Honestly, I headcanon that absolutely everyone at the Conclave knows Lavellan is a spy. They just get the details wrong.
All of the other backgrounds can blend in pretty easy. Trevelyan is a human affiliated with the Chantry/Circle - no one is going to give them a second glance. Adaar is Tal-Vasoth, and that’s rare, sure, but in a place where Templars and mages might get into fight if the proceedings devolved, you want good security. Cadash is actually from the Carta but could easily pretend to be a merchant or a lyrium mining representative. These are all plausible reasons for the other backgrounds to be at the Conclave.
Lavellan though. Lavellan sticks out like a sore thumb. They’ve got vallaslin across their face and a blank expression every time someone says anything more religiously complicated than “Andraste.” The Dalish are so rare that even some city elves think they’re a myth. Lavellan has no chance of slipping under the radar.
But everyone knows the Left Hand of the Divine has eyes everywhere, and she favors unorthodox agents. It’s widely accepted within a couple days that Lavellan must be working for Leliana. There’s some debate over whether they’re actually that new to human society, just there to see who gives up blatantly obvious information, or whether that’s just a convincing act meant to lower people’s guards.
It becomes such an accepted fact that people give messages to Lavellan - just completely inane things like “I found a great shoemaker in Antiva!” so they can point out their great spy detection skills - to communicate back to Leliana, and Lavellan, on their best spy behavior, just goes along with it. Otherwise, around the elf they say absolutely nothing they wouldn’t want the Left Hand of the Divine to hear.
Lavellan ends the Conclave with a bunch of messages that mean absolutely nothing without context and nothing else.
Eugenides: all the (ง •̀_•́)ง emoticon things. works memes into every conversation. rickrolls EVERYONE especially Costis who is too innocent and never suspects any link of being anything other than what people say it is. misspells everything on purpose to annoy people
Eddis: Lots of !!!!! to show how happy she is. Tends to use good spelling but lots of shortened words to be efficient. doesn’t trust any links because she grew up with Gen
Attolia: Always uses proper capitalization and punctuation that makes it looks like everything she types is in a really serious tone even when it isn’t. refuses to use acronyms with Gen to annoy him but uses them perfectly with everyone else. texts eddis screen shots of her conversations with Gen just to show her what she has to deal with
Sophos: Emojis everywhere. Heart eyes for Eddis. responds to most of Gen’s comments with the laughing/crying face. uses really formal replies with attolia though because she scares him a lil. probably picked up eddis’s way of just going !!!!!!!!!! or ????????? to stuff
Costis: just *looks into the camera like i’m on the office* to everything Gen texts which is a lot all the time because Gen loves texting Costis nonsense even though Costis is horrible with his phone and hardly ever checks it. when he needs to rant he skips texting and just calls Aris without saying hello just launches into it
fandom: girl meets world pairing: riley matthews x lucas friar word count: 2,466 summary: the three weeks that riley is grounded are probably the worst three weeks of lucas’ life. // or lucas deals with a severe lack of riley in his life. notes: so this fic is a response to the latest gmw episode girl meets her monster!!! i decided to write a lil thing about lucas being all sad when riley is grounded so he can’t spend time with her and it ended up being a lot longer than expected, but hey i’m not gonna complain!! it’s far from the best thing i’ve ever written, but i hope you all enjoy it never the less! let me know what you think!
All and all, the three weeks that Riley is grounded end up being some of the worst weeks of Lucas’ life. Alright, so he’s being a little dramatic, the entire year he was expelled from school and the months and months of living in love triangle limbo definitely were rougher and more exhausting, but that didn’t mean that the three weeks without Riley weren’t tough.
After weeks of living in bliss, spending afternoons and weekends at the Matthews’ house or sitting in Topanga’s with Riley, to suddenly have all their interactions limited to school, Lucas is pretty lost on what to do with himself. Them spending countless hours together outside of school wasn’t a new phenomenon that started when they started officially dating, Riley had always been one of Lucas’ go to people to spend time with, and while he loved spending time with Farkle and Zay, he needed a little bit of variety.
Hiiiii!!! I was hoping to get some headcanons on Fellswap Undyne if you do her? Not romantic, just, like, how she acts to friends and all.
Fellswap Undyne headcanons w Friends:
-she’s kinda reclusive. Screw that, MAJORLY
-only Alphys can really drag her out, Papyrus has a decent time talking to her on the phone
-Undyne doesn’t like being around Papyrus when he’s high or something but she won’t interfere with him doing it
-takes spicy food challenges very seriously. Wins each one and the skeletons don’t even have tongues unless they conjure them
-the movie fanatic. Hosts sleepovers with Alphys watching zombie films
-I also think she’d be majorly into video games? Like interactive simulation sort of stuff, to help train for battle
-most like a mom friend-in Fellswap/Swapfell there really isn’t one person who reigns everyone in but she’s the closest
-fiercely protective of her friends, super loyal. she has eyes everywhere and she will KNOW.
-that being said, she’s also kind of bad with people’s boundaries but she gets it after you tell her once.
-for the love of god Undyne STOP BUYING BLACK CLOTHING
Killian is the prince of the small kingdom of Balliolshire and he has been tasked with finding and stopping the pirate captain that has been wreaking havoc on the seas. He’s unprepared for the challenges Captain Swan will present. A CS royal Killian/pirate Emma AU.
Killian looked out over the harbor and wondered if in another life he would still be a sailor. The weeks spent in the saddle as he made his way to Misthaven had thoroughly convinced him that he was meant for the seas in this life. Only Thompson’s good humor had kept him from tearing his hair out in frustration, or boredom, Killian wasn’t sure which one outdid the other. Either way he was sure that no matter what life he was born into he would find his way to the open water.
Their progress had been impeded by an invitation from King Arthur to stay at his castle for a ball that was being held as Killian was passing through. Not wanting to insult Arthur and put any kind of strain on their kingdom’s relationship he had accepted. Thompson had spent the afternoon leading up to the ball teasing Killian for not thinking to bring a proper outfit for the occasion. Killian would have laughed if he hadn’t been worried about not being able to make it to Misthaven’s harbor in time to meet the Jewel when it anchored.
One advantage of his impromptu stay was his unfettered access to Camelot’s library. Using the excuse of wanting to familiarize himself with the Queen’s rise to power he was shown to the historical records by the library’s keeper and then left alone. At first he did just that, read about the Queen’s decades long vendetta against Queen Snow White, the multiple attempts on Queen Snow and her husband James’ life, and the eventual banishment. All which had happened nearly twenty-seven years earlier, when he was only a small child uncaring of the political strife around him.
Before he had realized it he had been in deep into his reading for hours. It was only when Thompson had appeared at his elbow warning him that the dinner hour was fast approaching that Killian tore himself away. After reassurances from the librarian that the table he had been at would be untouched he had left, determined to return and continue discovering the path leading to the Queen’s rule.
He had had to wait a full day before he was able to slip back into the library, happy to find the books and parchment he’d left behind undisturbed. With the ball being held that night he had wasted no time and risen before most of the servants to resume his task, knowing the castle would be bustling with so much activity that the lack of his presence would go unnoticed.
It wasn’t long before he lost himself in history again. He idly noted the sixteen years of peace for Misthaven and their allies, Camelot and Balliolshire among them. For him those years were filled with nothing but memories of lessons and time spent dueling imaginary foes with Liam. They were also filled with the incessant grooming by their parents and tutors moulding Liam and himself into the proper royal princes they were born to be. Liam had borne the near torture with grace, Killian had not.
Flipping through the book pages and loose sheaves of parchment it was several minutes before he found where the Queen’s tale picked back up. While she had remained quiet for sixteen years she had apparently not remained idle. Killian read with horror how she had torn through the kingdom, laying waste to villages and towns that stood against her. Her assault on Queen Snow’s castle had only lasted a day before it fell. When the smoke had cleared Queen Snow and Prince James were imprisoned and the Queen had sat herself on the throne of Misthaven. No one had challenged her rule for the nine years that followed. Until whispered rumors started spreading of a single pirate ship that dared to attack Misthaven’s merchant vessels.
Finally Killian had come across the information he had originally gone to the library for. What he found was disappointing, to say the least. Camelot had no borders along the sea, the only notable body of water within it was a large lake, almost large enough to be a sea itself. As a result any hope he’d had of finding mention of the Tarina Brooke was lost as he almost feverishly scoured the records. Aside from the brief mention of a pirate ship openly attacking ships under the Queen’s protection there was nothing more. Killian had growled in frustration, earning a glare from the librarian, and cleaned up after himself in agitated movements. He had been relieved that the ball was that night, if only for the flowing libations and fanciful lasses that would provide sufficient distraction from his disappointment.
1) so clearly lovelace is the Badass Scoundrel™ and minkowski is the sheriff and they try the whole duel thing but then by a series of unfortunate events eiffel gets hurt and they call it a draw
2) hilbert is the sketchy ass town doctor w no past whose remedies either work miraculously or end up killing the patient… he ends up saving eiffel after the duel gone wrong
3) hera is the local bartender for the saloon. she has eyes and ears EVERYWHERE and nothing happens in this town without her knowing
4) kepler, jacobi, and maxwell are a band of roughriders who come into town and take over. they r part of a larger gang called goddard run by a mysterious and creepy guy from the city back east
5) eiffel runs the general store. while hera knows everything, eiffel has everything. he has product that should by all accounts have been impossible to acquire this far west and yet he has it.
Oracle would probably be a one-woman machine battling the forces of ableism and the lack of support for disabled heroes in the DCU, wouldn’t she? She has eyes everywhere and the network to provide the support that few other people seem to have noticed.
When an autistic teenager with latent meta powers is bullied into a fit that winds up causing massive property damage and gets him put on trial as a “supervillain”, Oracle deputizes Kate Spencer to take over his defense, totally dismantle the smug Prosecutor trying to ruin the kid’s life, and then makes sure he gets the assistance he needs to manage his powers and use them for good.
When a deaf superheroine starts making waves and proves herself to be one of the world’s best new heroes, but the JLA doesn’t seem to have noticed yet because reasons, Oracle hacks their servers to add a sign language tutorial for all the members and then strongly hints that the fastest learner should give her an interview.
When a prominent young heroine breaks her neck in a freak accident that leaves her paralyzed, Oracle hacks all the gossip websites and gives them false leads as to which hospital she’s at, ensuring that she can heal in peace. She keeps in touch with her through rehab and makes sure she’s set up with the software and assistive technology she needs to apprentice under Oracle and join the network, if she wants.
When an iconic superhero begins acting increasingly erratic after one of the major cosmic battles that nearly ends the world, endangering himself and others, Oracle gets Bruce Wayne to communicate to his newspaper holdings that they should knock off the ableist headlines about this hero “going crazy”, and instead ensures that the hero is provided with proper PTSD counseling before a tragedy occurs.
Oracle seeing all the systematic ableism and lack of support for disabled metas and heroes who become disabled, and shutting that shit down.
In a fight between Grey and Lizzy I think Lizzy has the higher chance of victory.
Why? Well, they are obviously both extremely talented at fencing:
If they were to battle each other soley based on skills their fight might continue until one faints from exhaustion.
Now, Lizzy has oftentimes proven just how strong she is, yet Grey is a brute who often resorts to violent behaviour which has had a training-like influence on his body, plus he’s a guy so he would hardly lose to Lizzy in terms of physical strengh.
The difference lies in their personalities:
To Grey hurting people is just a game he enjoys while Lizzy only fights for valid reasons. Grey wants to win and would do anything for that.
Lizzy on the other hand is the rational type of fighter. She has her eyes and ears everywhere and is therefore capable of dodging Grey, parading and counterattacking. She’s strong and equally fast, if not faster.
She can pose a threat to him and the idea of losing his own game would drive Grey furious. He’d become even more violent and completely obsessed with taking her down whatever it would take. Being the genius she is, Lizzy would see through this, find his openings and strike.
can you tell us your shovel talk jayroy hcs? please? i beg you
Listen,, (dont ask for a timeline,,,,,,or why steph and cass are black bat & batgirl bc it is what it is i suck)
the first one to find out of course. She has eyes everywhere, after all, and
Jason and Roy aren’t really hiding their relationship. She hacks into Roy’s com a few days
afterwards, and tells him in the most dead serious voice ever “There’s not a
single place on earth you could hide where I couldn’t find you, Arsenal. Just keep
that in mind.” and then cuts the transmition. Roy is terrified, and Jason can’t
understand why his bf misses a few shots during that mission. (Barbara feels a bit bad, and a few days later he sends them a fruit basket to congratulate them)
second, best detective and all of that. He straight up asks them when he sees
them, and then congratulates them when Jason confirms it….. and…… okay, if that
night he sends Roy a few messages reminding him how being trained by Batman
shaped him to be able to take him down, it’s nobody business. (“I thought you
bats didn’t kill” “There are worst things that death, Roy :)” “why are you guys so creepy”)
Cass is next. She drops right next to Roy during a patrol, when Jason had disappeared
into an orphanage to leave a few kids they had just rescued from Killer Croc.
Black Bat doesn’t say anything for a while, which only works to unnerve Roy even more.
Finally, she just says a very clear “Be careful with him”, and waits till Roy
nods before leaving. Somehow, Roy suspects she would be the first one to come
after him if anything happened.
and Harper break the “passive aggressive” chain. They corner him one night,
Batgirl shoving him against a wall, the tip of one of his own arrows against
his throat, while Blue Bird looks at him curiously over her shoulder. “You hurt
him, I hurt you, capiche?” Stephanie asks, as sharp as the tip of his arrow,
and when he nods, she smiles and lets
him go. “You gotta grip these tighter, red” she jokes before turning around to
leave, as if the arrow just wasn’t close to slash his throat a few seconds ago.
“She means it” Harper tells him, almost amused before following Batgirl.
the newest Robin hates being left
behind, so he isn’t surprised when one day he wakes up to find the little brat
sitting on his chest, the end of a sword right between his eyes. “Todd may be
an imbecile, but he’s family. Do him wrong, and my father won’t be able to stop
me from hurting you”. Roy has to bite his tongue to stop himself from asking
him if Dick is aware his little brother is running around shoving swords into
people’s faces. If the kid is half as good as Talia, he would be toast in a matter of seconds.
about Dick, Roy doesn’t understand how the oldest ex robin hasn’t even sent him
a text to warn him about hurting Jason, or something like that. Not even a pun
that would make Jason snort the moment Roy showed it to him, or emails.. nada.
comes when Nightwing crashes into their apartment one morning, shouting about needing intel
about some gang they had been rounding up, only to come across both of them cuddling
in bed, as naked as the day they were born. There’s a beat of silence, and Roy
comes to the conclusion that Dick didn’t try to give him the shovel talk
because he didn’t know. Anyway, you
know that episode from friends where someone eats Ross sandwich, and he starts
yelling angrily? Well, that’s how Dick starts screaming when he connects the
BROTHER, ROY?? MY BROTHER?? YOU’RE SLEEPINGWITHMY BABY BROTHER??WHAT THE FUCK!!!” “Actually we’re dating
and he’s…twenty two…” “MY BABY BROTHER”)
Jason just mumbles something like “Jesus Christ Dick chill out its 6am, go kill
Roy somewhere else and let me sleep in peace”)
he likes Duke the moest out of the batclan when the kid just pats him in the
back and, making a batman impression, tells him right in from of Jason to “be
nice with red hood, you both are pretty cool and I wouldn’t like to take sides”.
(“Hey! Roy isn’t even a bat, you should
take my side by default” “uh uh” “oh come on, I showed you the best hiding
places of the batcave and this is how you repay me? I’m hurt” “is he always
this dramatic?” “yup, get used to it”)
to tell Bruce instead of waiting for him to find out. Roy expects him to be the
less chill about it, expects some maiming or glares. Instead B only smiles,
something completely new to Roy, and tells them he’s happy on their behalf. At
least Jason looks as bewildered as he feels.
we tell Alfred too?” “Pf, i told
him as soon as we started dating, don’t be ridiculous” “of course.
Miss Fortune is acutely aware of most the going ons in Bligewater.
She has eyes and ears everywhere, so even when she’s not actually in Bilgewater– word never slips past her. The pirate hunter is a force to be reckoned with, having taken down Gangplank, and cleaned the streets of anyone who associated with him. Criminal activity between sailors / pirates is kept hush hush, and spoken in secret- for fear she may come for them too.
Fandom: MCU Summary: A thousand opportunities to be the man he saw in the mirror.
“You have to promise to go there as a friend.”
“Captain,” Iron Man greets, taking his plated hands off the door he just wrenched open. Captain America lowers his shield, stepping off the stairs and towards the suit. “You seem a little defensive.”
“Well, it’s been a long day,” the Captain says with a smile. Iron Man has a line here, something he’s supposed to say, something that breaks the dark tension, but he remains quiet. The Captain’s smile drops. “Tony?”
No, Iron Man thinks. “Captain Rogers,” he says, and there is the sound of boots pounding down the hall from both directions. “Sergeant Barnes.”
“Tony!” The Captain pleads, stepping back towards where Barnes is crouching, whirling around, searching for the source of the sound before turning back to Iron Man. “What’s going on? What did you do?”
“What I had to,” Iron Man responds. No, he thinks again, dimly, as if his thoughts were very far away. Soldiers dressed in heavy combat gear appear almost out of thin air, surrounding the Captain and Soldier and forcing them to the ground.
“You’re under arrest,” Iron Man tells the Captain, who bucks under the soldiers’ grips until Iron Man levels a repulsor at his head. “Stay down, final warning.”
The Captain collapses, surrendering. “Why are you doing this?” he asks brokenly.
Tony, watching it all unfold, shrugs his shoulders. “Have to protect myself, Cap. I hope one day you can understand.”
Outside, Ross is waiting, and he smiles when he sees Iron Man with two super soldiers in tow. “Well done, Mr. Stark.”
Iron Man remains silent, but Tony keeps his eyes focused on the look of devastation on Steve’s face, the resigned defeat on Barnes’.
So…have I ever talked about Single Dad Inquisitor? Cause I feel like I have, but I don’t think I have on tumblr (just with my DA friend)?
Like Single Dad Inquisitor who has three little girls waiting for him back in Haven during the Conclave and they are all super worried, pulling on the hem of Auntie’s frock when the Temple of Sacred Ashes go up in flames.
Three Little Girls who are torn apart and being comforted by their Aunt when news reaches them that no one, save for a criminal made it out alive.
The giant smiles on their tear-stained faces as they run to hug their father, when it’s found out he is this Herald of Andraste. And their little pouts when he sends them back home with their Aunt to tell their Grandfather of the Conclave, to keep them safe.
The three little girls who later show up at Skyhold to visit their father and the surprise written on each of the companion’s faces (beside Leliana of course), to find out their Inquisitor is a father. The utter questioning look on Cassandra’s face when she sees the Herald has three daughters and at least one of them is just staring at her.
And that one little girl who idolizes Cassandra, she is really pretty and strong after all. She’s the one who is protecting her daddy right? Cause that means he’ll be super safe, he has a lot of strong friends to look out for him.
There’s Bull and Krem too, who watch the Little Girls when something comes up for the Boss and they dote on these children. Grand stories, sweets, and little stuffed nugs all around, the big men of the Inquisition protecting the little princesses and one of them is all set to become a legendary Charger. They might even have a little crush on Krem.
There’s Sera who tries to get the spoiled girls to get down and dirty, pull their noses down before they are stuck up someone’s arse like their dad. He ain’t so bad though, but they are all still going to pin his knickers to the flagpole.
Josephine and Vivienne who dress the little Girls, as doting as the Chargers in a much proper and softer way. A woman can be absolutely dashing and kick in some doors after all.
And there is one of the Little Girls who won’t dare to leave Solas and Dorian alone, she is smart, incredibly so and they are actually quite invested in teaching her. She is after all reading well above her teaching and just because her usual tutor is off somewhere in the Free Marches does not mean her education should suffer.
While Blackwall and Cullen are the victims of the mischievous daughter’s, her prank skills honed by Sera and Iron Bull. Why ever would they think such a sweet, innocent child put that fork in Cullen’s seat? And how dare someone pour that bucket of water from the ramparts and onto Blackwall’s head?
Which it is Leliana who sings them songs and tells them stories, who lets them pet Baron Plucky. It’s her who tells them that their father is fine out there with the others, she has eyes everywhere you see and she can see everything. She knows.
Varric tells stories too, but they are stories of their dad. Of great dragons falling and dark caves, with all the close and gory parts cut out. He’s not so good at child stories, but it never seems to bother them and who knows maybe he has found a new niche.
Even Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall, a legend that the Girls have only heard about. To finally meet them in person, to look up and see the tarnished armor and their weary smile. To them this is something bigger and Hawke has to feel the slightest humbled by that. Even more so when the girls not only want to know about him, but his other half too. Is dog alright? Is Fenris really as handsome in person? Is Isabela as beautiful? Is Anders eating and safe? Merrill feeling happy and at home now? Sebastian ruling fairly and happily? Have they heard from Carver, seen Bethany, or written Aveline? For a brief moment Hawke and friends are heroes again, the Girls will always believe that.
And it is Dad Inquisitor who looks on his little girls and his makeshift family, and he thinks that maybe…for the first time in a long time, this is home.
Who wants some fun facts?!
Nobody? Aw, well…you’re getting some anyway!
- Lance dyes his hair (its dark red).
- I'shoyu’s alias “Ignis Kat” has been my online handle for years. Basically was to lazy to change it when I decided to have her go OC instead of “in-game persona”.
- Rain doesn’t care much for Thanalan. To hot and dry. She stays because of Brinn (and Clan Centurio pays well).
- Raih has eyes and ears everywhere. She knows more than most think about what goes on in Ul'dah
- U'ratuo was created on a whim, and went through three different concepts before I settled on what she is now
- Rain’s original concept was to basically be making gil by dancing. Changed it to farm-girl gone healer who danced as a hobby till a terrible accident stopped it. (Which she has yet to build up courage to tell Brinn about, mostly because she’s ashamed of herself)
- A'rin is my youngest character in FFXIV. While the others are 20 and over, he’s 18
- R'atoh grew up as an orphan in Doma, and learned the Ninja ways. He doesn’t remember where he was born.
- Akai has no desire to return to Doma at this moment in time.
the other politicians are quick to approach him and sing him words of praise when he returns with the hostages.
“you are truly skilled, master sasuke,” senator orochimaru praises. she watches as sasuke struggles not to shudder under the other man’s pat on the shoulder. the senator and his bespectacled adviser are the last to leave, allowing sakura to approach the young jedi master without any prying eyes.
“i heard you crash landed half a ship,” she says.
he adjusts his robe and smirks. “and here i thought i was landing in front of your office. i was putting on a show for you, you know.”
When Persephone is born, Olympus rejoices. No, not when she is born; Olympus is not safe for a child not yet grown, not even an immortal child. Demeter loves her beautiful daughter, her tiny fingers the color of the acorns left on her altar, her eyes the color of every leaf and flower. She keeps her close always, lies in the spring grass and lets the infant goddess dig her fingers into the good fresh earth.
“My precious child,” she says, in between the baby’s babbling, rapidly becoming more coherent, and her own singing. “My beautiful child of spring. Do you know what spring means, Persephone?”
“Flowas,” Persephone coos. She is a week old. In another week, she will be walking by herself.
“Flowers, yes. And flowers are so pretty, aren’t they?” Demeter wraps her daughter in her arms, squeezes her tight and sprinkles kisses on her head. Persephone giggles, unaware that her mother’s grip would have crushed any normal baby, and made most immortal ones uncomfortable. But it is spring, and spring is resilient and strong.
“Flowas pitty,” Persephone says, once her mother loosens the hug enough for her to run her fingers through a patch of daisies. She plucks one, not dexterous enough yet to avoid crushing the tiny petals in her soft round hands.
Demeter peels the mangled petals away. “Sweet, flowers are delicate things. You must be gentle with them. If you are not careful, they will get hurt, see?”
“Protect,” Persephone says, eyes sad as her mother holds her close.
“I will protect you now, sweet flower, and when you grow you will protect yourself.” Demeter’s smile grows bitter. “But that is a long way away. For now, we are safe just the two of us here.”
When Persephone is born, Olympus hears of it. Zeus rejoices, laughing and drinking even more than usual, glorying in another addition to his collection of powerful children. Hera sits silent by his side, lips tight with anger, white as her arms. Poseidon, in his own kingdom, hears of it and does not care, though Demeter had been his lover. Hades, deep beneath the both of them, feels the iron of his crown grow colder and heavier.
Demeter and Hades are life and death, and know each other well for the ways that life and death leak into one another. Hades knows who the child’s father is, and he worries. Demeter harvests the fruit of all seeds, and Hades knows that this fruit can sometimes be poisonous.
In short, for poetry gives him headaches and there is much to be done in the world of the dead: Hades wonders what harm will come out of this.
Zelena is about to Snape the Smack out of H(ad)e(s)-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
That last bit in the teaser convinced me. Zelena accuses Regina of not trusting her, or believing in her. Regina thinks that Zelena is being won over by Hades. YET. Zelena spent the near entirety of “Ruby Slippers” facing serious regret, trying to help our band of heroes. Even BELLE. Belle convinces Zelena to help her, but Zelena refuses to involve Hades. She doesn’t trust him. Belle claims it’s because Zelena is scared. She isn’t. She just has nothing left to lose, and thus… she isn’t afraid of anything. She then goes full on Snape snark doom and gloom. It’s classic. Zelena then goes to confront Hades, claiming that her talk with the “bookworm” made her realize…… *pause for bravery….she’s about to lie to the lord of the underworld*….. “maybe I haven’t given you a fair chance.” WHERE DOES ZELENA EVER SAY THAT HE OUGHT TO HAVE A FAIR CHANCE? He’s still shady AF. She doesn’t trust him. And she is WAY too smart to be, as she said earlier, “rushing to Hades with open arms.” The way she looks at that jar of what once was Aunt Em… fear… disgust… and quickly hidden. She brushes it off casually, acting like she doesn’t already know that he did this for her. Hades says, “I know how much you hate that girl.” (IMMEDIATE FEAR. SHE DOESN’T. SHE REGRETS EVERYTHING NOW.) “She tried to make me take a nap,” Zelena says. “So I did something much worse.” (SHE’S OPENLY CONDEMNING HER OWN ACTIONS.) “Dorothy’s going to be asleep forever. What do you get out of it?” (SHE ALREADY KNOWS HE DID THIS FOR HER. HER QUESTION IS MEANT TO DISSUADE HIM FROM HARMING ANYONE FURTHER. TRYING TO DEVALUE THE INTENT.) He pours Aunt Em into the river. LOOK AT HER FACE…. “Other than your happiness? Nothing.” “Really?” Suddenly, Zelena is coy. Look at her body language. Makes sense to think she’s grateful for his gesture, even flattered. BUT SHE ALREADY KNEW THAT SHE CAUSED HIM TO DO ALL THIS. The last scene they had before this one, he told her he was going to take care of things regarding Ruby and Dorothy. SHE IS PLAYING HIM. “You’re scared……….. that I’m going to dissapoint you, aren’t you?” “Terrified.” Yes. She is. And should be. She’s on both sides of the camp now. (LOOK AT THE SHADOW ON HER FACE IN THAT LAST SHOT. PERFECTLY SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE; ONE HALF IN LIGHT, THE OTHER OBSCURED. CLASSIC.) “I think that’s a chance I’m just going to have to take.” This man has eyes and ears everywhere. She can’t tell ANYONE of her subterfuge. This is a HUGE risk that she is taking. She is going to try and manipulate the vengeful, powerful, and deadly Lord of the Underworld, placing her life and potentially her heart on the line in the process. All for the sake of helping our heroes.
As much as this episode was about Ruby and Dorothy, ALLLLLL THIS OTHER HEAVY SUBTEXT was going on in EVERY Zelena scene. Even Regina called her out on her facade. “Stop hiding behind all that bluster! You’re not proud. You’re caught.” Everything Zelena says in this episode can have double meaning. Her actions, too. But I think it’s obvious that she has realized her UNIQUE position, as the ONLY person, alive or dead, who Hades loves (or at least claims to) and tends to implicitly trust. She is going undercover. She’s going to get as close as possible to learn how to defeat him. I just hope she makes it out alive. Her birthday is April 15 which is, ironically, tax day. A day for green money. And greed. And jealousy. And, as the old joke goes, two things in life are unavoidable. One is taxes… the other is death. Please keep all large snakes away from Zelena. I’m just now reeeealllly starting to like her character.