I just want a scene where the team goes to an aquatic planet and Lance just squeals and gushes when he sees creatures that look like sharks and Keith starts to tease him…..until he see a hippo-alien thing and and the team is freaking out because Keith is trying to pet this weird hippo creature and Lance is trying to hug a shark which has “pointing ouch teeth Lance!!”
*screeches with glee* Alright nonnie, you have asked me the best question EVER!
Apologies for taking two days to reply to this, life was a bit hectic
Super Awesome Shark Facts
Sharks showed up 400 million years ago in the Devonian358.9–298.9
aka “The Age of Fish” between the geological Silurian (443.8–419.2 million years ago) and the Carboniferous Periods (358.9–298.9 million years ago). By the time of the Carboniferous, we had amphibians and other small vertebrate creatures capable of crawling about on land. It’s during the Carboniferous Period that the continent of Pangaea first began to form (let that sink in for a second, the sharks were about before Pangaea even began to look like a continent, that’s how long these creatures have been about jfc).
To date they’ve survived FIVE massive planet extinction events… ya know, those things that KILL PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET?? YEAH, THEM. We know of one that happened pretty recently in geological history; 65 million years ago when the dinosaurs went bye-bye. How fucking badass is that, Jesus Christ!
There’s currently over 500 types of Shark in the ocean at present (though not for long if people don’t stop KILLING THEM! CAN YOU NOT?!??). The most famous, of course, is the Great White (Carcharodon carcharias) and the Hammerhead (family: Sphyrnidae). For all that there’s a variety of Species, there are, of course, similarities in form and shape including cartilaginous skeletons (they’re literally made of the same stuff as the ridge of your nose is), enhanced electro-static senses (on their nose which is cute but also reason why if you boop them on the nose they ‘nope’ it out of the place; consider it not too dissimilar to bashing your funny bone and deciding to avoid that damned door in the future, same sort of logic tbh).
You can pet a Shark on the nose. This isn’t really a fact so much as an interesting aside that I think is cute and adorable as shit so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
[The still looks scary but honestly, he’s just giving the Tiger Shark a snack lol]
[I believe these are Lemon Sharks, which are fucking cute and I would cuddle one of them to the end of my life (I don’t have self-preservation instincts tho soooo)]
You have a higher chance of dying from being attacked by hornets, wasps, bees, dogs and even a fucking coconut (if you live in Asia) than you do of being killed by a Shark. How’s that for some mad stats?
As I’ve said, Sharks have survived FIVE massive planet extinction events but, currently, 20-30% of Sharks are close to extinction because of us, humans. Commercial fishing means Sharks get caught on hooks and nets; homeopathic remedies that require parts of Sharks for them to ‘work’; and Shark Fin Soup all contribute to the decline of these amazing creatures that have lived on this planet longer than even our most distant ancestor has.
Thanks to the media and stupid ass people who think they know everything from a movie marathon of the Jaws series, people think all Sharks are man-eating monsters that want to murder anyone who dares go for a swim in the open water. Here’s the thing though, 97% of over 500 Shark species are HARMLESS to us. The ones that ARE harmful tends to be because we’re in THEIR space and fucking up THEIR shit (personally, I’d beat your ass too if you came near my home so IDK why anyone thinks Sharks are evil; they’re just animals).
The reason why so many Shark attacks happen in California and places like South Africa is simply because of the abundance of food for Sharks; Great Whites especially. Seals, Sea Lions, and Sea Otters are all on the menu for the Great White and us pesky ass humans keep getting in their way. It’s not their fault they mistake us for food. Honest mistake.
Connected to EIGHT. Most of the time, people die from a Shark BITE but the Shark doesn’t come back for a second time (usually) because, unlike pretty much every other species that’s evolved on this planet, Sharks don’t have the opportunity to test what something is before using their teeth on it. Humans bleed out horrendously fast, especially in water, so the cause of death for most Shark attacks is blood loss and shock, not actually being eaten by a Shark.
Whale Sharks are the largest Sharks on record out of all current, living Shark species. They can be over 13 metres in length and, while they look scary considering how humans usually don’t go past 2 metres (imagine seven people stood on top of each other and you’ve got an idea of how long a Whale Shark is), Whale Sharks are the most docile creatures ever. They’re quite similar to Whales (hence the name) that live on plankton, for example the Blue Whale, and are absolutely gorgeous.
Hopefully these have been somewhat educational (while interspersed with my delightful attitude) and everyone can go on with their lives a little more aware and knowledgeable about Sharks.
Sorry to say this, but Kelly Slater and other surfers saying that sharks should be culled in big numbers are in the wrong. In the last 10 years 80 people have been killed by sharks. That’s not a huge imbalance or a big threat. There are areas where a handful attacks by sharks on humans happen every year and people are warned to not enter these waters. (The area which Kelly Slater talks about apparently saw 20 attacks since 2011, 8 of them deadly.) Yet that is still such a small number, compared to real common threats. More people get killed by dogs every single year. (Apparently 25.000 a year.) No one asks that all dogs should be killed. And are surfers forgetting that the ocean is the natural environment of sharks and NOT of humans?
You are entering the natural habitat of a dangerous (because of its anatomy, not because it loves to attack humans) animal, that can kill you if it mistakenly attacks you, and then you call for it to be extinct, so you can have some fun. That’s pretty ironic…
on twitter the other day, i was trying to articulate my affinity for the baroque eras of longer stories. the late seasons of tv shows, the later books in a series—and often even in non-narrative mediums, later albums, later paintings. later installments will naturally have a larger context than earlier ones. their context, the information they can refer to, includes everything the work (or artist) did earlier. these later works don’t necessarily contain more artistic information, more densely, because that’s a matter of execution, but they also won’t really “work” unless they take their expanded context into account. if an earlier work solved one problem, then a later one that solves it again looks pointless.
this situation of having to integrate more information means that baroque eras tend to ask harder, weirder questions. they also tend to be more elaborate—more characters, more plot lines, more (and fancier) words. i think of this elaborateness as akin to expanding the container of the artwork in order to handle the increase in information. of course, because integrating a lot of information is difficult, baroque eras also tend to be less tight and less precise. but they will often be more satisfying because there is more there there, in total, and because baroqueness indicates an artist biting the bullet of the implications of what they’ve made so far.
for example: the later seasons of buffy try to address the question of “what happens after archetypal heroism?” the question is still within the realm of buffy’s desire to subvert hero stories, but goes one step of subversion further. earlier lecter books show monsters failing to transform. so hannibal tries to address the question of “ok, so what would a monster successfully transforming themselves look like?” similarly, the third iteration of a meme will reveal one more level of absurdity, while still retaining its basic structure.
jumping the shark is what happens when a work fails to integrate information, either because it gets lazy and doesn’t try, or because the problem is too hard for the artist to pull off. or some combination of the two. jumping the shark is usually caused by bloat, but is more generally just a loss of structural integrity. if an artwork is a helium balloon, the baroque is what happens when the balloon is just full to bursting. jumping the shark can be both a burst balloon or a shitty one that has a hole.
In lieu of all of the sensationalist shark media occurring out there this summer, let’s talk about shark behavior and, in specific, shark attacks and white shark.
Some basic white shark facts (and yes,
Carcharodon carcharias is often also officially called the great white, but that just exacerbates all the media attention, so white shark it is). Whites are huge pelagic (open water) sharks that get on average 4-5 meters long, and their only known predator as an adult are orcas. They’re one of the longest lived cartilaginous fish known with a lifespan that appears to extend into their 70′s. They have hella tons of teeth and lots of rows of them, so that when one pops out the next just pops into place as if on a conveyor belt. A white shark’s bite force is something like 4000 pounds per square inch from a six-foot-long animal. (Thanks to wiki for all the basic facts).
Have a white shark anatomical drawing from wiki, because while it’s nightmare-inducing, it’s the only thing about sharks that should be.
People love to talk about sharks as these horrible monsters of the deep, eating everything they come across with gruesome abandon. This is just ‘perfect’ for summer, when sharks start showing up on beaches in the US and scaring the bejeezus out of basically everyone.
Luckily, those people are making things up. You’re more likely to die because you shook a vending machine and it fell on top of you than you are to get bitten (note: not attacked) by a white shark. There’s a couple things you’re got to know about how sharks function to understand why worrying about getting nommed on by one at the beach is pretty silly.
To start, they’re not man-eaters. Sharks don’t even know what a human is. We’re not aquatic organisms and they’ve probably only rarely encountered humans before, so there’s no reason to assume they’re going to be like ‘omg tasty hooman’ and charge over for a snack We don’t fit into what sharks consider prey, so they’re not going to prey on us intentionally.
However, they do prey on seals. Tasty, blubbery, freaking-stupidly-clever-and-fast seals. And a human on a surfboard (which is when almost all shark encounters happen that result in injury) happens to look mightily like a seal if all you can see is a silhouette. More importantly, it’s a slow, stationary seal, which implies an easy meal. Most of the time, sharks ‘attack’ surfers thinking they’re seals. And guess what? Humans do not have all that tasty, energy-loaded blubber that seals do. We’re pretty bony and we’re on these weird plastic things that have got to taste nasty as hell. Most shark ‘attacks’ last for one bite, because the shark pretty quickly realizes that we’re not the pinniped it thought we were, and those bones aren’t worth the effort, and it leaves. Not great for the surfer who is now missing lots of bits, but hey, the shark isn’t purposefully being an asshole. It was a case of mistaken identity!
But there are lots of encounters where people don’t get hurt, right? They just get the shit scared out of them when a shark starts face-punching their arm, and panic, and call the media, and suddenly it’s an attack again. This is actually because most of a shark’s sensory organs are on it’s face.
All those red dots are organs called the ampullae of lorenzini, and they sense electrical stimulus. They’re the organs that all cartilaginous fish use to locate food - when you see a ray sweeping it’s rostrum across the sand, it’s using it’s ampullae to search for buried critters. So if a shark is curious about something, say, a human, the first response is to nose it to get more information. That’s not aggression, it’s curiosity. Then, unfortunately, if it still wants more information, it’ll go and take a nibble - because, if you look above, there are more dots right around the mouth than anywhere else. Sharks are basically the really sharp aquatic equivalent of that annoying baby who has to put everything in it’s mouth.
Because humanity is collectively terrified of anything that has more naturally provided pointy bits than we do, everything has to demonize sharks, and that ends really badly. Everything gets interpreted as aggression. This, for instance, is a video in which a shark attempts to figure out what a pontoon boat is and gets stuck in the float. The people watching it of course put JAWS music on and captioned it as an attack, but that’s just a stressed shark going ‘wtf is this weird thing and why won’t it give me my teeth back’.
It’s shark season, but that doesn’t mean they’re out to eat us. We’re a bony, problematic food that likes to play mean tricks by pretending to be seals. If you don’t want to get attacked by a shark? Be careful about being in the water, and don’t surf at sunset or sunrise. If you see a shark being inquisitive, just bop it. They’re not used to any sort of physical contact from something that isn’t either food, a predator, or a mate, so they’ll generally just leave immediately.
Tl;dr, sharks are mouthy babies who aren’t good at differentiating humans from seals, and we certainly don’t help them any.
Hi my name is Savvy and I love the ocean! I just came back from California where I had the chance to see much of the wildlife that comes from the Pacific Ocean in multiple aquariums and even a Marine Mammal Rescue center! Sharks are a gift to this world and anyone that doesn’t think so can fight me.
Summary: The Forgotten Friends Club, the not-real club where forgotten friends reminisce about the good times and the bad times. The place where forgotten friends discover their true feelings about the friends that abandoned them, and where they develop new feelings for the other members. Jared and Michael are the only two members.Then there’s the guilty friends club, where Jeremy and Evan learn to deal with their guilt and anxiety together and learn that even good people do bad things, and that’s what makes them human.
There will be Christmas Drarry fic from me this year. Now I’ve said it, I have to follow through, right? If you don’t see me post anything about it by the 5th of December, please send me pictures of cute sharks and/or reptiles and then threaten to stop unless I finish writing and start posting.