she is also pointing at you

Again

Originally posted by natpekis

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 7,501 (ok kinda sorry)

Warnings: angst!, a tiny bit of violence, swear words, alcohol

Summary: Being Bucky’s best friend (after Steve of course) gets a lot of perks - but being in love with him WHILE being his best friend means that your adoration must be kept a secret. That also means you have to silently endure every single encounter with women he has whether he tells you or you see it for yourself.

A/N: So this one shot is based on the Amy Shark song “Adore You” (she speaks to me on so many levels!) and I just really wanted a Bucky fic for it because he’d be absolutely clueless to someone adoring him like this…I also kind of skipped over the “oh look at him I’m in love with him” fluffy stuff and I just focused on the couple of days leading up to the point reader can’t take it anymore. I like the angst - it fuels me *evil laugh*

Y/F/I = Your First Initial


I’m just gonna stand with my bag hanging off my left arm

I’m just gonna walk home kicking stones at parked cars

But I had a great night ‘cause you kept rubbing against my arm

I’m just gonna stand with my bag hanging off my left arm


You hugged Wanda and Nat, giving small waves to the boys, before turning to Bucky. 

“Hey B, I’m going to head back to the tower. The mission took a bigger toll on me than I thought.” You made a show of rubbing your neck, hoping the sadness in your eyes would be mistaken for exhaustion.

Bucky turned away from the young, curvy brunette tucked under his arm, his smile fading as his eyes scanned over you with concern. He didn’t move away from her, nor did you move any closer, instead you gripped the strap of your bag hard, until your knuckles were white, in an effort to ignore the pain radiating through your chest.

“Are you sure? Did you want me to come with you?”

You gave serious thought to saying yes, knowing he’d probably give the woman a kiss and get her phone number before following you out of the bar, talking your ear off about how she was this and that. All the while, you would be fighting the anger and nausea bubbling up your throat, fighting back the urge to scream at him to shut up about her and every other woman, just fighting to keep your face neutral as you listened to the love of your life pine after any and every other woman but you.

Keep reading

I still stand by Caitlin.

Even though her “last minute” inner Caitlin coming up and saving the day was a little ridiculous because all up to that point she was pretty fine with being Killer Frost, I still and will always stand by Caitlin. Your hatred for Caitlin Snow/Killer Frost is fucking stupid, if you’re a hater reading this (I know y’all go into our tags and pretend you don’t you stalking idiots).

There was only one person who actually cared about her in that team and that was Cisco Ramon. Not Julian, absofuckinglutely not Barry and the others not even close to caring. Julian saw her as something to fix, Barry didn’t even remember her because he was so focused on saving Iris (everyone else be damned) and the others just didn’t care. But Caitlin didn’t need a cure, SHE NEEDED HER FRIENDS BY HER SIDE, HELPING HER FIGHT HER INNER DEMONS. SHE NEEDED PEOPLE SHE TRUSTED TO TELL HER GENUINELY THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE OKAY AND THAT THEY WOULD ACCEPT HER THE WAY SHE WAS.

EXPECT FROM CISCO RAMON, NOBODY DID THAT. 

SO YEAH, HELL FUCKING YEAH, I STAND BY CAITLIN WHO SUFFERED SO MUCH BUT STILL STAYED STRONG, AND CHOSE NOT TO CURE HERSELF BECAUSE NOW SHE KNOWS SHE CAN FIGHT HER INNER KILLER FROST PERSONA (or whatever the hell it was) ALL BY HER OWN. 

I always stood by Caitlin because when nobody was around to save her, she was always there to save others without waiting something in return. She sacrificed so much for the Team Flash and now she can find who she is and be MUCH stronger without them. 

And to those who are bashing Caitlin because she appearently has been a very bad person and DONE SO MUCH WRONG THAT SHE SHOULDN’T BE FORGIVEN, EX-CU-SE-ME FOR ONE SECOND. GO SIT ON YOUR GODDAMN ASSES AND LOOK AT WHAT BARRY HAS CAUSED, HOW MANY SELFISH ACTIONS HE HAD DONE AND HOW FIXATED HE IS ON JUST ONE PERSON THAN ANYONE ELSE. Then come and talk about what Caitlin has done wrong you sickheads.

Did we just get confirmation that Mona helped build the Dollhouse?

I’m paraphrasing here but ‘I wish I could have built something like this. Why build a dollhouse when you can turn the entire town into a dollhouse?’

To me this strongly suggests that she was involved in building the dollhouse, so at that point she hadn’t finished playing the game after all. She also said she knows what it’s like to build something like that, but as far as I’m aware she didn’t during her 'reign’ in Season 1, 2 and part of 3 did she?

otteroflore replied to your video: Widow’s Ballet Emote

on one hand im in love bc i went to a ballet literally sunday but on the other im disappointed shes not, you know, en pointe properly? ;3; shes dancing tiptoe but not in a ballet stance.

I’m also…. kind of going to nitpick, but….

As an ex-ballet dancer, she’s not hitting her lines properly. Her third position (which should probably be fifth, really), isn’t tight enough. Her hands and arms don’t… extend properly? Like there should be more extension, more weight in her fingers and more flow as she does that arabesque. Dancer lines need to really flow and she’s a little wooden. 

You could argue this is just because she lacks a lot of emotion and passion in her moves (except for the sorrow when her eyes are closed at the end), but it’s one thing that bothers me when they get actors to pretend to be ballet dancers in movies. Their hands are never dynamic enough. Ballet dancer arms and legs and body should move as if in a wave, effortlessly, beautifully, flowingly? Here’s a youtube video of a dancer doing BEAUTIFUL flow and lines. 

Widow’s moves lack flow here. It bothers me :|

…..having said that, I’m purchasing it immediately when i get home and using it constantly anyway, and I’m glad it exists XD

anonymous asked:

I have this Dad! Bucky HC that made my sister laugh, so ima share it with you! Where Bucky's little girl loves all things superhero, she's completely infatuated with Captain America and IronMan but doesn't believe that Uncle Tony nor Uncle Stevie is those people. But she also doesn't understand why Bucky gets attention in the street and gets rather jealous of other children wanting a hug from him (and also Stevie) "You're my dad and uncle, no one else's. Got it!?" She'd point sternly with a pout

Omg how adorable!

Daddy Wednesday™

anonymous asked:

I too thought very specifically the "name was safest" in Lauren's mouth for Camila. From day one, literally Lauren executed perfect Cuban pronunciation of Camila's name. Also, Lauren always spoke her name so tenderly with palpable love and reverence. Soft Cameelas and a warm Camz. Lauren was always her defender and clearly adored her at one point. She wasn't prone to make accidental mistakes or rumor slips like Dinah. I think Camila felt safest with Lauren's understanding of her and her name.

Yesss. This brings a lot of emotions on me, “Soft Cameelas and Warm Camz” makes me picture her saying it and what you’re getting at makes a lot of sense if you think about it.

xenart  asked:

padme is a pretty princess character with a bunch of power who changed the world with her kindness she's SO DISNEY MATERIAL IDK WHY THEY DONT USE HER actually yes i do know its bc its impossible to make her a main character while also insisting that anakin is your typical angry white bro protagonist. if its from padme's point of view then you hAVE to show that anakin is a sweet soft boy

THIS TEA IS SCALDING!!!!!! WOW tho to be fair they could easily do a pre-aotc or even pre-tpm padme story that doesn’t involve anakin lmao BUT YOU’RE STILL ABSOLUTELY RIGHT

@koori-mizu replied to your post:

“Jellal wanted to kill Erza like SS and also japan raw implies that Jellal was in his mind when he wanted to kill her”

If you have the source to the Japanese version, share this with me, and I’ll get my friend to read this to clarify your point because she can read Japanese. 

From what I read in the manga, I see quite the opposite with what Mashima was trying to show me. It was pointed out that Jellal wasn’t in his right mind all those years when he was under Ultear’s manipulation, kinda like she was the one planting these ideas in his mind, where Jellal thought they were his but he was just a puppet to Ultears plans, this was revealed in the manga. Jellal wasn’t in his right mind to make correct decisions because this was locked away by Ultear when she had control of him. Mashima even go as far as to have Ultear revealed the truth that none of those crimes Jellal did in the tower was entirely Jellal’s fault because he was being controlled by Ultear. 

Mashima made this point quite clear. We also know this because when we take the real Jellal (under NO manipulation) before he was manipulated and after he was freed from Ultears manipulation, we know for a fact that the real Jellal have always wanted to protect Erza with his life. He even wanted to take Erza’s place for the punishment instead when those guards found out they were trying to escape the tower. After Jellal was freed from Ultears manipulation, the first thing he did was (again) saved her by taking her place to infuse his body with the Lacrima instead.  Remember it was said that a body needed to be fused, that’s why Erza offered herself up to save Natsu…And, the last we’ve seen of Erza before Natsu carried her to shore was she offered her body up with the Lacrima (as a sacrifice) to save Natsu, it was pointed out that’s the only way, but she can’t be saved unless another person take her place.  Natsu isn’t the only one who saved Erza, Jellal did too. We know this person is Jellal because both Natsu and Erza was saved and the next time we’ve seen Jellal again, his body was covered with Lacrima. Honestly, I’m not sure why it’s so hard for people to understand the real Jellal never wanted to kill Erza, he has always wanted to protect Erza with his life. It was pointed out over and over again in the manga and I’m sure this is what Mashima wants to convey even if there are haters who refuse to believe it and believe that he wanted to kill Erza and it was within his right mind that time even when we have Mashima made Ultear revealed Jellal wasn’t the one to be blamed entirely:

Jellal isn’t someone who will pass the blame/faults on another person.  Jellal didn’t fault Ultear in any of this because (like said) he isn’t someone who wants to pass the blame on others. He is taking responsibility of his actions in the tower for the “crimes” he’s committed even when we (who take context into account) know he can’t be fault entirely. Mashima made sure readers are understood that when Jellal wanted to kill Erza, he WASN’T in his right mind, that’s why we are introduced of the Jellal prior to/after he was freed from his manipulation…For this whole truth, this needed to be told through Ultear’s mouth because Jellal won’t say it, this doesn’t make him a wimp, it just shows that he doesn’t like to fault others for his crimes and he understands that despite he doesn’t have full control of his actions back then, he needed to take responsibility for his crimes/actions because it’s within his character, he’s not running away from his crimes, and he’s also not someone who will pass this blame to another person, even when that person (Ultear) have to take responsibility for Jellal’s crimes as well. 

Yes, Jellal felt great remorse for his actions (this shows me how kind he truly is by the way), because while we know that isn’t his real self when he committed all these, and he also knows this as well, but it doesn’t change the fact that those memories and actions will always be with him even when he was freed from Ultears manipulation because he knows he’s the one who gave into the darkness, he knows he’s still the one who committed those crimes with his own two hands, and he can’t forgive himself for this. He also couldn’t forgive himself for getting that happiness with Erza because he have hurted her greatly and quite frankly I believe he actually hated himself for that. He just wants Erza to be happy. 

When it comes to Jerza, there’s also a reason why Mashima gave a back story to Jellal and Erza and how the real Jellal treated Erza before he has fallen into the darkness. This is for us to understand and take Jellal’s real character into account when judging his actions. When we ignore the whole part Ultear was playing with his mind, and we look at his real character, you’ll know that the REAL Jellal (under NO manipulation) have always risked his life to protect Erza. He was even willing to take Erza’s place for the punishment in the TOH as well. That’s the REAL Jellal. Also, he did the same thing after he was revived by Wendy in the OS arc, when he lost all his memories (yet, that’s the pure side to him), he just wanted to take all those sadness away from Erza by sacrificing himself because he doesn’t want Erza to be sad anymore (even without his memories, this is what he wanted), until Erza told him to live and convinced him to deactivate the destructive spell he placed on himself). We also see when Midnight came, Jellal stand in front of Erza to protect her even when he knows he doesn’t have much magic level/stamina left…that’s the real Jellal mind you. 

For someone who was in the right mind to kill Erza, he wouldn’t need to take this long to forgive himself. I mean it didn’t take Ultear long to forgive herself for those crimes she committed.. nor did it take the other characters like Gajeel long to forgive himself when he tried to kill Levy…I mean mind you, Gajeel was within his right mind when he did that to Levy… do you understand the difference? (no offense here)

Lastly, when I said someone is within their right mind to do something, I meant it as they can make decisions of their own without anyone influence or manipulation, we know that their sanity was not locked away and they can make decisions of their own actions. Jellal couldn’t when we know Ultear was controlling him like a puppet. Mashima revealed this, he made her said this after Jellal was freed from her manipulation, why do you think Mashima go so far as to have this explained? Why do you think Mashima go so far as to show us all this and what Jellal real character was like when he have the right mind to make the correct decisions in comparison when he was being manipulated? It’s to show us the difference between the two and want us to understand that the real Jellal wouldn’t have done any of those. When Ultear manipulated Jellal it almost felt like (to me) Jellal’s real character was locked away by the darkness and the Jellal that was being manipulated can no longer see the light or what is the right thing, to him the right thing is reviving Zeref, but these weren’t his real thoughts because Ultear was controlling his way of thinking and manipulating him this whole time (even though Jellal thought they were his thoughts and the one in control). It’s almost like, it’s Jellal’s body, with his memories intact but his real self/character was locked away because he was her puppet. This is fact.  When Jellal was freed from Ultears manipulation, you know what his character was like for all that I said.

anonymous asked:

Can you give some examples of times when Ohba has seemed homophobic? I hope you don't mind, I just feel like I may have missed some evidence.

It is more subtle in Death Note itself.

In Death Note, it’s only hinted through the homophobic comment Misa makes (”Two guys being chained together like that is kinda gross”) which could still be her IC opinion only as well as Rem’s statement that she isn’t in love with Misa because “she is female, too” which is presented as completely self-evident, because why would women ever fall in love with women, you know?

But what I mean primarily is his first “gay” character, in Platinum End.

Spoilers for PE as well as CW for rape under the read more. Also it’s very NSFW because I’m including caps to drive the point home.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm kind of not surprised that Jughead's dominant. Not only did he make the first move, but have you noticed how much he likes control? Growing up as he did and being bullied, Jughead probably learned at an early age how to steer things the direction that he wanted them to. Look how in control he was when interrogating Dilton Dooley and then his cadet. Jughead's the best type of dominant because he's not about taking away Betty's agency nor does he resist following her lead.

You actually make some VERRRYYY good points….I also think he’s only dominant when he feels A) confident and B) works for the situation. TBH, it’s been pointed out that Betty knows what SHE wants and is very determined, something that’s only now really coming out and she clearly feels better for no longer suppressing….but it also appears she kinda likes giving over control sexually to some degree.

Which, since I’m pretty similar—-flexible if I don’t care about something, rigid if I do—and generally more comfortable being slightly more submissive romantically, I get that.—-and I’m generally a pretty assertive person as a whole.

His dad is also, by nature, a pretty effortless leader (when he isn’t drinking, that is), who has several times demonstrated pure velvet hammer action, as well as being a surprisingly effective and creative problem solver. It’s fairly apparent Jughead’s proving to have a lot more of his daddy’s qualities (thus far the better ones) than he realized.

Likewise, they both seem to ascribe to this weird (but actually works and is all kinds of hot) combo of this very macho, but gentlemanly guy who isn’t one bit misogynistic—or a silent: “yes, I’m fully aware that you can do all these things for yourself, I admire and respect you—but it really turns me on to open the door for you and take care of you”. I mean FP’s “man up” was actually, “put HER first, because you two love each other and you need to do this”

Interestingly, I think we’ll see Juggie use these same leadership skills with the Serpents going forward, as well as probably looking to bring about social change.

anonymous asked:

If titles means nothing, why does Dany wants Jon's title in the first place? Isn't that title basically pointless as Davos said it or you? I agree titles are pointless but this part of her arc makes her look too much about power. Obviously titles means a lot to Dany and she wants all of it under her rule. First of all she has to fight for it against night king.

If you read what Lads said, Dany is not convinced of the threat of the white walkers till she sees it herself. Would you really believe some story told by a virtual stranger whose basically asking you to abandon something you’ve fought your whole life for just to follow him to some unknown place because of a threat no one even believes is real! The fact that some of you can’t even consider this from Dany’s point of view is really annoying. You also miss the part where Lads CLEARLY states after Dany and Jon get back from the North and she’s clearly shaken up from what she witnessed including the death of Viserion, he wants to kneel and she tells him not to. He does so anyway. Also if we’re to believe Lads 2.0 Dany is taken aback at Jon kneeling in public so WHY are y'all still drumming on about Dany being selfish and still wanting him to kneel even after she’s seen the white walkers? It’s simply not the case and you’re only hanging onto that thought to make her look bad. Enough already.

anonymous asked:

Hey,how are thing's currently in Malawi? I talked about the events that happened there to my mother(our entire family is Filipino) and she praised Duterte as a good person who 'works his ass off for the country'. And denies accounts from people here on Tumblr as people paid to make Duterte look bad.

I have too much evidence proving that Duterte is anything but a good person but I think you already know that. Marawi is still in conflict and with martial law declared (still debatable if it’s a good move) it’s hard to get information on their situation.

Also, I just want to point out that there are also people paid to “troll” the people against Duterte. They have actual headquarters. I can’t explicitly say where or under what guise they have but it exists.

Going back to Marawi, the people here are trying to gather funds and relief goods to send to them. All entry points are unfortunately closed so it’s more of gathering necessities and sending them asap when they eventually open an entry point. We’re trying. It won’t replace the lives lost but all help matters.

anonymous asked:

Im normally a support main but the other day I was playing Zarya. I gave our mercy barriers and saved her a ton, and when damaging ults came our way I made her the priority for the barriers; shes the important one here! She actually noticed at some point and began thanking me a lot. She also would defend me when Id put the barrier on her and get the chance to go Battle Mercy... long story short she was really appreciative and Im glad I helped another Mercy out :)

<33333 Thank you for being the best kind of person. Everything would be so much easier if everyone actually knew what kind of hell us support mains went through and become a little more thoughtful of them like you are.

(Ironically when I play D.Va I’m the exact opposite kind of person that leaves our support to fend for themselves, but at least I never ask for healing)

zenosanalytic said: and also irrelevant. You make a cogent point and they say something entirely unrelated in response. It’d be like if you were talking about accessibility in buildings, they were arguing against it, and you pointed out some people are born with limited mobility, or rendered limitedly mobile by illness or injury through no fault of their own, and they said “Yeah, but some people try to jump motorcycles over cars and crash out, so we shouldn’t have ramps and auto-doors”

‘but what if while helping 999 people, 1 person gets something they didn’t deserve??’ is a bizarrely common worldview

zenosanalytic said: oh man this guy lives in an entirely different world. He obviously doesn’t know that most job advancement REQUIRES degrees. That a hell of a lot of non-menial jobs, even generally bureaucratic people-facing stuff like social workers and case-managers, requires a master’s degree, at minimum.

the guy has been in the federal government since 1997, he is completely detached from reality

and so is my state that keeps electing him back

WIP meme

I was tagged to do this by @phd-mama ! ily! <3

Do Dis: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever.

Okay, when did I become the person with 84 WIPs?? Waahhhh I don’t know how this happened! 

1. When I got this yesterday I was going to put my WIP Tomlinshaw, but nope! It’s finally finished and the last chapter went up a few hours ago. Whew. But at some point I’m going to write an epilogue for it. 

2. Okay, the next thing to be published will be the next 1000 Feelings challenge prompt. I’m writing a timestamp for Looking Through You based on the #17th feeling (lol) and also something @silentlarryshipper said to me when she finished the fic. So that’ll be up next week. 

3. I have a Larry summer exchange fic I’m writing that I have about 2k written for. It’s a neighbors au, enemies to lovers. But it’s pretty lighthearted really. I think.

4. I’m writing a remix fic for the lfremix. I’m remixing Why Can’t It Be Like That by @taggiecb which I have helpfully linked for you. Go read it if you haven’t! It’s amazing! Anyway, in this one it picks up after the fic leaves off by about 9 months. It’s its own little story though. I have 2k of this written.

5. I’m writing something for the hlyearly fic fest as well. (I know. I KNOW. I signed up for all the things.) I have about 3k written of this fic, that I actually started last year because I thought it was going to be my big bang fic, but I had a meltdown about it and ended up writing Looking Through You instead. But I think I know what I’m doing with it now. It starts with H&L in high school and flashes forward to ten years later when they meet again. 

6. Oh no. lol at meself. I thought that was it for the ones I’ve started, but I found another doc. I’ve got 1k written for the Larried in Vegas fic fest. Dang. I want to finish that one, too. 


To come: more 1000 Feelings fics, Historical exchange (a Regency au), Reverse Bang, and if @louandhazaf is still up for a Tomlinshaw exchange I’ll sign up for that too. 

Okay, I’ll tag @juliusschmidt @magicalrocketships @a-writerwrites @icanhazzalou @lululawrence @louandhazaf if you’d like to share with us and haven’t done it yet! 

anonymous asked:

What would the kittens between a cream point molly and a black smoke tabby tom look like?

Before we start going into kittens, let me just add that a cat cannot be smoke and tabby all at the same time - a solid silver cat is a smoke, but with tabby pattern it becomes a silver tabby, aka your tom there is a silver tabby, not a smoke. I know it can be difficult to navigate, especially because shorthair smokes have such heavy underlying patterning. ^^

Either way, working by the idea that your tom is genetically tabby, you have these obvious outcomes: 

- Red tabby toms
- Red silver tabby toms
- Red-black tabby tortoiseshell she-cats
- Red-black silver tabby tortoiseshell she-cats

Now if the point lass is a non-tabby, and the tom also carries non-tabby, you can add these additional designs to the litter: 

- Red non-tabby toms
- Red silver smoke toms
- Red-black solid tortoiseshell she-cats
- Red-black silver smoke tortoiseshell she-cats

Additionally, we know the molly is dilute, but unless the tom also carries dilution (grey) in his genetic makeup, you cannot have diluted offspring. However if you’d like that, then you can add the cream and blue-cream versions of all of the above here, f.ex. cream tabby toms and cream-blue torties. 

Lastly, in regard to the mother cat being pointed, that too is something that the children may well inherit - however unless the father carries any sort of albinism/colourpoint gene none of them will come to express it at all. If you decide you want a point kitten or two in this mix despite that, you can add colourpoint to all of the designs above, f.ex. red point toms, and tortie point she-cats. 

Hope that helped a little :)

anonymous asked:

I have a crush on a coworker, who is also a family friend’s daughter: “It doesn’t feel right because I’ve known her since I was 5 .”

Wait whut? how old is she? Age doesn’t matter anyway if you guys jive and all. 🤙🏻 it may feel so wrong to the point it is so right. 👌🏻

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry, I love youuu but I kinda desagree about the whole eva x sana thing? I mean, I'm also super tired of noora but I don't think Eva would be the right choice for sana? cause, seriously, I can be missing something here, but when, since the start of s4, has eva showed she cares about sana? like, in a deeper way. actually, when, since the start of the Show, has eva showed she really cares about sana? I just don't see it?

Hi, Anon!!!

I understand that, completely. And I think, maybe, they’re slowly building up to that point, where Eva and Sana perhaps just, speak. And I’d rather it be slow, you know? For it to feel natural. Sana and Noora just … it happened so fast? There was no buildup, like how Eva and Sana are getting it.

And I feel like Sana is going to be shown to be talking to a few different people. Jamilla, Elias, her Ammi, her Abba, Isak, Even, Eva … like, she’ll talk to a whole load of people, rather than just one sole person, so that she can bare her soul out to different people in different ways that can offer her different words of adivce based off their experiences, which will enhance Sana’s own growth. 

So yeah, it’s a buildup. And I’d rather see a good slow buildup, than one that’s just rushed and ruined and leaves a bitter taste in the mouth, like Sana and Noora.

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness

iwasapruneratfaverolles  asked:

PLEASE TELL THE CHILDREN THE STORY OF MS. STUBELS

Grace fuck, why would you invoke her name like that???

Okay, fine, gather round children, buckle up because we’re going on a bumpy ride back to everyone’s collective least favorite place: 7th grade.

Some background: I went to a very small Catholic school. One class per grade (we were the largest with 19 kids), everyone knew each other whether they wanted to or not. Despite basically every teacher and faculty members insistence that we were The Best And Most Special Class In The School and that everyone loved having us, the longstanding 7th grade teacher Mrs. O’Hara decided to retire in the summer of 2008, meaning the school had to find us a new teacher for the upcoming year. This would be like, the first new teacher in the school in a while, and as she was getting the ‘best class’, it was viewed as a Big Deal. Somewhere in like July or August we got a letter announcing Mrs. Stubel, and it came with a list of books to pick for the summer reading, and that was basically all the information we had.

So…the first day of class. She seems nice enough. Very…ditsy, I guess? It was very easy for her to get herself off topic while talking. She constantly paced around the room, never staying in one spot for longer than a second, complaining she has restless leg syndrome. Which like, I’m sure she did, but she was in the middle of introducing herself and then went on a 20 minute tangent about restless leg syndrome without anyone prompting her. It was almost like you could see her scattered thoughts flying around her head.

So anyone, she eventually gives somewhat of an introduction- she had only taught in public schools before, and kept worrying she ‘didn’t know’ how to teach in a Catholic school despite the entire class insisting literally nothing was different, you just teach the curriculum, twice a week we have religion class with Sister Mary King, that’s literally it (she still talked over us in worry), she told us about her kids, she told us about her obsession with Emily Dickinson, stuff like that.

And then she hands us this worksheet.

She’s like, “Oh, these are just some basic questions for you to answer! Just so I can get to know you guys better!” like in lieu of an icebreaker game, which is fine, but…the questions. The questions were all “What is your most haunting fear?”, “What is your deepest regret?”, “Have you ever experienced the pain of loss?”, “What was your worst injury?”, “What was your worst nightmare?”, all questions like that, and then on the back she wanted us to draw a gravestone and write out what we wanted our epitaph to be.

We were twelve year olds, mind you.

Oh my God and one girl missed the first day because of her grandmother’s funeral, so when she came the next day and saw what the teacher was insisting she do for homework, she almost had a panic attack? And the lady still made her do it? Literally who wants to think about death anymore at a time like that omfg.

Okay, so then we get to the summer reading book reports, right? Now, she had given a list of maybe, 20 books that you could pick from, read it, and then present an oral report on it. You had to have notecards and you had to be able to answer questions from the class at the end. All in all, I’ve had worse projects.

So, on this list, she apparently put Madeleine L’Engle’s entire book series on the list…only she did not make it known that this was a series and not multiple stand alone books, so when reports started up it caused mass-panic of kids trying to put together plot points and make connections on what the hell they had read.

I was the only kid in the class who had chosen to read “A Wrinkle In Time”, and that has since lead to a series of events that…really actually scares me, I’m still incredibly freaked out, I’m not going to get into it right now because it’ll take away from the current story, but just know that I’m not above wondering if it only happened because I read the book for Stubel.

Anyway, so like, I got through the report okay. The class asking questions about it was fine, but the teacher kept asking questions that didn’t make sense, like, at all. My friend Angie has always had super neat handwriting and Mrs. Stubel got like, obsessed with her notecards and asked if she could borrow them for something. When we got our grades back a few weeks later, Angie had points taken off for not having notecards.

And then her teaching just…didn’t happen. She’d never stay on a topic, she’d always get herself distracted! We were not learning anything. And like, this wasn’t a class of advanced smart kids that loved to learn. By all accounts we should’ve been thrilled. But it got out of hand. It got to points where we had to start teaching lessons to ourselves, asking teacher from other grades for help, always coming home in tears, complaining constantly to our parents and the principal because this woman wasn’t teaching us anything. There were two kids who asked her multiple times for extra help, and she told them each time to ‘talk to me after school’, but then she’d leave immediately after school so they wouldn’t be able to talk to her. They finally brought up the issue in the middle of class and she had a breakdown, yelling about how nobody ever thinks that maybe the teacher has a lot of work to do, and maybe she’s entitled to taking off early, but when we tried to argue she shouldn’t schedule meetings and then break them off in the name of relaxation, she stormed out of the room and tried to get the principal to give us detention. (Which, like, our school didn’t even do, and she was the only one in the wrong during this situation) We are still in September at this point, and already at least ten kids have parents considering transferring them to another school. (And remember, there was only 19 of us, and most of the class had been together since preschool, so that was a big deal).

Then, she starts coming in with all the weird bruises. All the Moms™ immediately started gossiping that her husband had to be beating her, and that’s why she was so screwy in the head. But the way she talked about her husband made it seem like he *might* be dead, and we actually did witness her fall and smack her head into a doorknob once, so no one really knew what to believe. (Also, I’m not trying to imply that abuse would make someone crazy or ‘damaged’ or anything, this is just what was being said. I think they were trying to turn her into a more sympathetic character, because if you feel sorry for her you don’t have to hate her for frustrating your kids so much, and Hate Is A Bad Emotion.)

Also…this woman and Emily Dickinson.

She talked about Emily Dickinson every chance she could get. None of us knew who Emily Dickinson really was before she got there and you could see in her mind it was a capitol offense. She found out the curriculum didn’t have room to cover her (because like, we had a text book), and was way too upset about it. She started reading her poems whenever she found the time (usually somewhere in history class), and always gave us very detailed accounts about her dressing up as Emily and reading her poetry at the library.

Now, two things to note here:

  1. The library did not hire her to do this. She would literally just get in the mood, put on an Emily Dickinson costume that she made by herself, drive to different libraries, and just read poetry out loud to everyone there until someone eventually asked her to leave.
  2. The way she described these events…her tone, the look on her face, her posture…you could just tell that she was getting some sort of sexual gratification out of this? Like dressing up as Emily Dickinson in public and reading her sad poems is really what got this lady’s jollies rocking? Got her all hot and bothered? Which is…a lot, but why would you tell a bunch of seventh graders about it holy shit. What about that sounds like a good idea! What about that turns you back on!

So anyway, we learned a lot about Emily Dickinson against our will.

One of the Davids™ was reading a book for pleasure- which shouldn’t have been a shocker, a lot of kids always had books on them, but Stubel got really interested and asked if she could borrow it from him. He was like ‘sure, after I finish it?’ but she took it that day. He asked her for it back for like five weeks straight.

And…the strudels.

Okay, so the school was trying some dorky thing to promote ~togetherness~ or some virtue or something, I don’t remember the specifics of why, but each class had to make a huge themed poster and hang it on the wall outside the classroom. Which was like, whatever, not the most thrilling project but at least it allowed us to be productive vs just sitting there as the teacher runs about the room rambling about her family vacation from four years ago. Mrs. Stubel decided we needed a quirky nickname and after like three days of deliberation we were christened “Stubel’s Special Strudels”!

(points for alliteration or whatever, but no one actually voted for that and what exactly do strudels have to do with Catholicism? It became a big running joke amongst the kids)

Also, in case you were wondering, she didn’t explain the assignment correctly to us- so every other class had like these beautiful, artistic, well-themed and put together posters, while ours was just…literally a bunch of shit thrown together on paper. Nothing fit with each other, it was literally embarrassing to look at.

But then…she wouldn’t drop the strudel thing. Like she kept bringing it up. She got really into strudels and would just tell us random shit about them. Finally, someone jokes that we should get strudels one day for a party (like instead of a pizza party), and she’s Freaking Out and On Board. She really wants to buy us strudels and have a breakfast party now. She talked about it for like two days straight.

So like… you know in school when you would have a pizza party, usually the teacher would buy it? That’s how they always happened in my experience (not counting the last day of 10th grade when some kid had pizza delivered to the school for lunch but it didn’t get there until math class lol). But especially in grade school? Like if it wasn’t a PTA made party that’s super organized, the school would buy the food, right? Right?

Yeah, so she was like, if this is happening you guys need to give me the money. Just give me the money and then I’ll pick them up on my way to work!! And after some arguing some kids are on board. Strudels should only cost a couple dollars right?

And she’s like, oh no, I’m gonna get them from this high end bakery near my house so it’ll be special, but they’re not cheap and it’ll be a big order! I’m gonna need like fifteen dollars from each of you!

And at this point I’m just like…lady. Come on. 

But she keeps insisting. She’s not gonna go until every student in class pays up.

And I’m like…I’m poor. I don’t even like strudel.  And some of the less-naïve kids are siding with me.

And then she pulls that “you guys are just spoiling all the fun for your classmates” shit, like the naïve kids who already paid up, so it gets to the point where we just gotta cave and give her the money.

(I ended up stealing it out of my Crazy Bitch Aunt’s wallet so it’s whatever, I guess.)

And then of course, shockingly enough, every morning she was met with “where are the strudels?” and every morning she went wide eyed, slapped her forehead and yelled in embarrassed horror “I totally forgot! Tomorrow, guys, I promise!”

Honestly, with how scatterbrained and confused she always was…like to this day I can’t tell you with 100% certainty whether she hustled us or was just actually forgetting about the damn pastries, I choose to lean towards the hustled us side because that’s just the type of people I’m used to, but if I found out it was innocent forgetfulness I wouldn’t exactly be surprised.

She couldn’t handle more than one person talking at a time. Like, we’d have break periods, or group work, or something and all the talking made her go wide-eyed and batty. She’d look overworked and anxious and would be darting around the room trying to do work or something but she couldn’t focus and she’d yell at anyone who tried to talk to her directly. I remember one time she was using this boys desk for something so he asked “where am I supposed to sit?” and she snapped “Sit on the ceiling for all I care!”. And this kid was the Class Clown™ , so he immediately grabbed a chair in one hand and started climbing the bookcase to try and reach the ceiling. She’s standing right next to this and doesn’t even notice. He got all four chair legs planted on the ceiling and was trying to somehow maneuver his way into the chair (I really don’t know what the plan was exactly- he was really tall and it was a small building, so I think he probably had the idea that if he can get his body upside down and in the chair, and stretch out his arms like a hand-stand to hold onto bookcase, he could arguably sit on the ceiling.) but he slipped. Crashed into my desk and the two desks next to me, knocked over the book case, broke the chair in half and hit the desks with enough force to knock them down lower. It was hilarious. Everyone was loosing their shit cracking up (he was fine) and it still took Stubel like five minutes to notice his lying out across the desks right in front of her eyes. She was pissed but how did she miss any of it in the first place? She was barely being helpful in whatever it was she was trying to do.

This was the year the Phillies were going to the World Series, and all the grades were having a Phillies Rally in the cafeteria so a news crew was coming to the school and each class was supposed to come up with fun little cheers for them to broadcast. Multiple cheer ideas were presented to her and she vetoed all of them, someone even suggested just singing the damn eagles theme song with replaced words and calling it a day but she vetoed that too, she was very adamant that she could come up with a cheer all by herself and it’ll be the best one (whoever had the best cheer was winning like an ice cream day or something idk). And then like…literally five minutes before the rally she just hands us signs with the letters and was like ‘we’re just gonna spell out Phillies it will be cute won’t it my strudels???’. We were the weakest class there, predictably. I think we lost to the kindergarteners. There might still be a video online of me yelling “ i “ passionately at the top of my lungs. It was online bc our cheer was so bland the news crew cut it out of the broadcast.

I literally can’t say enough about how she never taught us anything. She’d be going on some tangent about how she doesn’t understand the science behind skiing, and I’d be like “Okay yes but please can you just tell me where Romania is on a map???” And she’d start fights whenever someone actually wanted to learn. It was so easy to get her angry but so hard for her to stay on topic. Kids started teaching the class themselves! Like seriously, she’d be rambling and one of us would just go up to the podium, open the teacher’s guide textbook and just start reading out loud and talking over her. By the time she noticed we’d be halfway through a lesson. And we understood it better than when she tried! You know something’s wrong when pre-teens are more qualified for a job than an adult who supposedly went to school for this.

We were in the church having run-throughs for our upcoming Confirmation and she almost set the church on fire…fifteen different times. In less than half an hour. How hard is it to hold a candle?

Okay, and here’s when stuff starts kicking up. It was October 28th, a Tuesday, and it was our last day of school that week because they were having parent-teacher conferences the rest of the week. So we were just hanging out, watching movies in class and reading (lord knows we weren’t learning), and Stubel calls me over to her desk.

So like, she had given everyone little bags with candy for Halloween, but I get up there and she hands me an extra one. And she’s like “Molly I know your birthday is tomorrow and I bought you a present but I left it on my coffee table this morning by accident! So just have the candy for now!”

And I’m like….”Ma’am I’m like, the sixth birthday this year. You didn’t give anyone else presents?”

And she goes “Oh, I know but this is a special secret surprise. I just know you’re gonna love it! Do you wanna stop by my house later this week to pick it up or should I just give it to you Monday after school?”

And like…In writing this sounds like a non-threatening exchange, and like, it was, but I felt so uncomfortable holy shit. I’m looking over my shoulder and shooting my friends SOS signals. Something about this felt so weird in my gut omfg. I told her thanks and I’d just see her Monday.

So we flash forward to Wednesday- my 13th birthday, the day the Phillies won the world series, and also the day my mother innocently strolled into the school for her meeting only to be met with screaming, the sound of heavy destruction, and the school secretary Mrs. Daily running at her in a panic, waving her arms and yelling “YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED GET IN MY OFFICE NOW!”

So my poor mother, who thought she could handle this whole meeting in a few minutes and barely be an hour late for work, is now barricaded in the front office with the school secretary, as the noises from down the hall get louder and louder. The woman explains that they had gotten so many complaints about Mrs. Stubel that this morning, when she got to the school, the principal Sister Patricia called her in and said “Listen, we need you to be professional and still have the parent conferences, but we have to let you go. We just don’t think you fit in well here, and the kids need to come first and feel comfortable in their school.” and like, I’m paraphrasing because I wasn’t there, but we all know she was very polite and professional about it.

Mrs. Stubel, however…was not.

She flipped her chair and stormed out of the office, and locks herself in the seventh grade classroom. She started wrecking the shit out of that place, screaming obscenities and the top of her lungs, they had to call the cops on her! She was locked in there for almost an hour! And let me just give you a nice little list of everything she did in that classroom:

  • Smashed three windows.
  • Threw everything off her desk and carved swear words all over it.
  • Got cleaning fluid that she knew would damage the chalk boards, smeared it all over.
  • Cracked the chalk boards by repeatedly smashing chairs against them.
  • Wrote swear words all over the walls and on desks
  • Went into students desks, ripped up their books.
  • Stole my glasses. (which were in my desk bc I only used them in class at the time)
  • Threw some desks around.
  • Carved swear words into the boards. (there was so much carving I’m assuming she just had a knife on her person, which has to lead to the question, did she have a knife on her while she was in class with us?)
  • Physically ripped the hooks to hang backpacks on out of the wall.
  • Knocked the closet door off it’s hinges.
  • Ripped up all the books in the bookcases and threw their pages all around the room.
  • Wrote lewd phrases inside student’s desks.
  • Broke multiple chairs.
  • Used her podium as a battering ram against the wall that’s in front of where the backpacks go. (the wall won but Damage Was Inflicted)
  • Set a fire in the trash can.
  • When the principal and other teachers started trying to get in, she tossed her rolling chair at the door to scare them off.
  • She was screaming curse words at the top of her lungs the entire time, and cursing the school and the kids and the principal and the church in general, and the school building was small, so all the parents and the smaller children that had to come to the meetings (who were locked in their respective classrooms in fear) heard everything.
  • So much more? But it’s 4:30 in this morning and this list is already long.

So my mom is in the front office and deadass the

entire police force

shows up, running down the hallway to the classroom yelling at her to stop, and it takes a while for them to get her out holy shit. They knocked down the door and she tried to escape out of one of the broken windows! But they got her and dragged her out.

So of course, in such a small school with very involved parents this shit spread like wildfire. The entire town knew within the day. The poor principal called the newly retired old-seventh grade teacher and was like “So we…need some help” and the lady was like “I already heard I’ll be there Monday” omfg. I remember I got a text from one of my classmates saying “if your birthday wish was for us to be set free from the beast I love you” omfg.

So, we eventually go back to school on Monday and everyone’s buzzing. The principal has us go to the cafeteria and she ‘delicately’ explains the situation, and that the old teacher is coming out of retirement for us, the school has a restraining order against Mrs. Stubel now and that she’s sorry we had to deal with this mess. Our classroom had to go under some heavy reconstruction before we could be let back in there, so for like two weeks we alternated between the cafeteria and the preschooler’s classroom, we had no books or anything, just provided loose-leaf paper and pens. It was like, surreal, but everyone was just so happy to be rid of her and to be in the presence of a competent teacher omfg. We eventually were able to get back into our usual classroom.

  1. It took a while for things to go completely back to normal, though. After the big spectacle she made, for weeks after she was fired we were all very scared of the possibility of Mrs. Stubel returning to the school with a gun in hand. It was always a topic we whispered about at lunch with wide eyes and shivers. Like…genuine nightmare scenario.
  2. About two weeks after she was fired, a boy in the back of the classroom gasped loudly during SSR, and when we all looked at him, he whispered in anger “She never gave us our freakin’ strudels!”
  3. About three months after she was fired, we were lined up at the door to go to Library when a few of us looked through the windows and saw something darting through the trees. It was fast and we couldn’t make anything out, so we let it drop. When the class and teacher returned half and hour later, the book she had borrowed months before from one of the boys was sitting on his desk. It was just laying there, the room was silent, nothing had been disturbed…but I have never seen a book look so threatening. People were freaking out. Someone kept insisting that she turned the book into a bomb. No one figure out how she got in the school, and no one could figure out how she got it on the right desk, as we had switched the seating arrangement since she had last been there.  
  4. A full six months after she had left, it was nearing the end of the school year and our class was dicking around during our last computer class. Someone found a website (that we weren’t allowed to be on) that pulls up any police records attached to whoever’s name you enter, so someone decided to search Mrs. Stubel as a joke. We ended up finding out she had like six DUI’s.

Aaaaand that’s the story of the horrendous teacher I had for two months in 7th grade. One of my favorite party stories but tbh she still haunts me™ .