shaping land

kiyumiarashi  asked:

Tell us about the parrots and the zipline? That sounds like the worst thing to happen ever.

Oh boy ok brace yourself cause this entire debacle was just a mess. Imma tell the story of this entire day cause it was just absolute bs 

So I’m in Mexico with my family, yknow, having a nice vacation. My dad doesn’t do heat, so it was just my grandparents, my mom, and me. Keep in mind, I was like, 16 at the time, so this was a few years ago now. 

So, i fully admit, I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Always have been, always will be. So when they said we could go to a massive park that was 90% underground, and the rest was like 300ft in the air, i jumped at the opprotunity.

so we get there and I immediatly beeline for the ziplines. Now, you can’t just do one of these suckers. Once you do one, there’s no going back until you’ve conquered all 12 (or something like that, there was a lot.) It took the better part of two exhausting hours to get through them all. 

So before the parrot issue there was some other bs first. We brought my best friend with me that year, but because we were both too light, we had to go tandum for a lot of the lines, or else we wouldn’t make it across. We’d just get stuck in the middle of the line dangling like a pinata, and no body wants that.

so the first bs comes along. I’m singing the batman theme song to keep my friend calm, because she is not a fan of heights. Like, we are screaming NANANANANANANA BATMAAAAAN at the top of our lungs. And we look ahead and see this massive gap in the trees. Now, we’d gone over a couple cinotes already where we could see the people doing the under ground activities. We figued, hey, let’s laugh at the people doing the river swim that’ll make us feel better. SO we get up on it and my friend starts freak tf out. It wasn’t a cinote.

it was a snake pit.

A massive round, man made snake pit will with hundreds of writhing snakes. They were climbing the walls, even the trees that were like 3ft from our toes. So we’re freaking out like “I don’t wanna be indiana jones i’m too young!!” But we pass it with no problem. We keep going another few second or so, and we see another break in the trees. We’re bracing like cause we assume it was another snake pit. It wasn’t.

It was a crocodile pit.

cue freak out number two.

but we pass it and all is well. Then we come onto the landing strip. We were just starting out so this one was pretty low to the ground. And then i see a weird shape on the grass landing pad.

There was a crocodile on the lawn

we freaked OUT like you wouldn’t believe.

so we’re soaring at this thing and there’s no stopping. We’re waving at the guys who are supposed to catch us with a net like “yo guys u got a coc problem.” and they don’t seem bothered in the slightest. We pass over this thing and it doesn’t move, but i’m 99% sure i tried to kick it. Now we’re free we’re safe and we should be slowing down…why aren’t we slowing down.

we slam into the safety net full force and bounce back a couple feet. When we manage to unhook ourselves we find the two duded pissing themselves laughing.

it was a fake crocodile. i tried to kick a concrete lawn ornament.


onto the parrots.


for this next one my friend was freaking out, as we were over 300ft up. I wanted to go asap so i went attached to my mom instead. At this point, i am alrady 5′8″, and my mom is like 5′5″. so you have this massive beanpole of a child strapped to her tiny mother. So we take off and our combined weight has us absolutely flying down the line. It’s all idealyic and serene, and i’m enjoying my crocodile free cruise. I look down and through a break in the trees i spot the amphibian vehicles going in and out of the cave systems. All good. Right beside them is a pack of leopards sunning themselves on a rock, which is also directly below us. and im thinking “wow, this would a crappy time to fall” immediatly i hear

thunkthunkthunkthunkthunk

my legs hurt all of a sudden. I glance down and see blood dripping down my leg. Mom is screaming/laughing.

we hit a flock of parents mid flight

and they were pissed.

So im screaming and swatting at them, they’re screeching like little feathered demons and pecking t us, some were dangling off my shoe laces, shriekingly like hellions. I still have scars from those suckers. They eventually fly off starnig us down like “dont ever come to our terf again” 

we finished the ziplines without incident after that.

but my day isnt over yet.

we have a wonderful lunch, i get my legs cleaned up, and we make the trek to the amphibian vehicles i saw earlier. We hop in and we’re going through the motions. Up and down, into caves and out. Super cool. Loved it.Then we come to where i saw the leopards.

all the cars in front of us pass without incident.

the second we roll up the leopards perk up and start running after us

cue freakout number 4654783

now, my grandpa is driving and i’m sitting there, with nothing but a mesh door between me and a pack of leopards

“grandpa go faster, we gotta goooo” and he just looks at me all calm like

“i know why they’re here.”

“THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW WHY THEY’RE HERE GO FASTER”

He just calmly, oh so casually, pulls out a hot dog from lunch.I just kinda stare at him like GRANDPA

Obviously i do the smart thing

i grab that stupid hot dog at chuck at the nearest leopard

i hit it in the face

they all fall on each other trying to get a taste of that mustardy goodness and we take that moment to make our escape


and that was my” wth is going on in mexico extravaganza”

and that day didn’t even include the sting ray incident

The Broad Haven Visitor

In 1977, a group of 14 schoolchildren were reported to have witnessed a cigar-shaped spacecraft land in an open field near the Broad Haven primary school; several other locals also claimed to have witnessed the same craft in flight. Since then, the events of that evening reignited controversy after the Mirror Online revealed that England’s Ministry of Defense had allegedly attempted to cover up an investigation into the incident. (source)

3

Thank you so much kind anon!!!! <3 Have these doodles of troll!Hughes I drew a little while!! he’s a Sylph of Heart psssst

The star-signs in nature
  • {I've had writer's block lately, so I decided to have a go at fixing it by writing a short description of what each star-sign makes me think of}:
  • Aries: Spring. Flowers bloom – a burst of colour splashed across the landscape – and new life springs forth into the world. This is where the ram belongs; the open fields of the rural world, where lambs bleat and foals take their first steps on too-long limbs, where rolling hills of green fill the horizon and new-born life sees the world with fresh, wide eyes.
  • Taurus: The foals, though still so young, take to the wind, galloping and jumping so fast and high they could take flight, the lambs play in their flocks, and the calf with its wet nose and big, lovely eyes chases its brothers and sisters through the field. This is where the bull finds solace; the electric excitement of the wild, fresh life that leaps and bounds around them.
  • Gemini: The twins have hearts of two halves. The sun in all of its blistering heat warming the golden sand beneath your feet as you pad along the beachfront is home, but the twins long for the cool of the night beneath clear skies. They are both the love of a lush light blue of the day and the adoration for the royal velvet blue of the night.
  • Cancer: Summertime in the sun, with waves lapping against white, perfect sand and erasing the footprints in the sand as the crab pads barefoot through the shallows. Everything is lovely and bright, even the sea itself glistens like the richest tanzanite stones – a billion gems shining in the waves – and the sun warms their soul with their every step.
  • Leo: There’s something of a quiet awe found in the sudden burst of a sunrise that, for the lion, can only be rivalled by its sweet, silent sister; Dusk. When the world is wrapped in soft reds and light purples and the birds sing their evening lullabies, the lion’s great heart finds its home.
  • Virgo: A virgin ship christened with a shattered bottle of champagne, a world seen from a new, fresh angle. This is where the Virgo finds the peace they long for: rolling waves and dawns reflected in a billion shattered pieces over the water’s surface. The open air of the ocean and the leaping of dolphins as they escort the ship through the sea. This is where Virgo finds love.
  • Libra: Balance can be found in many things. It can be found in the circle of life and in the stark contrast between day and night. This is where Libra is at home. In the mountains, where the sun glistens over the snowy peaks, or in the woods where beautiful wildflowers bloom only in the dark.
  • Scorpio: There’s a sort of perfection that Scorpio can find wrapped in burnt orange blankets and watching as pink marshmallows melt into their hot chocolate. Long, cosy sweaters and fur-lined boots cradle the soul of the Scorpio as they listen to the leaves crunch underfoot and see the world become a sunburst of reds and oranges around them.
  • Sagittarius: The archer finds peace in the wilderness. Peace is in the trees stretching their ancient limbs up into the air and bats flapping their leathery wings and singing their strange lullabies to the darkness. To the archer, life is breathing cool, crisp night air beneath whorls of stars and galaxies smattered like paint across the night skies.
  • Capricorn: Capricorn is the heart of winter, finding love in the freshly fallen snow and delight in the crunch of boots through the carpet of white. They are the clouds of breath in the cold, the feel of wool wrapped around you, cocooning you from the icy weather and thermal socks that make your feet look like little arctic foxes.
  • Aquarius: Like atlas holds aloft the sky with his mighty strength, the water-bearer carries a weight of their own. They too feel the chill of the season, but their soul longs for the icy waters of the ocean where the waves whip and lash like wild horses against the bit and the foam is the soul of the beasts that dwell below.
  • Pisces: Where one takes solace in the wide open spaces of the ocean, Pisces’ heart lies further inland where the rivers are nothing more than a rapid, rippling brook where the water flows over stone and shapes the very land around it. Where fish leap and birds flit and deer dance in the shallows. That’s the soul of the Pisces.

anonymous asked:

Weird request, but you summarize stuff. I've only caught a few episodes of Critical Role but am curious about Kima and Allura. What's the story there? Don't worry about spoilers, I'm never gonna get caught up on this show anyway, but I am curious!

Oh gosh! Okay. This actually dovetails nicely with some logistical stuff I need to figure out for reasons, so hey, here’s my really long-winded summary (and other folks, please chime in if I get something wrong, there’s a lot of ground to cover here ranging from pre-series to right up where we are now):

So, basically, Allura (human wizard) and Kima (halfling paladin of Bahamut) were part of the same adventuring party, and their exploits culminated in a big ol’ boss battle fifteen years before the start of Critical Role against an ancient red dragon named Thordak. Their party managed to seal Thordak in the Elemental Plane of Fire, but in the process three members of their party were killed (Sirus, Dohla, and Ghenn), leaving only Kima, Allura, and their elementalist friend Drake Thunderbrand standing at the end of it.

In the wake of the battle, the three of them went their separate ways, despite the romantic relationship that had developed between Kima and Allura. Allura accepted an offer to become a member of the Council of Tal’Dorei in the capital city of Emon, but Kima wasn’t exactly keen on a political position and traveled north to the holy city of Vasselheim instead, where she worked with Highbearer Vord, the leader of the Order of Bahamut. Kima mentions in early episodes of the show that she and Allura would still try to meet up every few months for drinks, but their lives were pulling them in different directions. 

Matt’s made it pretty clear that Allura still spent a lot of time thinking about Kima during those years—in his playlist he posted way back in 2015, he says of Allura: “So long as protecting the realm means protecting this one person, then all the toil and challenge is worth it.” Kima also wound up struggling a lot with her faith in the wake of all the evils she’d seen, and frequently butted heads with Highbearer Vord and the more straitlaced folks she worked with.

Fast-forward fifteen years, when Kima starts to get visions of a terrible evil brewing under the dwarven city of Kraghammer and rushes in half-cocked. Allura starts to get worried after several weeks pass with no word and hires a group of adventurers that she’s worked with in the past to go find Kima—the adventurers, of course, are Vox Machina, and this push was the impetus for the first on-stream plot arc of the show.

Vox Machina manage to get Kima out of a bad situation in the Underdark, and then they all wind up embroiled in a conflict against a particularly corrupted beholder named K’Varn, who’s managed to get his hands (eye-tentacles?) on a Horn of Orcus and is sort of chilling with his mind flayer pals as a lowkey champion of the god of undeath, which is not fantastic. VM kill K’Varn, and together with Kima (who’d been turned to stone by a basilisk, thus beginning her longstanding pattern of bad luck on missions involving VM) just barely manage to escape via teleportation circle back to Emon.

After a Weekend-at-Bernie’s-esque pub crawl with Kima still in stone form, the party finally manages to restore her, and they all head over to explain the events to Allura. Allura is delighted to see Kima again, and they have a tearful reunion. Kima does travel with VM back to Vasselheim to seal the Horn of Orcus in the Platinum Sanctuary (a temple of Bahamut), leaving Allura in Emon. VM eventually moves on to the next plot, leaving Kima in Vasselheim.

Once VM finishes dealing with the next major arc of the show, the end result is a tiny floating, spinning ball in a forgotten ziggurat under the human city of Whitestone that also happens to nullify all magic for a wide radius in its vicinity. You know, your standard everyday stuff. Completely out of their depths, they ask Allura to travel to Whitestone and check it out while they return home to Emon, a decision that possibly winds up saving her life.

Allura heads to Whitestone and brings Drake Thunderbrand on board to evaluate the situation with the orb. When some of her arcane connections with cities across Tal’Dorei start to go dark, she heads back to Emon to report in to VM at their Keep just outside the city and figure out what the heck’s going on.

She and Drake arrive to find the party in the middle of a very serious argument, on the verge of an all-out brawl, over a magical skull housing some sort of entity that claims to be able to grant any wish. Why is a wish particularly tempting right now? Oh hey, turns out four ancient chromatic dragons, the Chroma Conclave (excellent 80s band name), just attacked Emon, killed most of the Tal’Dorei Council, made a beeline for and destroyed Allura’s home, and are spreading out to destroy most bastions of civilization across the continents of Tal’Dorei and Wildmount. When VM reveals that the leader of the group was Thordak, the same dragon that Allura and Drake barely survived sealing in the Plane of Fire, Allura is in shock.

Allura and Drake head out to the ruins of the Cobalt Reserve in Westruun to try and find some information that could help them defeat the Conclave. VM eventually make their way to Vasselheim in search of allies, and are startled to discover that the city is unaware of the devastation happening across the ocean. When Kima finds out about the destruction of Emon, she’s frantic and her first thought is to find a way to get to Allura. VM manage to assure her that Allura is as safe as anyone can be right now, and Kima joins them on their disastrous journey to the sunken tomb, where they face another beholder and Kima is nearly killed by a long fall in the battle. In the aftermath, she makes her way with the party back to Whitestone, and finds out for the first time that the leader of the Conclave is indeed Thordak—the news puts her into an uncharacteristic state of panic.

While VM travels around in search of ancient weapons to help defeat the Conclave, Allura eventually turns up in Whitestone, which has become the unofficial seat of a new war council. By the time VM shows up again, having killed one member of the Conclave, Kima and Allura are both there to greet them. At this point, the two of them have moved into a house in Whitestone together (there’s a cute moment where Vex knocks on Allura’s door early in the morning and Kima answers it in a too-big nightshirt) and are helping to coordinate studies of the orb under Whitestone as well as the defense of the city itself, once it becomes clear that forces are amassing there. Kima takes out a would-be assassin who comes after them in their home (part of an elaborate rakshasa revenge plot; Gilmore pulps his assassin, it’s a whole thing).

Kima winds up accompanying VM on their mission to Draconia to kill Vorugal, a member of the Conclave, and discovers before leaving that another member of the Conclave, Raishan, has been (in disguise) in Whitestone for some time, that she knows all of their secrets and could wipe out the last form of resistance in an instant, and that the party has worked out a very shaky secret deal with her, since it turns out they all want to kill Thordak. Despite Scanlan’s attempts to modify her memory to make her forget this revelation, Kima knows about the infiltration, and agrees to move forward with the plan regardless. The party manages to kill Vorugal and return back to Whitestone, at which point Raishan’s identity is revealed, for better or worse, to the entire war council.

Kima and Allura go to Fort Daxio to help coordinate troops for a final push against Thordak, who has settled down over the city of Emon and is slowly shaping the land into some sort of super-evil volcano. As you do. At Fort Daxio, Gatekeeper Xanthas, a former ally from Emon, reveals himself to have switched allegiances to work with Thordak, and manages to cast a Feeblemind spell on Allura. VM shows up in time to take Xanthas out and reverse the effects of the spell, at which point an extremely shaken Kima and Allura have their first “on-screen” kiss.

After Thordak is defeated, and Raishan escapes an attack from VM in the immediate aftermath of the battle, Kima and Allura accompany VM to Raishan’s hideout on the Island of Viscan, which once served as the home base of long-dead necromancer Opash. After some shenanigans with gravity-reversal and a whole lot of undead bodies, the party battles Raishan, with both Allura and Kima coming very close to death in the fight. In the aftermath, the party tries to escape the island with their dead and wounded… and discovers when their first spell fails that this island has some defenses in place against transportation magic.

Allura eventually manages to put down a teleportation circle and step through, but Kima hangs back a second, telling VM that something looks off about the circle. Before anyone can decide what to do, Kima resolutely steps through after Allura, and they both vanish. Keyleth manages to scry on them and discovers that they’ve landed in open ocean somewhere, which is bad news if you happen to be in full plate armor, like Kima. Through a complete fluke of a dice-roll (natural 20 on a perception check), Keyleth manages to spot them from the beach—swimming in the wrong direction and already exhausted—and Vex shoots out after them on her broom. 

She grabs Allura, Allura grabs Kima, and bookish-wizard Allura, zero-strength-modifier Allura manages to roll a natural 20 on her strength check to hang on to Kima until they get to safety.

In the aftermath, Allura and Kima are helping to put things back in order in Emon, ensuring together that more shadowy organizations like the Clasp don’t make too much of a bid for power in the chaos. When VM heads out on their next adventure, Kima makes sure to tell them that if they see Highbearer Vord, they should just pretend they haven’t seen her; she’s staying with Allura.

By the cover {Part 2}

Pairing: Taeyong x Reader

Warnings: Now for real, the smuty smut. Also a wild sub!Taeyong. 

Word counting: 4.348 

Summary: Just when you thought you have learned every person in your school’s life patterns, you find someone else.

A/N: I wilded with this fanfic, i’m not going to lie. And it’s long so i’m putting this “read more” tab. If anyone has problems opening it just tell me and i’ll fix it :) 

PART 1 [HERE]



-”Lee Taeyong”

If you were texting, Johnny would have been a “ahskewiksks” because he makes a weird noise and starts slapping your shoulder while you stay frozen in place not knowing what to say and Taeil just blunts a “what? I missed something?”

The fuck are you supposed to feel? You are not disgusted at all but is not what you expected. And less when Johnny has been bringing this up all night. You don’t have clear what do you think on being alone with Taeyong in such a way.

-Yah! You tricked this?

-Me!?- he almost yells indignant but still laughing and you have to shush him down- I’m not that much of a son of a bitch this is just the universe and the fate loving me!!

-I’m…

-Excited!?

-No! Clueless! What am i supposed to do in a closet with this guy?

-You tell me, he is not that boring, innit?- he teases. You have to give that up for him because as soon as Sehun said his name you started questioning to what point do you believe your own words.

-What is the problem ‘bout that?-says Taeil finally speaking- If he is boring just wait the 7 minutes inside the closet, make him blush by the mere fact that he has a high quality woman by his side and then come out.

-Wait a sec, that’s actually a good ass plan- you agree

-Of course! 7 minutes in paradise invictus mode: reinforce your heartbreaker name by doing absolutely nothing

-Thats right, Taeil!- you two high five- Step off Johnny, now Taeil is my bestie

-Nii Tiiil is mi bistii- he mocks you with an stupid voice

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Creepypasta #1108: (Nothing But) Flowers

Length: Short

Everyone was happy. That’s what gave me the weird feeling in my gut. People are never happy for more than a few days at a time. Maybe a week. After that, they create friction for themselves if something doesn’t show up. If their family life is fine, they look at work; if work is fine, they turn to the national picture. With the alt-right recently re-elected to the White House, it wasn’t hard to find political strife. Trip over your shoelace in even the smallest town and someone’s accusing you of being a “Dumbocrat” or a member of the American Nazi Party.

But Twitter’s circle-jerk of deplorables had shut up. Tumblr’s extreme social leftists had quieted down. Both sides had only one message: Peace.

In no time, the gun debate had evaporated in a cloud of apathy. Some gave their weapons away. Those who liked the way they looked or felt on their hip kept them but never loaded them. A group of drunk Border Patrol agents tied part of the fence to a dump truck and pulled it down. They drank with the locals that night.

“Worldwide Utopia” was the headline on the last issue of the New York Times. They didn’t go out of business per se, but people simply stopped coming in to report the news. They would rather attend the all day (and all night) music festivals in Central Park, all genres of music welcome.

Prison gates clicked open and stayed that way. All prisons. Even Guantanamo. The inmates tore off their orange jumpsuits and ate handful after handful of free street tacos from local vendors.

Someone, probably a DJ on one of those niche Sirius channels, started playing that Talking Heads song (Nothing but) Flowers on repeat. The last time I saw a Billboard chart, it was at Number 1. It became our anthem.

And it started to come true. We did tear sown shopping malls to replace them with fields of daisies. We turned Howitzers, anti-aircraft guns, and tanks into planters filled to brimming with fruiting plants and herbs. We took sledgehammers to our houses of law; we didn’t need them. There was no more murder, no more violence. Just peace.

Even those of us who didn’t feel the worldwide tug of brotherly affection didn’t resort to violence. Maybe it did affect us a little. Maybe we could have knocked the rose-colored glasses from society’s nose if we bloodied our hands.

Instead, we connected on the Internet, talked, theorized, planned. Was this heaven, the result of some Tranhumanist designer happiness virus, a massive shared hallucination?

One of us, some guy in India, noticed a couple NASA satellites returning wonky results. We could see them through live feeds; hundreds of saucer-shaped ships. Thousands.

When they landed, humanity put up no resistance. They had pacified us too well. Even if we tried, all our defenses had become grain silos and orchards.

There aren’t many of us left.

Credits to: OsoBrazos

That Connection [3/?]

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Tech!Reader

Warning: Swearing, angst (come on guys it wouldn’t be me if there wasn’t a little drama in this) and umm sassy, witty, playful banter.

A/N: This is a spin off of Criminal Minds Penelope x Morgan relationship, only they end up together at the end. haha. There will only be like 5 or 6 parts to this at the most. Hope you enjoy, let me know if you want to be tagged.

You being the tech analysis for the Avengers, you’re at their call 24/7 specially when they take off on missions. You have a great relationship with the whole team, but the playful, witty banter you have with Steve is next level, your his favorite girl and he’s your blue eyed god. Little does he realize you’re harboring a deep, brooding love for him, now if only he returned the same feelings.

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“Okay you wake up now.” You pace at the foot of the hospital bed, your heels clicking under you with each short step. “I’m serious.” You shoot a look at the bed. Steve remains unmoved. “Rogers, you wake up or I swear I will be reduced to violence and you and I both know you clearly have had enough of that.” You stop, turning to look at him, foot tapping.

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(Part 2)

With their powerful beaks, the bird-folk sought to shape the land as they saw fit. As such, their colonies usually consist of deep, vast labyrinths, built into the sides of cliffs, often overlooking large bodies of water. As their technology evolved, many variations of headgear were developed to drill through even tougher rock. The bioluminescent insects they store in their masks glow when agitated, providing a source of light in the pitch-black caverns where they mine.

(Part 1)

I’d love a game where you can play as several generations, first your child, then grandchild, then great-grandchild… maybe even further! It’d be so cool to see how your farm and the town would change over the years. There could be a different story for each generation, and you’d really get to see how your legacy shapes the land. I know it’s a bit much to ask for though.