she couldnt take care of him

Zack Taylor, M.D.

A lot of people have Kimberly pinned as the one with all the medical knowledge and the one always patching up the team, but consider:

-When Zacks mom got sick, Zack spent countless hours reading through any medical books he could get his hands on

-At first he was just looking to understand what the doctors were saying

-Then he started reading up on home remedies because medicine is expensive and he couldnt afford it all the time

-After a while his interests broaden and he starts reading articles and journals and textbooks just for fun

-And he’s actually really smart. The only reason he doesnt do well in school is because he doesnt put effort in and its just not that interesting to him

-Trini finds out first when she visits him one day and finds him with his nose stuffed in a med book and three others lying open on his bed

-She figures it makes sense because hes been taking care of his mom for so long that he was bound to pick up a thing or two

-She just didnt realize hed pick up more than that but she’s not really surprised

-She likes to tease him for being a huge nerd sometimes when he starts talking, quite animatedly, about groundbreaking research he just read six articles about or a new medicine being tested, etc.

-The rest of the gang find out later and more gradually
-After every battle its Zack who patches the team up and its Zack who explains what hes doing and why he needs to do it and how it will help his fellow ranger heal faster, stronger, and more safely

-They all get him something medical related for his birthday
-Billy buys him a book on emergency medicine
-Jason gets him a flash-card set on medical diseases and cures
-Trini somehow manages to get him a really big med kit, the heavy duty ones that doctors and EMTs use at disaster sites (When asked how she got it Trini just smirked and said she had ‘connections’)
-Kim’s mom is a doctor for the hospital nearby so Kim is able to snag some of her moms extra supplies (a stethoscope, an extra white lab coat, and a mountain of latex gloves) (Zack has his mom stitch his name into the chest pocket. He wears it evertime he takes care of his mom)

-Med school isn’t an option for him but he does go to college and eventually becomes an EMT
-(He has his mom stitch his name of the cuff of his sleeve, even though his name is already on the front, because it means more to him when she does it)
-(And when his mom passes, he’ll look down at his name on his sleeve and smile thinking of her)

I love how close Alex and Nicolas became over the course of the series because it starts off with Nicolas keeping his distance from Alex and it was pretty obvious in Alex’s perspective. I also want to remind everyone that Nicolas was the one who suggested that he should kill Alex so they wouldn’t get in trouble? I’m not sure how to define how they think of each other but their views of each other have certainly developed.

She thought she was just “there” and it was pretty awkward, especially since she couldn’t communicate with him very well.

Poor nicolas is running up the stairs and(WHOOPS small mistake, thank you @raimagnolia who pointed out that’s worick running up the stairs, not nic..) theres even a translators note saying how “nicolas doesnt like being in the same place with a girl”

even if you don’t ship nicolex, this post focuses on their character development

Keep reading

Clay Jensen rant

Did ??? People even read the book??? Listen I hate being one of those “if u dont read the book u cant even comment” bc thats bs but series Clay isnt much different anyways. If anything more attached to Hannah but…. he didnt do anything wrong??? Like he did (the picture he leaked of the stalker and all bc of his anger) but not to Hannah. This is a guy who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks and whose best friend just fucking died and to some extent I bet he blamed himself when he thought he allowed his friend to drive drunk. Obviously when Hannah said leave he would leave bc SURPRISE people with anxiety fucking hate confrontation and if someone u really care about screams to you “GT THE FUCK OUT” his reaction was obviously gonna be to leave, let her cool, and try to talk later. Bonus points for him if he tried to avoid the screaming afterwards and at least try to pretend things were better with her because thats REALISTIC FOR PEOPLE WHO SUFFER FROM REALLY BAD ANXIETY. All he did was never truly confess his feelings because damn she was never just a friend. He always liked her. And confessing feelings is never easy especially for people who suffer from anxiety. Hence why he would push her away from time to time and doubt whether she wanted her to be with him. Not because “Hannah’s fault” or anything but because people with anxiety are constantly doubting people’s love and intentions for them. Always doubting whether others actually care or if they got bored with them. So yeah. Maybe Clay could have stand up for her and take more action. But from his PoV things werent that bad for her atm and he couldnt mentally do it. So many of you say “he redeemed himself” no he didnt. Theres nothing to redeem for tf?? Him feeling guilty is the fucking worst bc he truly does not deserve to feel guilty when hes mot guilty of shit. Yes the sings are clear but that doesnt mean people are always able to do. From someone who has been depressed and has dealt with depressed people around her, sometimes we just dont know what to do and the only person able to save themselves once depression hits you is the person itself. Once Hannah was bad because of all the things that happened to her, Clay or anyone noticing might have call a professional but the only person who would truly convince her to live would be herself. Stop. Blaming. Clay. Depression and suicide isnt black and white and isnt always someone’s fault. The whole point of this show and book is to show that is a bunch of stuff accumulated and how we deal with them.

Clay not noticing she was depressed doesnt mean he killed her. Clay not going against her wishes of being alone doesnt mean he killed her. Clay not wanting to talk about his best friend’s death (something he prob feels partially guilty for until he found out the truth) (plus also lad at the memory of him) and lashing out on her doesnt mean he killed her. Him not noticing doesnt mean he killed her. It means he liked her so much, even loved her. But he was also going through his own shit. And if hannah never talked directly to him how was he supposed to know?? A best friend’s death isnt a little deal. Is a big fucking deal. He suffers from anxiety and panic attacks (mental disorders my people) and his best friend fucking died. Thats traumatic af he saw his body there. And even before that, he was getting to know Hannah so is not like he would not whats her usual behavior and whats not. Yes he could have done something if he had realized. But him not realizing didnt kill her. Hannah even said so herself.

So stop saying he redeemed himself or that he did take part into her decision of killing herself or he was also at fault. He wasnt. Even Hannah knew that. Stop romanticizing his anxiety and self-blamed behavior bc if anything all this unjustified guilt was driving to the place Hannah was. So liking or thinking he deserved all that guilt is literally 1) not getting the show/book and 2) romanticizing his bad mental health and paranoia


(requested by anon)

Kai Parker x Reader
word count : 4 998
summary : Reader has feelings for Kai and tells him but he rejects her which leads her to become a vampire and turn off her humanity just as Kai comes back a new person after the merge.
* gif by shelleyhenign


“You don’t get it , do you?” said Kai with a little hint of amusement in his voice.”I dont feel emotions , I don’t care or feel anything. Emotions are nothing but a distraction plus I don’t even like you and even if those things werent true - you and me still would never happen. You are just not good enough for me. Why would I chose a human ?”

Kai’s words kept echoing in her mind. Having the person you have feelings for turn you down was not something unheard in human history , but doing it the way Kai had done it – her feelings had gotten hurt so badly she wanted it all gone. All the love she felt for him , all the pain - absolutely everything. Her friends didnt know about her feelings for Kai or about what had happened and Y/N didnt plan on letting them know either meaning compelling it away wasn’t an option. So that left her with option number 3 because clearly moving on wasnt going so well either. Becoming a vampire hadn’t been on her bucket list , but it was her only option and she could already hear the lectures from Elena and Caroline. They’d say how lucky she is to be still a human and be able to have a future , kids and a family. But those things just didnt matter to her if she couldnt have them with the person she loved. Kai wasn’t going to change - he will always be the same , so there was no point in waiting for the impossible either. He will always say whatever pops into his head , not caring what his words or actions do to the people around him simply because he had no emotions. Why should she remain a human ?

It had been a few days since Christmas and the siphoner had been safely tucked in into Alaric’s apartment on Whitmore campus until Jo was ready to do the merge. All her friends were taking shifts guarding him just in case and that day it was her turn. Y/N sat on the couch , glancing at him every few minutes refusing to go anywhere near him. There was a part of her that was 100% sure she’d pull out that tube from his arm and let him go. What she felt for him was so strong that even after he hurt her , she’d still free him and cross her friends. What the hell was wrong with her ?!
   "Hey Y/N. How is our comatose patient?” asked Damon handing her a cup with coffee. “He hasn’t caused any trouble , has he ?”
   "Comatose and no.” she said blankly, taking a sip from her coffee. What kind of a trouble can he cause if he is being unconscious ?
   "Whats wrong ?”
   "Nothing. What makes you think something is wrong ?” she wondered , trying to sound as normal as possible. Damon knew her too well not to pick up on her tells not to mention the way he was studying her face made her feel a little nervous.
   "Because I know you and short answers are not what you do.” said her best friend , lightly rubbing her shoulders. “Usually you dont shut up. Sometimes you are even more annoying than him.”
Y/N sighed. “I was just thinking how all my friends are supernaturals and wont age while I will turn into a wrinkled sag in a few short years. Its depressing. And of course there is that time at the corn maze when my human friends were all dying and I couldn’t do anything to help.”
   "You know if you want me to , I’ll turn you. Even though after that Elena and Caroline will bite my head off.“ said Damon sitting on the couch next to her.
Y/N started laughing. “They would wouldn’t they?”
   "Yeah. Look Y/N ,  there was a reason we tried to find the cure for Elena.“ he said calmly. “Being a vampire is not all that is cracked out to be and if you make that choice there is no going back.”
   "I’ve already made the choice Damon. I want this.“ she said serious. “You , Stefan , Elena , Caroline — you guys are not just my friends , you are my family. I love you all more than I can put into words and I cant imagine ever being without any of you. I want us to be together forever.”
Damon tucked up his sleeve and bit his wrist. “Well , if you are absolutely sure.”
   "I am.“ she replied taking his wrist , feeling his blood trickle down her throat for a few moments until she let go. He wiped away some of it from her chin with his thumb , still having doubts about what he had to do next. Y/N was his best friend , one of the few who can put up with him and were always willing to defend him even when he makes huge mistakes. What if turning her into one of them was one of those ?
   "Promise me , you will explain to Elena thats what you wanted and I didn’t push you into anything?”
   "You got it.“ she smiled. “Um … could you do it painlessly ?”
   "Of course , but I have to ask again - are you sure , really really sure ?“
Y/N nodded and a few seconds later Damon broke her neck , letting her lay down on the couch. He went to the kitchen to get a blood bag from the fridge to be ready for her when she wakes up , but somehow he couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong and she hadn’t been completely honest about her reasons. When he came back Tyler was in the room , pulling out the tube with the sedative from Kai’s arm. Not too long after , Tyler was the one laying on the ground unsconcious and the young siphoner regained consciousness. On their way out of the house he stopped pointing at Y/N and glancing at the blood bag on the coffee table.
   "What is she doing here ?” he asked curious. “Is she sleeping ? Awwh look how cute she is now that she is not talking. I might even like her now.”
Kai took a step towards her but Damon pulled him away before the siphoner had figured out Y/N wasn’t breathing and had put two and two together.
   "Y/N? She was keeping an eye on you and you bored her to death.“ said Damon dragging Kai out the door. “Come on creeper. You want to do the merge , you have a deal to uphold."Not too long after that Y/N woke up , finding a blood bag on the coffee table waiting for her. The girl grabbed it without hesitation and completed the transition noticing Kai wasn’t where he was supposed to be and that this wasn’t the only thing that was off in that moment.
    "Tyler?” she said getting up and running towards him, checking for pulse. “Oh my God wh-what happened ?!”
Her eyes followed the tube in his neck and she pulled it out sitting on the ground next to her lifelong friend. What had happened after Damon had snapped her neck ? Damon. Y/N’s eyes widened and she reached for her phone in her pocket dialling her friend when Tyler groaned and started to wake up.
    “Hey , are you okay ? What happened ?”
    “I’m going to kill him.”
    “Him ? Who ? Kai ?”
    “No. Damon.”
Y/N looked at him with confusion in her eyes. “Damon ? Wha-”
    “I have to go. I’m sorry Y/N , thank you for pulling that tube out but I have to go now or Liv –”
    “Y-yeah of course.”
Y/N sat on the floor running her fingers through her hair , watching Tyler run out of the apartment when her phone buzzed - DAMON.
    “What the hell did you do ?” she said answering the phone.
    “Saved Liz’s life.” he said as if it was obvious. “I take it you completed the transition?”
    “Yes ? Why ?” she wondered.
    “Because we have a psychotic siphoner out on the loose. Kai gave me the slip.” he sighed. “Come over at the hospital. I’ll explain everything.”


After the merge with Luke , Kai had found himself in a situation he had never thought he’d be in. During the merge with his brother he had absorbed not only his ability to do magic but quite a few other things including his empathy. He had spent the entire night after the merge trying to figure out how to process all the emotional pain he felt. Every bad thing he had ever done came back into his mind and her regretted , if not all , at least most of them. Kai had no idea what was happening to him or why there was water pooling in his eyes while he kept writing it all down , including a letter to his twin Jo because for some reason he couldn’t find her. Afterwards he went to Damon to ask for help to deliver the letter to his sister.
Kai talked for a while with Damon and Elena and then someone else he had been wanting to see showed up , as if he had wished for it to happen - Y/N , the only person who had shown him some kindness among the Mystic Falls gang. About a week ago she had told him she has feelings for him and he had said some really hurtful things to her and he wanted to make it right.
Y/N stopped right at the door when she saw he was there. Kai couldn’t help but smile a little seeing her there though there was something different about her and he couldn’t understand what it was. Her hair had a blue strand mixed with her curls and her outfit nearly knocked him over. Last time they had met Y/N had looked hot , now she looked beyond hot wearing a slightly baggy ripped jeans with sneakers and a plain top.
   "Oh hey Y/N. I’m so glad you are here.“ he said getting up from the table. "I wanted to talk to you.”
   "Yeah. No , sorry. I have exams to study for.“ she said with a blank expression. "Can I go grab some of — you know ? Downstairs ?”
   "Why ? Did you get tired of – ?“
   "Y/N, please , I have to tell you something. I am s-” he blinked and she was gone. Kai turned around towards Damon and Elena with a look of confusion on his eyes. “Where did she go ? What – What did you do to her ?”
   "Haven’t done a thing. Y/N just doesn’t like you. None of us do. Haven’t you taken the hint already?“ said Damon.
No. That wasn’t it. Y/N might not have told her friends about the feelings she has for him , but Kai knew this girl couldn’t hate him. It just wasn’t who she was - he had gotten a good sense of her. Y/N was too good for her own good , too kind and too forgiving. Something was wrong.
   "The blood bag. You turned her.” thought Kai out loud. Why did he feel like his entire world has crashed and burned right this moment? “Why would you do that to her ? Was she hurt or something ?”
    “Because she asked me to.” said Damon. “Though that backfired. I should’ve seen it coming -”
    “Backfired ? What do you mean by that ?” interrupted Kai. “Damon. Tell me now or I am not going to help you.”
Damon took a sip from his bourbon. “Y/N turned off her humanity and turned into one of the biggest problems I’ve ever had.” said the vampire. “One thing I can’t figure out is why she’d do this right after she turned.”
Kai gulped. He knew exactly why - because of him. Another rush of guilt pulled him under at the realisation. There had to be a way for him to fix this and he was going to fix it , no questions about it , but first —
    “Where is the Ascendant ?”


Y/N was at the rave at Whitmore, having fun with Caroline who had just turned off her humanity too because of her mother’s death. Both of them had fun dancing and feeding , though Caroline had invoked a rule - no victims so they don’t attract attention. Y/N didn’t care much about that , or about anything really. Only thing she seemed to care about blood.
    “That guy keeps checking you out.” said Caroline pointing at one of the guys , not too far away from them. “He hadn’t taken his eyes off you the entire night.”
    “Maybe he is looking at you.”
    “No , no. It’s definitely you.”
    “Well then , I better go meet him.”
Y/N turned towards her friend with a smile and purple / black veins flashing under her eyes. Slowly she made her way through the crowd until she got to the guy. Her hands automatically hooked around his neck and they started dancing to the beat , almost in perfect sync and then out of the blue he kissed her. It felt weird not feeling a thing while making out with a hot guy like him, well almost nothing until Y/N’s vampirism kicked in feeling his blood pulsating in his veins.
    “You are not going to make a sound.” she compelled him , sinking her fangs into his neck the next moment. Not too long it felt as if every blood vessel in her head was exploding and she backed away from the guy , having her neck snapped a split second later.A couple of days later  Kai convinced Damon to bring him over to Bonnie who had found her way out of the Prison World , so he can apologise to her and after that hadn’t gone well he had started losing hope anyone would ever forgive him for anything. Right before the vampire had pulled him away , Kai had spotted Y/N in the crowd , ditching Damon straight away to get to her. Y/N had looked hot before but now wearing those black boots and those tight black skinny jeans with a white top with a skull like print on it , she looked even hotter. Quite literally taking his breath away the way she jumped up to the beat with a blue strand in her hair dancing around her shoulders. Last thing he wanted to do was cause her anymore pain but he had no other option if he wanted to grab her and find a way to turn her humanity back on — and maybe find a way to reverse her vampirism turning her back into a human.
After her body started to drop , he caught her and carried her to his car and then to his apartment , putting a boundary spell around it before cloaking himself and sneaking into Alaric’s apartment to ‘borrow’ some of his vervain supply.

A few hours later Y/N woke up tied to a chair with vervain ropes. Her surroundings were unfamiliar but she got an idea where she was when a familiar face popped right in front of her. Of course. Who else would be stupid enough to get the drop on her ? Under other circumstances she probably would’ve rejoiced to have Kai standing barely a metre away from her but not in this moment. There wasn’t a trace of emotion left in her.
  “What the - ” she wondered , struggling to get herself free, groaning in pain more and more each time as the vervain stung on her skin.
   "Hi.“ grinned Kai. "If you keep struggling , you will only get yourself hurt , Y/N. I just want us to talk , that’s all and then I will let you go.”
   "Charming. Do you always tie up the girls you want to talk to ? Or do you do that just to the ones you know can’t stand you?“
  "I tried talking to you the other day , remember? You ran off before I had said a word to you.” he said blankly. “So , you are a vampire now. Why would you do that to yourself?”
   "I had my reasons which do not concern you.“ she replied continuing to struggle against the vervain ropes.  Y/N had been a vampire for a few days but already hated vervain more than she thought possible. Kai had tied her ankles to the legs of the chair too making sure she couldn’t move even if she wanted to.
   "Did you do it because of what I said ?” he asked.
   "So full of yourself.“ she said a little amused. "Not everything happens because of you Parker. Why don’t you let me go and we can maybe go grab a bite somewhere ?”
   "Not letting you go until you turn that switch back on.“
   "Funny. Why have you taken that upon yourself ? Did Damon roped you into saving his best friend from ‘the biggest mistake she had ever done’ ?” she asked blankly. Seeing Kai like that was different - maybe because she was different or maybe because he had merged and according to the billion messages Damon had left her - he had feelings now. His eyes were filled with worry , sadness and regret. He looked almost broken.
   "I care about you thats why.“
   "You care about me ? Do you even hear yourself ?!” she said incredulous. “I dont feel emotions , I don’t care or feel anything. Your words , not mine.”
Kai got up from his chair , going to pour himself some coffee and Y/N used his distraction to pull on the ropes again with all her strength ignoring the pain from the vervain. A few seconds later she was free and quickly she ran towards the door , opening it and bouncing right off it the next moment.
   "What the hell?!“ she wondered , her hands hitting the invisible barrier over and over , pointlessly trying to get through it. Y/N sighed and turned towards him. Kai was  grinning at her while taking a sip from his coffee as if he hadn’t done a thing. A boundary spell. Should’ve known. she thought to herself.
   "You are not going anywhere sweetheart. Not until we talk and you turn that humanity switch back on.”
   "I’d rather kill you than talk to you or see you or be in the same room as you.“ she said through gritted teeth , whooshing herself towards him until their bodies were barely an inch from each other. "Let me leave now , or I you die.”
   "You won’t kill me.“ he said calmly.
   "Owhh ? Are you counting on my feelings for you to kick in at some point? Because they won’t. They no longer exist and as far as I am concerned neither do you.” she said with a mocking look on her face , seconds before purple black veins flashed under her eyes and her teeth sank into his neck.
Kai dropped his coffee on the ground , trying to push her off. Truth to be told he had been expecting that maybe seeing him would get her to flip the switch back on. He had heard multiple times that love is the strongest force there is and blah blah even though he didn’t understand any of it and he hadn’t expected her to actually try and kill him.
   "Motus.“ he muttered , sending her flying off him almost hitting the wall at the other end of the room. "Dang Y/N , maybe Damon was right. I didn’t want to believe him at first but you have lost everything that made you who you are by flipping that stupid humanity switch. You are not this person.”
Y/N wiped his blood of her chin and launched at him again , dropping on the ground with a spectacular witchy headache a split second later. Now she knew why Damon was always in a horrid vengeance mood after those. It felt as if every blood vessel in her head popped all over , healed and popped all over again.
  “I am going to kill you.” she said through gritted teeth.
  “No. You won’t.” he said calmly , taking a step towards her. “I am going to get you to flip that switch back on and then I will find a way to reverse what Damon did to you.”
  “Don’t — waste your t-time.” she struggled to speak. “I don’t n-need fixing.”
Y/N kept struggling to get to him and somehow break his concentration but he wouldn’t stop. He placed his hand on his wound healing it with magic wondering who was this person in front of him ? Surely he hadn’t been the nicest person ever , specially to her but — Kai couldn’t stand seeing her like this , though he had to admit her being a vampire how made her even hotter in his eyes than before. He closed his eyes hearing her scream and groan in pain rolling on the ground for a few moments before he stopped the spell and he knelt down next to her , brushing his fingers against her cheek.  
   "You are not this person Y/N. “ said Kai taking a step towards her. "You are kind , caring - ”
   "You still are.”
   "Please Y/N. I am really sorry about what I said and did that day.” he said gazing into her eyes. They were so cold and empty it broke him in half. “I didn’t see it back then but now I do and I know it is my fault you did this. I was a idiot , the biggest one rejecting you.”
   "Finally. One thing we can agree on.“ she said sitting up and starring at him blankly. There was no way he’d actually think any of this and even if he was , that wont make her flip it back on. Wont change what he made her do or erase all the pain he caused. Y/N leaned in towards him , brushing her palm against his cheek giving him a small smile. For a moment he smiled too , thinking probably somehow he had broken through the tough exterior or at least had made a crack.
   "You are pathetic.” she pit. “I am bored. Do you hate a deck of cards somewhere?”
   "Fine then. We do it the hard way.“ he said getting up, breaking her leg in the next moment. "You are going to turn it on now or I will keep breaking and breaking cuz – sweetheart , we both know I am the actual monster here.”
Y/N screamed in pain rolling on the ground but before she had had time to heal Kai flicked his wrist and her leg broke on another spot and another. Something in her mind started pushing its way through hearing his words. A flicker of  emotion , but she shoved it back where it came from before it had crawled its way out of the black door in her mind.
  “Turn it on.”
Kai flicked his wrist again breaking her other leg and her arm. He couldn’t stand what he was doing to her. Every flick of his wrist only added more to the guilt he already felt. What was he even doing ? After all of this there was no way she’d forgive him , ever.
  “Keep breaking Parker.” she started laughing. “It will be even more satisfying when I get to rip your head off after that.”
  “You are the best thing that has come into my life and I was so blind not seeing it back then.  I can’t live with the guilt of everything I did to you.”  his voice breaking. “I didn’t even know guilt can drown you without actually drowning you. It keeps me up at night -”
Y/N wasn’t listening. Instead she was running scenarios in her head on how she’d get her revenge after that , not caring that would mean Liv’s death or Jo’s death. Not giving a damn about how Alaric would react to losing his future wife and his unborn twinsies. Not caring what Tyler would do to her if his girl dies. Kai knelt down on the ground next to her , studying her face. His eyes were so different in that moment - filled with tears, pain and regret.
  “Kill me.” he dared her, stopping the spell. “Come on. Kill me.”
Y/N caught her breath laying on the ground. “You are bluffing.”
  “Rip my heart out.” he dared her again getting on top of her , placing her hand on his chest. “Put me out of my misery because I can’t live another second with the guilt about everything that I’ve done to you. Or to Jo or Liv. Or even Bonnie.”
Kai’s heart was racing so fast it felt as if it was trying to leap out of his chest and then a tear rolled down his cheek which he completely ignored. Their eyes were locked on each other and none of them was willing to look away from the other.
  “No.” she shook her head, pulling her hand away from his chest. “No , you deserve to live with it eating you away for the rest of your pat-”
Kai didn’t let her finish. There was one thing left for him to try , hoping that maybe it would get her to turn her humanity back on. He pinned her hands on either side of her head and his lips crashed against hers , hungry and demanding , pulling the air out of her lungs. At first she struggled trying to push him off her which only made him kiss her harder until she stopped struggling and returned the kiss. His grip on her hands loosened and she tangled her fingers in his hair , both of them moaning into the kiss until Kai pulled away , resting his forehead on hers.
  “I should’ve started with that.” he said out of breath , gazing into her eyes. “Please tell me it worked.”
His heart was racing faster than ever , still feeling her lips on his. Y/N just stared at him and a few tears rolled down her temples. “Get off me. Now.”
Kai’s face darkened but he did as she asked , rolling onto the ground next to her. He had hoped this would flip the switch , he hoped it had flipped it back considering how she had kissed him back. How it was possible that it hadn’t worked ?!
  “What did I do?” she muttered , covering her face with her hands. “Oh my God what did I do?”
  “Y/N?” he turned towards her. “What are you talking about ? Hey , talk to me.”
Y/N shook her head refusing to say a word and then it hit him - her switch had flipped back on and every emotion had came rushing into her mind. Kai removed her hands from her face , pulling her into his embrace. He knew exactly how she felt in that moment because he had experienced the same thing a few days ago.
  “I’m sorry. I am so sorry Y/N. It’s all my fault. I was an idiot , I am an idiot who hurt you so many times and led  you to do that to yourself , but I am going to fix it. I promise. I will find a way to fix everything.” said Kai , kissing her forehead. “I am so sorry and I know I don’t deserve  your forgiveness but I need you to give me one more chance to make things right.”
Y/N’s mind was racing like crazy - what was she thinking becoming a vampire. Turning off her humanity and shutting out everything that made her who she was ?! All those people she hurt , the ones who got killed because she couldn’t handle rejection. Tears were streaming down her face so fast it was pointless to try and stop them.
    “I know you hate me and you have every right to… I will spend every day until the rest of my life trying to make up for everything.”
Kai waited for her to say something , to stop crying  holding her tightly towards him. Slowly rocking back and forth trying to calm her down.
  “I bit you. Oh my God , I bit you..” her hands covered her face. “All the things I said. Everything I did.”
  “It’s okay. It wasn’t you , I know it wasn’t”
  “I am so sorry.” she cried turning towards him. Kai was crying too.
  “Does that mean you w-will you give me one more chance? I promise I will find out a way to make you a human again and  — maybe we can have a future – together. ” he wondered , wiping away a few tears from her cheeks.
   "Y-you want me to be a human ?” she said through tears. “But you said -”
   "I was so blind and ignorant , not realising what I had until I lost it. Please Y/N , give me one more chance. Just one.“ he pleaded.
Y/N smiled at him. "One more chance. D-don’t screw it up Malachai.”
Kai grinned at her , usually he’d have other reaction to people calling him by his full name but not with her. He loved the way it had rolled off her tongue , like its the most special thing in the world to her.
   "Wouldn’t dream of it.“ replied Kai , kissing her again.


while my father was ill our sister and I took care of him until it was so bad he had to go to the hospital,where he spent the rest of his days on a machine and eventually passed. it was gruesome..i remember once he threw up nothing but blood in the bathroom and i stood all night cleaning it crying on the floor. my sister did the same at a different point, we took turns. we did a lot of other stuff for him too, he couldnt do things on his own he was in a lot of pain. but i remember my sister crying next to me, my eyes were glassy too, and she asked to no one in particular, “hes supposed to be taking care of me, why is it like this?’ i have an afflicted sun in the 12th and pisces midheaven, she has neptune in the 4th and an afflicted pisces sun…indicative of taking care of an ill father, a father who embodied neptune, and an absent/lost father. neptune is substance, addiction, illness, madness..he was ill because he drank, he drank because he was depressed. neptune father  

Theory (maybe?)

After analyzing for a bit i feel like i noticed something about rika and ray/saeran. Anybody remember how rika somewhat treated saeran in previous routes and how she treated “ray” in this route? I feel a bit uneased at this and i couldnt not write something about it.

We all know that in Vs route rika seems to treasure ray as a member of mint eye. We’ve seen how she shows care towards him and worries about him. Heck we’ve even seen how she cried for him when he died and begged for the members to mourn him. Rika loves ray and put her trust in him for her plans

Now lets take a look at her attitude towards SAERAN. As many of us know rika brainwashed and manipulated saeran to do whatever she wanted. And it seems thats the only value he has for her. Not only was she planning on replacing him once she had a grip on seven, without regarding saeran hatred towards him, but she was also willing to kill him off!!!! If you remember jumins bad ending where you leave jumins penthouse and are taken back to the apt where saeran waits for you there. And then he says that he was told to press a button that would “cause seven eternal pain” or smth like that. And it turns out, without saeran even knowing, he activated the bomb and killed everyone there!!!!

Maybe this isnt a theory as much as it is an observation. My theory is that she only likes ray because hes more quiet and reasonable, where as saeran is much more violent and angry. Idk but its still pretty messed up. And it makes rika even more of a hypocrite, seeing as she only valued “ray” instead of saeran himself. She made him that way and i cant help but feel disgust at her actions.

cheers-love-the-cavalry-s-here  asked:

Howdy:D i have just read your previous works and i love them, they are amazing!:3 If you have time for it or you find this an interesting idea, i would love to see a companions + romanced companions react to Ryder sacrifice him/herself for the safety of his/her friend/love one. Like on the Archon's ship but with full loyal friends and full romanced love ones, and the death would be definitive. Getting a deadly shot or something like that maybe? Anyway keep up the good;) Stay strong and clear!

And of course, my first reaction would be sad
-Mod Di
Cora: No. NO. NO! It wasnt supposed to happen like this. Ryder wasn’t supposed to go down protecting her, it was supposed to be the otherway around. Her job was to keep them alive, and she failed. She failed, and her heart died with them.

Jaal: Full blown tear fest. He’s not even understandable, just a giant blubbering mess of anger and saddness. His heart clenched,and it hurt so bad. Worse then learning of the history of the Angara, worse then anything in his life. When he gets back to the Tempest, he lockes himself in his room, and when the rest of the team finally gets it open,he threw everything around, weeping in a corner.

P.B: This-this is a joke right? Right? Ha,ha Ryder, now come back. Please. PLEASE. It isnt funny anymore. In all 100, give or take, years of her life shes never felt a sting like this. She let her guard down,and Ryder payed for it.

Drack: Damn. He knew it. He knew this would happen. He’s seen to much,lived to long. He always outlives the ones he cares for. He told himself was nothing, it was apart of life. But it didnt keep him from hurting, or his last heart from breaking. He went into a heartbroken blood rage, plowing everything in sight.

Liam: Slow. Everything was slow. From the bullet, to Ryder’s fall. He couldnt take it. He broke. Everything they’ve ever done, everything they will ever do crashes down on him. He drops to his knees and cradles them,holding then close and praying this was all a dream. A really horrible,vivid dream. And then he’ll wake up on that old dusty couch, terrible Turian films playing in the back ground. But he doesn’t. And it isn’t.

Lexi: She sees Ryder fall, and is on autopilot after that. Examine, dress. Pray. Not breathing. CPR.Pray. Not Breathing. Frantic CPR. Pray. Not breathing. Static. All she hears is static.

Gil: Nearly passes out himself. No. Not how this was suposes to happen. He and Ryder were supposed to grow old and playpoker. He was supposed to stick with them,no matter what. He was supposed to be the cool Dad/Uncle. But he isnt. Not any more. Gil shutsdown,after that, stoic,broken. Normally a quiet Gil would make everyone ecstatic, but not like this.

Suvi: Shrieking. Nothing but shreaking. And screaming. And crying. Suvi’s heart broke, as well as her voice, and several of her science experiments that she thew against the wall. She lockes herself in her lab. Not even Kallo can get in.

Kallo: Probably held his composer the longest. Also most likey beause he couldnt even prosess it. Ryder couldnt be dead. They couldn’t. They were to stubborn to die. Too headstrong. Anyday now,they’d come galivanting in the cockpit, anoying him and/or flirting with Suvi. Any day now, he was sure of it. And everyday that passed, he became less sure,until finaly he just stops, and everythung crashes down. He’s hurt and he’s shaking, only one thought in his head. Suvi. He needed to find Suvi. She always makes things better. Always.

Vetra: Oh. Hell. No. She gets 100% pissed. At everything. At the culrpit. At Ryder. At herself. She fired at the enemy. Long after they’re dead. Long after she runs out of ammo and her guns over heat, because its all she can do. Some one will physically have to take the gun away from here, but not without getting pistol whipped a few times in the prosses. Then she just murmurs,quietlty to her self, holding her head in her hands. Nothing can help. No one can help. Not even Sid. And for the first time, Sid is the one taking care of Vetra.

My Family’s Keeper

AN: Thought about this for a while and finally decided to write it all down. Mentions of past child neglect, child abandonment, and spousal abuse. Sorry. I do hope you will enjoy


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Just a small thoughts for this episode. It was such an incredible episode. I couldnt take my eyes of a second. 

Okay, I know they are believer of Gods, or still love Jeanne. But isnt it to unfair to want your King die? Murderer or not he was still a great King to them. What if they are gonna do if their King die? What if Demons will attack them, But Gods wont help them. Are they gonna pray for Gods again and want them to help them. 

My dear cheerful Nina, you are in your escape and your crush is in battlefield. But what you are gonna concern is that your crush’s beautiful word that want to dance with her?

 I cant believe she was dancing in her escape xaxa. This one proves that Nina dont hate Charioce, also she consider that she want to dance with him again. It isnt my thought, that was definitely implied in that scene. Nobody can convince me otherwise. 

Gods and Humans fight? Or Gods overpowering Humans? It wasnt likely a fight. But really great 5 minute. Ost and animation were so amazing! I couldnt take my eyes of. Btw why most Angels or Gods look same?

We know that he held such a strong power in him. Also it might be harm to him. But Charioce doesnt really care what that might do to him as long as to beat the Enemies. Such a strong man.

Well, Charioce is biggest important character in this series he will not gonna die most likely. Maybe he will lose in the battle. Tbh he is one of the characters that moving forward this series. So until his story revealed, until his end of conflict with all these Gods and Demons, or squads. He will not gonna die. But can i still concern about that?

Also it was truly incredible not just Humans are hold such a power but they are making them with their mind is truly proud of. I wonder it can be at least same power as Mugaro. Not to mention it wasnt still produced.

It was such a great to squad united. Kinda forced situation tho But whatever. 

Okay, what does that mean “ A Farewell to Arms” , like really? It made me too much concerned in the next episode. 

It seems it implied released by something that bind him/her. Maybe it is talking about Charioce. 

Yo! Plus Charioce looking good and badass in that armor. Woo why you always look so good.

Btw why was he holding his arm like that?

The Other Guy

Bucky Barnes x Reader x Chase Collins

Bucky sat at the dining table, sipping his coffee, and eyes glued to his laptop. He was determined to keep his eyes off a certain couple sitting at the living room.

(Y/N) laughed yet again at something that guy said, and Bucky clentched his jaw in iritation.

What does she even see in him?!, he thought. The guy had an arrogant look on him, and not to mention a handsome face.

Bucky glanced their way, and saw (Y/N) typing into her laptop, and the guying sitting too close to her, saying something.

He was too engrossed in watching them that he didnt notice the person who had joined him on the table.

Steve smirked, seeing his bestfriend in this state, and cleared his throat to make his presence known.

Bucky almost jumped at that, and quickly regained his composture, and looked back into his laptop.

“Whats the matter, Buck ?” Steve asked.

“What ?” Bucky asked, looking at Steve.

Steve raised his eyebrows, and grinned at Bucky.

“Who the hell is that guy ?” Bucky asked, giving up.

“Thats Chase Collins, (Y/N)’s friend from college” Steve informed him. “They’re on some assignment together”

“I dont like him” Bucky said, and both the guys turned to face the couple, again.

“(Y/N) doesnt seem to mind” Steve said, shrugging. “I think they’re just friends”

“Obviously, he’s trying for more” Bucky murmured, sulkily.

“Buck, Im telling you again” Steve said, exhaling loudly. “You should tell her how you feel !”

“I cant” Bucky said, his metal arm clutching at his cup tightly. “Why would she want me ?! Im the fucking Winter Soldier ! ”

And, his feelings got the better of him, crushing the cup in the process.

* * *

(Y/N) jumped up from the couch hearing a loud cracking sound. She turned to see Steve and Bucky sitting at the dining table.

Bucky’s eyes were tightly shut, and the pieces of the cup, on the table.

(Y/N) rushed to Bucky’s side, relieved to see that it was only his metal arm.

“Are you alright, Buck ?” She asked, touching his shoulder.

She felt his body going rigid on her touch.

By now, Chase was on her side.

Bucky hummed in response.

“I’ll just clean it up” He said in a small voice, not looking at any of them.

“No, just leave it there” (Y/N) said giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I’ll do it”

She looked at Steve and said, “Why dont take him upstairs ?”

“Yeah” Steve, already on his feet and grabbing Bucky’s arm. “Come on, Buck”

* * *

(Y/N) watched as Steve led Bucky to the elevator. She wished Bucky gave her that kind to freedom to hold him, or touch him.

He was always so unsettled and quiet around her. He didnt seem to like her much.

Chase touched her hand, bringing her back to reality.

“(Y/N) ?” He said, in a soft voice.

“Yeah ?” (Y/N) looked at Chase, who was smiling at her.

“You love him, dont you ?”

“What ? No. I dont.”

Her heart was running on a marathon right then, threatening to burst out of her chest.

“Yes you do” Chase said, taking her hand in his.

“He doesnt” (Y/N) said. “He just doesnt like being around me, Chase ! Hes always running away from me ! He never looks at me ! I dont know what to do !”

“Calm down !” Chase said, his hands on her shoulders, holding her in place.

(Y/N), was breathing heavily, trying to calm her mind. There was a storm happening in there, and the only person who could calm it down was not ready to help.

“Have you tried talking to him?” Chase asked.


“Why not ?”

“ ‘Coz he wont stay in the same room as me for like five minutes” (Y/N) said bitterly. “Let alone have a conversation about my feelings. You saw him right now, wont even look at me !”

“Maybe he’s nervous” Chase said.

“Why should he be?” (Y/N) asked, looking at Chase.

Chase shrugged.

“Look, if I hadnt seen this today, I would’ve asked you out” Chase said, giving her a genuine smile. “I think he feels the same way you do. He was bugged that we were spending time together”

“What ?! How can you say that ?!”

“Well, its a guy thing.” Chase laughed. “We were both kinda studying eachother - leaving that aside - you should go, and talk to him”

“Chase, Im afraid, what if he shuts me out ?” (Y/N) said, closing her eyes.

Chase cupped a hand on her cheek, and she opened her eyes.

“Well, thats his loss” Chase said, laughing again. “Im here. If he hurts you, im right here”

(Y/N) laughed, pulling Chase into a hug.

“Thanks, Chase” she said, witha smile. “You’re a great friend”

“I know” said Chase smugly, and started packing his things. “See you in class tomorrow. We’ll finish the assignment then”

(Y/N) nodded, and walked him out.

* * *

(Y/N) knocked on Bucky’s door.

“Bucky ! Please let me in. I have to talk to you” she said, kocking again.

She heard footsteps, and the door opened, revealing Bucky. He was wearing a gray round neck tshirt, and apair of black shorts, his hair done into a messy bun.

“Can I come in ?” (Y/N) asked, carefully.

Bucky nodded, moving aside to let her in.

He stood by the door, not knowing what to do. He watched as she played with her hands nervously.

“Close the door ?” She asked.

Bucky obeyed, nervousness creeping in again.

“Im sorry about the cup. I didnt mean to disturb you and your friend” Bucky said, eyes fixed in his shoes.

“Was nothing” (Y/N) said, shrugging.

Bucky nodded.

“Dont you like me, Bucky ?” (Y/N) asked, all of a sudden. “I mean, why dont you talk to me ? Did I do something ? Or say something ? ‘coz I really dont understand ! I didnt mean to come in here, and attack you, but you really dont leave me a choice !”

Bucky stared at the girl with wide eyes.

“Of course I like you ! ” Bucky said, suddenly feeling a sense of confidence filling himself.

“I adore you, actually” He said, now breathing heavily, hands on his hips. “I have for a long time. Since that day Tony introduced you to us. When he said you’ll be living with us. Since then.”

(Y/N) stared at Bucky, open mouthed.

“Why wouldnt you tell me ?” she asked.

“How would I ?” Bucky asked, as if the answer was obvious. “Im an assasin. I’ve killed innocent people. And you are related to Tony Stark ! And luckily I managed to kill his parents too. So thats a bonus !”

“Bucky, you didnt do any of those things” (Y/N) said weakly. “You were brainwashed. You didnt know”

“But I did.” Bucky said, his head bowed in shame.

(Y/N) ran to him, taking his face in her hands.

“Bucky, you are one of the most beautiful people I’ve known” She said. “And since the day Steve told me all about you, I’ve loved you. I love you, Bucky ! I dont care who says what. I know you. I trust you, and thats all that matters”

“Tony would never agree” Bucky said, his hands moving around her waist.

“Well, he’ll come around one day”, (Y/N) said, a small smile creeping into her face.

Bucky couldnt help but smile. He leaned down to press his lips to hers. They kissed, and kissed again. And again.

“Um, Buck ? One question ?”

“Ask away”

“Why did you break that cup ?”

“That friend of yours, he was getting on my nerves” Bucky said, blushing. “I think he liked you”

(Y/N) giggled, kissing him again.

Originally posted by caps-bucky


                                          LOVE & MARRIAGE                                                    


After years of following in the footsteps of their relationship shadow, Bucky and his wife offer Steve a small getaway to the cold mountains. Getting to know the the new woman in his life, they realize a change in their own lives . Come to find, it dawns on the married couple just how much time and marriage has changed their once passionate relationship - How will they react to a now new hot couple taking their place on the mantle?

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She knew she was in trouble. They remained silent for a further 10 minutes whilst he drove them - where? She had no idea. He slowed the car to a stop at the side of the road. He turned to her “now, you’re going to suck masters cock and prove to me how sorry you are. Show me how much you love having a hard cock in your mouth”
She shuffled back in her seat, nervous about being caught, biting her lip so hard the faint metallic taste of blood was appearing in her mouth. He grabbed her by the hair, her eyes widened. He pulled her across his lap, pulling her panties down and spanked her hard. “Do as you’re told you little slut, make master proud” he pulled her head back then pushed her face towards his throbbing, hard cock.
She wanted to make him proud, she wanted nothing more than that. She pressed her soft lips over his tip and began swirling her tongue around him, savouring every lick and taste. She was starting to become wet, she felt overcome by this desire to satisfy her master, she started to suck his hard cock and she loved it, she couldnt stop. She didn’t care if they were caught, ‘let them watch’ she thought. She could hear how much he loved it, she was almost in control she could feel it, before she had time to fully experience this control he grabbed her hair and pushed her head down, forcing her to take every inch, lodging himself in her throat, he began to fuck her face like the worthless slut she knew she had become. He let go, and she continued at the same pace he had guided her to. “Good girl” he breathed. A clump of hair fell in her face, she paused lifting her head to adjust. In that moment he grabbed her head forcing her mouth back to his cock “i didn’t tell you to stop.” He growled, slapping her cross the mouth “sorry sir” she just managed to gasp before her lips were plunged back around his hard dick. She sucked his cock, rolling her tongue around his shaft. She was loving it, she embraced the little slut that she had now become. She wanted nothing but to serve her master.
He ordered her to stop, holding her head just above the tip of his freshly sucked dick, she begged him “please sir, i love having you in my mouth, please” he slapped her face “oh, i know you do” he smirked. She stared at him wide eyed. “Lick it” he commanded. She did as she was told, not stopping until he was forcing his cock back in her mouth, she sucked his dick harder and harder, swirling her tongue faster and faster, she wanted to taste him. He gripped her hair and she knew. She massaged his cock with her tongue while his warm cum filled her mouth, she swallowed and began to lick her masters cock clean, she looked up at him and smiled “thank you sir” she giggled, slowly sitting back in her seat.
He let out a deep sigh. “Good girl. You’ve made master very proud” and in that moment, his hand gripped her dripping little pussy….

One Direction BSM : You Fall Asleep On a 5sos Member (Requested)

(Sorry for the different lengths)

Zayn: Zayn had the rest of the boys plus the 5 seconds of summer guys over for a party that was still going on late at night. You had made your way inside and decided to keep it calm and put in a dvd to watch and maybe fall asleep to. About ten minutes into the movie, you felt someone join you. “Care for some company?” It was Calum. “Sure.” He sat down close to you and as the movie went on, you felt yourself moving closer and closer to his side and before you knew it, you were dozing off with your head in his lap. “(YN)!” you heard a loud yell and almost came out of your doze when you heard Calum quiet him down. “She fell asleep a while ago, i just dont’ want to move in case she wakes up.” “Ahh, cover her up, i don’t want her to get cold and by the way, Calum?” “Yeah?” “Told you she liked you too.” Calum glanced down at you with a grin and patted your hair away from your eyes. “You hear that, (YN), or are you just going to pretend that you slept through that?”

Louis: “Do you guys have to be so loud!” you holler and the voices of the nine boys quieted down. “Sorry, (YN), forgot you were studying!” “Yeah, keep it down!” you say, “I’m already struggling enough with math as it is” “Math?” you heard Luke and turned around. “Yeah, it’s my worst subject.” “One of my best, want help.” “Louis, you okay with that?” “Sure, just don’t let anything else happen, i’ll be checking up on you two!” Laughing, Luke joined you with your homework. “You seem to have this down.” He says inspecting your work on your bed and you laugh. “I know, i do. I just wanted you alone, i missed you. You never talk to me.” You pushed him down and laid at his side, just resting there. “I miss being able to do this, Luke.” “Me too.” He says and when Louis came up to check on you two, you were both asleep, your head on his chest. “Yeah, you really studied.” Louis muttered going back to join the other boys.

Harry: The tour was really taking it’s toll on you and you were currently sick on the tour bus. Harry stayed with you whenever he could and when he couldn’t, he had one of the 5sos guys come in and stay with you and every time, it was Michael. “How’s miss sicky doing today?” He laughed, seeing you on the couch, curled up in a warm blanket, some cheesy chick flick on the tv in front of you. “I want to die.” you say and cough some more. “Sounds like it.” He lifted your head up and set it on his lap before massaging your temples. “That feels amazing.” you say softly, finally relaxing some more that some of the pain was going away. “Good. You should sleep now, i’ll still be here when you wake up, i promise.” “Why is it always you coming over?” you ask and he smirks. “Because i always volunteer. You’re a fun person to be around, i suppose you’d be funnier when you’re not sick, but for now, this is alright.” You didn’t laugh back as you had fallen asleep and Michael chuckled to himself. “Or maybe i’m the funny one. So funny you fall asleep to me.”

Niall: Somehow Niall had gotten you to be an extra in the next 5 Seconds of Summer music video and you got to be Ashton’s love interest. In between takes of the video, you’d lounge around with Ashton and it got to the point where the video had been filming all day and you were getting tired. They called the two of you to set one more time, you filmed the scene and as soon as the director called cut, you nearly fell and Ashton caught you in his arms. “You really are tired aren’t you?” “I wasn’t joking.” you mumble into his jacket and he just laughed, bringing you to one of the dressing rooms they had near the set and placed you onto the couch, about to leave himself. “Where are you going?” you ask and he stopped. “I was gonna let you sleep.” “Don’t leave me alone.” you pout and he shakes his head, sitting in front of you and you growled. “No, up here!” “You sure?” “Niall’s not here so yes i’m sure!” “If he kills me, i’m coming back to haunt you.” He says and you grin. “I’ll see you then, Ash, but you’re still not going anywhere now.”

Liam: You had just gotten off the flight that was going to let you stay and visit your brother, Liam, while he was on tour. The time difference didn’t take long to take control of you and the entire cab ride to their current hotel you were fighting back sleep. Once you entered the hotel, you only saw the 5sos boys, not the one direction boys and your brother. “Where’s Liam and the guys?” you asked and three of them shrugged while Calum didn’t have a clear answer either, but he was actually going to respond. “Probably in the studio or something. You alright? You look tired.” “Just got off the plane and i was already tired before i got onto the plane and now, it’s just, i want to sleep, that’s all i want to do and i can’t do that til Liam gets back now, great.” “You can lay here next to me, i don’t mind.” “You sure?” you ask and sit next to him, laying down. He nods. “Yeah, you’re not bothering me any, sleep.” It didn’t take long for sleep to get you and when you did, your head slipped onto Calum’s lap. “She still not bothering you?” Luke asked and Calum looked down. “Nope. Wait, she’s Liam’s sister1” “And?” “He told me i couldnt date her!” “I lied, she looks comfortable, just be careful with her.” Liam said walking in and going to his room.

Psycho!ashton || FINAL


sensitive content so do not read if triggering to you or not comfortable with reading…


part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven

You didnt know what to say, but you didnt feel the same, of course not. You were suffering because of him, almost dying and there was no turning back from that. But maybe if you played along, you could escape.

Every minute you stayed locked in that room made you a little more insane. There was nothing to do but think, staring at the graffiti covered wall not trying to loose your mind. But sitting in the corner of the room with thick rope around your wrist and ankles restricted from doing anything. How could you not loose your mind?  

It was more terrifying  that Ashton actually cared for you, checking if you were okay rather than to hurt you, at least you knew you werent going to stay here long. But now it seemed impossible to leave, or to at least die. But you made a promise to Alissa to get her out and that was going to stay.

The amount of pain on your wrist was unbarring as you kept trying to break loose only causing rope burns. You scrapped the rope with a broken piece of glass found on the floor, the shard would sometimes cut you wrist causing a deep wound. Ignoring the pain you continued to mess with it. Ashton could come back any minute and so you hurried on with it until it snapped then going on with the ropes on your ankles. 

Everything was spinning when you got up off the floor, wanting to pass out, but you pushed past the pain slowly heading to the metal table, seeing if there was anything you could use to defend yourself.  It was just metal trays of small scalpels, needles and drops of blood which was probably yours. 

Nothing that was helpful really but a small box on the edge that was cracked opened that caught your eye. You slowly lifted the box taking a peak, gasping in shock on what you were looking at.  A small silver handgun with a grip.  You couldnt help but to wonder why he had this in the first place, maybe he was going to use it on you which was horrifying.  You didnt want to kill Ashton or anyone, its out of line. But what else was there? You had to protect yourself someway. You took a look of the gun making sure that the safety was off and to seeing if the chamber had any ammunition. Only three out of eight bullets there which was enough. 

Keys were  being heard unlocking the door and you panicked placing the gun behind you stepping back against the wall. Ashton came in throwing the keys on the table, he look up at you completely shocked that you were untied. “How are you-”  he paused thinking about it. His fist clenched clearly irritated at the fact that this happened. Your heart skipped as he stepped closer to you his jaw clenched, tears fell down your face holding the pistol tight behind you. You didnt want to do this, but you had to. “Get away from me!” you warned before  pointing the gun at him but he didnt listen. There was nothing left for you to, you had to do this. 

You pulled the pistol out aiming it at his chest, you hands shaking in fear whimpering. Ashton backed away with his hands up, seeing you aim the gun at him. Deeply confused to what’s going on. “y/n” 

“Dont.” you warned seeing him walk closer.  He backed up a step speechless at what you were thinking of doing. “I thought you-” 

“What? That I loved you.” you scoffed, cutting him off. “For god sake you kidnapped me and my friend to torture us and you think I’ll love after all that?Do you have any idea what you did!” 

“I told you. I’m sorry.” he begged. “I wasnt lying when I said I loved you. I would have let you go but-i know you would tell someone about this.” 

“So you planned on having me stuck here until I died?” 

“Fine-I’ll let you go if you want.” he stammered, his voice cracking seeing how fearful he became seeing you with that thing. Yes you wanted to leave but you didnt want him doing this to other women, you couldnt let that happen. “Bye Ashton.” pulling the hammer back making his wince closing his eyes. 

“Y/n, please dont do this. I-love you.” he hiccuped, seeing tears coming down his face. Seeing him so helpless had an effect on you, your chest tightening up feeling sorry for him. But then remembering all the things you did you could care less. 

“I dont.” pulling the trigger once. Ashton gasped once before he was on the floor, a pool of blood beneath him seeing him lifeless, expressionless. It was traumatizing seeing him like that and you doing that to him. You stepped over his body walking out the door pretending it never happened, even when you wanted to throw up. 

You had no idea where Alissa was or if the blonde guy was here. You held the gun close to your hip carefully walking the barely lit hallway. Your breathing becoming heavy feeling your whole body shake. You jumped turning the opposite way when you heard footsteps pointing the gun. “Woah.” it was him, Luke his hands slightly up. “Alissa, where is she.” you demanded. 

“I dont think that matters anymore.” he scoffed with a stupid smirk.”Yeah she down that hall in the last room, she wasnt strong enough.” he said causally. You couldnt believe how cocky he was acting like it was some sick joke. “What did you do to her!” 

“I did a lot. Guessing she couldnt handle it.” he shrugged, “Its too bad, I liked her.” 

Luke was more sick than Ashton, at least he cared a bit but Luke was psycho. You felt awful for Alissa going through what she did but maybe it was better for her if she didnt have to suffer anymore. “I dont believe you-” you stammered. 

“Go see for yourself then.” he said pointing over to the room. “How did you get out your room anyways without Ashton seeing you?” 

“I-uh.” you paused still in shock. “You killed him! Wow didnt expect that out of you.” genuinely surprised but not shocked like it was nothing. You couldnt take it anymore, you wanted him dead too. He didnt deserve to live anyway. So you did before he had a chance to react to it. 

Luke was right, Alissa was there laying on the concrete floor completely still. Her blonde hair covering her pale sunken face. This couldnt be, it had to be some sick dream. Seeing your best friend lifeless on the floor like that, no one should have to go through that. 

Your knees became weak, your mouth slightly open as tears spilled down your ace. You dropped to the floor letting the gun slip out your hand. You sobbed seeing her like this pushing the hair away from her face. You promised to get her out, that everything was going to be okay. 

If only that promised stayed. 

Two years after: 

You were living a nightmare everyday. Hearing the same gunshot over and over, seeing Ashton lie there in a pool of blood and Alissa’s pale body on the concrete floor. You couldnt get more than two hours of sleep having the same nightmare again and to waking up thinking you still stuck in that room.

You were suffering with ptsd and depression, and every week you went to see you therapist. At one point you had to stay at a mental hospital until they considered you ‘better’.

You never told the story to anyone because you didnt want people feeling sorry or you or to this your brave for ‘doing the right thing.’ This was meant for you and no one should know about it. The only person who knew was your boyfriend Michael. He understood and tried to help any way he could to make you happy. He knew what you were going through, but some things you werent willing to tell him and he knew that. 

But memories couldnt leave your head, and the voices were starting to take over. You just wanted the thoughts to go away. 


You stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, getting ready for bed. Brushing your teeth and taking your anti depressants with some others. “Babee, come cuddle!” Michael whined from the bedroom. “I’m coming!” trying to act normal as possible with tears running down your face. 

I just want them to go away! 

The memories wouldnt go away and could hear voices of Ashton in your head. Alissa still crying for help. They had to go away. You glanced at the half empty pills in the orange bottle. Without any hesitation you opened the white cap, dumping all of pills in your hands taking them all. Then going for the next bottle doing the same thing. 

I just want them to go away! 

And for the first time you felt happy not having to hear the voices anymore. You didnt belong in this world anyways. You wiped away your tears, hiding the empty bottles in the trash bin, joining Michael in bed. His arms wrapped around your waist and your head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat playing with his colored hair. You were going to miss him, the memories of what you had together and how he was the only person who cared for you. You gave him a kiss, one last time, your cold lips touching his with tears falling down your face, knowing this was the last time. “Babe whats wrong.” he asked sitting up slightly. “I just-wanted to say I love so much Michael.” 

Michael smiled back kissing your forehead, “I love you too y/n” wrapping his arms around your body silently drifting into sleep in your arms and you slowly drifting away from the world. 

A/N: you didnt expect that to happen huh? 

[ @trulydaehyun ]

Mijoo was the most energetic member between nine muses, she was always hyper and trying to cheer up everyone but for some unknown reason she was feeling really tired today. However she couldnt sleep, she would need someone to take care of her at least for today. Maybe she was getting sick and she didnt even noticed it. She looked up at Daehyun and gave him a sweet smile. “Oppa.. I love your voice, could you sing me a lullaby?”

anonymous asked:

Imagine the RFA members + V reacting to a fatally injured MC? imsorry

im going to cry how could yoU -707

  • zen would rush to their side, clutching mc’s hand in the hospital. he would stay by their side until he heard the flatline, and then he wouldnt know what to do with himself. he’d smoke a lot more. drink too. he’d ride his bike carelessly. he’d stop acting and stop eating. he’d cover all the mirrors in the house because he hated his own reflection since he was here and they werent.
  • yoosung would probably be the most affected out of anyone, but he’d try and play it cool. like “hey, second time’s less painful.” but god, he would stop going to school all together. he wouldnt sleep for days, and would spend most of his time in bed. he’d start thinking there was a common denominator with both rika and mc’s death. was everyone he was ever going to love, die? it seemed so. maybe he should just never love anyone ever again. it would stop a lot of pain.
  • jaehee would take a leave of absence. she wouldnt tell anyone, not even jumin, where she was going. she’d just leave a note saying she was leaving and would be gone. she wouldnt have anywhere in particular she wanted to go, but would instead take a bus to a random place and find a local bar. and drink. she’d drink and drink until she couldnt stand. god, how could this happen? why did she let them go by themself? it was her fault. she was the one who deserved to die. not mc.
  • jumin would spend as much money as he could putting mc in the world’s best hospitals and getting the world’s best treatment, but it still wouldnt be enough. when they passed, his whole world would crash down around him. money really couldnt solve everything, could it? within the next week, elizabeth the 3rd would be dropped off at yoosung’s house with a note saying “please, take care of my baby.” a large check would be written in jaehee’s name with a note telling her to find a better job and that she will do great things. a similar check would be written to zen, the note telling him that he always admired him, even if he spent so long denying it. he’d also apologize for being such a prick to him. seven would receive a framed photo of elizabeth and a note telling him to stay away from her. and finally, v would simply get a note saying that jumin was sorry and that he was to choose what happened to the business. then jumin would vanish.
  • seven wouldnt be able to handle it. he wouldnt. he’d do his best to crack jokes and be his normal self, but he couldnt. why was it mc? they didnt deserve it. they were the most important person in his life and they didnt deserve it. it should have been him instead. if there was a god, he would have never done this. seven threw his necklace away without a second thought.
  • the normally cool, collected v would break down. he’d scream. he’d cry. he’d curse the world and heavens. this shouldnt have happened. mc didnt deserve this. he’d clutch a polaroid of mc every night. it would be soaked with tears and crumbled from holding on too tight. 

i can’t get over how grateful danny was to see kirsch handle her rejection in a way that made their friendship even better like you can see how much she genuinely cares about her friends and you can tell this whole dynamic was Stressing Her Out yknow? when she had no place to stay she essentially chose going to her ex over staying with kirsch because she wanted to avoid hurting him, she couldnt justify the thought of using kirsch’s feelings to her advantage, and i guess she just assumed that whatever friendship they had would be rocky at best once she turned him down (the same way things between her and laura were uncomfortable after she turned danny down) 

but then kirsch takes the whole rejection in literally the best way possible and you can actually see the relief on her face when she goes in for a grateful hug

basically long story short: danny’s a goddess who cares too much about everyone, kirsch is about the best friend she’s got right now, and i wanna fight every guy who has ever contributed to danny’s assumption that guys dont want anything to do with her once they realize she doesnt like them