THE SIGNS AS HOUSE M.D. QUOTES
Aries: If nobody hates you, you’re doing something wrong.
Taurus: Everybody’s happy until they unwrap the pretty present and find they got a wall clock in the shape of Africa.
Gemini: The advantage of being a freak, it makes you stronger
Cancer: Did you come for my feelings? Because I left ‘em in my other pants.
Leo: I cared for eight seconds. Then I got distracted.
Virgo: If you talk to God, you’re religious. If God talks to you, you’re psychotic.
Libra: Your testosterone levels are below Bieber.
Scorpio: There’s no such thing. Our bodies break down, sometimes when we’re ninety, sometimes before we’re even born, but it always happens and there’s never any dignity in it. I don’t care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass, it’s always ugly. Always! You can live with dignity, you can’t die with it.
Sagittarius: Hi! This is Gregory House. I can’t take your call at the moment, please leave a message. If this is Wilson, I’m fine, not suicidal, not on drugs, coping very well with the loss of my last patient. So feel free to go about your day without worry. BEEEEEP!
Capricorn: Life is pain! I wake up every morning, I’m in pain! I go to work with pain! Do you know how many times I wanted to just give up? How many times I thought about ending it?
Aquarius: Sometimes the best gift is the gift of never seeing you again.
Pisces: Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.