sharks of suburbia

grand-tourers  asked:

sorry for just dropping by, but dude. dude. suburban check please au, but in post canon context. hear me out. the SMH accidentally taking over one side of a street. the other side is people who've lived there for twenty years. they're horrified. there's a tiny man bossing very large men around, one of which seems to think clothes are optional? that side is decked out in hockey regalia (falconers) except for one window (sharks). just. suburbia is never the same.

You don’t need to feel bad about sending me an ask I love seeing stuff in my ask box.

I love the idea of them all moving near each other after they happen to get jobs near providence. I feel like most of the neighborhood is OK with it especially the kids who live near 2 (two! Holster Def makes it later)

except for Sharon who is the current pta president and thinks it’s terrible (half of these families don’t share our good Christian values)

Jack finds this out when he goes to his first PTA meeting because bitty had to be in Boston filming a new England food special.

So Sharon is chatting up Jack which all the other parents are afraid to do because he’s an NHL star but Sharon believes on limiting her family’s screen time so she doesn’t know who is all she knows is he’s a hot new dad in town who’s daughter Isabelle is starting 1st grade.

She happens to complain about all these new families in their suburb saying how they’re corupting the kids especially that biracial gay couple . Jack walks away when he hears that and joins these two women who have been standing a lot close together than everyone else . ( there names are liz and Maria and they’ve been together for 15 years and their twins are starting 6th grade. They were married legally as soon as they could but they never had a big wedding like both of them dreamed of because they never had the money and even today they live in a nice suburb but weddings are expensive so they can’t put that much down at once)

They know exactly who Jack is . He’s the husband of Eric Bittle their favourite food network show Bittle’s hot bites. They ask where Eric is and explains why he had to miss the meeting but assures them that he’ll be at the next one.

When Bitty comes home Jack tells him everything including the racist and homophobic Sharon and the lovely lesbian couple (well wlw couple since Maria is bi) and how they deserve lemon squares cause they said those were their favourites .

Bitty resolves that he’s gonna be as passive aggressively nice as he can be to Sharon as he can be until she cracks.

Also if Liz and Maria mysteriously receive a wedding binder with all the things they ever said they wanted in a wedding with an attached cheque that would cover everything show well Sharon wouldn’t know how beautiful the two brides looked.

So that was longer than I thought it would be I hope you guys like what I think about this suburbia idea