shaker full of ice

Craig’s Gang as Alcoholic Drinks

Part 2 and follow up to my Main 4 as Alcoholic Drinks post bc @earily asked that if I had more drinks for other characters that I share them, and you bet your ass I’ve got more!

(Although I see him more as part of Stan’s gang, I’m gonna include Butters here because I didn’t add him in the main 4 post)

Craig Tucker: Pisco Sour

  • 1 cup Pisco or White Rum
  • 1 cup Guava Nectar
  • 2 Tsp Superfine Sugar
  • ¼ cup Lime Juice
  • Angostura Bitters
  • Lime Wedges
  • Mint Leaves

In a glass pitcher combine the Pisco or rum, guava nectar, sugar, and lime juice. Add a few shakes of Angostura bitters; stir well to dissolve sugar. Divide mixture among 4 glasses. add ice; top with a lime wedge and fresh mint. (This drink is traditionally made with egg whites instead of Guava Nectar, but I chose not to do that. If you want to make it the traditional way, just substitute the Guava Nectar for the egg whites! It’ll create a cool little foam on the top if you do!)

It’s been a long-standing debate in the fandom whether Craig is a bitter asshole or a guinea pig loving dork. But let’s be honest, the answer is probably a little bit of both! Like Craig, this drink is a little sweet and a little sour. Light and limey, but still strong! Not to mention it’s also the national drink of Peru, so if you’re a fan of the “adopted Craig” headcanon, then this one holds double significance!

Tweek Tweak: Spiked Thai Iced Coffee

  • Strong Black Regular Ground Coffee (Enough to brew 4 cups)
  • 4 Tbsp Sugar
  • 4 Tbsp Heavy Cream
  • 2 Tsp Ground Cardamom
  • 3 ounces Amaretto
  • Crushed Ice

Add the cardamom to the ground coffee. Brew the coffee according to makers instructions. Pour the coffee into a pitcher or large glass. Add the sugar and Amaretto, and stir to combine. Fill four 12 ounce glasses with crushed ice. Pour the coffee into each glass and top each with 1 tablespoon of cream.

It wouldn’t be Tweek without coffee! This drink is sweet and spicy, just the right thing to calm you when the anxiety is hitting hard. But luckily it’s still light enough that it won’t give you a case of the GAH jitters.

Clyde Donovan: The Crybaby

  • 1.5 oz. Breuckelen Glorious Gin
  • 1 oz. Sour Beer
  • ½ oz. Rosemary Syrup
  • ½ oz. Lemon Juice
  • ¼ oz. Yogurt Whey
  • Angostura bitters
  • Rosemary Sprig

In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, combine Breuckelen Glorious Gin, Sour Beer, Rosemary Syrup, Lemon Juice, and Yogurt Whey and shake. Mist with angostura bitters and garnish with a rosemary sprig. Serve neat.

A seriously sour sip to drown the pain of rejection, family deaths, and realizing that there’s no glory in being a pirate (Poor Clyde!). This drink is a little heavier than most others, but if you feel like bursting into tears it could be just what you need!

Token Black: Chocolate Coquito

  • 1 can (13.5 oz) Coconut Milk
  • 1 and ½ Bars (3.5 oz) Bittersweet Dark Chocolate
  • 1 can (15 oz) Coconut Cream
  • 1 can (14 oz) Condensed Milk
  • ½ cup Evaporated Milk
  • 2 Tsp Vanilla Extract
  • ½ Tsp Ground Cinnamon
  • ½ Tsp Ground Nutmeg
  • 2 cups Light Rum

Break chocolate into medium pieces and place in a bowl. In a small sauce pan, warm up coconut milk. Once hot, pour over the chocolate and mix well until chocolate has melted and combined with the coconut milk. In a blender, combine chocolate mixture, coconut cream, condensed milk and evaporated milk. Add the vanilla, cinnamon and nutmeg. Finally, add the rum. Blend until all is well combined. Pour into glass bottles, seal well and refrigerate. Serve cold in small drink glasses and garnish with a sprinkle of shaved chocolate. Shake well before serving. (Note: This drink will become very thick once it gets cold. Let it sit out about 15 minutes before serving to thin it a bit.)

Dark and rich, sweet but not too sweet, with a calming effect and plenty of personality, now that’s a Token drink! Dark chocolate has also been shown to have brain boosting benefits, which even the naturally gifted Token wouldn’t mind, I’m sure! Should balance out the brain stupidifying properties of alcohol! …right?

Jimmy Valmer: Anabolic Steroid (Shot)

  • Blue Curaçao
  • Midori
  • Cointreau

Hold a spoon against the side of the shot glass and allow the alcohol to gently pour onto the back of the spoon into the glass.The Blue Curaçao goes in first so you don’t need to do the ‘back of the spoon’ trick. Fill it about one third of the way up the glass. Next get your Midori, if it helps, rather than pour from the bottle you can pour some Midori into the Midori lid and then pour that onto the back of the spoon really really really slowly. It might look like it’s mixing but if you look from the side you can see there is a difference between the blue & green. So again, another third of the glass is filled and then finally you want to do the same with the Cointreau. Slowly filling the shot glass until you get to the top.

No, this isn’t real steroids like the ones Jimmy used to try to win the Special Olympics, but it’ll make you feel like a w-w-winner regardless! Its vibrancy and fun look is sure to be a crowd pleaser!

Butters Stotch: Topical Painkiller

  • 2 ounces Dark Rum
  • 1 ½ ounces Coconut Milk
  • 3 ounces Orange Juice
  • 3 ounces Pineapple Juice
  • Pineapple Wedge and Cherry to garnish

Fill cocktail shaker about half full with ice cubes. Add Dark Rum, Coconut Milk, Orange Juice, and Pineapple Juice, seal and shake. Pour into a small cocktail glass filled with ice and serve.

Sweet, fruity, and seemingly innocent, but with quiet a bit of feistiness! And after being the butt of so many jokes and suffering parental abuse for as long as he has, well, Butters could probably use some (tropical) painkillers.


Well, that’s it for this one! I guess if people like these, the next post will be drinks for the ladies of South Park!

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“YTDAD: Miranda Sing’s Miranda Stings!”

YOU WILL NEED:

  • Lemons
  • Fresh Ginger
  • Ginger Liquer
  • Tonic
  • Honey Jack Daniels

THIS IS HOW YA DO IT:

  1. Squeeze half a lemon into a shaker full of ice.
  2. Grate some fresh ginger into the shaker.
  3. Add ginger liquer and honey Jack Daniels.
  4. ~*Shake it up, shake it up, do the Macarena*~
  5. Rim a glass in a messy amount of strawberry preserves, just for the added Miranda Sings touch.
  6. Pour a touch of tonic into the bottom of a glass.
  7. Pour the booze from the shaker on top.
  8. Cheers!! It’s delichus!!

“You know, Miranda, we actually have quite a bit in common. You’re known for your vocal chords, and I’m known as a local fjord.”

BLUE LAGOON

Ingredients:

Lime

1 oz. Simple syrup

1 oz. Blue Curacao

½ oz. Peach Schnapps

2 oz. Vodka

Sparkling water

Preparation:

Mix the simple syrup, juice from lime, peach schnapps and vodka in a shaker filled with ice. Add the Blue curacao to a glass full of ice. Once it all sinks to the bottom add the mixture from the shaker. Top with sparkling water. 

Blueberry Lime Sunrise Cocktail 

This colorful cocktail uses fresh lime and the juice of sweet blueberries for a twist on the classic Tequila Sunrise. It’s a mix of summery citrus flavors that is perfect for an afternoon cookout. You can also chill it and serve it in a martini glass for a dressier drink to kick off a more formal occasion.

SERVINGS: 2

TIME TO TABLE:
5 minutes prep.

INGREDIENTS:
4 oz. fresh Paramount Citrus lime juice
4 oz. fresh Paramount Citrus Valencia orange juice
2 ½ oz. fresh blueberry juice (about 1 cup of berries)
3 oz. gold tequila
Ice
Paramount Citrus lime slices for garnish

PREPARATION

1. Add the lime juice, orange juice, blueberry juice and tequila to a large cocktail shaker. Stir well.

2. Fill two eight ounce cocktail glasses half full with ice. Strain half of the cocktail into each glass. Garnish with a lime slice and serve.

University - Chapter Three

(Hartbig) Multi-chapter AU: Grace and Hannah meet during their first year of university

other parts

“These fucking freshmen activities are wearing me down, Grace,” Michelle says collapsing onto her bed. Her soft sheets are everything she needs right now.

“Come on, dude, we’ve got the whole night ahead of us. You promised that girl across the hall at least two drinks tonight.”

Michelle rubs her temples, “I think the girl’s name is Mahmrie. And of course we’ll go over there! Right after I nap.” Grace never expected to be the person pulling someone else out of bed, but then again, college is for new experiences, right? You have no idea. 

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ALCOHOLIDAYS: Donut F*ck With Me Martini

YOU WILL NEED:

  • Kahlua
  • Cake Vodka
  • A Shot of Espresso
  • Confectioners Sugar
  • Milk (Mamrie uses Silk)
  • Vanilla Extract
  • Sprinkles

THIS IS HOW YA DO IT:

  1. For the glaze: Add ½ a cup of confectioners sugar to a bowl. Add a splash of milk, add a capful of vanilla extract, and whisk it all up. Get it into a thick creamy paste… if it’s not thick enough, add more sugar.
  2. Rim your glass with the glaze and dip it into the sprinkles. Stick the glass in the fridge.
  3. To a shaker full of ice, add the espresso, Kahlua, and vodka.
  4. ~*Shake it up!*~
  5. Pour the drink into your cold glass and enjoy!

THE SUN ALSO RISES

Ingredients:

2 ounces light rum
¾ of an ounce fresh lime juice
½ of an ounce fresh grapefruit juice

½ of an ounce maraschino liqueur
1 teaspoon absinthe or Pernod
Grapefruit twist, for garnish 

Preparation:

Combine everything in a shaker full of ice and shake.  Strain into a chilled cocktail glass (original recipe calls for the glass to be filled with crushed ice; I skipped this).  Garnish with grapefruit twist.

LAVENDER BEE’S KNEES

Ingredients:

  • 2 oz gin
  • ¾ oz lavender honey syrup
  • 1 oz lemon juice

Lavender Honey Syrup:

  • ¼ cup honey
  • 1/8 cup hot water
  • 1 teaspoon dried lavender

Preparation:

To make the lavender honey syrup, combine hot water with honey and stir until evenly mixed. Add lavender, stirring to combine. Let cool, approximately 30 minutes, then pour through a fine mesh strainer to remove lavender.

For the cocktail, combine all ingredients in a shaker full of ice. Shake vigorously for 10 full seconds. Double strain into a cocktail glass and garnish with a lavender sprig.

CHERRY LEMON MARTINI

Ingredients:

  • Ice
  • 2 parts cherry lemonade vodka
  • ½ part triple sec
  • ½ part simple syrup
  • 1 part fresh lemon juice
  • Granulated sugar, for rimming 

Preparation:

Use lemon wedge to rub around rim of glass; dip in sugar to coat.Fill shaker half full of ice and add vodka, lemon juice, triple sec and simple syrup. Shake vigorously and strain into martini glass.

GOLDEN ALE BEER COCKTAIL

Ingredients:

  • 1 lemon wedge
  • smoked sea salt
  • 1 scant barspoon hot sauce
  • 2 pony shots (2 fl oz) vodka
  • ½ pony shot (½ fl oz) Elderflour liqueur (such as St. Germain)
  • ½ fl oz lime juice (or yuzu)
  • ½ fl oz lemon juice
  • 1 tbs honey simple syrup (honey and very warm water, 1:1 ratio, stir)
  • 4-6 tbs (2-3 fl oz) Belgian style golden ale beer

Preparation:

  • Use the lemon wedge to lightly moisten the rim of a highball glass.
  • Pour the salt onto a small saucer, spreading in a thin layer.
  • Press the rim into the salt, cookie cutter style, twisting back and fourth to coat the rim with salt.
  • Fill glass with ice cubes.
  • Into a cocktail shaker filled 2/3 full with ice, add hot sauce, vodka, elderflour liqueur, lime juice (or yuzu), lemon juice, and honey syrup
  • Cover and shake.
  • Strain into prepared glass, stir in the Belgian Ale.

HONEY WHISKEY LEMONADE

Ingredients:

  • ice cubes, as needed
  • 5 Tbsp Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey, or any whiskey of choice
  • ½ cup spring thyme lemonade
  • 1 Tbsp simple syrup
  • splash of honey
  • 2 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
  • lemon peels and lemon wedges
  • lemon thyme sprigs, for garnish

Preparation:

  1. Fill cocktail shaker half full of ice cubes. Add 5 tablespoons of whiskey.
  2. Add ½ cup of lemonade to shaker.  In a small bowl, mix together 1 tablespoon simple syrup and a splash of honey.  If honey is very thick, microwave it for a couple seconds to thin it out.  Add honey syrup to shaker.
  3. Add 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice to shaker and stir to combine.
  4.  Fill 2 serving glasses with ice and garnish with a lemon wedge.  Cover cocktail shaker with a strainer.
  5. Pour cocktail into prepared serving glasses.  Discard used iced. Garnish finished cocktail with lemon peel and lemon thyme sprigs if desired. And enjoy!  CHEERS!
3

Awkwardness, spice, and a shaker full of ice
These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect YouTubers
But the hands of fate accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction…bloody marys
Thus, the Holy Trinity was born!
Using their genius comedic antics,
Mamrie, Hannah, and Grace
Have dedicated their lives to bringing smiles
And the joy. Of. LAUGHTER!

Smug

NSFW, SFF, 1.716 words.

-

Smug

It’s a quarter to eleven when she finally gets home, tired from an entire day of running around from meeting to meeting, with a collaboration or two in between. She pulls up her new car, the replacement for the Fiesta she’s had to return, when she notices a silhouette sitting on her doorstep. Not now. She doesn’t know who it is, but she’s definitely not up for visitors, definitely not right now. She swings her door open and sighs, before squinting at the figure getting up.

“Hey?” She calls out, “What’s up?”

“You tell me what’s up.” She recognises the voice immediately, “What’s up with your videos today?”

Maybe she can just deal with this. Maybe.

“Did you like them?” She smirks, getting closer to her door as she grabs her keys.

“I thought we read that Fifty Shades thing way better.”

“You don’t read, Mames.”

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