she is one of the most gorgeous human beings in the universe

UPDATED TRUMP DOCTOR LETTER

To Whom It May Concern:

A lot of people have expressed a desire for an update on President Donald J. Trump’s health since his inauguration. I have been the personal physician of President Donald J. Trump since 1980 and I am here to say that Mr. Trump’s health is absolutely better than ever.

Since being sworn in, Donald Trump has lost 50 pounds and gained 17 inches of height. He’s the longest president who has ever lived. His livers are both functioning flawlessly. His blood sets an all-time record for the state of New York for “most” and his blood pressure was rated “excellent” by seven different Fox News Twitter polls. He doesn’t even have one cholesterol.

I can say this unequivocally: Donald Trump has the most bones. Scientists estimate that he now has around 900 bones in his body and more are being discovered every day. Some of those bones have never been seen before. They allow him to be really good at presidential things like signing executive orders and making love nightly to his wife who wants him to.

Mr. Trump’s test results have been astonishingly excellent. He actually has a blood type we’ve never seen before: “All.” It’s both the universal donor and universal recipient, and sprinkling it on your penis makes your penis bigger. Mr. Trump’s blood is gorgeous. It has a rich color that’s hard to describe, but if I had to put it into words, I might call it “red.”

President Donald Trump has no family history of cancer, diabetes, or death. The president’s family members are immortal beings that walk the earth without end, craving the sweet release of death that will never come unless they make a deal with a cool witch. Donald Trump will never die, he will just keep growing vertically forever until he lives in space. It’s really astonishing.

His physical strength is extraordinary. He can lift as much as a mother whose child is trapped under a car, but he’s more attractive than that mother and he hasn’t let himself go like she has. Have you seen the way she dresses lately? The hypothetical mother in this simile is a total chunk. 4 at best. As the famous doctor Hippocrates once said, “Would not hit.”

Since the Inauguration, Mr. Trump has kept an extremely active lifestyle. He starts every morning by walking straight up into the sky and then walking down again. He also visits me regularly for checkups. Mr. Trump doesn’t let me touch him because of gay, so I just eyeball it and give him a once over. I can usually tell just by looking how much blood is in him that day or which liver has taken the lead, so it’s not a super intensive process.

Mr. Trump is not only the healthiest president that has ever served, but also the most handsome. I usually want to kiss President Trump when I see him, but I would never break the doctor-patient trust, so instead I kiss the portrait of him I drew on my little note pad. There have been no presidents that even come close to President Trump in terms of overall health and hotness. Franklin Pierce was pretty hot, but his body wasn’t great. James Garfield was more cute than hot. President Trump is the total package. I know this because of my stethoscope.

Just to give a little more background on me, I’ve been a doctor for years. I got into medicine the same way a lot of doctors do: I once took an unmarked pill that I found under a toilet in a public restroom, and the next thing I knew, I was blacked out doing surgery on a man on a Benihana table with the big knives they got over there. I flipped this guy’s appendix right into my hat. And that’s when I caught the bug, for surgery and for tetanus!

Now, I want to address some of the slanderous things that have been said about me. It’s just like these coastal elites to say I’m not qualified as a physician. They think you need fancy things, like a diploma from Harvard Med School or a diploma from a med school or a GED or a car or medicine or clean hands. You don’t need those to be a doctor! All you need is the right attitude and a good sense of humor and to be Jewish and a blank death certificate just in case!

This is America. We’re not “fancy” here. You’re supposed to be able to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and put a bunch of clamps in a guy and see what tubes you can clamp up without making him sleep forever. My grandfather was a blue-collar worker, and so was my father. I am a red-collar worker because my collar is always covered in spurting blood. I may not know art or science or what a “lung” is, but I do know that I love America and am a lung-doctor!

Because of my love of America and Donald Trump, it is an honor to be his physician. Donald Trump could teach us all a thing or two about health. Not only is he the healthiest human ever, but also the healthiest dog, house and Faberge Egg. I wish him luck as he continues on his endless journey.

Love,

“Doctor” Harold N. Bornstein, M.D. (Mostly Doctor)

The Love That Evades Is the Most Satisfying to Ensnare

Request: “Hey there!~ i was curious if I could request a Newt x Reader fic based off the song ‘Give Me Love’ by Ed Sheeran?? Maybe it’s like a one sided relationship, he fancies Leta (I know you just did a fic that includes Leta Dx) or Tina, and there’s Angst but fluff? Maybe it can end on a comforting note?~ (I love ur writing so much btw 💕)”

Pairing: Newt Scamander x Reader

Word Count: 4130

Warnings: ANGST FUCKING HELL I LOVE ANGST but also a lot of fluff at the end don’t worry

A/n: wow this is longest fic I’ve ever written lmao pls give it some love if u end up liking it :^)

Originally posted by versacequean


Give me love like her,
'Cause lately I’ve been waking up alone

Looking at him hurt. It hurt to see him smiling, laughing at a joke she had told. He was happy, but it wasn’t with you. It could have been you, maybe in another universe it could’ve been. You would’ve spoken up about your feelings for your freckled friend, and he would’ve blushed and kissed you, then you would have become the most perfect couple, complementing each other in every tangible aspect, bettering each other while sharing a love that couldn’t be broken by the sharpest sword. And yet, here she had come. The edge of a blade, stabbed between your 3rd and 4th ribs, penetrating all the hope you had left.

The worst part about the pain was that it felt like a betrayal. Of course, Newt had never known about your undying love for him, and he probably would never know now. But somehow, every time you looked at them touching, kissing… you couldn’t get the image of the double-edged sword out of your mind. Two hands at the base, one belonging to each of them, pressing it into your heart until the hilt reached your chest. A blind boy, matched with a girl who always had a bird’s eye view on the situation. She knew you loved him.

What made it worse is that she was never harsh about it either. She knew how much you must’ve been hurting, even sending you sorry glances when she realized you were watching the two coddle. The final striking blow being that she was perfect for Newt, so much more than you could’ve ever been. Oh, how you wished so badly to be Leta. The smart, beautiful Leta, who had everyone wrapped around her little finger, whether she knew it or not. Many had painted her to be cruel, or even evil, but those were just rumours spread behind her back due to her reputation being quashed when she started her relationship with the “weird Hufflepuff boy”. Maybe she did have flaws, maybe. It was a maybe that you clung to, guiltily wishing that one day her flaws would overwhelm her many talents and gorgeous features, and Newt would come back to you.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

RFA and unknown with chubby!mc on the beach. Some guys harass her abt being fat in her swimsuit. How does each person react?

HELLO MOD SAERAN HERE :)) *WARNING*: heavy body shaming please read at your own risk, as a chubby person this can trigger >.< so please read at your own risk BUT IF YOU DO JUST KNOW EACH MAN/WOMEN DEFENDS YOU LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL GODDESS YOU ARE!

Zen:

-In exactly two weeks, your boyfriend will have his first day off in months because he started his new movie. After the RFA party, Zen became a bigger name in Korea. He even reached all the way to the United States. For exactly 6 months you and Zen were in Los Angeles, California, filming one of his new movies. You were handling the fame well according to Zen’s eyes but…. he didn’t know that you contemplated leaving him so many times. The reason for that is because you were bullied by fans every day….. from social media….the press…..and his fan letters. Nothing compares to his extreme fan girls because they all made fun of you because you were chubby.

-Before his rise to fame, Zen knew you were insecure of your body and he always reminded you he loved your rolls. He loved grabbing it and kissing it when you guys were intimate *cough fucking cough* so you slowly were learning to love yourself by the help of Zen. However, it wasn’t easy because you were with the most perfect man in the entire universe. He was the head of many Fashion Magazines and was even offered to be a model. He declined the modeling job because he wanted to focus on acting. So you were always the girl who “ was lucky to be with him”. But you learned to hide it well because you didn’t want Zen to worry about you.

-The day finally came and you were hoping he would just want to stay home and relax with you at the house. You heard his footsteps coming closer to you and you were anxious of what he was going to say. “ Baby!! How is my princess” he ran to you hugging you and then picking you up twirling you around. You were always worried about breaking him but he insisted that you were light. “ I’m fine… so where does my Prince Charming want to go on his day off” I giggled while flicking his nose. He smiled and casually said “ let’s go to the beach! I’m in the mood for some waves! I’m going to try surfing again babe! I know.. IT’S NOT GONNA BE LIKE LAST TIME! I will not fall” he laughed while heading towards the closet. You walked after him thinking about why does he WHY the beach. You didn’t want to show your body. People weren’t lying California Girls were beautiful. Sun Kiss skin. Skinny and beautiful. You? Fat. Ugly. Rolls everywhere. Zen notice the change of your face and went to you and grabbed your chin to make him look at him “ if a guy flirts with you I will punch them because you are gorgeous inside and out. I will punch them baby I swear” he brought you closer to him and kissed your forehead gently.

-You guys finally reached the beach and you were wearing a dress swimsuit and Zen was just wearing shorts and a tank top. He looked like one of those Hollister models while you looked like a potato. He held your hand proudly and dragged you so you guys can find a seat. He found an umbrella that was vacant and he got the chairs he was carrying and set everything up. You plopped down the chair and gave a heavy sigh. You were doing okay till you heard a group of guys laughing. “Holy shit EVERYONE LOOK IT’S ZEN AND HIS SHAMOO GIRLFRIEND. I’m surprised you didn’t break the chair sweetie. Next time warn us when you are about to throw yourself !! We are a earthquake state and we don’t want to confuse your falls with an earthquake!!” He was laughing and all his friends were high fiving him. Yo got home and tried running but the sand was slowing you down. “ Awww is the whale having problem running!! You should run more so you can actually look good in a swimsuit” his voice sounded like poison while you fell onto the sand and cried your eyes out.

-You wanted the sand to swallow you up because you can’t believe that Zen even wanted to be with you. “HAHA miss piggy is laughing !! Awww is she to fa-” you heard a body fall onto the sand and heard human flesh being beaten. You turned around and saw Zen rearranging the dudes face. “Don’t you fucking DARE talk about my girlfriend like that. *punch* I am *punch* lucky that she *punch* wants to be *punch* with someone *punch* like *grabs his head and slammed it into the ground* me.” The other friends were starting to run off screaming and Zen was running after his prey. He jumped onto this guy and kicked the air out of him. “ And you wanna be James Franco *kicks* I heard *kicks* your smart remark *kick* that you thought *kick* she deserved *picks him up and throws him to the water* to fucking fall”. The rest of the group were apologizing and left running.

-Zen ran to you with bleeding knuckles helping you up. “Baby I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry those guys hurt you. I’m sorry baby. I’m honored to be your boyfriend. Shit. You are the only one for me I don’t care if you are plus size. Regular size is boring trust me *he gave you a wink* *he hugged you and grabbed onto your ass and smacked it.. hard…* I love that I have more to grab on. Now let’s go wash my baby up so I can eat you” you blushed heavily and left to the car.

Jumin: *NSFW IN THE BEGINNING SORRY*

-Jumin loved everything about you. He loved that you were plus sized. He fucking lived for it. He especially loved it when the two of you were having sex and you sat on his face. He loved being suffocated by your pussy and it juices. From the day he first met you, he loved you. He fucking loved you so much, he would shit talk on designers who didn’t make plus size clothing. He would say it in front of their face. Shit he didn’t give a FUCK. He hired plus size designers to make your clothes and lingerie. If you hated a roll, expect that roll to have hickies and love bites on it. He loved you from the tip of your head to the tip of your toes. Don’t get me started on how he loves that Elizabeth 3rd loves cuddling with you.

-One day he decided to work from home because he wanted to spend time with you and Elizabeth. You were making a big breakfast as always because you cooked for the both of you and the guards. He honestly loved that about you. You were so selfless that you always put yourself last. He just chuckled seeing his employees eating their breakfast nervously because they weren’t use to eating on the clock. However, to ease the situation, you created a system. One group of men would be eating while the other would be outside guarding and then once the men or done eating they will eat. Jumin loved your thinking so he made sure the fridge and cabinets were always in stock. The chef was still employed because you needed help making a big breakfast, lunch and dinner !! When you and Jumin were going out on dates you made sure the chef made food for the guards that were protecting the penthouse. Jumin sweared that each and every passing day he fell more in love with you.

-When he was signing documents and editing them because people can’t tell the difference between Arial and Arial black he overheard you talking to Elizabeth 3rd. “ My lovely Elizabeth…. how I miss the ocean…. I’m not sure if Jumin ever took you near the beach but just hearing the sound of the waves….feeling the wet sand between my toes makes me feel at peace.” You heard her heavily sigh and you heart was about to burst. How can this angel… JESUS Christ. What kind of a man am I for not taking her to a place that she loves. You were about to go to her and ask her for forgiveness until you heard her crying. “ but Elizabeth *meow* the thing is I don’t tell Jumin because I’m ashamed of being next to him in a swimsuit. I’m ugly and fat and he is perfect. He is famous for being rich for crying out loud. Aren’t rich people suppose to be with supermodels and people who are gorgeous, tall, lean, and bright eyes!! I’m fat, ugly, short, with boring eye color.” Jumins heart broke. The guards who were hearing you from the outside were crying. Elizabeth was meowing sadly. The chef who was cleaning his hands in the sink were crying. The whole world was crying. Jumin was going to take you to the fucking ocean even if it means millions of dollars buying out a whole resort with a private beach. GUESS WHAT he did the next min. He bought a fucking resort that had a private beach.

-Jumin was already packing his shit. Jumin was packing your shit. Jumin was packing Elizabeth 3rd Shit. Jumin went outside to the guard and told him to call homes to get their shit pack. He called driver Kim to get the limo ready and to get the jet ready as well. He came to you and told you the news of how he decided to buy a resort and why not use it right now. You hugged him and told him that you were going to get everything ready. You were about to leave for the room but he hugged you from behind and told you that everything was already ready. You told the guards that had to stay :( sorry and that she wishes that they could come along. They fucking loved you. The guards who went along with the chief of security had their bags ready and everything. Because they knew…. they were able to sorta enjoy this mini vacation.

-When you two got there..people were waiting outside to greet the two of you. You guys proceed to head to the presidential suite. You told the guards to take turns sleeping and enjoying the resort. The guards fucking loved you have I mention? They wouldn’t hesitate taking a bullet for you. When you entered the suite you ran to the balcony to look out doors. You were in awe you had to.. YOU JUST HAVE TO GO NOW. You went back inside and Jumin was already in shorts ready to go and he gently threw a swimsuit towards you. You notice it wasn’t your usual dress swimsuit. It was a real bikini one. You looked at Jumin shook. He should know how you feel about this. “You look sexy kitten trust me. It’s going to be only us two it’s a private beach! Please baby pleaaaaseee wear this for daddy ?” He pouted :3 JESUS CHRIST WHEN JUMIN HAN CALLS HIMSELF DADDY WHEN YALL NOT FUCKING IT’S A SERIOUS DEAL. You rolled your eyes and he knew he won >:D.

-You PUT it on and JESUS CHRIST the bikini was beautiful and he went closer to you and wrapped his arns around you tenderly. You flicked his nose “ last one there is going to be submissive” and YOU FUCKING RAN. YOU WERE LIKE RUN FOREST RUN. You ran past some of the guards who were waiting by the elevator “ PUSH THE FUCKING BUTTON PLEASE AND STAAALLLL HIM” they loved moments like these >:3. They pushed the button and you pressed the closed door and you saw Jumin running to Stop the door from closing but a guard was like Mr. Han wait she took the stairs. Jumin knew that wasn’t you because who the fuck like taking stairs. He heard you laugh when the door closed and he took the stairs. He went down 13 flights of stairs quickly and then went to the elevator and pressed the button and when it opened you were shook. He was sweaty and had a smirk on his face. When the elevator hit the 1st floor. You pushed him to the far corner of the elevator and ran for it. He obviously caught up to you and picked you up and had you over his shoulder laughing. You two finally reached the beach and he put you down gently and kissed you. He loved seeing you smile because it made him feel warm inside.

-The other guards were patrolling the area to make sure there were no intruders in Mr. Hans resort. You waved at them and they waved back. You ran to the ocean till you heard a group of girls calling for you. You looked around and you saw a group of girls with their boyfriends. You knew they were making fun of you and it hurt so much. “ Wow I didn’t know fat people like you actually have Bikinis made for them. Sweetie 2 piece are only made for us skinny people.” She laughed. “ Yeah whoever told you that you actually looked decent lied to your fucking face because god *he closed his eyes* you would even make a blind man cringe in disgust”. Tears were rolling down your face so quickly. You just wanted to have a good time but this THIS group had to ruin everything. You turned back and you saw mad fucking men. Jumin was giving death glares to the man who was harassing you. The 3 guards on his each side of him was ready to fucking attack because no one messes with you ESPECIALLY CAUSE YOU WERE SO NICE AND LOVING TO THEM. Jumin slowly walked to the guy and looked down on him “ you really think you’re a big shot aren’t you. News flash. You ain’t shit *looked at the female who made fun of you * and you ain’t shit. Now if you would excuse me *HE FUCKING PUNCH THE GUY AND HE WAS K/O WITH ONE FUCKING PUNCH. Jumin had a serious face “ attack now.” THE GUARDS WERE UNLEASHED AND THEY FCKING CHASED AND BEAT DOWN THE OTHER MALES. Jumin picked up you and took you to the ocean. He whispered words of love and care into your ear until you started to believe them again.

Yoosung:

-Yoosung joined the coffee club and he actually participated in every single event :’D. He was amazing at making coffee now thanks to Jaehee help. You loved it because every time you woke up, there was always a different smell lingering throughout the apartment. You loved it but in the beginning it was nasty smells because POOR BABY WAS WAS WAASSS JUST EXPERIMENTING. But after months of patients and LOVE, he became really good at it. For Christmas one year, jaehee bought him a coffee making set and you bought him all the ingredients he needed. He cried so hard because you always believed in him from the very beginning. He always told you that you were his inspiration for trying to make the best coffee in the world.

-So slowly, yoosung was climbing thru the ranks of the coffee club and ended up Vice President :’D. When he was announced that he was chosen to be Vice President, he was being manly and told them that they will always make amazing coffee. When the both of you got home, HE TACKLED YOU AND HUGGED YOU AND CRIED. POOR BABY. Yoosung being Vice President actually made the coffee club more fun because there were always bonding activities. You always refused to go and told him to spend time with his friends and that you were gonna stay home and continue studying. He was hesitant that something was wrong but being the theater major that you are, you convinced him that nothing was wrong :).

-However, you promised him to go to one event and that he better chose it good. You thought he forgot about it but one day he came SCREAMING into the building and you heard him all the way up from the 3rd floor. JESUS he was that loud. “ BAAAABBBBBYYY BAABABBABAYYYYYY I HAVE NEEEWWSS  FOR YOU!!” You heard him singing baby and oh god what is it now. He kicked the door open and he was in flip flops and shorts with an LOL tank top. “ BABE GET READY WE ARE HEADING TO THE BEACH. THIS IS MY EVENT OF CHOOSING LETS GO” He said with a grin. You heard him breathing heavily and you were thinking, did he really ran all the way to the house from campus. Dear god he was serious. You went to the bedroom and changed into your two piece that can be mistaken for a swim dress but it wasn’t. You then put regular clothes over and ready to go face the beach with a fake smile :(. When you were on the club bus to head to the beach he notice that you didn’t have a real smile on your face and he asked what’s wrong and you just shook it off and said nothing that you were worrying about an assignment. HE BLAMED HIMSELF FOR DRAGGING YOU THERE. HE EVEN TOLD YOU HE WILL PRACTICE LINES WITH YOU AND EVERYTHING TO MAKE UP FOR THE SUDDEN ADVENTURE. You gave him one of your famous smiles and he kissed your forehead. If only he knew….

-You guys arrived at the beach and you wanted to just say sitting on the bench. You saw the rest of the members taking of their clothes to be just with their swim suits, running to the ocean. You wish you had the confidence to do that. Yoosung took of his tank top and and was ready to run for it but he saw that you weren’t moving. He went closer to you and you know you had to do it before he started worrying again. You took of the clothes and were just in your swimsuit and his nose started to bleed. He always believed you were a thick goddess made just for him. You cleaned his nose with your shirt. He grabbed your hand and made you run with him. You were starting to enjoy yourself because your boyfriend was laughing and his laugh made you smile. You guys made it to the water and jumped in. You were having a blast till….. “DAMN FAT ASS YOU CAUGHT US OFF GUARD. YOU CREATED AN EXTRA WAVE.” they laughed while pointing at you. Yoosung notice and he looked at you and everything clicked for him.

-”EVERYONE A WHALE IS IN SHORE OH MY GOD EVERYONE BE CAREFUL WE MIGHT GET A TSUNAMI.” The group of jerks continued to laugh. Tears were forming in your eyes and you grabbed yoosung hands and tried dragging him away. He took his hand away from you and you saw his eyes were dark purple. Oh shit. The man as come out. He ran there like a fucking bull and jumped onto the guy and was destroying him. The guys friends were calling 911 because yoosung was going animalistic. The police came and it took 4 officers to get yoosung off the guy. Yoosung was yelling and him and you were crying. You were a mess. You called Jumin because you needed help bailing yoosung out of jail. Jumin picked you up 3 mins after you called him and followed the police car to jail. Before they were going to book him, Jumin put a briefcase down and pushed the button to open it. There was 2 millions dollars in that suitcase and they let yoosung go without booking him. Jumin gave the two of you a ride in his limo back to his apartment and he asked what in the world happened. You told him with tears in your eyes and he looked at yoosung and gave him a smirk. He told him that he was proud. you guys got home and you gave him the biggest hug and told him thank you. He cried.

Jaehee *she is gonna be short*

-You guys were set to go on a date on the beach. She knew your insecurities but she didn’t give a fuck what other people said because she loved you and your thick self. So to make compromise with you because she wanted you to have a good time and be comfortable, it was suppose to happen around 7:30.

-you decided to meet her there because she wanted to go early and prepare everything. She wanted everything to be romantic. So since you knew there were going to be few people there are the beach, you decided to wear a bikini and you wore a dress over it. You were excited to go see the love of your life :’D

-you arrived at the beach and now you were just looking for the tower she texted you to arrive at. You were walking on the sand heading your way over to the tower. Fuck. You saw a group of college students having a bonfire. Shit they are drinking. You start to pick up the pace hoping PRAYING they won’t notice you. Sadly, god was busy taking other people’s request. “HEY DONUT WHY DON’T YOU COME OVER HERE AND LET US ROAST YOUR FATASS”. His other friend “ YEAH I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HAVE TO USE CURTAIN DRAPES AS CLOTHES” she laughed evilly. God you wanted to cry but you kept walking. But then the bitch who told you about using curtains as clothes followed you calling you names. You wanted it to stop. You wanted to find jaehee. You started to run and the BITCH was running after you calling you names. You kept running faster until you heard a thud behind you. You decided to stop running and you looked back. You saw your girlfriend kicking her fucking ass. She dislocated her shoulder and broke her nose. She got sand and threw it to her face and then Jaehee spit on her.

-She walked over to you and hugged you and kissed your lips gently and then went towards your neck and gave it little nibbles. She loved you for who you are and she kissed you again while gripping your thighs.

Saeyoung: *he is gonna be short as well*

-You guys finally decided to get out of the house for once. You both wanted fresh air and he insisted on going to the beach and you told him no. You wanted to go to the mountains. He told you no. He said beach. You said mountains. But you felt bad because he really wanted to go to the beach and you weren’t going to let your DAMN insecurity keeping you from having a good time. You finally said yes and he grabbed your hips and pulled you towards him for a deep kiss. He gripped your ass and you guys had a quickie. Lol.

-You guys took a shower together a quick one and got ready. You were putting on a swim suit dress and he shakes his head. He made you put on a bikini because he believed that you had the sexiest body ever. You blushed because he looked at you with hunger. You put a shirt and a skirt over it so you can go out in public normal. He got ready as well and it was off to the beach !

-When you guys got there he notice the sand was really hot. Like burning hot and he didn’t want your feet to get blisters. So he told you to hop on his back and that he was going to carry you till you guys got to the squishy sand. He notice that you were hesitating so he just picked you up bridal style and gave you a smirk. He was strolling by the volleyball court and you were nervous. He were hiding your face between your hands. He told you that he wasn’t going to let you fall but oh boy. That was the last thing you were thinking. You notice that two men were laughing and pointing at you and you were guessing your boyfriend didn’t notice. Damn how you wanted him to move faster. WHY WAS HE BEING SO SLOW. “Hey bud!! Red head” one of them yelled. Saeyoung turned around to face them “ yeah what is it?”he said with a blank expression. “ do you need help with carrying the heavy load” his friends were laughing. Saeyoung put you down kissed your foreheads and smiled. He went over and basically made the guy lose 2 teeth. He then looked for his wallet and destroyed everything of his and his family and his friends when you two got home. He left them bankrupt. He put them as felons. You name it he already did it. He wasn’t going to let a fuck boy hurt his goddess shit. You two still HE a nice time at the beach tho C:

Saeran:

-you two were already at the pier. Both of you guys finished your bi weekly appointment of therapy. He was slowly going back into society. You loved him so much. He was in love with you and he believed he owed his life to you. Therapy was always interesting because the session was suppose to be about him but someone he made it about the both of you. So it was like couples therapy. You were annoyed at first but then Saeran said the both of you should become better people. When he notice how much you hate yourself because you categorize yourself as “ fat” he knew he had to change your mind. No matter how many times he called you beautiful, you didn’t pay attention to him.

-That’s when he started talking about your insecurities and how it affects him because he gets so flabbergasted that an angel sent from the heaven above… Hates herself. The therapy was good for each individual but it made the relationship stronger. You guys were able to communicate more and everything. The love was amazing, the sex was phenomenal, the communication was great, life was perfect for him. He started to call saeyoung brother and not idiot brother. Everything was going good C:   

-You guys were eating ice cream on the pier enjoying each other’s presence and the sounds of the wave crashing onto the sand. He looked at you so lovingly as if he was admiring the work of art. “Pecan *YES HE CALLS YOU AFTER AN ICE CREAM FLAVOR* can we go down to the beach?” He said softly. You got up and cleaned your mouth and cleaned his *HE WAS BLUSHING MY POOR HUSBAND* and went your way down to the beach.

-You took off your sandals and he took of his shoes and rolled up pants. You were wearing shorts so you were good. You guys strolled down the whole beach with the water reaching up to your ankles. You felt so happy. So truly happy. You saw this old couple and you asked if they were nice enough to take pictures for they both of you and they happily obliged. You guys had a little photo shoot and each and every single picture was of the both of you smiling and kissing. The couple prayed that you will last until the both of you reached the heaven above. Everything was perfect. Until you saw a man pointing at you and laughing. He came closer and you were waiting for him to say something mean. You closed your eyes waiting to hear the poison entering your brain. But. Nothing. FUCKING. Happened. You opened your eyes and saw the guy looking a bit nervous. He then proceeded to tell you that you were very beautiful and that you guys look like an amazing couple. He then ran off and you looked at Saeran and before he could change his facial expression he had his death glare on. Then he changed into a smile and kissed you and smacked your ass lightly. You laughed and he did too and you continue walking with him hand in hand

-SHIT YALL THOUGHT SAERAN WAS GONNA BEAT PEOPLES ASSES. SAERAN DONT BEAT PEOPLE HE KILLS THEM. HE ALREADY MADE THE MAN NERVOUS WITH JUST HIS STARE. LMAAOO YALL DONT WANT TO MESS WITH SAERAN WHEN IT COMES TO HIS BROTHER, THE RFA, ICE CREAM, OR YOU LMAOOO. IF YALL WANNA DIE, TALK SHIT OR LOOK AT THEM NASTY. SHIIITT. YALL THOUGHT.

Begin Again (2) (Soulmate au)

Summary: One day every human being on the planet received a mark in some place on their body at the same time; these marks are the initials of your soulmate and their date of birth. What do you do when your soulmate is not the person that you have a relationship with?

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words: 1956

Warnings: Angst, fuffly a

Thanks to @drinkfantasy for being my beta, you are Amazing and a cute pie.

Sequel to Every Road

credits to the gif owners


You were lost. A couple of days ago you had your life all figured out and now you don’t know what to do. You barely left your bed these days; all you did was cry and eat ice cream. You hated the feeling of uncertainty.

Your boss took pity of your situation and let you work from home for the next couple of weeks. You were grateful because you still didn’t feel ready to face the outside world.  You quickly realized that work from home is boring; you don’t have too much to do besides answering emails and revising files.

You used all this free time too clean your apartment; you threw everything that belonged to your ex away and everything you felt that didn’t belong to you anymore. You felt renewed, your placed started to look like yours again and getting rid of his things made you see you are really better off without him.

Part of you always knew that your relationship was better from the outside than in the inside, you just wish you had realized that by yourself and not because of the universe.

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If only we were in Vegas

Request: “Maybe we should just get married” with Luke + prompt ‘I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please’
Summary: you’re at the student night when you see the most beautiful boy ever…too bad you’re a pro at embarrassing yourself


The student bar is packed tonight, and it took you and your friends ten full minutes to find a free table. Now you’re squeezed tight at the end of a bench, a beer in your hand as you watch the first couple of people starting to dance to the music.

You haven’t eaten much today, so between the two shots you took at the bar while waiting for a free spot and the beer Camilla bought you, you’re starting to feel a bit tipsy. There’s a warm seeping in your veins at the thought of being surrounded by so many people you love, in a good university, with your second-year exams over and done with.

The girls are gossiping about some dramatic love affair between two of your classmates, and you let your eyes glide further down the row, just looking at people and–

Your thoughts come to a screeching halt. You grab the arm of the person closest to you, who happens to be Camilla.

“Who is that?”

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Winter 2017 Wrapup

Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid

Originally posted by xramensoup

I didn’t have many expectations for this show going into it and I ended up pleasantly surprised with it. Kyoani waved their magic wand and made the show absolutely adorable and mostly fluffy, but also included some unexpectedly gorgeous fight scenes between the dragons. The show had some moments of absolute hilarity as well as genuine heart felt moments between Kobayashi and Tohru, but at the same time it had bits that made me go this is everything that’s wrong with anime. Overall I did enjoy it quite a bit, but I don’t think it’s the strongest work Kyoani has done in awhile. 

6/10

Youjo Senki (Saga of Tanya the Evil)

Originally posted by goku-z

Initially this was not a show on my radar but I kept hearing and seeing things here and there about and decided to give it a go once I was done with the season. I didn’t have any expectations because the studio doing it, NUT, is new and the director is also fairly new, so not much to judge off of. But it was a lot of fun! It takes place in alternate universe WWI with magic, and our main character Tanya the Evil is in fact not a very good person. The show sets up and executes how a world war happens, and also has some very real criticisms of human nature and war. My main complaints are s2 please, recycled CG elements (almost entirely background stuff. I’ll give the new studio some slack but it did take away some of the immersion a few times), and occasionally going a little bit too far towards edgy rather than dark. All said and done I thought it was executed well and an enjoyable watch. It’s fun to watch a show where the MC is definitely not a great person, and the side they fight for may be in the wrong, or at least isn’t definitively in the right. If you’re a fan of war shows, I’d give this one a try. 

7/10

KonoSuba S2

Originally posted by hiratzuka

Konosuba is back with more hilarity and hi-jinks from the gang of idiots. Darkness didn’t get a whole lot of focus in the first season, but she does in this one. Her masochistic tendencies are ramped up to the extreme and the show basically makes her the joke at every point possible. Personally I felt like it focused a bit much on her and some of the jokes started to get repetitive, but despite that it never failed to entertain. If you liked the first season you’ll like the second season. The hot springs trip was definitely the highlight of the show, with Aqua’s church cult being an unexpectedly humorous event. Overall a great sequel to the first season, but I think I liked the first season just a bit more. 

7/10

Gabriel Dropout

Originally posted by hiratzuka

For me this was the moe SoL comedy staple of the season. If you’ve seen a few of them already you can basically guess most of the jokes and gags in this one, but it was still fun throughout. I’m always impressed with authors find new ways to somehow get people into a high school and make a SoL comedy out of it. Vigne and Satania stole the show, leaving Gabriel and Raphiel behind for the most part. Doga Koba also did that thing were they have moe SoL down to a science and made it amazingly cute and fluffy. Solid pick for a comedy, but ultimately not much new. 

5/10

Demi-chan (Interviews with Monster girls)

Originally posted by mimi-pearlbaton

The only thing I knew about this show was that it looked cute and Hikari was in fact adorable. I was genuinely impressed with some of the directing in this show. Moe SoLs aren’t typically heralded for their plot and thoughtful discussion of more serious themes, but Demi-chan is a bit of an exception. This sounds like the sort of show that I would enjoy a lot, but I ended up pretty bored with it. I’m not sure why, but I think it’s because of the character dynamics. It was basically Hikari and then two much more subdued characters and the dynamics never really felt quite right. While it was a much more laid back show, it lacked energy when it needed it. I’ll finish it sometime, but I was a little underwhelmed by it. 

5/10

Little Witch Academia

Originally posted by gurikajis

The TV show ended up very different than the OVAs from what I watched. This is not a bad thing, but it meant that my initial expectations of the show were way off. For now I’ve got it on hold until the whole is released on Netflix and I can watch it a lot quicker than once a week. 

-/10

Kemono Friends

Originally posted by srchani

I only watched the first episode to see what all the hullabaloo was about. I intend to finish it at some point, but for now it’s on hold. Honestly it’s a miracle this show even managed to exist. I want to watch just for the sake of the creators. 

-/10

Anime of the season goes too…. Youjo Senki! The show I really knew nothing about ended up impressing me the most. I’m looking forward to more shows from NUT (hopefully S2). Had I watched 3-gatsu or Shouwa Genroku s2 either of those probably would have been AotS, but I didn’t. They are on my list of things to watch though. 

AU fic prompts ✍
  • I’m a theatre director/playwrite and you are gorgeous and the human incarnation of this character but the most enraging person I’ve ever had to work with au
  • I’m an assistant in this shop and you’ve spent the last hour trying to choose between this top and that top so fuck it I’m choosing for you au
  • I think your child took my child’s toy home from the park by accident and I don’t want to make a big deal of it but…holy shit you’re a single parent too…and really hot? au
  • You have the same purse as the one I left at the library, which I thought was unique so I’m surreptitiously trying to work out if you stole it au
  • I was really drunk last weekend and I can’t remember what happened but your phone number was written on my leg in permanent marker so I decided to call it and see if you knew what I’d done au
  • I was stroking the cover of my book and murmuring about my favourite character when I noticed you staring at me as if I was insane so I’m trying to convince you I’m okay au
  • I came home wearing someone else’s shoes from a party last week and I didn’t notice till I got home, so I looked up photos of the party on facebook and found you had been wearing them. I don’t know you very well but…if I’ve got your shoes, have you got my shoes? au
  • I overheard you telling your friend you were craving jaffa cakes and I happened to have a packet and couldn’t leave a fellow person in need so…want one? au
  • You stood on my nephew’s sandcastle and now he’s crying and I was so angry I came over to tell you to look where you’re going and stop ruining children’s dreams but now I’m regretting it au
  • I was too short to reach this book on the top shelf and you came over and offered to help but I got stubborn and insisted I could do it myself, and I did, but I brought the whole shelf of books crashing down on top of me and now you’re all worried and asking me if I’m okay but I must look like the biggest idiot on earth au
  • You’re wearing mismatched socks and it’s really annoying me, so I’m staring at your ankles like a weirdo and in a minute you’re going to turn round and see and I’m going to have to explain au
  • You were being hit on by a creepy old dude and you looked like you couldn’t get away and so I marched up and said you were with me and the old guy went away but goddamnit you’re cute so hadn’t we better keep up the illusion? au
  • My cat ran off and I was chasing her down the street when she wriggled into your garden through a gap in the fence and I have to take her to the vet today, so could I possibly go into your garden and get her out? au (bonus for full-scale cat-hunting)
  • My parcel of…sensitive items got left at your house by accident. Could I, er, have it back? au
  • I came home to find this in my sitting room - is it your cat? au
  • I’m collecting door-to-door for a charity and you invited me in while you got the money but I’m really really nervous and awkward au
  • You were putting milk in your tea at Starbucks but you didn’t take the teabag out first and that really upsets me so I feel the need to show you how to make a proper cup of tea au
  • You left your amazon account signed it on the library computer and I accidentally bought something before I realised I’m really sorry can I pay you back? au
  • I was perching on a fence reading poetry dramatically to my friends when I lost my balance and fell backwards into your garden, and there’s no way I can get out except trying to sneak through your house au
vernon; drunk on youth (m)

Originally posted by sneezes

genre: fluff/romance and a lil bit of the steamy steam ;)

word count: 8495

characters: Hansol Vernon Chwe/Original Female, bff!Jeonghan + various

prompts: seven(teen) minutes in heaven, university!AU with fraternity!Seventeen, one night stand(?), friends-to-lovers 

*this references to traditional American University Greek life, referring to members as “brothers”, if you’re confused please message me! feelin hella clever that SVT/ ΣΛΤ was managed to be made in the greek alphabet

a happy birthday gift to my sol @vernkn

Hansol Vernon Chwe, she tried to unsuccessfully convince herself, meant nothing to her.

Not when he walked into 18th Century Children’s Literature every Monday and Wednesday, looking like the dead bird her pet cat dragged in when she was three. His ebony strands would stick out like dead twigs, usually muffled by a worn navy baseball cap with the lid twirled behind his neck. He never made a fuss when he entered a minute before the class would start, rushing to the nearest empty desk with his head down, lost in thought. Even though it was an afternoon class, he still managed to look like he walked right out of bed and into lecture.

He meant nothing to her, when he seldom spoke in their seminar, tucked away in the back scribbling notes. Especially not when he’d pipe up for class participation every other blue moon, speaking with sudden austerity about how the English language is so convoluted, his voice strangely comparable to the thickness of raw honey.

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I’m a few days late but I sort of doodled some of my best friends names and am going to talk about them for best friend day (sorry if y’all don’t consider me a best friend though oops)

Linh ( @bullcrappery) WOW this girl gets me like no one else does. even when I’m in abad mood and want to talk to no one I want to talk to her. I love her with every fiber of my being. She’s SO talented, like her art is crazy good. She supports me and encourages me to take risks, she’s an all around beautiful, wonderful person. I’m so blessed to have her.

Temp ( @imaginebeinghamiltrash) Im still sort of shook that Temp is my friend. She is so kind and supportive and such a good listener. She’s funny af and like super relatable! She’s a stunning writer, and not of just fanfic y’all. She’s been there for me the last week or so as I frantically have applied for something and been anxious about hearing back ever since. I hope Temp thinks of me half as lovely as I think of her, 

Frankie ( @angerybisexual) The Joey to my chandler!! This kid, wow.Where do I begin? They are so kind to me, and so so funny. I love talking to them cause we both want to get hit my a truck driven by lin/anthony. We’re equally obsessed with our favs and talk about them a lot. I want to always make sure they know I’m here for them, support them, and love the. No matter what.

@butlinislin Rosie! Me and rosie kinda go back to like the beginning of the year? We’ve had some rough spots but Rosie is so fucking nice, and just like linh and temp has really pushed me to take risks and given me confidence to go through with things I never thought I could. I’m so lucky to have this gal in my life

@1781styles JORDAN THE CHRIS TO MY LIN Jordan is so fucking funny I’m almost always laughing when we talk. She’s always got a story to tell and is one of my fav people, like ever. 

@burninglaurens B R I I love Bri a lot. She’s one of the hardest working people I know. She’s working so hard din school and this years been rough for her and she’s powering through. Ms. Fisher better know that I’m here every step of the way. AND BITCH! I can’t wait to meet you in Brooklyn.

@hxmiltonmusicxl Mikayla is the kind of person who is constantly surprising you. She’s so kind and humble, and on the quiet side. But then all the sudden this girl pops out a joke and a roast and you’re like where did that come from!?!?! but its a aways so funny. For some reason she seems to like every thing I do??? no idea way. This girl is the bomb dot com

@sunriseovertheroomwhereithappens Angelina, wow. What kind, loving soul. She’s got big goals and I have no doubt that she’ll achieve them. Im hoping maybe she’ll let me work with her, cause that’ be BOMB (Let’s write a musical together my dude). She can sing so well and she’s so gorgeous and a talented writer. This girl has it all.

@always-blame-jefferson Charley! is! So! Cute! Like no joke. SHe’s so adorable. she’s a little ray of sunshine and for some reason associate her with bubble gum??? the world may never know why. She works so hard playing two sports at the same time while in school, and now she’s doing basketball over the summer and made JV and I’m proud mama.

@icanttakethemonmyown Anje, well I do not deserve her. For some reason she continues to tell me I’m the most amazing person ever which can’t be true cause that’s her. Her accent is the literal cutest and I love hearing it. She is so beautiful, caring, lovely, and all of the good things. I wanna hug her real bad y’all

@secretschuylersister Taylor, I remember she was like the first or second Hamilton blog I followed. I messaged her and at the time didn’t realize how amazing she was , I mean I was new here. But still when she followed me I was so so happy. Every time she messages me or tags me in something I grin like an idiot. She’s the personification of happiness

@icanneverbesatisfied Rose!!! She sends me pics of ant and has all the time god bless. Not only that but we talk about so many different things. Girl works so hard don her writing and her art and I’m amazing. Plus she plays the trumpet which is so cool!! She’ always a ray of sunshine on my gloomy days. What a lovely human.

@getupoffathathang Me and she both hate our jobs and complain to each other about them frequently. But thats not all we talk about of course! We both want to go to NYC and I believe she’s on her way (and I might be, I’ll keep you update!) Shae is so pretty and loving and wowowowowwow I’m so luck to have her on my side.

@love-doesnt-discriminate Autumn is such a joy, I could just discuss how wonderful she is for ages. She’s so loving and compassionate and deserves all the happiness in the entire universe. I’ll tell her how great she is all the time until she believes me


this is part one! I’ll be making a part two with some more incredible people soon :) I love you all so much thank you for being amazing.

telegraph.co.uk
Dan Stevens
Dan Stevens may have been an ‘unruly’ child, but he still played Macbeth at 14.

Dan Stevens may have been an ‘unruly’ child, but he still played Macbeth at 14. Little wonder the doomed hero of Downton Abbey  is now a fully fledged film star. Sally Williams meets Disney’s latest leading man

Having spent three years playing the ill-fated Matthew Crawley, the accidental heir to Downton Abbey, Dan Stevens seemed fixed in the public’s perception as a thoroughly well-bred chap: a purveyor of good manners, good looks and period dramas. He was so suave in his tailcoats and white bow ties that one critic likened his ‘floppy-haired, Oxbridge burnish’ to a young Hugh Grant.


But in recent years Stevens seems to have  done all he can to obscure his fine features.  He dyed his hair black and appeared ravaged  as a heroin trafficker in the thriller A Walk  Among the Tombstones. He wore heavy armour and a melting nose as Sir Lancelot in the comedy  Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb.

And in High Maintenance, a cult series about a weed dealer in New York, he was a cross-dressing  stay-at-home dad.  Now he is the Beast in the live-action remake of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, in which he spends the best part of two hours disguised as a 6ft 10in leonine monster.


The film, about a prince who is transformed into a brute as punishment for his arrogance, is much-anticipated (the trailer alone broke records, with 127.6 million views in its first 24 hours online). Stevens’ startling blue eyes are still apparent – particularly when he is face-to-face with Belle (Emma Watson), whose love he must win to become a prince again – but the rest of him is concealed under bad teeth, demonic horns and a Lycra muscle suit.

I felt pretty monstrous on that gorgeous set. It was incredibly lavish

You  don’t even hear his normal voice (which, as fans  of audiobooks will know, is beautiful – he has narrated over 30 titles, from Agatha Christie to Roald Dahl), because he does something clever with his larynx to make it particularly growly.  It’s all part of a post-Downton period of exploration, he explains: ‘I realised I hadn’t been  challenging myself.’

Bio

We meet at a hotel in London, where he appears in a pork-pie hat and a hipster cardigan. Now 34, he is much leaner than in his Downton days, and his hair is back to its natural chestnut brown. Having moved from London to New York in 2013, he lives among artistic types in Brooklyn with his wife, Susie Harriet, a South African jazz singer, and their three children, Willow, seven, Aubrey, four, and Eden, 10 months.

Stevens is polite, extremely likeable and laughs easily, but what is most striking is his intellect. He won a scholarship to Tonbridge, an independent boarding school; speaks French and German; and studied English literature at the University of Cambridge.

In 2011 he was the quick-witted guest host of an episode of Have  I Got News for You (crammed in while filming Downton; his co-star Hugh Bonneville, who played the Earl of Grantham, declined because  ‘I am only an actor’ and ‘not sharp enough  to compete with the regular panellists’). The  following year he was a judge for the Man Booker Prize, for which he had to read 147 novels.

The move to New York, he says, marked  ‘a different approach to a lot of things. My own personal health was one.’ He swims, does yoga and goes to the gym, and his diet is dairy-free  (he orders black coffee). ‘I didn’t take very  good care of myself when I lived in London,’ he admits. ‘Under three layers of tweed, you can hide a lot of ills.’

He works hard as an actor, researching roles, exploring the psychology of his characters. And during the five-month shoot for Beauty and the Beast at Shepperton Studios, Surrey, he went to the gym every day. Stevens says he needed to strengthen his legs to withstand the punishment of performing on 10in stilts – ‘metal, elevated platforms that were extremely painful and hard to walk in’, he explains. ‘I also developed really good core strength. It helped with the breathing, it helped with the singing.’

Emma was looking gorgeous in this immaculately conceived creation and then I come lumbering in in this grey, Lycra muscle suit

He did the film because the VHS was part of his childhood – he was eight when the animation came out and had ‘a much-watched copy’ – and because the role was exciting. ‘It was a brilliantly intriguing character to tackle. I thought, “Wow, I get to be the Beast!”’  Creating the Beast was exactly the kind of technical exercise Stevens now thrives on.

He talks of how he had to give two different performances – one neck-down and one neck-up. First, he acted out the movements of his character on-set with Watson, wearing the muscle suit and the stilts, which, he admits, could be alienating.

‘I felt pretty monstrous on that gorgeous set. It was incredibly lavish – the ballroom was based on the Palace of Versailles but turned up to 11, excessive opulence, beautifully lit. Emma was looking gorgeous in this immaculately conceived creation – it took something like 10,000 hours of work to make that dress. And then I come lumbering in in this grey, Lycra muscle suit.’

He has only praise for his co-star. ‘It was  fascinating doing the scenes with Emma. I don’t think there’s another actress on the planet  who is more experienced at working with this level of new technology,’ – after the high-scale visual effects of Harry Potter films – ‘and she was totally unfazed.’

Every 10 days or so, he would sit in a booth with his face covered in ultraviolet make-up  and give his second performance, re-enacting the scenes from the previous days in front of  a bank of cameras. This footage was used to create the Beast’s face.

‘It’s never been done before,’ he says proudly.  There was also another reason for taking the role, he adds. ‘Beast is for my children, for my wife, for my family.’

Dan Stevens was born in 1982 in Croydon, to a mother he never knew. At the age  of seven days he was adopted by two schoolteachers. It’s a subject he has rarely discussed publicly. He was later joined by a brother (no blood relation), who was also adopted.

The family lived in Marlborough, Wiltshire, then Chelmsford, Essex, and when Stevens was eight moved to Brecon, in Wales.  He says his parents – ‘warm, lovely, good people’ – were always open about him being adopted.

‘People like to pathologise adoption, but actually there is no conventional way to be brought up. People can have biological parents who are absent for whatever reason during their childhood, and their parenting can be replaced by any number of people. Adoption is just one of many ways that children get nurtured and loved and end up as human beings who are every bit as interesting and whatever as regular children.’

The circumstances of his birth, he admits, do raise a question mark over his acting ability.

‘It’s quite possibly a genetic thing; it’s quite possibly a nurture thing. The parents that raised me weren’t actors, but they loved going to the theatre and they watched television and movies, so  I was raised on a cultural diet of books, of literature, and also of performance, of watching great movies and plays.’

‘Distracting’ is how Stevens describes himself at primary school; that’s what most of his reports said, ‘either because I was bored or because I was just being an idiot’. The solution was to put him on stage. ‘It was almost presented as a punishment that I was going to be in the school play,’ he says. Acting became ‘a vent for something’.

At the age of 13 he won that scholarship to Tonbridge School. ‘My parents, as teachers, knew about that kind of thing, and I wish more people did really, because I was given some incredible opportunities and am very grateful for that. There is a system out there that champions curiosity in kids, and it doesn’t matter if your grandfather went wherever.’

And yet the change was traumatic. ‘These schools are built like castles. They have imposing façades and are run on very  old English principles, and they are all trying  to be echoes of each other.’ Stevens became ‘unruly’ – smoking, getting suspended, going  on demonstrations. But expulsion was averted  by a teacher.

‘My English master, Jonathan Smith, was one of those magical teachers who could  spot a kid in trouble and know the right thing  to say to him,’ he has explained. ‘I owe him a  tremendous amount.’


A novelist, writer and teacher, Smith was head of English at Tonbridge for 17 years. His former pupils include the poet Christopher Reid, who won the 2009 Costa Book Award, and Vikram Seth, author of A Suitable Boy. His son, Ed, is an author and former England cricketer.

Smith and the drama teacher Lawrence Thornbury ‘were this incredible duo, and it was just like an oasis of creativity and a real escape from the rest of it’, Stevens says. ‘They championed what I was good at and recognised where  I needed to be directed towards, and offered guidance. Even if it was just, “You are having  a moment, read this book.”

‘I got very into the Beat poets, William Blake, Seamus Heaney – it was almost like feeding  a curiosity, feeding certain passions. Whatever  it was, it was like, “Oh, there is something more out there. I can get into this.”’

A turning point was being cast as Macbeth when he was 14. What did they see in him?  ‘Precociousness, probably.’ He explains his urge to perform very simply: ‘The most nervous I ever get is when I have to go and be me somewhere.  If I’ve got a nice costume and some lovely lines  to say, I know I’ll be all right.’

Stevens would later use his Downton fame to help make a film adaptation of a book written by Smith. Summer in February is the tale of a real-life love triangle between British artist Alfred Munnings, his friend Gilbert Evans and the woman they both loved, artist Florence Carter-Wood.

The book was first published in 1995, and the film was released in 2013, starring Stevens as Evans and Dominic Cooper as Munnings. Was that a thank you? ‘There are easier ways of saying thank you than trying to make an independent film of somebody’s book, but yes, subconsciously it was. It was a real labour of love.’

Downton seemed to be in every country in the world. There was no rhyme or reason as to why it caught fire as widely as it did. We were all surprised

It was Smith who encouraged Stevens to go to Cambridge, which he loved, meeting like-minded people for the first time and starring in student productions. Many of his friends were alternative comedians – Mark Watson, Tim Key, Stefan Golaszewski – and he started doing  stand-up, even seeing a future on the comedy  circuit.

The theatre director Sir Peter Hall spotted him acting alongside his daughter Rebecca  in an undergraduate production of Macbeth. Six months after graduation, Hall cast them both in a touring production of As You Like It. ‘I wasn’t buying a house off the back of that job, but it felt like a success in that I had always wanted to do professional Shakespeare and learn about verse speaking,’ Stevens says.

He toured England and America and won critical acclaim, being nominated for an Ian Charleson Award in 2004. Success followed success.

In 2006 he starred as Nick Guest in the BBC adaptation of Alan Hollinghurst’s novel The Line of Beauty (‘I have not seen Dan Stevens before but from now on  I will be on the lookout for anything else he appears in,’ wrote one reviewer); and in 2008 he played Edward Ferrars in an adaptation of Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility. But it was an audition later that year that changed everything.

Julian Fellowes, the creator of Downton Abbey, has explained, ‘We were looking for a young man who was handsome, of course, but who conveyed a real sense of uprightness. Not an anti-hero but  a real hero – someone who, at the same time, seemed strong and rigorous and interesting.’

When did Stevens realise Downton was a phenomenon? ‘I happened to have been in the States and I flew back to Heathrow, and someone came up to me at the airport who was obsessed with the show, and that was only four episodes in.  I thought, “That hasn’t happened before.”’


Americans were especially fascinated – the series won a Golden Globe in 2012. ‘And it wasn’t just there,’ Stevens says. ‘Downton seemed to be in every country in the world [at its peak it played in 250 territories]. Like in Spain, it become one of the biggest foreign shows there for 20 years. There was seemingly no rhyme or reason as to why it caught fire as widely as it did. We were all surprised. Even Julian.’

It has been five years since he left Downton – or rather didn’t renew his three-year contract. ‘It’s called an option for a reason and I chose not to continue,’ he explains. He remembers his days on-set with nostalgia.

‘The dining room scenes were a torture to shoot, but as a result there was  a kind of gallows humour that we all developed. You are eating all day, increasingly cold peas and congealed gravy, and there are 20 of you sat around a table. We used to play wink murder. Maggie Smith [who played the Dowager Countess] is unbelievably good at wink murder.’

Stevens says the decision not to continue was made with his wife. ‘We’d just had our daughter Willow when I started the show and we thought, “OK, a three-year engagement.”

Then by the end of three years I was ready to try something else.’  Family is at the centre of his life. He was 23 when he met Harriet – they were working at different theatres in Sheffield – and was in the thick of marriage and babies ahead of his contemporaries. He was 26 when Willow was born.

‘If it feels right, it feels right. We fell in love and that was it. 

Three children on and it’s still magical.’  He is a doting father, changing nappies, though he admits he’s ‘not the best’ at getting up in the middle of the night. Harriet has put her career is on hold, he says. ‘But there is still a lot of singing in our house.’

His biggest indulgence is travel. ‘We enjoy taking our kids to see beautiful natural spots. Wherever we are in the world, we always try to find something like that.’

As an actor, Stevens’ ambition is to keep trying new things. Future projects include a portrayal  of Charles Dickens in The Man Who Invented Christmas, a film that charts the creation of  A Christmas Carol; and he is about to start shooting Apostle, a dark thriller about a religious cult.

‘When I left Downton, a lot of people would levy questions like, “What are you doing? What are you going to do?” And I guess the last few years have been about answering those questions in a number of different ways.’

Beauty and the Beast is released on 17 March

***As promised, here is volume 2 of Malec fanfic recommendations since you all seem to enjoy the 1st edition which still can be found here.
Again, if you liked this and want me to continue doing this, let me know, okay? And now, have fun reading. I know you all want to have more Malec love in your life.***


I WANT TO ROOT YOUR SYSTEM by @sweetillusionketz [ T | AU | 14.7k | complete ]

Magnus Bane has made a name for himself in the fashion industry after raising high against all odds and becoming the Editor in Chief of the world’s most celebrated fashion magazine, Pandemonium. He’s powerful, influential, and most of all, he’s a genius. Just not when it comes to technology. In fact, Magnus hates it with a passion. So one can imagine his distaste when, after a huge thunderstorm, Pandemonium’s office lost every in a short circuit and he was forced to buy thousands worth of new fancy products from Light Inc., the world’s most renowned technology company. Good thing all that high-tech crap comes with instructions in the form of Alec Lightwood.


ALEC LIGHTWOOD AND THE VERY BAD, NO GOOD, TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE DAY by @lecrit [ M | AU | 2.1k | complete ]

Looking at him feels like looking directly into the sun and Alec wonders inwardly if he might go blind just from the way this man shines so brightly. He is the most beautiful human being Alec has ever seen. Too bad he’s a parking spot thief and now Alec has to hate him.


UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT by @highwarlockkareena [ M | 34.1k | WIP ]

Alec and Magnus never met each other. They didn’t join forces to fight the Circle when they attacked his lair, they never met to help Clary recover her memories. When the Clave refused to investigate the rumours about the rise of Valentine, Magnus, Luke, Raphael and the other Downworlders saw the problem coming for them. They banded together and rose up to stop Valentine. This story is set six months after his defeat.


HURTING AND HEALING by @swans-hooks-and-books [ T | AU | 11.5k | complete ]

“Magnus freezes. It’s then that he realises. He should’ve seen it before. He’s fairly certain he’s crushing on his best friend. His neighbour. The one boy who grew alongside him.” Childhood sweethearts AU where Alec and Magnus grow up next door to each other. Over the years, they transition from playmates to best friends to something more. But as usual, the path to happiness is always complicated.


STRENGTH by heartsdesire456 [ E | 11.7k | complete ]

After Jace disappeared with Valentine, Alec and Isabelle are put under house-arrest by their parents so that they don’t run off and screw things up worse than they already are. On top of that, they took their phones, so Alec hasn’t spoken to Magnus since Jocelyn woke up, and it drives him insane, because what he feels for Magnus feels so big and he knows, deep down, that Magnus feels the same. How do you handle knowing that Magnus Bane’s heart is in your hands?


MASTERS OF WAR by @lecrit [ T | AU | 13.6k | complete ]

Alec and Magnus hate each other. They know it. Their families know it. Their friends know it. Alec and Magnus hate each other. Or do they?


I WON’T LET YOU FALL by @jezthemadficster [ M | AU | 75k | WIP | IWLYF Universe #1 ]

Alec Lightwood is the most beautiful and talented classically trained ballet dancer at the New York Arts Institute. He’s pressured by everyone in his life to carry the honor of the Lightwood name in the New York performing arts world, he feels trapped in a box. Magnus Bane is the most liked, respected, gorgeous, and innately talented hip-hop freestyle dancer who was accepted to the Institute on scholarship. He puts on the happy face for everyone around him, but inside he is broken and badly scarred by his past. When Alec finds himself wanting to branch out and add free movement to his final senior piece he seeks the help of the one person he’s been secretly drawn to for years. The one person he knows lives very much outside of the box.


OF LOVE, GOSSIP, AND DANCE by @jezthemadficster [ M | AU | 2.2k | WIP | IWLYF Universe #2 ]

Texts between the original pairing of Raj x Elias from my fic ‘I Won’t Let You Fall’ . Raj and Elias have begun dating a little while ago and are totally in love but they just noticed that their two friends, who live in very different worlds are starting to interact. Of course these adorable gossips would be texting each other behind Magnus’ and Alec’s backs.


OF CATS AND MUSES by @theonetruenorth [ not rated | 1.2k | complete ]

Chairman Meow really liked his life. Living with Magnus was amazing. But lately he has to share him with a certain handsome Shadowhunter. Chairman Meow is not amused …


BLUE SHIELD by Hobbit69 [ E | AU | 35.7k | complete | Blue Steel series #2 ]

When Alec finally decides to propose to Magnus, he’s called to a crimes scene, where a dead junkie lies without a coat or shoes in a filthy alley. He and his partner, Jace, find a witness. Behind a dumpster, a boy crouches, hiding. The boy does not speak. He does not trust anyone. Except for Alec. Alec and Magnus have to take the boy in and give him a safe place to stay. Especially when whoever killed the junkie found in the alley wants to keep the five year old child quiet.


BLUE INNOCENCE by Hobbit69 [ E | AU | 46.8k | complete | Blue Steel series #3 ]

After a party, Isabelle discovers the body of a… well, fellow model. When she finds herself stuck in a bind, she calls the only person she can, her brother. While preparing for his wedding to billionaire Magnus Bane, Alec is forced to work to clear his sister of a crime she didn’t commit, to find a way to protect her as he hadn’t been able to protect his brother, Max.


IT’S A LOVE STORY (BABY JUST SAY “YES”) by sephirothflame [ E | AU | 5.9k | complete ]

Alec works as a doorman in Babylon Tower apartments. Magnus is living in the penthouse, and makes his interest known very clearly from the beginning.


JUST LIKE DIAMONDS DO by @muttttum [ G | 1.3k | complete ]

Magnus blinked at him, surprised. “You want to see my eyes?” he repeated slowly. Alec nodded, embarrassment flooding his face, flushing his wind-bitten cheeks an even darker pink. “How they really are, without the glamour,” Alec elaborated. “If - if that’s okay?” “Sure,” Magnus said, still sounding a little bewildered by the request. “If you want to.”


THE TIME ALEC DID (NOT) STARE AT MAGNUS’ ASS by vulturemonem [ E | PWP | 2.8k | complete ]

Magnus is horny. He teases Alec with a provocative dance. They end up in bed (obviously).


WHEN DAWN BREAKS by heartsdesire456 [ M | 9.5k | complete ]

When a text from Isabelle sends Alec to Magnus’s house as one last ditch attempt to get him to call off his wedding, Alec and Magnus come clean about their feelings and the consequences of them. When dawn breaks after one night together, Alec has to choose between doing what’s right and what his heart wants.


DEFLECT by @livhtwoods [ T | 3.3k | complete ]

Magnus had always found runes fascinating, and the power each one provided was amazing to watch in action. The way they contrasted against skin, standing out stark and powerful. The warlock also found the placing of some of them to be quite interesting. Especially Alec’s. Or: Five times Magnus agonized over his fixation with Alec’s neck and his deflect rune and one time he did something about it.


COAX THE COALS by @povverbottoms [ E | PWP | 7.4k | complete ]

Raphael, in turn, looks at the ginger root Magnus is holding and says, “Díos, this again?” “What do you mean, again?” Jace asks, looking curious. “Have we just abandoned all social rules?” Simon asks, going mostly unheard as he follows Raphael into the loft. “Does no one say ‘hi’ anymore?”


BETWEEN A MOMENT AND THE NEXT by @actuallyredorchid [ M | 1.6k | complete ]

While Clary and Simon look for the Book of the White in Camille’s apartment, Alec and Magnus go off on their own to check the perimeter.

(Missing scene to episode 1x13)


GOOD NEWS TRAVELS A LITTLE TOO FAST by @gideonhardwood [ T | 2.7k | complete | Lightwood-Bane Chronicles series #2 ]

Jace and Clary are finally engaged to be married. The only hitch is that Jace still hasn’t told Alec, and everyone else already seems to know.


HOLD ONTO ME (CAUSE I’M A LITTLE UNSTEADY) by MagnificentlyMagic [ T | 30.3k | complete | I’m overcome in this war of hearts series #1 ]

His parabatai rune was burning, not with death, or injury, but with betrayal.


AFTERNOON WORKOUT by nyghtmare [ E | PWP | 6k | complete ]

“Well, the way I see it, you have two options. Take a shower or shut up and take me to bed.”


INTIMACY by @banes-wood [ E | 3k | complete ]

“Here, take what you want, what you need.” the warlock whispered, moving his hands to Alec’s to lace them together. Or five times Magnus and Alec failed at having intimate moments and the one time they didn’t.


DON’T GO WANDERING OFF by @one100suns [ E | 28.5k | complete | Battle Scars series #1]

After being kidnapped and used as a food source for vampires, Alec finds it hard to go back to the life he once knew. Plagued by nightmares and unable to hunt, he turns to the only person he is actually comfortable being around. Magnus Bane.



I CAN’T HELP BUT LOVE YOU (EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN BE SUCH AN IDIOT) by @justnightwingit [ T | 3.1k | complete ]

Alternatively titled: The 5 times Magnus said no to Alec’s proposal, because seriously what the heck Alec you don’t propose at times like those.


DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES by @lecrit [ M | AU | 17.5k | complete ]

Magnus looked up when Alec stopped in front of the rusty gate and quirked an eyebrow upon seeing him. “Your Highness,” he muttered, deadpan. “Don’t,” Alec sighed. “Aren’t you afraid to tarnish your royal blood by coming to visit a pirate?” Magnus continued, his lips twitching with the beginning of a smirk, lacking the humor Alec had witnessed so many times before. His mesmerizing eyes told a different story, though. They were defeated, tired and it only made Alec feel worse. “I tried to explain it to them but they wouldn’t listen,” he murmured in a desperate attempt at defending himself.

In which the prince of Idris and an infamous pirate find themselves stuck together on a deserted island and have to face the consequences when they get back on land.

midcentury-stardust  asked:

okay ur plan for a bill/jenny+vastra meetup is a lot better, how about just summery Clara/Bill platonic fluff since it's winter for you suckers down there ; )

this is set between Knock Knock and Oxygen for Bill. and Ashildr/Me got herself in here far too much, whoops!

posted on AO3 here because I was so taken with it. 


The invitation comes the way it did the last time - mysterious letter through the door, older than every other bit of mail by a noticeable amount, yellowing with age.

Uphill Slipway beach, Saturday, noon. 

Bill grins. 

Come Saturday, she takes the bus from Bristol to Uphill, just under an hour and a half, and enjoys the peacefulness of the journey that gets her through her weird playlist that’s just a mix of David Bowie and Hayley Kiyoko. 

It’s a beautiful day, with just a right amount of wind and plenty of sun. Bill smiles into the breeze and basks in the feeling of the sun on her face. 

A familiar diner is perched just on the edge of the dunes, but none of the locals seem to be paying it any notice. Bill heads inside, and sees a familiar face - the shorter brunette with the nose piercing, who is always rolling her eyes but never at Bill. 

She’s nice to Bill, actually. There’s something compelling about her, a weight to her eyes and her words, that almost reminds Bill of the Doctor. 

Not to mention, she tends to flirt with Bill at the most surprising moments, which is fun. 

“Hey, Me,” Bill says. 

“Hello Bill,” Me says, from where she’s perched on the counter painting her toenails a deep purple colour. “She’s out on the beach, not too far off. Green sundress, you won’t miss her.” 

“She’s a bit hard to miss,” Bill replies, and Me indulges her with a nod, and a small smile. 

“You look nice,” Me says, eyes trailing over Bill’s colourful jumpsuit (the one she had worn on her first trip to another world) and the denim shorts it was tucked into. 

Bill tries not to blush. “Thanks. You look nice too.” It isn’t surprising that Me’s beach getup is more sophisticated - a wrap dress over what looks like a modest swimsuit, as well as a large floppy hat. 

Me smiles again. “Thank you.” 

Bill lingers awkwardly, her stupid little crush making her want to prolong the conversation. “So I’ll, uh… go see her, then.”

Me nods. 

“See you out there?” Bill asks, trying not to sound too hopeful. 

“Perhaps.”

There’s something to Me’s soft eyes and the curl of her smile that makes Bill think Me is all too aware of Bill’s little crush, but it doesn’t feel like it’s returned so much as a source of flattery and faint amusement. Not in a cruel way, though. It’s like… it’s like Me is just in a level that Bill could never comprehend. That’s what it feels like. 

Bill ducks out of the diner and heads for the beach, and sure enough spots a figure in a green sundress. 

Clara Oswald stands at the water’s edge, with her feet in the sand, letting in the waves come in and cascade over her feet and ankles. Her face is tilted up to the sky and her eyes are closed, a content smile on her lips. 

“You made it,” she says, as Bill approaches, without looking around. 

“Seriously, how do you do that? It’s like him all over again,” Bill says, amazed, and Clara just laughs a little, but in that way that is always a little bit sad whenever the Doctor is brought up. 

She finally turns to look at Bill, and Bill has to stop and take a moment, like she always does, at just how beautiful she is. 

Like, the oh my god I’m so gay how do girls do that, how am I standing in front of an actual goddess right now. That kind of taking a moment. 

Weirdly, Bill is more in awe of Clara than crushing on her, unlike with Me. She’s not quite sure why that is, but she suspects it’s because Clara always feels like the Doctor’s, like she’s out of Bill’s reach in a way that’s impossible to describe. 

Keep reading

A Rogue One Inception!AU

- link to my other Rogue One blabberings -

is there a rogue one inception!au floating around anywhere in space? a picture set? aesthetic? whatever they’re called.

because guys.

guys.

i’ve never been in the inception fandom (except to stare at ariadne’s gorgeous face ok), but imagine (i’m gonna get all the terminology wrong and everything might not happen in the same universe but bear with me):

  • the rebellion has failed in successfully extracting information from galen erso’s mind regarding the empire’s top secret research
    • a woman had appeared during melshi’s interrogation. a brunette with a beautiful but tired face.
    • “i’m usually not one to impose myself in my husband’s business dealings, but,” a sad, exhausted smile, “things have changed.”
    • she’s a shit shot, but it ends the dream nonetheless.
  • the rebellion has lost their mole, and the empire knows who they want. they lose access, and erso disappears.
  • much later, the rebellion is given one more shot at erso’s mind. a defected pilot confesses that he knows where erso has been hidden away.
  • the rebellion commands captain cassian andor - the original team’s forger who had been the only one undetected due to his skills as the alliance’s best forger - to do the following:
    • one: to put together a new team for the extraction, including
    • two: finding and recruiting galen erso’s daughter.

DON’T KNOW HOW EVERYTHING COMES TOGETHER BUT THE TEAM ULTIMATELY ENDS UP BEING:

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How do you argue the idea that "if god created everything who created god" because there seems to be a contradiction with people who say everything had a creator

This argument is a simple one in my opinion. But before I show you how this doesn’t cause a contradiction for theists, I’ll show you how this question actually leads to a contradiction for atheists.

We’ve all heard of the Big Bang Theory, however not many people actually have an accurate understanding of what it is. Normally, we think that this theory means that there was nothing, then a “Big Bang” happened and then everything came into existence etc etc. This isn’t 100% true. What the Big Bang Theory states is not how the universe began, but rather, how it expanded. So this theory starts off with a super small, condensed sphere known as the ‘singularity’ which, for one reason or another, expanded super quickly and eventually led to the universe we have today. Notice, this doesn’t answer, nor does it attempt to answer, the actual issue of creation. The super small dense singularity exists beforehand in the theory. No where in the theory does it say this ball popped into existence, it simply states that it already existed. Likewise, other theories like evolution fall under the same misunderstanding. Evolution itself is NOT a source of creation. It cannot create itself, rather, evolution describes a method of creation. A cell had to have formed before evolution occurs. It’s not the other way around. Evolution needs DNA, and a replicating DNA at that (along with suitable proteins, enzymes, etc). So here is where the contradiction occurs for the atheist…When they ask a theist, “well if you say everything needs a creator, then who created God?” they themselves believe in a theory were a magic dense singularity already existed, only later to have magically expanded. So if they ask who created God, I ask who created that singularity? If they can accept that this singularity existed without a creator then what’s the issue of thinking God exists without a creator….

Another interesting point. Scientists tell us that they believe the universe is about 13 billion years old. The way they got that number is through their estimates of when the Big Bang occurred. This means that they believe that time was created along with space in something called space-time. But what is time? (and no, time really does exist, it is NOT man made). This is question now leaves the realm of science and enters the realm of philosophy. After reading the different arguments as to what is time, I believe the best definition of time is that it is simply a measurement of change. Therefore, if nothing changes, then there is no time. For example, I believe that if everything in the universe reaches 0 Kelvin, or absolute zero, (at this point even the atoms almost stop vibrating), then time pretty much stops because nothing can really change anymore (think of the Big Freeze, aka the Death of the universe). Likewise, if scientist believe that time began with the Big Bang, they must believe in God. Why? Because if they say time didn’t exist beforehand, then that means there was no change, and no change can ever occur. This is because No change + No change = No change. For example, idk about you, but sometimes I could be sitting home alone, but then something randomly just falls or something weird like that. That act of sudden movement of that object is not random, there had to have been slight changes or small forces acting on it until it gave way and fell. Point being that there was slight changes taking place along the way which eventually led to this occurring. However, if time truly did being with the Big Bang, then nothing could have built up before hand to have led to trigger the universe’s expansion because nothing can change. Thus, you would need God to not only create that small dense ball to begin with, but to initiate it’s growth.

Okay, so that is one way to answer the question, but here is another.

This question is usually posed because everything we see and everything that exists in our universe needs a cause. And this is part of the nature and law of our world. However, a distinction needs to be made between our world and God. God isn’t bound by our world, it’s laws, or it’s norms, and this is a vital point. This concept of cause and effect, creator and created, only applies to this universe. But I understand that wrapping your head around this notion is difficult, so I’ll give you an example of how there are things that our minds simply cannot understand because these concepts seem too strange to us. For example, think of a 2D object. Most likely you thought of a stick person or shadow or something. Now think of a 3D object…. Easy. Now think of a 4D object. Can’t? How about 5D? You man say, well they don’t exist. However, according to String Theory, it is theorized that up to 11 Dimensions are out there. The only problem is we have no way of detecting them…. the point is, we can’t comprehend things outside our realm of reality which is why the question of “Well, if God exists, who created Him?” is not necessarily a valid question. In our created realm, the reality of cause and effect exists, but this law was created by Allah (SWT), not the other way around. And again, anyone who objects to this would have to also reject the Big Bang Theory as well.

Lastly, I’ll just include this bit. We live in an age were it seems that most scientists are atheists/anti-religion, however this simply isn’t true. A study done by Elaine Howard Ecklund, from Rice University between 2005-2008 showed that out of 1700 scientists about 50% of them believed in some form of God. Of the remaining 50%, only 30% of those scientists considered themselves to be atheist, leaving the other 20% being agnostic. What’s even more surprising is that out of the 30% of scientists which said they are atheists, One-Fifth of them considered themselves “spiritual atheists.” Furthermore, she found that out of the atheist scientists, only a very small percentage were anti-religion or felt that science and religion weren’t comparable. She also went on to speak about how most scientists don’t feel comfortable letting other people know they believe in God bc they felt that if people know that the believe in a creator, they might question their work. The reason I state this is bc we are fed this false idea that most scientists are atheists…that is simply not the case. Included in this research was what you would call “elite” scientists, or the big name scientists, who fell on both ends of the spectrum. Some believed in God while others didn’t. But the point is the same, don’t believe this narrative that scientists or people of knowledge are atheists, that isn’t true. I currently have a Biology professor who studied at Harvard and has his PhD (in the biological field, forgot what it was exactly) who openly says he believes in God…use your own judgment, don’t look for other’s to think for you.

Just some fun facts: Albert Einstein, also held some sort of belief in God, although he believed in Spinoza’s God. But in an interview published in George Sylvester Viereck’s book, Glimpses of the Great, he was asked if he considered himself to be a pantheist. Einstein said,

“Your question is the most difficult in the world. It is not a question I can answer simply with yes or no. I’m not an atheist, and I don’t think I can call myself a pantheist. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many languages. The child knows someone must have written those books. It does not know how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn’t know what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God. We see the universe marvelously arranged and obeying certain laws but only dimly understand these laws. Our limited minds grasp the mysterious force that moves the constellations. I am fascinated by Spinoza’s pantheism, but admire even more his contribution to modern thought because he is the first philosopher to deal with the soul and body as one, and not two separate things.”

-Albert Einstein

Another leading scientist, Dr. Michio Kaku, who is the co-founder of String Field Theory, also believes in God. He has said,

“Personally, I think there’s much wisdom in the God of Einstein…The universe is gorgeous. The universe is very simple, and it didn’t have to be that way. The universe could have been random. It could have been ugly. It could have been a random collection of electrons and photons. No life, no vitality, nothing interesting at all. Just a random collection of a mist of electrons and photons. That could have been the universe, but it isn’t. Our universe is rich; it is beautiful, elegant. And you can summarize most of the laws of physics on one sheet of paper. Amazing.”

-Dr. Michio Kaku

But like I said, don’t believe in something because others do or don’t. You are intelligent enough to piece together your reality, so don’t give that right to anyone else. You will come across people who believe in God and don’t believe in God and still, others who fall somewhere in-between, but all that doesn’t matter because their beliefs aren’t yours. Imam Jafar Sadiq (as), the 6th successor of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAWS), has a lovely saying where he says,

“The one who enters this religion through men will exit it through men just as they caused him to enter it. And whoever enters this religion through the Book and the prophetic practice, mountains will move before he does [in his faith].”

In other words, you must believe on your own account. Don’t look at who follows what and say, well Richard Dawkins is super anti religion therefore so am I. At the same time, also don’t say, “well Albert Einstein believed in a creator, therefore so will I.” That isn’t having faith in God, it’s having faith in man. Moral of the story, think hard, ask questions, come up with your own conclusion.

I wish you clarity in your pursuit

Zendaya is probably Mary Jane or a Mary Jane adaptation part II

This is Mary Jane’s first ever appearance.

Notice the characters involved. The blonde is Liz Allen. The brunette is Betty Brant. Their are reasons why we aren’t getting a Betty Brant romance because usually when she is introduced, she is older than Peter and now of days it is taboo for adults to date teenagers. Peter tries, but Betty has always been an adult(except for the Ultimate Universe when she is too sleezy and stuck up that she would do anything for fame.) You don’t see Mary Jane’s face. They build it up as, “Oh my god, she is so pretty.” 

This is called anticipation. A lot of super hero movies introduce the female lead as an object of the main character’s desire if not already involved in the hero’s life. Mary Jane does not start out that way. She was introduced without Peter knowing her, but about her.

You want to know how dedicated Stan Lee and Steve Ditko were to her “real debut.” These panels came from Amazing Spider-man #25. She was finally introduced Amazing Spider-man #42. She was mentioned in Amazing Spider-man #15. Comic books were released every month. They centered a debut and anticipation of a character nearly 2 and a half years worth of anticipation and build-up.

Zendaya’s character “Michelle” is not apparent in spite being one of the most well known actresses in this movie. Michelle is the only character without a last name. We first see her after Peter starts swooning over Liz Allen and the trailer is not being subtle about it. It is literally right after we see Liz Allen. 

“But why are they keeping it secret then or why doesn’t she have red hair?”

Because people honestly think that what made Mary Jane so great was her red hair and green eyes. That she was a model. That she was gorgeous. But so was literally every other super hero love interest. What seperated MJ aside from her introduction from Iris West, Lois Lane, Batman’s literal graveyard of dead romantic leads is that MJ had depth.

From the very beginning, MJ had this lively personality and was fun compared to ultra-serious Gwen Stacy or popularity Alpha female Liz Allen. What made her substantial was that she was different from the get-go. What made her memorable is that as soon as you pinned Mary Jane as the party girl who does not care about drama going on, she flips the script again.

She was one of the first female leads in comics that actually show depth. The first in Marvel? Gwen Stacy. 

Spider-man used to have the most complex female characters for awhile. Like Gwen Stacy had sex with several people before she slept with Peter and no one thought less of her for it or shamed her. She also had a hot and cold relationship with Peter because she was annoyed with how much you can count of Peter being late or disappearing all the time. Gwen also had a bad habit of using sex for solace due to her boyfriend Pete being distant, Harry, her ex having a drug problem, and her dad dying. She was a human being with flaws.

Mary Jane Watson, however, was probably the most interesting. Beneath the party girl veneer, Mary Jane lived in an abusive home. She inherited her love of literary work and plays from her abusive father who was a college professor and a failed writer. She delved into romantic stories such as Romeo and Juliet to escape from the hell of her home and became the party girl to shrug off the stress in her daily life. Mary Jane, the party girl, was a facade. Who she really was is the fragile girl so deeply affected by witnessing an abusive marriage that she had commitment issues and refused to be tied down for fear that what happened to her mother would happen to her.

Yes, giving MJ depth and character is what made her iconic.

How this relates to Zendaya’s “Michelle” is that you can’t use this trope anymore. What made MJ significant back in the 60s will not fly here because that is a dime a dozen. There are no bullies like Flash Thompson and Cheerleaders aren’t as revered anymore.

As someone who has to adapt a story that does not fit in the times, what would you do? 

I would keep the same structure. MJ’s iconic introduction needs to remain in tact because what made her significant was drowned out in the first series. So instead of keeping it unknown to Peter on who she is, keep it from the audience as well. And to do that, you have to introduce the character without actually “introducing” her. MJ’s party girl facade will not fly in the 21st century in a world where Cardi B and Miley Cyrus and Nicki Minaj are like revered and celebrated for being that.And it would be way too obvious if Zendaya had red hair because people associate that with MJ and really, MJ does not have to a red head because red headed romantic leads in comics are so overdone.

The structure of Mary Jane and Peter Parker romance resembles Romeo and Juliet in the beginning. Like Peter, Romeo is fixated on Rosaline as a lone interest. You never meet Rosaline in the play and Liz Allen is a really obscure Spider-man character. As soon as he sees Juliet, Romeo becomes fixated on her. When he meets MJ, Peter does not necessarily drop everything and sprint to the alter, but he does show interest or as much interest as he does in her as he does long running Gwen Stacy.

The structure is this:

-introduce a faux lead to make audience care focus on the faux lead

-keep real lead out of focus

-then make the real lead the real interest

So I am hiding obvious tells from the audience while still keeping her character known? Men associate MJ with being impossibly curvaceous. I remember when Kirsten Dunst got the role and immediately comic book fanboys said that she was not endowed enough or something along the lines of that.

 I would be extremely subtle about it without it coming out of nowhere.

I would make Zendaya’s character seen and heard, but not apparent. Zendaya is gorgeous. Okay, no make up for the role. She is still gorgeous to me, but dudes are stupid and won’t pay any attention to anybody unless she is gussied up. Mary Jane is an actress. Well actresses do read a lot and tend to read up on obscure roles as research. Give her  a stack of books and novels of old novels that were adapted into classic, but obscure films.

I already went over 2 of the books in the stack. A Woman in the Dunes is the second book from the bottom of the pile. The third book is the Wings of the Dove. Both are classic movies with prominent female leads. 

The book on the bottom is Democracy which threw me off, but I finally found that there is a novel called Democracy that follows a woman dealing with politics. So, that is right up MJ’s alley?

But why complex female leads?

MJ as an actress resented that her talent was not being used properly and was routinely casted for her looks alone. She always desired complex leads. She wanted a challenge, as any actress worth her salt would.

I cannot figure out what the book she is holding is(looks like a notebook) and the book on top is due to her coffee blocking it.

So we have trendy, hipster MJ or MJ-esque character. Instead of having a bodacious bombshell, we have nerdy, exhausted Mary Jane who really looks like she needs a nap. I really do believe that this is Mary Jane or her adapted substitute. She is still MJ in spirit and character, but not the one we are most familiar with. 

Konan and Obscene: Virginity is not purity

I just saw a post that said that Konan is a virgin because she is timid or shy which kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

Kishimoto describes Konan as “obscene.” 

“obscene” and “hot” are not the same thing. Kishimoto doesn’t even describe Mei as “obscene” and she is someone who lusts after younger men. Not even Kurenai, an attractive woman who has actually had confirmed sex. So why would Konan be the only woman in the Naruto verse described this way?

Obscene also doesn’t mean that she sleeps around with many different men. She is not a slut by any means. Does she have sex every waking moment of the day with random men? No. That’s not at all what we said.

Occasionally she likes to divulge in the pleasures of flesh but would be much more content to use toys and other methods of stimulation. Having sex with an Amegakure citizen would be totally against her quota. I do not see her doing something like that.

However, if she finds a non-Amegakure Citizen cute she might just decide to have a night of fun. And honestly there is nothing wrong with that.

Yes, Konan has only loved Yahiko. Does that mean that she can never have sex. No. Sex is a feeling and a physical action. Emotional intimacy is something extremely different that Konan will not open herself easily to.

The whole argument about what will people think and what will Obito think? Konan is a sensory ninja and an amazing spy. She will not talk about any relations she has outside of Akatsuki business.

And the fact of the matter is, she does not care what Obito would think if he did find out she had sex 1-5 times in her lifetime. (more or less give or take)

Showing how Konan is a quiet and observant person, planning Obito/madara’s demise.

This is her body language when she speaks to Obito in an official meeting. Casual and not concerned at all and doesn’t show him the slightest amount of respect.

Konan is just not a timid girl that follows orders. That is not her character. She is not shy, she does not hide behind Pein despite how many people think this. Pein just overshadows her as a character. And shown here she clearly does not give a single fuck to what Obito thinks.

Konan’s general attitude of Timidness and reservedness is only reserved towards Pein because the GUILT she feels over Yahiko’s death. Pein carries a power over her and Konan doesn’t truly start to become herself until she’s able to make peace and let go of Yahiko.

Now I’m not saying that virgins can’t be confident woman either, but it’s usually more common that once a woman has already experienced sex, it provides her with more confidence. (or turn them off from sex forever.) Every persons sexual experience is different. Itachi and Sasori @evartandadam​ said are virgins based on their personality. Itachi is so protective of his younger brother and his life turned into a living hell and continued to be once he turned 4. Sasori is like: Human desires, who needs those things… Nah brah, I’ll become a puppet, people are gross and annoying.

But due to Konan’s supreme confidence:

(Who just calls someone who they KNOW is a serial killer, casually a homicidal maniac? That is too ballsy to even comprehend. Even Hidan is lookin at her like: “….Psh… NAH… Y’all stupid.”  )

Another Point, Konan was spying on Obito for a long extended period of time. Who’s to say she wouldn’t follow him into the bathroom. Cause lets be real, the bathroom might be one of the most private places to exchange information without prying eyes. I can imagine many talks with Zetsu occurred in the bathroom under the guise of doing something else.

Konan is a spy paper lady who observed Obito in the Akatsuki 24/7. She would not be ashamed to see his dick or shy away from wherever he went during his time there. Even if it was a brothel or something questionable.

She also calls Sasori YOUNG MAN when they are the exact same age. She sees herself as someone older and more mentally mature as someone like Sasori. (and sasori is mentally 100 lets be real he’s a cranky old man)

I feel this isn’t a projection thing. I see Konan is someone who is confident and assured and not a virgin at all. Like we have someone who has called Madara “DARKNESS” Hidan a “HOMOCIDAL MANIAC” and Sasori a “YOUNG MAN”. She is very confident and demands respect and power with her tone and every move she walks. 

Saying Konan isn’t confident is just not her character. She is not shy like Itachi, nor she is not sosopathic disregarded humanity like Sasori.

Even if you want to argue that she was loyal to Yahiko in body just as much as she was in mind… (even though at the end of her character development and arc she let him go.) You are saying that Yahiko and Konan NEVER had sex. Which I wholy disagree.

I do see Yahiko being Konan’s first. Sure it was dumb awkward teenage hormone sex and none of them kinda knew what they were doing. I can see them having sex maybe once or twice. I made a rant years ago about how Konan actively flirts with Yahiko and teases him. Even as a teenager she was a bit confident and pushing her limits. 

But here’s the short version. Konan had a love letter sent to her by another Akatsuki member. (The OG guys not the Akatsuki we know) She receives this letter, then PURPOSELY delivers this to Yahiko. Now this can be seen as heartless or mean spirited, but no. Konan was confident. She loved Yahiko and wanted to see if he loved her back. This is a very confident and ballsy way of flirting. Like: “Hey, I know you’re looking at me, but letting you know, there are other guys looking at me too. So ya know, come and find me when you’re ready hotshot.”

Even Nagato be like:

I don’t see her as someone who would hold her virginity on a pedestal and claim that she’s pure. That’s something I would see Hidan doing, but not her.

I will dab outside of the Naruto fandom here,but why does a woman who is confident with her body and know what she wants a bad thing? For example I will show a character who has slept around with many men in the past and isn’t victimized or demonized for it.

And this is the only example I could think of in all of media. Which is saddening.  At least in terms of animation.(I don’t watch many non-animated things) Woman who have had sex before are seen as sluts or non-pure, which is a completely sexist attitude to have towards woman in general. And I have met other woman who think this about each other, Woman can be sexists too and it’s actually more common to see. Like half of my woman friends have very misogynistic views of society and their roles as women in it.

 I will keep this as spoiler free for those who haven’t watched that Steven Universe or are in the process of watching Steven Universe. Rose Quartz told Greg that she has slept around with other humans before and has never been in a real serious romantic relationship involving other humans. Does this make her a bad person? No. Has she hurt people because of this. Of course. Is she openly judged for liking to get around? No. 

People in the context of the show look up to her as a great military leader and someone who is gorgeous beautiful and confident. Within the show’s context it’s hinted that there is a bigger mystery to her, but even now in later seasons she is considered a well-rounded and very complex character.

Another tangent but people writing usually say “I have problems writing women.” And I will voice my opinion on that briefly and divulge a bit on a tangent.

The biggest pitfall of writing women in fiction is writing women in fiction basically.

Men have taken the “default” position as the “everyman” Women tend to be written as females rather then people and all their issues are about being female. (Sakura and Ino are prime examples. Konan is a bit different then Sakura because none of her issues revolve around being female, They resolve around saving her country, which is why she has always been more interesting)

 It’s not just a mistake male writers make, woman writers make this mistake too because we follow the social trends we are raised on. 

So, many people think the way around this is to write their women as PEOPLE first, developing their traits the same way you would a male character, and leaving the gender by the wayside.

While this is kind of a step in the right direction but there is a bit of a problem with that too. You run the risk of forgetting the societal element. How the outside world reacts to a woman acting in a certain way. And this is true. Society cares way more about how woman act and look in the public eye then men do. Not saying that guys are judged by the media too, girls just have way little breathing room then men do.

Even if you do not want to write about the characters issues that are exclusively female, you may need to acknowledge them depending on your story. 

And if you DON’T, there will be aspects of the story that ring false.

The same is true for men of course but there is much more content for that balance, There are way more male coming of age stories because we understand more clearly what society expects of them because we see it so often and it’s easier to write. 

So sorry to toss my two cents on writing woman. As well as Konan’s development, and how she is a fem fatale. 

ULTIMATE DELENA FIC REC LIST

I’ve been asked a couple of times for good fanfiction and since I do read a lot I decided to make a post with some of the ones that I really enjoyed reading or found interest in.

(in alphabet order)

  1. A love that consumes - COMPLETE - Elena Gilbert loves Stefan Salvatore. No, really, she does! Sure, she’s been having more and more late night encounters with his devilish handsome brother Damon and there have been a few kisses and touches, but it’s not like they mean anything. Right? (Post Canon)

  2. A Woman’s Worth - COMPLETE -  Love hurts. This story takes on a literal meaning when Elena is a victim of abuse by her boyfriend. A journey of the silent sufferings of a girl with no one to turn to and unwilling to ask for help. Enters Damon, a social worker determined to rescue a damsel in distress and falling for her along the way. What is he willing to sacrifice in the end to save a girl he loves? (All Human)

  3. Addictions - COMPLETE -  When Elenas’ life has been consumed by addictions, can anyone save her? (All Human)

  4. All At Once - COMPLETE -  Damon and Elena have been in an extremely casual arrangement for a month when he assumes temporary custody of his teenage nephew. Follow them on a journey as ‘nothing’ may just turn into 'everything’ if they can overcome dark pasts & biggest fears. (All Human)

  5. All You Are To Me - INCOMPLETE -  Damon and Elena have been best friends for their entire lives, but when they risk their friendship to become something more will their relationship be strong enough to weather any storm? (All Human)

  6. Anyone Else But You - COMPLETE -  Elena has worked for Damon for five years, they complete each other in ways no one else can. But will either of them be brave enough to fight for the love they deserve? (All Human)

  7. Bittersweet - COMPLETE -  Elena has her “happily ever after.” Married to the love of her life with the job she’s always wanted, she can’t dream of making any changes. But sometimes life has a way of playing by its own rules. When her world turns on its side, can the one person who’s always been there when she needed him help her pick up the pieces? (Post Canon)

  8. Can’t Be Tamed - INCOMPLETE -  Damon Salvatore is a well-known and ruthless mobster who gets what he wants, when he wants. When John Gilbert fails to settle his debts on time, Damon takes matters into his own hands and kidnaps his niece, Elena, Johns most valuable asset. But is Damon her captor or her saviour? (All Human)

  9. Crying Lightning - COMPLETE -  "I should have helped her. I should have done something. I deserve this. I deserve to die" - Damon is an 18 year old troubled lost soul with a bad reputation and Elena a 17 year old popular high school student who thought she had everything she ever wanted, that is until she got to know the eldest Salvatore and realizes that life is about more than being crowned Prom Queen! (All Human)

  10. Dancing in the Dark - COMPLETE -  Singer, Elena Gilbert gets signed to the most prestigious record label in the world. She thinks it’s her big break until she meets her producer, the cold and stoic Damon Salvatore. (All Human)

  11. Do You Believe In Angels? - INCOMPLETE -  "Damon?“ She asked. He looked at her, waiting. She took a shaky breath, "Do you believe in angels?” “No,” he said, “Not anymore.”. Two children with tragic pasts meet at a refuge. Hurt and alone, they clinge to each other to survive. This is their story, and everyone involved along the way. (All Human)

  12. Don’t give up on my son, a dying man’s wish - COMPLETE -  Elena takes a job caring for her friend Stefan’s father. When Elena discovers his dying wish is to reconcile with his older son Damon she decides to make it happen. But Damon doesn’t exactly make it easy on her. (All Human)

  13. Down A Crooked Path - COMPLETE - Some loose ends should be burned. Sequel to Self-Inflicted Wounds (Post Canon)

  14. Echoes - COMPLETE -  Things have been calm in Mystic Falls for years. Damon and Elena have been peacefully raising their family in the town where they both grew up. But this is Mystic Falls. Things can change quickly…and never for the better. Sequel to “Bittersweet.” (Post Canon)

  15. Echoes of the Past - COMPLETE -  Each of us has a past that shapes and defines us. Some pasts are filled with pain and heartache. Can Damon and Elena overcome their pasts to allow themselves a chance at happiness? Or will things from their past resurface to destroy their future? (All Human)

  16. Faults and Blizzards - COMPLETE -  Six months after their divorce, Elena Gilbert and Damon Salvatore are forced to spend Christmas together. (All Human)

  17. Fighting Fate - COMPLETE -  "I believe in fate more than the average person. We will run into each other again because we are meant to be. I just know it.“ (All Human)

  18. Forever Mine - EPILOGUE LEFT -  The night Damon Salvatore met Elena Gilbert changed the course of their destinies forever. But just as the future made itself known, the past caught up with them to destroy it all. Together on the run, Damon finds himself falling for this girl. Hard. But, Damon Salvatore doesn’t love and he won’t let her change that. No matter how much his soul…his body begs him to give in. (Alternative Universe)

  19. Forever Yours  - COMPLETE -  'But If we’re really meant to be, shouldn’t this be a lot easier? Why has it all been so hard’ - Do you believe in reincarnation? The chance to start over after your life has ended. Take this journey with Damon and Elena to find out if they should be together for eternity. Is it possible to fall in love with the same person over and over again? (Alternative Universe)

  20. Four Lettered Lie - EPILOGUE LEFT -  Damon Salvatore thought he’d never have to see Elena Gilbert again. He was wrong. (All Human)

  21. Friends with benefits - INCOMPLETE -  'He breaks me every single time.’ They’re best friends & lovers until they’re torn apart by secrets, lies & pride. 'A love like that – consumes until there’s nothing left to break. Destiny leaves you no choice - love conquers all.’ (All Human)

  22. Georgia On My Mind - COMPLETE -  Damon takes Elena on his little road trip to Georgia. Elena, distraught over her resemblence to Katherine, decides to let loose with surprising consequences. (Post Canon)

  23. Gravity - INCOMPLETE -  Sequel to Cannonball - Finally free from the clutches of Mystic Falls and their rivaling families, Damon and Elena are home free. Their love and loyalty to each other is stronger than ever, however they will soon learn that being on the run isn’t all that easy. (All Human)

  24. Guide You Home - INCOMPLETE -  Elena has been a foster kid her whole life, the day she goes out there, trying to find her roots and herself, she meets someone, a man, that will change her life forever. Someone that gives her hope again. (All Human)

  25. Her Mother’s Eyes - COMPLETE -  Damon tries to heal from the death of his wife while raising their small daughter. He thought no one could compare, until he meets Elena Gilbert, who will forever change his, and his daughter’s life. (All Human)

  26. Hindsight - COMPLETE -  After a blissful summer Damon & Elena find themselves surrounded by sad and dark secrets being revealed. While trying to deal with the regularly scheduled Mystic Falls drama of aftermaths and side-effects, they are unexpectedly confronted with Silas’ new macabre plan that threatens to tear them apart forever. (Post Canon)

  27. History - COMPLETE -  Elena Gilbert’s nightmare is just beginning. Picks up right where season one finale left off. No relationship is left unchanged in the aftermath as history comes back to haunt them all… (Post Canon)

  28. If You Can Afford Me - COMPLETE -  Damon is a wealthy businessman in need of…Well sex. Sex kept out of the papers, that is. Elena is a high class call girl able to offer that. What happens when need presents itself and they meet? (All Human)

  29. Inevitable - COMPLETE -  Elena Gilbert and Damon Salvatore are juniors at Mystic Falls High School and they have been best friends and partners in crime for as long as they can remember. When Elena needs Damon to pose as her boyfriend things start heating up between them, but complications arise when you’re dealing with such emotionally damaged people. Is it worth risking a friendship for love? (All Human)

  30. Jump Start to Feeling - COMPLETE -  Elena is paralyzed from the waist down. She doesn’t like Christmas because on top of everything else, her old boyfriend walked out on her because he couldn’t deal with her injury. In walks Damon… (All Human)

  31. Killer’s Insight - COMPLETE -  Elena Gilbert is an FBI trainee who needs information on a case. She has to turn to infamous serial killer Damon Salvatore for his insight and help. Will her connection with him be more than she can handle? (All Human)

  32. Kiss Me, Break My Heart - COMPLETE -  Elena Gilbert has been in love with her best friend Damon Salvatore for years, but when he asks her to help him win back the woman of his dreams, Elena decides she’s had enough. Now Elena wants to move on, but Damon’s not making it easy on her. (All Human)

  33. My Damon - COMPLETE - Damon has become everything he swore to Elena he’d never be, driving her away in the process. When he realizes his mistake, Damon will stop at nothing to win back the love of his life and prove to Elena that he’s still her Damon, always. (All Human)

  34. Near to You - COMPLETE -  Damon and Elena continue to search for Stefan, but they quickly realize he’s a lost cause. While they struggle to fight their feelings for each other obstacles like doppelgangers, Originals, hybrids and the return of Stefan always seem to threaten their new and undefined relationship. Can Delena overcome anything or is their new found connection doomed from the start? (Post Canon)

  35. Oblivion - COMPLETE -  It’s been 4 years since she last saw his blue eyes, or so they say. 4 years since the coma-inducing tragedy that took her parents but let her live. Elena wakes up at 23, with no memory of the years leading up to her accident or the gorgeous man sitting beside her with a ring on his finger. Desperate for answers, Elena embarks on a not so typical amnesia-love story. (All Human)

  36. Physical Attraction, Chemical Reaction - COMPLETE -  It all started with a night of hot sex. Where things could go from there to Elena and Damon? Could they fall for each other although they don’t believe in love anymore? (All Human)

  37. Picking Up the Pieces - COMPLETE - After Damon convinces a reluctant Stefan to leave his exile, things quickly go wrong when Stefan’s reunited with Elena. The outcome leaves Elena shattered, and Damon is there to pick up the pieces. (Post Canon)

  38. Pretend You Love Me - COMPLETE - While their marriage is falling apart, Damon and Elena must learn to get past their demons or lose each other forever. (All Human)

  39. Real Life - COMPLETE - Sequel to Physical Attraction, Chemical Reaction. "Is that what I think it is?” Damon asked as he looked at the tiny pair of plain white handmade crochet booties shoes. She nodded but she was wrong. (All Human)

  40. Restrictor Plate - COMPLETE - Damon is a NASCAR driver with a troubled past and present. Elena is the former love of his life. Both find themselves back in Mystic Falls and employed by Salvatore Racing. With a mountain of baggage between them, including a carefully guarded secret, it’s only a matter of time before they have the “Big One.” (All Human)

  41. Rock Hard, Love Harder - COMPLETE - Damon Salvatore, the lead guitarist of the world-famous band, The Mystic Republic, is used to getting what he wants - women, alcohol and music. But when he realizes he’s falling for the one person who is off limits, the world as he knows it shifts from right under him. What will loving his best friend’s little sister and band manager mean for the band and ultimately, his heart? (All Human)

  42. Self Inflicted Wounds - COMPLETE - “If I had chosen differently, I never would have met you.” Elena chose to kiss Damon. Stefan chose human blood. Katherine chose redemption. Damon chose to confess. These choices change everything. (Post Canon)

  43. Separate Beds - COMPLETE - A heartbreaking tale of love, loss and everything in between. Damon & Elena shared an intense connection from the moment they met, and she ended up pregnant after just one passionate night together. Damon, now engaged to be married to Kat has to make a choice; to please his father or to follow his heart. (All Human)

  44. Settle Down - COMPLETE - Damon Salvatore is a fast-talking, womanizing sports agent, living big in New York City and leaving his childhood in Mystic Falls far behind him. When he returns home for his father’s funeral, he meets Elena Gilbert, a fiery brunette who gets under his skin. Between her and facing his past, returning to Mystic Falls may change his life. (All Human)

  45. Sink or Swim - COMPLETE - Can love born out of a lie? Elena is getting married to a man she thinks she knows but things are not always the way they seem. And trough all the web of lies, would she be able to find true love? (All Human)

  46. Slow Burn Summer - COMPLETE - When the unthinkable happens, it’s never the thing you expected. It’s the thing you never even thought you should be afraid of. (Post Canon)

  47. Small Time Charm - INCOMPLETE -  After nearly 10 years away from small-town Mystic Falls, Damon is summoned back in another punishment from his father. Once there he’s determined to live the good life, having fun, and certainly not doing anything his father wants. Life has something for him when he stumbles upon a little boy getting picked on by some bullies. Saving him brings Damon close to the boy’s mother.(All Human)

  48. Snowbound - COMPLETE - When Elena left Mystic Falls to visit her Aunt in Richmond, she got stuck in the snow with her ex-boyfriend Damon Salvatore? Can she try and mend things up during the short time they have together considering she’s the one that broke his heart? (All Human)

  49. Somebody I Used to Know - COMPLETE - Grieving the sudden death of their parents, Damon and Elena are forced to face their past choices and mistakes. Take a wild a journey through 20 years of their lives…together, apart and everything in between. (All Human)

  50. Someone like you - INCOMPLETE -   You fall in love, get married, fall in love again, get your heart broken. What if it got broken by a heart surgeon that never came back to fix it? (All Human)

  51. Strawberry Wine - INCOMPLETE - It’s funny how those memories they last…Is the first love really the deepest? A decade after her departure Elena Gilbert returns to Mystic Falls to relieve the best years of her life. They say there’s nothing like first love and Damon Salvatore is certainly not an easy man to forget. (All Human)

  52. Swap Out - COMPLETE - If Damon Salvatore believes in one thing, it’s second chances. And fun. And the word “yes.” Okay, so three things. But when asked if he wants to go rock climbing, skydiving, mountain biking, the answer is unequivocally in the affirmative. But dealing with his control-freak tyrant of a boss, Elena Gilbert? That proves to be far more difficult than anyone planned. (All Human)

  53. Sweet and Sexy Mistakes - COMPLETE - An expert on the dynamics between men and women, Damon Salvatore knows his uptight new publicist could use his help getting a date. The only problem is, the more time he spends with her, the more he realizes he doesn’t want her dating anyone but him! (All Human)

  54. Taking Chances - INCOMPLETE - After spending 9 years in the Army, willingly isolated from home Damon Salvatore returns to Mystic Falls to see Elena Gilbert, his brother’s girlfriend and his first love. What he finds is a battered and broken Elena and he’ll do everything in his power to make it right. Can he help her and overcome his own demons or are they both too damaged to take a chance on each other? (All Human)
       
  55. Teenage Diaries - COMPLETE - You think you have it all and one day everything you know vanishes and you can’t stop the downward spiral. Your Parents die in a car crash, your forced to move to a small town and start at a new school. Worse part your pregnant from a one-night stand.(All Human)

  56. The Choices We Make - COMPLETE - It’s 117AD and war has erupted between vampires and werewolves. So what happens when fate brings vampire Damon and a pre-transitioned werewolf Elena together? Just something that results in the creation of the Sun and the Moon curse.(Alternative Universe)

  57. The Rain King - INCOMPLETE -  Sequel to The Queen of Unintended Consequences. Six years after Damon leaves Elena with Klaus, he’s called back to handle a delicate situation. (Post Canon)

  58. The Road Less Traveled - COMPLETE - My version of early S4. Of course there’s angst, but that’s part of what makes it fun. (Post Canon)

  59. The Story of Us - COMPLETE - The past four years have built up to the moment that will define everything for Damon and Elena. When reality comes crashing down around them, they find themselves looking back on the past and trying to decide where to go from here. (All Human)

  60. Their Best Life - EPILOGUE LEFT - Elena and Damon’s romance began in “His Best Girl” but how did they get to that perfect future? Follow their journey through pregnancy, adoption, and much more. (All Human)

  61. Through the Ghost - COMPLETE - Damon, a carefree soldier & Elena, a no-nonsense physical therapist at an Army base met under ordinary circumstances. Stuck between attraction and resistance, they struggled to define their relationship until fate made the decision for them. 4 years later a heartbroken Elena battles to make good on a promise when she discovers nothing but the shell of the only man she’s ever loved. (All Human)

  62. To Save a Sinner - COMPLETE - Damon Salvatore, the new star swimmer and transfer student at MFU, befriends the dark and mysterious Elena Gilbert, a girl the rest of Mystic Falls considers crazy. When he discovers the deep, haunting secrets she keeps from the world, can he handle the truth or will it cost him his heart and even possibly, his sanity? (All Human)

  63. Vagrants MC - INCOMPLETE - Born and raised in Phoenix, Damon Salvatore has everything he needs to lead his father’s M.C., the Vagrants; the thirst for danger every young man has and a shining motorbike ready to lead a shining city. But cue a girl, arriving amid a cloud of flame with trouble on her tail, can Damon step up and deliver what is expected when the Vagrants are threatened? (All Human)

  64. What’s Wrong with Us? - COMPLETE - Adjusting to having a daughter is driving Damon crazy so he hires someone new to help out. Elena has her own secrets & her past but she puts everything aside, falling in love with her employer and his daughter. Juggling therapy, secrets, and exes. (All Human)

  65. Where We Are Now - EPILOGUE LEFT - Still recovering from a bad break-up, Elena moves to Mystic Falls to live with her Aunt Jenna, enrolling at a new school and meeting new friends. But who’s that guy always hanging around her? And what about Damon Salvatore, the 'bad boy’ of this new school and town? (All Human)

  66. Wrong Salvatore - INCOMPLETE - What if Elena got into a car accident and woke up with no memory of the last four years? As she learns to cope with her amnesia she has to also cope with her new life… it was certainly not what she expected. (Post Canon)

Happy reading!

rebel girls in outer space

So (rather than working on my update… because I’m terrible) this very silly piece happened. One of @otterandterrier​‘s prompts for this week was a song. I chose Bikini Kill’s “Rebel Girl” and got a bit carried away. Vaguely inspired by a snippet I think I saw of Mark talking about dancing in his trailer with Harrison. 

You can jam alongside Han & Leia here. Because apparently, riot grrrl punk exists in a galaxy far, far away. 

Warning: lot of language in this one.

Keep reading