shaking your soul

You gotta find something that moves you, each and every day. It could be a song, a quote, a book, a tv show, a painting, a person, a landscape… anything that speaks to your core, anything that shakes the dust off your soul. You gotta remember what a miracle this life is. You gotta keep reminding yourself. 

Two Ghosts

Originally posted by kthish


A Kim Taehyung Vampire AU

Rating: M (mature themes, death, blood, sexual themes in the next chapter)

Status Ongoing, part 2 coming soon

Kim Taehyung has been your mortal enemy ever since you were fifteen. He wasn’t always such a monster, but he entered a downward spirl after death had started to surround him. He was a vampire - everyone already thought he was an evil being, so why not make their nightmares come true? Encountering you after you quit vampire hunting may have been his greatest stroke of luck yet - his one and only chance to end it all.

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High School Band AU: Ch. 5

Hope you like this! Tomorow we’re back to the regular headcanons! See ya!


Well, it wasn’t that bad. The first Mystic Messenger’s rehearsal was less catastrophic than it could have been considering all the tension between the bass and guitar players. And though there was still a little cold war going on, the band was… pretty talented, yeah.

“Is your dad coming to pick you up?” Zen asks you when you help Yoosung closing the garage.

“Well, I texted him, and he answered some random letters, I think he butt dialed, but… I’m pretty sure he saw my message, so I’ll be fine.”

“So I won’t have the honor to give you another ride in my bike?”

“Maybe another day.”

“I’ll take that as a promise, princess.” You feel a little bell ringing inside you when he calls you princess. “So, uhm…  I know the guys told you this before, but… you don’t have the fault in anything that happened, okay? This is between the jerk and I. And… though it’s adorably cute, you don’t have to worry about me so much.  I got thick skin.” And beautiful… and probably very smooth…

“I bet you do, but don’t… but don’t let it get too thick to the point of ignoring problems, okay?” wow… where did that come from? Psychology Today?

“That’s a really nice thing to say, you know? I don’t get to hear things like that this much.”

“Ahh, I bet all the sophomore girls drooling over you tell you nice things all the time.” Did you just sound jealous? Bad, really bad.

“Well, yeah, about how cool I am, how hot I am, how talented I am… and… what was my point again?” you laugh, he is being sarcastic… right? “Oh yeah, I… I’m not used to having people sounding this worried about me. People don’t… usually see much beyond my face… and abs…” Hum… he’s not flirting at all right now, is he?

“Well, people are superficial. And I… suck at advices, but if you ever need to vent or something. I’ll… be here for you.” So cheesy! You can’t even dare looking him in the eye after that.

“Oh, my skin will never be too thick for you.” He winks, and you feel your legs getting weaker. Oh no… you’re acting just like your classmates when Zen parks his bike after second period… “See you around, babe.” You could squeal right now just like they do and that’s… that’s trouble, huh?

You realize you’re still in Yoosung’s backyard, he looks at you curiously, the twins are beside him in the veranda. Shit! Of all people to see you getting all weak for Zen, Saeran had to be one of them, huh?

“Shut up.” You say when you walk towards them.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Good. So keep it like that.” Yoosung and Saeyoung exchange glances. The tension in the rehearsal wasn’t  going on just between Zen and Jumin…

“So, uhm… first rehearsal! Yay! That was cool, huh? How did you guys feel?” Saeyoung asks.

“It was nice when Jumin wasn’t scolding me for shaking my hips too much.” You say.

“Ahh yeah… priest Jumin won’t tolerate shenanigans that can lead to fornication and sin in the future…” you laugh softly and Saeyoung chuckles. “Don’t shake your hips or your soul will be doomed.”

“Yeah, can I say I didn’t get until now why Jumin keeps picking on these things?” Yoosung asks.

“That’s because you’re one of the pure souls Jumin is trying to save from MC’s devilish movements, Yoosung.”

“Don’t mock me! I’m serious! I have no idea what is this discussion about…”

“People like sexy, but not too sexy, you get it?” you ask him. “Like, it’s okay to put me in a cat maid costume, but it’s not okay for me to dance in the cat maid costume.”

“I… am not following it.” Oh god… he really is a pure soul!

“Don’t even try. He just speaks pop language, MC.” Saeyoung states.

“Pop language?”

“Yeah, watch this. Yoosung, if Mystic Messenger was Little Mix’s albums, Rika would be Get Weird, and MC is Glory Days.” What?

“Ohh… and MC’s hips are the ‘Touch’ video?” he looks at you like he’s having an epiphany.

“Exactly! That’s my smart boy!”

“Never would take you as a mixer, Yoosung.” You say chuckling.

“He just has a crush on Perry.” Saeyoung teases.

“Not only on Perry, Leigh-Anne, Jade and Jessy too!”  

“Such a womanizer, I thought you were different, Yoosung.” You say, making him blush and smile nervously. Oh god… so pure…

“Well, chatting’s been nice, but we better get going, Saeyoung. I don’t wanna be late for the curfew again.”

“Yeah, don’t even mention it. See you, guys!”

“Wait, are you serious about the curfew?” you ask scoffingly. “So Mr. Travis Baker wannabe here is actually a mama’s boy?”

“Don’t talk about things you know shit about.” Saeran say giving a complete different glare than usual, like this time he really means it. “Let’s go, stupid.” Saeyoung doesn’t even look back when he waves a goodbye, oh… could it be that you pissed both twins off now?

“Looks like it’s just the two of us, now MC…” Yoosung says. “It’s getting dark, are you sure your father is coming to pick you up?”

“Yeah, he’ll be here before dinner…”

“Oh, or maybe you can have dinner here? It would be so nice, my mom loves when I bring friends for dinner.”

“Oh, I don’t want to get in the way of your family dinner, I…”

“Nonsense! Come in!” he says grabbing your hand and dragging you inside.

Okay… when you said “family dinner” you weren’t expecting to see so much… family here. It’s not just his parents, there’s an aunt, a grandma, and an exchange program student here. His dinner table is loooong.

“So, MC, what do your parents do for a living?” his mom asks

“My dad is a lawyer, my mom…lives, I guess.” Yoosung’s mom stares at you curiously. “Oh, she… ran away a few years ago. Pass the potatoes, please?”

“Poor thing. I’m so sorry to hear that, forgive me for asking.”

“It’s fine, my dad makes me feel like running away sometimes too.” They all look at you worried. “It’s a joke. I’m not… hiding here, Yoosung is not my accomplice, don’t worry.”

“He better not! That would be so irresponsible!” his mother glares at him “Don’t ever help your friends to run away from their parents, did you hear me?”

“Yeah, mom. Why are you scolding me for something I didn’t even do?” he whines, and you want to laugh, even though you’re the one who caused this.

“So you’re in my little star prince’s class, honey?” his grandmother asks.

“Grandma! Don’t call me like that in front of my friends! Saeyoung makes fun of me until these days, did you know that?” Star prince… it suits him.

“No maa’m, star prince is one year ahead.” Yoosung blushes when you look at him. Oh… so maybe he doesn’t hate it if it comes from you? Poor granny… “I’m the new vocalist in his band, so that’s why I’m here tonight.” That and because your father forgot to pick you.

“Oh… so you sing?”

“She’s amazing, dad! Just like Rika!”

“Well, Rika is very talented. You must be really good for my son compare you two.” You really need to see Rika singing one of these days, it’s kinda throwing you off how much people talk about her when you barely even heard her voice.

“Yes, my two grandsons have that musical vein. Star prince plays piano wonderfully! Young lady, listen to this, when he was 4, he wanted his mother to sign him for judo classes, I said no, my grandson needs something more sophisticated, he needs to be able to make people bend with grace, not with strength, so I taught him everything he knows.” Well… some personal defense oves wouldn’t be that bad, but who are you to judge how she educates her grandson? “Yoosung, be a dear and play something for us.”

“Right now, granny?” he glances at you.

“Yes, dear, you have to impress the young lady if you’re willing to woo her.” you two could facepalm in embarrassment right now.

“I’m not…”

“He’s not… wooing me. I… am not even sure if I know what this means.”

“Either way, your grandmother wants to hear you play. Please, star prince.”

“Yeah, star prince, show us what you got.” You leave your embarrassment aside to tease him. And hell, who are you kidding? You want to hear him play, it would be nice to hear him soloing without the other players instruments and big personalities keeping him away from the spotlight.

“Only if you sing for me.” He smirks. Oh… you did not see that coming.

“Yes! That would be so lovely! Please, dears.” Shit! How do you say no to an old lady?

“Fine, I guess…” and just like that, Yoosung made you feel flustered, who knew?

The whole family gathers around the piano in the living room. Gosh… performing in a gay bar was way less embarrassing than this… it’s much weirder when you’re dealing with a smaller audience who puts  a lot of expectation in you, you know? That’s what happens when you perform for people you know, even if just a little.

“So… what are you playing? Three Blind Mice?” you ask sitting beside him in the piano bench.

“Nah, let’s do something a little more modern. Not… too modern, though. 2002 modern.”

“I didn’t even have teeth in 2002, so not modern at all.”

“Said the girl who sang Prince the other day and auditioned with a song from when not even our parents were born.” Touché. “Come on, you definitely know this one…”

And when he plays the first notes, you sigh… you definitely know this one… who doesn’t know this one?

“Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces past and I’m homebound…” his fingers are skilful and fast.

“Staring blankly ahead, just making my way, making a way through the crowd…” he sings… oh, so is this a duet? please, let’s use this Glee duet as a reference

You watch as he glances at you quickly before looking to the keyboards again… then look at you, the little star prince here doesn’t even need to look to find the right notes. You probably wondered how much he practiced. Yes… he’s so quiet and shy, you can almost forget how dedicated he is to the band. Rehearsals happen at his place, after all, he is so… passionate about this, isn’t he? It’s great to see him under this new light, this new… spotlight…

“Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles if I could just see you… if I could just hold you… tonight.” You two sing the end together, looking straight at each other. And for one moment, his violet eyes look like the only thing present in the room…

Is he getting the same vibe? Probably, as he looks down with his face completely flushed. And you know what’s odd? You probably look just like him right now. So here are two flustered messes getting some applause from the small audience.

“So wonderful! And you almost missed the show, Rika!” his grandma says, and you both raise your heads to find this blond girl looking straight at you.

“Oh, I never miss a good show, grandma.” she says, smirking.


← Chapter 4 | Chapter 6 

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On this day in music history: April 24, 1980 - “Cameosis”, the fifth album by Cameo is released. Produced by Larry Blackmon, it is recorded at H&L Studios in Englewood Cliffs, NJ in Late 1979. Riding high off of the success of their fourth album “Secret Omen” and the back to back hits “I Just Want To Be” (#3 R&B) and “Sparkle” (#10 R&B), Cameo quickly return to the studio in the Fall of 1979 to record the follow up. The resulting album sees nine piece R&B/Funk band enjoying their first taste of pop crossover success, and becoming their best seller to date. It spins off two singles including “We’re Goin’ Out Tonight” (#11 R&B) and “Shake Your Pants” (#10 R&B). The album also marks the final appearance of vocalist Wayne Cooper, whose distinctive falsetto vocals are heard on several of Cameo’s hits (including the two singles from “Cameosis”), leaving the band after the albums release for an abortive attempt at a solo career. Cooper passes away in 1984 at the age of 28. The album is remastered and reissued on CD in 1996. “Cameosis” spends two weeks at number one on the Billboard R&B album chart, peaking at number twenty five on the Top 200, and is certified Gold in the US by the RIAA.

this heart is tiny and timid but
its beat makes the floors shake and the
drums in your ears pulse and you
feel the blood flowing
quickly through your veins and you
put your hand to your chest because
god, life is a cobweb in the wind
and this beating is the only thing
keeping your feet on the ground so
don’t grab onto the clouds but
watch them with wonder as your
eyelids flutter with
the shaking leaves and let your soul
grow into the earth like roots
so the thumping in your chest will feel
more like fireworks than a
firing squad and I promise
there is healing where the hurt was;
hope where the heart broke and
every day on this side of the earth is
worth it

- Ashley Dun

anonymous asked:

Well shit, I have to follow after the NSFW HCs for Noct. Goddamn. Get I get a follow up on that Older Noct and the Insemination kink? Like shiittttttt, you're a person after my own heart.

I turned this into a fic omg. I know I said Gladio HCs would come after I got off work but this met me in a dark alleyway and ran off with my muse.

You know the drill!

Naughty below the cut!

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Name: Anna

Age: 17

Location: Birmingham

Occupation: Student

Website: http://peachfulsoul.tumblr.com

This past October, I went on a retreat that changed my life. Not like the cheesy kind of life change that happens in the romance novels you were obsessed with in middle school, but the actual kind of life change that shakes your soul to the core. The necklace pictured I received on the last day of the retreat, and I took it off for the first time since October to take this photograph.

On the retreat, you participate in personal reflections to find out what and who in your life are helping you grow and are helping you towards happiness. The other objects pictured represent that growth and journey. The CD is a mixtape that my dad made me to help me sleep as a child, and I still listen to it today. I attribute my passion for music (my future career) to him. The letters are from my mom–my best friend. I cannot read them without crying. The polaroid is a picture of 2/4 members of “The Nest.” I do not know where I would be today without The Nest; they are my rock. I journal everyday and have for the past two years. The journal pictured is my journal from when I was going through difficult times in my life. I read it on occasion to remind myself the beauty that comes from struggle and that tomorrow is always a new day.

2

Danton & Robespierre (Hervé Leuwers)

Between Danton and Robespierre, no duel of this kind is perceptible. Disagreements could separate them – on the desirability of the war or on Brissot at the time of the Legislative –, but never truly oppose them. On the contrary, they often helped each other. When Robespierre was weakened after his vain opposition to entering the war, Danton supported it. At the Jacobins, on 10 May 1792, he assured that « M. Robespierre has only ever exercised the despotism of reason here », then he was indignant over the calumnies which overwhelmed the Incorruptible: « Maybe there will be a time, and this time is not far away, where it will be necessary to inveigh against those who have been attacking, for three months, a virtue [that is] blessed by the entire Revolution, a virtue which his enemies have well treated with stubbornness and roughness in the past, but which they have never slandered like these [did] today. » At the beginning of the Convention, the proximity of the two men was confirmed. During the winter of 1793-1794, the Parisian population moved Danton and Robespierre closer to each other much more than it opposed them to each other. Has one not nicknamed them « the columns of the Revolution » or « the columns of liberty »? The militants knew their differences, but above all else saw their common points ; their words, their voices, their actions were in the service of the Republic.

The two men incidentally stood alongside and appreciated each other. Certainly, they did not live in the same quarter, were far from being intimate and only exceptionally found themselves at their respective homes. If they were maintained, the traces of their relations exist, notably in the form of two letters. The first, written by the minister Danton shortly after 10 August, invited Robespierre to join the Conseil de justice which he intended to form under his authority ; this is a sign of trust and, as the minister assures, this would not require a sustained presence at the Place Vendôme: « I pray you, my dear friend, to give me the pleasure and to render this service to the common weal, to accept some hours of work per week in the Conseil de justice, as a member of which I have nominated you. This will only be thrice per week and during a part of the morning that one will assemble it » (14 August). Robespierre declined, because we was committed to the Paris Commune then. The other letter, dated 15 February 1793, is adressed by Robespierre to a Danton berieved by the loss of his wife ; henceforth, the two men used the informal tu when addressing each other: « My dear Danton, if, in the troubles that can shake a soul like yours, the certainty of having a tender and devoted friend can offer you some consolation, I offer you this. I love you more than ever and until death. In this moment, I am yourself. Do not close your heart to the words of friendship that feel all your pain. Let us cry over our friends together, and let us soon show the effects of our deep sorrow to the tyrants who are the originators of our public misfortunes and our private misfortunes. My friend, I have sent you this letter from my heart to Belgium; I would have come to see you, if I had not respected the first moments of your just affliction. Embrace your friend. Robespierre. » These are more than marks of esteem: marks of friendship … But a measured friendship, aware of the differences which separated the two men.


Danton et Robespierre. Le duel réinventé (Hervé Leuwers), in Danton: le mythe et l’Histoire (Michel Biard & Hervé Leuwers)

somebody out there needs you

holy shit @feralphoenix wrote a sequel to someone else’s fire and it’s amazing and everything i could’ve wanted it to be and holy shit holy shit do i cry

hashtag #MASHES SAVE BUTTON THRU TEARS!!!

Rumored Story for Build (thanks to Dukemon)

Apparently from the cut-off part of the cover page:

The world was “created”…..

10 years ago, “Second Build” destroyed the world, and finally, a new one has been created. People’s souls are kept in bottles, and they exist in temporary physical forms, accepting peace.


However, the truth is quite frightening; bottled people with evil hearts must be satisfied by commiting heinous crimes. These beings are known as “Builders.”

Only one man can stop them. Shake your soul! Build Up! Best Match Kamen Rider!

O_o

I. Maybe ‘constant’ doesn’t mean until the end of time. Maybe it’s more than enough to have someone be your constant for a given time. For a few months when they were able to help you get out of your bed. For a good year where they lent you a hand in planting new flowers in your heart. Or maybe for a few years where they became a pillar of strength. And one day, you wake up and realized that they have vacated the bedroom you offered them in your humble abode. Maybe, just maybe, it’s more than enough to have had those people in your life as your constants.

II. I always believed that everyone has their own footprints which they leave on the souls of the people they meet. That each one of us has our own kind of warmth and sunshine we tuck in our pockets. For such a long time, I made myself into a fool who believes that I am not replaceable; but if I were, it would take some time and effort to have my laughter and smile replaced. But the more I got older, the world continues to prove to me how replaceable I am. I was in denial. I refused to believe.

But somehow, I came to terms with it. I know I am replaceable. We all are. So now, I make myself contented with the fact that I was able to be part of a person’s life. That I became a word in their books. That I was able to be under the same sky as them.

III. I’d rather be an option than be nothing at all. I thought it was painful enough to know that you’re just an option. That you’re just part of a list. But lately, I realized how the pain doubles when you realize that you weren’t (or worse, you’re no longer) an option. It’s the kind of realization that happens in the middle of a conversation. Or maybe in between shots. Or in the quiet of the night where loneliness kisses your lips to sleep. It’s a kind of sadness you cannot shake off from your soul. A kind of pain that wakes you up from an afternoon nap. A kind of loneliness that steals away your laughter.
—  //sober thoughts

When he says he only wants to be friends with benefits, remember there is no benefit of falling in love with your best friend who is only in love with your skin.
If he talks about other girls, there will come a day when he chooses one of them over you, trust me, this is science, it’s true.
If he only kisses you after midnight when you’re both drunk, it’s not love, it’s lust.

You will fall in and out of love with him for months, but he won’t even pick up the phone once.
He will never understand that the capacity of your love for him has caused sea levels to rise.
He will never realize that you write about him every night.
He will never know how he made your hands shake, your voice shake, your soul shake.
(Does anything ever stop shaking?)

He will move on without looking back, but you can’t.
You will wait years for him to come back.
Darling, close the door, turn off the lights,
He’s not coming home.

You could love him forever, couldn’t you?
That doesn’t mean you should.

Letting go is an art and he will be the hardest lesson you will ever have to learn, but take a deep breath and paint a future for yourself that he never could have created.

—  A Letter to Myself On How to Move On
A Lone Wolf Part 19

Summary: You go find Bambam by yourself, even though you know that it wasn’t smart.

Length: 1811

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

You got out of the taxi and limped towards your apartment. You had a sinking feeling in your stomach, and a part of you knew this was a terrible idea. You should’ve waited and asked the others for help, but if anything had happened to Bambam, you would’ve never forgiven yourself. You were in no condition to fight Namjoon and V, though. You weren’t successful with fighting them when you were in full health, and you were nowhere close to that right now.

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emberists replied to your post: me: tries to work on writing for the card…

Can we all just get a Jorm devotee group together and laugh hysterically about how multifaceted these experiences are? I get major balance vibes and then hearts and then I get your (soul-shaking) reading in my inbox and go LETS SET EVERYTHING ON FIRE WOO. Jorm: everything, literally, all at once, always– but like be cool about it?

Sounds about right tbh. xD It’s one of my favorite things about Jorm and Jorm devotees - we all see glimpses of Jorm and never the full picture resulting in each of us having such faceted experiences and none of us even agreeing on what pronouns to use for zir. Hell, I’ve seen people use she/her pronouns and it’s fantastic.

anonymous asked:

Yay it's open! Can I have a soulmate au scenario with Nishinoya. Oh and with Suga :) their s/o have matching tattoos. And female pronouns if you don't mind. Thanks! :)

Nishinoya

When his tattoo first appeared on his skin, Nishinoya had mixed feelings. It was a flying dragon that had flames behind it, which was cool, but on the inside of his thigh. How was he supposed to find his soulmate with a tattoo in an area that was indecent to look at? A bad ass tattoo, but in an area that wasn’t in society’s favor. Nishinoya also assumed he would find his soulmate right after his appeared. His mother always told him not to get so excited, and Nishinoya did his best.

Seven years passed since his tattoo appeared.

“Yo, Noya-san!” Tanaka called out with a wave.

“Oh, hey Ryu!” Nishinoya smiled.

“You okay, man? You look annoyed,” Tanaka said. Nishinoya sighed and brought his backpack over his shoulder. The duo walked together to the gym for practice.

“Yeah. Just thought I saw a chick with my tattoo again,”

“Ah, got caught looking up a skirt again?”

Nishinoya nodded with a frown. Tanaka couldn’t help but smile at his best friend with a little pity. Tanaka found his soulmate only a few months after getting his tattoo.

“Noya-san, what if she doesn’t go to Karasuno?”

“But there’s still so many girls I haven’t checked! I just want to make sure! I’m reaching my limit here, man,” Nishinoya sighed, deeply frustrated. Some days were better than others. He could go the whole day without a thought about his soul mate. Others he would throw his things across the room and speak to no one because he just wanted to talk to them. Today? It was in the middle, leaning more to throwing things across the room. Good thing there was a practice match today. Nishinoya would get to exercise his angers out. “Whatever. It’s just another day. Who we playing today?”

“Some school from Fukushima,” Tanaka answered. They entered the gym to find their opponent already in. “Wow, they must have come early. Why didn’t coach get us to leave class early?”

“Because you two are failing,” Daichi responded behind the duo. Tanaka and Nishinoya quickly stiffened to the sound of the deep menacing voice of their captain. “We already set everything up. Just go to the club room and get dressed so we can all warm up.”

“Yes!” Tanaka and Nishinoya called out.

Just as Nishinoya turned around, a sudden force bumped into him, causing a loud thud to be in the gym.

“Ah, crap! Sorry, are you-”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to bump into you!”

Nishinoya flashed his eyes open, confused. He’s never heard this voice before. When you look to him, Nishinoya discovers you’re from the opponent school. Probably the manager from the way you’re just in a track suit.

“Ah, it’s fine. Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” Nishinoya apologized with a chuckle. As he stood, he held out his hand.

You stared at it then at him. His smile was contagious, because you found yourself smiling at him as you took it. Once you got to your feet, Nishinoya couldn’t help to realize you were short. Maybe a couple inches.

“____-san, are you okay?” you and Nishinoya turned to find a couple of your team mates running to you concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine. He helped me,” you responded, smiling to Nishinoya.

Cute. You were cute.

“Well, thank you,” you said with a bow and followed behind your team mates. Nishinoya watched as you walked away. Something about you… It felt nice.


Karasuno won the practice game. The opposing team wasn’t horrible, but Karasuno had outsmarted them with different games. It annoyed Hinata that they didn’t fall for his decoy plays as much as other schools had. Other than that, they weren’t a bad school. It was a good rivalry going on. The opposing team helped put away the volleyball gear, allowing some of the members to interact with one another.

“Ah, you dropped this!” you called out. You picked up the red antenna Nishinoya had dropped as he carried the volleyball net atop the volleyball cart.

“Thank you!” Nishinoya said as you handed him the antenna. You two walked together towards the sports closet smiling. It made Nishinoya’s cheeks warm, he didn’t get this feeling. It was strange. “So, you ready to go back home?”

That was a dumb way to word it. I sound like I’m trying to bring her to my home. Nishinoya mentally slapped himself on the forehead.

“Yeah, an hour and a half drive isn’t bad. It was worth it,” you chuckled. It was small but it was so cute. It made Nishinoya walk into the closed sports closet. When Nishinoya began coughing from the cart ramming into his stomach, you put a hand on his back. “Are you okay?!”

“Y-Yeah,” Nishinoya coughed. He looked down the same as you and found he dropped the net. “Ah, hold on let me get this.”

“I’ll help you,” As you both crouched down,  the detailed dragon on Nishinoya’s inside of his right thigh caught your eye. You gasped, dropping the net as you brought your hands to your mouth. “Oh my gosh!”

“What?! Did I hit your foot?!”

You pointed to his tattoo, speechless. He looked down at his tattoo then you confused. “Oh yeah, it’s my soul mate tattoo. Kinda cool, huh?”

“I have that, too,” the words came out quieter. A small voice behind your hands didn’t help Nishinoya. He thought he heard the wrong words. The distinct conversations behind you two continued on, but they were drowning out as you both stared at each other in disbelief.

“Really?” Now Nishinoya’s voice was small. And so was your nod. “S-Show me!”

Your cheeks went from pink to red. And soon Nishinoya’s face followed. “W-What?! What are you saying?! Do you know where it is?! Everyone will-”

“I-I-I-I’m sorry! I meant, I just! I didn’t know! Wait, it’s a misunderstanding!”

“What’s going on here?” Both Daichi and your team mate appeared with a glare. Nishinoya and you looked to them, flustered.

“O-Onee-chan! I-”

“Onee-chan? Your captain is your brother?” Nishinoya asked, immediately forgetting the embarrassing question he asked earlier.

“Nishinoya, what are you doing? I’m sorry, is he bothering you? Daichi asked.

“N-No! Not at all! I just-”

“Does she really have a dragon tattoo on the inside of her thigh?” Nishinoya asked, standing right in front of your brother. When did Nishinoya even get up?

Your brother was incredibly tall. Almost as tall as the blonde middle blocker Karasuno had. Surprisingly, your brother hated blocking and practiced for setter all his life. Once he got the position, he heard about Date Tech’s first year setter and became annoyed. He wanted to be the only tall setter in the games. But right now, it was nice to be “just the tall brother watching out for his sister”.

“What’s it to you?” your brother asked, his arms crossed and pout deep. At the mention of the tattoo, Daichi shot his eyes to your brother. Your brother couldn’t ignore it and tilted his head to Daichi.

“She’s Nishinoya’s soulmate?” Daichi asked, pointing to you.

At the sound of soul mate, your brother became surprised. He looked to Nishinoya then at his leg. The tattoo, it was really there. “Y-You?” His voice was a bit small. He didn’t seem mad anymore… Until he grabbed Nishinoya by the shirt and held him a bit closer. “What took you so long to find my sister?”

“Onee-chan! Put him down!”

“H-Hey! I’ve been looking! And waiting too!” Nishinoya grunted, annoyed that he wasn’t touching the ground but he was almost eye to eye with your brother. But he was your brother, he understood. “But I’m here now. I can take care of her,”

Daichi’s became relaxed, and so did you. Nishinoya’s words were unexpected. As Daichi looked back, he found almost everyone in the gym behind Nishinoya and your brother, ready for a fight to break out.

“Good. Because she’s been waiting for a long time,” your brother smiled at Nishinoya. He already liked him. “I can tell you’re her soul mate. You have the same aura as my sister. Nice to meet you…?”

Your brother set down Nishinoya and remained smiling. Nishinoya only had a blank look, maybe trying to make a good impression? You walked up to Nishinoya and grabbed onto his arm. He looked to you surprised but then smiled like when he first looked to you. His eyes went back to your brother and held out his hand. “Nishinoya. Nishinoya Yuu,”

“Take care of my sister,” your brother asked, shaking your finally found soul mate’s hand. You didn’t even notice you two had intertwined your fingers, but it didn’t matter. You were meant to be.


Sugawara

Sugawara mourned the day his tattoo appeared. He had always waited for it to appear, but the day it did, his parents announced their divorce. They were soul mates, why were they splitting up? They’re reasoning was their friendship had a more appropriate level to soul mates rather than being together romantically. Hours and hours after arguing with his parents, Sugawara ran to his room crying. After he finished crying into his pillow, it suddenly appeared. On his wrist, an overlay of colors overlapped each other in watercolor art, forming two different colored eyes. The left electrifying yellow, like owls in the night time. The right jade green as the Bahamas oceans. It was gorgeous, and Sugawara hated it.

It had been three years since his tattoo appeared on his wrist. Sugawara hated it so much, he’s tried everything to cover it up as much as he could. Make up only came off by the end of the day, especially when he sweated immensely during practice. Covering it with bandage seemed like he was a delinquent or caused harm to himself. As much as he knew it wasn’t true, he grew a little annoyed of the others always asking about his well being. The only thing left for Sugawara to do was cover it with a watch. He had to bear with looking at the dreadful thing when he needed to play games. At least his love for volleyball overpowered his hate for this tattoo.

“We have a new manager!” Hinata exclaimed once Sugawara and Daichi came into the gym.

“Oh really? Who is it?” Sugawara asked. Daichi and he had just discussed their worries once they were to graduate. Yachi would be the only manager to take care of the team besides the second years. Another hand would help immensely.

“Sugawara-kun! Daichi-kun!” Yachi called over, and the third years made their way. Everyone was here to find their new manager standing along Yachi and Kiyoko, you. “This is ____ ____, she’s a second year!”

“Ah, welcome!” Sugawara greeted with a smile. But it quickly disappeared when all you did was bow to him, your eyes looking at him like… He didn’t matter. It made his lips form differently. It hurt even more that you looked to Daichi with a welcoming smile.

“Thank you for having me,” you bowed to the team, and as they all cheered, you stood with Yachi clasping hands, fully excited.

You just met everyone here, yet why did Sugawara feel as though he was going to be treated differently?


Sugawara wasn’t wrong. He was getting treated differently. No matter how much he tried, you always turned away from him. Whenever he could see you struggling with carrying some of the gear, he tried offering. But of course, you would turn and ask Asahi or Tanaka for a hand, as if Sugawara hadn’t just asked. Sometimes Sugawara would see you struggling to reach something so he would take a stool next to you and ask which you needed. You actually jumped from the stool, grabbed the item you needed, and left him without a word. Whenever Sugawara tried to just say hello, you would go on normally, as if no one spoke to you. And you clearly didn’t care what others thought. The other managers would be around you whenever awkward moments like that would happen. Sugawara even confronted Daichi and Asahi, asking what he should do. As much as there isn’t alot time left to bond with you, seeing as he is going to graduate soon, Sugawara just wanted to make the best of it.

Sugawara sighed deeply to himself walking alone after another long day of school and practice. Also, just another day of your usual interactions; Sugawara being ignored by you. He didnt really understand why he felt the need to “fix” things with you. It was more than just being good team mates. Sugawara feels as though he actually had done something to you for you to act this way towards him. Even though he has never met you, Sugawara felt as though this was deeper than it truly seemed.

Suddenly, Sugawara heard a squeal around the corner of the street. Sugawara ran towards the sound to find you on the ground, sitting on your bottom.

“____-san, are you okay?!” Sugawara called out as he ran towards you. Of course you shot a look of terror to him and stood up immediately. But as much as you wanted to avoid him, you couldn’t hide your ankle hurting, especially when you winced. “C’mon, let me help you home. What happened?”

Sugawara was right to expect you to just turn your head. And he couldn’t hide his frustration. It just surprised him you looked to him concerned when he actually sighed. Maybe you actually-

Nope, you didn’t feel bad. You didn’t care for Sugawara’s care either. You made that clear when you abruptly stood up and began limping away. It was frustrating to Sugawara, because he knew he didn’t deserve this.

“H-Hey!” It was one of the first times he’s heard your voice. It was cute, Sugawara had to admit. If only he didn’t have to carry you off your feet so he could hear it. “Put me down!”

“I wouldn’t be a good senpai if I let my team mate walk on a rolled ankle. And besides, you’re hurt. I know you don’t like me, but just let me help you,” Sugawara didn’t bother to smile anymore. It was just a pained frown now. Why did he feel so sad to feel so rejected from you? He wouldnt mind if this was someone else. He would just walk away or shrug it off. But you. You held this string on him for some reason. Maybe it was because you two were team mates. Sugawara could only hope to learn soon.

Surprisingly, you allowed Sugawara to hold you all the way home. It was minimal conversation. You explained how you fell. A kitten was stuck in some trap a jerk left in a bush and you decided to help. But once she got loose, her mother or an acquaintance of its came behind you, startling you. You lost your balance and felt your ankle give a little when you couldn’t find your footing. Sugawara would ask for directions every now and then. It was small talk. Sugawara wouldn’t push conversation since it was known how you felt about him. He’ll let you speak when you want to.

“Why do you keep trying?”

Sugawara looked to you surprised. “What do you mean?”

“No matter what I do, you still try to talk to me,” you noted. You just looked to the side, avoiding any eye contact with Sugawara. But that didn’t stop him. Your eyes were strong. They knew what you wanted, and held bright colors. You were a great manager he had to admit. But your eyes, they told stories Sugawara wanted to hear someday.

“We’re team mates. I won’t question your reasons for not liking me, but you’re still my team mate. And I don’t treat my team mates badly. If they need me, I’ll be there for them,” Sugawara said, looking forward.

He missed you peeking up at him. Sugawara just missed you staring at the light colors in his hairs or the glistening light in his eyes. But Sugawara didn’t miss your words after you chuckled. “You really are reliable.”


You arrived in the front of your house. As you bowed to Sugawara goodbye, he watched you walk onto your property. It felt strange. Now he knew where you lived and he’s just…. Watching you. You couldn’t even make three steps without feeling anymore uncomfortable.

“You can go home, you know,” you grumbled. Sugawara’s smile kind of annoyed you, because it was like he was screaming “I’m reliable, remember? Let me make sure you get inside safely”.

“I know,”

“So go home, Sugawara-senpai,” you were surprised to hear him laughing. “What?”

“That’s the first time you’ve said my name,” Sugawara chuckled. It was cute. So cute. It made your cheeks warm, and you hate that Sugawara noticed. “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yes! Stop worrying about me,” you ordered, moving a strand of hair behind your ear.

Suddenly, you saw Sugawara’s eyes go wide. The next second he grabbed onto your wrist that moved your hair and panted. “Y-You’re my-!”

Startled, you looked to him with wide eyes. Then the words began to process and you pulled your arm. Without a word, you began walking towards your front door. You just wanted to leave. You failed to avoid the most important thing you had been hiding. You never wanted to him know. You didn’t want Sugawara to look at you like he looked at that tattoo.

“____-san, wait!” But Sugawara did what he wanted and ran to you, grabbing your shoulders as he turned you. “Why?! If you’re my soulmate, why don’t you like me?”

“Let me go, Sugawara-senpai!” you ordered.

“Tell me!”

“No!”

“Why don’t you like me?!”

“I could ask you the same thing!” you yelled, your heart shattering. And you could see Sugawara’s shatter as well as he stared at you. He stared at you confused, but almost like he understood. His grip on you loosened.

“What?” Sugawara whispered.

“I heard about you right when I transferred to Karasuno,” you began. You sighed deeply before voicing everything you hated coming to Karasuno and everyone seeing your beautiful tattoo. “Everyone eyed my tattoo. And I was proud of my tattoo. It was gorgeous. It was the thing that linked me and my soul mate together, someone I would be proud to have, someone I could confide into. But when everyone looked at my tattoo with pity and apologized to me before I knew anything, I became annoyed.”

“You… Everyone told you about-”

“How you hated your tattoo. That you would hide its colors with make up, scratch at it, bandage it. You were disgusted with the tattoo, and everyone knew the reality of that. You were basically disgusted with me,” you spat. The words were like a burn. No, he wasn’t ashamed of you. He hadn’t met you, of course he wasn’t ashamed of you. You were an amazing team mate, you handled all the team members exceptionally, you were gorgeous, you were strong. Why would you assume Sugawara thought of you like that?

“I don’t think that about you, ____-san. You have to understand, it’s just-”

“It’s just a tattoo? That tattoo is everything to me. When it lit onto my skin, I cried to my parents because it was so damn gorgeous. I didn’t even know about soul mates then. After my parents told me, I looked at that tattoo excited. Someone else I’m destined to be with would look at me like I look at this tattoo!” you jerked out of Sugawara’s hold and flashed him the tattoo. Of course, he flinched just looking at it. Immediately, you scoffed and hid it with your sleeve. “But when I heard Sugawara Koushi was disgusted with such a beautiful tattoo, it meant he never wanted anything to do with me. So I hated you.”

Sugawara’s breath got stuck in his throat. He forgot how to breathe when your eyes pierced his. “____-san, you need to listen to me. Please, just let me explain.”

“Explain what?” you scoffed. “I didn’t believe anyone’s words. I decided to see for myself. It only worked out you were on the volleyball team. Of course you play the sport I love. It only made it easier to be manager but harder to accept the fact you really hated the tattoo. When I first saw you, you really did hide the tattoo. You waved to me and I saw it covered with bandages. I tried to think otherwise every time. But every time I saw you react to just the mention of your tattoo, I hated you more.”

“____-san, I-”

“How dare you be ashamed of that tattoo!” you were waving your hand, making a perimeter that Sugawara couldn’t cross. You could see he wanted to hold you. Of course he did, you two were soul mates. But you hated him. Right? “How dare you try and try to be my friend or anything when you look at that tattoo with such disgust! That tattoo is me! I am a part of you, yet you hadn’t even met me yet! And you look at me wish such disgust! Like I was the one who hurt you! And I hate you for it!”

“You’re my soul mate, ____-san, and I’m sorry! But please just let me explain. I promise, I’ll make it right-”

“Why do you want to keep trying? How you treat that tattoo is how you’ll treat me. I don’t want to tarnish my dream of a soul mate with you as the reality,” you spat your words right at Sugawara’s heart. You couldn’t even wait for him to say anything. You ignored as Sugawara called out to you with each step you took towards your house. You ignored the stabs in your heart when you slammed the door to Sugawara’s calls.

You hated Sugawara Koushi. You hated your soulmate.

For the first time that night, you bandaged your tattoo, hiding the colors that brought your world to life. Now, it just seemed like colors of lies and horrid dreams.

“There are no limits to your being, only those you ascribe to yourself.
There are no limits to your understanding, only those that are due to trying to understand with the mind.
There is no limit to your light, except the dark shadows of the ego cast upon the sky which we call the self.
Shake your soul! Awaken it from slumber! The time has come to awaken to your divine being.”

~ Pir Vilayat

2

I’m learning not to just hide and run | a Natasha Romanoff fanmix

01. beauty don’t mean shit to me, only when it’s a weapon and deadly / 02. you’re fucking with the wrong wolf, baby / 03. feel the earth shake, don’t rest your soul / 04. bigger men have hit their knees, and better men have died / 05. isn’t that the way? everybody’s got their dues in life to pay / 06. I guess all my good graces are too far out of reach / 07. but there’s blood on my hands, yeah, there’s blood / 08. I can’t describe, how the dark consumes the light / 09. mother, can you keep them in the dark for life, can you hide them from the waiting world? / 10. I am everything and I’m nothing at all / 11. I will burn your kingdom down if you try to conquer me and mine / 12. I play for keeps, ‘cause I might not make it back, I’ve been everywhere, and still I’m standing tall / 13. I would like to find a place where the taste of blood in my mouth could evaporate

[ L I S T E N ]