shame-shame

It has occurred to me that if I had a weight loss tracker in my blog header I’d be getting a whole lot less hate. If I went on and on about my weight loss journey making daily entries about how I stayed under my calorie limit or how many minutes a day I exercised I wouldn’t get the ‘but have you ever thought about losing weight?’ questions. 

Because let me tell you, I cannot tell you of ONE woman who has not thought about losing weight at least once in their lives- fat or otherwise. If you don’t think that’s true I want to be living in whatever reality you’ve managed to find yourself in. 

I have nothing against those who DO choose to make weight loss blogs. I’ve certainly thought about it, but in the long run that’s not the message I want to put out there. I decided to take it upon myself to put more positive images of a fat chick being active and having a hell of a good time while doing it. I don’t know about anyone else, but I feel more motivated to be active when I see someone who looks like me out there kicking ass. Photos of tiny girls looking perfect doesn’t do anything for me. They’re lovely, of course. We’re surrounded by these images. We see them every day. But no matter how hard I work, I will never be them.

And I DO work hard. I am losing weight. I am getting stronger. But a size 00 perfectly toned fitness model in perfectly coordinated workout gear? It’s not realistic for me. And hating myself because I don’t look like that? I spent enough time doing that. I’m over it. Yes I’m fat. Yes I’m working on improving myself. But my fat body has done some amazing things for me. It continues to do so. It is powerful, it is capable, and yes I find it beautiful. (and no, you don’t have to find it any of these things, this is just my experience while living in it)

So you can continue to think you know everything about me based on a gif thats over a year old. That my heart condition was caused by my weight (it wasn’t). That I hate skinny people (I don’t). That I have no interest in losing weight (I do and I am). 

But losing weight will not suddenly redeem who I am. There is nothing to redeem. Weighing less will not make me a better human being, it will not make me more beautiful. It will only make me thinner. 

To anyone who says I’m ruining ballet, I’ve got a few things to say to you.

1) If ballet is in danger of being ruined by one fat recreational dancer, it’s in a lot worse shape than I thought it was.

2) If fat dancers “ruin” ballet, then darlings, it’s already dead. Because fat dancers are absolutely a thing. Go in your local dance school, look at the makeup of and adult class. All sizes, ages, shapes and races. Ballet CAN be inclusive. It’s just not talked about.

Besides all of that, let’s be honest here for a second. I hate it when people call ballet a dying art, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t need something to raise awareness and interest in it. The people that take recreational classes are going to be far more likely to buy your ticks and donate to your funds. It creates a love and passion for your art. These classes bring in much needed money to schools and companies, and here you’d turn them away because they don’t have the “perfect” body. There are people who honest to God thought they’d be turned away at the door for adult beginner classes because of their size. I hear it daily actually- they have been interested for years, but thought there was no way they could even make ballet a hobby. If we get rid of this thinking it could seriously breathe new life into ballet. I’m not saying any of us are going to be the Bolshoi’s next prima, but to say we’re not entitled to take class a few days a week for our own fitness and enjoyment? You’re literally chasing donors and dollars away. Even if you can’t stand the thought of a fat person using your precious studio while you’re not there, maybe you CAN stand the thought of being able to keep your doors open a little longer. 

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Jon Ronson’s new book “So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed,” is a departure of sorts for the bestselling humorist/journalist. Instead of interviewing paranoid extremists (“Them”) or bizarre military researchers (“The Men Who Stare at Goats”) or convicted murderers (“The Psychopath Test”), he had heart-to-hearts with a publicist, a science journalist, a software developer and a caregiver for adults with learning difficulties. What drew Ronson to this collection of fairly ordinary people is an ordeal they all shared: public shaming in the age of social media.

The author of “So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed” talks about social media privilege and the carnage of online shaming

Orphan Black Sausage Freestyle
  • Mrs. S:Everybody say sausage, keep it goin like EGGS, BACON, GRITS
  • SAUSAGE
  • Sarah:Yeah I got a kid but I still get
  • SAUSAGE
  • Alison:I'm a bitch and a lover but never a
  • SAUSAGE
  • Cosima:I chose a croissant over all the
  • SAUSAGE
  • Helena:I may have eaten all of the
  • SAUSAGE
  • Rachel:I've got windows so who needs
  • SAUSAGE
  • JFitz:Didn't know I had a monitor but still took the
  • SAUSAGE
  • Katja:Just one, I'm a few, gotta love that German
  • SAUSAGE
  • Tony:I'm too good lookin to be takin just any
  • SAUSAGE
  • Felix:Fetch me something gay so I can get that
  • SAUSAGE
  • SAUSAGE, SAUSAGE, SAUSAGE, SAUSAGE
  • Delphine:I like Cosima a lot better than sausage
  • ¯\_(ツ)_/¯