i was cleaning my room at home and i found a box my mom kept full of all my school work from when i was little. one of the things in there was this list from kindergarten. on the 100th day of school we did all these “100” themed activities and one of them was finishing the sentence, “i wish i had 100…” let me tell you, a genie would have a field day with all the vague as shit wishes we came up with. like little kids probably wish the most as an age group and yet they all suck at it. like, okay, katie wished for 100 dollars, right? but then sam comes in and she wished for 100 toonies. that’s 200 dollars! katie looks like a god damn idiot! but hold on because then jonathan wished for 100 monies, like, plural of money. so he wished for 100 different kinds of currency in any amount. that could be one american penny and then 99 penny equivalents or millions of dollars in euros and pounds and stuff. still, strange wish to leave open to interpretation.
keane, now keane had a more sensible take on the money wish. keane wished for 100 pieces of gold. a timeless metal coveted by ancient and modern cultures alike. clearly he knew something we didn’t.
what else did people wish for? ronald wished for 100 toys. shannon, i shit you not, shannon wished for 100 “boxes to put my toys in.” ronald was basically wishing just to get on shannon’s level while she was just like, “give me a gift card to the container store.” looking through the list there’s a lot of weird one upping. like a lot of weird passive aggressive stuff. katie b wished for 100 dresses, melanie countered with 100 fancy dresses. like she wanted dresses too, but had to clarify just to make katie b feel like she had shit taste. me, i wished for 100, get this, cats. you could not pay me to take a cat today, i want nothing to do with cats. apparently in kindergarten i wanted an insane, borderline illegal number of them. i have a feeling i was making this wish to impress someone else, like you know when you pretended to like a band in high school to have something in common with your crush? this was like that only magic and more…allergenic. my friend connor wished for 100 kitty cats. little baby cats. kind of a dick move, right? like you know i’d end up with 100 weird old cats, 179 eyes between them, all on their deathbeds. andre wanted 100 cars at what, age 5? he wanted to open a used dealership and needed inventory. joanne wanted 100 presents, which is different than wanting 100 of something more specific. like a present is a personal thing someone gives to someone else. she basically wanted people to think of her and get her something nice. i wish i could track everyone down and do an updated list. oh man, you know what i’d say if someone wished for 100 kitty cats? i’d wish for 100 pregnant cats. that’s like 200-700 cats or something. dammit connor where are you.
#7, “i’m sick of being treated like this.” For obimaul??
Hey what’s up, this is probably not what you wanted from this prompt but opppsss my hand slipped.
So welcome to Bad Fucked Up Shit Verse (find the previous episode here), stuff continues to go badly. Enjoy
Anytime an inmate’s shock collar was activated, an incident report had to be filed with the prison guards. Obi-Wan could barely read the words in front of him, but eventually he chose a box to tick.
Reason for disciplinary action: >The prisoner was being uncooperative<
Obi-Wan’s hands trembled as he signed the datapad and handed it back to the guard.
What had he done? The Council would soon discover this… no doubt they would review the security footage. He had been a knight for less than a year, but once his actions today came to light… he wouldn’t be surprised if the Council dismissed him from the order. Jedi didn’t torture prisoners… but Obi-Wan could find no other word for what he had done to the Sith. What he had felt when he did it.
Obi-Wan watched as the prison guard took the chip out of the datapad and moved to put it in a massive data card organizer at the back of the security booth. He opened a sliding rack, filed the card and then closed it.
“Excuse me,” Obi-Wan said hesitantly, catching the guard’s attention again. “When do you send out the reports about uh- inmate incidents?”
The guard practically laughed. “Kid, do you see that wall of organizers back there?”
Obi-Wan nodded numbly and the guard continued.
“Those are all the incident reports from the past day. If we sent out memos every time some had to shock a prisoner- we’d take down the holonet for an entire Coruscant block. Our computer will generate some statistics eventually, but these cards get wiped at the end of every quarter. We’d have warehouses of things if we didn’t.” The guard smiled, seeing Obi-Wan’s obvious discomfort. “Listen, I’d be suspicious if you didn’t have to file a report. That zabrak has given my best guards a run for their credits. Trust me, he’s used to that collar going off. When prisoners act like animals…” the guard shrugged letting his statement trail off for Obi-Wan to fill in.
Before he could stop himself Obi-Wan blurted out, “What about the security footage? Does that get… wiped?”
“End of everyday, unless my boys see something suspicious. Then it gets flagged for review.” The guard smiled knowingly, “But there’s a lot of footage to review in a prison this large… it’s impossible to catch everything.”
Obi-Wan nodded again, somehow feeling worse. It sounded like the Council wouldn’t hear about what had happened unless Obi-Wan told them… his stomach turned.
It was a week later and Obi-Wan was still a Jedi. Probably because he hadn’t told the Council what really happened the last time he had visited their Sith prisoner. That knowledge clawed at his insides, and he wished more desperately than ever he could confide in his master… Qui-Gon would have known how to handle this.
Instead, all Obi-Wan had now was his own padawan- the Skywalker boy, an entirely different source of stress and trouble. When Obi-Wan wasn’t getting dragged before the Council to discuss his progress with the Sith, he was being dragged there to discuss Anakin. They might as well give him a seat, he was there so often.
Though he would certainly rather be struggling along with Anakin right now than making his way down to the prison.
Obi-Wan handed his lightsaber over without even thinking, taking the remote control without looking at it and shoving it deep in his pocket like that might somehow make it disappear.
His feet took him on auto-pilot to the cell where he waited for the series of sirens and signals that locked the doors behind him and opened the ones ahead.
He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but the room was the exact same as he had left it. One half empty where Obi-Wan could walk seperated by an invisible barrier keeping Maul contained on his side of the cell.
The Sith had been waiting for him.
“Hello,” Obi-Wan said in a hard voice, at least the trembling had stopped. “Your medical reports look better this week.”
The Sith laughed darkly, “Disappointed I didn’t die of malnourishment?”
Obi-Wan just caught himself before he answered, the realisation that he had been hoping for that hitting him all at once.
“You still have information I need,” Obi-Wan managed instead.
Maul walked up closer to the barrier as he had the last time, Obi-Wan suppressed the urge to flinch and step away as he advanced. Though his hand did brush past his pocket, feeling the outline of the collar remote still there.
The Sith noticed.
“Then take it,” Maul suggested, “asking politely isn’t going to get you very far.
“You’ll lie,” Obi-Wan said flatly, “you’ll tell me anything I want to hear to make the pain stop. That’s not reliable information.”
“You overestimate your skills,” Maul laughed dryly, “I’d like to see you try to break me”
“I’m sure you would,” Obi-Wan suppressed a shudder as memories of his last visit swam in his mind. The Sith had been quite pleased with himself.
“You regret sparing me,” Maul continued to smile unnervingly, “It would have been so easy to kill me- no witnesses to see your execution strike. But now…” Maul sighed, “I think we both know this barrier is all that stops you.” Maul ran his fingertips along the the energy field. It sparked and crackled, no doubt burning his finger. But Maul paid it no heed.
“I don’t want to kill you,” Obi-Wan bit out, but even he could hear that the words sounded more like reassurance for himself.
“You’re right,” Maul said evenly, “I think you want something else. Tell me, master Jedi, what you would do if this barrier didn’t seperate us- if you had you saber?”
“Stop it” Obi-Wan nearly shouted, unconsciously throwing up a Force barrier like Maul had tried to attack him. “Stop talking.”
“Make me,” Maul hissed, clearly pleased at the reaction he had received, but Obi-Wan cut him off.
“Stop trying to manipulate me- I- I am sick of being treated like this! I won’t let you trick me into-” But Obi-Wan broke off, not sure what he meant to say. “I just won’t let you…”
They were both silent for a moment, Obi-Wan breathing hard trying to grapple his emotions back into some semblance of control.
“You want to know who else plots to tear down your Republic?” Maul asked quietly. “I can give you many names- some which you may be… familiar with.”
“Then just tell me,” Obi-Wan said bitterly, dragging his eyes back to meet the Sith’s.
“Come back next week and I’ll give you a name” Maul smiled, “But you must order the guards to remove this barrier.” He rapped his knuckles against the invisible shield.
“You’ll try to escape,” Obi-Wan said weakly, already knowing he couldn’t pass up this chance at intel.
“Take what ever precautions you need,” Maul said with faux kindness, “I’m sure you have all manner of chains and binders to inhibit me from escaping. You’ll be perfectly safe, master Jedi.”
“I’ll bring it up with the Council,” Obi-Wan said flatly, already pressing the control to summon a guard to open the cell door.
alright sit down everybody because I’m about to tell you all a little story of my friend Shannon. Shannon is a transgender girl that I’ve known and been close friends with since we were about 10 years old. She’s one of the most talented people I’ve ever met, an absolutely amazing dancer, actress, and singer. And now, the whole world is going to know all about it. For this month, J-14 magazine is featuring her as the “Real Life” story of the month, which is something they do every issue that highlights one ordinary teenage girl, just like Shannon. This is such a huge deal, because the more we see stuff like this in mainstream media such as magazines aimed at teenage girls, the more acceptance people like Shannon are going to get in their everyday lives. This is such a huge deal, and I’m so incredibly proud of Shannon for everything she’s accomplishing. Pleeeease reblog this to spread the word, share it on facebook, instagram this picture or one of you holding the issue using #shannonj14, tweet it, spread this like wildfire because this is such a huge deal to me, to her, her family, and trans teenagers and allies everywhere.
also here’s some of Shannon’s links to social media stuff, check her out!
Title: Did You Miss Me? (Part 2) Pairing: Reader/Officer Novak Summary: Reader has always had a very… complicated relationship with her friend Claire’s father. Words: 1,877 Warnings: Smut, language, NSFW GIFS
I think my favorite part about It Must Be Nice from Hamilton is that it is literally that one VeggieTales song from the Daniel and the Lion’s Den ep about the vegetables wondering what they’re going to do about the pharaoh liking Daniel more than them except about American history and honestly that’s just fantastic and hysterical