brewed but I’m not beer . I’m a bean but I’m not magic.”

“Ed. I just got a new interrogation device.” He held up a bat. “Do not test me.”

“Well, um coffee.”

“Coffee? Ed what the hell are you talking about?”

“I would like…to ask… Ms. Bullock- your daughter- Yn- out to coffee. On a date.”

Harvey looked at Ed with a blank expression. Then he barked out a laugh.”

“Alright Ed. If you think she will say yes, go for it.” Harvey turned around in his chair, still laughing.

Ed scurried off to find you, asking you the same riddle.

“Coffee.” You said with a shy smile.

“Would you like to get some with me? After work?” Ed asked nervously, smoothing down his tie.

“I would love to Ed.” You smiled sweetly at him.

Harvey watched the two of you from across the bullpen. Maybe he gave Ed too much off a hard time. Oh, but it was so much fun.

Okay, one idea I really want is the Straw Hats ending up in the Rise of the Guardians world and they all end up as spirits.

They’re all confused how they end up here, and who knows how long they’re around to influence things, but the very idea of them just existing in that kind of way is hilarious to think about.

Robin (Egypt) – sphynx, a speaker of truth yet is a mystery, talking in riddles and takes great fun in confusing people. Loves knowledge and loves people who loves it too. Shares knowledge to people if she could, loves books. Since there are so many different versions of sphynxes in different cultures and countries, she can pop up in those countries anytime she wants, haha. She never shares how she does it when most spirits can’t, and loves frustrating people by giving them cryptic answers if asked.

Usopp (Africa) – African storyteller like in the stories, tall tales, has a tendency to travel, which is unusual for his kind who is emphatic on tradition. He explores and searches for his crew actively, and on the way, collects stories as he does. Him and Robin actually are the ones who travel around the most (exempting Luffy, who none of the Straw Hats can find cause he can’t stand fucking still damn it Luffy) and keeps everyone updated on each other. Headcanon of mine is that he inspired and helped write the Anderson Fairy tales, LOL.

Zoro (Japan) – a ‘wandering samurai’. In the legends, ghosts of samurais wander in search of a purpose. Hilariously for Zoro, he does it cause he’s genuinely fucking lost, which Sanji finds incredibly amusing.

Nami (Irish) – an Irish witch, which also is hilarious. She mostly ends up in bars or inns, tricking other spirits to pay ludicrous prices or favors when they want gossip or info from her. She and Robin are kind of opposites of each other, with Robin always speaking the truth, yet twists and riddles it out so people would have to be clever enough to solve it themselves. Nami, on the other hand, just lies all the time and people would have to be clever enough to know when she is. However, she never breaks promises or deals. And she’s always lenient to children.

Chopper (Canada) – Bigfoot, which explains A LOT. Though, there are multiple Bigfoots, so he’s just one of the many. Instead, he is a DOCTOR BIGFOOT, which is even weirder and funnier. He’s like, basically that friendly monster you find in a forest that people warn off and is just misunderstood, haha. Whenever children get lost, he leads them back home and heals them if they’re injured.

Franky (American) – He’s an engineer, he embodies inventing and creating. He’s also a fixer upper and an inventor all at once. He inspires people to create new things and is so enthusiastic about all these new immigrants who come into the mixing pot. New ideas in the air! He’s ecstatic about the industrial times and its growth, but absolutely hates the conditions of the people, and rages against people who claim it was ‘progress.’ Bring in the new, sure that’s great. But to kick people down while doing so boils his blood. He and Luffy interact a lot cause America is A Hot Mess of everything, hahaha.

Brook (Austria) – He’s a fucking ghost. A genuine fucking ghost who haunts Austria’s castles and at night, people can hear a violin playing and rowdy songs that don’t fit the setting at all. People see a skeleton at the corner of their eye with a ridiculous afro prancing around the grounds and it’s really freaky. He gossips with other ghosts of old monarchs (I’m headcanoning people with strong influence over the country or has strong personalities end up lingering for a while) and Usopp visits from time to time.

Sanji (France) – he’s a Sea Cook. Kind of a minor sea god who helps sailors sail safely, makes sure to guide them to areas with lots of fish if they get hungry, and spends most of his time in the ships’ kitchens yelling at cooks to add citrus food, nonono what are you doing with that potato you’re skinning it wrong. What about the nutrients?! So basically this grumpy, neatly suited man swearing up a storm and fruitlessly kicking people’s heads when they’re acting like idiots and hovering around like a mother hen. Also, he is absolutely enraged at the old belief that having a woman onboard is bad luck. Fuck you idiots who have no manners do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve seen a woman? Stop fucking ruining this for me!

Luffy (Brazil) – He’s Freedom. Like, that’s it. If the Guardians of Childhood had been looking, they would’ve thought he would be PERFECT for the job, but the Man in the Moon is really, really amused by Luffy’s existence and leaves him be to his own devices. He’s too big even in this world, and he just ends up in countries that need people to rise up, to fight back. He’s in revolutions, protests, wars, cheering people on and fighting with them. He bolsters their strength, makes them laugh in hard times, make them invincible against things that are huge and indomitable looking. He’s just, unchangeable. No matter how bad it is, he keeps smiling.

And just, imagine everyone reacting to them? Like, Ombric meeting Robin and them talking about books and both enthusiastically sharing knowledge with each other, and Robin being all secretive the whole time.

“I want nothing but the truth.” The woman’s voice rang in the room, forthright and honest. With her masks stripped along with her sly words and subtle smiles, she looked powerful. A hungry girl who saw the world in shades of grey, hanging in the backdrop and always watching, observing, waiting.

There’s a finality to her voice, the verdict set with nothing stopping her path. This is her last ditch effort to get him to talk, a method that revealed her heart, her core.

The dark skin, mystery surrounding her like a cloak, clever words with clever answers. A familiar nose that he swore he’s seen missing from great wonders-

“You’re a sphinx!” Ombric exclaimed, shocked.

She laughed, the sound reverberating the room and just as warm as her natural climate.

“I am.” She conceded with a small smile. “I have to be something to people after all.”

Japan is an island, so Sanji ends up visiting Zoro a lot since even though the mosshead has no fucking idea from left to right, always is able to find a shoreline somehow and they constantly butt heads whenever they do.

“Feeding people your shit food? I feel sorry for them.”

“Shut up! At least I’m not called the ‘Wandering Samurai.’ Wandering my ass. More like ‘lost shitface who doesn’t know North from up.’”

“Yeah? And why do people call you Sea Cook? Should’ve been ‘swirlybrow bastard’ or ‘lovesick idiot.’”

Or Chopper the friendly Bigfoot helping lost children, sometimes in his small form to calm them down, and big when he needs to protect them from other predators or monsters. Usopp basically being their network, able to travel around the most and spread the Straw Hats adventures to others, or make up stories of his own. Luffy and Franky adventuring around America cause seriously, there’s so much weird shit going on there.

Nami abso-fucking-lutely delighted that there are maps, there are better tools, better ways to man the sea. And despite what mortals think in this world, the sea is still pretty exciting here though not as much as their old world. What withe the loch ness monster, atlantis, mermaids (Sanji was fucking delighted), and more. Sanji probably knows the sea better than any of them now.

“… Has Usopp found the others yet?”

“Yeah, the haggling witch is screwing people over back in Ireland as usual. And last I saw, Franky was ready to kill this guy building a train or something.”

“I met Chopper.” It had been difficult for the giant spirit to come near the ocean. His place was more inland. Sanji grimaced around his cigarette that looked nothing like what existed during this current time period. It was a mystery where he got his neverending supply, though he thanked every day for it. “He’s helping some kids out. Turns out people are the same no matter where we are.”

Yeah, I would really love to see someone write this.

10

Pitch 1.09 | Part of me wants you to leave for the same reason you want to leave.

requested by @gentlesleaze

vaporfro  asked:

You're still defending the svtfoe comic though! They are fucking minors but no, in your eyes they can draw what the want, even if it counts a pedophilia, nah, they just draw what they want, and it's kinda hard to stop whining when it's obvious I'm not the only one that's sick to their stomachs with this shit, it's disgusting

You’re beggining to split hairs here.

I got involved in this whole thing not as an incest or pedo supporter that’s mad that his content is getting shit on, that’s common for everything to get criticism like that.

I’m involved as an artist that doesn’t like seeing effort and art being downplayed as “pedo shit” or “disgusting kink material”.

I’m pretty tolerant to other’s opinions as long as they either bring up something positive on their side, are well constructed or at least don’t boil down to basically insulting a person.

I’m not supportive of their content, I’m indifferent. Life is not black and white, you’ll see a lot of grey if you want to see things from a neutral point of view.

I stand by artists such as jumpjump or areablog because I’m not defending their content, I’m defending the person.

If you walked past Area in the street you wouldn’t see a caricature of a fat acne-riddled artist with a pen in their ear and a “I love pedo shit” shirt on, you’d see a regular person. That’s the one I’m defending.

The content they produce is not what they are, the way they treat people that talk to them are the real signs of what they are like.

That’s why I stood up for jumpjump instead of that 14 y/o girl that kept annoying him, her blog is filled with hate posts she does whenever she has the chance while his blog is mostly fun reblogs and interactions.

You want me to sit back down and stay in my business, and I want too. But that’s the thing, everyone would have to sit down too, and I know you don’t want that, you wanna fight for what you believe is right. And so do I. So I won’t sit back down and I’ll keep defending the artists for who they are, not what they make. And I would defend you too if someone came and constantly bullied you for, I dunno, for no other reason than liking a certain show or whatever.

Sddm along with others created Wholesome Week. Then other users start to mock it. Who’s the bad guy in this situation, the “pedo” who kept his stuff to his blog or the “good guys” who actively went after him and tried to ruin a nice thing for the fandom?

anonymous asked:

Everyone loves the fact that Hugo is a cheese nerd but everyone seems to forget both Mat and Brian frequent that cheese place too. HCs, go

yesss

  • Mat started going one day a while back when he was too tired to cook after working in the shop all day. He just wanted a little pampering, not realizing there was trivia going on.
  • He was a little shy about participating but Carmensita was really excited to try it out, and it’s kind of hard to have a peaceful meal with it going on around you, so they went for it.
  • Mat, of course, dominates in the music-related categories, with Carmensita covering modern pop culture and an eclectic assortment of other fun facts she picks up from fact-of-the-day apps. As a result, their success rate is kind of hit-or-miss, but that never bothers them much.
  • Mat isn’t really knowledgeable about cheese but Carmensita is getting there, and they both love eating it regardless
  • They also stay for dessert after trivia once a month and just talk. It’s one of their favorite traditions.
  • Brian and Daisy started going almost as soon as they came to the neighborhood, as a way to meet people from around town.
  • It kind of worked. They mostly just intimidated people.
  • But the cheese was awesome and it was a good confidence booster/bonding session, so they kept it up regardless.
  • Daisy has history and geography down pat, which helps immensely in pretty much every game. She also has a knack for things like puzzles, riddles, and word games, which are occasionally thrown in during bonus rounds.
  • Brian has more pragmatic knowledge, plus some references too old for Daisy and too young for history books. He also has some general sports knowledge he’s picked up from nowhere in particular
  • One weekend every month they take a trip to each store they got a gift card from the previous month and get a little trinket, never exceeding the amount of money on the card. They keep these prizes and the near-empty cards in a decorative box. Sometimes pictures of them end up in there, too.
  • Mat and Carmensita pair up with Brian and Daisy after a couple of months when they realize their knowledge bases are basically polar opposites, so teaming up would pretty much make them unstoppable
  • Carmensita named their group, and here they are today, trying to beat Hugo, who occasionally forgets to answer questions because he’s so caught up in his cheese
Blood Puzzles

Reader is taken by someone and Ed has to solve a puzzle to find you.

Requested–Yes

A/n– I am so sorry this is literal garbage.

Warning-  blood?

Rating–Angst

Title–Blood Puzzle

 

Mr. Riddler,

 

The one you love has been taken by me

Find your girl or face defeat

All you have to do is read, soon you’ll see

Surrounded by cold or maybe heat

She won’t last long, so hurry and seek

The place she is hidden, you know it well

Hurry hurry she is growing so weak

So come find the place with souls gone to hell

Opened emptied sewn back up

Soon she will be if you don’t hurry up.

 

Finding this note taped to the steering wheel of his car was the most frightening moment of his life. Immediately he grabbed his cell phone, frantically pushing your contact name while speeding away from his apartment. Everytime he called, it went straight to voicemail. As he approached your apartment, it was clear you were nowhere to be seen. Your car was there, the door slightly ajar and a lamp was knocked over. Ed heart sank. You had been taken. He pulled out the piece of paper and reread the riddle.

“The one you love has been taken by me, find your girl or face defeat. Obviously he’s taken you, my love. If I don’t find you, I will be defeated.” Ed began talking aloud. “All you have to do is read, soon you’ll see, surrounded by cold or maybe heat. Heat. An incinerator? A freezer? I’ll come back to that. She won’t last long, so hurry and seek the place she is hidden, you know it well.. A place I know well. She’s not here or at my apartment. Hurry hurry she is growing so weak. So come find the place with souls gone to hell. Souls gone to hell? Dead people? A graveyard? No I don’t know any graveyards well.Opened emptied sewn back up. Soon she will be if you don’t hurry up. Opened? Emptied? Sewn back up? What could possibly- A morgue! Aha. Dead bodies are opened, emptied and sewn back up. They are cold and I’d know it well.”  

Ed stomped on the brakes, did a highly illegal U turn and sped back towards the GCPD. Ed wondered how a criminal could take his girlfriend into a police precinct unnoticed. Alas it was Gotham after all. Arriving at the GCPD he didn’t care about the consequences. He just needed you back. Running through the doors, it became evident the precinct was empty. Ed shook off how odd this was and raced back towards the Medical Examiner’s room. He burst through the door frantically. And there you were. Strung up on the ceiling with black rope. Your eyes were closed and breathing shallow. There was a patch of blood seeping through your shirt. “Y/n?” Ed whispered, tears in his eyes. Your eyes flew open. “Ed, please help me.” You began to sob. Ed rushed over and began to cut the rope with his pocket knife. When the bindings were undone, you fell into his arms and clutched his collar, afraid to let go.  Ed put pressure on the stab wound. He knew how you hated hospitals. He would have to give you stitches himself.

“Y/n who did this?” He said, looking around the empty room. “Where did they go?”

“I don’t know who it was. I- I didn’t see his face. He… he took me from my apartment. Drugged me. I woke up here. I- Oh Ed I was so scared. He kept talking about you and how you didn’t deserve to be The Riddler. Then he- he stabbed me. He used my blood to write that and left.” You weakly pointed to the wall, where in your blood was written, ‘I’ll be back’.