shame for breakfast

4

So last night a bunch of my friends and I went to Denny’s for some breakfast-for-dinner and I couldn’t decide on what I wanted, so I told the waiter “I want a lot of eggs.”

“How many eggs do you want?”
“How many can I get?”
“I mean if you get a Make Your Own Slam you can get up to 8..”
“I would like a questionable amount of eggs, please. Scrambled, so that I don’t know how many there are.”

And boy did he deliver.

The manager came out to present the eggs (because, as our waiter joked, this plate of eggs was too much of a health risk for anyone but the manager to be liable for serving me), and said “….who’s responsible for this?”

I started crying out of excitement/joy/fear (no lie. it was embarrassing)

Anyway, this heavenly plate of eggs filled the entire plate and was about an inch deep (there were 2 layers of eggs in it! with cheese in the middle!!)

The waiter kept joking “You’re not getting a box. You have to finish it! You chose this!” I tipped him 100% out of pure shame (plus he was a rad dude).

Thank you Denny’s. Thank you.

Imagine you and Loki live with the Avengers in the Stark Tower. One morning, during breakfast at, Thor starts telling the other Avengers about Frost Giants, calling them horrible names, and describing, in detail, how many he’d slaughtered. You can see Loki is uncomfortable, so you cut Thor off, going on a long rant, calling him out on his and Odin’s racism and how it affected Loki. Thor realises he fucked up and hangs his head in shame, and you make him apologise to Loki and to swear never to say anything like that again.

deaflock  asked:

#10 please OTP-Johnlock or up to you. 💕

The alarm only rang out once before John silenced it, groaning. Between Rosie’s teething and Sherlock’s insomnia, it had been a while since he’d gotten more than six hours of rest, and he was aching for it. He rolled over for a moment and listened, taking note of Sherlock’s absence, his side of the bed still just barely warm. He could just hear the soft sound of Sherlock’s bare feet on the kitchen floor as he scuffed about, filling the kettle and rattling the pots and pans at the lowest volume he was capable of. 

The sound was soothing somehow, and John rolled over, shielding his eyes from the light that was pouring in and letting himself drift back to sleep. 

“Alright, Watson, time to wake Daddy,” John heard Sherlock whisper as the bed shifted slightly. Rosie giggled and put her hand on his face, tiny hand grabbing at his nose, and reached up and pulled her into a hug, tickling her sides. 

“Whooo has awakened meeee?” he said, grinning as Rosie laughed. He opened his eyes and smiled at her.

“Dada, wake!” she said, placing her hands on his cheeks momentarily. She turned back to Sherlock, looking terribly proud of herself. “Papa, look!” she said. 

“That’s right, Watson, you did it! You woke him right up, didn’t you?” Sherlock said, bending down. “And what do we have for Daddy? Can he figure it out?” 

He looked at Sherlock, who was holding back a proud smile of his own, and put together the noises he’d heard earlier, the wrap that Sherlock was wearing (he’d been wearing Rosie all morning), and the aromas currently making him salivate (coffee, bacon, toasted bread). “You’ve made me breakfast in bed.” 

“That was awfully slow, John,” Sherlock said teasingly. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, my loves,” John replied, patting the bed. 

Sherlock leaned over and kissed him, then set the tray closer to the foot of the bed. “I made enough for everyone,” he said. “And I brought a bit of reading, in case you wanted to stay in bed and rest a bit.” 

John smiled. “I’d like that. All of it,” he said, shifting over so they could all fit in the bed and set the tray between them. “And I didn’t forget about you,” he said to Sherlock as he tore up a piece of bacon butty and handed it to Rosie. “Mrs. Hudson is keeping this one tonight so the two of us can have a proper Valentine’s. Same place, better time,” he said with a wink. 

Sherlock’s blush was enough to put even the most garish of Valentines to shame. 

🏕
  • *camping in a forest*
  • ...
  • ...
  • Sherlock: *awkward* Sorry you were stuck with me.
  • Molly: *also awkward* No, it's fine. Mary would have complained all night.
  • Sherlock: *nods* Their only time away from the baby.
  • Molly: Exactly.
  • -certain noises begin from John and Mary's tent-
  • Molly: *embarrassed* And they're making the most of it.
  • Sherlock: *shrugs* We could always-
  • Molly: -do the same-
  • Sherlock: -listen to your music.
  • ...
  • ...
  • Sherlock: I like your idea better.

CP fandom went fucking nuts when Zimbits went canon, can you imagine being a gay hockey fan in that universe when it happens for real?

Like, Jack Zimmermann comes back to the league after going to the most LGBT+ friendly college in America and you’re not actually hoping (he’s a loser and a nerd, the only two student groups he ever joined were the men’s hockey team and the Undergraduate History Students’ Association, there’s a Yik Yak post on campus that quotes him and a teammate saying he didn’t even get a frequent coffee punch card from the shop closest to the library until senior year) but like… maybe? yay?

But he does say that one of the things he liked about signing with Providence is that he gets to stay close to his college friends since they’re really great and he loves seeing them, and sometimes you and your friends talk like: Maybe he even has a gay friend!!!  Maybe he’s friends with this person and not a big homophobic dick about it!  Omg! Maybe this friend opened his eyes to the homophobia in the league! We can hope, right???

And he was one of the players in a You Can Play youtube video and one week he and a bunch of Falconers used Pride Tape and it’s something, all right?

You and a bunch of gay friends sit around eating nachos for the Stanley Cup finals his second year and he wins and you’re so happy, and then in the post-game celly he bends down and fucking plants his lips on what the announcers were just telling you was one of the forward line of his college hockey team and now the announcers are silent and your whole living room explodes all over again, cheering and wolf-whistling and “Get it Zimms!” and the camera cuts away and you turn to your friend like, “Really?  How are they gonna spin that one?” but instead the TV’s just ignoring it, showing old game replays, but later that night there’s a Tweet with cell phone camera footage showing that Jack Zimmermann picked this guy fucking up, skated over to the players’ bench, sat him on the boards, and stood there making out with him for, like, a full minute.  PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY WHAT, you text your friend.

The next day at the celebratory press conference everyone on the entire team has that walk of shame/champagne breakfast look of guys who are still hungover and/or drunk but too fucking pleased about it to be properly ashamed and a reporter asks about the kiss and all the guys on the team groan and laugh, and Alexei Mashkov says, “Nice boy, yes? We like a lot,” and Jack Zimmermann hunches his head down to speak into the microphone.

“I, ah, one of the people who’s been an amazing support for me, throughout my career and basically since I met him, is my boyfriend, Eric Bittle.  I met him playing hockey at Samwell.  He’s an amazing player, and I am so lucky to have him in my life.”

You know this, despite working the day after the Cup final, because your boss (who is very understanding about you still being hung over) drags you into the break room and shows it to you.  You shriek and race out into the front of the store and grab your coworker, who is also your friend, in the middle of a transaction.

“Jack Zimmermann is gay!” you shriek, jumping up and down.  She abandons the customer and starts jumping up and down with you.  “He just announced it.  He has a boyfriend.  He was KISSING HIS BOYFRIEND.”

You jump up and down and hug and jump up and down while hugging and you’re both crying a little and she turns back to the customer she was helping and apologizes. “It’s all right,” the lady says.  “You young people have things to celebrate.”

Staying The Night

[1] [2] [3]

‘You’re gonna need to give me a few minutes before we continue.’ He chuckled slightly out of breath as you giggled and trailed your finger on his chest giggling at his flushed cheeks and amused eyes. ‘What? Old age catching up to you?’ You teased as you support yourself with your elbow lightly tracing shapes on his chest. Your hair cascading down your side when you looked at him. You had teased him quite a lot when he told you his age not because you were bothered by it but because of how his face contorted when you told him your age. You were slightly offended that he thought you were older so teasing him was a way of revenge.

He laughed at your respond as one of his arms snaked it’s way under your armpit and wrapped around your waist. It felt just right as his arm filled the gap between you and the bed. It felt perfect. ‘You youngsters!’ He joked in an old man voice making you laughed. He then pulled you down by your neck as he connected his lips with yours. The kiss had started slow, teasing even but when you pulled away. He pulled you back inching you closer towards him that your body was almost on top of him. You tried to pull away as you started peppering kisses down his jaws.

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I Love Rock and Roll

Teen!Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean meets the reader at party, and they connect. Circumstances separate them, but will they find their way back to each other?

A/N: I was listening to the radio earlier, and Joan Jett`s “I love Rock and Roll” came on, and I was super inspired to write this about gorgeous Dean. I am making this into a series, and it won`t be AU…Hunter Dean forever!

Warning: Swearing, attempted rape (nothing graphic)

Word Count: 1840 (It`s a long one)

It was a Saturday night in February during 1997, and your best friend had dragged you out of the local library to party. 

You hated to party, and you had a massive paper due on Monday.

“Y/N! Lighten up, this party is going to be dank!”  Y/F/N yelled!

“Yeah… I`m sure its going to be awesome” you sarcastically roll your eyes as you get out of her car.

The frat house that was near the local college was booming with a booming bass, and people were already puking on the garden outside…yay.  

“Hey babe!” your best friends douche boyfriend- and frat member- called from the entrance of the frat lair.

Y/F/N looked at you, and you just sighed and nodded. She was gonna abandon you eventually, at least this way you could hide in a corner, and sip warm beer; she ran away and you trudged inside out of the cold February air.

The house was full of grinding bodies just randomly placed everywhere: against the staircase, the coat hanger, and the kitchen counter…ew hygiene.

Looking around, you saw no one that you knew, just a bunch of horny teenagers. Not your scene.

This was your last year of high school, and boy were you glad the nightmare was nearly done. Four years of torture from relentless teasing…just because you preferred books over boys!

College was just around the corner, and you couldn’t wait to leave this shit town.

Pushing your way through the crowd, you found the beer keg, and poured yourself a drink into the stereotypical red solo cup.

“Hey baby, sup” some blonde frat next to you winked.

“Ugh as if!” you responded, channeling your inner Cher.

So you liked rom-coms- whatevs.

Once again, you pushed through the dry-humpers, and found a nice corner with an armchair you could sit in: thank god this spot wasn’t occupado.

With a huff, you sat down in the chair, trying to ignore the thumping music, and took out your current read: the Odyssey.

A few people around you snickered at your activity, but you just ignored the idiots. 

About 10 minutes passed before it happened: the moment that changed your life forever.

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Useful shit about the Netherlands

1. Its called The Netherlands NOT Holland okay? Holland only refers to two out of our 12 provinces. 

2. We love bicycles, EVERYONE drives a bicycle, whenever its raining or storming, we ride it every chance we get.

3. Tolerance is very important for the Dutch, we say whatever we want, and have allot of critique.

4. Dont order coffee in a coffee shop, It’s a café where soft drugs are sold. Just go to Starbucks or a regular cafè if you want coffee. 

5. We are very fond of our royal household, and they still take part in many traditions and ceremonies.

6. We love our traditions, dont you even dare to criticise our traditions. Just don’t do it!

7. Sinterklaas is one of our most famous traditions, It is about a saintly man called ‘Sint Nicolaas’ There will be parades and on December the 5th there will be a 'Pakjesavond’ the children will receive presents from Sinterklaas and the Zwarte pieten (which are his helpers)

8. Ice skating is one of the most famous sports here. Everyone does it and millions of Dutch people are going ice skating in the winter every year.

9. We call ourself the masters of water, but there is traffic jam at the slightest bit of rain. And believe me it rains ALLOT in The Netherlands, so there is allways traffic jam.

10. We love soccer, its our life.

11. We greet everyone, but mostly in villages. In big cities we rarely greet people. 

12. We eat lots of potatoes, almost every evening we eat potatoes.

13. We have a gay pride once a year, thats a huge parade of men with not so many clothing on.

14. We hate our government, we hate them allot.

15. We discriminate allot, especially about immigrants, really allot.

16. The crime punishments in the Netherlands are extremely low.

17. We are allways in a hurry and impatient, we can get really irritated by the public transport because it is allways too late or too slow in the Netherlands.

18. We talk very open about sex, in almost all of our movies and series there is sex. No doubt it, we dont have any shame.

19. Our breakfast and lunch aren’t very special, just a regular piece of bread with cheese or ham on it, and a glass of milk.

20. Do not drink alcohol on the streets, thats against the law.

21. Do not walk on bike lanes, we WON’T stop for anyone trust me.

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Summary: After meeting Alfred on an online site for omegas and alphas to find a mate, Arthur decides to make a trip to America to find out if Alfred really is the right mate for him, and if Alfred will think Arthur is the right one too.
AU: Omegaverse AU, Cowboy AU
Warnings: This will be a slow start fic kinda. In later chapters there will be NSFW content but for now just expect fluff and awkwardness.

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