she is not a real dog

anonymous asked:

so apparently mani is the one who gave leo his name and not lauren naming him the same as camilas dog..

That’s because Normila is real. Normani misses her ex-lover Camz, so she names Lauren’s dog Leo, since she wasn’t able to adopt a dog, to remember that time when she also named Camila’s dog Leo

😅

anonymous asked:

But soon it will be baby Acar-Bakkoush who Elias, Sana and Yousef are competing who loves the baby more

im,,,,,,,,,,,,shook,,,,,truly. this is the Real battle omg they would all spoil them except for sana bc she thinks they all spoil the baby SO much bc honestly??? those puppy dog eyes could make everyone do anything

I absolutely love all the space australia/ humans are weird/space orcs things going around, so I haven’t been able to stop thinking about stuff like metaphors and idioms and figurative speech. Like, what if those had been purely human concepts?

Human: “He really broke Omar’s heart”

Alien: “What?? Is Omar still alive? Can he be healed? Is it culturally appropriate to seek out revenge?”

Human: “No, no, like… He hurt him badly.”

Alien: “Yes I understand that your cardiovascular system is important.”

- - -

Human: “She’s a real wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

Alien: “What is a wolf?”

Human: “It’s a predator - you know, the one dogs descent from?”

Alien: “… She looks human. How do you know the value of her clothes?”

- - -

Human: “That dickhead stabbed me in the back”

Alien: “MEDIC!!!!”

- - -

Human 1: “Wish me luck!”

Human 2: “Break a leg!”

*Horrified aliens in the background*

text messages.

[ 📲 • sms ] —— what are you doing?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— are you trying to drunk text me rn?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— hey what are you doing?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— didn’t you get my last text?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— are you ignoring me?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i’m so bored!
[ 📲 • sms ] —— hey you 😉
[ 📲 • sms ] —— blue is definitely your color 😉
[ 📲 • sms ] —— ugh i wish you were here!
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i think you’re going to like what you see 😉
[ 📲 • sms ] —— you’ve been on my mind all day today.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i can’t stop thinking about you.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— are you gonna fall asleep on me?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— NO don’t fall asleep on me again tonight!
[ 📲 • sms ] —— you fell asleep on me last night! you owe me now
[ 📲 • sms ] —— send me a picture 😉
[ 📲 • sms ] —— hey cutie! haven’t talked to you in a while!
[ 📲 • sms ] —— why did you stop texting me?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— hey can i call you now?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— call me rather talk on the phone
[ 📲 • sms ] —— sweet dreams….with me in them 😉 jk
[ 📲 • sms ] —— oooooh, i like the sound of that 😉
[ 📲 • sms ] —— what are you doing tomorrow?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— do you wanna hang out tomorrow?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— what do you wanna do tomorrow? ☺️
[ 📲 • sms ] —— you looked really good today.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— can’t wait to see you xoxo
[ 📲 • sms ] —— talk dirty to me
[ 📲 • sms ] —— maybe i can stay the night with you tomorrow
[ 📲 • sms ] —— dang you take long enough to text back.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— you are the slowest texter ever. 😒
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i hate texting you sometimes. you take forever.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— you take forever and a day to reply.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i was wondering where you went.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— what happened? where did you go?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— k.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— ok that’s cool.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— what’s wrong with you?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— hey where was you today?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— do you wanna come over?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— why are you texting me? i’m standing right beside you…
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i hate one word texters.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— stop one wording me. 😒
[ 📲 • sms ] —— are you mad at me?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— what do you wanna talk about?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— do you like me?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i love you 😍
[ 📲 • sms ] —— miss you 😘
[ 📲 • sms ] —— stop sending me that wink face.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— are you okay?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i’m gonna take a shower brb
[ 📲 • sms ] —— hold on i gotta do something real quick.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— are you trying to sext me?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— my dog/cat said he/she missed you.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— what’s your dog/cat doing?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— what are you watching?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i see how it is 😜
[ 📲 • sms ] —— you can’t text me but you can be on facebook/twitter/instagram/
[ 📲 • sms ] —— how come you never text me anymore?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i gave you my number so you could text me punk 😛
[ 📲 • sms ] —— you never text me back anymore ☹️
[ 📲 • sms ] —— sorry didn’t mean to bug you
[ 📲 • sms ] —— you only text me when i text you first.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— you never text me first!
[ 📲 • sms ] —— wanna go catch a movie tomorrow?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— what do you mean by that status you posted?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— guess what emoji is next to your name in my phone?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— hey stranger. stop being a stranger.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— did you miss me? 😆
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i’m looking through your pictures right now.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i saw that selfie you just posted.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— you text me after i upload a bomb selfie i see.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— it’s okay you don’t to lie to me.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— aww, that was so sweet. ☺️ 
[ 📲 • sms ] —— aww, that just made me smile. ️☺️☺️ 
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i s2g i’m punching you so hard the next time i see you.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— i s2g you get on my nerves.
[ 📲 • sms ] —— hey there ! remember me ?
[ 📲 • sms ] —— are you going to ignore me again tomorrow?

Lena has a dog that is absolutely in love with Kara. Every time she comes to the apartment, the dog runs up excitedly then immediately rolls onto his back, because Kara gives the best belly rubs in the universe.

Kara is equally in love with him. She squeals and calls him a special nickname every time greets her.

One day, Lena has her dog in the office when Supergirl flies in for official business. He starts to get real excited before she can even see Supergirl, and then immediately rolls onto his back on the balcony. Lena then hears a very familiar squeal and a name that exactly one person calls her dog.

And that’s how Lena’s dog uncovers Supergirl’s secret identity. 

anonymous asked:

Steve's puppy is in love with his shield. She insists on sleeping in it, eating out of it, and is not impressed when Steve tries to swap in a replica to fool her.

Tabitha was tiny and black and white with a little black spot around one eye and Sam took one look at her and joked that she had the same worried crease between her eyes that Steve did.

He’d adopted her from down South, a pit mix of some kind that was attentive and sweet.  And curious. Snuffling around his gear and when she tipped his shield over on accident she went scurrying away, only to creep back when it didn’t chase her and nose at it until she realized it was perfect for a rocking-bed.   

Steve took approximately 300 pictures and decided there was no harm in letting her doze in his shield while he set up her bed and bowls and toys and made sure he’d puppy-proofed everything.

Only.

Only that wasn’t the end of it.  A week later, and she was still nudging it with her nose until it tipped over and snuggled in for the night every night.  He’d given her a meat bone earlier in the day and she’d trotted off with it, tail high, to curl up in his shield and chew on it.

It was on his next mission he decided things had to change.  The fur could be easily brushed away and the bone bits washed off, but the leather straps had little teeth marks in them that would soon be big teeth marks and Steve realized he might have encouraged a bad habit without meaning to because it happened to be cute.

So he bought her one of the plastic replicas he found on Amazon and set it on the floor for her.  She was interested at first but had barely gotten a paw in it before she pulled back and left it for his actual shield.  He put treats in it and tried redirection and she kept stubbornly (like you, Sam smirked as he filmed some of Steve’s unsuccessful retraining) refusing to use the plastic shield.  

He went on Etsy and bought a cosplay replica that was an impressive facsimile.  So good, Tabitha laid down in it.  

For five minutes.  

It was Clint who finally fixed everything, sending T’Challa a series of photos and a note that simply read “a little help?”.

A week after that, a package arrived from Wakanda.  Inside, a perfect replica of Steve’s shield in pink, white, and blue with “Tabitha America” painted on it and half-dozen leather straps for her to chew.

Pre-Kerberos! Matt HC

[Pre-Kerberos! Matt]

★ Matt is the whitest of the whites, he eats one hot chip and it’s game over.

★ He’s allergic to pickles

★ He got Katie into aliens and cryptids

  • He doesn’t regret it                                                                             

★ Him and Shiro were friends, even before the Garrison.

★ He’s a little shit, the Garrison teachers expected him to be the perfect student since he was Sam and Colleen’s son.

  • They were wrong, he started a black market and wasn’t found out until it was too late. He made more than $500 bucks cash.

★ Whenever he was called into the office to talk about his future he just answered with “Kick ass, go to space, represent the human race.”

The cost of losing a bet with him was high

  • Once a kid had to go up to Iverson and ask if he was a furry and if his boyfriend was bigfoot.
  • They were required to help Iverson for the rest of the year during their free hour.

★ Anytime anyone asked if him and Shiro were dating, he did finger guns and awkwardly backed away.

★ Has been the cause of the science lab blowing up at least 5 times.

  • Shiro was apart of three of them.

★ Puns were his shit no one could escape

  • Shiro does this make us…..Kerbros?”
  • “If it weren’t for the laws of this land, I would’ve slaughtered you, Matt.”

★ Would fight you if you said Pluto wasn’t a planet

★ Is the most oblivious of people, two kids had a crush on him at the same time and he never noticed

  • But he can somehow notice when people have crushes on each other??

★ He met Neil Degrasse Tyson once and cried

★ Katie and him show their love by roasting each other on the daily

★ “I know you love those peas, Dad.” was only the tip of the Yikesburg™ .

★ He dyed Shiro’s hair once

  • It went as well as expected
  • It was neon blue

★ He smuggled Pidge into the Garrison once with the help of Shiro

  • Keith found them dragging her through the window
  • He just stared silently and walked away

★ He can do a perfect Yoda impression

  • Katie sadly found out when she on the verge of sleep at 3am

★ Subs always liked him for some reason, no one really knew how or why though.

★ He could name all 206 bones in the human body, and he taught Keith how to break every one of them

★ Katie popped out the lens in his back-up prescription glasses

  • He cried

★ He can quote back to the future word for word

★ “What are you gonna do punch me???”

  • The kid decked him
  • He broke their leg

★ He threatened to sell Katie to the Garrison for a pizza

  • A guy’s gotta do what they gotta do to get some decent food

★ “How’d you do in your flight test, Matt?” “Oh, I nearly killed Shiro. it’s chill though.”

★ He cries whenever he sees dogs since the Garrison is in the middle of nowhere

  • He once cried for more dog deaths in three school days than his entire life

★ “Hey Matt, high-five the stars for me okay?” “Of course, Katie.”

  • She hasn’t found out if he did or not.

★ It was his idea to name their dog Gunther

  • “What the fuck, Matt” “It haS CHARACTER KATIE”

★ Him and his mom are kickass together.

  • Everyone is low-key terrified of them

★ He crashed his bike into a tree once

  • “Lol you guys will never guess what happened”
  • “What”
  • “My bone is no longer in my leg”

★ “Do you think Iverson and—” “I’m gonna stop you right there.”

★ He hacked the speakers in the Garrison to play Bill Nye the Science Guy when someone said he wasn’t a real scientist

★ Believes in the multiverse theory and soulmates

  • Maybe in some other universe him and Shiro are happy

★ He’s pan and poly, fight me   

  • Katie got him a shirt that read “Pans for Bigfoot”    
  • He wore it everywhere

★ He finished the office in a week and stares at a security camera whenever something stupid happens

★ Someone confessed to him once and he panicked and said “Thank you”

★ Matt is actually a super good crossdresser???

  • Shiro and Keith are surprised???
  • Katie had to get it from somewhere y’all

★ Lowkey likes to make fun of Keith for being Texan

  • “Y’all’d’ve done good if y’all had listened to me.”
  •  “I hate living because of you, Matt.”

★ Bill Nye the Science Guy is his dad and you can’t tell him otherwise.

  • He’ll fight you if you say he isn’t a real Scientist

★ MATT REALLY LIKES AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER, LIKE I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN IT BUT I KNOW HE DOES.

★ Him and Katie learned Latin for kicks

★ Speaks fluent meme

★ **Drops one piece of candy on his room floor** “,,,,,,,,” **Kneels down to look for it**

★ 10/10 doesn’t know how to handle any crushes he has

  • He realized he had a crush on Shiro with the “help” of Katie and Keith
  • He tried to eat an entire jar of pickles afterwards

★ “Matt, you have a crush on my brother, admit it” “New glasses, who dis?”

★ “Shiro, when I was your age,,,,,,” “One day, you’re just not going to wake up.”

★ He somehow convinced Shiro to dress up as Watson while he was Sherlock

★ Hamilton’s number 1 fan

★ He spits out facts at random

  • “Y’know Alexander Hamilton spelt Philadelphia wrong in our Constitution?” 
  • Katie, who has been running on 3 hours of sleep: please shut tf up

★ “You’re a little shit Matt” “Atleast I don’t quote Fairy Tail any chance i get”

★ Matt: THIS BITCH EMPTY 
★ Katie, grabbing his backpack full of assignments from the Garrison: Y E E T

★ He hates coffee but will drink 5 cans of soda in an hour

★ “YOOOOO I TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY WANT” “SO TELL ME WANT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT” “I WANNA–”

  • Sam Holt voice: Please,,,,just go to sleep”

★ He’s a Gryffindor

★ Someone bet him that he couldn’t eat 2 of the new Grand Macs

  • He ate 4, Katie ate 5
  • Everyone was impressed and low-key terrified

★ Shiro: bro take off your glasses
★ Matt: bro everything’s a blur
★ Shiro: that’s my life without you
 Matt, tearfully: Bro… 

Iverson: any questions?
Matt: Yeah, first of all, how dare you?

★ “Would you slap Katie for $2,000?” “I’d break both of Katie’s arms and my own leg for a small fry from McDonald's”

★ Shiro gave him one of his sweaters when it was cold out once

  • Shiro hasn’t seen it since

★ He had an emo phase that lasted 2 months before he got tired of the eyeliner

  • Katie likes to bring it up at the worst times

He’s covered in bandaids 90% of the time

  • Most times it’s because he and Katie were fucking around while building smth

★ “The amount of uses for a dead horse is infinite” “Matt, honestly, just go to church”

★ His mind is just a constant loop of that scene in VeggieTales where the realized they didn’t have hands and just sadly looked at each other

★ “KATIE POKEMON PIDGEOTTO HOLT

★ Mashed potatoes can and should fuck him up

★ Learned to play the kazoo for meme opportunity

★ Once burnt off one of his eyebrows from boiling water

★ Him and Katie do the handshake thing from Zack and Cody

★ Whenever someone asks to see a picture of Katie, he just pulls out a picture of Pidgey from Pokémon

  • Matt: Isn’t she pretty?

★ He beat every island in poptropica

★ He can make really nice flower crowns nobody has questioned it

★ He talks with his hands a lot

  • He’s hit Keith in the face more than once because of it

★ You know when it snowed in Egypt for the first time in years and that guy had that giant ass snowball and was gonna fucking dunk it on his friend?

  • That’s Matt

★ He can dance?? Where did he learn it? Nobody knows

★ “Keith I came as soon as i heard! I can’t believe it I knew you two were close”
★“Wtf are you talking about?”
★“Punk is dead, Keith”

★ When the rumour that MCR was coming back you bet your ass Matt was ready to blast every song whenever he saw Keith

★ “I’m Matt, the radar technician”

★ He recreated BB-8 from Star Wars: The Force Awakens and cried

★ “Bitch, I am a gift of God, square up”

  • Get it? Because Matthew means gift of God??

★ He can solve a rubix cube behind his back in under 35 seconds

★ If he laughs hard enough he’ll start snorting

  • 50% of the time he won’t notice because he’s too busy laughing
  • The other 50% he’ll stop and frown in disgust at his own snort

★ He found out Shiro poured his milk in before the cereal and kicked him out their dorm

Matt: Hey, Shiro, want to stay for dinner?
Colleen: Do you want to stay forever?

★ Iverson lowkey reminds him of Snape, so by default he just doesn’t like him

★ “Work, work!” “Matthew!”
    “Work, work!” “Katherine!”
    “,,,,,and Keith”
    “The conspiracy theorists!”

★ Unlike his sister, he likes to garden and starts one in their backyard with their mom

★ Matt would totally force Shiro to cosplay Team Rocket for Halloween with Pidge being Meowth and Keith being an edgier version of Ash Ketchum

  • Shiro as Jessie and Matt as James of course

★ He owns every pokemon game in existence

  • Pokemon Snap was his shit when he was like 7
  • He 360 noscoped the Pokemon with apples

★ Has read all of the Harry Potter books three times

★ He tried to teach Shiro how to dance

  • They never finished though because neither of them could take the sexual tension

★ He was more into the galaxies and multiple universes part of space, while Katie was excited for the tech advances 

  • They were both 100% ready for aliens though

★ Shiro told him he couldn’t create the Marauders Map, so he did out of spite

★ Talked in nothing but Shakespeare for a day to piss off Katie

★ He loved ducktales

  • Too bad he can’t see the reboot

★ Barbie and the 12 dancing princesses was his shit

★ When Katie was born, he brought a potato with him when he went to the hospital to compare the two

★ He always wore sweaters that didn’t quite fit him, so he could have Sweater Paws

★ There was a supposed ‘haunted’ house on his street, so him Katie and the Broganes all snuck out to investigate

  • A window broke while they were in there
  • Keith shapeshifted into Sonic and bolted, Katie started hysterically crying and laughing at the same time as she ran, and Matt jumped into Shiro’s arm and Shiro fuckin’ booked it
  • They all agreed not to talk about it

★ Once in gym, a ball was about to hit someone in the face but instead of yelling “duck!” he yelled “dICK”

  • To this day no one has let him live it down

★ Uses an absurd amount of emoticons when texting

★ 10/10 would meme again

★ Used the word “Yo” too many times to count

★ Tried to bury Katie underneath a bunch of snow when she was 10

★ He can’t swim

★ He’s cried during nearly every Disney and Pixar movie


[Read Part Two// Post-Kerberos! Matt HC here!]

Forget me not

It’s been about a year since my last Miraculous Ladybug fanfic list. Given the fandom is three years old and season 2 is right around the corner (hopefully), I believe it’s time to relive and explore some of the best fanfics the fandom has to offer. By no means is this list comprehensive. Many fics aren’t on here. (I’m working on a list for newer fics, so stay tuned!)

Rainy Days by @thelastpilot (Not rated)
A storm rolls through Paris and refuses to let up, so when a water fearing cat is rescued by the kind efforts of his designing classmate he starts to pay a little closer attention to someone he should have always known better.

he’s not a siren by @miraculousturtle (Rated T)
Merman AU. Their meeting is orchestrated by fate, conducting them one at a time to step on the stage. With the flick of the baton, in time, they will sing the same song, but only if they aren’t swept away by the ocean’s mighty waves.

An Unexpected Surprise by @sweetprincessluck (Rated M)
Adrien Agreste. Age 26. A successful international supermodel, currently changing careers to a CEO of a fashion empire. Was born and raised in Paris, had moved to the USA 6 years ago, came back for a visit. Kind, handsome, lonely. Had experienced a lot, had seen even more. Had nothing left that could surprise him anymore.Except, maybe, this - a small, blonde girl, with emerald eyes and freckles scattered across the bridge of her nose – a splitting image of his mother Lillian Agreste, excluding, perhaps, the freckles.Her name was Emma. Emma Dupain-Cheng, to be exact.

Obsession by @kryallaorchid (Rated T)
Miraculous has unintended side effects. A chance encounter leaves Chat Noir in Marinette’s magic hands. Scritch and scratch, this kitty has needs. MariChat. 

Smoulder by @midnightstarlightwrites (Rated T)
In which Adrien loses a bet and becomes an underwear model, Marinette loses her mind, and the whole fiasco starts a fire which might lead to the pair discovering their identities.

Retrouvailles by @gigiree (Rated G)
There’s an art to telling stories. There’s an art to ending them. Just know that saying “the end” is just another way of saying it’s a new beginning. When she says goodbye, her luck is gone. His has just begun.Tattoo and Flowershop AU!

Over the Wall by @imthepunchlord (Rated G)
The accident, while unintentional, was costly. For her wrong doings against Chloe, Marinette is sent over the wall to die. But instead of death, she winds up in a strange, unnerving world. Good thing she’ll have a cat to watch her back in this bizarre place.

Chasing the C/h/atwalk by @runningoutofink (Rated T)
Paris. The city of lights, love and fashion. Follow the progress of Marinette Dupain Cheng as she enters the extremely competitive world of Reality television for a chance to be the winner of Project Runway: France.

Lucky Us by @geek-fashionista (Rated T)
-AU- Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s life isn’t going as planned: twenty-six, recently dumped, and running her parents’ bakery. The highlights of her day are the emails sent by her mysterious pen pal, Chat Noir. That is, until handsome model Adrien Agreste starts swinging by the bakery after hours. But how is he to know the Ladybug he loves is standing right in front of him?

Guardians by @wintermoth (Rated T)
In the year 2015, Marinette Dupain-Cheng said yes to Tikki, the kwami of Creation. Two days later, Adrien Agreste said yes to Plagg, the kwami of Destruction.For the first time in over a thousand years, the cat and the bug were starting fresh. (immortal AU)

Découvrir by @xiueryn (Rated M)
A decade apart and he still remembered her. Marinette contacts her childhood friend in hopes of rekindling their forgotten relationship despite him being a celebrity, only to assume him to be someone else entirely. AU.

Bare Necessities by @reyxa (Rated M)
Art School AU where Adrien is the nude model in Marinette’s human figure class. Major sin warning but it’s more awkward than sexy. Definitely not for little ears… or eyes I guess…

Serendipitous Fate by @skaylanphear (Rated M)
Adrien is excited to reveal his true identity, while Marinette is terrified. But Master Fu says they can’t afford to be distant any longer. Chat Noir and Ladybug are meant to work in tandem both in and out of uniform, their strength stemming from the bond created between them. Yet, teenagers are sometimes better at dancing blind than running with wide open eyes, even with the steps laid out before them.Steps in the path of an expanding world. Apart, they’ll flounder. But together, they might just stand a chance.

Tikki’s New Friend by @panda013 (Rated G)
The dog was easily the height of his chest, and the young woman walking it could have only come up to his shoulder. But she was just cheerfully walking along beside the dog, chatting and laughing happily with a redheaded young woman. The dog was a big black beast—he didn’t know the breed then, nor did he particularly care, but it whined pitifully when its equally dark-haired owner paused to read a street sign. She just giggled and reached out a hand to ruffle its fur, and the giant’s tail wagged happily.

heartstrings by @zenwisterias (Rated T)
one of marinette’s rare unlucky days turns into something treacherous. thanks to a certain cat, the real danger passes, but there are other things to be more afraid of. her heart, for example, might be one of them.

The Ladybugs and the Bees by @bullysquadess (Rated M)
This originally started as a fanfic about periods and just devolved into crack.

You Don’t Know Me by @ferisae (Rated T)
When Ladybug suffers a near-fatal accident and is presumed dead, it is up to Adrien - who has discovered Ladybug’s secret - to help her through her painstaking recovery and reacquaint her with herself. All this while trying to save Paris on his own without losing himself in the process.

Satisfaction Brought It Back by @siderealsandman (Rated E)
Most people rekindled friendships with people from high school over Facebook or Twitter. Most people met for coffee, shared pictures of their bratty children, and sent old friends Christmas letters once a year. Marinette was clearly not most people as she had somehow hooked up with her former high school crush on a bondage dating website and didn’t know it until he was standing in front of her with an identical look of bemused embarrassment plastered all over his pretty face.

A Werecat in London by @i-am-thornqueen (Rated M)
After an unfortunate encounter with an akuma while in London on a business trip, Chat Noir is forced to deal with the unexpected consequences. Can Ladybug help him return to his normal self, or will he be stuck for the rest of his life getting in touch with his wild side?

tangled ribbons by @demistories (Rated G)
Marinette is a small studio dancer who wins a scholarship to a summer long ballet intensive. Adrien is a famous ballet dancer who would rather be at home than at said intensive. The end of the summer will bring about a showcase that could make Marinette’s career, if she can ignore Chloé and focus on something other than Adrien.

The Space Between Us by @chassecroise (Rated T)
What’s a ladybug to do when her kitten becomes a cat?

Accident of the Evening by @thatwriterchickrachel (Rated T)
Adrien Agreste, rumoured royalty, just wants a normal life. But one night on the run he meets Marinette, a normal girl, with a normal life. Marinette can’t believe it. Her long-time celebrity crush had crashed into her life and was now hanging out with her and her friends in between his busy schedule.With the Annual Parisian Masquerade Ball approaching, and an announcement sure to change everything looming over them, the two young adults begin a friendship and a double life.

Emergence by @artisticflutter (Rated M)
They were only teenagers, but they are no more. Forced to awaken to new powers, both find themselves codependent on the other in order to survive and escape from their captors. They are Ladybug and Chat Noir - they are Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste. Part One of a possible series.

The Lights that Lead Us Home by @oceanspray5 (Rated G)
Based on @piku-chan’s Cinderella AU on Tumblr. Marinette remains at the Palace to train as a noble and Adrien takes on more responsibilities as King. The wedding is planned for the Prince and his Princess and despite any outside meddling forces, goes off without a hitch.

Le Chat Noir by ParadiseAvenger (Rated E)
Le Chat Noir was the most popular strip club in Paris. Marinette could explain how she wound up there the first time, but she couldn’t explain how she kept coming back.

The Wingman Visits by @niuniente (Rated M)
When Chat Noir finds out Ladybug’s real identity as Marinette, he also discovers her huge crush for Adrien. As a gentleman he is Chat Noir offers to be a wingman between Marinette and Adrien, trying to get them together.

Sealed away by @ashesandhoney (Rated T)
Five years ago, Ladybug left Paris and left Chat Noir to learn how to keep it together on his own.Marinette is back in Paris with an internship at the Agreste Fashion house trying to get the spring show up and running and as much as Adrien appreciates having a friend at work, he’s distracted by Ladybug’s return and more Akuma attacks than either of them have faced before.Something big is coming and nothing can stay sealed away forever.

Cut from the Same Cloth by @baneismydragon (Rated T)
When Gabriel notices that Adrien is collecting various supplies from his office, he assumes that his son has finally decided to show an interest in the family business. However when he tries to show his support by showing up at a school presentation, things quickly spiral out of control and everyone learns more than they bargained for

Désolé by @pozolegirl (Rated G)
‘The Cat’s out of the Bag’ as Adrien would say, and now Marinette and Adrien must work through their emotions during this new reveal of identities, all while Hawkmoth is hot on their trail and not about to let them slip away from him, taking matters into his own hands.

Sing the Song of Sailing Sirens by @princessofharte (Rated T)
Adrien Agreste is the Pirate Lord of the High Seas, chasing a British flagship until Le Chat Noir is blown off course into a green storm.

This is not a complete list of the best fics in the fandom. Many of these authors have written multiple fanfics for this fandom and they are all amazing. Indeed, many of the fics on AO3 with the most hits, the most kudos, and the most comments were other fics not mentioned here but completed by many of these authors. Every work of fanfiction is amazing. If you want to help encourage writers to write more awesome fanfiction, please leave a comment on their works. It can be as short as “This is great!” Seriously. We live off validation.

It’s not narcissism if I add in my own fic here, right?

Was there anything I missed? Leave it in the reblogs and spread the word so that others–including myself–can read it!

Make fun of my kid? I'll get you back somehow.

So I am not sure if this belongs in @prorevenge, sense it wasn’t planned on my part. It kind of just fell in my lap. Feels more than petty, so here I am.

For a bit of background: My next door neighbor is/was a college student. She lives with our actual neighbor, her boyfriend. Typical crazy college kid. Weekend parties, drinking on her patio all hours of the night, and weird hours. You know the drill. I figured she was trying to experience college life, so why not? You do you lady!

Anyways one summer night last year she was sitting out on her back patio with her girlfriends doing their drunk thing. I am out wrapping up on some stuff with my toddler daughter. She at the time had a medical thing going on that caused her to walk a little weird. Nothing life altering and something that would heal with time. She did have a weeble waddle to her, especially when running. Sometimes she would fall right over. She was out running around with the dog and the ladies next door were waving and telling her how cute she was. All good.

Keep reading

restingbitchfaceisnotsadface  asked:

"I can start with how I went to marine science camp as a kid and end with that time I accidentally brought a flamethrower into the county courthouse" --- PLEASE EXPLAIN IM SO CONFUSED D:

So, when I was a kid, my parents worked full time, so during the summer, my sister and I were enrolled in day-camp so we’d be adequately tired when we got home, and my FAVORITE  camp was Marine Science Camp, run by MSI on the banks of redwood creek, right off the San Francisco bay.  It was AWESOME: we got to dissect squid, there was a literal shark tank, which we got to fish leopard sharks out of and Tag Them For Scientific Research, ad we’d go out on the boat once a week and do things like haul a net full of fish out, use a scoop to study benthic creatures and look at plankton under a microscope.  I realize now we were essentially doing transects, dissections and other field/lab work for a bunch of grad students but it was FUN.  

I totally wanted to be a marine biologist when I grew up and would tell anyone who asked me what I was into about nematocyts and oceanic acidification until The Adult realized their mistake and fled.

At the same time, I was pursing an aggressive interest in the visual arts, which my parents heavily encouraged, becuase they are excellent parents and because it;s was a QUIET hobby unlikely to result in bodily harm, unlike my sister, who got into karate and Theater, which is a surprising dangerous combination.

But then i got to college and realized an issue with this plan: I, hands down, SUCK at chemistry.  I did okay in into becuase I’m great at taking standardized tests, and the teacher got suspended halfway through the semester for getting into a fistfight with another prof for poaching his grad student, but Organic Chemistry was a disaster.  I’ve never been good at arithmetic, and balancing chemical equations is something i need the dang molecule models for. So marine bio was a No-Go.

So I switched my major over to Art, which turned out to be kind of a disaster (the school managed to lose an entire semester of my grades because the Art Department kept really sloppy records and i ended up dropping out and resuming college elsewhere) and AMAZING, becuase I took a human figure drawing course with professor [REDACTED] who announced on the third day of class:  “SWEET THE FOOLS JUST GAVE ME TENURE.  CAN’T FIRE ME NOW, SO LEMME SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE A FLAMETHROWER”

The thing she actually taught us was how to modify a culinary butane torch to empty the canister at a much higher rate than any manufacturer anywhere recommends, which gives you and AWESOME bigass jet of blue flame, but only lasts about 30 seconds per container.  She also showed us how to make bandeliers so we could carry multiple containers, “just in case”.

In more practical lessons, we were in class when the first gov’t shutdown happened, so we didn’t have money for models, so she oped to bring in various animals for us to draw instead.  there was the usual cats and dogs, but also chickens, horses, a farm hog, a 12-foot Burmese Python and a baby deer that had been abandoned on her porch.  It was really fun, both becuase animals are amazing, and becuase they don’t hold still, so you learn to draw REAL FAST, which is a skill that’s served me well since.

A few years later, I was summoned for Jury Duty, and had to show up at the courthouse for selection.  HOWEVER, I’d put my usual bag in the wash the previous night, so I grabbed my old school backpack to take with me because I knew I had a sketchbook in there to amuse myself with.

I forgot I also had my flamethrower in there.

I live in a pretty low-crime area, so the metal detectors are actually pretty far into the building- you don’t get scanned until you’re actually going into the courtroom.  So for about three hours beforehand, I was sitting in the hallway having a Nice Chat with one of the state park rangers and the CEO of the local call center.  We get called in, and as we walk through, my backpack sets off the alarm.

“Fuck.” I say abruptly remembering what would have set it off.

“Do you have anything metal in your backpack?” the security guy asks me.  I think he was expecting me to say glasses.

“I forgot that I have my flamethrower in here. I’ll just leave this outside.”  I explain, hoping I’m not about to be arrested.

“Please open your bag or leave it outs- your WHAT?”  Dude stops halfway through his routine.

“Flamethrower.  I made it in art class and will definitely be leaving it here.” I say, carefully putting my bag on the table, zipper open , and pointing at the small butane torch.  The guard looks at it, looks at me (pls note, I am small, white, feminine and conventionally attractive so YOU BET privilege was happening here), before deciding that Art People Are Dumb and waving me in after wanding me to make sure I hadn’t accidentally brought anything else in my pockets.

I was not selected for jury duty.

In other news, I still have it, and it still works.  I use it for mass-toasting creme brulee.

my fave nhl duos as house hunters couples

sidney crosby and evgeni malkin: sidney has a list of exactly 87 Must Haves and is not willing to compromise. he tears house number 1 apart, the real estate agent is genuinely scared. geno just likes house number 2 because it’s walking distance from an ice cream shop. they end up picking house number 3, even though it’s out of their budget.

sean monahan and johnny gaudreau: sean keeps repeating that he wants “good water pressure and not a long commute.” the real estate agent keeps trying to get something else out of him, but apparently that’s all he’s concerned with. johnny wants a big kitchen and fridge “for my protein shakes… trying to bulk up, you know.”

morgan rielly and jake gardiner: are actually sickeningly in love. mo keeps saying things like “oh jake would really like that,” and gards keeps saying, “mo that would be really great for you.” they end up getting a place with a pool and like 4 extra rooms “for the kids.” the real estate agent was not aware they had kids. (they don’t have kids. they have rookies.)

patrice bergeron and brad marchand: marchy has a ton of very random demands. bergy just shrugs and says, “we’re just moving so he’ll stop bitching at me about our current house.” marchy wants house number 2 even though it’s way out of their budget. bergy just rolls his eyes and says, “zdeno owes me forty bucks, i knew you’d go over budget.”

dylan larkin and zach werenski: have literally no idea what they’re looking for, so they keep using buzzwords like “open concept” and “granite countertops” and “master bath.” the real estate agent has no fucking clue what they want, so they show them three apartments, because there’s no way these guys are ready for a house, right??? they end up choosing the first place, because when they walked in one wall was painted like an american flag.

nicklas backstrom and alex ovechkin: ovi is adamant about having a walk-in closet and a jacuzzi tub. nicky wants a space for a workout room and a big master bedroom. they both want a large kitchen, despite the fact that neither of them can cook. they end up in a place that has tacky wallpaper all over the walls because ovi is in love.

nate mackinnon and jonathan drouin: everytime nate says something, jo says, “nathan, that’s ridiculous, you’re ridiculous.” the real estate agent doesn’t know whether to listen to nate’s “gotta have a game room,” or jo’s “adults without children don’t have game rooms, nathan,” so she shows them a place with a “multi-purpose room” as a compromise. 

tyler seguin and jamie benn: the amount of times they use the phrase “dog-friendly” is frankly absurd. the real estate agent shows them a place with a hot tub and they both say “duuuuuuude,” for a solid minute. they don’t end up picking that one, though, because house number 3 is right by a golf course and they go nuts over it. they buy a hot tub for the house.

sebastian aho and teuvo teravainen: sebastian only says nice things about the house and shrugs whenever the real estate agent asks him direct questions. teuvo just keeps saying they want a nice bath tub and to be close to the hockey rink. the real estate agent shows them a nice house with a big living room and a pool and neither of them really say anything but they keep poking each other and nodding at the pool or the fireplace and smiling.

Reasons my patient might be a Fey

I have some small concerns that one of my patients might be a Fey or other faerie creature. Here are the facts about her:

  • White cat with odd coloured eyes, and deaf.
  • Stunning, immaculate long white fur.
  • Never a mark on her, despite frequent free roaming outside
  • Was rescued by her humans when she was approximately 6 weeks old. They found her trapped under an old tree by the road outside their house.
  • Where she was trapped, somebody (or something) had been trying to either dig her out or poke her with sticks, which were still stuck in the ground.
  • Day after her rescue, the tree was cut down and the stump dug up
  • Since her acceptance into the household, both family dogs passed away within a year of each other
  • The geriatric, black, blind cat however is unharmed, and actually had a few health scares that turned out to be nothing in the end.

Physically and medically she appears to be a perfectly normal cat, but I just…wonder.

M a s t e r p o s t

Finally, right? I’ll keep updating this.

▧Fics/Scenarios▨

◆SFW◆

Crack fic W/ Driver Kim

Zen finding MC’s hentais/doujinshis of him

V‘s art gallery filled w/photos of self-conscious MC

Mystic Messenger High School AU –CHs~5/?

How Jumin Reacts when Elly Dies

VxReader AfterEnding

◆NSFW◆

-AU-

Songbird-Mafia!AU–CHs~4/?

Control -Hacker MC/Sworn enemies fic 707xMC–Chs~3/?

-Saeyoung-

Saeyoung/707xReader -Being called wrong brother in bed

Saeyoung/707xReader -Jealous Saeyoung Sex

Saeyoung/707xReader -Work distraction sex

Saeyoung/707xReader -silly makeup sex

Saeyoung/707xReader -Camera strip show

-Saeran-

SaeranxReader-MC who tries to be sexy but back out–drabble

SaeranxReader -Cheating on Saeyoung fic w/MC –CHs~4/4

SaeranxReader -Being called wrong brother in bed

SaeranxReader -Post nightmare sex

-Jumin-

JuminxReader -phone sex

JuminxReader -Fluffy smut(if you squint real hard u can see the fluff)

-V-

VxReader -V calling MC ‘Rika’ in bed –CHs~2/2

VxReader -stormy night sex

-Yoosung-

YoosungxReader -Shower play

-Zen-

ZenxReader -phone sex

▧Headcanons▨

◆Reaction to…◆

RFA if they ran their own kingdoms & How they meet MC

Victorias Secret shopping with MC

MC who doesn’t come home cause she got drunk with friends

JuminxZen fluff 

Jumin and Saeyoung when MC turns into a cat 

Saeyoung going grocery shopping for real food 

MC gifting Jumin with another cat for V-Day

MC grieving the death of a loved one

Going to a con w/cosplayer MC

‘Special Brownies’ with MC

MC who is afraid after scary movie

Saeran adopting Sae+MC daughter after their death

MC not wanting kids

Jumin falling for barista MC

Jaehee wedding with MC

MC dancing provocatively in the club

What everyone does for Valentine’s Day

MC getting a cup stuck on her face

What style of dance they would all dance

RFA+Saeran idea of a perfect date

MC adopting an old dog without telling them

Romantic V HCs

Mafia!Jaehee

Mafia!Zen

Mafia!Saeyoung + Mafia!Jumin

Mafia!Yoosung

Mafia!AU headcanons

Zen Workout HC+Playlist

MC coming home way later than expected

MC twerking

MC having a terminal illness

Cheating RFA boys

Drunk MC kiss on New Years

MC leaving a huge visible hickey 

New Years with MC

Nicknames MC+MM peeps have for each other

MC having tattoos

MC with super powers

MC dyeing her hair a crazy color

MC having ice cream left on her lips

MC trapped under mistletoe w/member she isn’t dating

Waking up with MC

Play fighting with MC

MC who puts cold hands on them

MM+Pokemon crossover

MC proposing to RFA+Saeran

Breaking up w/MC and months later running into MC

Random Saeyoung HCs

Random V HCs

MC saying ‘I love you’ for the first time

Stuck in an elevator w/MC whos having a panic attack

Putting up xmas tree with MC

MM Characters as parents

Random SFW+NSFW HCs for Saeran

MC being handsy with them in a restaurant

MC with bad period cramps

MC having a miscarriage

Date with MC at Carnival/Fair

MM Peeps + Their Disney Characters match

MC revealing her special rapping talent at RFA party

MM crew + fav app games

Packing up MCs apartment to move in together

MC farting

MC walking in on them pooping

Having to..”adjust themselves” in front of MC

Zombie apocalypse with MC

Staring contest with MC

MC saying Zen isn’t attractive

Domestic Yandere hcs

What Saeyoung and Saerans life would be like if they got adopted young

Figure Skating with MC

MC Announcing she’s pregnant + RFA Pregnant announcement photos

MC wedding dress for each RFA + RFA Wedding Suits + RFA Wedding Photos

MC w/ protective little brother

RFA sorted in Ilvermorny houses

MC Pouting

MC Pooping

MC Death by Suicide

If MC Were a Grandma

MC Being a Stripper

Mute MC

MC smoking weed for anxiety

MC being in ‘Chicago’ theater production

MC with bad OCD

MC Stressed out from school

MC stealing and walking around in their clothing

MC being raped + Saeran reaction

MC Self Harming

Finding a pic of Emo/Punk MC

RFA/Hogwarts AU+Hufflepuff MC + Slytherin MC + Ravenclaw MC

Short muscular MC

MC with frequent tumors

Chubby MC + V and Saeran reactions

Girl flirting with MC

Severely depressed/Suicidal MC

RFA+High School + What they studied

Blind V

Insecure MC

MC Leaving Town

RFA + Alternate Proposals 

◆NSFW◆

Mafia!Saeyoung NSFW HCs

Zen giving/receiving oral and dominant/submissive

Random Saeyoung NSFW HCs

Dominant/Rough MC during sex

Jumin Giving/Receiving Oral

MC walking in on them masturbating

Walking in on MC masturbating

Thoughts/Feelings the moment they put ‘it’ in MC

MM Characters sexual quirks

V-7-Vanderwood-Saeran giving+receiving oral

Seeing MC naked for the first time

MC being super loud in bed

MM characters ‘first time’

Most and Least Sexually Experienced RFA

What RFA sound like when they’re cumming

So I work at a locally owned movie theater more or less on the shittier side of town and after working here for almost 2 years, some interesting things have gone down. Like:

  • A customer ordered popcorn by saying “Polly want a buttered popcorn.” in a parrot voice.
  • A guy “woofed” at me to get my attention. Like, actually barked. I thought it was a real dog. 
  • A woman clearly on drugs stole a customer’s phone and got high in the bathroom. 
  • The same customer ran out of the movie crying because she thought the lady had a bomb. 
  • The time a couple was caught fucking in the woman’s restroom. 
  • The owner threw a guy off his bike because him and his friends wouldn’t stop riding in front of the theater. 
  • Had one coworker sneak in alcohol to give to our underage doorman. 
  • Same coworker was fired for skimming from the register
  • A man named Jungle Jim bought a ticket but instead sat in the lobby and told me all about his RV he decorates with potted flowers and travels in. 
  • When the owner refused to put up a companies posters so the man told him that he hopes he dies of Alzheimers. 
  • Everytime I tell someone we aren’t open, they try to open the doors anyway. Every. Time. 
  • One of our doormans chased a coworker around the theater with a dead mouse. 
  • One of our friendliest regular customers comes in dressed as a vampire every single time. May or may not actually believe he is one.