Love Yourself, Love
Requested Prompt: Can you do an imagine where tom has a gf who has really low self esteem and is really struggling with her confidence, and tom is there to help her realize that self-love is important? (@dropdeadrxses)
Thanks so much for this request! This is something that I’ve struggled with for a long time and have only recently overcome emotionally, but am still battling physically. If anyone ever needs support in any aspect of life, please know you can talk to me.
Warnings: reader struggling with self-esteem, self-loathing, self-depreciation, fluff
The Hollywood Reporter had just leaked photos from the photo shoot Tom did with his Homecoming co-star, Zendaya, and (Y/N) was curled up on Tom’s couch, eyes lingering over how stunning Tom’s new friend looked and mind running with scenarios of things that could have happened ‘behind the scenes.’ (Y/N) hated how easy it was for her to completely discredit herself, but in reality, what did she have to offer Tom or anyone for that matter?
She couldn’t help but notice how Tom’s shirt seemed to have a different number of buttons opened in various photos. Instantly, her mind went to thoughts of him cheating on her. Her chest tightened as she thought about what could have happened between the two of them. She knew that Tom was raised to be a gentleman and certainly distinguished himself from other guys their age, but the thought wouldn’t leave her mind. She was a no body and always would be. her disdain had nothing to do with the fact that Tom was a celebrity and she was a regular Joe, and it had nothing to do with the fact that Zendaya was a celebrity, she just didn’t know how anyone could see anything worth their time in her.
The soft pattering of Tom’s feet sounded as he made his way down the stairs and toward his girlfriend. “Hey, love,” he called out to her, “I was thinking we could go out to dinner tonight with everyone and I can show you off.” (Y/N) rolled onto her back, feeling the tension in her shoulder subside immediately. She clicked the screen of her phone off and dropped it onto the coffee table as Tom lifted her legs to sit beneath them.
“Why?” she asked without intending to.
“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked in return with a smile across his face as he rested his hands on her knee.
“Because you can be with like three models at the same time right now and you’re with me,” she sighed all too quickly.
“Why would you say that?” he asked, his voice ignorant of the emotions running through her head.
“Because it’s true,” she scoffed lightly. “You’re an easy ten and I’m like what, maybe a five on a good day?”
“How could you think you’re a five, (Y/N)?” he asked with a laugh in his voice, still not picking up on the fact that she was growing even more upset.
“Just forget about it,” she sighed while slipping her legs out from under his and making her way toward Tom’s room, which she occasionally stayed in. She dropped onto the bed, pulled the sheets up to her neck, and curled into a ball while lying on her side. it didn’t take long for Tom to make his way back toward his room and close the door behind him.
“What’s the matter, (Y/N)?” he asked while sliding into the bed beside her.
“Can you please just leave me alone?” she muttered.
“Only if you tell me what’s making you so sad,” Tom stated while rubbing his thumb across her shoulder.
“Why are you with me?” she mumbled through the sheets as a small tear slid out of the side of her eye.
“Because I love you,” he said as he moved his fingers through her hair.
“But why do you love me?” she pestered as another tear slid across her nose from the other eye. “What do you see in me that makes you think I’m worth anything? There’s nothing special about me,” her voice started to shake slightly as she continued to admit to him everything that stood between them. “In fact, there are a lot of things about me that you didn’t know about when we first got together. I know my baggage is something that you didn’t sign up for when you met me. Why do you continue to deal with me? How can you be so nice to me when all I’ve been is a burden to you? Here you are, asking to go out and have a great time and all I can think of is why you haven’t dumped me or cheated on me yet.”
Tom’s chest tightened at her words and he flopped onto his left side. He slid his left arm underneath (Y/N)’s head, draped his right over her waist and laced their fingers together. His words were lodged in his throat but he couldn’t bring himself to say them without having his voice crack from sorrow. Tom cleared his throat and traced his thumb along her hand before speaking. “You may not see anything special in yourself, (Y/N), but you’re wrong,” he said softly as the wind created from the ceiling fan brushed her hair across his cheek. “I love that you can make me laugh when I’m having the worst day ever, I love that when you’re scared I feel compelled to make you feel safe in my arms, I love the way your nose crinkles when you laugh. When you walk into a room, I can’t help but ignore everything else and focus on you because there’s a pounding in my heart that makes concentrating on anything else so incredibly difficult.” Slowly, (Y/N) rolled over to face Tom. He pushed away the tears rolling along her face with his thumb and smiled at her. “I love the way you look when you wake up in the morning with a weird mix of bed head and sex hair,” he said while ruffling her hair lightly. “I love how smart you are and how you’re constantly pushing me to be a better person so that I can be a better boyfriend, because I want to be the man that you deserve.” She couldn’t help the tears that overcame her at his words. “And when I asked you to be my girlfriend, I asked that of every part of you, even the one’s I didn’t know about yet.”
The tears streaking (Y/N)’s face were a blend of joy and sadness as Tom pressed his forehead against hers. “You deserve more than I can offer you,” she said with an empty tone in her voice.
“Believe me when I say that you are more than I deserve, (Y/N),” he said as he took her hands in his. “All you need to do is love yourself, love,” he said while pressing his lips against her head. “I will help you through this,” he promised and then placed his lips gently and passionately against hers, “because you don’t deserve to go another day without seeing and apppreciating all of the things about you that make me love you.”