shakespeare henry v

A quick guide to Shakespearean men

Hamlet, the little emo shit

King Lear, the big emo shit

Romeo, the hormonal emo shit

Puck, just a little shit tbh

Macbeth, the Scottish emo shit

Henry V, the frat boy emo shit

Brutus, the honorable emo shit

Othello, the poc emo shit

Richard II, the greedy emo shit

Don Jon, the illegitimate emo shit

Shakespeare Characters Saying 30 Rock quotes

Macbeth: Your boos are not scaring me. I know most of you are not ghosts.

 Friar Laurence: Science is my most favourite subject, especially the Old Testament.

 Lady Macbeth: There’s only three things standing between you and winning: your breasts, and wanting it bad enough.

 Ariel: I don’t think it’s fair for me to be on a jury because I’m a hologram.

 Mercutio: Tell her you want to donate her body to science and you’re science.

 Richard II: There is no problem in this world that can’t be solved by throwing money at it.

 Henry V: When you’re handsome nobody ever tells you the truth. For years I thought I spoke excellent French.

 Olivia: Listen up, fives. A ten is speaking.

 Timon: Goodbye forever, you factory reject dildos.

great shakespearean themes for a wedding
  • Twelfth Night: Twins get married to two different people at the same time. The officiator wears yellow stockings. The twins dress up as each other during the reception.
  • Much Ado About Nothing: Groom accuses bride of adultery. Bride faints/fakes her death. Everyone is busy trying to set up the maid of honour and the best man with each other.
  • The Winter's Tale: Groom accuses bride of adultery. Bride pretends to be a statue for the next couple of years.
  • A Midsummer Night's Dream: A triple wedding, except prior to the ceremony two of the couples completely mix up who they're getting married to. An incompetent group of actors perform Romeo and Juliet at the reception.
  • Romeo and Juliet: The reception features a duel between the boyfriend of the groom's cousin with the bride's cousin.
  • Hamlet: The wedding happens at the same time as a funeral, and the widow at the funeral is marrying the dead person's sibling.
  • All's Well That Ends Well: Groom thinks he's marrying one person, but turns out the bride is an entirely different person. The entire affair is conducted in a darkened venue.
  • Macbeth: Three witches show up and suggest the groom kill his boss.
  • Julius Caesar: The groom gets stabbed to death by members of the wedding party. His best man makes a speech at the reception about how ~honourable~ one of the ushers is and incites a revolution.
  • Titus Andronicus: Invite two convicted rapists to the wedding. Bake them into the cake.
  • Henry V: Send the happy couple tennis balls. Only tennis balls.
  • inspired by this post: http://acrickettofillthesilence.tumblr.com/post/101009683501/great-literary-themes-for-a-wedding