she is a 60 year old woman

10

This is Chaka Khan appreciation. Without Chaka, we might never have heard of the (still-underrated) Rufus. We would’ve never had Kanye’s “Through The Wire.” We would’ve just missed so much. Whether you call here Yvette Marie Stevens (her birth name) or Chaka Adunne Aduffe Hodarhi Karifi (adding the Khan after marriage), the name she received when she became a member of the Black Panther Party and friends with Fred Hampton, you’d have to acknowledge that lovers of music owe her so much. 11 solo albums. Another 11 with Rufus. A career that spans more than 42 years. 10 Grammy Awards. 22 Grammy Nominations. When you look at this pictures, know that you’re looking at greatness. I mean, even after all that, she’s so bad that a 60-plus-year-old Chaka Khan looks like a lot like a 31 year old Nicki Minaj. (You’ve been told: it don’t crack.)  Her beauty, her hair, the face, the energy, the presence–these things would define a mere mortal. But Chaka is no mere mortal: she is every woman, and her musical and artistic accomplishments are so great that even her beauty cannot distract you from her talent for long. She’s been quoted as saying, “I’ve always struggled so much just to appreciate myself.” That one quote explains so much. But Chaka–Yvette– and this is no substitute, but you should know: we appreciate you, for who you are and what you’ve done. Let me tell you something good: you are one of the best ever to do it. Chicago stand up. Everybody stand up.

anonymous asked:

Fic idea; The Stan twins go to visit their mother for the first time in 40 years to show her they're not dead. Though happy, she is not pleased with being lied to. Ma Pines proceeds to scold and punish the two 60 year old men like they're 6.

“Of all the unbelievable things you two have done. This one has to top the cake!” 

The idea of visiting their mother had come about when they got into the Atlantic Ocean. When they both had stepped into the room it looked like she had seen a ghost. She almost started crying while hugging the two of them. 

The moment of joy was gone now. Now their actions were coming back to bite them. 

“Ma…” Ford tried to reason but the woman raised her hand to stop them. 

“Don’t you Ma me, Stanford Filbrick Pines. I thought your brother was dead.”

Stanley gave a small laugh but was shut up by the glare the older woman gave him. 

“And now I find out that he has been around for the past forty years,” She continued, “hasn’t called for the thirty that he has been pretending to be you.” 

“Sorry,” Stanley muttered. 

“You better be sorry, young man.”

“Ma,” Stanford mumbled, “We are almost sixty.”

“And I am near my end date,” their mother shot back, “And don’t get me started on you. You just up and disappear for thirty years and the ten years prior you didn’t even call me once. Or visit for Sherman’s coming home party. Not once, Stanford.” 

The two men went silent and hung their heads. 

“What do you have to say for yourselves?” 

They shifted nervously. Under their mother’s glare they felt like young children again that were caught trying to smuggle in a stray mutt they had found on the shore. 

“We’re sorry,” Stanley mumbled.

“Really sorry,” Ford sighed, “I should have called long before what happened thirty years ago and Stan should have told you the truth.” 

Their mother narrowed their eyes at them after the words were spoken. Her glare seemed to raise the pressure in the room and made them shift nervously. 

The pressure was broken when they both were pulled into a tight hug in skinny, frail arms. 

“I missed you both so much.” 

Day 24

I’m sure I’ve well established by now that I’m petty. Really petty.

As long as the customer is nice or even neutral in their interaction with me, things are great. I do my job with the required amount of pleasantness and they move on with their lives. But I have trouble smiling and playing nice when somebody is overtly being rude to me, which naturally means that accepting a job in retail probably wasn’t the best move on my part. Especially since one out of every eight or so customers ends up being an unnecessarily rage-filled jackass.

So in walks a woman who’s about 60 or so years old with two cloth bags. That’s fine—protect the environment, sure. The problem is, she has way more items than can feasibly fit into those two bags. Another downside: my store usually offers paper bags as well as plastic ones, but due to an ordering error none of the clerks currently have any paper bags (this issue also wasn’t resolved for a good week, so you can guess just how many yoga pants-wearing soccer moms were enraged that they’d have to carry their organic kombucha in plastic bags out to their BMWs. What utter barbarism.) So naturally, once this woman’s cloth bags are all full, I start to put the rest of her groceries into a plastic bag. This didn’t fly so well with her.

Her: “No plastic!”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we’re currently out of paper bags, so this is the only option.”

I continue to bag her groceries.

Her: “Hey! No plastic! ARE YOU DEAF??!”

Me: “We don’t have any other bags. I’m sorry.”

Her: “GET ME A PAPER ONE.”

Me: “We…. There are none. Ma’am. None.”

Her: (sarcastically) “You’re telling me there aren’t any paper bags in this entire store?”

Me: “Yes.”

Her: “I don’t believe you.”

Me: (shrugging) “It’s plastic or nothing.”

Her: “Fine. Then I choose nothing.”

Now during this exchange, mind you, I kept on scanning her items, one of which was a package of fresh dinner rolls from our bakery area. And as I watched her stomp off with her arms overflowing with precariously balanced unbagged items, I took a moment to think about just how gratifyingly soft those fresh rolls had been as I shoved a finger through the center of each and every one of them during our delightful little chat.


(I bet you can guess which finger I used.)

Susan Number One

i go to private school but this is too good. okay so at lunch because our grade is awful, we have assigned sating at these round, 9 seater lunch tables with a teacher at most of them. i had Susan number one (there are 3 in the middle school alone!!) at my table two times. the second time i had learned to tune her out. she tends to make things uncomfortable. anyway, one day i decided “huh. maybe i’ll tune back in and join this conversation” the moment i do i hear from this horrendous, 60 year old woman, “Sex and Nudity”  i immediately tune back out, concerned and afraid. why they were talking about these things with a Teacher i will never know

When she was in high school, Lizzie Velasquez was dubbed “The World’s Ugliest Woman” in an 8-second-long YouTube video. Born with a medical condition so rare that just two other people in the world are thought to have it, Velasquez has no adipose tissue and cannot create muscle, store energy, or gain weight. She has zero percent body fat and weighs just 60 pounds.In the comments on YouTube, viewers called her “it” and “monster” and encouraged her to kill herself. Instead, Velasquez set four goals: To become a motivational speaker, to publish a book, to graduate college, and to build a family and a career for herself. Now 23 years old, she’s been a motivational speaker for seven years and has given more than 200 workshops on embracing uniqueness, dealing with bullies, and overcoming obstacles. She’s a senior majoring in Communications at Texas State University in San Marcos, where she lives with her best friend. Her first book, “Lizzie Beautiful,” came out in 2010 and her second, “Be Beautiful, Be You,” was published in 2012. source

i always used to say yes when people asked if i wanted to get married. i wanted to spend my life with someone, have all the little moments and memories and laughs and ups and downs. but recently i watched a show where a beautiful old couple had been married for over 60 years, when the woman had an abrupt fall and ended up with a brain bleed. she died shortly after surgery. her husband was with her until the end, but as he was leaving the hospital a doctor asked him if he needed someone to call him a taxi and what he said broke my heart; “i need to learn how to survive on my own now.” my answer to the question “do you want to get married” has now been forever changed.
—  i never want to put someone through that

anonymous asked:

Hey if you want to could you please post some spoilers for the dark prophecy under a read more? If you don't want to that's totally cool I'm just kind of dying to know more haha

Heads up! This is basically like the barebones of the plot right here so don’t read it if you don’t want to know!

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Racist woman on bus gets more than she bargains for.

A couple months ago, I was on a 7 hour bus ride when I was seated by a woman from hell. When I boarded the bus, I was told that it wasn’t fully booked so I assumed it would be alright if I left my backpack and personal items on the seat beside me so no one would sit with me. I normally wouldn’t do this, but I am someone who gets extremely motion sick (no amount of meds or other remedies seems to help) and since this bus ride was going through the mountains I thought I’d save someone the trouble of sitting next to a puking, feverish girl.

Anyways, I rode like this for about an hour and half the bus was empty so I thought it didn’t matter. Then, out of nowhere, a woman across from me starts looking back and me, sending me death glares over and over. At this point, we are slowly moving into the foothills of the mountains so I ignore her, trying to focus on relaxing and not letting the nausea overwhelm me.

After about 20 minutes she comes over and says “Excuse me I’m going to sit here”, pointing at the seat next to me. I give her a look of frustration but being the non-confrontational person I am, I moved my stuff off the seat and allowed her to sit there despite 30 empty seats around us. Intentionally, I scatter my stuff on the floor just enough so her feet don’t have quite as much room as they should, hoping this would persuade her to leave.

Nope. She begins kicking my things, hard. I ask her, very politely, not to kick my things. She looks at me with moral outrage. “Little girl, you don’t own this fucking bus. Give me my fucking space, I am 60 years old. You little Indian bitches seem to think you own this fucking country.” So, the realization sets in that this woman is a racist bitch who intentionally sat with me to bitch me out.

I am really a Canadian citizen, born and raised here, however I am brown because my mother is a Filipina. Anyways, I tell her there is no need to be so hostile and as she begins to snort rude remarks back to me, I put on my headphones and blast the loudest Radiohead songs I can find, just to bug her. At this point, the anger boiling up inside of me and the nausea are beginning to get to me so I decide it is best to ignore her.

But she won’t let that happen. She begins elbowing me, hard. Then, kicking my leg. I finally give in and take of my headphones. She demands that I turn down my music. I demand that she leaves me alone. Suddenly, from the corner of my eye I see her opening her water bottle and pouring it all over my backpack and personal belongings. I push it out of her hands at which point she begins SCREAMING obscenities at me, telling me I am abusing a poor elderly woman with back problems, that I’m taking up too much space, that I am part of the “Indian problem” that is destroying our respectable nation.

At this point, the anxiety and the mountainous bus ride is just too much to bear. As she screams at me, I realize I need to throw up and although I could interrupt her to quickly run to the bathroom, I instead decide it was okay if I just let it go in her lap. I am terribly sick so I end up vomiting almost an entire sandwich onto her. She stops for a moment out of shock, and then begins to hit me as hard as she fucking can. I am a tiny little half Asian girl who weighs less than 95 lbs, and she’s huge. People around who have been hearing her bullshit finally, at this point, call for the bus driver who pulls the bus over in the town we are passing through.

The woman demands I be removed from the bus for elderly abuse. The other passengers back me up and defend me after witnessing the insanity. The police are called and the woman is escorted off the bus, literally kicking and screaming about how Indians should be banned from public transit. Last I see of her, she is being held by police on the side of the road, covered in vomit.. As much as I believe you shouldn’t vomit on people on purpose, I must admit that my motion sickness has never felt so good before.. Also, I ended up getting a coupon for a free ticket with the bus company as an apology for what happened, which was only an added bonus.

TL;DR: Racist woman sits beside me in almost empty bus. Terrorizes me for so long that I vomit in her lap. Forcibly removed from the bus by police for being a racist b*tch. HA.

Petty Revenge: Internet`s best petty revenge stories are here. | credit

Day Forty-Six

-I began this job hesitant to accept even a sample from Starbucks due to my distaste for coffee. This morning I entered the break room, went directly to the new Keurig, and made myself a cup of coffee to prepare myself for my shift. I am not proud of who I have become.

-I witnessed a man with a long, tightly-woven braid, Birkenstock sandals, pristine white sweatpants, and a clip-on phone holster hanging from his pocket. He is a man with a story and I hope to learn it.

-A man clad in overalls and a graphic tee came through my lane at eleven in the morning, clutching onto a bottle of wine he had brought with him, striking fear into the hearts of myself and all others who experience farmer phobias.

-An old woman became very concerned when I asked her for her age when purchasing an M-rated video game. It was only a formality for the computer, but she began asking if this was standard practice if she tried to purchase it at any other store. I am not going to say that she was, in fact, two adolescent boys in a trench coat and wig, but, if she was, I have to respect their honesty in hesitating to use a fake age after going this far.

-A mother caught her four year-old daughter attempting to shoplift a Trolls mystery pack under her shirt. The mother was mortified. The daughter, only slightly put off. I could tell she was already planning her next heist, quickly building her way up to the Louvre. 

-I rang up an elderly woman for $60 of Minions trading cards. I am not mad at her, but I am certainly disappointed.

-I noticed a woman storming into the store. I turned to her. She demanded to know where the barista was at the Starbucks which she had not had time to look at, let alone approach. Seeing the barista coming, I informed her that someone would be there momentarily. She then hurried out of the door, leading me to believe her question was one borne not from desire of coffee, but from fear of baristas.

-I taught another youth the humor and joy of sticking one’s tongue out to others. This time, however, the parents were thrilled to no end. All of my work has been validated and I shall continue my mission to provide this skill set to all by the age of five.

-I found myself faced with an impossible moral conundrum: do I place a purchased bag inside of a bag? Upon consultation, I found the guest to be as stumped as I. I do not believe there is a right answer to this, and yet, I feel that I was definitively wrong.

-I assisted a guest whose voice was befitting only of a gentlemanly cartoon bullfrog with a top hat and monocle. Coming out of a small elderly man, it was slightly off-putting.

-I found myself given the unfortunate fortune of seeing that a guest was sexting. I have little to say on this, other than he seemed to be taking the time to compose lengthy replies, so either he was being an overachiever or the recipient had to sift through a lot of fluff to find what they wanted.

-A woman, angry with the card reader for taking a moment longer than she had wanted, growled through gritted teeth of her hatred for the machine over and over until it finally allowed her to remove her card. I made sure to hand her the receipt as swiftly and eye contactlessly as possible, as I was certain the demon within her body was equally infuriated with me.

-A new cryptid has been discovered in my store. It appears as an elderly man with looks highly suggestive of a Trump supporter. It can be found lumbering among the checkout lanes, raising a bag of popcorn to its face in order to snatch a single piece out with its speckled tongue.

i do not know if i ever told anyone this but one time in the seventh grade i was in math class and we were doing some shit about circles ans i had gotten all of the answers right so i flipped the paper over and started doodling gundam tanaka. and the chatter slowly just kind of stops and i look up and see this 60 year old woman giving me the death stare and shes like “what are you doing” and i go “drawing” and she asks “is that more important than math” and of course it is but i don’t want to piss her off so i just say “n-no” and class resumes

the story frightens me because that is the only proof i can remember of me liking this franchise from like. 2014

oh and also we once tricked her into thinking the duck song was relevant on pi day. she also once showed us a 15 minute video of some lady doing extreme couponing in walgreens

I'm not answering those anons because

The point is a man wanting to date a woman in her twenties is the same as a woman dating a man for financial gain. They both are looking to get something out of the relationship. And some 60+ year old isn’t going to pass up a beautiful women just because she isn’t under 21, don’t kid yourself. Y'all men aren’t special. Stop it. Saying you’ll just dump a girl after she graduates college, or after she hits a certain age…. okay that’s fine, but in that time I guarantee she’ll have gotten exactly what she wanted out of your ass. Women aren’t going to praise you, or fall at your feet lmao. No young 21 year old is going to date a man her father or grandfathers age without motive. And yeah, It may be love…. but women have been seeking men with status & money since the beginning of time. Get out of the fantasy land you’re living in.

Originally posted by brandisego

dailymail.co.uk
Transgender woman who groped girl, 15, spared jail

Judge allows a transgender woman, 57, who groped a 15-year-old girl’s breasts in a motorway traffic jam to start a new life 100 miles away            

  • Dawn Love from Lightwater, Surrey, tried to put her hand down her victim’s shorts while driving down the M3 in March this year
  • She then offered the teenager money to accompany her to see Mrs Brown’s Boys
  • Judge says crime justified imprisonment but only gave Love a community order
  • Love has a previous conviction for having horse pornography on her phone
  • ‘Bullied and depressed’ Love is thinking about moving to Dorset 'to start again’

A transgender woman who groped the breasts of a 15-year-old girl in a motorway traffic jam before later offering to take to her to see a performance of Mrs Brown’s Boys was today allowed to start a new life 100 miles away.

Dawn Love, 57, arrived at the victim’s home and offered to take her out for the day before trying to put her hands down the child’s shorts and top on the M3.

The victim got into the car because she thought another family member was coming with her, but was only followed out of the house by Love, Guildford Crown Court was told.

A judge told Love that her crime justified a prison sentence, but only handed her a two-year community order and told her that moving to Dorset might be in her 'best interests’.

Prosecutor Richard Elliot described the assault from . He said: 'She found herself in a position of being driven by Ms Love against her will.’

Mr Elliot said Love from Lightwater, Surrey, sexually assaulted her victim while driving on the motorway.

He said: 'She was trying to place her hands down the complainant’s shorts, close to the top of her knickers, but got no further. She then put her hands close to the complainant’s breasts and then started to touch the top of them.’

Love sent a text message to the girl a few days later which read: 'Do you like Mrs Brown’s Boys? Do you want to come with me to watch it? I will pay you.’

After the three-day trial, a jury took five hours and 51 minutes to unanimously find Love guilty of one count of sexual assault.

At an earlier hearing the court heard that Love was assigned male at birth but underwent a gender reassignment operation in 2003.

Sentencing Judge Jonathan Black today said: 'You placed your hands on her breasts and then attempted to get your hand underneath her shorts.

'I do make the point that the car was stationary, you were in a traffic jam, and you would have been surrounded on all sides by others cars.’

Love, who used a zimmer frame to walk into court, was acquitted of two further counts of sexual assault on the same victim.

The court heard that Love, who was handed a suspended sentence for having horse pornography on her phone in March 2015, had an appointment to view sheltered accommodation on the south coast and was planning to leave her Surrey home.

Judge Black added: 'I understand that you are seeking to leave the area and move to Dorset and that seems to me to be something in your best interests.’

Defending James Bloomer told the court that Love, who suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) was reported to pose a high risk of suicide.

He said: 'We are dealing with a 57-year-old disabled woman with no history of this type of offending and who now has a chance to move away from the bullying and depression she is now facing and move to Dorset to start again.’

A five-year restraining order was also put in place, prohibiting her from contacting the victim, and she was ordered to pay £1,500 in costs plus a £60 victim surcharge.

As part of her community order Love from Lightwater, Surrey, was ordered to undergo two years of supervision with the probation service.

self care is sneaking out in the middle of the night even though you have your own apartment and driving to the coast. any coast, so long as you cant see the other shore. one of the oceans, one of the great lakes, whatever. you watch the waves for a while before you find yourself in a denny’s eating pancakes at 4am. you leave and find yourself a run down motel with windows overlooking the highway. you’ve come this far, you think, why not see how much farther you can go. you clear out your bank account through the atm across the street over the course of a few days, you assume a new name, a pen name you always dreamed of using if you were an author. your eye for detail and steady hands help you make a fake ID. you cut and dye your hair. you don a pair of glasses the old you wasn’t brave enough to wear. you dress in goodwill flannels and torn jeans, an old green parka from when you were a teenager is the only thing you keep. you travel the country, stay in motels wherever you go, you collect their matchbooks. you find yourself in the arizona desert when your car breaks down. you wander the road, but no one passes by. you see a person on the horizon and you wonder if it’s a mirage. the person is a teenage boy dressed in 80′s clothes. he doesn’t look real, you wonder if it’s a fabled sand spirit. he directs you to the way of the nearest town. you never see the boy again. you find yourself a nice motel in arizona, and help out the owner, an elderly mexican woman, in return for free occupancy. when she grows old and weak, she hands over the motel to you. you remain the owner until your own death 60 years later. you meet the sand spirit again and you haunt the desert together, helping lost motorists who dare wander into this most inhospitable place 

SheZow Analysis; The Long-Term Effects of the Ring

It’s no she-cret that SheZow’s powers come from her beauty and femininity; when not wearing pink the powers weaken or all but disappear, when having a hangnail or ingrown toenail wonky things start happening, and then the whole bad hair being her biggest–and, really, her only–weakness. So, it’s safe to say that as SheZow got older and less attractive (or, say, a boy SheZow getting older and less feminine) would weaken or all together stop the powers of the ring. Right?

I’m not so sure.

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Please like or reblog if you are interested in interacting with President Olivia Marsdin from CW’s Supergirl!  She is a self declared grandma to all who will protect her people at all costs. Don’t let her appearance as a sixty (60) year old woman fool you, she is a shapeshifting alien who is ready to kill you with love! She loves her job and her people more than you could imagine. Keep a look out for her joke of the week and the private snapchats that are post weekly!