she always has this gettin real tired of your shit expression

Oh God. This has been in my drafts for AGES. I mean, it was like buried under 20 other drafts full of useless crap. Maybe I should finish it now. Okay… here goes attempt number two at finishing this endless thing.

So I took my sweet, sweet time reading this book, and now it’s over. And despite the content ending I just. I AM NOT READY. Like no. What.

Let’s recap, shall we?

Part One

Opens with Emma and Julian and CUTIES. “Put a Mark on me, Mark.” And Ty. LOVE IT. So of course my reaction is

JAAACCCEEE. MY BABY. I love banter. It makes me so happy. So I’m just like

Poor baby Alec. Oprah and I feel for you man. Break-ups are hard.

THE SEXUAL FRUSTRATION. 

Or so I’m told.

DTR already, everybody is super tired of Sizzy looking like this when we ALLLLL know how both of you feel.

MALEC.

Sad thoughts about unmendable broken hearts.

Emma in awe of Clary and Jace. And pep talks. And askgfdlks.

“If you’re Jace Lightwood’s girlfriend, you should have a better sword.”

CLACE. CONSTANTLY.

Sebastian. Always with the raising Hell shit. Like

“Oh, you know. Killing.” You. Are. Too. Cute. (Is that weird? No. It’s not.)

SIMON. CAN YOU STOP GETTING CAPTURED. PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

Sebastian. He loves mornings. They are full of possibilities.

Catarina. Gettin’ real. Speakin’ the TRUTH.

Poor Julian. 

Weapon shopping! BEST. DATE. EVER. And it’s a Morgenstern blade. Like giiirrrl. EMBRACE AND RESTORE THE AWESOMENESS OF YOUR SHADOWHUNTER HERITAGE. 

Simon, Simon, Simon. Always a pleasure, even when you are in a life-threatening situation or locked in a cage.

Important moment. And then, Jace. Forever self-doubting.

(In case there was any confusion, I am the baby.)

Ah yes. More danger. More ignorant Shadowhunters. This whole progression of scenes. I just. 

Onto a lighter topic. Simon’s concern for Raphael ruining his romantic “game” with Izzy.

Once again. Fucking Sebastian. Really, dude? Really. My response to all of your messages:

 

Lord Montgomery. 

Poor Alec. Such terrible luck. I imagine him like…

Sizzy moment.

I understand her reasoning, but damn if Jocelyn doesn’t wear on my nerves sometimes.

“Awkward boy-pats.”

Jocelyn dressing Clary in horrible pajamas - “The pajamas of vengeance.”

Jace being a pain in Brother Enoch’s ass.

Jem and Herondales. Jace and Jem bonding. 

But then, sad parabatai thoughts.

And then Jace: “Weapons, when they break and are mended, can be stronger at the mended places. Perhaps hearts are the same.” I. JUST. CAN’T.

Drunk Simon. He only knows the dreidel song.

Sebastian in Clary’s room… NOT COOL. Dude is creepy as fuck around her, like I know you don’t seem to understand what love actually is, but I also don’t think you want the right kind of love from her. SHE IS YOUR SISTER.

Oh shit. Fucking faeries.

Jace. All badass, but then crazy-ass Sebastian, nothing fucking hurts him. Frustrating as hell. And his continuous proclamations. Fuck you buddy.

Goddamn Rufus.

Scared Jace. And then Clary admitting to him that she was afraid of what Sebastian might do to her. And Jace feeling guilty. And I just. Ugh.

“You know me. I only have two reactions to bad news. Uncontrollable rage and then a sharp left turn into boiling self-hatred.” - Jace

Yet Clace is still being cute. HOW.

Veni. Sebastian and his messages.

And of course Clary and Jace try to offer themselves up. Of course. 

“Because thats how people talk when they think they’re going to die.”

The Clave.

Jem needing to protect the last of the Herondale line.

Jem paying his respects to the Shadowhunter who had to kill is Endarkened parabatai.

Maia fucking slayingRufus.

Jace and Simon and Alec. BROTPs.

Emma breaking into the Lightwoods, “like in Peter Pan.

Emma being the most awesome little girl version of Jace EVER. And she’s like the center of the next series.

Hell yes.

Alec and Emma discussing parabatai. 

 

“I wouldn’t trust her farther than I could throw a medium-sized elephant.”

Alec bitching his way into joining Clary and Jace.

That Queen is a little bit of a meanie.

Part Deux

OH MY GOD. WHY COULDN’T HER LIFE HAVE TURNED OUT THIS WAY, BUT LIKE INCLUDING SIMON AND STUFF AND I JUST. I WANT JONATHAN AND VAL AND HAPPINESS. 

THE SIZZY IS STRONG. THE MALEC IS STRONG. BUT THE MAX IS HEARTBREAKING.

Evidence of Clace love curtesy of Alec.

“…then we are going to have to have words, Jace Lightwood-”

“Flying death turtle?”

Clace 

Alec. Put on fire duty. Alone. As the couples pair off.

I do hope we see more of Malcolm.

“If a demon grabbed me every time I was obnoxious to Simon, I’d have died the day you met me." 

Sarcastic/Witty Jace makes me just as happy as Badass Jace and the Jace reserved for his family and Clary.

Stupid Simon. It was like sups obvs that she didn’t actually want you to say it at that moment. DUH.

Jocelyn/Sebastian interactions are weird.

I have bad feelies about Emma and Julian being parabatai.

Which I’m like

Magnus kinda sorta gives me life.

Lily and Maia’s plot. Like

Alec is not your bitch, Jace. And that is why he will not make you pie.

But not really.

Parabatai connecting emotionally.

Fucking. Demons.

Clary walking into the flames like a badass. And then saving Jace. And the BROTP OF ALL BROTPS is Jace and Simon. Even though Jace refuses to hug Simon. And Alec being all adult-y and stuff.

Magical prostitutes.

What the actual frick-n-frack. How. Why. No.

"And you’re just a boy-” Like, ‘I will have you know sir, I am nearly 150 years old. Thank you.’ Jem. Jem. Jem.

Alec is the only one who paid attention in class. Jace gestures very expressively.

“That weapon. I want it.” “Well, you can’t have it.”

I do what I want and damn the consequences.

Jace hates it when Simon is right.

SIMON SAVING IZZY. 

References to Will.

OH GOD.

Lily filming the demon like

WEIRD TIMES BETWEEN ALEC AND SIMONE. ALEC SORT OF APPROVING OF SIZZY.

Bath time. I have so many gifs for this scene. Are you ready.

And like

but

Poor Alec. He has such terrible timing and he’s just like

Jace’s face is like a very open, very pornographic book. And Alec would like it if Jace could shut his face.

Jace can’t draw. At least he’s not totally perfect.

And the plan is still “Trust me.”

You can’t lie to Ty. 

Jace continuing to be handsome regardless of what he is wearing.

Nooo.

This is how I imagine that situation.

Jem saving the day. Sorta.

DON’T YOU DARE.

I don’t think that’s how love works.

GODDAMNIT.

Angsty Malec moment.

Ty keepin’ it real.

I SURE HOPE YOU HAVE A PLAN.

Poor Jules. And Ty…

I’m getting PJO feels with this one. Errbody’s like

Just. I can’t. It’s so horrible.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING. INCEST IS WEIRD AND I THOUGHT WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THIS.

Amazing. And sad. And I just.

Gosh diddly darn it.

The goddamn fucking Clave. Always messing shit up.

Emma’s hesitation. Like no.

I think I know, but that doesn’t mean I want it.

Clace feels. Herondale feels. ALL OF THE FEELS.

We officially have Malec back.

The phone call.

Too much.

I’m reading and then I come upon the Epilogue and it’s like “Oh haha. Ms. Cassandra Clare, you are so funny. This is not really the last chapter… . ”

GOD DAMN YOU (AND YOUR FANTASTIC BOOKS).

THANK GOD FOR MAGNUS AND IZZY.

Jem has still got it going on. And Alec would like the calender.

“Sentimentality gives Isabelle hives." 

"We’re not going to have sex. At all.” “But 'at all’ is my favorite way to have sex.”

“…she would have a thing or two to say to Jace about his timing, after she drowned him in the lake.”

Lovey-dovey Clace.

Magnus interrupting them.

Alec talkin’ it out with Robert.

Simon. And poor Izzy.

Jace’s musical abilities.

Jem and Tessa watching Jace and Emma.

Jem and Tessa missing Will.

Sizzy moment.

Clary meeting Tessa. Jem stealing Church. Simon remembering biting Jace.

“A walk or a walk?”

Just all the feelies from the gang.

Magnus and Catarina discussing Tessa and Will’s children.

FEEEEELS. IT CAN’T BE OVER.

AND THEN… ALL WE GET FOR A PREVIEW IS THAT LETTER LIKE

And I have to wait almost a year and a half for the next Cassandra Clare book?