People are still asking about the late Secret Santas and so I’ll answer again. Something came up where the other half (which I do not have) are still being completed. I’m having major difficulty contacted wynvin and I don’t have them to send out. I truly apologize for this, because I thought they were finished and ready, but what I can do is move the due date back to accommodate.
kaminari and jirou have a contest to see who can get more phone numbers but they're both terrible with girls
“Finally figured out why you two are friends.” Sero snickers between sips of his canned coffee. “Both of you are hopeless with girls.”
Kaminari and Jirou remind Sero of prairie dogs – how they stop giggling at a meme on Jirou’s phone and shoot up to standing from their perch on the couch.
“Dude, c’mon, what’s your deal?”
Jirou splutters. “I’m a girl, you boob.”
“Just because you’re one doesn’t mean you know how to flirt with ‘em.” Sero maybe enjoys their offended squawking a bit too much. “When’s the last time either of you got a phone number, huh?”
Both Kaminari and Jirou seem to short-circuit. Their mouths fall open, bodies freeze and stay otherwise silent except for a low harmony of uhhhhhhs. It’s so hard not to laugh at them, so Sero stops trying to.
“I gotta teach you two some game, jeez.”
Jirou slams her palm down on Sero’s desk, livid before homeroom. “This whole thing is unfair.”
Sero narrows his eyes. Somehow, Kaminari materializes behind him, and evilly cackles to himself. “What’s unfair?”
“The competition.” Jirou seethes. “Kaminari’s got an advantage, and you’re too dumb to see it.”
“You’re just mad I got two hotties’ digits last week.” Kaminari sticks his tongue out.
Sero balks. “I’m not trying to fix anything!”
“Well, he’s a boy, and so are you.” Jirou glowers. “I’m gay, ya jerk. You’re giving me dumb ass heterosexual pointers that aren’t compatible with my demographic!”
Kaminari’s teasing stops. A wave of clarity smashes Sero like a brick. “Oh.”
“Cheesy pickup lines, feigning nonchalance and acting all tough is garbage advice.” Jirou growls, volume rising. “And I can’t even tell who’s gay and who isn’t. I gotta ask – and you twits can assume everyone’s straight without thinking twice.”
Hm. Interesting argument. Sero thinks for a moment before responding to the angry lesbian looming over him. “We gotta find you a gay coach.”
“A gay coach?” Jirou almost laughs. “Who’s that gonna be?”
Even as the words leave her mouth, all three of them snap their attention to the messy, half-asleep pile of pink hair a few desks over, using her bag covered in bi pride pins as a pillow.
Jirou and Sero share a wild smile, and Kaminari begins to panic. “She’s gonna skew everything in Jirou’s favor!”
“Hell, maybe she can give me advice.” Sero rubs his hands together. “Maybe we’ll all have a girlfriend by the end of the month if we listen to her.”
“Aww, c’mon, idiot.” Jirou laughs, poking Kaminari’s terrified face. “Too scared to play in the big leagues?”
When the first elves began showing up in the borders of the Dark Forest, the goblins suspected that something was amiss in the Light Fields. When the brownies followed not long after, the goblins wondered if the faeries would be next.
Following at his father’s heels, watching with wide-eyed curiosity, the Bog Prince listened to the brownies’ stories of faeries who just wouldn’t listen, who thought themselves so far removed from the other species. He listened to the elves’ warnings of a mad king, of tournaments and taxes and harsh laws.
Then he saw the stubborn determination in the eyes of the elf boy not much younger than himself. “My best friends are stuck in the palace,” the boy said, “And I gotta get them out!”
“Without even knowing how to fight, lad?” Bog’s father asked with an amused look. “Yer not liable to get far. Who are these friends that have ye ready to plan invasion?”
“The princesses,” answered the elf innocently. “And I don’t need to fight by myself as long as Marianne is there.”
The Goblin King drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He seemed to be mulling something over in his mind as he stood and left. Bog shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. It seemed pretty straightforward to him! Their enemies had just deprived themselves of allies and even the heirs to the throne were against them. Wasn’t that the perfect time to strike?
“Hey, er,” he said to the elf boy with a painfully awkward attempt at a grin, “If you…if you still wanna invade the faerie kingdom, I know some goblins that could help. We just have to make sure Brutus doesn’t eat anybody. He’s been known to do that.”
Sunny gulped. “O-okay. He won’t try to eat me, will he?”
Bog shrugged. “Nah, I’ll tell him you’re with us. Anyone else want to go to a party?”
Three brownies and a broad shouldered elf raised their hands. Well maybe new neighbors wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
“Reputation precedes me, the rumors are knee deep…”
People are making so much fun of her dating life that I really see no point in stunting anymore. I know she has an album and tour to sell, but she won’t sell much more with these stupid stunts. I was really hoping that she won’t touch Joe so that she can easily deny the rumors later.