shame-shame

When I was born I was diagnosed with cystic hygroma. The cyst had covered the entire left side of my face. For the first few years of my life I stayed at Johns Hopkins Hospital. I had to have many procedures done to have the cyst removed. Sadly I was left blind in one eye and deaf in one ear. I also have no control over the left side of my mouth. But I dont let any of these things stop me! It’s taken me 30 to get this mindset though. I wasted to many years not liking myself and feeling upset over having cystic hygroma. But I refuse to feel that way anymore, so I decided to start vlogging. Its something I always wanted to do but I was to scared to do it because of the way that I looked.I’m glad that vlogging, the #blackoutday and the Tumblr community have helped me to come out of my shell. http://youtu.be/U7EM5_GCFfk #NoShame

9

it’s no shame day!

i was born with celiac disease which went undiagnosed for the first four years of my life. as a result, my body wasted away and i lost all muscle mass and the ability to gain it or really grow. a hospital stay when i was 5 also left me with two 90 degree curves in my spine for which i wore a back brace until i had major fusion surgery when i was 12. however, i’ve been on a gluten free diet since i was ~5 and have been stable and healthy since then! i’m 21 years old, weigh ~55 pounds, and probably will my entire life. i can’t lift more than a pound or so, and i am totally reliant on other people for daily living. 

i chose these full body pictures because they weren’t something i was comfortable with until the past few years. it’s been a long process of learning self acceptance and self love, and i’m definitely still working on it. i’ve been inspiration porn, i’ve been very upset by inspiration porn, and i’ve danced along the fine line between them. in this, i’ve loved finding support in other disabled people and love to reciprocate. the disabled community is one of the largest (we are the largest minority in the world), most accepting communities i’ve found and i urge anyone who is disabled to learn from each other! i’ve learned not to suppress feelings of sadness, anger, frustration, etc with my body, but to acknowledge them and learn. reach out!!! odds are, someone has a word or two of advice about the same feelings you’re having (my ask is always open).

in a few months, i’m graduating with my bachelors in chemical engineering and will begin to pursue my PhD. (above you can see me ~doin science and shakin fins with the president of my university) i am proud of myself and my body and what i’ve accomplished and i feel #noshame. 

2

i heard it was #NoShameDay yesterday and i thought maybe i could join, even if its late.

my name is frei and im a 17 year old dude with severe laryngomalacia, which means that my throat closes up and that makes me unable to do any physical exercise that can render me out of breath. walking in a higher pace than really slow can sometimes be a challenge. this makes it really hard also having recurring panic attacks that make me hyperventilate and then not be able to breathe.

i played soccer for 11 years before i was diagnosed a few months back, and there is nothing that can be done about it in my case. i will probably never be able to do that again.

i was scared of posting this, but no shame, right?

2

Well can i join in no shame day?

I was born deaf due to a growth in my ears. I had serious anger problems as a young kid and was hospitalized many times for self injurers i committed due to frustration out lack of communication. I got so bad that my mother couldn’t take care of me as she had a newborn and two other kids. I was sent out of Quebec to live with my family in America. Only making my communication frustrations worse since my parents spoke french. It was a complete mess. At the age of 7 though i had a surgery that my uncle agreed to pay for that actually fixed my hearing for the most part. 

My left ear is still not great though. My doctor says i should wear a hearing aid but i have always refused to. I was so self conscious as a kid to be around other students with it in that even at 18, it has just become a habit to refuse a hearing aid. (even though it would make life so much easier.)

But i love myself now. I may have had a very rough start, but because i spent my first few years without the ability to hear, it makes me treasure what i can do now. I go to concerts with my close friend who is hard of hearing and i translate the music for him, and we have a great time. I know 4 languages and want to keep learning, i want to be able to communicate with everyone because i know how hard it is and frustrating it can be when people cant understand what you have to say. I will be graduating high school this june with not only my diploma but also an associates in art. 

And if anyone tries to tease me now about the fact that i have to ask them to speak up or repeat what they just said, i know i dont have to take their ignorance and it shouldn’t effect how i feel about myself or that i shouldn’t feel self conscious.

#NO shame day

6

For no shame day I decided to post something that I would never on any other website.
I’m 14, and I was born a month late with an underdeveloped heart. I currently have arrhythmia caused by the irregular heart valve placement which will have to be fixed with a pacemaker when I turn 18. I also have moderate POTS which causes me to go blind for hours if I stand up to quickly. Because of those issues and bad genetics I developed another mystery illness in my legs that keeps me from walking up stairs or ramps and moving faster than a turtle. I usually use knee braces and high doses of pain meds at school to help appear more normal, but I use crutches the rest of the time.
I also have severe migraines and chronic head pain which is currently being investigated as a possible brain and spinal tumor. Aside from all that, i try to function like a normal teenager, and although I have been harassed by ableists multiple times, I still have faith that my health doesn’t hold me back.

10

I don’t hate Naughty Boy, but I dislike him. Even if he has done things that happen to hurt us doesn’t mean we should be as low as he is. I’m disgusted with our fandom rn. I kept ignoring the fat-shaming on him, but it’s too much now.

When people were fat-shaming Liam the fans very maturely explained why no one should fat-shame him or anyone, but now we spend time fat-shaming Naughty boy.

No wonder Zayn hasn’t said anything to us. I wouldn’t be happy if people were calling my best friend fat.

so like Jean Valjean did 19 years in jail for stealing bread because his family was poor but he becomes a very wealthy business man but pays his workers barely enough to get by like Jean wtf you grew up poor can ya people get a raise on the minimum wage that’s really fucked up buddy why did you let capitalism do this to you

No Shame Day

Selfie on the bus because I’m the only one on it.

 Reason I did this is for #NoShameDay. I am not ashamed of my disabilities. I am partially sighted (blind in one eye and “low vision” left) and bilateral sensorinueral high frequency hearing loss - deaf. I was born prematurely 6/9 months to be exact with extremely low birth weight. Due to medication complications I lost my hearing. I never knew what hearing was. I grew up mainstream schooling (only deaf kid) with bilateral hearing aids, FM system (an amplification device… like a one way walkie talkie), intensive speech therapy too. After High school I discovered the Deaf Community and ASL (American sign language). I wasn’t really ashamed of my deafness because I knew what was a part of me. Same goes for my blindness. Once I was out of high school I started decorating my HAs to show the world that being deaf is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. We have a culture, language, history, a community to call family. A group of people who Get it and understands what it’s like to be Deaf/HoH. I take pride in being Deaf.

Here is a picture of me with my current HA design:

Also here is them in a heart shape:

Because I take pride in being a Hearing Aid wearer, and also being proud of Deaf. I take pride in being deaf and be involved in the d/Deaf/HOH world, culture, community! Deaf Can. Everyone Anyone CAN

For my blindness? Still due to being premature birth. My right eyes retina detached. I had 3 hours to reattach it but doctor didn’t look into it then… but 24 hours later. So I’m partially blind. I have absolutely no vision in my right eye. I wear glasses for left eye. I use large text and other magnification to help me see what’s being shown on screen. Everyone says I should get a guide dog because of safety measures or a white cane. Everyone doesn`t know me well enough. I grew up learning how to adapt to my surroundings. Being a blindie, I am able to memorize areas very quickly, the layout, where things are. I am cautious of where I look, when I cross the street… yes there are some days I wish I had some guidance but I am fine for now. 

I am a very optimistic person when it comes to my disability. I make fun of it all the time. There are many perks of being DeafBlind! Double life and double chances ;) There’s nothing wrong with being “different” because being different is way better than being normal! What IS normal anyway?

Be proud of who you are!

As Jared Padalecki says Always Keep Fighting and that is just what I will do. 

3

hello! i’m eli and i’m 16 years old (in the first pic i’m 7!)

when i was 2 years old, i began to develop an eating disorder and no one knew the name or anything about it, it is now known as avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder or ARFID. it’s different from most eating disorders in that it’s sensory linked and has little do do with body image. basically, most of my life i’ve only been able to eat very few different kinds of foods. i’m still harassed and teased for my eating disorder by my family and by random strangers today.

when i was about 13, i began to hit a downward slope. i stopped doing homework and i stopped studying and would be beyond exhausted from school. i was diagnosed originally with a depressive disorder unspecified and an anxiety disorder unspecified

after rounds and rounds of med changes and therapist after therapist, it was evident that nothing was working. i was then diagnosed with ADHD and OCD. this was about a year ago

and then i began to get very ill, with extreme migraines nearly everyday and constant nausea. every illness is always blamed on my eating disorder, so that is what happened there. i was basically told that i was going to die if i didnt get rid of my eating disorder. it was terrifying and no one believed me when i said i felt like i literally couldnt physically eat foods that werent ‘safe’ for me.

about a month ago i was put into an impatient program for my eating disorder in which i was abused (i’m not going to go into details, but if you’d like to know more, you can message me. sharing what happened to me in a way helps me feel better, especially with those who can relate). i was so lucky to get out of the program after a week, when our insurance stopped covering the program at the claim that i’d had ARFID for so long that i would never be able to get rid of it (what the insurance company said saved me but was also very crushing). i’m still suffering trauma from the abuse and i have nightmares nearly every night about it and i have an extreme fear of being locked up and my thought broadcasting paranoia has worsened

i discovered that i might be autistic about 6 months ago, when i first learned how comorbid my eating disorder was with autism. however, i was unable to tell anyone due to the fact that i usually go mute when having to talk about hard subjects and after my trauma, i worried that a professional autism diagnosis would have me locked up in a hospital even more easily.

last week after visiting my doctor, i learned that they have found out that i am most likely autistic. i have to go back to the hospital in which i was abused for an autism assessment. i am relieved to finally have a diagnosis but beyond terrified to return to that hospital.

so yeah, a lot of stories on here end in nice closure but i’m still getting there. my school situation is still very bad and i still have chronic migraines as well as prediabetes from my ARFID. i’ve not always been confident about my disabilities and disorders, and i now feel like i am on the inside, even if it’s hard for me to show on the outside. 

i hope you all wish me luck, i love hearing all your stories you are all so incredible and help me to move along so much. #noshameday

So apparently it’s No Shame Day… something I’ve never heard of until now. This is hours late, and it took me a lot of courage to post this, seeing’s how I’ve always hated how I looked in photos…and still do.

But seeing all the posts on Tumblr gave me a little boost of inspiration, so I thought, Why not? (You are all awesome, by the way. <3)

So here is my story (which will be shortened, since there’s only a few hours left of 04/17 here. If anyone is interested in finding out more, please feel free to Inbox me. :) )

My name is Casey Lin. I am a 23-year old Chinese young lady born and raised in the United States. I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Clinical Laboratory Sciences (Medical Laboratory Sciences/Medical Technology) last December, and am currently looking for a job. For all intents and purposes, I’m just your average young adult who loves reading, listening to music, and hanging out (on social networking sites because I tend to be awkward as heck around people…even friends).

But I am also…

-Under 5 feet tall - you can’t really tell from the picture, but yeah, I’m around 4′10″. They put me on growth hormone for a while… Didn’t work. Did I mention that I can’t drive? I have a permit, but no license. :/

-A transplant recipient - I was born 2 months premature and when I was around 15 months old, they took out both of my non-functioning kidneys and replaced them with 1 adult kidney. I take 2 anti-rejection medications for this.

-A cancer survivor - In May 2002, I was diagnosed with Stage IV Hodgkins Lymphoma. I was put on chemotherapy. Didn’t end up finishing treatment (due to some other major event happening), but everything turned out okay, since I was declared in remission in 2007.

-A Type 1 diabetic - Yep, insulin shots - 4 times a day, every day. Plus finger sticks. Makes me glad that all the lab tests that I’ve had to have done as a child (and even now) have pretty much made me immune to needles. (Though I should probably still work on my carb intake…)

I also have hypothyroidism and hypercholesterolemia (yay, more medication!), plus there’s some other stuff that happened during my childhood that I don’t quite remember - either what they were or what caused them. (PTLD during first grade…yeah. All I remember is being hospitalized for a while).

But yeah, that’s me in a nutshell, I guess. I will be honest and say that even right now, I’m still trying to accept myself as I am. It’s a long, hard journey…but I’ll get there. :)

我不再去想別人怎麼看 我就是喜歡自己很勇敢
現在我只想做我自己 真的很愉快  -黃麗玲/A-Lin, 做我自己  

4

No shame day!

For the past few years, I’ve struggled with generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, and depression caused by PTSD from having pediatric cancer almost ten years ago. I wasn’t diagnosed with any of those until June of 2012, in which I ended up in the ER, complaining of chest pain that ended up being physically crippling anxiety and costochondritis combined, the latter being something I have to deal with on my own, and the former is getting better. :) 

I have more bad days than good days, but I’m working on it! xx

3

#noshamepost i went through months of severe mental and physical problems due to my depression, and i had a long period of self hate and self harm. my scars have always made me insecure, but i should be proud of myself because i’m about 6 months clean, and i never thought i’d make it here (please don’t reblog without trigger warning tags!!)

2

It’s no shame day! :D

 I’m Alex, I’m 17, and I am a chronically ill/disabled teen. I am also a make-a-wish kid. I have Crohn’s Disease and was only diagnosed 4.5-5 years ago, but I have a non-responsive case that has caused me to have to fight really hard for my life. 

I’ve missed 2 years of school, have been hospitalised 10 times in the past 15 months, i have gone through every Crohn’s medication possible, and have had countless complications. I was in the ICU in March because I was septic, but I have finally recovered from that and I’ve been home for about a month. 

I’ve had the weirdest/strangest symptoms and complications ever, and some were bad to the point where my doctors were concerned I had other underlying illnesses. Thankfully, I dont, but I found out earlier this year that my body incorrectly metabolises medications which in turn causes me to have all those side effects/risks/complications rather than having the benefits. 

I am currently back on tube feeding again, and the last time i was tube-fed it lasted 6 months. I’m hoping I wont have to do this for that long this time, and that it actually alleviates my symptoms soon. 

The past two years in particular have been the hardest for me, but throughout the last 8 months, I’ve found the most amazing and supportive people on tumblr and in real life. Without that support, it would be so much harder to deal with. This has been the first time since my diagnosis that I’ve ever had so much positivity and happiness in my life, thanks to those that have supported me. I’m really lucky that I have such incredible support from my doctor, surgeon, psychologist, fellow bloggers, and my best friend. I’ve improved a lot in terms of who I am as a person, and I want nothing more but to keep living so I can somehow help/support others that are also chronically ill, and I want to spread awareness to show how serious and deadly Crohn’s Disease can be so that it’s not treated lightly or as if it’s something that’s easy to deal with (news flash: it’s NOT as easy as my first GI made it sound). 

There may be times that I am stuck at home, or that I have to use my wheelchair to actually get out, but I do what I can and I dont push myself when I cant. Whatever happens, i’m gonna keep trying to get through it, even though it gets difficult at times. And i’m gonna continue to try to bring comfort, validation, and laughter to others, ‘cause that’s what I wish I’d had when I was first diagnosed. Thank you for reading my story! 

[oh and if you’re reading this, you have officially received 10 extra spoons from me :) ]

So I hear today is No Shame Day…honestly, I almost don’t feel comfortable posting this after reading a lot of the stuff that others have and are going through. But I suppose that’s the point of this, yes? Sorry, this may be long.

My name is Rainah, and I’m twenty one years old. At three months old, I was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. It’s most prominent in the entirety of my legs, but I also show signs of it in my wrists, hands, and arms. I got a lot of crap growing up - from both adults and my peers alike - for having arthritis. Everyone thinks it’s an “old people’s disease”. I had to sit out of a lot of activities in school that were physical. Most days I didn’t even go to PE. High school was the worst when it came to sitting out at gym. I was teased a lot for not being normal. I got bullied a lot for sitting out, or having to go to the library instead to do a project in place of credit for PE or gym. I’m in college now, and there are still friends I have that don’t understand. I can tell you, though, that arthritis isn’t something that only the elderly get. Many people my age and younger have it or other variations. I was told by my rheumatologist that I may go crippled as I grew older, that I may lose the mobility of my limbs. I was told by my eye doctor that I would go blind as I grew older, or that I would at least need glasses. I have been lucky enough to have none of that happen to me. I’m not sure by what blessing; I’d honestly like to thank my mom. She took so much care of me growing up, made sure I ate right, made sure I exercised even when I was in pain. But still, I feel the pain. Even on medication, even with my mother’s hard work and a great (now retired) rheumatologist who was like a second father. Some days I can’t get out of bed I hurt so badly. Some days my legs swell. Some days I can’t even lift my arms above my head or grasp my hands around a pencil to write. I feel every single little change in the barometric pressure, and weather plays a huge role in what kind of day I’ll have arthritis-wise. Most of the time the pain is soreness or stiffness, other times it’s like someone is taking a needle and stabbing me repeatedly. Then there are other days the pain is bearable, and other days there’s no pain at all and I feel a semblance of normal.

When I was around ten, I was diagnosed with having chronic migraines. I was told they’d probably become more manageable, but would most likely never go away. Most days in third grade I was nauseous and I couldn’t even open my eyes against any sort of light. I was spending times after recess in the nurse’s office almost every day to every other day. It got to the point where as soon as I walked into the nurse, she wouldn’t even bother with me. She’d just tell me to call my mother. Most of my third grade was spent with half of the day in class and the other half at home, in bed, in the darkest room in the house with an ice pack and my cat. As I’ve gotten older, they’ve become less frequent - but worse now that they don’t happen every day. Now I spend my time crying against the pain, screaming into my pillow on the worst days, or throwing up. Medication helps with this, too, but my medication for these also is a handicap. As soon as I take it, in about an hour I’m ready to pass out. I have to sleep and there’s no getting past that. If I have a migraine I either have to tough it out or take my medicine and cancel all plans.

At age twelve, a cold sore appeared on my lip. I took care of it, took care not to lick my lip; tried to make it leave. The cold sore never went away. Instead, it spread. Across the entirety of my mouth - both top and bottom lips. My doctor told me it was HSV-1. My mom freaked out, thinking I was going to get kicked out of school because of the stupid word herpes. My doctor told us it was due to stress, but we couldn’t pinpoint what the stress was about - especially at the age of twelve. I was told this condition would always come back whenever I started to stress out. Every time I talked, or smiled, my lips split open and bled. My lips constantly felt as though they were on fire. The medicine made that sensation even worse. It made my elementary school life hell. I lost a lot of friends because I had these disgusting open sores on my mouth. My mouth was swollen, as well - some of the sores felt deeper rooted then just a wound on my lip. They even started to spread to the area of skin just around my mouth so that it wasn’t even on my lips anymore. I was bullied even more for these cold sores at the ages of 12-13 than I ever was for my arthritis. I stopped smiling in a lot of pictures. I stopped talking a lot with people. There was a point where I thought they’d never go away. I thought it was a miracle when they finally, slowly did, and mostly cleared up by the time I hit seventh grade. My lips, however, are now extremely scarred because of this.

Just 3 years ago I was told I have a mild case of eczema.

Fast forward to now, and I can physically make myself sick due to stress. I stress out over the littlest things. Sometimes I’m stressed when I thought I was feeling fine. I wake up sick some days and miss class, which stresses me out even more. Some people have told me it may be signs of anxiety, but I haven’t gone to the doctor to figure that one out yet. I plan to in the next year, though, because I’ve adopted a kitten and those same people are saying they see a physical difference in my stress levels and management, and my overall happiness.

I feel no shame over any of this. I still enjoy my life, my family, and my friends. I try not to let anything be a barrier.

What if Mika has double personality? He’s usually so calm and mature but when he’s hungry for Yuuichirou’s blood, he switches personality and the more ‘demonic’ Mika comes out?

Mikaela breathes heavily, his parted lips hover just a few inches away from Yuuichirou’s bare neck. The veins underneath the skin are tempting him, filling Mikaela’s entire body with the urge to sink his teeth into the flesh, tear the skin apart and taste his blood.

“Wha… What’s wrong?” Yuuichirou pants, his pupils are blown and his thighs still feel a bit shaky after the last orgasm he had just a few seconds ago. Mikaela is still halfway buried inside him, his pants hanging around his thighs while Yuuichirou wears none. “Mika…?” The raven-haired boy swallows, feeling his throat sore from all the screaming he did–Mikaela was not holding himself at all before and that was the first time he ever became that rough. He usually stopped moving so fast whenever Yuuichirou raked his nails across his spine, muffling his cry with his lips slanted across the blond’s ones. But just now, he didn’t.

Mikaela doesn’t answer him. Instead, he runs the tip of his tongue over the soldier’s neck once. Yuuichirou shuts his eyes, his toes curling in excitement of what’s going to come next. “Yuu-chan…” Mikaela presses a small kiss on the right side of his collarbone. “Yuu…”

It seems like he is asking for Yuuichirou’s permission, but the boy–the soldier who’s supposed to be his enemy on the battlefield–does not know what to say. Of course he will give his blood for him willingly. He’d sell his soul, if that’s what Mikaela desires. But to know… To know that the ‘other Mika’ is going to come out when he gives his blood to him…

It scares him.

But Mikaela, knowing nothing that he has another ‘demon’ waiting inside him, takes Yuuichirou’s silence as a sign of permission. With a small snarl, he bares his teeth, pointy fangs glowing in the darkness of Yuuichirou’s room.

“Mi–” Yuuichirou gasps. It hurts. The bite hurts but he quickly embraces Mikaela by his shoulders and mutes his pain by nibbling on his own lip. Mikaela drinks once, twice, taking another big gulp before Yuuichirou’s taps his shoulder, begging him to “S-stop, I can’t–Mika, you’re drinking too much–”

But the blond boy is no longer the person Yuuichirou knows. And this Mikaela does not stop until Yuuichirou faints and nearly dies on his hands.

Mikaela breaks away, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. He smirks, swiping his thumb along his lower lip. “Tsk,” he jerks his head back and licks his thumb. “He’s passed out already, huh? Human is so weak.”

Yuuichirou lays on his bed, his neck still bleeds but his breath is getting steadier. “You’re not gonna be up anytime soon, are you, Human?” Mikaela asks, tongue peeking out to swipe the blood off the other boy’s neck. “Your little boyfriend Mika-kun already had his fun.” He licks his way down Yuuichirou’s chest, sucking on his skin and making red splotches appear on the boy’s pale body. “It’s time for me to have mine.” He climbs down even more before he settles between Yuuichirou’s legs. With his hands on each of the human’s thighs, Mikaela grins, showing his fangs to the darkness once again as he spreads Yuuichirou’s legs apart.

“Don’t you agree?” Mikaela asks, his voice melodious. “Yuu~ chan~?”