Warnings: Mentions of an abusive relationship and swearing
Your hands shook
as you stood in front of the door of the Gallagher house. You had been here before a plethora of times
in the past, but ever since Carl had gone to prison, your friendship just wasn’t
the same. The two of you had drifted ever
since he had come back. You stayed
occupied with your same old activities and Carl had fallen into a life of
criminal activity. And that was exactly
why you were here. For the first time
since he had been let out of juvie, his current lifestyle could potentially help
you. Pushing your nerves aside, you
finally knocked on the door.
the door flew open to expose an all-too-familiar face. “Y/N, hey!
Long time no see. Come on in,”
Fiona said warmly, pulling you into an embrace before stepping aside. “It’s nice to finally see a familiar face
coming here for Carl. I think he’s
upstairs in his room.”
Fiona. It’s nice to see you too,” you
commented, forcing a smile for her.
Sucking in a deep breath, you slowly began to ascend the staircase. You were nervous, but you needed to do this. You needed to do this before it was too
late. Once you reached Carl’s bedroom,
you forced yourself to knock, only opening the door once you heard a mumbled ‘come
in’ from the other side.
Carl was laying
down on his bed, but immediately shot up into a seated position when his eyes
set on you. “Y/N, hey, it’s been a while,” he said brightly, a large smile
forming across his lips. It didn’t last
long though. Moments later, he cleared
his throat and forced the excitement out of his eyes, maintaining his recent
swagger. “I mean, hey. What’s up?”
you quietly closed the door behind you. “I
know we’re not really as close as we were before, but I need to ask for a favor
from you.” You bit down hard on your
lower lip, looking down at your feet.
yeah. Sure.” Carl swung his legs over the edge of his
bed. “What is it?”
Taking in a deep
breath, you finally allowed your eyes to meet his again. “Word around school is that you were selling
guns for a while. Do you still sell
“Guns? Yeah, I still sell them,” Carl replied,
furrowing his brow in confusion. It took
a few moments, but what you were implying eventually registered in his
mind. His eyes went wide. “Wait, what?
You want me to sell you a gun?”
You nodded your
head quickly. You just wanted this to be
over with. “Yeah, I do.”
That was when
Carl broke out into a fit of laughter. “You? A gun?
What could you possibly need a gun for?”
quickly feel the anger bubbling up inside of you. With all that you had been through, you
really didn’t need this right now. “Do
you fucking ask that to any of your other customers?”
would not stop laughing. “Y/N, I’m not
selling you a gun. There’s no reason you
could possibly need a—“
That was when
you lost it. Cutting him off, you balled
your hands into tight fists. “Stop
acting like you fucking know me and what I need. You might’ve known me before, but you don’t
anymore. Just like I don’t know you
anymore either,” you snapped, taking a few steps closer to him. “Just because you wear your hair like that
and walk around all different now doesn’t make you tough. You’re not.
Some people actually have real problems.
Remember how right before you went to prison I was dating that guy David
and I said things were starting to go downhill?
Yeah, I broke up with him after the first time he hit me, but that didn’t
stop him. He still manages to corner me
and do all of these awful things and all I really wanted was a gun to scare him
off—not even to kill him—but I fucking guess not. You know what? Fuck you, Carl.”
stopped. Carl’s expression fell, all
emotion draining from his face. “W-Wait,
You were too
worked up. Too upset. Too exhausted. “Just… Just fucking forget about it. Knew I wouldn’t be able to count on you.” You knew you were about to cry. As your eyes started to well up, you spun
around on your heel and stormed out of the room, ignoring Carl as he called out
your name and got up from his bed.
Wiping your eyes and covering your face as you crossed through the kitchen
so Fiona wouldn’t see, you ran out of the house and all the way back home.
You felt worse
than ever. Now you weren’t only scared,
but embarrassed. Ashamed. Your day had started off hopeful, but now you
felt defeated. Nothing would change now.
The next few
days came as a total shock to you. Your
ex-boyfriend didn’t corner you in the hallways at school. He didn’t even follow you on your walks back
home from school or to work. He was
completely absent. Still, you were
nervous. This peace couldn’t last
A knock on your
front door caused you to jump while you were in the middle of doing your
homework. Your heart began to
pound. This was it. He was back again.
Standing up on
quivering legs, you reached under the couch and grabbed the baseball bat you
had hidden there before. Since Carl had
let you down, it was the weapon you’d have to resort to. Inhaling deeply, you approached the door and
forced yourself to pull it open.
“Y/N, hey…” Not the person you expected. A confused Carl stood on your doorstep,
holding an enormous bouquet of roses. He
looked different. In fact, he looked
like the Carl you had known before. His
hair was flowing freely and he was dressed in his regular attire.
A sigh of relief
escaped your lips because it wasn’t your ex-boyfriend, but you still remembered
what had occurred with Carl the last time you saw him. He had made you feel weak and
embarrassed. “Didn’t I tell you to fuck
off? I don’t want your gifts,” you spat,
attempting to slam the door closed.
Carl put his
foot in the doorway and used his strength to squeeze through the opening until
he was inside. “Y/N, I need to talk to
you,” he began, leaning his back against the closed door and looking at you
with sad eyes. “I’m sorry for laughing
at you. I probably made you feel really
shitty and that’s not okay. I realize
that now. I had no idea what you were
going through and I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge. I’m really sorry and I hope I’ve been able to
make it up to you.” He held the flowers
out to you.
Taking a few
steps back, you placed the baseball bat down on the table where you had been
doing your homework. “You really think
some flowers are going to make that up to me?
Because, trust me, it’s not. I
needed a gun, not fucking roses.”
Carl walked past
you into your kitchen, going through the cabinets until he was able to find a
vase. After filling it with water, he
put the flowers inside, following you into the living room and placing the vase
in the middle of the table. Completely
ignoring your comments, he asked, “Has he come around the past few days?”
arms over your chest, you plopped back down on the couch. “No, he hasn’t. But no worries, he’ll be back soon enough.”
hostility, Carl took a seat beside you on the couch. “No, he won’t.”
You were getting
more and more annoyed each second that passed.
Who was he to guess the next time your ex-boyfriend would decide to pay
you a visit? “Yeah, he will. He always does. Carl, you don’t even fucking know him.”
Carl reached out
his hand and rested it on top of yours, which you hadn’t even realized was
still shaking from the time you heard the knock on the door. “Relax,” he murmured softly, beginning to
massage your hand with his thumb. “He’s
not coming back. I promise. I took care of it. Of him.”
When your eyes widened, he shook his head. “No, I didn’t kill him, Y/N. Just made sure he’d be too scared to even
look in your direction again. It’s gonna
be okay. You’re safe now.”
believe what he was saying. Why would he
do this? Pulling your hand away from
his, you inched back a bit. “Carl, he
could’ve hurt you,” you said, pulling your knees up to your chest. “You could’ve just let me take care of it.”
“No, Y/N. I couldn’t have.” He grabbed your hand yet again and began to
play with your fingers. “After you ran
out on me, I really thought about what you said. Even if you had just told me why you needed a
gun right away, I still wouldn’t have given it to you. If he hurt you when you were unarmed, I don’t
even want to think about what he would’ve done to you if he had found out you
had a gun on you. He could’ve killed
you.” His concerned eyes found yours
again. “I could never put you in that
danger. Even though I haven’t shown it
recently, I care about you far too much.”
He really meant
it. You were really safe. For the first time in months, a weight had
been lifted off of your shoulders.
Without a single word, you leaned forward and wrapped your arms around
his body tightly, burying your face into his chest. You couldn’t control your emotions. Tears began to stream from your eyes. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled into his chest.
“Hey, hey. You don’t have to apologize for
anything. I deserved to be yelled
at. Don’t say sorry, just say thank you,”
he said with a chuckle, pulling back to look at you. The smile immediately fell from his
face. “Please… Don’t cry.” His hand comfortingly squeezed your arm.
his hand gripped where one of your bruises happened to be, causing you to
flinch. You grabbed his hand off of your
arm and laced your fingers with his instead.
“Sorry… There’s… Yeah.”
He knew exactly
what you meant. The frown wouldn’t leave
his lips. “I just… I just don’t
understand. I don’t understand how
somebody can do that to another person.
To you.” He shook his head, his
eyes scanning your clothing-covered body.
“Should’ve killed him when I had the chance.”
enough. Wouldn’t want you to end up back
in prison.” You forced a half smile.
eyes continued to scan you up and down. “I
want to see.”
your fingers, Carl’s eyes met yours again.
“I want to see what he did to you.
I just… I just need to know what he did.”
A lump formed in
your throat. “It’s ugly… I don’t let
anyone see,” you whispered, looking down at your lap. “But… I guess you deserve to after all of
this.” Inhaling deeply, you hesitantly
gripped the fabric of your hoodie, slowly pulling it over your head. Following this, you stood up and pulled down
your sweats, stepping out of them. You
and Carl had been friends for a long time, so he had seen you in just a bra and
underwear on numerous occasions, but you had never felt so exposed.
Carl sat on the
edge of the couch, his eyes slowly scanning you up and down, taking it all
in. In the dim light, it almost appeared
as though his eyes began to tear up a bit.
“Wow…” he breathed, shaking his head.
“I just… How…” He was at a loss
Shaking your head,
you wrapped your arms around your stomach, trying to hide at least part of your
body. “I know,” you muttered, taking a
step back. “It’s… ugly. It makes me feel ugly.”
“Don’t ever say
that.” Carl got up from the couch,
kneeling down in front of you. His
fingers ghosted over one of the bruises on your thighs. “The things he did to you were ugly. But you could never be ugly.” He pressed his lips to the mark on your
thigh, causing you to shiver. “You’re
beautiful. So beautiful. Always have been, always will be.”
eyes, you allowed him to press his lips against each of the marks on your
body. He slowly made his way up to your
stomach, and then your chest and collarbones.
With each kiss, you were able to calm down a bit more. Each time, his lips barely touched your skin,
as though he was afraid he’d hurt you.
Finally, he made his way to the top and stood up completely, staring
down at your face. You had never seen
Carl act so passionately in his life, and it was making your heart pound.
You allowed your
eyes to open, looking up to meet his gaze.
His eyes wouldn’t leave yours.
His blue orbs were glowing with nothing but adoration, causing you to
blush and look down at your feet. Your
stomach was in knots. How could he have
possibly seen you in this state and be looking at you so admiringly?
“No, look at me,”
he urged quietly, lifting your chin with his index finger. Once your eyes were on his, he rested his
forehead against yours and inhaled sharply.
“This might kind of ruin the moment but I feel like you deserve to be
asked for permission for once. Can I
kiss you?” Blushing slightly, he bit on
his lip. “I mean, like, yeah I was just
kissing your bruises before but I mean actually—“
Cutting off his
rambling, you leaned up and pressed your lips against his. His lips at first responded slowly and gently,
but once you deepened the kiss, he added a bit more force as well. Not breaking the kiss, he took a few steps
back and sat down on the couch, pulling you into his lap. His lips only pulled back when he gently
placed you onto the couch, moving on top of you without putting any of his
weight on you.
“Tell me when to
stop,” Carl whispered breathlessly, kissing down your jaw until he reached your
neck. A gasp escaped your lips as he
started to suck on the skin, your eyes closing as he continued to work on
it. “You know, not all of the marks on
your body have to be made out of hate.” He pulled back, admiring what could
only be a hickey.
For once, a
small smile tugged at the corners of your lips.
You didn’t feel ugly. You felt
wanted. Reaching down, you started to
pull his shirt up.
His hand stopped
yours, giving it a squeeze. “Don’t feel
like you have to. Don’t feel like you
owe me anything.”
You shook your
head at him, moving his hand away and pulling his shirt over his head. “I don’t feel like I have to. I want to.”
Giving him a reassuring smile, you reached down to unbutton his jeans.
From his body
language, it was clear that he wanted to as well. “Okay, just promise me you’ll let me know at
any time if you want to stop or if I’m hurting you. Please.”
Gently, he helped you remove the rest of the clothes off of the both of
And that was
that. In that night, you crossed over many
boundaries. You crossed the boundary
from worthless to worthy. From abandoned
to wanted. From hurt to healing. From degraded to loved. And with Carl, you crossed the boundary from
friends to something much more. And that
something was all you had needed.
Thank you to those of you who have liked/reblogged/commented on my other imagines so far. Means a lot. It’s 2am and I’m about to pass out but I should be posting again in the next few days. Hope you enjoy. xx