she is much more attractive than me

anonymous asked:

6 and 42 with Kylo Ren

6. “Oh my God! You’re in love with him/her!”

42. “You braided his hair?”


It was about the time of week when you and Phasma would eat lunch together, a longstanding tradition that you held for almost as long as you lived on Starkiller. You’d ask each other about your day, and talk about everything from that new seemingly incompetent Radar Technician to the crushes you had. Of course, Phasma always teased you relentlessly, because you had a crush on the Commander.

“Y/N I still do not understand what you see in that man, you can do so much better,” She shook her head.

“Well there’s more to him than you see, he’s talented, intelligent, and he even makes me laugh sometimes,” You defend. There was just something about the man that fascinated you, and after lots of observing you found that it was something that you were very attracted to. Just thinking about him made you flustered. 

Keep reading

chaotic--cosmos  asked:

Please talk about the mummy returns

pristinepastel said: Hey, i know you like the first mummy, but what about the mummy returns?

I HAVE RETURNED…after like a day. 

but what the people want, the people get!

RIGHT SO THE MUMMY RETURNS!

aka the only sequel that is 1000% just as good as the first one. like holy shit. 

ten years later and we meet our heroes again. rick and evie are happily married, going on adventures, and evie’s dream of becoming a respected scholar has come true and they’ve made a tiny human! 

the only unrealistic part being that they only had one kid, i mean they are still all over each other ten years later and you’re telling me they only had ONE kid.

okay. sure jan. 

but boy o’ boy is that one kid awesome! 

alex o’connell. this kid is literally:

  • 50% evie super-klutz-genius. 
  • 50% rick screams-at-things-that-are-illogical-to-scream-at. 
  • 50% uncle jonathan’s sheer dumb luck and wit. 
  • 10% i’m really bad at math. 

you get the point. HE’S GREAT. also the actor passed on harry potter because, JUST LIKE ME, the mummy 1999 was his favorite movie and he just HAD to be in the sequel. alex is just such a smart-ass little shit. that much like his mother, accidentally brings about the apocalypse by opening something he shouldn’t have:

Originally posted by rafikecoyote

ARDETH BAY TIME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. he has a much bigger role in this one. GOD BLESS. (because he was supposed to die in the first one, but test audiences loved him as much as we do, so they kept his fine ass around) he still looks prettier than everyone and is still so done with white people once again. 

*after almost being killed on he bus* “this was my first bus ride.”
*after realizing they’re gonna make him fly again* “why can’t you people ever keep your feet on the ground?”

he’s just such an awesome A+ friend goals, because while he probably needs to go be with other medjai to prepare for battle against anubis’ army (yikes), he stays with the fam to rescue alex. it wasn’t even much of a thought for him really, rick and evie just batted their eyelashes and he was like: *sighs* “these white people are always messing my shit up, but they are my white people.”

Originally posted by lestatscherie

jonathan: still beautifully the same as ever. witty, clever, and would do anything for his family. 

“be quiet alex! if there’s going to be any hysterics, they’ll come from me!”

“if you see anyone come running out screaming, it’s just me.”

when he boasts about being a good shot and ardeth is internally like “i’m gonna die.” THEN HE SAVES ARDETH. hell yeah.

Originally posted by aurhireactions

rick: he’s still screaming at things. BUT IN DAD MODE. he’s the ultimate dad.

“you, lighten up. you, big trouble. you, get in the car.”
*sweetly* “honey, what are you doing, these guys don’t use doors.”
“knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you’re about to do to him, but this is my house and i have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.”

Originally posted by lmhotep

evie: still a super-klutz nerd, but with C O N F I D E N C E. little baby librarian is now a honey badger of ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK! and also a re-incarnated princess

“no harm ever came from opening a chest.”

rick: “i swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.”
evelyn: “you mean more attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?”

Originally posted by a-ripley

we meet izzy, another one of rick’s ex boyfriends, who is a much more reliable mode of transportation than previously mentioned murder buses. 

imhotep: still emo. still wants to make out with his gf.

anck su namun/meela: hella good villain. she bomb af and 100% wants to take over the world. amazing. she actually has like a really cool role this time too!!! like so much screen time. 

Originally posted by marimoody

the rock…i mean the scorpion king, he’s another emo villain with goofy cgi rendering and like 4 million terrible made-for-TV spin off movies that you are lying if you haven’t watched at least one of them and felt that utter disappointment. but who cares the rock is pretty. and this was his first acting role and the reason we have him where he is today. 

thank you mummy returns for giving the world actor rock johnson #blessed

Originally posted by charmander-ann

THE ROMANCE AGAIN:

normal action movie sequel romance: same guy. different girl. repeat of first movie’s romance. hehehehhehehehhEHEHEHEHHEHH. 

not here bitch. 

rick and evie’s love has only grown stronger. they still bicker like old ladies at bingo night. the still look at each other like they hung the moon. they’re still disgusting jonathan because they CANNOT KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES. one kid my ass. they still support each other and protect each other like crazy. they love each other so much and it’s so healthy and pure and there is some good in this world mr. frodo.

Originally posted by yocalio

the bottom line here is. what’s the point of watching the mummy 1999 if you aren’t going to watch the mummy returns immediately after?

JUST DO IT.

Originally posted by mummymovies

UPDATED TRUMP DOCTOR LETTER

To Whom It May Concern:

A lot of people have expressed a desire for an update on President Donald J. Trump’s health since his inauguration. I have been the personal physician of President Donald J. Trump since 1980 and I am here to say that Mr. Trump’s health is absolutely better than ever.

Since being sworn in, Donald Trump has lost 50 pounds and gained 17 inches of height. He’s the longest president who has ever lived. His livers are both functioning flawlessly. His blood sets an all-time record for the state of New York for “most” and his blood pressure was rated “excellent” by seven different Fox News Twitter polls. He doesn’t even have one cholesterol.

I can say this unequivocally: Donald Trump has the most bones. Scientists estimate that he now has around 900 bones in his body and more are being discovered every day. Some of those bones have never been seen before. They allow him to be really good at presidential things like signing executive orders and making love nightly to his wife who wants him to.

Mr. Trump’s test results have been astonishingly excellent. He actually has a blood type we’ve never seen before: “All.” It’s both the universal donor and universal recipient, and sprinkling it on your penis makes your penis bigger. Mr. Trump’s blood is gorgeous. It has a rich color that’s hard to describe, but if I had to put it into words, I might call it “red.”

President Donald Trump has no family history of cancer, diabetes, or death. The president’s family members are immortal beings that walk the earth without end, craving the sweet release of death that will never come unless they make a deal with a cool witch. Donald Trump will never die, he will just keep growing vertically forever until he lives in space. It’s really astonishing.

His physical strength is extraordinary. He can lift as much as a mother whose child is trapped under a car, but he’s more attractive than that mother and he hasn’t let himself go like she has. Have you seen the way she dresses lately? The hypothetical mother in this simile is a total chunk. 4 at best. As the famous doctor Hippocrates once said, “Would not hit.”

Since the Inauguration, Mr. Trump has kept an extremely active lifestyle. He starts every morning by walking straight up into the sky and then walking down again. He also visits me regularly for checkups. Mr. Trump doesn’t let me touch him because of gay, so I just eyeball it and give him a once over. I can usually tell just by looking how much blood is in him that day or which liver has taken the lead, so it’s not a super intensive process.

Mr. Trump is not only the healthiest president that has ever served, but also the most handsome. I usually want to kiss President Trump when I see him, but I would never break the doctor-patient trust, so instead I kiss the portrait of him I drew on my little note pad. There have been no presidents that even come close to President Trump in terms of overall health and hotness. Franklin Pierce was pretty hot, but his body wasn’t great. James Garfield was more cute than hot. President Trump is the total package. I know this because of my stethoscope.

Just to give a little more background on me, I’ve been a doctor for years. I got into medicine the same way a lot of doctors do: I once took an unmarked pill that I found under a toilet in a public restroom, and the next thing I knew, I was blacked out doing surgery on a man on a Benihana table with the big knives they got over there. I flipped this guy’s appendix right into my hat. And that’s when I caught the bug, for surgery and for tetanus!

Now, I want to address some of the slanderous things that have been said about me. It’s just like these coastal elites to say I’m not qualified as a physician. They think you need fancy things, like a diploma from Harvard Med School or a diploma from a med school or a GED or a car or medicine or clean hands. You don’t need those to be a doctor! All you need is the right attitude and a good sense of humor and to be Jewish and a blank death certificate just in case!

This is America. We’re not “fancy” here. You’re supposed to be able to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and put a bunch of clamps in a guy and see what tubes you can clamp up without making him sleep forever. My grandfather was a blue-collar worker, and so was my father. I am a red-collar worker because my collar is always covered in spurting blood. I may not know art or science or what a “lung” is, but I do know that I love America and am a lung-doctor!

Because of my love of America and Donald Trump, it is an honor to be his physician. Donald Trump could teach us all a thing or two about health. Not only is he the healthiest human ever, but also the healthiest dog, house and Faberge Egg. I wish him luck as he continues on his endless journey.

Love,

“Doctor” Harold N. Bornstein, M.D. (Mostly Doctor)

Bombshell

An anon asked for a Reid fic where the reader is British and he gets turned on by her accent.  The team teases him for it and he eventually has to explain to the reader why he gets so weird whenever she talks.  I love this request, I really hope you like it!  Added in here a classic Spencer Reid Quote, shout out to anyone who can find it!

It gets smutty!  Some fluff ensues at the end, it’s super cute!

UnBeta’d so sorry for any errors, also flood warning!

Originally posted by toyboxboy

“As soon as Agent Y/L/N gets here, we are going to start the briefing,” Hotch said to the team, who were all still sitting around at their desks before disappearing into his office.

“Ready for the new team member, pretty boy?” Derek teased from his seat with a smirk.

“What?” Spencer asked nonchalantly.  He knew Y/N was British.  She’d been in for numerous interviews and when she was in the training field, all the other trainees were talking about the ‘British Bombshell’ that was joining the BAU team.  

“You know what,” Derek replied.

“Does Reid have a thing for accents?” Prentiss asked.  She looked at the genius with playful eyes.

“No, he has a thing for British accents,” JJ said, shaking her head.

“I see,” Emily said with a smirk similar to Derek’s.

“I don’t know if I like the looks on your faces,” Rossi said as he walked up.  After inspecting the teasing smiles of the three agents, he clocked the blush on Reid’s face.  “What’s wrong with you, coffee catching up to you this morning?”

Keep reading

1. I’m always conscious when people talk with me because instead of looking straight into my eyes and paying attention to what I’m saying, they stare at my skin. And I hate it.
2. I wish I could have a flawless complexion that I can confidently go out without putting any makeup on.
3. I pretend not to care when people tease me because of my acne but, deep inside it hurts. I just want to vanish because they think I have a bad hygiene.
4. I kept asking myself if I deserve this kind of feeling because I feel anxious every time. When will I ever look attractive again?
5. I asked my friend’s little sister if I’m a celestial body what would I be and she answered, “Moon! Your face looks like a moon!”.
6. I forced myself to become an introvert because I feel so ashamed of being in public. So most of the times I stay at home where I could hide my ugliness.
7. People think twice to give me a hug or kiss because they think it’s contagious.
8. Every morning, I try to boost my confidence with “I’m so much more than the marks on my face” but, it’s not helping. I still feel ugly. All the time.
9. When I look in the mirror, I see the worst looking person I’ve ever met in this entire life.
10. I spent all of my money on acne-fighting products but none of them worked.
11. Sometimes, I find it hard to talk to people because of my acne. I’ve lost all of my confidence, I don’t trust myself anymore.
12. I know I’ve been stared at. I know I’ve been talked about because of my acne scars. And it pisses me off when people got panicked just because they’ve had a pimple on their face.
13. I feel every single thing was a flaw. I’m a walking fault.
14. I’m vegan and I still have acne.
15. I feel uncomfortable a lot in life. I need to adjust every day. I need to take my pictures at a distance and put a lot of filters. Whenever I’m with my friends, I feel I’m the ugliest. I couldn’t wear a genuine smile because I know, it will always be overshadowed with these marks. And they will always make me remember that I’m not beautiful.
—  E.J. Cenita, 15 Saddest Acne Confessions
  • Piper: liking annabeth doesn't mean I'm not straight
  • Piper: she's just hot af
  • Piper: I mean who ISN'T in love with her be honest
  • Piper: she's just one of those extremely attractive girls that I would totally kiss and take on dates and snuggle with-
  • Piper: shit I think I might not be straight
Tempt

My first submission for Ash’s 2k Challenge :D for the threesome prompt. SO sorry it was late and I hope it was worth the wait!

Negan/Reader/Arat

Synopsis: Negan always had a talent for reading people. All it took was seeing you look at one of his strongest lieutenants to get the wheels turning in his head.

Contains: threesome smut, fingering, cunnilingus, blowjob, penetration,  language

All it took was a look. One simple look. You had allowed your eyes to linger on her pretty features and athletic curves a second too long. It was all he needed to see to get the wheels turning in his head.  You remember that day well. You remember the mischievous smile that curled his lips when he followed your gaze to Arat. You should have known right then and there, your dear husband was plotting something.  Negan always did have a remarkable talent for reading people. He could pick up on the most subtle of twitches in the features and be able to interpret their meaning. He could learn a person’s weaknesses, fears, aspirations and desires simply by speaking to them for a brief time. His keen hazel eyes flickering over their every move, analyzing their body language in order to serve his own needs. In your spare time, you’d often wonder what his occupation was before the world went under with the walking dead. 

 It wasn’t long after that, you noticed Negan had Arat coming by the wive’s quarters more and more for seemingly unimportant tasks. More often than not, the pair had simply shot the breeze in his study, sipping whiskey and engaging in some witty banter. They would usually ask you to join them, much to your delight and embarrassment. When it was just the three of you, you learned Arat was a significantly different woman. In front of the other Saviors, she was fierce, tough and formidable. Determined and hardworking. Around the other men, she remained serious and stone faced, never once even cracking a smile. But when there was no one around, Arat proved to be a rather charming woman with an enticingly smug air about her. Truly, she was everything you aspired to be. You both admired and envied her for that. And though she was not one of Negan’s wives, it was no surprise that the Savior leader had proposed to her before. Many times. But Arat seemed to enjoy serving Negan in other, more useful ways. Being one of his top lieutenants certainly had it’s fair share of perks after all. 

Before the dead started walking, there were times when you fantasized about being with another women. Several occasions where you touched yourself to the mere thought and there were more than a few that had caught your eye. Unfortunately, besides a couple of raunchy drunken make out sessions with other equally curious friends in club bathrooms, you never got the opportunity to fully explore. And it wasn’t as though you weren’t currently surrounded by the other beautiful wives, some who perhaps shared in your desires as well. But Arat was different. And maybe it was because she was different, that drew you to her.

Keep reading

“Cheater Cheater”

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky has a feeling you’re cheating on him with Sam. After a lot of brooding and thought, he decides to confront the two of you.

soundtrack:
“¿Dónde estás, Yolanda?”

A/N: I can’t do angst to save my life, so this story takes on a very different direction than originally intended. -j xx

“I’m pretty sure she’s cheating on me.”

Bucky grimaces, hating how those words taste on his tongue. He refuses to look at Steve, because he knows the gnawing feeling in his stomach will get only worse once he looks at his friend’s shocked eyes. “Whenever I ask her how her day was or what she did, she clams up and gives me some weird answer or excuse,” he continues.”

Steve rubs his jaw. "Buck, that’s not enough to assume that (Y/N)’s cheating on you,” he hesitantly states.

Bucky fishes his phone out of his leather jacket and pushes it towards Steve. "This is overbearing of me, but I asked Nat to do a little recon,” he sighs. “Whenever I look at these photos, a little voice in my head nags ‘Cheater cheater!’”

Steve uneasily scrolls through the different high-quality photos of you secretively walking out of a suite at the Avengers Tower. “Whose room is she leaving?“ he asks.

"Sam’s. It’s been going for about two weeks now.”

Steve practically spits out his coffee. “WHAT? Sam?”

Bucky feels drained as he takes his phone back. “Nat said that after (Y/N) leaves, Sam’s whistling around the tower. And you know Sam only whistles after one thing.”

Oh, every Avenger in the tower knew what the whistling meant. It was Sam Wilson’s telltale sign that he got lucky with a woman.

Steve shakes his head in disbelief. “(Y/N) and Sam? I mean, you and Sam… but… what?”

Keep reading

{ red velvet }

pairing: thomas jefferson x reader

t/w: none!

tags:  @toonerzchatz @promisesandmore @itsallexmallory @impala-moose @jaydiggs1218 @fierydaemon @slightlysouless @jzzyjones @wiindmill @whitestorm547 @hamilturnt @fearless-butter @littleblue5mcdork @arostrolgy @mcgrammer15 @fanagelbagel @mehrmonga @luna-lightwood-potter @strawbirby @21donutlover @alienboymax @hamilbroke @tailored-shirt-tails @wolfphantom-m @moonchildcharm @shadowthepiratecat @english-muffin-top @iamivyfeather @louisianaspell @lastfallenstar @thataudreydork @moonqueerr @niixxo @sarmar29 @a-mistake-tbh @notquiteanobsession @me-idiedforhim @ghostieatemymoxie @arostrolgy @martapetrovic @thomas-jefferdad @justwannaseesomegoddamnlolfanart @that-gay-fangirl

inbox || masterlist

part one // part two // part three // part four // part five


four. 

To Thomas, the days without you seemed to stretch on forever. Thomas woke up with the initial thought to text you, call you and ask about how your day was, try to convince you to quit your job at the cafe you worked at, but he couldn’t. You two were on a break. Now was your time to think.

Think.

It felt pointless. He knew what he wanted, but he wanted to make sure you knew what you wanted.

Keep reading

1. I’m always conscious when people talk with me because instead of looking straight into my eyes and paying attention to what I’m saying, they stare at my skin. And I hate it.
2. I wish I could have a flawless complexion that I can confidently go out without putting any makeup on.
3. I pretend not to care when people tease me because of my acne but, deep inside it hurts. I just want to vanish because they think I have a bad hygiene.
4. I kept asking myself if I deserve this kind of feeling because I feel anxious every time. When will I ever look attractive again?
5. I asked my friend’s little sister if I’m a celestial body what would I be and she answered, “Moon! Your face looks like a moon!”.
6. I forced myself to become an introvert because I feel so ashamed of being in public. So most of the times I stay at home where I could hide my ugliness.
7. People think twice to give me a hug or kiss because they think it’s contagious.
8. Every morning, I try to boost my confidence with “I’m so much more than the marks on my face” but, it’s not helping. I still feel ugly. All the time.
9. When I look in the mirror, I see the worst looking person I’ve ever met in this entire life.
10. I spent all of my money on acne-fighting products but none of them worked.
11. Sometimes, I find it hard to talk to people because of my acne. I’ve lost all of my confidence, I don’t trust myself anymore.
12. I know I’ve been stared at. I know I’ve been talked about because of my acne scars. And it pisses me off when people got panicked just because they’ve had a pimple on their face.
13. I feel every single thing was a flaw. I’m a walking fault.
14. I’m vegan and I still have acne.
15. I feel uncomfortable a lot in life. I need to adjust every day. I need to take my pictures at a distance and put a lot of filters. Whenever I’m with my friends, I feel I’m the ugliest. I couldn’t wear a genuine smile because I know, it will always be overshadowed with these marks. And they will always make me remember that I’m not beautiful.
—  E.J. Cenita15 Saddest Acne Confessions
(s)AINT

Another one-shot I wrote for @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash‘s second Writing Challenge. I honestly have no idea where I found the courage to actually post this, but there you have it, some priest!Negan smut… With a twist. 

Synopsis: Father Negan, the new priest in town, sparks the interest of Angelica, a girl who used to live there and is back only for the weekend.

Warnings: cursing, blasphemy galore, major priest kink, dirty talk, spanking, sliiiight name calling, unprotected sex.

Word count: 3379

Originally posted by jdm-negan-mcnaughty

The sun was starting to set as Angelica pulled her ash blonde hair up into a tight bun and applied a thin layer of colorless lip gloss over her rosy lips.

She was staying at her aunt’s place for a few days and couldn’t believe her younger cousin Maria had persuaded her to go to church with her. There wasn’t much to do in this small town anyways, so she’d agreed to join her for evening mass, despite the fact that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been in the presence of a bible.

Keep reading

Damn it, are you drunk? {Theo Raeken}

gif is not mine, credits to the owner. ♥

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Theo Raeken X Reader

Words: 963

Warnings: idk, mentions of sex??

Summary: The reader gets drunk and Theo have to control himself to take care of her

A/N: This is probably gonna suck :/ Read at your own risk and let me know what you think.


Theo Raeken was a lot of things ­— a good liar, an ambitious chimera, even a little hot headed sometimes. However, if there was one thing he was not, was dumb. So when his bell rang and Y/N stood by his door with a mysterious smile on her face, Theo knew that something was up.

“Y/N,” he greeted, showing her his usual smirk. “What brings you here?”

What he wasn’t expecting, however, was that she would trip on the small degree in front of his door, falling straight into his arms while laughing hysterically. Usually, she would be embarrassed as hell if something like that happened, but to his surprise, she just ignored the occurred and shakily stood up, staring at him with an uncharacteristic smile.

“Theo~” she muttered in a sing-sang voice, glad to see him.

Theo raised his brows. “Are you…?”

The pieces suddenly settled in his mind, and reality hit Theo like a truck at full charge.

“Damn it, are you drunk?”

Y/N didn’t bothered in answer; instead, she tip-toed in front of him and pressed her lips to his so quickly that Theo couldn’t even think about what to do, confirming his suspicions. Her arms embraced his neck and her rosy lips were soft and hurried against his own, tasting clearly as some whisky Theo had proved before. He resisted the urge to kiss her back, to press his body against hers and deepen the kiss, but could not spare the chance to enjoy the feeling of her lips touching his so willingly.

“Stop,” he managed to break the kiss somehow, knowing that this wasn’t right, no matter how he wanted it to be. Control yourself. Breath. “Stop it, Y/N.”

“No,” she stated dizzily, senseless hugging him closer and pouting like a kid, her lips ghosting over his. “I’m so lonely, why are you being so cold?”

“You are not thinking straight.”

Y/N mumbled a few incomprehensible words, shook her right hand vigorously as if to make her point clear, and leaned in for another kiss, but Theo cleverly dodged it right before her mouth touched his, earning an unhappy whimper from her. Unfortunately, her kiss attained to his neck, making him gasp lightly.

God, you have to stop,” Theo nearly begged before quickly moving her hands away from his face, holding her wrists to prevent her from touching him again. He wasn’t sure that he could control himself if he didn’t keep her away enough.

She stumbled on her own feet, trying to get her hands free from his grasp uselessly.

“Why…?” she asked with a flash of innocence in her stunned eyes. “Don’t you want me anymore?”

These words almost made Theo succumb to his will and forget what was right; damn it his conscience, he couldn’t stop thinking about her ever since their first night together. He couldn’t forget her warm kisses, her soft skin or the way she reacted to his touch, and now she was right in front of him, asking if he wasn’t attracted for her anymore as if it would be even possible. Theo wanted nothing more than to attach his lips to hers and show her how much he wanted to be with her again, but something was holding him back, making him think twice.

A feeling of pure affect for her and deep caring for her wellbeing — something he had never felt for anyone before. He didn’t wanted her to do something that she would regret later, he didn’t wanted to take advantage of her.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” Theo said honestly, still holding her wrists firmly.

Y/N struggled on Theo’s grasp, desperately trying to get free.

“Show me then,” she asked sweetly.

He nearly chuckled, nearly. “I would love to, sweetheart, but I can’t.”

Y/N looked at him disappointed, and then loosened her own weight in his arms, forcing Theo to release her hands to catch her by the waist, impeding her from falling straight to the floor. She gave him a childish smile, wrapping her arms around his neck immediately.

“Am I your sweetheart?” she asked happily, her face so close to his that he could smell the alcohol on her breath.

“You’re such a child,” Theo said with a smile, staring at her innocent expression. It wasn’t longer before she leaned in and planted a kiss on his chin, earning a soft, unexpected chuckle.

Why did she drank that much?

Truth was, Theo was enjoying himself deep down. He was enjoying the fact that she thought about him on her drunk state, that she came to him and that she was so shamelessly saying those things willingly, things she would never have said sober. She was too self-conscious to say anything this daring.  

When sober, Y/N was always discreet and contained to a point that it was even hard to know what she was thinking or what she wanted. Theo always had a hard time trying to guess what she needed, and he was the one to tease her any chance he had. She was usually sweet and even innocent, normally blushing with minimal words.

The woman in Theo’s arms was not that girl.

“I’m never letting you drink again,” Theo decided, lifting her up bridal-style. Y/N chuckled hysterically on her drunk state before resting her head on his chest, apparently starting to feel tired, finally.

He carried her to his bedroom carefully, trying not to think about the last time the two had been in a room alone. Placing Y/N on his bed, Theo noticed that she was already with her eyes closed peacefully.

He sighed, leaned down and kissed her forehead softly, trying not to wake her up.

“Good night, drunk.”

Of course, when she wake up next morning, he would the tease the hell out of her.


A/N: I’m writing a part 2 for this, but I’m not sure if I should post it, so I would appreciate if you let me know what you think. Thank you for reading! ♥

Sugar and Spice (Negan x Female)

Summary: She has a huge crush on Negan and would do anything to make him happy. He misses the taste of real pumpkin pie, so she sets out to make it for him. 

Characters: Negan x Female 

Word Count: 4,348

Warnings: SUPER FLUFF, a lil’ angst, some swearing

Author’s Note: This was a a fic request sent in by @may85 who asked:

“How about a Negan one shot where the reader found out what kind of food was Negan’s favorite, so she goes out to find the ingredients, succeeds and makes it, but he finds out that she went outside the walls and flips his shit. Fluff with some delicious Negan kisses?” 

I don’t know why I picked pumpkin pie. I’m kind of one of those people who goes crazy over it in the fall, and I feel like Negan would like it too. This is just super fluffy and yummy. Hope you guys enjoy!

Big thanks to @ashzombie13 for beta’ing this fic for me! <3

Keep reading

okay but seriously guys ANASTASIA. it’s like they shoved all the best romantic tropes into a movie less than two hours long and did it flawlessly I can’t:

  • the perfectly executed arc from initial dislike –> begrudging respect (“if we live through this, remind me to thank you”) –> inconvenient attraction (“maybe we should stop” / “we have stopped”) –> genuine affection –> realizing you care about the other person so much their happiness is now worth more than your own –> choosing them as your found family
  • the bickering is top notch with her sticking out her tongue and him not seeing it and “men are babies” and even when they’re hurtling towards death in the loose rail car they’re still sniping at each other these nerds
  • he shields her with his body when they blow up the train cars, and she shields him with hers when rasputin dies
  • he doesn’t tell her that he knows she’s the princess because then he’d have to tell her how he knows, and he doesn’t want her to feel like she owes him anything
  • he doesn’t want the money!!!!
  • the way her grandma recognizes how much she loves him and makes it clear that there are no hard feelings, that she still has this family even if she decides to pursue her found family
  • THE SPINNY KISS ON THE BOAT AT THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jealousy [REQUESTED]
  • Pairing: Jerome Valeska x Reader x Platonic! Deadpool
  • AU: HISHE-Villain Pub and Super Café
  • Prompt: [ANON] How about a female reader making Jerome jealous because he’s been sweet talking other girls. You can pick how it ends :D - Anon

I’M SORRY THAT I JUST FINISHED IT NOW ANON, I WAS BUSY YESTERDAY AND TOTALLY FORGOT TO FINISH THIS REQUEST ;-; Hope you like it though, also if you guys say that Deadpool isn’t a villain you’re half right, he is an anti-hero that means he is in between. That includes the explanation to Punisher too! ^^


You rolled your eyes at how casually your boyfriend, Jerome Valeska is seducing with the waitress who just gave a giddy smile in return. You and your partner Jerome, where at the secluded hideout that one of largest company made, Villain Pub. Unoriginal the name is but believe me the pub is like heaven. The pub was made by the HISHE Company, who established the Super Café where all the heroes hang out ironically. Mostly the Bat and the Man of Steel. Unlike the café, which was publicly open, the pub opens between midnight to three am and was hidden well and requires an identification for all that wants to enter the pub.

You pouted; Jerome was clearly not giving his attention enough for you. Your phone rang as it sang ‘Purple Lamborghini’, you excused yourself but Jerome and the waitress didn’t seem to bother. You groaned and continue on walking away towards the side of the entrance, that’s where a little amount of people crowd in. If you thought the C.R. is the best choice then you might encounter some wild villains getting points with the opposite sex.

You swiped to respond and greeted, “Hello?”

Boo!” you heard a boisterous shout behind your back as you grumbled in annoyment. It was the one and only Deadpool giggling at his little josh while ending the call, beside him was The Punisher—-

“Yeah, yeah Author. Try to shut up, I’m trying to make a move with Mrs. Valeska here and I cannot focus with you narrating and shit!” Okay Deadpool this is for the views all right, it’s not my fault that I just want to write some stuff with you in it. I can’t find the right Villain to make up with the reader so I chose an antihero like you! Now shut up and let me continue my business.

“I would rather not be called with that surname right now.” The man was rubbernecking at you weirdly as you pointed at the flirty Jerome and the love-struck waitress. He simpered under his mask, “I have a plan.”

You took interest at what he aforesaid and smirked, “I love how you think Wilson.” winking at him. The Punisher nictate and gazes at the male and female, shifting once in a while. “I don’t want to be part of this, now if you mind. I’ll just take a shot with El Diablo and Deadshot.”

Deadpool mewl at the answer of the male, “Awe men~ I was wishing a threesome but I respect your choice brother, go get some gay sex! I’m proud of you!”

The Punisher just snarled and took steps towards the bar. “So the plan is to make Jerome jealous I assumed,” you smirked, your device on hand. Deadpool puts his hand on his waist and took in the sights, “Why yes baby girl, and here’s the plan.”

-

Jerome was about to ask the attractive woman’s number when he took notice on how you just vanished unexpectedly. “As much as I love to talk more, gorgeous. But my date has seem to fled and I need to be a gentleman and find her.” He stood, his voice alluring the female to want more. “Alright Mr. J,” she slipped a tissue paper with her name on it and her number “Talk to me when you ditch the bitch.” Jerome took offence to this; no one can persecute his girl other than him. “I almost took that option but it seems,” he then proceeded to rip off the tissue in bits and lob it into the air “That you’re no better, just a slut.” He smiled while biting his lip and left the table behind while waitress stared at him in shock and embarrassment, his hand up waving away while he continued walking.

Toodles~”

He paced around the pub, trying to find you. Nodding to some acquaintance and even some of the older Jokers like him. When he arrived at the pool section, he examined a lot of people, mutants, etc. playing with each other as some cursed when the ball didn’t entered the hole, and with that many people he managed to detect you. There you are, with a man in red and black suit. It seems like he was teaching you how to play the game of pool, you were bended over the table, the stick on hand while pointing towards the white ball. The man also bended, his ‘largeness’ pressed to you while he held both of your hands educating you the right moves. And to his point of view, you were taking pleasure at the gesture of the disguised man.

“Deadpool he’s here! Take position!”

You could feel Deadpool’s raging boner pressed to your ass, “Will you control your penis?!”

He snickered, “Sorry dear, the Author won’t let me and besides I like this position.”

“He’s marching over the table,” Loki serenely stated while smirking. “ He seems upset. Good luck having a rough sex tonight (Y/N).” Even though Jerome was most likely to have rough sex by his looks and his infamous status, truth to be told he was gentle in bed. Afraid to hurt you, but now it seems not. You gulped at the thought, “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“You shouldn’t speak that kind of stuff with a child nearby.” Maleficent concealed Draco’s ears and glared at the people around the pool table. She casted a spell around the boy’s eyes that was now covered with clouds, unable to see. “My father will hear about this!” he whined, wrestling the lady’s hands while waving off the cloud that seems to stay just on spot.

Tom Riddle moaned, “Children.”

“True,” Bill Cipher said, rolling his eyes while sipping on a wine glass that was poured with the blood of a certain child that was accompanied by an eye.

“(Y/N)!” Jerome marched over to you, his face evident with anger. He grabbed your arm and roughly pulled you with him towards the exit. “Whoa bro, chillax, have a kit kat!” Deadpool chortled.

ENOUGH!” Jerome shot a bullet towards Deadpool, a perfect shot on his forehead. He groaned in pain as Jerome just pushed you to the exit, with one last sympathetic look at your best friend. He just gave pained thumbs up while slowly crouching down and was now laying in pain while the other villains peeked at the state of him being on the ground moaning while mumbling incoherent words.

“I hate being immortal,” he groaned in pain. “Why the fuck did the author even made Jerome shot me before he fucks the reader, clearly she got what she wants as I suffer through the pain.” He rolled the last words.

“Don’t worry, I’m a Doctor.” Doctor Bong snuck in.

“Last time you said that to me you made me try to kill the big man with the claws and that kitty girl.”

“At least he’s doctor.” Tate Langdon shrugged.  “How the fuck are you out with the curse shit stuff ghost boy?!”

“It’s Halloween.”

“Oh right, well I’m happy for Jeromey trying a new genre of sex this time.”

And that’s when all the villains including the anti-heroes nodded in agreement.

I’ve been thinking...

…and re-evaluating my priorities these days, and I’ve realized that for me joining this fandom has always been about Hook/Colin. Colin’s portrayal of Hook made me want to try and give the show a second chance, when I’ve all but given up on it mid S1. It never was about Jen/Emma for me. Although I won’t deny that both the actress (Jen) and the character (Emma) have grown on me considerably in the last couple of seasons. And I’m still devastated over this no more Emma/CS situation.

Some say they were drawn to the show because it was about strong women, not the case for me (don’t get me wrong; I deeply believe in gender equalty & will fight tooth and nail if told otherwise, it’s not that). Why? It’s quite simple actually; in my reality I’m surrounded by strong women; women that struggle to provide for their families, educate their children, keep their families safe & happy… I see it. Daily. But what I don’t see are men - men strong enough to realize how brilliant those women are.

That’s when Killian Jones comes into play, a man that doesn’t shy away from the fact that Emma Swan has bested him & keeps reminding her how bloody brilliant she is every single day. A man that accepts his own mistakes and takes responsibility for his actions. He’s not a saint, he fails constantly; be it fighting his nemesis or his own demons, but one thing never changes - he doesn’t give up, he wants to be better & he’d do anything for love. That’s the kind of man I want to see, well, at least on screen.

It’s true I was attracted to a pretty face at first (not only the face to be totally honest ;)), but pretty faces never make me stay. It takes much, much more than that. It takes courage, strengh, loyalty, love… basically all the qualities Killian Jones has shown during his character development arc.

And last but not least, it’s the actor’s personality that counts a lot; one that is talented, considerate, modest, loyal to family & friends, fiercely dedicated to his work & the character he plays. You know who I’m talking about, right? :)

so yeah, if you still have any doubts, that was me professing my undying love for Killian Jones & Colin O’Donoghue

& obviously my very own reasons for staying in the fandom :)

Bread and Salt

Originally posted by haedall

Alfie Solomons x Reader

Request: Hey! Can I request a reader x Alfie fic where the reader is on a date or just about to go out on a date, and Alfie calls/shows up pretending with a fake emergency or pretending to need something to get the reader away from her date because he likes her but hasn’t told her and is jealous/protective? Thanks ✨💕

A/N: Requests are still open!


Y/N was placing her pearl earrings in as she heard a knock at her door. Her penciled in brows furrowed as she looked at the clock. James wasn’t supposed to be there for another half hour. With a heavy sigh she pinned her last curl up to set. She got up, her heels clicking across the floor to the door. She cracked it, still locked with the chain, and peaked her head through. Oli stood on the other side, hands held behind his back.

“Boss needs ya,”

“I can’t. I have plans tonight,” Y/N went to shut the door, rolling her lined eyes, but he quickly held his hand out.

“You know how he is, Y/N. He calls, you answer.”

“What could he possibly want with me on a Tuesday night?”

“He just said to come collect you,”

“Well, you can tell him to come get me himself. It’s my night off and I have plans.” She slammed the door in poor Oli’s face. Y/N stomped back to her dressing table. Y/N pinched her cheeks, giving herself a lively flush, then finished off with some lipstick.

Keep reading

itssciencefitz  asked:

Saw you were taking prompts. Could I ask for a Fitzsimmons + 4??

Thank you for the prompt! Hope you enjoy! (Want one? Pick from this list.)

#4 - Come here. Let me fix it.

~

“There’s nothing to worry about, honestly!”

Jemma sat on the edge of the bed in their shared apartment listening to Fitz’s occasional groans coming from their en suite. She truly didn’t understand why he making such a fuss about his current predicament. To give him credit, it was a strange night, to be sure. For once, instead of the two of them preparing for a night out, with him usually waiting somewhat impatiently for her to finish getting ready, Jemma relaxed in her loungewear rather enjoying herself while Fitz struggled to decide on his wardrobe for the evening. And unlike other nights, Jemma wouldn’t be joining him at their favorite restaurant around the corner.

Half a dozen neckties were thrown haphazardly across the duvet as Fitz’s nerves made decision-making nearly impossible. Jemma found it rather humorous, as he was never one to care too much about his appearance, but she did admire how much effort he seemed to be putting into the occasion. To help him along, she decided the blue one was the best choice, as it was a favorite of hers and hoped it would bring him some luck for his mission.

She heard another groan from her boyfriend, and dropped her head in her hands.

“Easy enough for you to say,” he said, his voice echoing in a defeated tone. “You’re not the one asking for permission.”

Jemma huffed. “Technically, you’re asking for the both of us. It’s not like I don’t have a say in this. And what do you think he’s going to say? No?

“I don’t know. He’s your father!” He paused for a moment, and Jemma heard him throw something on the bathroom counter. “Shit,” he muttered softly.

Jemma scrunched her face, trying to decipher his change in tone. Yes, he was being a bit ridiculous with his worry, but now he sounded quite upset, so she scooted herself off the mattress and made her way to the bathroom. She paused once she reached the doorframe, not wanting to startle him. “What is it?” she asked, her voice full of concern.

Fitz stood in front of the mirror, his head bowed toward the sink. The blue necktie was half-hanging off the edge of the counter, having thrown it down in defeat. But what caught Jemma’s attention was Fitz’s hand trembling at his side, causing a lump to form in her throat.

Keep reading