she is 40

  • Tony: The first time my dad caught me looking at one of those magazines, he got really upset.
  • Thor: Why?
  • Tony: Well, I guess parents don’t like knowing their kids look at that kind of stuff. That’s why they tell them they’ll go to hell or go blind. But my dad...He didn’t believe in that stuff, so my dad said “Tony, when you, you know, it uh, expends energy, both in the climax and in the daily reproduction of sperm, so if you do it a lot, it adds up, and it shortens your life span, and that’s why, on average, males have shorter life spans, because they...you know.”
  • Thor: So you were scared of death?
  • Tony: Yeah. I, I was pretty upset. And then my mom saw that I was crying, so she said this ridiculous thing. She said that she was 40, and I was 11 and if I masturbated enough, I could catch up to her, and that way we could die on the exact same day and never be apart. I think she was trying to be funny, she had a weird sense of humour. And even if she was right, I wouldn’t have been able to jack off fast enough to catch up. She died shortly after.
  • Thor: And so now, when you masturbate you think about your mother.
  • Tony: Ah, Thor, no. That’s weird.
  • Thor: Weird?
  • Tony: Weird is like when you do stuff that nobody else does, so they make fun of you for it. So when I say that I can’t masturbate because it makes me think about my mom, people laugh at you.
  • Thor: But that’s fun. Making people laugh is great.
  • Tony: It’s not, because they call you names like Tuggy Tony and you have to change schools, and it’s, it’s not fun.
  • Thor: Tony, when I masturbate I’m going to think about your mother.
  • Tony: Thor, stop!
  • Thor: But if I think about your mom when I masturbate then you won’t be weird anymore, right?
  • Tony: No, just quit talking!
  • Thor: I’m just trying to help.
  • Tony: Well you’re not!

shoot-the-smiles  asked:

What was the age difference between Ser Bonnifer and then-Princess Rhaella? If she was a teenager when she had Rhaegar that would've made her in her 30s when she died and in her 40s or 50s now if she'd lived, right? He didn't seem that old in Jaime's chapters, maybe his 60s, or am I remembering wrong?

Regarding this post by @rhaellas, we don’t know precisely, but we can guesstimate based on available information. Some quotes:

“she was once smitten with a young knight from the stormlands who wore her favor at a tourney and named her queen of love and beauty. A brief thing. […] He put away his lance the day your lady mother wed your father. Afterward he became most pious, and was heard to say that only the Maiden could replace Queen Rhaella in his heart. His passion was impossible, of course. A landed knight is no fit consort for a princess of royal blood.” –Daenerys VII, ADWD


“Rhaella grew up in the court of her grandfather Aegon V. She became infatuated, for a time, with a handsome tourney knight from the stormlands, but it was a passing fancy that came to an end when her father, Jaehaerys, heard a prophecy from a woods witch, brought to court by Jenny of Oldstones, that the prince who was promised would come from his children.” –”Rhaella Targaryen” entry, AWOIAF Official iPad app

Rhaella was born in either 245 or 246, and she and Aerys wed around 258, when Rhaella was about 12 or 13. The official app tells us her infatuation with Bonifer ended before the wedding, at the time Jaehaerys announced the betrothal. We don’t know when this announcement was made, but it had to be sufficiently in advance of the wedding that (at the very least, imo) invitations could be sent out and various nobles could make the journey to the capital. 

So this infatuation happened when Rhaella was about 11 or 12, possibly younger depending on when the woods witch gave her prophecy. This was just my impression, but to me, it seemed like the woods witch gave her prophecy before Rhaella had even begun to menstruate, and she was betrothed (like Sansa) at 11, and not long after her first flowering, she and Aerys were wed (again in a situation very like Sansa’s).

Let’s say Rhaella was 11 during this infatuation, in about 251. Were Rhaella alive today in 300AC, she would be about 55 years old. 

Bonifer was “a young knight” so he was maybe 16 - 20. Let’s be generous and and say Bonifer was 17 in 251, given his great renown as “a jouster of some note”. (That means he would have had to establish a reputation with the tourney lance, so we need multiple tourneys, which takes time.) If he was 17 in 251, that means he would have been born in 234, which is about two or three years older than Barristan Selmy. (Note that Selmy was also crushing on a young maiden at a tourney in a similar situation. Significant age gaps between gallant knights and fair maidens are common in GRRM’s writing.) 

In 300AC, Bonifer is presumably in his late 60s, possibly early 70s. Does this jive with the descriptions we get in the text? Bonifer is described as “old” but it’s implied that he’s younger than the “ancient” Lord Estermont (King Robert’s grandfather), who must be in his 80s at least, possibly older. Jaime thinks of Bonifer as “old” and “withered”. (For comparison, Jaime’s father Tywin is around 58 when he dies, and Jaime never associates the word “old” with Tywin.) 

So anyways, I think it’s weird if you have a guy who is the equivalent of a senior in high school crushing on a little girl about the age of a 5th grader. If this infatuation had occurred when they were older, it wouldn’t be a significant age gap, but the way GRRM wrote it, it’s creepy. I get that GRRM was trying to make parallels with Dany and Sansa, but I think GRRM made a mistake when he made Rhaella younger than Aerys.

I dont know what to say-

I honestly dont know what to say- today- at my school- in PE we were running a pacer test- one girl- she was at the count 40- she was tired- but she ran anyways to get her grade up- ((yes running the pacer is a grade))….at first she was tired- but then- she collapsed- to the floor- shaking- she had a seizure- she kept shaking and shaking crying in pain- I- I’m scared- I’m scared very scared- I just hope for the best for her- im sorry if- I’m bothering you- or its none of your business- but- Im just- scared- I don’t have any motivation right now-
Reblog if you care and hope for the best-
Like if you care but just don’t want this to ruin your blog-
Ignore if you don’t care-
I’m not going to judge you- there is others than can do that for me-

she was fire and rain. she sounded like confidence and smelled like virtue. she flirted with the truth and persecuted lies. she danced awkwardly and laughed too loudly, and was loved for it. she was the kind of girl that screamed what she wanted and whispered what she needed. she listened to top 40 and indie and classic rock, anything with lyrics that filled her with warmth like butterflies. she wore black leather jackets and dark red lipstick to show people the walls around her heart instead of telling them about it. she tore through books faster than lightning because words are the only way she’s learned to deal with anything. she swallowed her pain like pills and handed out pieces of her love like fliers. she loved sunsets and their pink and orange clouds, and how nature always gave us a beautiful ending to every day. she was wildflowers and bubbling springs when she loved, but teeth and flashing red moons when on her bad side. she liked to think that people were everything good and everything bad, and that she herself was some beautifully cruel mystery.

Don’t get it twisted. Taylor Swift keeps the people she surrounds herself with young and in their teens and early 20′s to confuse y’all but Taylor Swift is closer to 30 than 20. She’s the same age as Adele (1989), Hayden Panettiere (1989), Dakota Johnson (1989) and just one year older than Emma Watson (1990) and that’s hella weird because she doesn’t have their maturity level. You guys are seeing her with Lorde (1996), Serayah (1995), Selena Gomez (1992), Karlie Kloss (1992) etc. She’s grown who acts and wants to be treated like she’s a teenager. And the worst part is, I don’t see her changing. She’s going to 40 acting the same way.

2

“Everything about this woman was both hard yet soft, delicate yet bold, wild yet calm. She was a storm that called to Cassian; it beckoned him into its grasp. A storm that he didn’t want to avoid anymore. He wanted to give in to the urges that pulled him to Nesta and he wanted her to do the same. So he let go of all pretense, closed his eyes, and leaned in to finally, finally, kiss the catastrophically beautiful woman below him.”

/enlarge images for HD/
TalesFromTheFrontDesk: Cold Pizza

So my night auditor is consistently late. I’ve tried going to my boss about it (they just told her “that M_LeoQueen said to stop coming late because she needs to get home”, so then she stopped talking to me for a few days and had a major attitude), and nothing has changed. Then I tried to give her a piece of her own medicine by coming in 10-15 minutes late (only 4 time in 10 months have I’m come in later and I always called to let them know, and those were genuine accidents) and she just stays 15-40 minutes later!

I’m so fed up. She’ll suppose to start at 11pm, and will call at 10:40 and say she’s running late. Mind you, she lives about 10-15 minutes away. So she’ll still have time to get here, but show up at 11:15-11:40.

Well today is day 6/10, with 4 of the shifts past 10 hours days. She was supposed to be here at 7. At 7:20 she calls the hotel saying “Ohmigosh, I’m soooooo sorry, I just woke up. I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

8pm is here and she has still not arrived. Because of the storm hitting us tomorrow, I’m staying overnight, so I’m not really worried about getting home, but damn, I’m working a 11 hour shift now, and I have to be back on the clock in 14 hours to work another 9 hour shift. Plus, I ordered food tonight, and my pizza is now cold. I’m one of the people who hate cold pizza. It’s like mediocre sex. At first you’re like, “Oh, well at least I’m getting some”, then as you continue you’re just like, “I regret this deeply.” You aren’t satisfied, and you really just wanted hot pizza, and you vow next time to make the pizza is piping hot.

So yeah, cold pizza, an overworked queen, and the fact that she’ll come in to complain about everyone else, the weather, the traffic, and everything else, and won’t just clock in and start working. I don’t know what else to do at this point other than as soon as she walks in, to clock out, and not say/do anything that will get me fired for work place violence (I’m tired and hungry and those are dangerous combinations for a queen).

By: M_LeoQueen

3

amelia! any ideas on what her breeds might be? shes a mutt whos 40 lbs and 21 inches at the shoulders at 7 months. shes very lazy but loves to catch toys outve the air and run in a circle for 30 seconds before taking a 3 hour nap

Yuuri’s mother gets very excited about birthdays, especially when she discovered Victor’s and decided it gave her an excuse to get excited over Christmas too. The first time it came around, she sent close to 40 presents, ranging from big to small, and still does every year. They can be anything from random trinkets she’s spotted, to hand made matching sweaters, to expensive and unnecessary house appliances. The worst gifts, in Yuuri’s opinions, are the Yuuri-merch she sends Victor that she somehow finds… Victor loves it, naturally.

8

The dresses Tessa has worn for Rhumba throughout the years, all wildly different from each other and yet reflecting a Latin ballroom flavour.  What do we think she will do next season?

1. 2005/2006 OD.  There could be some rhumba in there.  The OD was Latin rhythms including the rhumba as an option.  Very… everything costume.

2. 2007 Worlds, CD.  Clearly before the 50% rule of the last few seasons, LOL.

3. 2011 4CC, FD.  Their FD, while not including the compulsory, did include a rhumba section.  Followed the pink/orange choice of 2007 and looked better in motion than in pictures.  

4. 2011 Worlds, FD.  My favourite, this dress had a lot more detail than could be seen in motion.  Tessa discovered a sleek high ponytail worked very well for the genre.

5. 2011 TEB, SD.  She also wore this dress to two other competitions that season.

6. 2012 Nationals (she wore the dress also at the GPF).  Both skates were relatively disastrous for them.  This was the only time Scott did not wear solid black. Originally these costumes had been worn during the previous off-ice season for shows.

7.  2012 4CC or Worlds.  A bold departure from her other looks in both cut and in material, that seemed particularly polarizing for fans.

8. Bonus 2011/2012 practice dress, which was an altered version of her 2011 Worlds dress.  Clearly not following the 50% rule, LOL.

The wives of the Prophet (ﷺ)

Who were his (ﷺ) wives, and why did he (ﷺ) marry them?

The wives of the Prophet (ﷺ) are all considered Ummuhaat Al-Mumineen (Mothers of the Believers). They are:

  • Khadeejah Bint Khuwalid: He married her when he was 25 years old and she was 40 years old. She bore all his children except one son. He did not marry any other woman whilst being married to her.
  • Sawda Bint Zam’a: She was a widow and a mother of six children. Her friend called Khawlah Bint Hakeem approached the Prophet (peace be upon him) encouraging him to marry Sawda. He married her when he was 50 years old
  • ‘Aaisha Bint Abi Bakr as-Siddeeq: She was the only virgin he married, and was the daughter of his best friend. She grew up to be a great scholar, teacher and authority of knowledge in Islaam.
  • Hafsah Bint Umar: She was a widow whose husband was martyred in the battle of Uhud. After the death of her husband, her father Umar ibn al-Khattaab searched for an appropriate man to marry her. They were overjoyed when the Prophet (peace be upon him) accepted the proposal.
  • Zaynab al-Hilaaliyyah: She was a widow whose husband died in the battle of Badr. The Prophet (peace be upon him) married her when he 56 years old. He married her out of concern for her welfare and to take care of her after the death of her husband.
  • Umm Salamah: She was one of the earliest people to accept Islaam along with her husband. They both migrated to Abyssinia then Madeenah. In Madeenah her husband died, leaving her behind with children. The Prophet (peace be upon him) married her in her old age and he was even older.
  • Zaynab Bint Jahsh: She was the cousin of the Prophet (peace be upon him). She had two previous husbands, one who had died before Islaam and the other was the adopted son of the Prophet, a freed slave. It was the custom of the Arabs that an adopted son would be considered to be ones real blood son. However Islam abolished this concept and maintained the rights of the real blood parents of a child, even after adoption to somebody else.
  • Juwairiyyah Bint al-Haarith: She was a noble woman who was captured and enslaved in war. She came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) complaining of her situation and asking the Prophet to help her to free herself by paying her ransom. The Prophet (peace be upon him) paid her ransom and then married her.
  • Safiyyah Bint Huyayy: A woman of Jewish descent, she was a taken as a war captive. The Prophet (peace be upon him) freed her and called her to Islaam. Upon accepting Islaam, the Prophet (peace be upon him) married her.
  • Umm Habeeba Ramlah: She migrated to Abyssinia along with her husband who had accepted Islaam. However her husband then went back to disbelief and died whilst drinking alcohol. He left her behind alone, with a young child, in a foreign country. The Prophet (peace be upon him) heard of her plight and requested from the Abyssinian king to send her to Madeenah in order for her to be married to the Prophet.
  • Maariah al-Qubtiyah: She was a Coptic Christian who was sent as a gift from the King of Egypt at that time. Upon her accepting Islaam, the Prophet (peace be upon him) married her and freed her from being a captive
  • Zaynab Bint Khuzaymah: She was known as Umm al-Masaakeen (the Mother of the Poor) due to her care and concern for the poor and needy. She was a widow, who had been married to two men. They either died or divorced her before the Prophet (peace be upon her) chose to marry her.
  • Maymoonah Bint al-Haarith: She was the last wife of the Prophet (peace be upon him). She had been widowed previous to her marriage to the Prophet.