She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile, even if she was sad. No, she wasn’t beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul.
I was on Tumblr today and I came across this quote that said “I see you in colours that don’t even exist yet”; It reminded me of how passionately in love with her I am. How beautiful she is to me.
Something about it wasn’t right to me though, because before I met her I was color blind. I lived in a world that was only black and white, until the night I saw her came, and even though it was dark, my sensors were reprogrammed.
She painted my world with the colours of her soul.
She taught me the colour Red when I saw her lips, the colour Pink when I saw her cheeks, the colour Blue when I miss her at night, and how colourful the colour of her eyes is that God chose to make it the colour of honey too.
I still don’t know if the colours in the quote will ever be discovered, but I discovered the ones that already exist.
to whom loves her next there are a few things you should know.
she doesn’t open up easily or at all. please do not get offended by this. and she may go radio silent for a while but don’t fear she is just lost in her head. she’ll come back to you. she always will. even when you break her heart for the first time, she comes back. and the second time.. she always comes back. she never knows when to stop loving, just like she never knows when to stop over watering plants because she’s so afraid they aren’t getting enough. she also needs constant reassurance so please don’t get annoyed when she wants attention or constant reassurance through out the day. she’s been hurt so many times it’s hard to believe that people could be so cruel to something so beautiful.
she loves to take photographs and she loves to read. she starts reading a book and then she finds another book and starts reading that one cause she’s just so excited and forgets to read the end of the other book so don’t ask why she does that, cause she doesn’t know. she loves animals more than anything so yes that means her two horses, three dogs and chinchilla come first. she’s vegan so make sure you check to see if there’s any milk in the chips or cookies if you buy them for her at the grocery store, which you should. she loves cooking but doesn’t like to clean up the kitchen mess. she HATES dirt. she loves the sky and stars so please make sure you stop to look at sunsets whenever you’re together. she doesn’t talk about her dad but she always wants to. she has a love hate relationship with her mother even though her mother doesn’t know it. child birth scares the crap out of her so she’d rather adopt. she claims she hates kids but once you see her with her little cousin who’s like her little brother the smile she’s wearing when they hug says different. she’s amazing with kids even though she thinks they are annoying. she has big dreams like wanting to end world hunger or becoming an activist. she cries when she see’s animals on the street. also, she’ll bring home animals from the street. she loves her family and friends even though she keeps to herself. she hates stickers and she loves traveling. and when you find her crying into her calms on the bathroom floor at 3 am please do not yell at her and tell her to get over it, instead sit next to her and just hold her hand, she doesn’t want to talk about it. please make sure she takes her medication. in fact stand right there in front of her until she takes it cause if you leave she won’t. she’ll call you an ass and get mad but she’ll love you for it. she loves flowers, especially yellow tulips. she misses her dad everyday. she has a sadness inside her that will never go away so please be there for her even when she pushes you away. her favorite color is blue even though she doesn’t have a favorite color, blue was her dad’s favorite color so when you ask she always says blue. she loves nature and hiking but make sure to make her drink water because she always forget and then feels like shit later on in the day. she hates doing the dishes but doesn’t mind cleaning anything else. she’s an old soul but she has a young spirit and personality at the same time. she has like 10 different laughs and they are all cute but she hates them so please tell her that they are your favorite. please tell her you love her every day because she will say that you don’t. so to the one who loves her next please know she is something so extraordinary that if you lose her you will spend the rest of your life regretting. i know because i am.
jess does not even bat an eyelash when kara steps out of the elevator, and maybe that’s the first sign that things have changed
(jess never disliked her–no, jess just cares about lena, cares in a way kara is eternally thankful for. and kara, reporter kara, could be as much of a threat to lena luthor as any kryptonite-chested henchman. but now– now jess looks up at her, nods, and it feels all the world like success)
she knocks, knowing she doesn’t have to, and walks in before lena can answer. this is lena’s office, lena’s space, but oh, if it doesn’t feel like part of her home
(oh, if lena doesn’t feel like home)
kara has gotten flowers upon flowers upon flowers, in every shade and color and she doesn’t know what to do with all of them, where to put them. she is not used to it, this public sort of praise. she isn’t used to being appreciated as kara, but hasn’t lena always done that? hasn’t lena always seen her as kara first?
seeing her as lena is only returning the favor, kara thinks
lena smiles easily, and kara’s heart ends up somewhere behind her stomach, thumping out an uneven, frantic beat. she can survive without air on this planet but she is increasingly beginning to believe that without that smile, that look, those eyes–she’d be a goner
so, kara says, because she has to say something, has to stop staring at lena and that beautiful magazine cover. my office is overflowing with flowers
when lena feigns confusion, crinkles her brow——kara has never wanted to kiss her more. but then lena is talking: thank you. i have never had a friend like you. i’ve never had family like you.
kara can wave off this praise: it is what friends do. but when lena tilts her head, murmurs, coming into that warehouse, saving me– kara coughs, a choked sound. what?
lena doesn’t answer; instead, she reaches up, gives kara a moment to stop her, stop this. when kara doesn’t move, lena lifts the glasses off of her face, quietly hums in victory
a super and a luthor, lena says again, and kara thinks of that day so many weeks ago, that gala. (she wants to think about lena saving them, saving the day, as she seemed to do so often. she ends up thinking about lena showing up at catco and lena showing up at her apartment and lena, lena lena)
you risked a lot for me, lena says, and kara shakes her head. i’d risk anything for you
there’s a moment, a perfect one, where their bodies still and time feels forgiving rather than forgetful and the world lifts itself off their shoulders
imagine, kara wants to shout. imagine what we could be together, imagine what we could do together, imagine, imagine it—
and then kara’s phone rings
lena stands quickly, suddenly a shadow of her previously confident self; she has learned pride and posture and learned them well, but when kara is involved, she can do nothing but stumble
kara silences her phone and stands, an echo, and the action pulls her closer to lena. they are caught again in this storm, and it thunders louder, and louder, and lena leans in first tugs kara close, arms around shoulders, eyes shut
kara knows she is in for a lecture later back at the deo–you almost died, you shouldn’t have gone, you took too big a risk–but lena is kissing her and every doubt and thought and thing flies straight out of her mind
lena is kissing her. lena is kissing her
she still has her eyes closed for a beat when lena pulls away and giggles: kara– babe, you’re floating a bit
kara crashes back down to the ground and falls even harder