Sh*t Long Haired Girls Say To Short Haired Girls

So much fuss over a few cut tresses! Below are genuine statements from long haired girls and the replies (complete with an eye roll) that I wish I’d said. Any crop cut ladies relate?

-“Oh my god you cut your hair, why?

 Ever heard of free will?

-“Wow you cut your hair short- I mean, I could never do what you did.”

 Nobody is asking you to, honey.

-“It looks so good… if I ever cut my hair short like yours I would die. I would just DIE.”

 Really? You would die? So if I was to take a pair of scissors and shear you a pixie cut right now you would actually cease to exist on this planet? Don’t tempt me.

-“Does this mean you’re a lesbian now?”

 Worst. Chat-up line. Ever.

- “What does it feel like?” (Said person begins ruffling your short crop)

 Like hair. But short. Please stop invading my personal space with heavy petting.

- “Are you going to grow it out? How are you going to find a job?”

No because long hair makes me look like a mother-in-law and brings out my horse jaw. I will find a job by looking online and in the paper. Like regular people do.

- “It is just so final.”

Hair grows. Even when we’re dead. Pretty cool, right?

- “You look better with long hair. I mean this looks good but you should have your hair long, blonde and down to your waist.”

Just like your long blonde waist-length hair?

- “What do your parents think?”

Even though she loved my long hair, my mum regularly tells me that she prefers it short and sweet. Plus she has short hair too so the water bill is reduced drastically and we both take less time getting ready in the morning. 

- “You’re brave for cutting it that short.”

No, bravery is saving orphans from a burning building or giving someone your kidney. It is just hair, something dead that grows from our bodies. And if for some reason it doesn’t grow back then think of the variety of wigs. I could have a different colour or style for every day of the week! So lighten up and quit trying to define people by how much hair they do or don’t have.


I have been going through a lot lately and needed to make some major changes. So I made a symbolic change reflecting gender stereotypes, vanity, and perceived beauty by shaving off all of my split, damaged, fried, and frankly unhealthy hair. My loving boyfriend, who absolutely loved my hair, has agreed to be supportive. I have also gotten wonderful support from my friends so far, including one of my closest friends helping me do the actual shaving (it’s really hard to shave the back of your own head).