shark-fin

@staff @support @greeningz
Here’s a little lecture from Undyne about this here advertisement, I’ll be typing up what she says as I’m afraid she will break my keyboard if I let her type this.

Hello humans! Today you are gonna get a lesson on fish, get ready to learn! First of all, the strong amazing warrior of a fish you see in the above image is a frilled shark. And no, Greeningz, it’s not a dangerous sea creature. They spend most of their lives below 50 meters (160 feet), and have been caught as deep as 1570 meters. If you don’t have gills like me, you’d never be able to swim down deep enough to see where they normally live. They only come to the surface when sick, dying, or caught by fishing nets. It’s maximum length is 2 m (6.6 feet), around the height of Papyrus. Even if you did encounter a frilled shark, it’s not dangerous. It only eats boney fish and mainly cephalopods, mostly squids. It has tiny needle like teeth meant for snagging soft squids, and a very weak bite for its size. If it tried to bite a human, it could very well lose a lot of its teeth and risk it’s jaws being broken. It’s not like me with my chompers (editors note: Undyne is gnashing her teeth and almost bit my webcam in half. I don’t have the guts to explain this isn’t being a recorded video).

Anyway, this shark is not dangerous at all, unlike humans. I love anime and know Alphys wants to take me there, but I’ve heard bad things about “Japan”. Did you know that in the oceans bordering it, the humans capture frilled sharks, and turn it into fish meal? It’s a better fate than some of the other sharks, in Ass-eye-ah (editors note: I think she is trying to say Asia, all those years underground have done a number on the geography education of monsters) fishermen grab sharks and cut off the fins, and throw the still living sharks back into the water to bleed out. They don’t take the rest of the shark, because their fins are worth more, because they are sold to make a special soup supposed to have magic powers. I get it, you humans want to have food that gives magical power buffs like some monster food gives, but it doesn’t work that way, and being cruel to sharks won’t help. Let’s not even get into what they do to the whales and dolphins.

sharks kill less than 10 humans a year. Most are cases of mistaken identity, but humans kill over 100 million sharks a year. Entire species driven to extinction. Typical humans, as a monster, I know how it feels when humans don’t understand and are scared of something, so they let bullies and people with uncaring destructive souls massacre an entire species and wipe it out, and justify it by claiming it’s just the way it’s been for a long time and that it’s to make places safer for humans. You want to know the most dangerous sea creature on the planet? The one that kills countless others, and is responsible for killing more humans at sea than all the other sea creatures put together?

Its humans. You have been killing each other at sea ever since you could make boats. I have been told that the flag I found was not about skeletons and humans, the skull and crossbones apparently means death, which doesn’t make sense because Papyrus and Sans wouldn’t kill a fly, right? Human pirates would use this flag to warn other ships to stay away, and they would kill people and steal from other ships. Today, people at sea still kill each other because of greed and hatred.

I’m listening to Alphys and trying to use science and education to change you humans and make you more empathetic, but if you keep fearmongering about sharks and killing them, and keep destroying the ocean, I’m going to handle this my way. I’m going to become a pirate. I already have an eyepatch and I can get that bird that carries you over a little gap in Waterfall to sit on my shoulder like a parrot. I’ll take the royal guard and Papyrus as my crew, and I’ll go hunt down these humans that kill sharks and whales and dolphins, and these people that encourage such genocide of wildlife, and I’ll give you HUMANS a REAL DANGEROUS SEA CREATURE to FEAR! NGAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

(Editors note: please stop finning sharks, she is scaring me)