stop believing that you ran out of time to shape yourself into who you want to be! stop believing that its ruined! stop believing you don’t have potential! you are not a fixed being! you have endless opportunities to grow.
For those of you who know me, you’re probably aware of the fact that I rarely ever wear shorts. In fact, I haven’t worn high waisted shorts since college, when I was working out 5-6 days a week, taking a women’s weight training class, swing dance, and ballet. Back in those days, I had primo excellent legs and build, but I also spent most of my free time exercising. I also had a part time job to help me buy food and pay for cheap rent and utilities. I didn’t know the pain of life with post-college like working full time, living in a city, travel expenses, car payments, credit card and college loan repayments. These days, my body looks a little different than it did in college, partially because I’m not in college anymore, partially because I just don’t have time to dedicate to the gym, but mainly because bodies change over time, and that’s 💯 okay. My biggest insecurity has always been my bum and thighs. (Go figure: a pear shaped girl who isn’t the same shape as any of her friends or any person advertising fashion has insecurities with her body, who could imagine something as crazy as that?) For that reason, I chose against shorts. Usually nothing fits, like EVER. It’s not worth the struggle and the mood and psyche killer in the dressing room to try to find a pair of shorts that don’t make your hips and legs look 10x wider and larger than they are. But, as fate would have it, in my last resale haul, I happened upon these shorts. High-waisted? ✔️. 3"+ inseam? ✔️. Stretchy but also structured enough so they won’t turn into a stretched out pile of elastic and jean material? ✔️ and ✔️. So I bought them. Initial happiness was there, but then soon came the wave of insecurity. Will my legs look fat? How about my bum? What about cellulite? Guess what? Almost every human has stretch marks or cellulite somewhere on their bodies. I could nitpick and make myself feel horrible, or I could wear what’s comfortable and remember to love and appreciate my body at all stages, including the present. It’s a slow process, but I’m making a conscious effort to learn to love my temple. Plus, I think my butt looks pretty good here. 👌🏼
I often see posts about body positivity towards women with the waist smaller than their hips, usually with a pear body shaped, cute tummies and stuff. But what about all of those women with a large waist and masculine body? Wide shoulders and small chest or apple body shaped? What about all of those women with a flat butt? With no curves body?
This post is a shoutout for all of these women! There is no wrong way to have a body
😘 (also a reminder to myself though)
I think that what our society teaches young girls, and I think it’s also something that’s quite difficult for even older women and self-professed feminists to shrug off, is that idea that likability is an essential part of you, of the space you occupy in the world, that you’re supposed to twist yourself into shapes to make yourself likable that you’re supposed to hold back sometimes, pull back, don’t quite say, don’t be too pushy because you have to be likable.
And I say that’s bullshit.
So what I want to say to young girls is forget about likability. If you start thinking about being likable you are not going to tell your story honestly, because you are going to be so concerned with not offending, and that’s going to ruin your story so forget about likability. And also the world is such a wonderful, diverse and multifaceted place that there’s somebody who’s going to like you, you don’t need to twist yourself into shapes.
10 months or so apart… On the left, I was around 170ish. Now on the right, I’m about 140. I’m a completely different person. The girl on the left was depressed, felt worthless, & didn’t feel as if she deserved much from anyone because of certain circumstances. But while the girl on the right isn’t perfect & may not have it all figured out, she’s trying. That’s what it’s all about: trying. Getting up each day & telling yourself to just do the damn thing. Whatever it is you’re battling: a breakup, weight loss, school, family issues, finances, etc. You can and WILL figure it out. As long as you try.
Summary: Dean walks in on the reader having a private moment and he decides to talk to her about it.
is my fic for Sam’s 700 Follower Celebration ( @riversong-sam ). My prompt was: Song: Shape Of You by Ed Sheeran; Quote: “Don’t be like that!”; and the pic by the end of the fic. Hope you guys like it.
Do not let anyone tell you how you must look or act just because you are a man or a woman. You have boundless potential that can only be limited when you believe that your social identity is really who you are. Who you are is not a perfectly measured object. There is tremendous elasticity in who you can be. It is up to you to decide the shape you give yourself.
Let me ask you this; Have you ever found someone with freckles attractive? How about someone with a scar? Someone who was very short or very tall? How about someone with stretch marks or moles, wide hips or gap teeth, someone who was skinny or curvy? If you’re anything like me you answered yes to at least one of these questions, so why do we not accept these things on ourselves the same way? Your “flaws,” are your best features. They make you beautiful and unique. Treat yourself like you would treat a good friend. Love the things you used to hate about yourself the most. Someone out there wishes they had your freckles or your long legs; your dimples or your shapely figure. Love yourself! You are perfect.
(A table of contents is available.This series will remain open for additional posts and the table of contents up-to-date as new posts are added.)
Part Seven: Managing Talking Creatures
I won’t put my Narnia-nerd on full display today–we all know it’s likely the best known example of creature companions with the power of speech. But did you remember that the dragons in Anne McCaffrey’s Pern are able to speak telepathically? There are a multitude of companion cats in stories who throw comments at their compatriot humanoids, too, not the least of which is Faithful, the black feline met by Alanna of Tamora Pierce’s Song of the Lioness quartet. Each of these series treats their talking creature companions’ abilities differently, with a set of rules surrounding their ability much like the rules surrounding the use of magic. You, too, should take into consideration how speech works for your creatures and your world.
Pros & Cons:
There are lots of things having a companion capable of talking can help you through. In terms of actually writing the character, they’ll be easier to characterize, give background about, detail wants and needs, and in general deal with since they’ll be able to interface with their humanoid companions without too much trouble with interpretation. They’ll be able to tell their humanoid companions, and in turn the audience, how much they hate the swamp and how hungry they are; how they could help with the plan by eating the dock master’s dinner if need be; how the main character reminds them of a former master or friend. They can even throw out jokes, and depending on the syntax of how you have them speak, they can provide plenty of comedic or world-building moments as they mention things from their own culture. They’re great mouthpieces, just like other characters can be.
Of course, having your creatures able to speak can lead to just as many pitfalls, including a tendency to gloss over their more animal or creature behaviors. Because in our own world, animals can’t speak any traditional languages we understand, we classify them in our minds as something different, that must be dealt with differently. As soon as something can speak (think about AIs like Siri and Alexa, and even learning-capable technology like Furbies), we tend to begin thinking of them as more and more human, despite all physiological proof otherwise.
You need to make sure you’re doubly aware of your companion’s creature status when you give them the ability to speak. All those animal and creature behaviors shouldn’t fade away, and it will take more mental power than you expect to make sure you’re still portraying your creature with accuracy. There’s a reason you chose this specific creature to be your character an not just another humanoid. Maintain that distinction, even if they are able to communicate in the languages of their humanoids.
Function in the Story:
We’ll get into this in some more detail shortly, but it’s a crucial factor to helping you decide if your creature should be able to speak. After all, not all of them have to, and while part of the decision is based on whether the world is built to support that, it’s also impacted by what this character’s function in the story is.
I’ll go out on a limb and say an unpopular opinion: Creature companions who are given the ability to speak to their humanoid companions in language that requires little to no interpretation (such as speaking the native language of the humanoid, not speaking in descriptions of things, not speaking in metaphor, etc.) is the easy way out. It turns your creature into an easy-to-understand unambiguous character that suddenly becomes much more easy to write because you don’t have any of the bonding required for flawlessly understanding body language or the other complications that come with creatures who can only submit their commentary through perhaps emotional telepathy or more traditional creature communications. You remove all the work for the humanoids, and by doing this, you remove the opportunity to show a real, growing trust, friendship, and understanding if you take the work to portray a non-speaking creature.
Because of this, you need to make sure you sit down and think about what you need out of this creature character, and I’m not just talking about the actions they’ll be doing. I’m talking about what role they fill in this story. What arcs of other characters’ development do they contribute to, how, and why? Why are they important to this overall story and what is it about them that makes them important? Why did this character need to be this shape? Ask yourself how their role and function within the story would change if they were able or not able to speak. Is it a significant change? Would they be unable to accomplish their role as a character if they were unable to speak or would they simply have a more difficult time? Is it possible or a truly Herculean task for them to function the way you intended without speech? Make that hard decision.
Laws of the World:
This is the more obvious consideration when it comes to speech: What does your world allow for? Is this the only creature that can speak? How does their speech work? Faithful, the black cat who takes to accompanying Alanna, speaks human words to her, but to others who are present, it sounds like regular meowing. In Pern, the dragons are capable of telepathic speech while the smaller fire lizards only communicate a basic thought impression, emotions, and images. Just like with magic systems, your creature’s speech may have conditions on its usage. Think about how accessible you want language to be and how that will impact your plot, those characters who may be around when the creature speaks, how common speech from these creatures is, whether it’s a true language or more like impressions, who they can speak to, how that bond is determined, and what happens if the bond is severed. Your creature’s speech conditions can be as simple or as complex as you feel inclined to develop; just remember that these are rules, not guidelines. If you establish them, you need to keep them. Bending these, just like bending the rules of your magic, will hurt your audience’s ability to stay engaged with and believing in the story.