I await Shawn’s arrival and eventually my impatience got the best of me. An hour had passed with no word from him and I grew nervous. He never left the house for this long without telling me. I decided to call him to see what was going on. I dialed his number and waited for an answer.
“Hey baby, what’s up?” Shawn’s chirpy voice finally answered after ringing four times. I could hear the faint strumming of a guitar in the background. I figured he was probably at the studio after hearing the guitar, but was still curious anyways.
“Where are you?” I asked, a little worried.
“Oh, shit. I forgot to tell you. I wrote a song and I wanted to come to the studio to record it as soon as I wrote it. I’m so sorry.” He apologized.
“It’s alright, I was just worried.”
“How was your doctor’s appointment?” Shawn asked me. His interest in everything I did was something else I loved about Shawn. Even if it was just a simple doctor’s appointment, Shawn wanted to know how it was. Except this appointment wasn’t a simple or a normal one, but Shawn didn’t know otherwise.
“It was good, I’ll tell you more when you get home.” I promised. We continued talking about our day so far. Shawn was finally on his way home by the end of our phone call. I was getting so excited about telling him and then I realized I hadn’t even thought out how I was going to do it.
Do I just tell him, blurt it out? ‘Hey love, we’re having a baby!’ Or do I need to do something extremely sweet and surprise him? 'You know, Father’s Day is coming up, I think we should go out and celebrate.’ Shawn would probably say, 'Why would we celebrate Father’s Day?’ And I would respond with ‘Because you’re going to be a father.’ No, that’s too cheesy. But what do I need to do?
By the time I heard Shawn pull up, I had decided how I was going to tell him. I took in a long, deep breath and prepared myself. I wasn’t sure what exactly I was preparing myself for. Shawn would be excited no matter how I broke the news to him. There was no way I could screw this up. Shawn walked in the door looking stressed and I knew that would cause my plan to work even better. He gently set his guitar down in the foyer then walked to the kitchen. He sighed softly while running his fingers through his thick, curly hair. He really needed a haircut. The long hair wasn’t much of a dad look.
“What’s wrong?” I asked when he sat down on one of the stools.
“When I got to the studio the song didn’t sound as good as I thought it did so we had to do some tweaking. Nothing major.” He admitted. I looked at him from across the kitchen while he clenched his jaw and looked down at the marble counter top. He looked exhausted from his day’s work. He said he had left right after I did and he just now got home. He spent a whopping six hours working on a song and recording it.
“Want a drink?” I said. His answer was yes so I started pouring him a drink. I walked towards Shawn with his drink in my hand and not one for myself, for obvious reasons. I sat it down in front of Shawn and rubbed his back lovingly. I felt every ridge of his muscular back and in my mind, admired it.
“Are you not going to drink anything? Not even some wine?” Shawn asked. I shook my head while scrunching my nose up out of disgust. He probably thought I was sick, I rarely ever turn down wine.
“I can’t.” I told him. I waited for him to catch on and could barely hide a smile that was forming on my lips.
“What do you mean you can’t? Don’t you mean you don’t want to?”
“No, I can’t drink.” I told him once again. The fact that he was tired was probably why he hadn’t figured it out yet. I wanted to just blurt it out. ‘I’m pregnant, you idiot! Why haven’t you caught on yet?’
“Why not?” He now looked confused and had his hand resting on my waist, rubbing slowly. Shawn rubbing my hips and my waist would be something that was rare once he I told him the news. He would always be caressing my stomach from now on and I was sure of it. I pecked his lips quickly a few times, tasting the faint, undeniable flavor of liquor. I prepared myself to tell Shawn the best news I would ever tell him. I smiled while inhaling then exhaling deeply.
“I’m pregnant.” I breathed out against his lips. I closed my eyes and waited for his reaction while my forehead rested against Shawn’s. I waited for Shawn to smile, to hug me just a little too tight, and kiss me.
“You’re pregnant? You’re really pregnant?” Shawn inquired, looking happier than a child on Christmas morning. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me in a hug.
“I’m really pregnant, Shawn.” I told him. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me sweetly. His lips pressed against mine over and over again. During multiple kisses, our teeth hit one another’s because we couldn’t control the smile we were both wearing.
“I love you.” Shawn kept repeating in between kisses. After pulling away from my lips, he lowered himself down and knelt in front of me. “And I love you just as much.” He said while kissing my stomach softly just once.
“I love you too.” I spoke. This was really happening. Shawn and I were finally having a baby after so many years of wanting one. We were finally starting a family.
“So what about names?” Shawn asked excitedly while we were laying in bed later that night. I chuckled lightly and rolled over to face Shawn. His arm was slung over my waist as soon as I was facing him.
“Babe, we don’t even know the gender yet. Don’t you think it’s a little too early for names?” I stroked his cheek with my thumb while staring into his huge caramel colored eyes, a trait I hoped our baby would inherit. To be quite honest, I hoped our baby looked just like Shawn. A mini Shawn would be the most adorable child on earth.
“It’s never too early for names.” Shawn scoffed jokingly. “If it’s a girl, I like Addison. Addison Mendes.”
“I like Addison too.” I agreed. Shawn already seemed more creative with names than I was. We would probably change our mind on names dozens of times though.
“And we could call her Addie for short.” Shawn smiled and I smiled too. We were both so exuberantly happy about being parents.
“What about for a boy?” I asked. Shawn thought hard about it.
“I like Oliver, and we could call him Ollie?” Shawn said. Shawn and I both looked at each other for a moment before making facial expressions that showed we didn’t like it. “Okay, babe.” Shawn laughed while kissing my forehead.
“When is your first doctor’s appointment?” Shawn asked. I told him the time of the appointment I had scheduled earlier today. “I’ll be there.”
“But won’t you have a show? Or a photoshoot, something?” I wondered.
“I do, but you and our baby are more important.” The baby was only the size of a little bean and Shawn was already an amazing father. I absolutely could not wait to raise this child with him.
Summary: You and Shawn broke up five months ago and while you’re still trying to move on, he seems as if he already has.
It was a complete mistake when you decided against deleting your twitter. Being tagged and mentioned in things about Shawn and his life now was what your twitter had become full of and you had to admit it, you hated it. Especially tonight.
It was a little past 12:30 when you were mentioned in something that made your vision blurry and your heart heavy.
SHAWN MENDES AND CAMILLA CABELLO FROM FIFTH HARMONY DATING!
You honestly had no idea what to think. Well, you guess you were happy that he found someone that he thinks he could have a relationship with and truly be happy with her, unlike with you. But if we’re being completely honest, it broke your heart and made you feel like hell. You were left with so many questions when Shawn broke up with you, saying it wasn’t working and he didn’t treat you the way you should be. It was absolute bullshit, Shawn treated you like a freaking queen, or so you thought. Apparently he hadn’t “paid enough attention to you as he wanted” - whatever that meant.
Nothing had led up to your breakup. You two had not argued or gotten mad at each other, nothing; you were left feeling even more confused when he said those fateful words “it’s not working.”
Whatever dumb late night re-run you were watching became irrelevant as you went online and tortured yourself even more - looking at pictures of the two of them together. What a terrible idea.
You pulled your comforter a little higher so it was under your hands as you fiddled with your phone in the dark; the only light coming from the TV stationed at the other end of your bedroom.
A soft ding filled your ears as a message appeared at the top of your phone.
Shawn Mendes: I know you’ve seen it
Yes, you had. So, you tell him exactly that. It was strange texting him again, you two hadn’t spoken to each other in at least four months now and suddenly, there it was.
To Shawn Mendes: is it true?
To Shawn Mendes: it’s okay if it is
Your message was immediately read by him and you quickly saw the little speech bubble pop up, indicating that he was typing.You dreaded the answer.
Shawn Mendes: I don’t really want to talk about this over text, coffee?
You really shouldn’t. But you responded anyway.
To Shawn Mendes: coffee bean in ten
And that was that.
At this point, you didn’t really care that your hair was tied up in a messy ponytail or that your ratty old t-shirt had a couple of holes in it. You just wanted to talk to Shawn.
God, all these months and he still has you whipped. You think it’s pathetic, he broke your heart with no explanation and now he suddenly wants to talk to you? Yeah, okay.
You were able to make it to Coffee Bean in the allotted time you had texted Shawn about, surprisingly not there before him. He sat at a small round table for two in the middle of the shop, an iced tea in front of him - you knew how he didn’t like to drink caffeine after midnight if he didn’t have to. You pulled the door open and entered the shop, his head snapping up at the sound of the bell ringing.
He looked good, you had to admit it. His hair was a little ruffled and slightly looked as if he had an Afro, but he looked totally cute.
The two of you didn’t exchange any words as you sat down in front of him, not engaging in pleasantries purely due to the fact because the last time you spoke to each other, he was saying that you deserved better.
“Y/N,” he speaks, his voice a little raspy. Shawn’s caramel brown eyes meet yours, but you look away and cross your arms over your chest. “You look good.”
Your eyes flit back over to his as he looks in awe at you.
“Thanks.” You finally respond. “So do you.”
He gives you a small smile and for a second you forget the whole reason you’re there. It feels normal again, for the first time in a while.
Things are quiet between you and him before he decides to speak again.
“I remember acting out how I was going to ask you out in the mirror.”
“Stop.” You snap. You’ve had enough of these games.
“Did you ever move on?” He asks you, picking at his fingers.
You lick your lips before the next words come out of your mouth.
“I tried to, but no one was you.” And that was the honest to God truth.
You had truly tried to forget Shawn and how you felt about him, but he always came back. He simply nods his head, not looking you in the eye. Shawn almost seemed pained as you said those words to him, but you chose to ignore that.
You didn’t want to ask the next question, but it was the whole reason that you were here sitting in front of Shawn.
“Are you moving on?”
He finally looks at you.
“We’re just working on a song together, purely friends.” He pauses, his bottom lip being harassed by his top teeth.
“That didn’t answer my question.” You say.
“I couldn’t if I even tried.”
“What happened, Shawn?” You ask weakly, wanting an answer. “There was no argument, no reason, so what the hell happened?”
He took a deep breath in and sat back in his chair, exhaling.
“You deserve someone who can be there for you 24/7.” He shrugs, making it seem as if that was the most obvious answer.
“You were always there for me 24/7!” You counter.
“It didn’t always feel like it!” He raised his voice, getting frustrated. “If I was in Sweden, you would come down with the flu and I felt as if I was in the wrong if I couldn’t be there to hold your hair back. Or if I was in Germany, you’d have a volleyball game that I couldn’t attend and cheer you on for. Or if I was in England, your brother got first place in the science fair and I couldn’t be there to tell him good job. I was missing out on your life while you filled me in later and I then decided that you deserved someone who could be there for it all.”
“Shawn,” You look at him, his eyes watery. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to be there for everything. It comes with the job, but I was okay with it because I knew you were there for the things you could be there for. You were not at fault! Jesus Shawn,” you pause, but only for a second. “I love you.”
Shawn’s eyes widen and he looks relieved in a way.
“I love you, too.” Shawn tells you, smiling because he finally had you back and didn’t have to feel so bad about missing out on things. Because you were right, he was there for the things and he could be there for and the way you felt about each other should be enough to keep the both of you going.
“You wanna get out of here?” He asks, standing up from the table.
You nod excitedly as he slowly tangles his fingers with your own and pulls you out of the coffee shop and onto somewhere new.
You knew you two had a lot to talk about, feelings and things not yet said, but you kept your mouth shut for a little. There’s nothing wrong with just wanting to be in the moment. And you were completely submerged in this moment.
This time it was different though, nothing was going to tear you two apart again that easily.