Pass or fail
They say that neurodiverse people pass if they aren’t identifiable as autistic or on the spectrum. I have spent my whole life passing and…
Quote from “Pass or fail” by Heidi Turner.
They say that neurodiverse people pass if they aren’t identifiable as autistic or on the spectrum. I have spent my whole life passing and failing. Like 100,000 tiny exams, each and every day.
Holding my breath, watching those around me, trying to pick up cues for whatever circumstance I have found myself in. Sometimes it’s flying colours, many times I fail. I have broken some undefinable rules that everyone else seems to know and I never got the manual.
I honestly have spent my whole life searching for that damn manual. Pass or fail. Either way I lose. Passing is so exhausting that I come home so burned out, frazzled, sure I have blown it somehow, rerunning every episode and interaction back and forth in my brain like a VHS security tape trying to see where I need to apologize, what mess I need to clean up, how have I embarrassed myself unknowingly. Every single time.