she has swag

Food network quotes

(From chopped, cutthroat kitchen and cooks vs cons, because they’re hysterical and I have no life at the moment.)

“I saw the red onions, and I became angry.”

“That was an uninvited layer of baklava.”

“He should slow his roll, because that was not a remoulade, okay.”

“That potato purée was an absolute failure.”

“Cashews are the Cadillac of nuts.”

“Oh GIRL why’d you DO ME THIS DIRTY WITH THAT TOASTER.”

“I’m gonna make some fancy-ass toast!!”

“In my hand…is a CRAP TON of pancake batter.”

“The mystery ingredient is a hot corn cob, who cares, I’m not afraid, HOT COB WAS MY NICKNAME IN HIGH SCHOOL!”
(^what the heck…?)

“The more you play with pablano peppers, the less magical they become.”

“Here we have the infamous palenta log…”

“I am 69% caveman.”

“I was BAFFLED BY THE RICOTTA.”

“I’m a savage, I can’t help who I am.”

“I eat so much bacon that I’ll probably have a heart attack in two years.”

“YEAH OKAY I’M GONNA NEED A CRISPY, MEATY ELEMENT.”

“This was a train wreck. But it was a good train wreck.”

“I am not going to be defeated by a pork chop.”

“I harness fire to make food sexy.”

“IM A BADASS BEEF GIRL.”

“I think everyone should be intimidated by me. BECAUSE I KNOW MY STUFF.”

“She must be a professional because she has so much swag.”

“I hate EVERYTHING ABOUT COTTAGE CHEESE.”

“What can be sexier than lobster? I mean…aside from me?”

“YOU PULVERIZED MY WEINERS.”

“I’M GONNA BRING THE SEXY BACK TO FOOD.”

“Yeah so, I’ve spent a long time with these DAMN TORTILLAS.”

“At this point in time, I’m feeling really confident about my pickles.”

“I need to create a mess of deliciousness.”

“HOW CAN I LOSE TO A SALAD.”

“That lobster was so profound.”

“I have never cooked with a testacle before.”

“I’m going to win. IVE BEEN COOKING LONGER THAN MY OPPONENT HAS BEEN ALIVE.”

“It’s a crapshoot in here. If I win, great, if I lose, I will not be surprised.”

“I DON’T LIKE BITING INTO A LARGE CHUNK OF COLD FAT…THATS NOT CORRECT.”

“We need to amp up these potatoes. Right now.”

BTS Reaction to You Being A Popular Idol And Confessing During An Interview

Requested


Jin:

“Jin-Hyung, did you hear about what (y/n) said about you?” Namjoon asked Jin. Jin stopped cooking for a moment and looked at the leader.

“No…what did she say?”

“She said that you are her crush. Ahhh, lucky!” Namjoon shouted. Jin did not believe him since you were an extremely popular crush among the male idols. Many tried to date you but you always declined, saying that you were too busy with work.

When Jin was showed the video he was blushing madly. After the interview was over he acted all arrogant, “Of course she would like me, I’m so good looking!”

Originally posted by bts0726


Yoongi:

“I knew she liked me, I’m irresistible,” Yoongi said to Jimin as Jimin informed him that you announced your crush was Yoongi.

“She has much swag and so do I. We will be the K-pop power couple.” Yoongi kept his cool on the outside but on the inside he was freaking out. You were so talented and very pretty. Many actors and idols tried to grab your attention, but little did they know Yoongi held yours.

“Hyung, how will you fight off all of the other men?” Jungkook asked with a laugh.  

“Swag.”

Outside: 

Originally posted by mn-yg

Inside: 

Originally posted by sugagifs


Hoseok:

Taehyung ran to inform Hoseok about your confession. Hoseok was dancing in the practice rooms, with music blaring.

“Hyung! (y/n) likes you. I told you!” Taehyung shouted. Hoseok smiled but continued practicing. Now he had to have all the moves down to impress you at the upcoming award show.

Hoseok was all giggly after practice and couldn’t help but be in a better mood.

Originally posted by jaayhope


Namjoon:

Namjoon was watching your latest interview and when it came to the point where someone asked who your crush he was prepared to find out. He was extremely surprised to find out that it was him of all people.

He quickly took to twitter simply saying “it’s been a good day.”

He lowkey bragged to the boys after he found out.

Originally posted by jimiyoong


Jimin:

Jimin didn’t believe anyone until you talked to him or he finally saw the interview. He postponed watching it since he wanted to be ready if you did say it.

“Tae, did I hear her correctly?” He asked as Taehyung sat next to him. Taehyung nodded and started to make funny faces at Jimin. (Tae is like a five-year-old, we all know this)

Cute and shy Jimin activated.  

Originally posted by princejimin


Taehyung:

Tae-Hyung! I can’t believe she likes you.” Jungkook said as he heard the news on your love life. Taehyung already knew that you liked him since he’s a sneaky little shit and got your number. He had known for awhile.

“Me either! It’s a miracle.” Tae played along with Jungkook. Jungkook had a crush on you too, like almost all the male idols did, and Tae was smirking at the fact that he got to have you.

Originally posted by pjkook


Jungkook:

Jungkook hid, not wanting to face the others. They were all teasing him when they found out that he like you. Now that you made a public confession about you liking him, he knew.

“Jungkook! Where are you?” Hoseok shouted throughout the dorm. Jungkook internally groaned and locked his door. He didn’t care if Namjoon had to get in the room. To the outside world, he seemed embarrassed, but he was super happy.

Originally posted by hohbi

Why do we always meet like this? Kim Namjoon/ Rap Monster - Part 6

Notes: this is long overdue, like longgggggg. HyunA is referred to this way in the fic because I feel more people know her as HyunA rather than Kim Hyun-Ah. I feel like this is such a trashy fic oml, I feel like just dodging it but apparently people like it lol. Thank you so much❤

Word Count: 2,872

Summary: Some one comes for a late visit and a few uninvited guests decide to drop by. As if things couldn’t get any worse your mum has an important call for you and your plans for the next years come crashing down in the shape of a young boy.


Originally posted by gotjimin


Namjoon hobbled home that day. You skipped home. And well Yoongi? God knows that boy probably grew wings and flew home, the point is you all went your separate ways and something was going to bring you three to another awkward meeting.

Sitting at home munching on some Cheetos you flicked through the movie channels looking for something good to watch. The clicking of the remote filled up the entire room.



"Harry Potter? Nope"


*CLICK*


“Bad Neighbors? Seen it.“


*CLICK*


“Batman V Superman? I’ll kill myself before I watch that trashy movie.”


*Insert favourite song for doorbell because why not?*



You hadn’t even realised the door bell had rung but when it continued to be abused by some fool you decided to go find out who was planning on dying at this ungodly hour. Rushing down the stairs slipper in hand you came upon someone you did not expect to see.

“Hyuna? Oh My God. HYUNA!” you practically yelled her name the second time before hitting the release button on the door and hugging your old friend. She smiled and squeezed you back before pulling away and taking in your current state. 



"How have you been? You look like you could kill someone!“ She chuckled at the last bit and you added a nervous one to top it off but not before mumbling "I have a person in mind…" 



"Did you say something?”



"No no come in! It’s been so long!“ You said ushering her into your apartment and out of the crisp midnight air.
Making your way up the stairs you thought of how much you need to talk about and settling down on your couch with the TV on in the background you pulled out some Cheetos offering her some.

"Don’t mind if I do!” She said before pulling some out and throwing them into her mouth. She looked like she had something in mind so you waited for her to speak again.



"Actually I’ve come to ask you something… Remember those designs you handed us a while back. Well my manager would like to discuss the possibility of using them in our next music video ‘Crazy’.“ You almost choked on that cheesy devil.
Your eyes widened to the size of golf balls and your jaw dropped.

"Wait your being serious right? I’m not getting Punk’d?!” Hyuna laughed and patted your shoulder assuring you.
"I don’t think Ashton Kutcher would come down to Korea for a Punk’d episode.“



After the last syllable of the last word Hyuna had said you shot up grabbing her arms and pulling her up screaming and dancing around the room.

“Oh my god! OH MY GOD! HYUNA I LOVE YOU! HERE HAVE MY ICE CREAM AND MY CAR AND MY HOUSE!” While saying this you quickly pulled out two tubs of Ben and Jerry’s and Hagen Dasz and placed it in front of her with a spoon. Obviously you weren’t going to give her your apartment and car, that’s just crazy.



“So when do I move in?”


“…”



“I’M JUST KIDDING!”




The early morning had been filled with girl chatter amongst yourselves. You had finally caught up with each other’s stories and you were going to prepare your bed for Hyuna to sleep in as you felt honoured since it was one of her days off and she had decided to spend some time with you.

Key word ‘WERE’.



*Insert favourite song here for doorbell once more*



“That’s cool I’ve got to get me one of those” Hyuna commented and she got up to go answer the doorbell. Hitting the intercom button she asked “Who is it?” and although it was very faint you heard someone say “It’s Namjoon!” 



“Namjoon?! Is that you?!” your eyes widened but it was too late.



“Hyuna wait!” she had already buzzed him up and it was only a matter of time before he was knocking at your front door. Groaning you got up to greet him as you opened the door. 



“Hey (Y/N)! Missed me? Told you I’d be back!”



“I had hoped you were politely lying…”


Smiling at you he brushed past into the front room and walked up to Hyuna to greet her. Pulling Namjoon into a tight hug you eyed Hyuna curiously.

“Hyuna? You know this fool?” you questioned in a not so low voice. She looked at you before smiling and saying “4minute and BTS have done many events together so we have become good friends with all of the members.” She stated before turning to Namjoon after realising something. “But how do you two know each other?”

At this Namjoon grinned widely. “I don’t know him. He just turns up at my house for food so I pity the poor homeless man and give it to him but he keeps coming back.”



Namjoon shot you a glare before assuring Hyuna that this was NOT how you met. In the middle of your conversation the buzzer sounded once more and you were sure your neighbours had been woken up by now. Namjoons face lightened up before he quickly made his way to the buzzer letting whoever it was in
.

“Hey! You seem to forget this isn’t your house!” You scolded him for letting the person in without your permission. He smiled at you before opening the door that someone had just knocked at and your eyes widened.

"Yoongi…” Yoongi stepped in eyeing the place before facing you and giving you a small thumbs up and grin. “Hey (Y/N), I decided to swing by and say hey.” You internally groaned before plastering a fake smile onto your face and greeted him back.

“Hi Yoongi…” Before you could finish conversing with him another person with extremely red hair stepped into your apartment. “Who the hell a-“

“HALLOOO~, MY NAME IS V!” While saying this ‘V’ made a v shape with two of his fingers and grinned showing a rectangle smile. You groaned massaging your forehead in preparation for the headache this overly joyous boy would be bringing you. “We turn up now!” In what you assumed to be an attempt to pump everyone up he gestured a ‘raise the roof’ gesture and pumped his fists in the air.

…

…

Silence…

“Okay then…” turning back to Namjoon you continued to scold him directing it at Yoongi aswell. “What are you guys doing here?! I need to go to work soon the only reason Hyuna is allowed to stay is because I actually like her! So could you please leave?” Namjoon scoffed and Yoongi grunted in disapproval. “You may not like Yoongi but I know for a fact you sure as hell like me!”



“Oh yeah? And what gave you that ‘amazing’ analysis?”



“Hey wait a minute! She likes me more then she would ever like you ‘Joonie’!”

“V is hungry!”



“No she does not!”



“V has swag!”



“Could we all just shut up for two and a half seconds! ‘V’ we get it you’re hungry and have swag there’s ice cream on the table knock yourself out! Namjoon you’re a decent person. You really are, but there is no way in any realm that I would like you. Yoongi stop bothering me before I cut all ties with you. And all three of you GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!”

They all looked at you in awe as they contemplated whether they should resist leaving or just go.



“I can take the ice cream right?” Turning to V you glanced at him for a few seconds before leaving the room. Entering the kitchen you grabbed a plastic bag and put both tubs of ice cream in it and turned to the half full Cheetos before shoving it into the bag and handing it to V. His eyes widened and his rectangle smile grew. He grabbed the bag before dancing around the room and smacking Namjoon and Yoongi in the butts, however, their reactions were dull as if they had gotten used to this action. What the hell was wrong with this guy?



For some reason though you found yourself more drawn to his crazy personality instead of Namjoons cocky one or Yoongi’s cool persona. See why couldn’t they be more like this? As your train of thought began to wonder off to God knows where you were brought out of your mental state by your phone abruptly ringing. Yoongi, Namjoon and Hyuna had glanced over to your phone on the table and V had started stuffing his face with the Cheetos you had given to him leaving behind an orange coating on his hands and his mouth.

Walking over to your coffee table you picked up your phone and checked the caller id.



“OOOO, It’s your mum! You better answer that!” jumping out of your skin you turned around to find V staring down at your phone. The bag of Cheetos were tucked under his arm in a protective manner and the plastic bag with the ice cream was hanging on his wrist. He had a handful of Cheetos in his hand and he shovelled that down as well. Maybe giving him junk food wasn’t the best idea. Oh well, he wasn’t going to be your problem when Yoongi and Namjoon took him home.

‘Sliding to answer’ your phone you placed it your ear and hesitantly said “Mum?” you weren’t scared of her, oh no. but whenever she called you it was either for a favour or what ‘Mary from down the street’ had just told her. Mary was a gossip whore and everyone knew it.

“(Y/N)! I forgot to mention something!”



*Namjoon POV*



It was getting lively in here thanks to Taehyung but (Y/N)’s phone broke the atmosphere. Turns out it was her mum and everyone fell silent as we all tried to listen in on the conversation. Yes it was impolite but let’s be honest here, we passed that line when Taehyung decided to drop Cheetos everywhere and practically rob her of her ice cream.

“WHAT?!”

“Lord Jesus have mercy on me.” I muttered after my heart leaped out of my throat. Turning to her I listened to her side of the conversation.

“YOU CAN’T JUST TELL ME THESE THINGS NOW!”

Well that went from 0 to 100 real fast.

“HIS ROOMS NOT EVEN READY!”
Woah hold up. His?

“Mum! You can’t just send him on a plane and tell me to collect him an hour before he arrives! Who even sends their youngest child travelling by themselves?!”

That must mean it is (Y/N)’s younger brother or something. Wait.
“There’s more of you?”

She shot me a glare and I decided to just keep my mouth shut after that. God knows what else she would do to me.
“Fine, I’ll go get him. How long is he even staying here for?”

…

“A YEAR?! HE’S 12 YEARS OLD! WHAT HAPPENED TO SCHOOL?!”

…

“I DON’T CARE IF IT BURNED DOWN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!”

…

"Oh my god, how would this be a great experience for him?! He’s going to fall behind on everything!”



“You know what? I’m going to go to the airport and wait for him. Sort something out!”



And with that she hung up. Turning around she stared at all of us and the only thing that could be heard was V’s loud crunching.

“What?”

“Well, I guess you gotta go get him.”

“I know that!”

“We’ll come with you!” V offered.
“Do whatever you want. It seems you’ve been doing that a lot lately.” She mumbled the last bit to herself but i still managed to catch it. And so with that we all stepped out of the house and into Hyuna’s van as (Y/N)’s car was yet to be collected.



*Time Skip*


*(Y/N) POV*

“Oh and this one! OOOOO LOOK AT THAT!”

I was stood in one of the airports shops watching V pick out every single piece of junk food they had to offer. This was one of the most painful experiences of my life.

“Doesn’t your manager care about where you are and what you’re doing?”

“We’ve just finished promoting our comeback so right now we have alottttt of free time!”

This made you internally groan as this meant Namjoon would be bothering you more frequently. Which also meant Yoongi would have more free time as well. You had not mentally prepared yourself for this.

After Taehyung (Who had eventually told you his real name is Kim Taehyung) finished purchasing all the food he carried the plastic bags into the waiting area of the airport which was abandoned apart from the three Idols waiting on the benches. Checking your watch you found it was 5 minutes to the planes arrival and you were starting to feel slightly excited despite your current situation.
You loved your little brother to the moon and back even though he got quite irritating. He was nothing compared to your older sister though.



Looking up at the ‘arrivals and departures’ board you noticed that the plane was due. Smoothing out your casual attire you stood and made your way to Gate 6. As people began to exit you caught sight of a tuft of light (H/C) hair.

As people filed past you your little brother came into view as he was dragging his suitcase behind him and playing on his DS at the same time. He had one ear phone in and seemed to be mouthing some lyrics. 

You stood there as he walked straight past you and into the waiting area and you felt like grabbing him by the hair and yanking him back for a proper greeting but restrained yourself. 


He plopped himself down right next to Namjoon without taking notice of him and continued to play what you assumed to be ‘Pokémon’. Namjoon watched his screen and V skipped over before sitting on the other side of (B/N) and peering over his shoulder.

“OH! I think it would be better to use Charizard because Pikachu is weak against grass types!” Did V just give your brother advice on how to play Pokémon? You were beginning to think V might have been dropped a couple of times as a child.

(B/N) looked up and his eyes widened. For a second you thought he knew who V was but then he said

“M-my older sister told me not to t-talk to s-strangers…” he bashfully looked down saving his progress and turning off the DS before placing it in his back pack. Brushing back a few strands of messy hair he nervously turned the other way. Big mistake. 


Namjoon was smiling down at the young boy but he must have taken it the wrong way as he got up and began to walk to another seat. V stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"Hey, is your sister (Y/N)?” He turned around in shock and then really took in V’s face. “Y-your t-that guy from BTS r-right? V?” he seemed slightly excited now.

“DING DING DING! HERE HAVE A JELLY BEAN AS A REWARD!” V offered a pack to him which he timidly stuck his hand in to take one out.



“B-but then that means…” He turned to Namjoon and his breath hitched.

“R-RAP MONSTER!”



You had begun to walk over but then froze as you realised something. ‘Rap Monster’. No wonder that name sounded familiar. Your brother always went on and on about this Rap Monster guy and even persuaded you to listen to him. He was good. REALLY good at rapping and you were familiar with a few of his songs in his mixtape. So Rap Monster was ‘Joonie’. You found yourself having new found respect for him.



“Yeah I’m Rap Monster. Have you heard of me?”



“Heard? I listen to you every day! Look!”


He pulled the free earphone up to Namjoons ear and Namjoon took it putting it in his ear. He immediately began singing along and it impressed you if you were totally honest with yourself.



“R to the M I’m a mu-fuckin monster


R to the M I’m a mu-fuckin monster


This life I livin, i live life I livin


You live, they leavin i spit right im heaven


Sick of your gimic so get right you bitches”



You were displeased at the fact he was swearing in front of your little brother but the way his eyes gleamed as he looked up at his idol stopped you from scolding Namjoon. For now.



“I guess this family have a thing for me!” he said in Korean and you stomped over to him. He noticed you walking towards him and put his guard up ready for any attacks to come his way.



Grabbing your brother and spinning him around you bent down to his height.

“A ‘hello (Y/N), how are you?’ would have been nice but oh no, you walked up to this guy and decided to talk to a stranger rather than greet the person you’ll be living with for the next year.”


“B-but it’s Rap Monster! It’s Namjoon!”



“And that’s V and that’s Hyuna and that’s Yoongi but you didn’t say hi to them!” you stated emphasising each person with a point of your finger.



“B-but its Namjoon!”



This is going to be one long year…

5

“CURVY GIRLS ROCK!!!”


One of our all time favorite plus size fashion bloggers, miss nadiaaboulhosn!!!
She is definitely fierce and loves to show off her New York swag. She has the hottest wardrobe, we know it may be hard to find fashion forward plus size clothing but of course we got you covered…
nadiaaboulhosn is showing us clothing from boohooofficial, @roseandono, swimsuit from @sunraniadesigns & this dope tupac Tee from klaerizmnyc!!!
Definitely LacedLux approved
Stay sexy, stay sweet, stay sassy… ;) :*

BTS react to you having more swag than Suga

Thank you for the request anon, this made me laugh haha

Jungkook:

Interviewer: “Is it true Y/N has more swag than Suga?”

V:

Interviewer: “Does Y/N have more swag than Suga?”

V: “Yes!”

Jimin: “I think I have more swag than both of you”

Rap Monster: 

Interviewer: “Does Y/N have more swag than Suga?”

Rap Monster: “Y/N has a lot more, yes”

J-Hope: “Y/N has more swag than Suga”

Suga:

Jin: “She has way more swag than Suga”

BTS Reacting to Adele’s “Hello”

~I needed to this now….I’m not proud~

~I also take requests~


V: *Replays it 50 times and cries*


Jungkook: *Hold iron man plushie to chest* Hello….it’s me. I was wondering If you would want to meet up after all these years.

BTS: *Backs away slowly*


Jin: *Eats his feelings*


Rapmonster: This song is deep….


Suga: She has swag *Tears rolling down cheeks*


J-hope: *Cries*


Jimin:  *Didn’t listen to it.* Why is everybody crying?

~Credit to gif owners~