shameful existence

their first “couples” shirts (naruto picked them out)

If marathons exist for people to prove that they’re intrinsically better than you, ultramarathons exist to shame you for drawing the same air as their participants. And Australia’s Westfield Sydney to Melbourne Ultramarathon is the pinnacle. The event consisted of a 544-mile run – we’d give up on driving that – across brutal and unforgiving territory. So imagine everyone’s surprise back in 1983, when a 61-year-old potato farmer named Cliff Young lined up right alongside the strapping young gods and goddesses that normally go in for this sort of thing. Literally toothless, dressed in gumboots and long trousers, he ran in a weird old-man shuffle. Cliff further revealed that he was a virgin who still lived with his mom – as though that needed elaborating.

By the end of day two, Cliff was not only markedly less dead than everyone expected, but had a sizeable lead on his competitors. This was largely due to his coach/insane friend Wally Zeuschner who, after an exhausting first day of running, accidentally set Cliff’s alarm clock for 2AM. For the remainder of the race, Wally was right there, informing Cliff that sleep was for pussies, and hacking off foot blisters with a rabbit knife. When Cliff shuffled his way into Melbourne, he wasn’t just ahead of his competitors – he was miles and miles ahead, having knocked a good two goddamned days off the previous record for the course.

5 People Who Ruled At Things They Had No Right to Even Try

(( OOC: So I had to pick my car up from the garage straight after filming. And instead of explaining to the mechanic why I had purple eyebrows, I chose to completely ignore the situation. Until, of course, he asked me.

But instead of trying to make up a relatively normal-sounding excuse (photo shoot, makeup experiment, ANYTHING) … I said I had an accident with some hair dye??

So let’s hope my car never breaks down because I cannot show my face there ever again. ))

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: i'll forever be mad at the fact that colin farrell never got the appreciation he deserved for his stellar performance as bobby pellitt in the american black comedy film horrible bosses (2011); considering all the effort farrell had put into making his already gross character look even more despicable. the fact that farrell, a devastatingly handsome man, had chosen to make his character look like the human version of a sewer rat, complete with a terrible comb-over, pot belly and an absolutely disgusting personality (all of these being his personal inputs to the characterization of pellitt), only show how serious he is about his work. and yet, despite the fact that bobby pellitt was the literal personification of a trashcan, people loved him, a few probably feeling bad when he was killed. after all this, seeing how he never got appreciated as much as he should have, upsets me greatly. even today.

anonymous asked:

I saw an account on Twitter saying that SOTT is predicted to debut a #4 on the Hot100 !! Good, right?

oh?? i saw 5 last time, so that’s huge!! and yeah that’s incredible!! especially with the spotify snafu && the fact that the song isn’t getting huge spins on radio!! 

#(PS: If you’re reading the tags Trevo: what about GrimmNel -if ya don’t mind me asking out of curiosity? I’m a lil’ confused about the pair)

I always read tags ;D

The substantially shorter answer of as to why I dig Grimmnel:

Keep reading

dear people who see this: im so sorry

“You are my extraordinary relationship” is the gayest thing I’ve ever heard.

Riley and Maya were soulmates and no one can convince me otherwise.

anonymous asked:

you all pocs are always so salty and aggressive and easily offended because you deep down know that the white race is the highest and the best race. i get that, and i feel sorry for you all. i too would be very sad if i wasn't white.

This is the most disgusting racist piece of shit ive had to read on this site ohhh boy. idk how people like you exist, shame on your parents.

youtube

It’s probably been too long since you’ve seen this video. 

greenkneehighs  asked:

Trappist-1 makes me laugh because Trappist monks brew beer so now I'm just imagining a Star Trek universe where people visit the Trappist-1 to get wasted on beer brewed by space monks.

this is amazing and i love you

the Trappist system have found a way to get along, and a great many centuries have passed since the last war ended in a sulky peace. each planet returned to their homes and got piss drunk. decades passed in nearly no communication between the planets as they quietly got over their resentment and made various alcohols. Each planet got very good at their preferred drink. 

The second planet, where it is unbearably hot, live underground because even though all the planets are tidally locked (i checked, that seems the most likely option, which is a shame, but hey, Remans exist) theirs is the hottest soil. So they live underground and grow their edible roots and make their vodka with ice and they love it. It is an awful colour for vodka, but they’re mostly blind so they don’t give a fuck.

The third planet, comfortably in the habitable zone, has a ring of rainforest-esque flora and they make some damn good rum. They live in their trees and have still got their large climbing claws, but they have developed modern methods of movement, they have escalators and moving platforms, and so on. They like their rum.

The third planet have sooo many rivers and the habitable ring resembles venice or just straight up pirate ships depending on the area. These guys have the best. fucking. grape. vines. wine up the ying yang. These guys are wine mums personified with gills.

The fourth planet, the last one with life, is fucking cold. Any day over freezing temperature is a day for a party. These guys go for beer, and they go hard. How tf are you gonna sleep if you don’t have alcohol thinning your blood so that you don’t freeze cos it’s so fucking cold. They got beer, blubber, and hard, leathery skin. Rockin.

They finally meet up again, 50 years having passed and the treaty demanding contact. Each planet brings a gift to the banquet, and each one brings their drink. There is some confusion and awkwardness at first, but then they realise that they’ve all brought alcohol, and maybe they have a bit more in common than they’d thought. 

RE: Emma’s flowered sweater

A concept: not making judgments about a woman’s sexuality and character based on what she chooses to wear. 

For self-proclaimed feminists, these narrow-minded criticisms display a shocking lack of progressiveness. We wouldn’t consider a woman wearing a hijab as any less of a feminist, so why is it okay to demonize the lady sporting a flowered shirt? And why is this female clothes shaming allowed to exist anyway? Why is clothes bias any more acceptable than slut or fat shaming? Making assumptions about a person’s character or sexuality based on what they wear is the most backwards ass, anti-feminist bullshit there is. It’s yet another way for society to pigeonhole women and force them into narrow categories and I say “FUCK THAT NOISE.” 

And, BTW, if you wanna actually earn the feminist label, you might wanna stop constantly attacking Emma & Jmo. Because that shit ain’t cute. And nowhere in the annals of feminism did constantly tearing down a woman become a legit, sanctioned practice.