she is diabolical

anonymous asked:

I want the protagonist of my story to be the chosen one but without the overused "offspring of an important person" as the reason, or the "I'm going to be the hero this world needs because I want to". Any suggestions? By the way, your blog is amazing!

I’m glad you like the blog! Thanks for saying so :)

The “Chosen One” Trope

Before I go further, let me turn your attention to a great post written by Penney not too long ago where she discusses the different types of “chosen ones,” as she talks about how it’s more than just fate or prophecy that can lead to someone becoming the chosen one in a particular story. If you missed it, check it out now: Penney’s “Chosen Ones” Post.

I also just want to add that the chosen one is a trope for a very good reason - readers LOVE it, regardless of how overused it might seem. In my mind, it’s only overused if the writer doesn’t take the time to plan the “rise of the chosen” thoughtfully. So if my anon, or anyone else reading this, is shying away from doing the trope in its traditional way because they think it’s expected or overdone, remember that it’s all in your execution. 

But okay, disclaimers out the way, let’s get down to the real discussion about this trope and the desire to do it. 

Putting the Cart Before the Horse

It’s difficult to give advice in this situation when I don’t really know what drew the anon to doing this trope to begin with. You mention that you want them to be chosen, but why? Does the story demand it? Or does the idea of a character rising from zero to hero appeal to you? Where are you in the process of developing this idea? Is it just a concept? Or are you working with plot? (for more about the difference between concept and plot, check out my post here).

Let me put it another way. How much are you considering your story’s plot in making this decision? I could throw out some ideas, but would they be relevant to your story? Was your character “chosen” to overthrow a government? To defeat a monster? To find a mystical portal and close it? These are important details when it comes to the “why” behind their chosen-ness. 

So before you start thinking outside the box, make sure you understand what you’ve currently got in the box. Write out precisely what they were chosen for, and why them versus someone else, and can their chosen purpose become something more? Let’s break that down using one of my favorite executions of the Chosen One trope, A Thousand Pieces of You by Claudia Gray (spoilers to follow). 

  • What were they chosen for? 

I’m using the word “chosen” very broadly here, so don’t get too hung up on semantics. When I say chosen, I don’t mean chosen by a god or powerful being or even nature. I mean chosen, as in, the person who has been put in this role to alter the outcome of the conflict. 

Start by making a list of the exact things this person was put in this role to change or affect. In A Thousand Pieces of You, the protagonist Marguerite is chosen to find who she believes to be her father’s murderer and bring him to justice. This list may just be one item long, or it may be two or three. Think about your conflicts and put the causes your character is chosen for into precise words. 

  • Why were they chosen?

In this step, answer why the character was “chosen” within the story. Marguerite was put in this role, because her father’s murderer has fled into an alternate dimension, one that only a handful of people know about and that have the technology to travel there. This means that the number of people that can chase this murderer is severely limited. 

Also consider, if the “why” is knowledge or possession based, why can’t this character turn their resources over to someone else? Marguerite’s knowledge is sensitive, not to mention outrageous. She cannot trust this information in just anyone’s hands, nor would that person have the expertise to know what to do if someone goes wrong. It’s also the type of information that most people may laugh in her face about. A police officer would think her theory about her dad’s killer vanishing into another dimension to be absolutely ludicrous. 

Was Marguerite anointed by some higher being? Did she step up to save the world? No! She found herself in this position for very personal reasons, and because she couldn’t trust anyone else with the knowledge and resources to do it. If she didn’t run after her father’s killer, no one else would. That makes her the chosen one out of necessity, because her love for her father will not allow her to sit and do nothing.  

Make a list of the circumstances that have put your character in this position. If you haven’t figured that out yet, then now is the time. Don’t worry if the circumstances are new or refreshing enough. Just focus on your story’s logic. Go back to what the character was chosen for and come up with the reasons why. At this stage, you might come up with conflicting reasons as you’re brainstorming, but this is good. It gives you a few different ways to take the story. 

  • Will their chosen purpose become something more?

In the case of Marguerite, she uncovers some pretty diabolical stuff in the search for her father’s killer, and she discovers that hopping to new universes affects her differently than it does others in her small circle. She doesn’t experience the same negative side effects that others do, and this immediately makes her a target of the antagonist, who wants her unique abilities for some terrible masterplan. With these abilities, and how closely she has now become to the events, her purpose has grown from uncovering the truth about her father’s death to stopping this evil plan from being put into motion. 

And while these “abilities” scream overplayed chosen one trope, Claudia Gray presents a backstory that is well hinted at throughout the novel until its reveal shows that Marguerite is a victim of some surreal accident, who seeks justice for her father, and discovers how those two situations collide, turning her from grief stricken daughter to chosen one through the course of the novel. 

So once you’ve thought about the reasons, consider if other reasons will come into play once the character has started on this journey. 

Mixing it Up (or not)

Ultimately, I don’t think chosen one tropes need mixing up. I think writers try too hard to be new and different, when it comes down to simply telling thoughtful stories. Chosen One stories fail when characters accept their role just because it was given to them, without thought, without question. And when the author fails to consider the why’s behind the character’s chosen-ness, the story loses its authenticity. 

Decide what they’re chosen for, why it has to be them and no one else, if that chosen purpose can grow into something bigger, and (the clincher) how your character will respond to these circumstances. Give the character their own personal reasons for giving into the role. Rather than saving the world, make it first about saving their family, their friends, or hell, even themselves. Fate might hand them a baton with Chosen One written on it, but if you give your character a personal reason to reach out and take it, you’re one step closer to an authentic story. 

I hope this was helpful to you. Bottom line is, tell the story the way you think it shoud be told. It’s not about the originality of the idea; it’s about the thoughtfulness you put into your execution of it. 

Good luck!


CSBB: I Thee Wed (6/16)

Once upon a time, Princess Emma and Lieutenant Killian Jones stole away into the dark of the night to elope. In the morning light, however, they must face the repercussions of their actions before they can live their “happily ever after.” This is where their story begins…

Rating: M (Mild smut)

Content Warning: Eventual Mild Smut

Other Pairings: Snowing

Author’s Note: Thank you to all who have read my contribution to the @captainswanbigbang This story wouldn’t be half as readable without the lovely beta work of @wexyuk. Special shoutout to my artists who also served as secondary readers, @piratesrumforswan , and @just-be-magnificent

![Ch. 1][Ch. 2][Ch. 3][Ch. 4][Ch. 5]

Read on AO3!

Chapter 6

Years ago, as their mother lay on her deathbed, Liam Jones promised her that he would take care of Killian. He had been ten then, Killian barely two years of age. As such, being the child that he was, Liam had no clue or context as to what it meant to protect his brother. At that age, he was still in need of protecting himself. But Mother had died of sickness, and Father was in and out of the picture – a scoundrel and layabout if there ever was one – forcing Liam to learn what it truly meant to protect one’s brother. Of course, once Father sold them both into slavery – such children they had been – the weight had completely fallen onto Liam’s shoulders.

At that point, they were all each other had left in the world. Certainly Captain Silver didn’t care about them, or at the very least, he didn’t care for them as boys. As property, sure, but he and the rest of the free crew treated Liam and Killian as nothing more than cattle. It was that treatment that inspired Liam to push harder to free him and Killian, especially once he realized Killian had turned to darker vices – gambling and alcohol – to soothe the pain. Often, Liam wondered if he had failed Killian and broken his promise to their mother by allowing his younger brother to find himself in such a state. He soothed himself by believing it would all be worth it if he could free both himself and Killian from the chains that bound them. Only then could he ensure that Killian would be on the straight and narrow.

And free themselves he did!

Liam might have used questionable methods, but he kept his promise to Mother. He did everything within his power to protect Killian, and it paid off. They joined the Royal Navy of Misthaven. Both he and Killian received proper educations. They learned languages! They sailed to different realms together on the flagship vessel of Misthaven, The Jewel of the Realm. Most important, they were both safe and secure, or rather, as safe and secure as Navy men could be. Everything was perfect.

Or so he thought.

Keep reading

The weak get thrown to the dogs (Damian Wayne imagine)

Requested: Yes
Request: Can you please write about Taila kidnapping Damian’s pregnant s/o but Talia doesn’t know that the reader is pregnant and brainwashes Damian to kill her and once Damian sees what he’s done he turns the sword on himself? Btw I love your writing!!!
Summary: After killing his pregnant wife while brainwashed, Damian turns his sword on himself.
Word count: 786
Warning(s): Angst, death, suicide

You had just walked out of the huge hospital building. A sonogram of your unborn child in your coat pocket, you make your way home to tell your husband this amazing news. 

You were no more than seven minutes away from the hospital, walking on a narrow street with no people on it, when you suddenly fall unconscious from a blow to the side of the head. You knew the risks of being with the man you loved, and the occasional kidnapping was nothing out of the ordinary, so when you found yourself in a gloomy basement like room you did your best to keep calm.

Like Damian always taught you, show no fear, take note of your surroundings, everything can be used as a weapon. Your head hurt, blood was dripping onto your clothes, you were scared, but not for yourself, but for yourself but for your child.

You were just trying to get your attention away from your aching head and ringing ear when the heavy looking metal door opens, bringing light to the dimly lit room. Before you stand’s Talia with Damian in tow. He looked less focused than usual, his bright green eyes now dark and furious. He was holding a sword in his hands behind his back. He wasn’t trying to hide it, maybe just trying to refrain himself.

Damian, what do we do with the unworthy?” Talia asks Damian, a smirk on her face. 

We eliminate them, mother.” He knowingly answers. 

What happens to the weak?” She asks diabolically. 

They get thrown to the dogs.” He answers, drawing his sword.

You know what to do, son.” Talia says simply, exiting the room, leaving you two alone together.

W-what are you doing,” you question, tears cascading down my face, mixing with the streaks of blood, the lump in your throat becoming hard to swallow. 

TT, I’m fixing my mistakes.” He answers arrogantly and bluntly.

Wh- What ever Talia has told y-you, this isn’t you, you’re a kind man, you don’t want this.” you try my best to reason with him, knowing full well that when he has his mind set on something, there’s no turning back.

He pulls his weapon against your arm, creating a deep laceration, blood starting to spill rapidly. you scream in agony, trying to loosen the bonds that are refraining me to the chair. 

You don’t know anything about me nor what I want.” He seethes.

 Moments of heavy panting later, your still trying to calm your heart rate to lessen the blood flow. “Any last words?” He questions, raising his sword to the side of your neck.

I-I love you,” You manage to get out, before your life flashes before your eyes. A sharp nanosecond of pain flows through you, before there’s nothing. No pain, no worry, no happiness, no bliss, no nothing.

Damian watches your head hit the ground, the blood spattering over the walls and sealing. Only now he realizes the full extent of his actions, the pain he had caused not only himself, but everyone that ever knew you. He falls to the ground, on his knees in front of your lifeless body, the clanking of the sword echoing in the room. He screams, before starting to sob uncontrollably. He had killed many times before, but never had it had an effect such as this.

He moves to untie you from the chair, pulling your headless body on to his lap, crying while rocking back and forth. He feels as if an entire eternity had passed, when in reality it had only been meer minutes. A glint of something glossy catches his eye in you pocket, a paper?

Carefully, with shaking hands he reaches for it, taking it out, leaving bloody prints all over it. Turning it in his hands he sees the sonogram, dated for today, a small blob of what your child was supposed to be looking back at him. He was distraught, he didn’t want to live this life no more, with the blood of not only his beloved on his hands, but also the blood of an unborn child.

Talia burst into the room just as Damian was grabbing for his weapon once more. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING,” She screams. 

Joining my family, wherever they may be. I betrayed them in life, but I won’t do it in death.” He says grimly, taking the last look at you, and the picture before slamming the sharp point of his sword straight into his still beating heart.

Leaving behind a broken promise of a family and a childless mother. Losing a sister, a brother, a child, a mother, but reuniting the promise in death. To have and to hold, forever. 


With love,

Not So Sneaky

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Daughter!Reader

@marvelfanlife asked:  Could you do a hotch x daughter reader where the reader goes running with hotch her dad and it’s kind of like a competition between the two of them and the reader cheats by taking a short cut where they run and hotch finds out as he knows when she lies cause he knows his daughter & is a profiler and instead of grounding her he goes to her school for career day and embarrasses her with the team as well like pretending to arrest her crush & he says that he hopes she’s learned her lesson please? 💕

A/N:  I LOVE this request, it’s brilliant and cute and so funny.  Hope I do it justice!

Originally posted by thomas-gibson-daily

Y/N rounded the corner, a few paces behind her father.

“Wait up!” she yelled again.  He just laughed and sped up his moving feet, them carrying him much faster than before.  The stretching they’d done before they started didn’t help her much, her side beginning to form a stitch of pain.  

Her feet gradually slowed as she cupped her side, coming to a complete stop while her dad continued to run on, zooming through the park.  He was going to beat her again.  She hung her head down, disappointed in herself.  Why couldn’t she win, just once?

She knew he was close to their personal finish line.  There was no point in trying to beat him out now.  But maybe…

Keep reading

When you’re on mobile and can’t reply to ppl accusing me of thinking Petyr Baelish shits gold and everything he’s done was righteous. Lmao you’re so cute. 🙄

“If you can’t sleep...we could have sex”

Request 62 

Kaitlyn x MC

As per request :)

Slightly mature, lots of fluff 

You lie awake in bed. It feels like hours since you first laid down. You glance at your phone. 2:06 AM.

Maybe I just don’t want to sleep.

A light flashes from outside, filling your room with what almost feels like daylight for a quarter second. A thunderous boom soon follows.

Or maybe the clouds just won’t let me.

You chuckle

“God’s will..” you muse to yourself.

A knock sounds from the wall, near your headboard. You yank your blanket over your head, willing yourself to be invisible.

“*MC? Is that you?” You exhale loudly.

After you and your friends decided the shower was off-limits for eating (aside from on the most special occasions, of course) Kaitlyn restricted her irregular eating habits to the confines of her ‘second floor abode’. Unfortunately, bedrooms, unlike showers, as Kaitlyn likes to point out, aren’t self-cleaning, and so her accumulating munchies brought on major ‘abode’ infestation.

She has since fled the scene and has been sleeping in what has been dubbed “the cubicle”; a ground floor walk-in closet next to your own room.

“Kaitlyn? I guess you can’t sleep either, huh?” Lightning flashes.

“Ha, what, with all this noise? I’ve slept through horror movies quieter than–”

Thunder booms.


“I wish I had a horror movie to sleep through. Or even to watch at this rate, I’m so bored! I feel like I’ve been awake for years”

“Well..if you can’t sleep..”


“Never mind, forget it”

“No, tell me. Trust me, anything is better than this”

“I was just going to say well if you can’t sleep…we could just have sex”

“What? Kaitlyn, I–”

“It wouldn’t have to be a big deal or anything, I was just throwing an idea out there. Never mind, just forget I said anything”

“No it’s just..well you know I’m kind of seeing someone, right?”

“Who? Becca? I thought you said you guys weren’t serious–or at least not exclusive”

“Well, we’re not..”

“So what’s the problem then?”

“I guess there isn’t one”

“I’ll be there in 5”

You gulp.



After what feels like an eternity, you watch in agony as your doorknob turns not once, twice, but thrice.


The door clicks open, Kaitlyn steps in, invisible in the darkness “All right, all right..don’t get your panties in a twist” she teases.

You chuckle “Oh believe me, I won’t be” you frown in thought “err..they won’t be?”

You hear Kaitlyn snort in the darkness. She steps forward, illuminated by the sliver of silver moonlight breaking through storm clouds. Your jaw drops as you stifle a gasp.

In front of you stands Kaitlyn, her shoulders draped a sheer silver scarf of dancing moonlight. It slips off her shoulders, fluttering gracefully to the floor.

Lightning flashes. Your eyes widen and you stifle a gasp as it illuminates Kaitlyn, dolled up in her lacey black lingerie–your lacey black lingerie, as she called it when she first wore it for you back in freshman year. You close your eyes for a moment, fondly reminiscing to when you first presented your new lingerie to each other together, back when there was a ‘together’. ‘It would look better on my floor’

You chuckle.

“What?” Kaitlyn asks, looking incredulously down at herself. She lifts an arm and sniffs it tentatively “Okay so I didn’t shower today but that’s just because I wanted to eat my spaghetti and you guys said–”

You grip your stomach in laughter, snorting between breaths “No, no, it’s not that, ughh you’re so cute”

She grins down at you, and takes a step closer, allowing you to observe the mischief dancing in her eyes “You think I’m cute?”

You playfully roll your eyes “You know I’ve thought you were cute ever since I first met you–”

She scoffs and pounces on you “I believe your exact words were ‘SO HOT’”

She wraps her arms around your neck, closes her eyes, and slowly leans in towards you..

“–but in a platonic way, like Dopey Cat!” You tease ruthlessly. Her eyes flutter open and she grins diabolically.

“Like Dopey Cat, huh?” She cocks an eyebrow and lowers her lips to your collarbone, kissing and sucking feverishly.

Gasping, you arch your back; your hands finding their way down hers. Her mouth moves from your collarbone to your neck, making your breaths ragged and labored. You slip your fingers into the back of her underwear, pulling her toward you. Your hands move up her back; one palm pressed to the small of her back, pulling her towards you, the other effortlessly unhooking her bra, letting it fall away.

You turn your head and press your lips to her ear “I almost forgot how beautiful you are” and gently nibble on the lobe.

She gasps into your neck, and slowly relaxes, falling into you. She slumps down next to you, placing one last kiss on your (now afflicted) neck, and nuzzles into you, laying her head on your chest.

You hug her to close to you, strands of hair glow silvery white in the moonlight and tickle your nose. You inhale deeply, reveling in her scent which you’re realizing you may have missed most of all.

“Hey, Kaitlyn?”

You’re met only light, buzzing snores. Figures she’d fall asleep anyway.

Unsure of whether or not she’s listening, you whisper it into the darkness:

“I love you”

Then easily drift to sleep.


I hope you liked it! 

 I tried to take it in a different direction idk 

 Let me know what you think, all feedback is good feedback :)

anonymous asked:

Ay-Ay is such a pleasant combo of both her parents. She has that asshole Philomel trait mixed with the cleverness that both parents have, and is becoming a force to be reckoned with. I know if you ever continued this you'd probably choose Mayo as heir, but Ay-Ay is so interesting. She's adorable and diabolical and thinks beyond what is expected. I love her!

Hi nonny,

I do love her a lot! Out of all the children she thinks differently and it would have been interesting to see her grow into adulthood. Maybe when I put her up for download, she can continue her research into the simulation conspiracy.

vegetalover12  asked:

Please continue lilo and stich Au please please 🙏

Of course! It’s been so long I hope you enjoy it! I really liked writing this and I hope you like it!

read the last one here!

“Well here’s home.” Marco opened the door and the creature bit it’s feet. Tom rolled into a ball and started tumbling all around the living room. He then jumped up and clawed a pillow to shreds. “Hey! Cut that out!” Marco exclaimed. He pulled the creature away and the alien hissed, yanking from Marco. “Stop that! Ughh! Why did I bring a monster in my house!?” Marco cried and tugged at his hair.

Tom kept hissing and clawing at the wallpaper with his four arms. He had spikes on his back and horns on his head. Marco shook his head and grabbed the alien from under the top set of arms. “What was I thinking!? I can’t keep you here! I have enough issues as it is!” Marco yelled, trying to yank Tom out the door. “You gotta go.”

Marco shoved the creature outside and slammed the door. It was quiet for a moment so Marco opened the door and saw his sitting on the front porch with his ears dropped and three big shiny eyes. “Oh come on.” Marco tried. Tears welled up in the alien’s eyes and Marco shook his head. “No. Stop that now.” Marco demanded. Tommade a whimper and the human groaned. “What if somebody sees you? I can have an alien in my house!” He exclaimed.

At hearing that Tom’s ear perked up and he sat up. He seemed to retract his second set of arms, he did the same thing with the spikes in his back and then his horns. Tom then closed his eyes and his skin faded to a light brown.

“Woah…” Marco mused. His eyes widened and Tom perked up, leaning forward. “I-I… I can’t give you a home… I don’t know what I was thinking bringing you in but… I have my own family to worry about.” Marco was about to close the door again, but he stopped when he heard the alien repeat the phrase back again.

“Ffffff…ffffami..ffaaammilee…” The alien tried to formed words and Marco stared at him for a while. He had found him on earth and brought him home, and now he was kicking him out? Marco sighed and shook his head.

“Come on in.” He moved aside and the alien darted in the house.


“What is that idiot doing!?” Janna cried, looking at the house through the binoculars. “What moron would bring experiment 626 into his house! My experiment would destroy the place! Not to mention kill any humans who stand in his way.” She laughed diabolically.

‘Kill!? HUMAN!?!” Star scrambled to her feet. “We need to get that monster out of there before he hurts that dear sweet human creature.” She declared. “Humans are fragile! He won’t be able to survive is 626 goes beserk in there!” Star was near tears. “We need to get him!” She cried.

“I agree… let’s bomb the house.” Janna opted. She raised up a glowing green alien tech bomb. Star jumped on her heels excited to see destruction, but stopped herself.

“Wait a minute! We can’t do that! We might harm the human!” She reminded. “And not only is that against my code as an Earth expert… but we could both get FIRED!” She cried, grabbing Janna’s hair.

Janna grumbled and ran her fingers through her hair. “So as long as he;s with that human, we can’t touch him?” She asked. Star nodded. “Oh that diabolical little creatin! Using that human boy as a shield! THIS IS LOW EVEN FOR YOU!” She yelled to the house, hoping her experiment could hear her.

Inside the house Tom’s ear perked up and he heard Janna’s distressed cry, snickering that his plan was working. Marco offered his a safe heaven. Tom looked up when Marco made a move to leave the house and the alien scrambled to follow. As soon as Tom was outside, waiting for Marco, Janna aimed the plasma gun.

“I can hit him from here without hurting the human.” She told Star. Star watched carefully as Janna was about to shoot the gun. Before she could shoot Tom made a whining noise.

“What is it?” Marco asked, stepping outside in front of Tom.

“DON’T SHOOT!” Star cried, grabbing the gun. The ray missed and hit a tree. Tom snickered again and stuck his tongue out at the two other aliens.

“AHHH! Do you see that! He’s mocking me!” Janna screamed. “You can keep hiding behind that human, 626! I’ll be waiting!” She began to laugh.

“Waiting?” Star asked.

“626 is an unstoppable destruction machine! He was designed for evil, terror and war! He can’t conform to a human’s way of life.” Janna explained. “He’ll be irresistibly drawn to large cities. Where he will back up sewers, reverse stop signs, and steal everybody’s left shoe.”


“Tom! Show down where are you going!” Marco called. Tom darted off to the side of the island only to find… water. Tom groaned and turned around, running faster in the other direction. Only once again to be greeted with the large body of water called the ocean. He grumbled and kicked the sand, and waited for Marco to catch up to him.

“Yeah… it’s nice living on an island with no large cities.” Marco spoke wistfully. Tom choked on nothing and fell to the ground, groaning. “Are you okay?” Marco asked. Tom just mumbled into the sand and looked up. A wave came his way and he hissed, backing away as fast as he could. Marco giggled a bit. “It’s just water.” He smiled.

“Idiot human.” Janna scoffed from the rock she was watching them in. “626 was made from fire and lava, he can’t survive in water.” She scoffed. “No way would he go near the stuff.” She finished.

“Here, let me show you.” Marco held his hand out and Tom took it tentatively. “See? It’s not so bad.” Marco cooed, dipping just the tips of the alien’s fingers in the cold ocean. Tom was about to pull away, but stopped, letting Marco show him the water. It hurt but, he was touching it so slightly that it felt okay.

“Why is 626 letting that human get him near water? And why is he letting him take his hand?” Janna asked in shock.

“What’s so odd about that?” Star asked.

“Well I designed him to be a war machine. A touch could set him off! But here he is acting so… docile. And letting himself be exposed to his weakness… it’s almost as if he trusts this human.” She looked through the binoculars and saw Tom tug Marco’s shirt, he handed him his other hand, signaling he wanted to touch the water with that one too. Marco smiled and took the alien’s other hand, dipping the tips of his fingers in the water and smiling at him. Tom felt himself relax and he watched the fish swim around. And when Tom made a move that he wanted to take his hands out of the water, Marco did so and dried them off with his hoodie.

“See? Not so bad, right?” Marco asked. Tom looked up at Marco with big eyes.

“Nnn… nnnot… baad.” Tom tried. “Nnnot not bad.” He looked up at Marco.

Not bad.

INTJ Manual: How to Obtain Your Very Own ISTP

As an INTJ, you’re a mastermind.
A criminal mastermind.

Unfortunately, you’re more of a puppet master than a DIY sort of guy, so you’re going to need a right-hand – someone else to do your dirty work and act as the face of the organization.

Your choice: an ISTP.

Why?  As the most mysterious type, the ISTP has far more potential as a figure of respect.  You’re betting on the ISTP coolness factor as a major component in minion retention.  The ISTP poker face and generally calm demeanor will be a valuable asset in negotiations – you know they can hold their cool under pressure – and they trust no one.  Furthermore, your motor skills are weak at best, and the boss figure really ought to be able to handle a weapon.

So, INTJ, how do you go about securing yourself a nice, enigmatic ISTP?  Let’s get started.

Step #1: Hold Auditions

ISTPs are lone rangers, and not easily persuaded to consort with others.  Luckily, you don’t need to find the ISTP; let the ISTP come to you.

“Lone Ranger Reboot: Open Auditions” – or so your flier will read.

Post these fliers strategically:

  • Dōjōs
  • Near the aluminium foil in the store
  • Conspiracy Theor- I mean, Illuminati Awareness Groups’ Lodges
  • Civil War Reenactments

Step #2: The Survey

One unfortunate aspect of your ruse is that despite your efforts to target ISTPs, some actual thespians are bound to walk through the door.  How will you positively identify the ISTPs?  How will you know which ISTP is right for you?

INTJ, you need to develop a questionnaire.

This manual cannot do all the work for you, as your needs will vary depending on the nature of your nefarious plot.  One fortunate aspect of your ruse is that many of these questions will not seem out of place.  Suggested questions include:

  1. Do you prefer a boss who clearly communicates your objectives?
  2. Are you comfortable adapting to new and possibly unforeseen… developments?
  3. Do you have any experience handling firearms?
  4. Are you trained in hand-to-hand combat?
  5. How do you feel about robots replacing human interaction in the workplace?
  6. Do you find this survey in any way suspicious?

Find the ISTP who constructs a hat out of aluminium foil in response to Question 6 and explain to them that such hats are not stylish.

Then hire them.

Step #3 Convince Your ISTP To Work For You

That ISTP mistrust is a double-edged sword: it will work both for you and against you.  You hand-selected the most suspicious ISTP; now you have to convince them to work for you.  As you negotiate the terms of your contract, you may have a similar exchange with the ISTP (complete with suggested responses):

ISTP: Why should I work with you?

INTJ: For me.

INTJ: Because most of your contact with me will be limited to Bluetooth and robots.

Note: You can work the minions into the deal later.

ISTP: How can I trust you?

INTJ: You can’t.  Though, I tend to be loyal and currently have a use for you.

ISTP: Sold.


Did it work?  Congratulations!  You are now the proud owner employer of an ISTP.  Go build that diabolical empire, free to spend all of your time in the lab instead of recording your demands for billions of dollars from world governments.  That’s what the ISTP is for.  Do you think they’ll look good in a fedora?

anonymous asked:

Cana and Cherry! Diabolical

She dipped her head quickly. Hopefully they couldn’t see her smirking grin. She cleared her throat and took a breath. Nothing but an awkward chuckle came out.  Eventually, Cana got herself together. “Ah mean…”

Originally posted by favfemme

“…Always heard Cherry is the best flavor…” Cana coughed into her fist. “But for real…. She an’ Marsh’ are as cute as could be. He knows most about ‘er. Though they both owe us a double date….” She rubbed the back of her head. “But yah, ah’d ship it. At least try it out in the waters a while. Ah dunno ‘bout long term, but it tha’ weren’t an issue…” She gave a half shrug before glaring at the asker.  “Wha’? Ah’m only human… ‘ey, Don’t you get technical wit’ me!”


anonymous asked:

Why have you never considered the possibility that Heidi's wholesome image is just a facade and Cartman will actually end up be into her again because she's actually just as diabolical and crude as he is? She did show a few signs of actually liking Cartman's twisted sense of humor last season, if Trey and Matt really like having Heidi around as a character and not just Cartman's girlfriend, I think they may have some really huge plans for her this upcoming season, I can feel it!

That’s a possibility but I honestly don’t know what to expect when it comes to their relationship. My hope is that the two just break up because Cartman doesn’t trust girls anymore and don’t want Heidi to be hurt.



I’ll be giving you guys a special treat
I’m going to be answering every ask that comes my way (in actual color!)
as long as it comes before 12/26 (basically deadline Christmas)
m afraid my limit will probably be 20 tho lol
if i do get more than 20 ill try to cram it in just for you guys
anything is accepted

my sis who runs @ask-lusa is doin the same thing so


Esper (Your already here god damnit)