she got balls

Vodka

This is sorta lame and cheesy, but it’s basically just a fluffy Imagine about Tom being a cute boyfriend and taking care of his drunk girlfriend💗
Author’s Note: This is a oneshot inspired by sorta me? My mom had a party and made a ton of mixed drinks, and because I’m a dumb baby that never drinks, I forgot that vodka literally punches you in a face when you drink too much of it? Anyways, I got drunk and ended up crying to one of my cousins for about 40 minutes about all the reasons why I love Tom? Apparently, I’m even more cheesy and sentimental drunk than I am sober, who knew lol?

Vodka
She giggled to herself, ankles knocking into each other as she braced herself on the door of her apartment. She was absolutely, completely, and undeniably smashed. Truly, she couldn’t even remember how she’d gotten this way, but then again, she could barely recall her uber ride home.
Her hands kept shaking and she couldn’t find the correct key to fit itself into the doorknob. At this rate, she’d be out all night.
Tom paused the film he was watching and glanced back towards the front door. He was pretty sure that he could hear someone out there, but it was probably just their neighbor’s being noisy. Allowing the film to regain his full attention, he did his best to ignore the strange sounds outside, until he heard something that replicated her giggle.
His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. She was supposed to be at a sleepover with her best friends, not coming home at one in the morning? Tom got up and made his way over to the window by the door. Peeking out, he saw that the giggle outside indeed belonged to her, and she appeared to be struggling hugely with the task of opening the door.
Quickly crossing to help her inside, Tom yanked open the door and barely had time to catch her as she crashed in on top of him.
“Tom!” She yelped excitedly, making no effort to move off of him, instead cuddling further into him, while he laid sprawled across the floor with her lying on his chest. “Do you wanna hear a joke? It’s so dirty and I know how you love dirty things!” She explained innocently, her eyelashes tickling his neck.
Tom chuckled, “Darling, come on up here. We’ve gotta close the door.”
“Okay, I’ll tell you!” She leaned over him, “What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?”
“You’re absolutely wrecked.” Tom laughed, taking in her mussed up appearance. She still looked good, how could she not? Her skirt was just shorter, her breasts were more exposed than she’d be comfortable with sober, and her eyemakeup was slightly smudged. Her hair tumbled down her back in messy waves and she teetered on her high heels.
If she had come home sober, Tom would’ve dragged her off to bed with him, but alas, she was drunk and needed to be taken care of.
“She gagged!” His girlfriend giggled, finishing up the butt of her joke. “Do you get it?”
Tom burst out laughing and cradled the back of her head as he rolled her onto her side so that he could get up to lock the door. “Yes, baby, I do. Where’d you hear that one?”
She didn’t even seem to have registered what he asked her because, in response, she said, “I don’t think I’d be Cinderella if I was a disney princess. She gags, but not me. I don’t gag, unless you make me.”
“Oh my gosh, you’re going to be so embarrassed in the morning.” Tom said, slipping his hands beneath her arms to pick her up. Helping her down the hallway to their bedroom, he asked, “Darling, how come you’re not with your friends right now?”
She blinked her eyes slowly and licked her lips. “We were all talking, and drinking. So, so, so much drinking. Did you know that vodka is strong? Like, it’s so strong, because, I’m not sure if you can tell, but,” She leaned closer to his chest and pressed herself up onto her tippy toes to whisper in his ear, “I’m kinda drunk right now.”
Turning his head towards her, he decided to play along, “Are you serious? I’d had no clue.”
“Well, yes! Anywho,” She dragged out the last letter of anywho before she tripped over herself again.
Tom caught her and slipped a firmer hand around her waist. “Anywho?” He pressed.
“We were all talking about our boyfriends, and how much we love them, because, I love you so much. And then, we started talking about the stuff we do with our boyfriends.” She paused in the hallway to poke Tom’s chest, “That’s my favorite shirt on you.”
“Darling, I’m not wearing a shirt?” Tom said, cocking his head to the side.
“I know,” She smiled, “That’s why it’s my favorite.” She gestured to Tom’s exposed midriff, “This is all great. Like, you look so good. The best.”
Tom dissolved into laughter and shook his head, “My silly, drunk girl. What are we going to do with you?”
“Well, you see, what I’d like you to do with me is make-out. That’s really why I came home. We started talking about some things,” She cupped her hand around Tom’s ear and whispered, “Sexy time things. And we all agreed that I should come home to you so that we could do the sexy time things. Because, I wanna do them, with you.”
Finally crossing the threshold of their bedroom, Tom placed her gently onto the bed and tried to ignore her last statement. Yes, she was his girlfriend. Yes, she’d just told him that she wanted him, and yes, he obviously wanted her too. But, she was drunk, much too drunk to consent to sex with him.
Tonight, Tom would be a good boyfriend and take care of her, but, in the morning, Tom would be a good boyfriend and he’d give her at least 2 orgasms with 2 advil pills to chase away her headache before breakfast.
“Sweet girl, we can’t right now. You’ve been drinking too much, you’re absolutely wasted.” Tom tried to reason with her.
“No, no I’m not. If I was drunk, could I do this?” She took a deep breath, “‘May I feel said he/ (I’ll squeal said she/ just once said he) It’s fun said she/ (May I touch said he/ How much said she/ A lot said he) Why not said she.”
Tom cut her off, “Sweetheart, nothing you say matters right now, you’re too drunk. Now just let me help you out of that dress.” Shaking his head, Tom laughed as he walked over to her with an oversized sweatshirt of his in his hand. Only she would be able to quote E.E. Cummings completely inebriated.
Kneeling in front of her, Tom lifted one of her feet onto his lap to unbuckled her high heeled shoe. Undoing the clasp and carefully removing the heel, he pressed a tender kiss to the top of her foot.
“You know, I like it a lot better when you’re on your knees for a different reason.” She pouted, sitting up to watch him.
Tom chuckled again as he began to remove her other shoe, “Trust me darling, so do I. Roll over-” He didn’t even get to finish his sentence when she interjected.
“Are you gonna spank me?” She asked, rolling over. Her tiny dress had ridden up even more and Tom had to bite down on his lower lip and clasp his hands together to prevent himself from doing just that.
“You’re making this really difficult.” Tom muttered.
“Then do something about it. I thought bad girls got spankings?” She teased him, eyeing the hardness growing within his pajama bottoms.
“Stop it, I’m trying to take care of you and you’re making it really hard.” Tom groaned.
“I can tell,” She giggled.
“For fucks sake,” Tom rolled his eyes, “I’m going to help you out of the dress, and that’s all the touching I’m going to do tonight. Then, I’m going to take off your makeup, and you’re going to go to sleep.”
“Tom,” She whined, wriggling around on the bed, “I don’t wanna. I want you to do me.”
Tom laughed, “You’re going to die in the morning, oh my gosh. You’re such a child.”
“Ugh!” She whined and flattened out onto the mattress.
Sitting down behind her on the bed, Tom rolled her over and unzipped the back of her dress. He did his best to not look, but the zipper kept getting caught in her hair, and he couldn’t ignore the soft skin of her back. He saw that she’d chosen to wear the pretty, light pink, lace bra that she’d been wearing the first time they’d had sex. Groaning over the memories, he helped her rid her body of the confining fabric of her dress and had slid his sweatshirt over her body.
She turned to lay on her back, “Will you at least kiss me?”
“Yes,” Tom placed a soft kiss on her mouth, “Do you wanna get up to go to the bathroom to take off your makeup, or do you want me to do it for you here?”
“Hmmm, here.” She sat up and stuck her hands inside of the sweatshirt, only to toss her bra off seconds later.
Tom’s eye lingered on her chest as he got up to retrieve her makeup wipes.
“I love youuuuu.” She said, hugging herself to his chest after Tom had successfully cleansed her face of all traces of makeup. “You’re my favorite, even though you refuse to fuck me.”
Tom tucked the duvet under her chin and crawled in behind her. He kissed her temple and curled an arm around her, “I love you too darling.”
He prayed to the high heavens above that she wouldn’t feel his excitement poking her in the back while she drifted off and into dreamland.

8

NMB48 5th Anniversary Concert: Yuri Theatre

↳ SayaMomo moments

ororo: i’ve only known kurt a day and a half but if anything happened to him i’d kill everyone in this room and then myself

8

Miss Marple’s balls as a snooping sleuthing tactic

bearlytolerable  asked:

For DWC: Human Emma explaining gravitation to Solas. Bonus if she provides examples.

For @bearlytolerable and @dadrunkwriting sorry if this little drabble was less sciencey than you were hoping for, but character wise I don’t think Emma would know a lot of the technical and in depth explanations, not about that at least.  So I went with a way she could show him that I figured most people in our world would be aware of ;).  

Emma crossed her arms over her chest as she leaned back on the corner of his desk.  At least he was sitting so she didn’t have to stare up at him as she spoke.  She always managed to hold her ground well enough but that didn’t mean it was particularly easy when he was towering over her.

“Solas, why would I lie about this?  I’m telling you if you drop a ball of steel and a ball of wood that are the same size they will both land at the same time.”

He gave that huff of indignation he did so well, “That is preposterous.  You are… what is the term you use?  Pulling my leg.”

“It’s gravity.”  

“You can make up as many words as you like—”

“Ugh, I am not making up words.  If I were to jump down from where Dorian is—”

“Why would you—”

“I wouldn’t just… I’m giving you an example.  So, shut it.”  She waited to see if he would resist but he simply leaned back in his chair, steepling his hands before giving her a nod.  “If I jumped from where Dorian is I would fall and land here right?  I would not simply float, correct?”

She paused and when he didn’t speak she raised a brow.  He copied her expression before saying, “Oh I apologize, I thought I was to shut it.”

“You. are. Impossible.”  She straightened and started out of the rotunda.  “I’m going to talk to Ivy before this turns into a thing.”

There was no more talk of it until several days later, at which point she had completely forgotten the conversation.  Emma was out working in the herb garden when a shadow fell over her.  She looked up, covering her eyes with her hand, to find the familiar lank of Solas looking proud of himself.

“What’s with the—”

“I have the balls.”

She paused, tilted her head, “I’m sorry, you have the what now?”

“Your balls so that you may show me this theory of yours.”

“My… what?”

The smile fell and his brows furrowed, “You have forgotten already?  One wood and one steel.  This thing you were talking about… gravity, was it?”

“Ooohhhh,”  Understanding dawned on her and she stood, wiping the dirt on her leggings, “You actually had them made?”

“Yes.”

She couldn’t help when the corners of her mouth twitched up, “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.  Come, let’s find somewhere to drop them where we won’t hit someone in the head.”

They found themselves up on Skyhold’s fortress walls in a corner without any traffic.  They would go unobserved and not risk hitting anyone in the process.  Solas glanced down as he felt the weight of the balls in his hands.

“You want to drop them or shall I?  Either way it is key they are dropped at the same time.”

His eyes came up to meet hers and he smirked,  “What shall we wager?”

She laughed and shifted putting a hand on her hip, “Oh I don’t think you want to do that on this one.”

“I believe I do.”  He played at thinking on it for a moment before he said, “Loser will be bound and winner may do what they wish to them tonight.”

She raised a brow, “You want to tie me up?  Or do you want to be tied up?  Either way, this seems like it is a wager where we both win no matter.”

He continued to smirk, but his attention shifted to look down at the ground below, “It is agreed then?”

“I agree.  Are you dropping them then?”

“Why?  Would you rather my balls be in your hands?”

At least she managed to keep the giggle down that threatened to bubble out, “This is science and should be taken seriously, now get to it.”

“Eager to lose are you?”

“No.  Eager to win actually.  Then I can have my way with your balls as much as I like.”

A chuckle as he held both hands out over the edge, “Impatient, woman.  On the count of three then?”

“Very well, one. Two. Three.”

He opened both hands at the same time and they both watched as the two balls fell to the earth.  At the same speed.  Directly next to each other.  Until they both fell into the dirt giving out little puffs into the air on impact.  At the same time, as she knew they would.

“Well,” a pause, “that was… unexpected.”

He was looking down at the ground still and she reached out.  Her fingers brushing along his jaw and forcing him to look at her, “Tell me Solas.  Should I use leather bindings or silk?”

Inheritance characters sorted into Hogwarts /Ilvermory

My headcanon for if they were sorted into Hogwarts/Ilvermory. Sorry if I spell things wrong, it’s been a while since I’ve read/seen the harry potter books/movies. Let me know what you think!

Eragon: 

Hufflepuff/Wampus

I was originally going to put him into Gryffindor, since he’s brave and one of his main characteristics, but I thought that he would fit better into Hufflepuff, since alot of things he does is for his friends and family. 

Saphira: 

Gryffindor/Horned serpent. 

Saphira may be a warrior, but she is also very wise, especially for her age. I sorted her into Horned Serpent because of it.

Roran: 

Ravenclaw/Wampus

Roran is incredibly smart, thinking u strategies and stuff, rather quickly becoming a commander, sure, hes very brave and like Eragon, I wanted to put him into Gryffindor, but thought better of it.

Katrina: 

Gryffindor/Pukwudgie

Katrina was kind of hard, since I do not know as much about her as the others. I put her in Pukwudgie because she very much seems like a healer, comforting the boys agt several times. But she got balls. I will fight anyone if they think she isn’t brave. 

Murtagh:

Slytherin/Thunderbird

Murtagh is unbelievably cunning, and know very well how to handle himself in situations, being able to move his way arounf Galby to get to Nasuada. I also have a feeling that he is the adventurous type as well, thus putting him in the Thunderbird house.

Thorn:

Hufflepuff/Wampus

I don’t know a lot of Thorn either, but he always seemed to me like he was a very sweet dragon, longing to be free. Thus I put him in Hufflepuff.

Arya:

Slytherin/Horned Serpent

Arya is very cunning and rebellious, she is also smart and skilled as hell, need I say more?

Fírnen:

Ravenclaw/Thunderbird

Fírnen is very smart, and also long for adventure. I don’t know much else about him, so I just went with my instinct.

Nasuada:

Ravenclaw/Wampus

Very smart, warrior at heart, Shes a born leader, wich takes smarts, but a lot of guts.

Elva:

Slytherin/pukwudgie

Cunning, smart, tricky, but also a healer, forced to feel their pain but willing to help them if she so desires. 

Oromis:

Hufflepuff/Horned serpent

Sweet guy, but the smartest you will ever meet. I was going for Ravenclaw, but decided against it, I found it too obvious, Of course, he was the wisest, but also very sweet.

Glaedr:

Ravenclaw/Wampus

He’s an old dragon, of course I went with Ravenclaw, but he’s a warrior as well, I have more than one reason to belive he is.

Angela:

Slytherin/Horned serpent

Smart af, brave af, good in almost everything. mysterious, cunning…


Sorry for the long post, here is my drawing of Thorn with a flower crown again