sham causes

  • Lemony Snicket: This character is Count Olaf, named after a character in an 1856 poem by Théophile Gautier. Gautier was of course a contemporary to another French poet of the time, Charles Baudelaire, which ties back to the conflicts and complex relationship between Olaf and the Baudelaire children throughout the series.
  • Also Lemony Snicket: And this character's name is Dewey cause he's a librarian

It’s Battle Buddy rules to have explosions somewhere in the picture. Sorry I dont make the rules! B) 

anyone wanna take bets on this just becoming a will turner blog at some point caUSE yikes.jpg

The fake Karakura Town arc...as told through headlines


As requested by anon. :)


We’ve already told the Soul Society arc and the Hueco Mundo arc through headlines. Next up, the FKT arc! So if some newspaper were covering the events there, what might the headlines look like? [And sorry to the requester - it was too much to try to do the Deicide arc as well!]


1. AIZEN INVADES THE HUMAN WORLD WITH THREE ESPADA

“Wait…wasn’t he supposed to have ten?” an unnamed source from the Gotei-13 said.


2. BATTLE IMMINENT IN
 KARAKURA TOWN

Sosuke Aizen and his forces have invaded the human world, where the Gotei-13 is found waiting for them! “Man, I really thought at least the shinigami cared about the human world surviving. I guess not,” an unnamed source said.


3. KARAKURA TOWN REVEALED TO BE FAKE

Moving entire cities to Soul Society apparently something that can happen. No word yet on what this means for Atlantis.


4. AIZEN TRAPPED IN FIRE CAGE

Aizen and his two subordinates, Ichimaru Gin and Tosen Kaname, have been trapped in a ring of fire. Reports that they are roasting marshmallows remain unsubstantiated.


5. FIGHTS ERUPT AROUND THE PILLARS

According to inside sources, the pillars in question are what hold the fake Karakura Town in place. They are nevertheless being guarded by two lieutenants, a fifth seat, and a third seat. “They’re probably sham pillars ‘cause otherwise that makes no sense,” a source at the scene commented.


6. SHINIGAMI VICTORIES MOUNT

Three of the four pillar battles have ended in shinigami victory. The fourth battle, between Third Seat Ikkaku and fraccion Poww, is ongoing.


7. CAPTAIN KOMAMURA SAVES THE DAY

A loss by fifth seat Ikkaku nearly ended in disaster - had not Captain Komamura of Squad 9 stepped in to save the day. 


8. ALL THE ESPADA EXCEPT FOR BARRAGAN ENTER BATTLE

Barragan decides to send his fracciones instead, possibly out of laziness.


9. EVERYBODY FIGHTS SOMEBODY WEIRDLY SIMILAR TO THEMSELVES

Soi Fon fights against somebody fast with braids. Omaeda fights someone heavyset but strong. Hitsugaya fights against someone with water powers. Kyoraku fights someone who likes to nap. No word yet on what Ukitake and Matsumoto have in common with their opponents. 


10. WAIT UKITAKE LIKES CHILDREN AND MATSUMOTO IS A WOMAN

Maybe that is why Ukitake is fighting a kid and Matsumoto is fighting women? Further speculation as events warrant.


11. SQUAD 2 TRIUMPHANT

Squad 2 proves that fracciones are no longer that hard to beat by handily defeating both of their opponents.


12. BARRAGAN TO ENTER BATTLE

Shit is about to get real?


13. LIEUTENANT HINAMORI ARRIVES AT BATTLE

The lieutenant of former Captain Aizen arrives in battle in time to save the life of Lieutenant Matsumoto! “I’m not here as Captain Aizen’s lieutenant,” says Lieutenant Hinamori. Nobody comments on the “captain” part.


14. APPARENTLY THE TRES BESTIA CAN MAKE A GIANT MONSTER OUT OF THEIR ARMS

“Super not fair,” says Lieutenant Kira as he plummets to the ground.


15. HEAD CAPTAIN YAMAMOTO PROTECTS HISAGI

This is a headline because it probably will never happen again!


16. HITSUGAYA AND SOI FON DEFEAT THEIR ESPADA

In stunning victories, both Captain Hitsugaya and Captain Soi Fon have defeated their espada. Only Kyoraku and Ukitake are still fighting. The end is perhaps in sight!


17. NEVER MIND EVERYTHING IS RUINED

A giant monster called Hooleer has freed Aizen, Ichimaru and Tosen from the fire, and has freed Halibel from her ice, and has proved that Barragan is still alive after all. Oh, and Kyoraku and Ukitake just went down. This may be the end for the Gotei-13. 


18. THE VISORED SAVE THE DAY?

The once-exiled hollowfied shinigami, known colloquially as the visored, have arrived to the fight! They say they’re working for Kurosaki Ichigo but that probably means they’re on our side.


19. MENOS GRANDE ARE NO LONGER HARD TO DEFEAT

Remember when Kurosaki Ichigo couldn’t even beat one? Man that was a long time ago.


20. BARRAGAN DIES BY HIS OWN HAND

He did not commit suicide. He was literally killed by his own hand.


21. KYORAKU KILLS STARRK

“It was pretty brutal,” an unnamed source commented. “I definitely see why Ukitake didn’t want that guy’s bankai shown.”


22. HALIBEL STABBED…BY AIZEN

In a stunning turn of events earlier today, Aizen decided to stab his own subordinate, rather than the people she was fighting.


23. HIRAKO CLASHES WITH AIZEN

Hirako Shinji clashes with his former subordinate, Aizen Sosuke, after Hirako’s friend and associate Hiyori is cut in half by Ichimaru.


24. FORMER SHINIGAMI TOSEN KANAME…NOW A HOLLOW?

Early reports indicate that former Captain Tosen has undergone the hollowfication process, which can apparently also be done willingly.


25. TOSEN EXPLODES

After being stabbed in the head by his former subordinate, Tosen Kaname exploded just moments ago. How and why he exploded remains unclear.


26. BREAKING NEWS: KUROSAKI ICHIGO HAS ARRIVED

The hero of the Gotei-13 has arrived! Now that Kurosaki Ichigo has entered the battle, hopes run high that it will soon be over.


27. KUROSAKI ICHIGO STANDS THERE AND LETS EVERYBODY ELSE FIGHT AIZEN FOR HIM

The Gotei-13 vows to protect Kurosaki Ichigo, which is weird, given that it is usually the other way around.


28. BREAKING NEWS: AIZEN SOSUKE HAS BEEN STABBED

The Gotei-13′s attack on Aizen Sosuke was an utter success: Hitsugaya Toshiro has dealt Aizen what appears to be a fatal blow!


29. BREAKING NEWS: NEVER MIND IT WAS HINAMORI ALL ALONG

“Why the HELL didn’t Ichigo say anything until AFTER we all stabbed her? HE LITERALLY HAD ONE JOB!” a source at the scene was heard saying.


30. AIZEN SOSUKE STABS EVERYONE

The Gotei-13 has been single-handedly defeated by Aizen, thus begging the question of why he created espada to begin with.


31. YAMAMOTO ENTERS THE BATTLE

Head Captain Yamamoto has decided to enter the battle. Kurosaki Ichigo is still standing there.


32. YAMAMOTO IS DOWN

Aizen Sosuke did not come to this battle unprepared - after clashing with Aizen’s specially created arrancar fire extinguisher, the head captain is down and no longer has two arms.


33. REINFORCEMENTS ARRIVE

Just when all seemed lost, Urahara Kisuke, Shihoin Yoruichi, and some other unknown shinigami have arrived on the scene!


34. THE REINFORCEMENTS ARE DEFEATED

It did not take long at all.


35. AIZEN AND ICHIMARU INVADE SOUL SOCIETY

Everybody has been defeated, and Kurosaki Ichigo seems to be having a breakdown. This has not been a good day for the Gotei-13.