cults are like elaborate clubs, so i wanna start one

ideas for a cult:

-we meet biweekly, you bring all the dogs or cats you currently possess and we pet 

-we meet monthly, everyone brings a paintball gun or a friend with a paintball gun and we hunt in the forest for donald trump masks i hid in the trees

-we meet weekly to watch the bee movie. each. week. at the end of the year, you recite the script by heart. your reward is you no longer have to watch the bee movie. 

-we meet biweekly to watch every shitty m night shamalama movie ever. yes. this includes the dreck that is the last airbender. 

-we meet monthly to discuss and plan the taking and maintaining of our territory in the case of an apocalypse, zombie or nuclear beast or whatever it entails. you are not obligated to bring supplies or plans, just listen. 

no matter which idea is my favorite, we call it the Church of Sentient Amoeba. 

I’m flexible on the name, any  name involving aliens, paramecium, dabbing, or includes the word “amorphous” will be considered.