shane hawley

'Love You' by Shane Hawley
Be patient
Because I love you a lot
But I want to love you
Like the weight of a freight train crashing into your chest
Like a slow motion sunrise on rewind
Like the Valentine’s time bomb that I mailed to your address
I want to love you like spam
So mushy that it’s gross yeah
I wanna love you like that

I wanna love you like Spiderman
All sticky and clingy and shit
And like Batman, all hardcore and repressed
And like Wolveriene
Which I should not have to spell out for your people
And I wanna love ya gently
Like ducks

I wanna love ya like water is wet
Like martinis are dry
Like when limbos get low
And when skaters get high yeah
I wanna love ya like that

I wanna love ya like anything in Old English
Amazing but impossible to understand
I wanna love you til it freaks you out
Like the church of Scientology or Michael Jackson’s face

I wanna love ya hard like calculus
Easy like cheerleaders
Soft like chinchillas
And sensitive like hair triggers

I wanna love like when the heavens open up
And the stars start to dance on a pitch black tapestry
And the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie

I wanna love ya
Like the abominable snowman loves his little bunny rabbit
Like Mr. T loves gold chains and pitying fools

I wanna love ya like dogs love Frisbees
Like Pyramus loves Thisbee
Like Santa Claus does chimneys
And like my dad loves whiskey
Yeah, I wanna love you like that

I wanna love ya gorgeous like a beauty queen
Psycho like a drama queen
And fabulous like a drag queen yeah
I wanna love ya like that

I wanna love ya like the one couple in this room who had really great sex last night
Mixed
With the one couple in this room who fell asleep in front of the TV last night
So that for the rest of our lives
During every commercial break
We go at it like animals
I wanna love ya like that

I wanna love ya like Christina Agulierra is dirty
Like Eminem is white
Like Carson Daily is lame
And like Katy Perry sucks
Or at least how I imagine she sucks

I wanna love you like Tom Cruise
All types of crazy baby
I wanna love ya like Jessica Simpson
Hot
And really slow yeah
I wanna love ya like that

I wanna love ya like bears give hugs
Like wind-chimes slow dance
Like raindrops kiss foreheads
And like hands read braille

I wanna love you broken like morse code
Humble like pie
Always like taxes
And perfect
Like the distance from your eyelashes to my glasses

I wanna love ya like driving in a Minnesota winter
A little scary because its impossible to stop so be patient
Because I love you a lot
But one day I’m gonna love ya like that
My ten favorite slam poems of all time
  1. “God Is” by Shane Hawley

  2. Repetition” by Phil Kaye 

  3. If I Should Have a Daughter” by Sarah Kay
  4. I do” by Andrea Gibson
  5. Wile E. Coyote” Shane Hawley
  6. Worst Poetry” by Sarah Kay
  7. I am Nerd” by Omar Holmon
  8. What Teacher’s Make” by Taylor Mali
  9. I Wanna Love You” by Shane Hawley
  10. Blue Blanket” by Andrea Gibson

I need to listen to some other artists and other poems. But goddamn. I love all these poems. They make me want to make my poems even better.

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Shane Hawley - Wile E. Coyote

Watch on rachaelslur.tumblr.com

Be Patient.
Because I love you… A LOT
But I wanna love you like the weight of a freight train crashing into your chest
Like a slow motion sunrise on rewind
Like a valentine’s time bomb that I mailed to your address

I wanna love you, like spam… so mushy, that it’s gross.
Yeah, I wanna love you like THAT.

I wanna love ya like Spiderman
All sticky and clingy and shit and
Like Batman, all hardcore and repressed and
Like Wolverine, which I should not have to spell out for you people
And I wanna love you gently… like ducks.

I wanna love you like water is wet
Like Martinis are dry
Like when limbo gets low and like hippies get high
YEAH, I wanna love you like THAT

I wanna love you like anything in Old English
Amazing, but impossible to understand

I wanna love ya until it freaks ya out
Like the church of scientology or Michael Jackson’s face

I wanna love ya hard like calculus
Easy like cheerleaders
Soft like chinchillas
And sensitive like hair triggers

I wanna love ya like when the heavens open up
And the stars start to dance on the pitch black tapestry and the moon…
Hits your eye like a big pizza pie

I wanna love ya like the Abominable Snowman loves his “little bunny rabbit”
Like Mr. T loves gold chains and pityin’ fools
I wanna love ya like dogs love frisbees
Like Pyramus loved Thisbe
Like Santa Claus does chimneys
And like Grandpa loves whiskey YEAH
I wanna love ya like THAT

I wanna love you gorgeous like a beauty queen
Psycho like a drama queen and
Fabulous like a drag queen

I wanna love ya like the one couple in this room who had really great sex last night
MIXED with the one couple in this room who fell asleep in front of the tv last night
So that for the rest of our lives
During every commercial break
We go at it, like animals, YEAH
I wanna love ya like THAT

I wanna love you like Christina Aguilera is dirty
Like Eminem is white, like Carson Daly is gay
And like Katy Perry SUCKS
Or at least how I imagine she sucks… you know I don’t know…

I wanna love ya like Tom Cruise baby… all types of crazy
I wanna love ya like Jessica Simpson… HOT and REALLY SLOW YEAH
I wanna love ya like THAT

I wanna love ya like bears give hugs
Like wind chimes slow dance
Like raindrops kiss foreheads
And like hands read braille

I wanna love you broken like Morse Code
Humble like pie, always like taxes
And perfect like the distance from the tips of your eyelashes to my glasses
I wanna love you like driving in an ice storm… fucking SCARY
Because it’s impossible to stop

So be patient
Because I love you a lot
But eventually I’m gonna love ya LIKE THAT.

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I just, damn. In this poem Shane Hawley manages to be both amusing, and explain the truth of addiction through the character of Wile E. Coyote from the Coyote and Roadrunner shorts.

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Shane Hawley, “Wile. E. Coyote.”

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National Poetry Slam: Shane Hawley

 

this poem is unbelievable. the imagery, and extended metaphor he creates is crazy. 

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Shane Hawley - “In Restaurants”

“You are worth more than the fifteen minutes he spent embarrassing you tonight.”

Shane Hawley, 2010 NPS Champion, long-time slam poet and general goofball. America’s least likely ladies’ man.

Watch on professor-remus.tumblr.com

Never getting over this poem

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Shane Hawley expresses frustration exquisitely.

“It is the curse of an addict to chase the thing that destroys you.”