The quirky song “Particular Taste” shows a Mendes ready to experiment with song form — and romantic partners.
He’s unsure of a lover’s commitment on “Mutual” and asks “Why can’t we just get over ourselves?” in the spare “Why.” It might be wise not to irk Mendes, since you might be on the receiving end of a spikey song like “Queen.”
Recently I had a lot of free time (because I finished the IB two weeks ago). Through this time I had things that I wanted to accomplish such as improving my drawing, studying Italian, reading books…etc. but unfortunately I haven’t started doing anything until today.
Walking down the
street definitely attracted some attention, especially on warm days like today
when you decided to throw caution to the wind and go completely sleeveless, all
profanity on show. Let them stare, after all these years you were definitely used
to it by now. Still, it didn’t stop you from shielding your arm slightly behind
your back or crossing it over your waist as you walked down busy streets. Like
My head aches like a thousand bricks fell with it. My lungs were still negotiating with the oxygen if they can enter my body. But I’m still breathing, especially now, that I’m alive.
But what happened? Why in hell am I in hospital with an oxygen nasal prongs?
“Mom.” I called my mom for the second time around. She finally gather her consciousness.
She smiled widely as she laid her eyes to me. She even shed a tear.
“Baby, oh my gods, thank you, you’re awake.” I tried to smile even if it hurts.
“As if I’m out for an eternity, mom.” I scoffed at her.
“Four days is an eternity for us, Y/N.” she planted a kiss on my forehead, “I’ll tell dad you’re awake. How are you feeling right now?” she asked as she brushed my hair.
“I don’t know. My head is banging like I’ve been hit with tons of bricks, I can’t even sustain a normal breathing without this.” I murmured as I lifted the nasal prongs. “I don’t feel good. What happened to me, mom?” she just stared blankly at me wondering why I’m asking that question.
“So what have you remembered?” the doctor asked me, she introduced herself as Sara Lee a resident in this hospital and I’m not paying attention which field she specializes. Or even what’s and where this hospital is located.
“Like, what happened as they said,” I looked at my parents, “I’ve finished the shooting, I’m in vacation and I’m trying to get ready for something that night and drove off to somewhere.”
“What’s that something?” she asked me in a low voice.
“Meet someone, I suppose.”
“Who’s that someone?”
“Shawn, my boyfriend, I guess.” I rolled my eyes, “I don’t really see the relevance of these questions doctor, it’s not like I have an amnesia, it just happened I forgot the accident itself. Okay? And what truly happened next.”
“But, Miss Y/L/N, we needed your statement for the case?” the cop backed her up immediately.
“What case, dad?” I shot my attention to my dad.
“Sweetie, with the driver who made the collision with you.” he my dad confessed.
“For God sake, dad.” I inhaled.
“Darling, he’s drunk at that time.” my mom supported my dad.
“I don’t want it. It’ll draw to much attention. I mean,” I inhaled as I grieved for the man’s future, what if he’s a dad, he got kids, “you can look for other options, reasons, why it happened. Technicalities, from him, from me? I don’t know.” I closed my eyes. “You’re asking to many questions and I’m not ready for it.”
“Okay. We’ll leave you here for awhile.” Dr. Lee soothed the tension.
“How did I look, like, physically?” I asked my mother as she’s arranging the flowers at my side.
“Beautiful.” she answered sweetly with her smile.
“So, can I just take a look of my beautiful self, as you referred it, mom. Can I have a mirror?” she shook her head as a no.
“It’s plausible that I look extremely bad, terrible, that you can’t let me see myself.”
“Look, baby, it’s like a day that you’ve been awake. We let you feel upset about the case we’re taking for the other driver and I think it’s enough for today.”
“Just a fucking mirror, mother. That’s all I ask.”
I stared myself at the mirror, cold, plainly, I don’t even recognize myself from it. It’s probably worthy to have this situation in the court and I’m considering it now. I ran my left hand under my left eye as I trace the stitches. The thread holding my cheeks from being apart. My lips we’re somewhat messed up. My bloodshot eyes, that’s solely responsible for the blurry look of the scenery and the bandage circling my head. The neck brace supporting my neck to hold up my head.
“I’m a mess, I look like a mess, mom.” I cried instantly as my mother grabbed the mirror away from me.
“We can fly back to London. We’ve consulted some experts to fix it, love. We can fix it. You just have to be strong.”
I’m sobbing at the agony of the result of the recklessness of someone else and it’s affecting my life drastically.
If I didn’t leave the flat that night, this wouldn’t happen. I’m still me. If I just let him drive to fetch me probably the fates might took the different option. The better option.
How did Shawn accept this knowing that I’m off to him when this happened?
I continued crying.
“She’s awake, honey. Shawn, Y/N is awake.” her mother sobs at the other line.
“That’s really good. That’s good.” I repeated my words over joy. “I’ll try to manage to fly back there to see her.” I told her as my left earphone attached to my left ear while the other one hanging as I tried to play the wires with my bare hands.
“But, you’re on the other side, Shawn. You’re in California.” she still worries about me and I think it’s a bad idea.
“It’s a four hour flight, Mrs. Y/L/N it’s not a hassle.” I said happily.
“Yeah, I know, but,” she stopped herself, “I think it’s not a good idea to see her, she’s been through a lot honey and we didn’t want to have another burden for her.”
I was in awe, what’s she saying and what the hell is happening.
“Can I even talk to her, like now?” I asked her pleading. I just want to hear her voice, her saying she’s okay that everything is fine that it’s okay for me to fly back to her. “Please?”
She paused for awhile, I wonder if she’s asking Y/N if it’s okay. And I know it’s okay.
“She’s asleep, Shawn. I just wanted to tell you that she finally woke up from coma. You can talk to her, soon. She’ll call you. I’ll hung this up. Get some rest, Shawn. And don’t fly back here, yet.” she reminded me not to take a plane ride to see her tonight.
“Okay. Send my hello to her. And please do tell her call me when she can.” I smiled at the end of the line, “I’m so happy that she’s awake and that’s it. Good -, oh, please tell her I left a note under her pillow. And I’ll not fly back there, Mrs. Y/L/N. Not yet, not today.” I assured her.
“He wanted to talk to you?” my mother said inaudibly.
I shook my head as I tried to smile. I’m not ready to see him, to see me like this. I’m a mess and I don’t know if I can still be fixed.
“She’s asleep, Shawn. I just wanted to tell you that she finally woke up from coma. You can talk to her, soon. She’ll call you. I’ll hung this up. Get rest, Shawn. And don’t fly back here, yet.” my mom told him through phone. The last sentence we’re quite clever, she reminded him not to fly back here because it’s a four hour plane ride and he’s on tour. My mom and I talked about this, like an hour ago, that he needs to be on the road still and while I’m recovering.
My mom dropped the call and sat at my side.
“He’s happy that you’re fine, he wanted to talk to you badly, sweetie.” she said softly as she brushed my hair.
“Yes, I will, it’s just that I’m not ready, not today, mom.”
“It’s okay, I’ll just grab something at the cafeteria and you’re dad was home I told him to stay and rest there for awhile will be switching post, I know, I know, honey, I needed that too.” she assured me as she turned her back towards the door.
“And, oh, he said, he left something, a note perhaps under your pillow.”
“Really, okay, thanks mom.” my mother exited the room and now I’m alone.
I pulled my back against the stack of pillow behind my back as my hand searches for the note. It came a cross with a paper as I lifted the paper to read what he just wrote.
It’s a folded piece of white paper with my name written at the front. With more scribbled words inside. I must say, Shawn doesn’t have the nicest penmanship, but, I love it especially when he wrote me letters and notes.
I opened it and read what’s written.
“Come and find me when you wake up.” I smiled reading it. And I noticed something written in the lower right corner of his note, “Or I’ll come and find you when you wake up.” with his signature.