our doubts are traitors by astoryaboutwar, Explicit, 15k (WIP) The powered assassins AU in which betrayal comes first, forgiveness second, and love was always somewhere in the equation. SO good!
Eros & The Playboy by Gayson, Mature, 9.6k (WIP) Yuuri Katsuki’s alter ego was nothing like him. Eros was flexible, silent, confident, seductive, a master thief. Nobody would suspect him to be the allusive charming criminal. Not a single soul. Viktor Nikiforov was the best spy in the agency. He was a charming fellow- a playboy at heart. One of the top Agents in the CIA, he was riding on his high of life. SO GOOD SO FAR WOW!
you’ve heard this one before by AXSY, Teen, 13k (WIP) In which Victor Nikiforov is a Man for Hire. Urban legends say that, for the right price (and sometimes just for kicks), he can single handedly pull off any job in the world. Beautiful, invincible and filthy rich. Enter Katsuki Yuuri and it all goes to shit. Hitman/Mafia AU!
Figure Skater Time - Assassination on Ice by Kagami_Sorako, Mature, 67k When Victor breaks Yuuri’s heart he couldn’t stand up. Broken and without an idea what to do he stumbles over his old equippment from his most interesting school year. His final year at Kunugigaoka junior high school in the assassination classroom with the worlds best teacher and strongest target. This is really good!
black cat, white cat by Authoress, Mature, 11k (WIP) In which Yuuri punches, shoots at, seduces, dances on, and in other words, falls in love with Viktor, and Viktor with him. LOVE!!
Assassin’s Tango by MEIXIU, Explicit, 29k (WIP) They are the world’s most greatest assassins. Their identities are a secret, even from each other. One day, however, they discover that they have been assigned to kill one another and their reality comes crashing down on them both. Great fic!
these kinda wounds they last and they last by Syster, Teen, 29k When agents of the different super secret services around the world starts going rogue, Viktor Nikiforov is tasked with finding out what’s going on. Japan, shamed by being the latest to have an agent turn traitor, sends their best, the son of legendary super spy Hiroko Katsuki, to help out. Highly recommend!
Spies on Ice: The Cold War by nuclearchinchilla, Mature, 7.1k (WIP) “To prepare you for a honeypot operation, you must now practice seducing sensitive information out of me. If you do succeed, I would consider that very impressive.”/ “Mr Nikiforov, should you be unable to recall, you took one look at this man and defected with him, ziplining right over the Berlin wall with your dick out. I don’t think you’re qualified to make that statement.”/ “He did not have his dick out!” Thumbs up!
Love and Work by burnt_oranges, Not Rated, 6.5k “Let me get this straight,” Victor said slowly. “You were a secret agent for the Japanese government.” “An intelligence agent,” Yuuri corrected and then when Victor’s eyebrows started rising dangerously, he said, quickly, “But yes, that’s right.” Victor stared at him. “But you cry at dog commercials.” “Are the two things mutually exclusive?” Yuuri said weakly. LOVE!
“Mom, seriously, you can’t forget particles they’re the most important part of Japanese.”
“Ugh. There’s just so many of them and it’s easier to just leave them out.”
“Okaasan. Soto wa amari muzukashikunai. It’s not that hard, mom.”
“Mie, my sponge is full!”
I smirk at the phrase. She is always using that as an excuse, that her brain is too old to learn anything more, despite her being the most dedicated student I’ve ever seen. I know that she is capable of learning this, she just doesn’t believe in herself enough to see the potential she has. The thought pulls me momentarily from my amusement at the conversation.
Where did you learn to doubt yourself so much?
“Mom, don’t even start,” I say. “You pushed through a bachelors in your late thirties, you’ve taken countless courses at the hospital to better your career, you’re one of the smartest and most determined people I’ve ever met. You’ve memorized the other stuff, you can do the same with the particles.”
Mom rolls her eyes, but smiles at me. “Thanks for the confidence. It’s nice to know that someone thinks I can learn this language.”
I frown, knowing that she’s referencing my grandma. I cringe thinking of all the times that she’s mumbled, “now you want to learn…” or said something else discouraging about my mom studying Japanese with me.
“Let’s call it a day and move on. We can review next week.”
Mom nods. “I’m ok with that.”
I hesitate for a moment as she packs up her binder and flashcards. I’ve been wanting to talk to her for a few days now, but haven’t known how to bring up the subject. She’s so much more private than my dad—talking about the past doesn’t come naturally and isn’t something she particularly wants to do in the first place.
She looks up, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”
“You know I’m writing my thesis on grandma,” I start. “I have a lot of information on her life in Japan, but not as much as I’d like on when she came to the states. Is it… Is it ok if I ask you some questions about what it was like, you know, growing up with her?”
Mom furrows her brows but nods. “I mean, sure. Though I don’t know how much I’ll have to contribute.”
I smile. “I’m sure you’ll have a lot more than you realize.”
I reach forward, grabbing and opening the notebook that I’ve left on the coffee table during our lesson. It’s bright yellow, doodled on, battered as hell. It has all my notes from my interviews with my grandmother, and now a list of questions I want to ask my mother. I lift my legs up onto the couch against my chest, pen and paper in hand, ready for answers.
“Besides,” I say. “I kinda just wanna hear more about your childhood. Dad tells us so much about his but you don’t really tell us as much.”
She scoffs. “What? Of course I do!”
I laugh at her reaction. Mom has never been aware of how private she can be, how closed off to intimacy.
“No, not really. We usually have to pry it out of you.”
She rolls her eyes and shrugs. “I just don’t know that you’d be that interested is all.”
“Of course, I am,” I say, reaching over to squeeze her shoulder. “You’re one of my best friends, mom. I want to know about you.”
“Ok,” she sighs. “But you better have questions because I can’t just start talking. I don’t know where to start.”
I tap my notebook with my pen, smirking.
I ask her a million things: what it was like growing up without a dad, if she felt she was influenced much by living with only Japanese relatives, what her Aunt Etsuko and Uncle Shuji were like, what they did together, if she ever went to Nisei festivals (celebrations of second generation Japanese Americans) or spent much time with other Japanese people. Most of the answers I have to force her to elaborate on, pull the memories out of her slowly, meticulously, until I get her to tell me everything. It’s like earning the trust of a dog whose past owners neglected it.
As my questions progress, she becomes more willing to tell me all she can remember, all her feelings, all the things that I know she’s been hiding because they’re ugly and painful. I feel grateful for this, even if some of it pains me as well. I know how hard it is for mom to open up—emotionally or physically. She is a product of the shame based culture of Japan and it shows in every way. We get stuck on one topic—her experience of being a haafu, the Japanese word for someone who is half Japanese and half something else. This isn’t the first time that we’ve talked about this—it’s one of the things that we relate to most between us. What it’s like to feel like you’re never enough for either side of your heritage.
“I kind of grew up feeling more white than Japanese,” she admits. “Even though I didn’t have that presence in my life, my mom didn’t really try and raise me Japanese. I mean, sure, we ate with chopsticks, we went to Little Tokyo a lot, I heard her speak Japanese with Koko and Shuji, but for the most part, we were very American. I think that’s why she didn’t teach me Japanese—she wanted us to assimilate, to leave Japan in Japan and try and forget all the pain.”
“Didn’t you want to feel Japanese?” I ask.
“Yeah,” she sighs. “Especially as a kid… I remember I used to watch this cartoon on the international channel on Saturdays, it was Japanese, and I couldn’t understand any of it. But I wanted to, so badly, that I would force myself to laugh when the characters did because I wanted to believe that I could understand them.”
“That’s kinda cute,” I say, holding back a laugh.
She chuckles, but her face falls soon after.
“Yeah. And kind of sad too.”
I nod, not knowing what to say. I realize how privileged I’ve been to be raised so heavily in the culture that she was cheated out of, how lucky I am that she, my grandma, and even my white father, tried so hard to keep that culture alive in our household.
“I had a realization,” she says. “When I was sixteen. I was just hit with this thought: I’m not white. I’m Asian. I’m Japanese. Even if I was mixed, I looked and lived far more Asian than white, and I just realized that I’d been living a façade believing that I wasn’t.” She takes a sip of her tea then, giving herself time to think before continuing. “I think that’s when I started really wanting to learn about that side of my family. And your dad helped that along too. He’s always been so enthralled by other cultures and traveling. When we started dating he really just wanted to know everything about what it was like to be Japanese.”
“It’s kind of weird,” I reply. “Hearing you talk about feeling more white… because I’ve always felt more Japanese. When white people find out that I’m Japanese that’s all they see, and we only barely celebrated dad’s Gaelic culture. We’ve been to some festivals and have our family crest on a flag, but that’s about it. The Japanese has always been far more present.”
“But don’t you feel like, when you’re around other Japanese people, full Japanese, that you’re… not enough? Like you’re a part of their world but you’re only on the outskirts of it, not truly accepted?”
I hesitate, chewing on my lip. I try to ignore that feeling as much as possible. It makes me feel like I don’t have a right to an identity I’ve clung to all my life.
“Yeah,” I finally answer. “I didn’t realize how much I felt that until I went to Japan. Especially when people could see that I was mixed and assumed I could speak the language and I had to tell them I couldn’t. It was really embarrassing for me and I felt like I wasn’t Japanese enough. That’s probably why I started learning.”
“That’s exactly how I feel,” mom replies. “And even Karen Morita says that’s how she feels around her relatives—and she’s full!” She’s referring to our friends from Michigan who have been full blooded Japanese Americans for generations in this country.
“Being mixed, I’ve found, means never feeling like enough for people.” I say. She purses her lips. “I’ve felt that way my entire life—in being mixed, and every other aspect too.”
I get out of my seat and go over to her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and hugging her tight. “I’m sorry, mama.”
She pats my arm and smiles up at me. “Well,” she says. “Now I have you to help me to connect to this side of me. And I couldn’t be more grateful for that.”
I read your post about sharing the 2.5D stage shows and other media. I can imagine it can be hard to be on both the Western and Japanese line with the fandoms, but thank you for all your hard work and dedication to doing what you do. It's a shame that Japan is one of the worst countries when it comes to exporting their media so by people like you who share the merch and experiences from he shows means a lot.
Mm, I would call it a very unfair assessment to say that Japan is one of the worst when it comes to exporting their ‘media.’
As I said a few times, live theater is a niche market in any country. Broadway shows don’t make DVDs to share and export their performances. There is no way we’re getting a stage Hamilton DVD at any point in the near future; you simply have no choice but to go see it live. And I can’t imagine that demand is all that high around the world to see an American musical focused on one of its founding fathers for them to bother with making it available worldwide.
Licensing and distribution laws are always going to be a barrier. Cost of distribution is always going to be a barrier. Language, cultural themes, DVD region-locking, advertising for it, etc… there’s a lot that goes into sharing anything you make, and there are a lot of barriers to try and overcome, and it’s not always going to be financially worth it in the end. Japan in recent years has actually gotten quite good about exporting the media that’s going to SELL. They’ve finally embraced international streaming, even figure companies like Good Smile Company have embraced shipping internationally, marketing overseas for their products, etc… Several sites that sell merchandise ship overseas or provide an English version of their websites (amiami, Hobby Japan, Amazon Japan, CD Japan)… The DVDs may never be subtitled or not-region-locked, but they’re at least available somehow. I can’t say that for Broadway or for every performance done at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre. The only immediate example I can think of that comes close is Cirque du Soleil, since there are DVDs for some of those shows, but not all as some shows are meant to be permanent installations in Vegas or toured and then retired.
You’re also never going to do away with Japan’s fascination for limited edition goods or special event items. And only the things that they KNOW are going to sell well are the things that they work hard to try and export. The same is true of any country with its media. It’s not like we have access to alllll the Chinese and Korean dramas, movies, and music. Just the ones that they know will probably do well in overseas sales. Not everything has the potential to be a global smash hit, not everything is supposed to be this huge industry. Hollywood is the exception to the rule, not the standard. There have been many Japanese musical artists who have done their best to try and cater their music to a Western audience in the hopes of having a more international career (Utada Hikaru, for one, a name in the music industry most people recognize), but just because you try and go for that international distribution doesn’t mean it pays off. Utada’s English albums have never done well as not enough English-speaking listeners bother with it, and the drastic change in style alienates the Japanese fanbase on top of it.
I would say Japan has come a long way and again I have to reiterate that live theater is ALWAYS going to be niche. The medium demands a live audience with live performers. There’s no way it’ll ever have the reach as any show or movie that can be streamed anywhere at any time without the need for the performers to always be present.
I understand that limited access can be frustrating, but please try and consider it from the industry’s perspective as well.
-30% to 0% is what most Japanese people find attractive and expect from women. To them, this is healthy and beautiful.
10% to 20% is still considered attractive to most in Japan, but that’s “pushing it”
40% and above is “unacceptable”. You are thus a Marshmallow Girl.
Holy. Fucking. Shit. Seeing this made me rage sooooo hard. I don’t think any of these women actually look chubby. The one at 100% only looks slightly chubby b/c she’s obviously wearing undergarments that are too tight on her… The women at -30%, -20%, and 0% (I don’t know why but -10% looks like she should be switched with the 0%) look sickly… there is no way that is healthy.
Axis and allies reactions to their S/O on their period?
// five character limit, hun! i’ll do the axis for now and you can send in a seperate request for the allies if you want //
Germany / Ludwig Beilschmidt
Germany would be pretty awkward around them for a bit. He doesn’t understand much about everything that goes down when someone has their period, so he would probably go out and buy a ton of booklets on periods and such. He would also go out and buy a heating pad for them, along with their favorite food and movies. He would be a little bit embarrassed to go out and buy pads or tampons for them, but he would do it nonetheless. He would pretty much keep his distance from them unless they wanted him for something. He just doesn’t know how to deal with that kind of stuff well.
Italy / Feliciano Vargas
Italy would feel sympathy for his S/O because of the cramps and such. He would go out and buy whatever they needed and cling to them only if they wanted him to. He wouldn’t want to try and cuddle with them if they were feeling irritated and get snapped at. He would buy tampons or pads for them with no shame whatsoever.
Japan / Kiku Honda
Oh gosh. Japan would have absolutely no idea how to handle his S/O on their period. He would be very awkward and distant. Of course, he would still be there to help his S/O with whatever they needed, but otherwise he would try to keep his distance from them due to him having nearly no experience with periods. He would buy his S/O pads or tampons, but he would need them to talk him through it due to him being very flustered and embarrassed. He would probably have them on the phone with him the whole entire time and he would constantly be asking them questions like, “Is this the right brand? Are you sure you wanted pads/tampons?”
Romano / Lovino Vargas
Romano would be at his S/O’s side for the entirety of their period. They needed a heating pad for cramps? He’ll get it. They want chocolate? He’ll get it. He’ll make chocolate from scratch if he has to. He’s a very dedicated boyfriend and will help his S/O with anything they might need. If he needs to buy pads or tampons, he’ll walk into the store and buy what he needs with no shame.
Prussia / Gilbert Beilschmidt
Prussia would be a bit awkward around his S/O at first, but soon he’d understand what was going on and help them out with whatever they need. He would think that it was pretty cool that his S/O could walk around like normal while bleeding nonstop. He would grow to admire and respect them even more. He would be there for them the whole time and give them massages if they needed or buy them their favorite foods. He would be a little bit embarrassed to buy pads or tampons, but not enough to where it shows. He would go into the store, get what he needed and get out.
So, I find it interesting that Ishidadescribed Seidou as being depressed during his time in the CCG, and
that he practically opened up to no one.
AS of recent, i’ve been studying
psychology, and mental health in different countries, one of them
being Japan, and juxtaposing it with my country’s mental health, in
America. I’ve noticed in my research, that mental health in Asian
countries isn’t as…how can I put it, as emphasized as it is here in
It’s almost as if a culture of shame
has been associated with mental health, especially in the Asian
countries. I’ve noticed a habit of people dying on the job, due to
heart attacks are strokes, and this is known as karoshi, which has
also included suicide. In Japan, the fear of taking a job that’s
viewed as bad in the eyes of society is so real, that people in
Japan, young men especially,work themselves to death, non stop in
order to maintain the job they have.
I see this in Seidou, in his strive to
be the best, to not accept failure, to the point where it eventually
kills him. I know you’re reading like, “But Seidou was killed by a
ghoul, not by work” However, this can go both ways. At the moment
of writing his testament, it’s safe to assume that he wasn’t ready to
be an investigator, that he didn’t have what it took.
And some people aren’t made for the
jobs they take. In WWII, propaganda of young boys was extremely
rampant in Europe and America, they drew in boys with the “positive”
sides of war. They’d be honoring their country, etc., they didn’t
show them how bad it really was.
You can give a boy a gun but that
doesn’t make him a solider. This was the case with Seidou, he wasn’t
aware of what he was doing until he wrote his testament.
He could’ve quit, which would’ve been
logical, but consider his friends. All well-known, incredibly strong
and powerful investigators. He would have felt shamed to quit.
Shame in Japan is another really big
thing that drives a lot of people to death, shame of failure, shame
of embarrasment, shame of shame…so I believe for the sake of
keeping up a reputation, and fear of failure, Seidou continued. He
was already depressed and weak willed, he had no where else to go, he
had a reputation to keep, and as afraid as he was, he decided to go
on an get himself “killed”.
So I just thought it was interesting,
how beautifully Ishida is blending in mental health, and Japanese
culture. Perhaps he’s promoting awareness. Idk.
Confession: It will be forever a mystery to me why Sho decided to become an idol. He’s elite and could have become anything he wanted. I just don’t get why he would even consider being an idol. Sometimes I worry because I think his family has never really accepted it. I can see how it could be viewed as “shameful” in a way. That’s also why I really hope he’s not gay, that would be even more “shameful” for his family (it’s Japan!) and I couldn’t stand seeing Sho sad because of that.