sharon raydor needs her own show

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Mary McDonnell on KTLA morning news, 8/8/11

Live from the 2013 Emmy Awards...

~~~BEGIN TRANSMISSION FROM THE FUTURE~~~

Neil Patrick Harris: “And the nominees for Outstanding Actress in a Television Drama are…somechick, somechick, somechick, Mary McDonnell and somechick. And the winner is…Mary McDonnell!”

(Applause, Mary is shown on screen kissing her politely smiling husband, who is still twitchy about her career eclipsing his way back in 1990, then she giggles her way up to the stage, trying desperately not to trip over her gown that was selected for her for once and not something she borrowed from Olivia. At home, fangirls go wild, spontaneous orgasms are had, lesbians are made, and a million Kyra fans go “pfft, that bitch only got it because Brenda Leigh Johnson was the best ever and she forced her out of her own show, that skank, what did she do with her face, gah, I hate Raydor, where’s my Fritzie?”)

Mary: (breathless, holding a very pointy and susprisingly heavy golden statue) Oh my goodness. (giggles) I can’t believe…thank you so much to the Academy and to the creator of the show, James Duff, and all of the wonderful people who I work with on Major Crimes, and to TNT for…you know what? To hell with this. I won for this? THIS SHOW? REALLY? Did any of you ever watch Battlestar Galactica? (orchestra begins playing softly) I mean, really? Some of you had to, right? Do you know what I went through on that show? I had cancer. Twice. I died a horrible and painful death. I wrecked my back hobbling around like Gollum in the finale. I had to lay in a bed half-naked with a totally naked Mexican poking his junk against me for three hours to film a thirty second scene because Ron fucking Moore can’t direct for shit. (music gets really loud) Oh, no, don’t play me off. I’ve earned this. I was the President of the Colonies, for fuck’s sake. Geena Davis couldn’t get past ten episodes as president. All the things I went through…and that god damned bald cap, losing weight, having people scream that I had plastic surgery, those conventions with those girls and their grabby hands and…“

~~~END TRANSMISSION - TERMINATED FROM THE SOURCE~~~

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Promo for Season 7 of The Closer, if you’re into this sort of thing.