shape acceptance

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Meme

Season four edition

  • “It’s nice that you’re excited.”
  • “Oh no, I forgot to pick mine up, the line’s probably really long now too.”
  • “Oh, I’m not really into porn… I mean, I’m just trying to cut way back.”
  • “Nobody really bothered me, or even spoke to me, until one night, when one of the male strippers called in sick, and no power on this earth will make me tell you the rest of that story.”
  • “And you thought your days of sneaking out of your room were over.”
  • “On the plus side you’ve killed the bench, which was looking shifty.”
  • “I can’t stop thinking about you. Sometimes, in my dreams, you’re all naked.”
  • “I like you. You’re funny and you’re nicely shaped.”
  • “And you just accepted that? I only said that because I thought that’s what you wanted to hear.”
  • “I am the Dark Lord of Nightmares! The Bringer of Terror! Tremble before me! Fear me!”
  • “Nothing can defeat the penis!”
  • “I was under the impression that I was your big comfy blankie.”
  • “How come you didn’t tell me I look like a crazy birthday cake in this shirt?”
  • “My whole life, I’ve never loved anything else.”
  • “You’re being too hard on yourself. Why don’t we wait a half an hour and try again?”
  • “To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It’s a ritual sacrifice… with pie.”
  • “That’s one fun little hobby you’ve got there.”
  • “I know it’s nuts, but part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting.”
  • “Yeah, well, I’m not the one who wanted Wind Beneath My Wings for the first dance.”
  • “This isn’t a relationship! You don’t need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.”
  • “Yeah, delivering melted cheese on bread. Doing your part to keep America constipated.”
  • “And you’re what? Shocked and disappointed? I’m evil!”
  • “Everyone’s getting spanked but me.”
  • “Make out with me.”
  • “That probably would’ve sounded more commanding if I wasn’t wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.”
  • “Don’t speak Latin in front of the books.”
  • “Now I remember why I used to have such a crush on him.”
  • “I’m just saying it’s a little strange to date someone who tries to eat you once a month!”
  • “No matter what, somebody’s going to get hurt. And the important thing is, you just have to be honest or it’s going to be a lot worse.”
  • “I feel horrible about everything I put you through. A-and I’m gonna make it up to you. Starting right now.”
  • “Great plan. That’s right up there with duck and cover.”
  • “Sometimes I think about two women doing a spell, and…then I do a spell by myself.”

What You’ll Need:
- just you, exactly how you are
- a mirror
- your heart, no matter how broken or strong

Step #1: Apply all of your aesthetics. This includes those glasses you have avoided wearing, the smile that you resist to hide your braces, the kinkiness of your hair that you were told needed to be straightened, the beauty mark posed on your cheek, and so on. You tend to mask yourself around the company of others, but allow yourself to expose what you were demanded to hide.

Step #2: Get that heart of yours ready to encounter a person it may have developed an opposition for. Whatever state your heart may be in, prepare it for a flood of emotions that may either soften the hardness your heart has, seep through the cracks that remind you of your previous pain, or have a flood so vicious that the pieces to your shattered heart sink or resurface in the pool of diverse emotions. Prepare your heart to feel because when it comes to your self image, the heart always has a reaction.

Step #3: With heart in preparation, sit yourself in front of a mirror and look into your eyes. Not at the small indents your pores create, not at the freckles sporadically scattered throughout, not at your lips, not at your nose as if you can get away with avoiding your eyes, no. Look in your eyes, deep inside them. You want someone to compliment the breathtaking pools that waver slightly in the center of your eyes, yet you don’t even stare into them yourself. Do more than just a quick glance and don’t shy away either. Your eyes tell such a powerful story, a story that your mouth sometimes refuses to tell. Look deep at the pain so heavy in your eyes, reminding you of all of those nights where you swore your place on earth was based off of an accident. Look even deeper at the strength you claim you don’t have even when you continue to fill your lungs with air. Look even deeper at the cries of help your eyes have screamed many times before, yet no one noticed, which led you to having to answer the cry yourself. Those moments where you had to be there for yourself because that message your powerful eyes have announced was dismissed by the world around you. Look deeper at moments like those where your eyes celebrate the fact that you have not given up and with that, look at the victory you won everyday by continuing to wake up, providing yourself the opportunity to see the day where your story makes an inspirational mark on someone else’s motivation. Stare not at yourself, but at your eyes. May your heart feel every sentence those eyes of yours speak.

#Step 4: Be silent for as long as you’d like as you stare at your eyes in the mirror. Continue the moment where you and yourself meet once again. Just remember that, yes, those eyes are powerful, but remember that your tongue is, too. Receive the message of your eyes, but speak back to it, for your tongue holds the power of life and the power of death. Too many times have you spoken the most calamitous words that could soil your heart while you were looking in the mirror. Too many times have you called out every flaw and blamed them for poisoning your chance to be beautiful. Too many times have you interrupted every opportunity to encourage yourself by ripping out your hair and smashing your teeth because you were convinced that there was no future for you to encourage. Enough of that. Enough of all of it. That’s not why you have a tongue, so you can beat yourself up with its words. No, it’s there to bring life and healing and you say you’ve always wanted to hear those sweet words, but you’ve shut your mouth when it came time to say them. Enough of that. Make no room for words of discouragement, but make no room for silence, either. Respond back to your eyes in the most powerful way possible and finally, speak life. Speak to the pain that is hidden in the pools of your eyes and thank it for pushing you to gain strength. Speak to the strength in your eyes and tell it that there’s going to be more where that came from. Speak to the cries of help that still hope for rescue and answer it by stating your commitment to always be there for yourself, to be gentle with yourself and to answer your eyes’ cry with the reminder that a victory is going to come from this. Speak to the small party your eyes hold, celebrating that your history in the making will continue to make victories, just by your strength to wake up every morning. Don’t hold back. Respond to the story your eyes tell with words that will make great chapters in your book. Continue to speak words of encouragement and of life.

Step #5: Control your tongue for the next step. It’s so used to speaking words of hatred, but the training to speak life starts right now.

Step #6: Now, it’s time to speak to your reflection - to the glasses on your face, to the size of your nose, to the freckles scattered from your forehead to your chin, to the beauty mark on your cheek, to the braces on your teeth, all of it. For so long, you have been comfortable with your own mouth assailing your reflection, along with being comfortable with your heart turning away in disgust. It’s time to reverse the normalcy of that. The bondage of that normalcy has to be broken. After responding to your eyes, it’s time to speak to what many consider as flaws and apologize to them for wishing on their nonexistence because the despondency of wishing that parts of your body would be gone is intense. Look at the glasses hanging from your nose and thank the design and the lens for giving you better chances to see. Look at your nose, no matter the size, inhale deeply and exhale slowly and thank it for assisting your breathing and allowing you to smell the sweetness of the day. Look at your freckles and thank it for uniqueness, for there’s no other pattern that could imitate it exactly. Look at the beauty mark on your cheek and ponder on how true the meaning of it is. It’s a beautiful mark made just for you and it’s been waiting for your words to remind it of its beauty. Smile. Smile as wide as you possibly can and look at those beautiful set of teeth, decorated with braces or not, and thank it for its contagion, for when you smile, others can’t help but to show theirs, too. The uniqueness that originates from its presence is priceless. Why discourage something so beautiful?

Step #7: After you are finished with encouraging yourself in the mirror, after you have said all that you wanted to say and cried all the tears you wanted to cry, leave the mirror and compliment yourself without a reflection. Feeling beautiful is more than just an outward thing, but it must take place on the inside, too, which means it is a necessity to make the heart feel beautiful, as well. As the day goes on and if you find yourself laughing, let your heart know how beautiful it sounds, for it symbolizes the exemption of being yourself and enjoying a moment that could sweeten the day. As the day goes on and if you find yourself crying, let your heart know how strong it is. As the day goes on and if you make a mistake, let your heart know how perfectly normal it is to be human. As the day goes on and there is no mirror present, compliment your heart. Train not only your mouth to speak in invigoration, but train your heart to be invigorated as well. Train it to not only be kind to yourself, but also kind to those in your vicinity. Never stop at loving what’s on the outside, but it’s the makeover on the inside that exposes the beauty.

Repeat these steps as many times in the day as you’d like, but make sure you do this at least once a day. Repeat this not only when you feel discouraged, but even at your highest point, so the reminder that you are beautiful will never fan out. Repeat so it becomes a natural routine, that you won’t even second guess the opportunity to complete these steps. Always keep that heart of yours in training to be gentle with yourself and kind to others, for confidence is not a self thing, but beneficial to those around you as well.

The purpose of this isn’t to get a big head, but a big heart. Encouragement is so powerful and it’s so beautiful to encourage yourself. It’s a necessity to encourage others as well.

—  To Believe You Are Beautiful Tutorial
Let’s talk about Silver some more

All right, @spanishgalleons,  I promised a reply, here it is, after watching that episode again. 

You said:

I would argue that Flint has never truly accepted all the parts of his past at any given time. It’s kind of the whole tragedy of his character. He twists his truth to fit his aims because it’s the only way he can survive. To me, in contrast, Silver at this point is a person who has accepted his past. I don’t think it’s an attitude he can carry on and I certainly think it’s something he has now learned from Flint. And I think he has been blindly working quite hard all season not to become him.

I think we have to make a distinction between your past as something that shapes you and as something that defines you. Both Flint and Silver are shaped by their past (an undeniable truth for every single human being that has ever existed, safe for the occasional amnesiac), but while Flint lets himself be entirely defined by it, Silver tries very hard not to let his past define him. Which is an admirable goal in itself, but I would argue that Silver is taking the whole thing a step too far by pretending that his past is not relevant to who he is.

Flint has been consumed by his past, that’s his tragedy: the fact that he hasn’t found a way to leave it behind. For Silver, his refusal to address his past - even in a conversation with someone he considers a trusted friend, someone who has confided in him and kindly asks him to do the same - is an avoidance that is equally tragic. It’s not born from acceptance, it’s born from denial. Flint is caught in the past because he has nothing to live for in the present, Silver is caught in the present because he cannot stand to look at the past. 

Of all the characters in this show, I think that Charles Vane and Max come closest to accepting their past by admitting that it shaped them, and accepting that it partly motivates them, but refusing to let it define them. When Max says to Grandma Guthrie, “What does it matter?” that’s a different thing because we, as the audience, already know the important things. We don’t expect Max to reveal her backstory to a stranger - it’s a rational choice for her not to disclose the details and extent of her suffering to a woman she’s just met. But as the audience, we’ve been there with her for some of her defining moments, and we’ve been told about others in an earlier episode. The entire situation is completely different than Silver’s refusal to reciprocate in a situation that is all about mutual trust between two people. 

Flint has revealed his past to Silver because Silver has asked. We can safely assume that Silver is the only person that Flint has ever willingly told this story. And Silver refuses to do the same. That’s not the behavior of a man who has accepted his past - it’s the behavior of a man who is scared of what he sees when he looks at it. 

And here’s the beautiful thing Flint says when they first start fencing: 

“Your opponent’s wrist is from whence the attack is born, but it’s its past tense, from which it cannot separate itself. The end of he blade by the time it arrives is its present tense, which also cannot be denied.”

If that doesn’t sum up the problem that Silver is facing here, it don’t know what does. Silver says that he has given up on trying to find any kind of coherence in his past. He’s refusing to attach meaning to it. But this lack of meaning - this lack of identity - leads to a dangerous void that only Silver’s present can fill. He lives in the moment because there’s nothing else, but that behavior is no less damaging than Flint’s inability to let go of his war.. 

As for Silver trying not to turn into Flint - well, he has quite obviously failed in that, and I think that on top of that, he’s pretty much in denial about it. Between the two of them, I think that Silver has an even greater capacity to delude himself. I think he’s fooling himself constantly about his share of responsibility in a lot of things. It’s been made pretty obvious in this episode, with Hands pointing out how Silver was perfectly fine with putting his men at risk, the exact same way Flint has put his men at risk in the past. But where Flint has done it in a way that is actually justitfiable, as somehow serving the greater good (even though we know that’s not why he does it), Silver doesn’t have that justification: his reasons are entirely selfish, caused by this lack of meaning in his past that is directly responsible for his current fear of losing everything he has won. As Madi points out, as Flint points out. Silver is entirely driven by fear.

That isn’t a man who is at peace with who he is. 

Very early on in their fencing training, Flint points out that Silver is “insinuating himself into other people’s stories”. That’s what happens when you have no own to tell, either for lack of glory (I think it’s entire possible that Silver has always been a bit of a pretender, and feels this constant need to hide his own unworthiness and perecived inadequacy), or because your story is so tragic and traumatic that you can’t bear to tell it. In any case, I think it’s pretty clear that what Silver is doing to cope is not a healthy and mature thing to do. 

Guys. This is so not OK. 

Lily Collins recently did a Netflix movie called “To The Bone”, which features a young girl struggling with anorexia. For the role, she had to lose a ton of weight in order to make the story believable. 

Now, to promote her new project, she’s doing interviews, appearances, etc. One of these includes appearing on the cover of Shape magazine, a magazine that prides itself in promoting healthy body culture. 

Wait….what?!

So what you’re telling me is this woman had to lose a ton of weight so that she could look anorexic in her movie, and now she is on the cover of a health magazine promoting that body as if it’s something that’s meant to be “goals”?!

What’s even worse, is that in the article (because I wanted to read it before jumping to conclusions) she talks about her diet, how she stays away from sweets and considers eating anything with sugar “splurging”, and that “exercise is everything”. 

This is not only glamorizing diet culture, it’s straight up glamorizing EATING DISORDERS. 

THIS IS NOT OKAY!!!!!!!

I did a little research on Collins and apparently she had an eating disorder as well, which like, baffles me beyond words. This woman struggled with bulimia and anorexia, so she decides to do a movie centering around a womans journey to recovery- OK that’s kind of an incredible act and I love the message (although I haven’t seen the movie, I’ve watched the trailer and I think it’s attempting to say/do the right thing). But then, she goes and plasters herself on the cover of Shape magazine, mere months after losing all this weight (which personally I think is a pretty dangerous thing to do for someone in ED recovery  but that’s not my business) and talks about diet culture and what she does to stay thin??!!?!??!

I’m seriously so disgusted, so angry, so frustrated and so let down right now. 

We have to stop this. We have to stop saying we “promote body positivity” and then literally act in ways that completely contract those sentiments. We have to stop giving girls these unhealthy aspirations to live up too and act like that’s what they should be trying to attain for their own image. 

What the magazine, and Lily, should have done, was taken this opportunity to create an article that centered around the movie, her own ED recovery, and the actual positive message that every body is beautiful (and that not eating/over exercise/denying yourself pleasure is never the answer to anyone’s problems). Your fat is not the enemy- it loves you, it protects you, it shapes you, it makes you beautiful

And for the record, I don’t want to thin shame here. I’m a thin woman myself, and Lily is beautiful, and in true body positivity we accept all shapes and sizes as lovable and wonderful and perfect no matter what. I really and truly do believe that. 

But both Lily, and Shape, have made a serious judgement error here. One that could, and probably will, seriously and negatively impact all the women who are already struggling on a daily basis to find love and acceptance within themselves. 

This is the most hypocritical and asinine thing I have seen in a long time, not to mention probably the most straight forward example of how terrible body culture is in this country. 

Disgusted and Disappointed, 

Kat xoxo

Spade Suit emoji review ♠

Apple: Nice shape. I like the smoothness of the curves. In my opinion the shading is not necessary, but it’s nicely executed.

10/10 would recommend

Google: It’s recognisable as a spade, but the point just isn’t pointy enough. And the… the thing at the bottom, the… handle? You know what I mean. It could be better.

5/10 would use in unimportant conversations

Microsoft: As always, Microsoft slaps us in the face with the offensively thick outlines. I want emojis, not the border between two countries. Combine that with the pathetically small handle and the “light black” look, and this attempt becomes an immediate no-no for me.

0/10 wrong colour

Samsung: Oh Samsung, why are you going for the “realistic” look on the spade suit? We don’t need these gradients. To be fair, the shape is acceptable, but learn to use a solid colour, please.

3/10 tolerable from a long distance

LG: I take it back. This shading is the most outrageous, scandalous, abusive abomination of a spade suit emoji I have ever had to look at with my own two eyes. Get it away from me.

-2/10 don’t make me get a knife

HTC: I see someone’s trying to be original here. Unfortunately, when it comes to a symbol like the spade suit, there just isn’t room for originality. Sorry, HTC.

1/10 take it out of the box

Facebook: Is that slightly blue? Colour aside, this is relatively satisfactory. There’s no ridiculous shading, and the handle is proportionate to the overall size.

7/10 could be pointier

Messenger: I like what they’ve tried to do with the highlights and shadows, but it looks a little blocky. However, I like this. This is a good emoji.

8/10 would draw this

Twitter: The emoji designers over at Twitter must have overheard me typing about the size of the handle on Microsoft’s spade. Well, if you’re still listening, you went a bit over the top. But the rest of the design is decent; it’s minimalistic and nicely curved.

5/10 would send to my brother

Mozilla: Another blue-tinted offering, this time from Mozilla. The curved parts are quite pleasing, but I can’t deal with the straight lines at the top. Good for stabbing people who you don’t quite want to hurt.

4/10 either make it a weapon or don’t

Emoji One: What can I say? Yes, it’s grey, but I like it regardless. Although I feel like the handle has just been forced up there.

7/10 would send to friends

emojidex: You know when I picked out the blue tint on some of the others? Well, that was just a tint. This is the sort of blue light that disrupts your circadian rhythms by 10 hours. The shape is horrible. The gradient is repulsive. The bright spot is disgusting. Take this away and incinerate it like the trash it is.

-10/10 if I ever see this again it will be too soon

Unicode: Aaaaaaaah, the simplicity of pure Unicode. The plain, flat black; no gradients, no added extras, no gluten. This is a solid, wholesome, unadulterated playing card depiction. Take a moment to digest the perfection sitting on your screen.

100/10 would get this tattooed

dear budding freelance writers

first off: i’m not a lawyer. this is all accurate to my knowledge but i’m not formally educated or trained in most of this, i just work around it and pick some stuff up

look i’m currently suffocating under crushing debt so i was like ‘hey i’ll see if there are any magazines taking submissions’ cause i may or may not get chosen but at least its something i’d be doing anyway and timelines and genre restrictions never hurt a girl

i ended up on this page (upwork) looking for “ghostwriters” and it’s laughable to downright insulting.

such as: “Hello, I produce [REDACTED]. So if you are looking for a recurring job as a freelance writer you came to the right place! Here is what I need: Someone who can be a good researcher. Don’t plagiarize. All books are run through plagscan and copyscape. They need to be 100 percent original. Timeliness - The faster you produce these (with quality) the more jobs you will get. This job will be recurring if you do a good job. I will pay a maximum of $10 per 1000 words. Lastly, by accepting this job, I will own all the rights to the book. This includes characters, places etc. I own all the rights. Thank you!”

there were SO MANY OF THESE. look. i work in intellectual property for my day job. so here’s the thing: if you, a creative, does a “work for hire” agreement, like the one above, that means anything you produce under this agreement does not belong to you. you have effectively “sold” your intellectual property aka the story and all is defining characteristics - people, places, plot.

WORK FOR HIRE AGREEMENTS ARE NOT BAD! i see a lot of pushback against them on tumblr which is baffling to me because in the real world they’re how many creatives make money - by selling their creativity. with tv shows, for example, their characters and plots and what not do not belong to the creator of the show. they belong to the network of the show because they paid for them. writers of episodes don’t own the creative content of those episodes - the network does. because the writers are “work for hire” aka they’re getting paid specifically for their creative content.

work for hire agreements are usually the most advantageous when the payer is hiring the creator for the execution of a project rather than the creation of it. for example: hiring a writer to create a story out of a detailed outline, or an artist to draw something under strict specifications. the more creativity aka intellectual property the creator must generate and ultimately sell the rights too, the higher the pay should be for the work. (should. i’ve seen instances where pay is less but something else is gained - like different rights or credits - and that’s equally as acceptable as long as it’s what the creator wants. the creator should gain something equal to the value of what they are selling. obviously)

so the idea that $10 per 1000 words of pure original content is in any way shape or form acceptable is absolutely ridiculous. most literary magazines, which pay way more, get some form of publication rights but you the author retain all ownership rights. they’re not paying you for your intellectual property, only their right to display it without you suing them for infringing on your rights as a creator and owner of original content.

know your worth. know your value. i don’t know how many of these ridiculous ads actually get takers, but please do not answer any of them.

your ideas and writing and talent are worth more than pennies

@luthorslesbian requested a bit of Pomona Sprout/Poppy Pomfery :) 

Pomona Sprout - the most up and coming Herbologist of her day - didn’t imagine falling in love at this point in her career. She imagined finding a woman to settle down with sometime far into the future, when she was ready to still her hardworking hands and live in a little cottage near the village of Kirke where’d she’d grown up, surrounded by a couple of acres of plants… Until then, she was happy with herself and her plants and her travel and her small group of close friends, who all seemed to be pairing off. 

She didn’t plan on her visit to Hogwarts to find a brand of Misery’s Mistletoe ending with a nasty rash. She definitely didn’t plan on Poppy, who had been the Hufflepuff Prefect when Pomona was a first year, to be up in the Hospital Wing…nor for the gorgeous woman she was suddenly presented with to be quite so adept at applying Essence of Dittany. 

They fit together so easily. It seems that one afternoon they’re getting reacquainted in Pomona’s favorite greenhouse, and the next she’s spending every spare moment in the little atrium of Hogwarts’ hospital wing, hoping for a few minutes with her love. She continues to travel, research, and write, but now she has something to come home to. Her dream of a comfortable little home gets closer and closer than she ever imagined - she no longer wants it in her seventies, she wants it now. 

When new Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, who’d been her Transfiguration teacher, offers her a job in sunny, beautiful Hogwarts, with her kind, wickedly smart girlfriend, and in front of hundreds of excited students to mold and shape, she accepts before he even sets the contract fully onto the table between them. She proposes that night, and Poppy agrees. Their wedding has more flowers than people - just how they like it. 

As they get older, their relationship becomes less charged and more comfortable. They take comfort in each other, seek advice and counsel, share everything. Their torrid, passionate arguments turn to bickering that no one ever really wins or loses. Their hungry kisses and frenzied passion turn to warm companionship and mutual pleasure. The fear one has in a new relationship disappears, and they are fully, completely, un-apologetically themselves. 

Their love, even if the students aren’t directly aware of it, brings calm and balance to the castle as it does to their own lives. 

10

SHADOWHUNTERS APPRECIATION WEEKS

     └ week 1 (April 17th-23rd): favourite moment

Nice Guys Finish Last (Jeff Atkins x Reader)

A/N: Sorry I haven’t been updating and writing well. Writers block and life kept me away. :/ I’ve got finals next week, so I have to study :’(

P.S. I did not double check for misspellings or if it made sense (I’M SORRY)

Chapter Summary: Anthony visits you at work.


05. The (Un)Fortunate

Y/N P.O.V.


It was Monday. A shitty Monday as you always described the first day of the week. Not only did you have school, but you had work right after.

Currently, Jeff was driving you to work.


“Want me to pick you up after?” Jeff asked, stopping at a red light. “I don’t know, if you want. But it would be nice.” You said like you were brushing off his offer but hinted a silent yes, not wanting to sound desperate and seem too dependent on him; after all, he takes you to and from home and school.

Jeff chuckled, steeping on the gas when the light turned green. “Hey, don’t feel bad. I don’t mind helping a friend. Plus…” he shot you a quick look. “Your dad’s been giving me gas money.”

“A-ha!” You let out a surprised laugh and Jeff snickered at your reaction.


“So, you guys have secrets now. That’s our thing, Jeffy.“ You pouted, slouching in the cushion and crossing your arms, acting like an upset child. "Listen, our secrets are meant to be kept only between us. I never said anything about keeping anyone else’s secrets.” Jeff peered at you again and winked.

Keep reading

said it before and i’ll say it again 

include more apple shapes in the body positive movement

just because my chubbiness doesn’t manifest itself in an hourglass figure doesnt make me less perfect

please showcase more girls with an apple shape

because seeing all these cute, fashionable, amazing chubby girls has made my self image go up a lot

but the fact that there’s still not a lot of rep for my shape makes me sad

Two years

Two lifetimes ago it seems like I walked into the doctor’s office and started the first medical step towards happiness. Blood tests had been done in the weeks before. I was terrified that something was wrong with me. Something else, that is, that would prevent me from starting to fix what was most important.

Everything looked fine and healthy, for a man my age. I was a little surprised at that; three years before I had a test with low testosterone. That was my first physical in at least half a decade. I got congratulated by the doctor on my weight loss. After the test I briefly looked up herbal methods to increase testosterone. Maybe having less than “normal” was something that if I fixed I would stop being depressed about my body. I decided that I was better off just continuing my diet and exercise.

Eventually I would feel like my body was betraying me. As I became more fit I was just more and more frustrated. I hated almost everything about me. I was too big, which I thought meant too fat. I was totally wrong. I kept exercising, kept trying to make my body into some acceptable shape. I eventually gave up hope in liking myself.

Two lifetimes ago I went down the elevator to the pharmacy. They had the prescription from the clinic, and I would pick it up there, and bring it back upstairs for them to give me the first shot. They didn’t have it right away, so I had to sit for a little while and they were dealing with other customers. Time passed slowly.

I was nervous, excited, and worried that I was making a big mistake. I was more worried that it wouldn’t work; I would react poorly, or my body would fight the therapy. I would have to figure out where to go from there, and I didn’t have a plan for things going wrong.

It was just a couple of months ago that I discovered this treatment existed. Growing up, I knew that people would dress up as girls, and that they might have surgery to get boobs. The presence of bottom surgery was something I vaguely knew about. I had zero idea about hormone replacement. Within half an hour from knowing it existed I knew I was going to do it.

For transgender people, the idea that you can fix your endocrine system and it will actually respond and work with you is like learning that magic exists. “Oh no! A wizard put a hex on me to be a girl and I have to pretend I’m not COMPLETELY FINE WITH THIS.” was a pretty strong fantasy. The real thing isn’t quite as quick but it’s nothing less wondrous. I don’t know what cisgender people think but when I learned that my body would feminize just by switching my hormones around, I was a million percent on board with that.

They called my name and the pharmacist probably said something but I didn’t really hear because the pills and the vial were in my hands. I had the magic in my hands. As I rode up the elevator I was still afraid it wouldn’t work, but I was determined to try. The nurse called me back and about three minutes later I had my first significant dose of Estrogen. I downed the Spironalactone pills, which would reduce the testosterone production, with some water from the fountain.

I remembered how clear and bright it seemed outside.Nothing had gone wrong, and while I smiled outside I was jumping for joy inside. I knew things moved slowly and this was probably a healthy catharsis from the nervous energy I had just an hour before as I worried in the waiting room.

Twenty minutes and a train ride later I was having coffee at the cafe at work and I got a text: “Feel any effects yet?”

I told her I thought things looked brighter. I felt more than anything like I could think clearly, and that a fog had been lifted from my brain. It was half an hour since the best health intervention I’ve ever made for myself and I knew I needed to have this forever.

That was just over two years ago, and so much has happened since. The slow changes came slowly and alleviated my fears. I sometimes look in the mirror and actually love what I see. I’m never sure when to give up on them giving me any more of what I desire either in facial changes, body shape changes, or breast growth.

Two years later and the medicine continues to work it’s magic. Psychological, physical, emotional, and social. Some changes that I honestly didn’t even dream. I know I have a long way to go, but that day is one of the most important days of my life.

azrielever  asked:

Like, what are your Headcanons about Jason, Percy, Nico and Will when they get older? Who becomes a silver fox and who loses their hair? Who ages gracefully and who looks like they pulled a deal with Satan and still look young for a middle aged man? Who mellowed with age and who's a grump? Who gets a pauch and who still looks in shape? Just general habits and body hcs as they get middle aged.

Ooooh that sounds interesting. 

I have a bad feeling all demigods age a little faster than the average mortal, they’ve had to carry the world on their shoulders and that left it’s marks. Anyway, here we go:

Percy starts greying first, not just because he has been through more in some ways. His hair’s black too, so grey stands out a lot more.
He’s grown a beard in his early twenties, and looks so much like his father it irritated Sally in the beginning.
He definitely does not mellow with age, still as much of a little shit and ready to start a fight at a moment’s notice. He’s somewhat wiser now though, and scarily powerful. He may not be able to move as quickly as 12yr old Percy could, but his skill accumulated over years of fighting and training and surviving is down right insane. 
Percy travels around for a while, he joins satyrs in finding new demigods. Percy’s in his thirties when he settles at camp as a teacher and helps Chiron run the place. He gets a room in the big house because he is not the only child of Poseidon anymore and doesn’t wanna creep the kids out.
He has devoted a lot of time to arrange good communication with Camp Jupiter, to have events together every now and again, and to help each other out when either is in trouble. He and Reyna grew to be close friends, who are jokingly bitter about the youngsters thinking they own the place.


Jason grows up nicely, he loses the puppy dog aura and a fair few campers have an awkward crush on him. He looks like that one teacher, with stubble and dark framed glasses, who loves all his students, always has a cup of tea and a jumper over his dress shirt. Unlike Percy, he definitely mellows with age, unless someone provokes him he isn’t quick to prove that he hasn’t lost any of his skill.
It took Jason a long time to come back to New Rome. Being in Camp Half Blood has shown him that a lot of things are going wrong in the Roman equivalent, that it is not a good environment for young demigods, that he’s been groomed to be a child soldier against his will. Eventually however, Jason grows up enough to realise that he has the power to change that. Reyna and Frank did a lot of work already, but it’s not enough yet for Jason. He makes sure the legion isn’t run by 15yr olds anymore, but by adults like him and Reyna who can shoulder the responsibility. Who can be a parental and authoritative figure to new demigods, help than settle and learn rather than mold them into a shape acceptable to Roman standards.
His wrinkles are mostly smile lines, and despite only a year difference, people always think he’s much younger than Percy. He never stops being the dad friend and fiercely supporting all those close to him


Nico is absolutely stunning in his twenties, there’s n other way of putting it. He grows his hair out to a nice length that can be put in a ponytail or a bun, he grows tall but loses his lankiness in favour of lean muscle and defined lines. He never grows a beard, he can’t, but he doesn’t want to either. 
Percy thinks he looks similar to Hades when Percy first saw him: graceful and elegant, dangerous like a panther waiting to pounce.
Later on, much to Percy’s dismay, Nico doesn’t go grey. His hair is raven black until late into his fifties (while Percy is pretty much flecked with grey from his early thirties on.) His face ages gracefully, little in the way of wrinkles and more in the way of sharpening angles. he looks like an aristocrat, or a king from another time.
Nico took up smoking in his twenties, for a few years until Will managed to convince him to stop. He gets a few tattoos - one to remind him of his sister, one as a reminder of the hardships he survived, one for the new family he found.
Campers look up to Nico more than he ever expected them to. He teaches a few combat classes alongside Percy, but he’s not always around. He still travels back and forth and all around the world, sometimes bringing new demigods with him, sometimes news from Camp Jupiter. While he’s around more often, it seems entirely impossible to pin him down to one place. Some things never change.


Will is like everybody’s favourite grandpa. He doesn’t even look that old, it’s his kind and warm personality that has campers flock around him whenever he visits camp. He’s gone to New Rome to study medicine, the traditional way, and consulted a lot with his Roman siblings there. They’ve had so much to learn from each other, entirely different methods for many things, and Will comes back to Camp Half Blood to share his knowledge with anyone who’s willing to learn. He runs the infirmary for years, but he leaves for a few months every year for organisations such as  Médecins sans Frontières (Doctors without borders? I don’t think that’s a thing in the US?) to help those in need as much as he can. 
Will ages gracefully. Like Jason, most of his wrinkles are smile lines, although he grows grey fairly early on as well. His hair is light, though, so it’s hardly noticable until Will is basically white haired. 

anonymous asked:

I've kinda been procrastinating working on my kit. As much as I want to be a part of the Mercs, be a part of making kids and people of all ages smile, and helping charities and such - I feel like the armor just accentuates my fatness. I know my depression and anxiety doesn't help and I know I'm not alone in my struggle, even if guys aren't as open about it. I just can't seem to get past thinking that I'll look horrible.

You are not alone. A lot of Official Members struggle with this all the time. One of the main ways to best combat this is to design your armor and use colors to direct the eye in a way that’s flattering.

First: Know your body and be honest to yourself. Know where your squish is and design for it, not against it. (Using a feminine example) Don’t design something for an hourglass if you’re apple shaped. It won’t look the same. Accept your shape and let it guide your design. Continuing my example, apple shaped bodies usually have awesome legs and broad shoulders! This looks awesome in armor and should be used to your advantage. Research fashion and see what experts say looks good on your body type, this can be a big help in shaping your design.

A good way to help is to make your soft parts the darkest parts of your armor. Your vest should be the darkest part to minimize your torso so your chest plates draw all the attention. My favorite “cheat” of sorts is to paint in a V-shape on chest armor. The darkest color paint you have will go on the outside of the V and your brighter colors will draw the eye up the chest and away from the waist. Even the shape of your plates can help. Make sure they are properly sized to your body. This can make or break a kit. For fem-Mandos, this goes especially for us because our breasts and body type can and will determine the style that looks best on us.

Dark colors and a few bulky accessories on the hips help as well. Kamas and loin cloths are an excellent way to cover your rear and thighs if you’re self conscious. Making the kama dark like your vest is a good idea to help you look sleek.

Practice posing with your armor on. Stand in front of a mirror, have a friend take pictures of you, anything. Find the angles that look good on you when you pose. Each event that you do will be a learning experience. Make mental notes about what does and doesn’t take a good picture. Posture is a big thing. Roll your shoulders back and keep your head high!

Another thing we have to accept by putting our armor on is that there are people out there who will try to make you feel bad about yourself no matter what you do. Be prepared for it. Know that it may come and let their words roll off of you. Those people and their comments are not worth your attention.

Getting out of your own head is another thing. Know that you have done a good job. Know that once you’re official, you’ve passed the test. Until then, talk to your Ruus’alor, post up work in progress pictures, ask for feedback. Ask for constructive criticism and use it to make the best kit you can. You won’t feel self-conscious when people come up to you and tell you how cool you look in kit or the whispered “whoa” as you pass by.

Hope this helps!

-Senaar

3

After 50 years of sporting an oft-criticized combo of thin waist, thin limbs and large breasts, Barbie finally has a new body. Actually, a few new bodies.
The new Barbie Fashionistas line features different body types—curvy, tall, petite—as well as varied skin tones, face shapes, and hair colors. A far cry from the Barbie of yesteryear.
Brilliant marketing ploy, now you need to buy a set of outfits for each body shape! 

Check out the commercial by BBDO San Fransisco below

fatpinkhairedfeminist  asked:

hey, I just saw this in your ask "So I recently learned about the origins of intersectional feminism and why a non-black person claiming it is appropriative. " I had no idea.. i did a quick google search, but didn't come up with anything on appropriation. Do you have recommendations on articles/blogs/resources to read on this? If not I'll continue to google and see what I can come up with, but i want to be SURE I get the right resources from someone who knows.

Of course! This seems to be a hot topic right now, so I’m happy to provide you and anyone else with resources.

Tumblr user strugglingtobeheard wrote a piece about a year ago on how White women using the term “intersectional feminist” to describe themselves is appropriative. The general gist of it is that because the term “intersectionality” was coined by a Black woman seeking to discuss and analyze the intersection of oppression specific to Black women (gender+race), White women cannot use the term because they do not live at that intersection. Because White women cannot understand how it feels to be Black, they cannot do justice to the original intent of the word. 

Here’s an excerpt for those who cannot read the full post now:

intersectionality is meant as a bottom up approach, not a top down approach. those with power cannot be “intersectional”. you are also not living intersectional experiences. intersectionality was always about exposing the ways Black women are caught up in multiple systems of oppression, namely race, gender and class, but often many more. it is meant to help Black women understand their experiences in a white supremacist patriarchal culture like the U.S. or much of Western nations that have applied this model onto most cultures from the outside. 

Shortly after that post, theroguefeminist made a PSA about it, saying that White feminists shouldn’t use the term because they experience privilege and try to use the term as a shield from being called out, etc. 

Here’s a snippet from that post:

Some of us like to think if we call ourselves “intersectional” then we’re not like ~THOSE~ white feminists those ~non-intersectional~ white feminists, but that’s not true. We are white feminists–we have white female privilege. We benefit just as much from white supremacy as anyone else and we are just as able to be racist and exclude, talk over, invalidate or ignore woc.

Another blogger, timemachineyeah, was doing research on the topic (just like you), and drew from both theroguefeminist and strugglingtobeheard’s posts, and others. The post was answered by strugglingtobeheard, who made a very interesting point on white women wanting to call themselves intersectional feminists:

White women really are not hands on. they want to be saviors and they want to be named and praised for what they have said but not what they do. and i think the focus on the naming is really an extension of that reality. what do you do? for women? for women of color? how are you applying the knowledge that women have intersectional experiences to your application of feminism? is feminism just an identity or is it how you live and do things?

And finally, here is a post from gradientlair, commenting on how Black feminists’ work in the field is often erased, while the credit is given to someone else. 

An apt bit here:

Womanism. Intersectionality. Matrix of domination. Misogynoir. Four of the many concepts that are fought tooth and nail to not exist[…] Subject to the scrutiny of imperialist White supremacist capitalist patriarchy (this is bell hooks’ combined term) and how it shapes epistemology. Eventually once accepted, then they are disconnected from its originators often for the purpose of silencing other Black women. There’s people who use the terms and ideas to push their agenda (agendas that usually exclude Black women) yet none of the originators are anywhere on their sites. […] when they discuss modern issues in feminism, they refuse to name Black women currently doing the work. They gladly name any White woman they’re referring to.

As for my thoughts on it, I’m of the belief that because anti-blackness is pervasive in every group, only those who can call themselves Black should be able to lay claim to the term “intersectional feminist.” This way, the term will always bring to the forefront the origins of the word. Though I also believe that everyone should apply intersectional theory to how they analyze oppressive institutions in general. 

I know this is a lot to read, so for a quick TLDR;

If you’re white, don’t call yourself an intersectional feminist because-

  • you do not experience the type of oppression that the term was coined to discuss
  • it has been used by white feminists as a shield to avoid being held accountable for bigoted actions or words
  • some white feminists fixate on it as a way to separate themselves from other white feminists in order to seem less problematic without putting in actual intersectional work (again, avoiding accountability)
  • intersectionality is often used without proper credit being given to the creators of the concept (Black women)
  • claiming it as a white woman erases Black women and pushes away the issue of anti-blackness

Hope all of this helped! And fellow Black/intersectional feminists, if I got something wrong, please add a response or send an ask!

-Mod T

anonymous asked:

actually not every fat person has bigger boobs, my gf weighs 100 pounds more than me, and my breast are way bigger than hers, it's my family genes, and even if some people's breast sure get bigger when gaining weights, it doesn't always work that way.

Indeed.
Every body is very interesting, and I’m hoping to explore that through my art as I continue improving body types.
Fat storage is all dependent on genes: some people are top heavy, others bottom heavy, some gain weight in the shape that is ‘acceptable’ to society (screw you society the body shouldn’t have an acceptable shape, because every shape is just 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼) and the list can go on.
Honestly, when I used to be fat (then ya know, puberty hit me and I became an awkward thin child that looked nothing like her childhood fat self that was often called ‘moon’ face) I used to put on weight very evenly and often wondered if I would of stayed fat if I would of put on weight like my moms side of the family (large hourglass woman) or like my grandmas side of the family (hourglass with a little bit more belly and larger thighs).