shake my head yo

#197 - For anonymous x2

Filling the prompts “one where Van meets a girl and at first they’re just friends and she always goes away when he smokes because she hates it and then Van finds out she has asthma and sees how she struggles breathing and quits smoking because of her?” and “i had a dream last month where a young van who was just starting catfish and was around 18 stayed at a student hotel i worked at, and i thought it would maybe make a good fic prompt?”

People always said you should find a job where your skills and traits were a benefit. Your innate self needed to be useful, rather than something to be hidden. They also cited the cliché of finding something that makes you want to get out of bed. You’d just invested in a thick, fluffy mattress topper though. There was not a lot that would make you want to get out of bed, but you knew what they meant. Surprisingly, you found the perfect job early on in life. You did work experience at sixteen at a hostel in town. You spent the two weeks washing clothes and wiping down tables, but you loved it. When you turned eighteen, you went back and asked for a job. A year later, you were still in love with it.

The hostel’s proximity to a bunch of music venues meant that a lot of the people that came through were young musicians. Messy by nature, but amazingly cool and kind, you liked making them tea and listening to their stories. You were organised enough to be able to run the front desk, but you liked having a few minutes to yourself too, so you never caused a fuss when asked to go do the washing. Some of your best friends were made there, and it would also provide the setting for meeting the absolute love of your life.

Catfish and the Bottlemen were playing across the road on a Friday and Saturday night. They’d open for Friday’s band, and had enough faith in themselves that people would come see them headline if they booked the next night too. Taylor, your manager, said it was a cocky move, but as you both sat at the desk reading about them, you came to the conclusion that they probably weren’t wrong.

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The stupid and embarrassingly personal stuff I share with you guys sometimes… I can already see the 50 yo me shaking my head while applying lotion on my STILL BABY SOFT 50 YO BUTT CHEEKS CUZ I’VE BEEN MOISTURIZING ‘EM!

Callum Airey Imagine: Football

For the amazing @wroetominter


“Cal you do release its like -10 degrees outside, I don’t think shorts are the best idea.” I tell my boyfriend whose getting dressed in the most inappropriate clothes.

“I’m a man I can take the cold, so silence woman.” He tells me with a smirk. I shake my head grabbing a pair of running pants because I know he’s going to be begging for them after 5 minutes.

“Can you guys hurry up? We’ve been waiting for half an hour.” Harry comes in whining.

“Calm Harold we are done and its him you are waiting for not me I’ve been awake since fucking 7am. I bought you breakfast.” I correct Harry.

“What? You bought him breakfast? Where’s mine?” Cal asks getting jealous.

“Its in the fucking shop, now move your damn arse out of the door before I kick it.” I threaten Cal. He walks past me with a stupid smirk on his face then stops and shakes his arse in front of me.

I kick his butt, forcing him out of the door. I let out a laugh as he falls out of the door onto his face. “Awhh baby, I’m sorry” I laugh out as it run to him. He jumps up, a smile on his face, and brushes off his knees and continues walking. I follow beside him grabbing his waist.

We finally get to the freezing, windy football pitch and I thank the lord that I brought my coat. I wrap myself in it and a scarf to keep my face from freezing. I greet everyone before setting myself up behind the camera. They were filming quite a few videos today with the sidemen and some others.

First up was a power shot thing. I stayed behind the camera with Cal , who refused to admit he was cold. He stood behind me with his arms wrapped around me , his head resting on my shoulder. I rub his cold arms as he waits for his turn. Finally he’s up and does his stupid intro for the video before going up the ball.

As he’s about to kick it he turns around ,“I’m shit at this, I’m really shit at this.” We all cheer him on and he goes for it, kicking the ball. Simon tells him the speed and he cheers, running behind the camera and grabbing me in a hug and spinning me.

“Get off you weirdo.” I laugh out as he continues to spin me. He finally stops spinning, me still in his arms. I look down at him, which is a very rare occasion. “You look like a 3 year old from up here.” I inform him.

“You look like Rudolf from down here.” He teases, lowering me to the ground. “Still so beautiful though” he says before pecking me in the lips. I smile into the kiss, savouring every moment. We stay in each others company cuddling as we wait for the others to have their turns.

Finally we finish the first video and move onto Cals video, Blindfolded Penalties. After Cal swaps in his memory card he runs over to me.

“Did you bring any joggers or anything? my legs are freezing.” Cal asks me.

“What happened to being a man?” I ask him, crossing my arms.

“I’m cold that’s what happened. Babe please.” He begs. I grab them out of my bag and hand them to him.

“Where are you going to change into them?” I ask him. He looks around and there is no privacy. He grabs me and pills me with him over to a corner that is guarded my a tree.

“Stand here so no one can see.” He instructs me. I do, opening my coat to give some extra coverage. He quickly kicks off his shoes and and shorts pulling on the pants, I smirk at the sight of him in boxers. He puts his hand over my eyes. “Stop checking me out.” He jokes as he pulls them over his butt. I drop my coat and wait for him to put on his shorts and pull his socks over the pants.

“Y\N help, my fingers are freezing I can’t do my laces.” Cal asks me as he hold up his long pale hands. Shaking my head I kneel down and tie his laces for him.

“Yo look at this, Cal has got Y/N tying his laces.” Simon shouts across the field and to his camera.

“My hands are cold so i cant and at least I got someone willing to do then for me.” Cal shouts back giving Simon the finger.

I finish up his laces and pull him up off the ground. He puts his arm around my shoulder and we walk back to the others.

They all group around the camera to do the intro. “Is it in focus babe?” Cal asks from the other side. I nod and count them down and press record. I give them the thumbs up and they start the intro. For the end of the into cal kicks the ball at the camera which it hits then goes straight into my face.

“Arrgghh dickhead” I groan at the pain. Its not the ball that hurt its that my face is freezing and cold and pressure don’t mix well. Cal quickly runs over to me, encasing me in his arms.

“Sorry, sorry. Are you okay?” He asks me looking down at me.

“I’m fine. What’s happening with my face?” I ask knowing its probably red. Cal confirms my suspicions. He gives me a quick peck, keeping me by his side as they start filming.

Harry goes first and kicks it but misses the goal by a mile. “What do you want to do tonight?” I ask Cal because we have a free night which is rare.

“Don’t really care, as long as Harry doesn’t crash like last time.” He says loudly making sure Harry hears.

“You invited me to join” Harry defends himself.

“A movie marathon then”’ I tell cal. He nods his head.

“But if there is any Ryan Reynolds I’m gone.” Cal tells me, jealousy washing over his face because of my recent obsession with Ryan Reynolds.

“But he’s so fit and I’m watching The Propsal whether you like it or not.” I tell him , which earns me a groan.

“He’s really not, his eyes are too close together.” Cal argues.

I pull away from him, my hand over my heart. “How dare you insult the current sexist dad alive and past sexiest man alive.” I ask jabbing him with my finger.

“Just stop with him, I bloody hate the guy.” Cal whines. Smirking I pull him back into a hug.

“Awhh, the wee baby is jealous.” I say in a bad Scottish accent. Cal puts his hand over my face. “No need to be jealous, your not the guy I dream about but your they guy I want to spend the rest of my life with.” I tell Cal, he smiles but that is quickly changed when I carry on. “Admittedly that is only because he is married.”

“You are a little shit.” Cal says pulling me into a hug. Which is short lasted as everyone runs up to tackle Jamie (JME) because he scored.

Once everyone is back behind the camera Many goes up and they fake his goal and everyone runs up and Josh hits harry in the face with the ball. I burst into laughter as nobody but Josh realises.

Harry gets up and kicks a ball at Josh but misses. Rubbing his face he walks behind the camera. “You okay? Let me see your face.” I tell him grabbing his head. Under his eyes are going slightly black because he hit his nose but other than that hes fine.

When its Cal’s turn he’s goes up and turns to the camera. “This is for my boo” he shouts pointing to me being the camera.

We all cheer for him as he goes up and when he misses Ethan shouts, “Well that was disappointing.”

The rest of the day goes in a similar way, me and cal huddled behind the camera until its his turn, which he dedicated to me each time. By the time we leave for food we are all cold and the guys are dead behind the eyes.

After food we run to tescos get some junk food and go up to the flsr. We get into joggers and make a den in the living room with blankets and pillows. We get comfortable and get ready for our movie marathon, starting with The Proposal. Beside me cal groans as he recognises the starting sequence. He grabs the maoams and starts eating them, not laying attention to the screen.

“Best movie ever.” I tell Cal as I cuddle into his chest taking the maoam from his hand. He wraps his arms around me, tangling out legs together.

“Worst movie ever.” He mutters under his breath.

We stay like this for the duration of 5 movies, both of his drifting off in the middle of movie 6, in the early hours of the morning.

And I couldnt ask for a better way to fall asleep or wake up.

Help Me Escape This Place - Part 2 (Ashton Irwin)

Part 1 // Part 3 // Part 4

Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7

Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10

Part 11 // Part 12 // Part 13

Part 14 // Part 15 // Epilogue

A/N: TW: implied violence and abuse

Angela strides back into the room and they set to work realigning the bones and putting a splint and tight wrap on your wrist before fitting it into a sling.

It probably could have been painful, but the powerful pain killers paired with Ashton’s gentle hands make sure you don’t feel much. He makes a point to quietly reassure you and stroke your skin soothingly while setting your broken bones.

Just after Angela tightens the strap on your sling, Vanessa knocks on the door frame and pulls the curtain back. She enters the room as Angela shuffles out, heading to attend to other patients.

“Hey again, Y/N!” she exclaims happily. “Miss me?”

You laugh at her cheerfulness while shaking your head and looking at the ground.

“Yo, bro! Is my girl all ready for her post-reduction images?” she asks, addressing Ashton directly. “And dude, come on! You know I can’t x-ray her in that sling. Can you take it off? Have some respect for other departments, Doc!”

“Yes, Vanessa. And don’t call me ‘bro’ at work!” he jokes back, swatting at her as she ducks expertly out if his expansive reach.

Your eyes wander toward their friendly exchange and you notice the similarities in their features; they must actually be brother and sister. You smile at how sweet they are together, wishing you had a sibling or a friend like that.

After Ashton slips the sling back over your head, Vanessa motions for you to follow her back to the x-ray department. She gets 2 more quick pictures before walking you back toward your room again.

She turns to you suddenly in the hall before you enter the emergency room again and she speaks to you quickly, seeming nervous. “Listen, Y/N. I don’t know you or anything about you, and this is completely unprofessional and out of line and I’m really, really sorry of this offends you, but do you want to talk about what’s happening to you?”

Your eyes find the floor again as tears flood your vision. You blink furiously, attempting to fight them off. This time, however, you aren’t so lucky. As a single tear slips down your cheek, Vanessa pulls you into the room across the hall that was designated for patient family members. Luckily, it’s empty at the moment.

She pulls you into a comforting hug as you let a few tears fall. “Shh, Y/N. It’s going to be okay. What can I do to help you?” she pleads, seeming genuinely concerned about you.

“Nothing, Vanessa. It’s too much to get out of. I’ll be okay, you don’t need to worry about me,” you say to her, pure despair etched into your features.

“Can you at least be honest with me? I want to try and be your friend. Can you try and let me?” she asks again. As she said those words, you look back up into her eyes. They look so caring and genuine, and you only now recognize how eerily similar they are to her brother’s.

Glancing down to your knotted fingers that were resting in your lap, you sigh and begin to speak quietly, terrified of actually letting the words out that no one has ever heard you speak. Steeling all of your resolve, you look up to her, determined.

“Do you want to hear a story?”

For the next thirty minutes, you talk and Vanessa listens. You tell her all about Dean and what’s become of you both, because it wasn’t always like this.

You and Dean met when your family moved to a new town the summer before starting seventh grade. You were riding your bike around the neighborhood when you located a park where a bunch of kids who appeared to be about your age were playing baseball. You parked your bike and walked over to the swings, swinging lightly and watching the game. The gang took a break to grab some water and mess around, but you noticed a boy standing off to the side looking at you. You blushed and looked away, not used to getting attention from boys. When you looked up again, though, he was making his way toward you. Your heart jumped into your throat and you started breathing harder.

“Hi, I’m Dean,” he said, tilting his head and looking at you thoughtfully. “Are you new around here? I just live a few blocks away and I’ve never seen you before.”

“Umm yeah,” you responded lamely. “I’m Y/N.”

“Well hey Y/N, if you don’t have other plans, you could play baseball with us if you want. I could teach you how.” he offered. You were slightly annoyed that he assumed you knew nothing about sports, but accepted his invitation anyway.

After stepping up to the plate and knocking a three run homer over the fence, you had a new group of friends, and Dean decided that you were going to be his girlfriend.

That was twelve years ago. Now, here you are. A 24 year old woman whose relationship with that sweet 12 year old boy had turned into something toxic. It was beyond toxic, actually, and you feared that it was going to turn deadly.

With a brave face, you go on to tell Vanessa how it all went downhill. How his controlling and condescending personality as a young boy had turned him into a bitter and vile man. After high school, he cut you off from your friends and family completely, and moved you to new places whenever he felt you were getting comfortable. He was in absolute and undeniable control of your life. He hadn’t allowed you to get an education and he wouldn’t let you work at all. You were at his mercy for everything and it was awful.

What was even worse though, was that about four years ago, the physical abuse started. It started off with some slapping and pushing, filling you with a terror for him that you’d never known before. Over the past few years, it had gotten so much worse. A dislocated shoulder and broken collarbone, a broken ankle, multiple black eyes and terrible bruises, broken ribs, a broken nose, and now your wrist. He punched you, kicked and hit you, threw you around; he basically treated you like a mix between a punching bag and a rag doll.

When you’ve finished your whole story, Vanessa is staring at you with silent tears streaming down her face. Ironically, your eyes had dried. Telling Vanessa was therapeutic in a way. It felt like a tremendous weight had been lifted off of your shoulders.

“You have to let us help you Y/N. You have to. We can help you!” she pleads.

“Why?” you finally ask the question that had been plaguing your mind all afternoon. “Why do you even care?”

“I don’t know, Y/N. I don’t know why I feel like a friend to you, but I do,” she reasons. “I want to help you, and I know Ashton will feel the same.”

The mention of Ashton makes your heart speed up and you push the image of his smiling face from your mind.

“I don’t even know what you’d be able to do to help me, Vanessa. It’s not that I don’t appreciate it - because I do,” you explain. “I appreciate your concern, but I don’t have any resources to get out. I don’t have any money or family. I don’t even have a job!”

She looks down at her feet and then back into your nervous eyes. “You don’t need to worry about that right now. You can come and stay with us until we figure it out.”

“Us?” you question.

“Ashton and me,” she replied, like it was the easiest thing in the world. “We’re going to help you, Y/N. You deserve better than this.”

You stare at her blankly for several moments before her words actually sink in. Vanessa wants to help you. Vanessa and Ashton. Could this actually happen? As you’re contemplating her offer in your head, the door to the Family Room flings open and a panicked looking Ashton rushes inside.

“I couldn’t find you guys! You’ve been gone for over an hour!” he rushes over nervously and sits down next to you on the couch, grabbing your uninjured hand again and rubbing his thumb over your knuckles as your cheeks flush from his quick attention. “What are you doing in here?”

Your eyes drop back to the floor as they well up with tears again while Vanessa quickly interjects. “Ashton, we need to talk to you. When is your shift over?”

“What time is it now? I’ve been here since 8:00 last night I think,” he answers his sister as he rubs his free hand over his eyes.

“It’s almost noon now,” you murmur softly, focusing on Ashton’s gentle movements.

“Shit, I guess I can probably head out at any time. Dr. Andrews got here at 11 and there are 2 PAs. When’s your shift over Nessa?”

“I’m supposed to leave at 1 but we’re slow. I can leave now,” she nods. “Do you guys want to grab lunch or something?”

Your eyes widen with nerves and Ashton gives your hand a reassuring squeeze, focusing his gaze on you. “I don’t know. I’m not really supposed to…”

Ashton lets out a harsh sigh and his head falls down to look at the ground angrily. He stands quickly, pulling you up with him. “We can grab take out and eat at home,” he says, addressing Vanessa directly.

She excuses herself to go get her things from her locker and Ashton walks with you back to your room. He gets all of your discharge paperwork from Angela himself which earns another few odd looks from the stern nurse. After all of the papers are signed and a prescription for pain medication is in your hands, you head out to the parking lot with Vanessa and Ashton.

You walk outside and Ashton is furiously typing on his phone. Vanessa stops walking and looks toward you. “Where did you park?”

Ashton’s head snaps up as you reply, “I walked. I don’t have a car.”

“How far do you live from here?” he asks quietly, his eyes never leaving yours.

“About 5 miles,” you mumble in response. You hear a low growl come from Ashton as he tells Vanessa to take you in her car.

You head to Vanessa’s silver BMW while Ashton gets into his black SUV. He offers to stop and get food for lunch and meet the two of you afterwards.

“Are we going to your house or Ashton’s?” you ask, suddenly nervous that you have no idea where you’re being taken.

She looks at you confused until she realizes that she hasn’t explained anything at all. “Ashton and I live together, Y/N.”

You nod in understanding, and the rest of the short drive is silent as you stare out the window and wonder what the repercussions of your current actions will be.

Vanessa pulls into the driveway of a cute little house about 10 minutes later. The house is nice and well taken care of and appears to be in a safe and friendly neighborhood. You smile as you notice planters of brightly colored flowers lining the wrap around porch. There are several comfortable looking chairs with tables in between with a few books strewn about on top of them. It’s clear that they spend a lot of time outside.

You step out of the car and hold your face up to the sun, letting the bright light warm you. You release a deep breath and start to relax for the first time today. Vanessa leads you to the front door and is chattering away about her and Ashton’s home.

“…so after he finished his residency and I was already established at the hospital, Ashton got in at the same place. It just made sense to buy a place together. We’re only 2 years apart and we’ve always been really close. Hopefully within the next year or two I’ll be moving in with my boyfriend Luke and we’ll sell the place.”

Wanting to hear about something happy, you ask Vanessa about her boyfriend. “Tell me about him?” you ask her timidly, unsure if she wanted you to know about her life.

She opens the door and ushers you inside. As she offers you a bottle of water from the fridge which you happily accept, she sits you down in a stool at the kitchen counter and tells you a little about her life.

She explains that Ashton and she had grown up in the area with their mother Anne. She only lives a few miles away and they are very close with her. Apparently, Vanessa and Ashton have a few close friends that they have known their entire lives because of their mothers. Anne and her three best friends all had children around the same time, and she and Ashton had always been close with Luke, Calum, and Michael.

Vanessa and Luke were just friends at first, but after a while of not seeing much of each other in college, they were reunited and the rest was history. Vanessa is clearly smitten with Luke and you can’t help wanting to meet him. She tells you about Luke’s blue eyes and blonde hair and perfect dimples and his lip-piercing. He sounds amazing, but not your type. All of a sudden you thought hazel eyes and light brown curls were the most attractive.

You shake your head again to clear your thoughts as Ashton walks in carrying two bags filled with sandwiches and chips. You immediately jump up to help, but he shoos you off, setting the bags on the counter.

He smiles warmly at you before going over to the cabinets and retrieving some plates, napkins, and silverware. “I got a few different kinds of sandwiches, Y/N. I didn’t know what you’d like.” he offers quietly, with a slight reddening in his face.

“I’m not particular.” you reply diplomatically. He places a sandwich on a plate and slides it toward you, opening two different bags of chips and grabbing himself a water from the fridge. As you all began eating, Vanessa wastes no time in putting you on the spot.

“Y/N, we have to tell him what’s going on.” she said matter-of-factly.

Your eyes return to the floor and fill with tears again. You take a deep breath as your heart rate increases. You push your plate away, suddenly no longer hungry as you glance over to Ashton who is staring at you intently.

Blinking back your tears, you tell Ashton everything that you had told Vanessa, not sparing a single detail of the hell that you had been out through. The life is drained completely from your eyes as you tell your story with no emotion while Ashton’s eyes are swirling with a million different ones.

He never interrupts you, and as soon as you finish speaking and look back down at the floor, you see Ashton’s sock covered feet quickly leave the room.

You look over at Vanessa, who again has tears on her cheeks. She pushes your plate back toward you. “Finish your lunch, sweet heart. I’ll be right back.”

24. - Wanna Label me a Criminal and Cuff me Up.

I’m out this motherfucker?
I can go?
Oh, fuck y'all eh, fuck the judge
Fuck the motherfuckin’ district attourney and the prosecutor 
And fuck you motherfuckers in the jury box
Fuck all y'all
Cause I’m out on motherfuckin’ bail
y'all ain’t never gonna see me in this motherfucker again


It was the day after everything had gone down at the showcase. I had gone out early and pawned most the shit the boys stole from ole creeps house and proceeded to head down to the shelter.

We had racked in a shitload of money and I happily handed over the entire amount to my favourite old lady, Miss Andrews. As always she refused the money and we spent a good half an hour going back and forth before she finally caved in. 

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Chapter TwentyFive


“Shit baby, yea just like that”, I groaned as Lani continued to take my entire length in her mouth. Niggas wonder why I aint step out on my girl, well its shit like this that keeps ya boy in line. Ain’t no need to find no other broad to satisfy my needs when I got the baddest woman in my bed every night and she ain’t even need to be asked or told to get a need off.

Resting my head back on the pillow, my eyes looking up at the ceiling while my hand found its way to the back of her head, grabbing a fist full of her straight hair.

The feel of my dick hitting the back of her throat had me gritting my teeth, trying my hardest not to bust then and there as I was enjoying this way too much to finish off quickly.

“Mmmm, taste so good”, Lani mumbled, sending a wave of vibrations all the way down to my toes causing a grunt to escape my lips. Suddenly the feel of her removing my length caused me to lift my head and look down at her with a raised eyebrow, “Why’d yo-shittttttt”, I groaned as she began sucking the life out of the tip while cuffing my balls and massaging them.

“Damn it Lani”, I groaned as after a few minutes she once again took my entire length and began deep throating me like never before, “Ain’t even my birthday bra”, I chuckled lowly to myself as my head fell back on the pillow and continued to enjoy this special treatment.

Feeling my nut building up by the second, my grip in Lani’s hair got tighter as I began to guide her head faster while, I lifted my hips and began thrusting myself into her mouth.

A few minutes later, I let out a grunt before clenching my jaw tight, “Fuckkkkk”, I groaned hard as I blew a large load down Lani’s mouth, which she gladly swallowed without hesitation. Breathing hard as I closed my eyes and tried to catch my breath, though sound of Lani’s laugh caused me to open one eye and look over at her.

Cocking my head to the side, I lifted myself up so I was upright while Lani slid of the bed while wiping the sides of her mouth with a cocky smirk across her face, “Tell me what I did to deserve that, so I can keep doing it”, I winked as she shook her head and began swaying her hips as she walked towards the bathroom.

“Baddest bitch, you in first placeeeeee”, I sung out while chuckling and slipping out of bed too follow my girl so I could get a fuck in before the day officially begins. 

Unfortunately my luck ran thin, as Isaiahs sniffles and low cries came through the monitor before I had even made it halfway to the bathroom, “Ty please go get my baby”, Lani yelled from inside the toilet causing me to mentally roll my eyes at how obvious the shit she pointed out was.

“OUR baby, woman”, I huffed as I slid into my basketball shorts and made my way out the bedroom with the sound of her laughing filled the room. Shaking my head at my crazy woman, I jogged towards Isaiahs room and bust through the door like a crazy man.

There sitting up on the bed was Isaiah, who had his small hands balled into fists as he rubbed his eyes, trying to wipe away his tears,”Why is my little man sad?”, I muttered as I immediately made my way over while frowning and trying to control my temper.

Seeing my son crying or upset, was something that set me off almost as much as the thought of Lani leaving me, “Daddy, come daddy”, He sniffled as he began crawling across the bed until he I was in reach of him, where I proceeded to pick him up.

“Whats wrong Zay?”, I asked, concern all in my voice as I ran my hand through his curls and looked him over making sure he was alright, “Potty”, He mumbled lowly before hiding his face in the side of my neck. Chucking as I shook my head, I immediately took him back to my bedroom so I could take him to the toilet.

“Ain’t no need to cry over that man, come on”, I chuckled as I opened the ensuite door where I found Lani tying her hair in a high ponytail, “Aww theres my baby, what’s wrong?”, She cooed before soon pouting when she saw Isaiahs red eyes.

“Ninja needed to use the toilet”, I muttered as I sat him on his feet and helped him pull his pajama pants down, before lifting him up and sitting him on the toilet. Once Zay was done, I helped him down and lifted him up so he could wash his hands before carrying him over my shoulder into our bedroom.

Lani was already sitting in the middle of the bed with a cheesy smile, while opening up her arms to take Isaiah, “Happy birthday to my handsome boy”, She cooed while placing kisses all over his face which caused him to start laughing as he wiggled in her grip.

“Damn its yo birthday, Zay? How old are you man?”, I joked with him as I laid back on the bed and watched on as Lani sat him on my stomach before resting her head on my pillow as she snuggled close.

“Im tree daddy”, Zay laughed as he held up 3 small fingers while Lani and I both just laughed at his pronunciation of ‘three’, “Its thhh-ree sweetie”, Lani chuckled as she ran her hand through his curls .

“T-ree”, Zay sounded out causing us both to chuckle once again, “Its okay man, you can be tree all you want”, I grinned why lifting him in the air above my head as he giggled and squealed.

“Okay, okay enough playing around lets go downstairs so I can feed my boys some pancakes and open some presents”, Lani grinned as she slid off the bed and turned around so she take a beaming Zay from my hands.

“Ohh shit, you got me presents baby?”, I joked while standing up and wrapping my arm around her shoulder just as Isaiah began shaking his head, “No for me”, He pouted while looking between the both of us.

“Yes there for you sweetheart, daddy aint getting nothing”, Lani said while laughing alongside Zay at my now satly expression I wore as we made our way down the stairs.

“Damn I get no love huh”, I playfully frowned while shaking my head and walking in front of them towards the kitchen where I found LJ lounging on one of the chairs.

Picking him up, I rested him in my arms so that his head was laying over my shoulder while he continued to sleep, “You still love me tho, dont you LJ”, I muttered as Lani and Zay’s giggles could be heard from behind me.

“Wuv you daddy”, Zay squealed causing me to grin as I turned around and found him with his arms stretched out trying to reach for me, “I’on think so little ninja, aint even wanna share none of your presents with yo old man”, I frowned while shaking my head causing Zays bottom lip to tremble as his eyes watered.

“Ah shit, I was just playing man”, I chuckled as I handed Lj to a smirking Lani and picked up Isaiah from her arms. Almost instantly, he wrapped his hands around my neck and buried his face while I laughed and kissed the top of his head.

Shaking my head with a grin, I took a seat on the chair as Lani began making us pancakes. Isaiah however stayed buried in my chest, arms holding onto me for dear life. Resting my forehead on top of his head, I couldnt help but think was this what it was like with Lani.

I will be the first to admit that my life depended on Nalani, completely. I was so emotionally, mentally and physically attached to this woman that just her very presences was the most comforting and soothing I had ever experienced. Isaiah seemed to adopt that same trait from me. 

He only ever seemed completely settled and at ease when he was close to me or in my arms. Not even with Lani was he that attached and it was something that we had both picked up on. I didnt mind though, I first hand understood what its like to be abandoned and have no love from anyone for a period of time. Then when you do finally find love, whether a parents love or a companions love, you’d do anything to hold onto it tight and not let go.

“You wanna open one of your presents before you eat?”, I whispered lowly to Zay causing his grip to loosen up as he slowly pulled away and looked up at me with his big brown eyes,“You help me daddy?”, He asked quietly causing me to grin as I nodded his head.

“Ight, stay with mommy for a minute and i’ll go get it ight?”, I told him to which he slowly nodded as he contemplated letting go and going over to his moms who was flipping the pancakes, “Lani, come take Zay for a minute”, I muttered as I stood up off the chair and walked around the bench, handing over Isaiah.

Jogging down the hallway towards the games room, I spotted one of Isaiahs larger gifts and proceeded to pick up the 40 kilo gift before slowly making my way back towards the kitchen.

As soon as I came into view and Zay spotted me, his excitement shot through the roof and he began bouncing around in his moms arms with laughing and clapping his hands. Seeing his excitement always brightened my mood and today I was going to make sure that cheesy smile did not leave his face at all.

“Ohhh look at that baby”, Lani chuckled as she kissed his cheek and set him on his feet where she guided him over to where I had sat the huge gift on the floor,“Mine?”, Zay asked me with wide eyes causing me to chuckle as I nodded my head and sat on the floor next to it. Taking this as an invitation, he ran over and fell into my lap before turning around so he could face the gift.

“Help daddy”, He cheerfully said as his tiny hands tried ripping off the paper off just as Lani stood to the side smiling hard as she began taking photos and videos of the first birthday that he spends with us.

“Here, little man. Rip it from here”, I showed him as I held onto his hands and helped him tear through his first gift of the day. Finally getting it all off, Zay jumped up on his feet while squealing as he jumped up and down, “Like yours daddy, like yours!”, He beamed as he started circling the power operated mini Bugatti that was an exact replica of mine.

“Just like mine little man. We can even race now”, I grinned as I watched him try and get in before looking over at me for some help, “You like it sweetie?”, Lani asked as I sat him in the seat while she crouched down on the other side to give him a kiss.

Nodding his head, he wrapped one arm around Nala’s neck and pecked her lips, “Wuv it mommy, just like daddys”, He grinned as held onto the steering wheel while I turned it on so he could drive it.

“Please be careful”, Lani frowned at me as I began showing him the gas pedal and the breaks, “Relax baby he’s got this”, I chuckled as I kissed her lips and watched as she made her way back over to the kitchen bench so she could get our plates ready.

The rest of the morning was spent with just the three of us. We devoured a ton of pancakes until we struggled to move, Zay drove his car all over the house until Lani made us go outside where he continued to drive around and the rest of the morning was then filled with him opening a dozen other presents.

By the time it hit 12:30 the whole outside was decorated like a kids wonderland, courtesy of Briana, Jas and Lanis over excitement for today. Varies jumping castles, face painters, pony rides and they even went all out and hired carnivals rides and games. Lets just say they gave my credit card a nice workout but I didn’t mind as I wanted today to be a party he would literally never forget.

Once 1:30 hit people filled the back yard and children who were mostly from the orphanage, ran around like chickens without their heads. Although this was my sons day and I was beyond happy that he was enjoying himself, I couldn’t help but want to strangle most of the party guests.

By 3:00 I was ready to kick niggas out but of course couldn’t cause this was for my son. Sensing my annoyance Lani had made sure to come over a few times to calm me from kicking one of the kids in the head and so far I was doing pretty good if I do say so myself.

Why was I so on edge? Well because I had a bunch of people all up in my personal space and I for one hated people in general. Home was the one place I could escape but right now I couldn’t even do that .

“Ty, your face is all scrunched up again”, Lani whispered as she came from out of know where and stood in front of me with her hands on her hips, “I love my kid, I swear I do but forreal Im ready to start kicking people in the throats”, I muttered as I placed a cigarette in my mouth only to have it snatched back out causing an immediate mug to fall over my face.

“Theres kid here Tyson, no smoking”, Lani gritted out causing me to clench my jaw as my breathing began to pick up, “Nalani, Im really close to fucking losing it so dont push me ight, dont be fucking snatching shit from me either”, I spat out harshly, not feeling the least bit bad as she looked back me with wide eyes from shock.

“Daddyyyyyyy”, I heard Zay call out distantly causing Lani and I to break our stare down and turn our attention towards Isaiah who was running over towards us.

“Wassup little man”, I muttered as calmly as possible while bending down and picking him up while Lani just stood there slightly frowning, “Come play, you too mommy”, He beamed as he looked over his mom, who was trying to hide the stray tear that fell causing my guilt to finally hit.

“Shit, come here baby”, I mumbled as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and kissed her lips softly, “Im sorry, Im just on edge baby”, I sighed as she un-tensed her body before giving me a small smile and walking away without saying a word.

Before I could follow her and apologize until she was happy again, my eye caught onto something that instantly sent my already boiling anger over the edge. Clenching my jaw I removed my eyes from the source of the anger and looked for a familiar face to watch over Isaiah while I handled it.  Jasmine was the first I spotted so I made my way over while whispering to Zay, “Daddy’s just gotta go do something and then will go play okay?”, I told him causing me to nod his head almost instantly.

“Yo Jas, can you look after him for a minute. Ill be back”, I told her as she held her hands out instantly and took Isaiah from my grasp. Looking back over my shoulder, I balled my fists and began walking over before stopping as I eyed out a bottle of whiskey that was sitting on one of the adults tables.

Though I haven’t had a sip of alcohol in the longest, my sudden urge to down the bottle hit me like a wave of bricks and only seemed to bubble the mania inside me.

Without hesitating I quickly grab it, while I looked around to make sure no one was watching before continuing the walk towards the side of my house where the human being I hated was hiding.

Opening the bottle as I walked, I downed the half full bottle in record time before placing the its now empty self on a table and rounding the corner where she stood with her arms crossed and a smirk that I so wanted to slap off.

“What the fuck are you doing here Adrianna?”, I spat out as I took a step closer to her while feeling the rush of whiskey brew through my body as I fought with my mania side to stay put.

“Matter fact how the fuck you know where I live bitch?”, I gritted out while she just stood there with a smug look on her face as she eyed me up and down, “What I can’t come see my man and the little boy who should have been my son?”, She chuckled causing me to look at her with disgust.

“Your fucking joking right? Please tell me yo ass aint that delusional”, I laughed while shaking my head, not trying to believe this girl really just said some shit like that.

My laughter soon ceased, as my chest began heaving up and down, “Kill her King. Get rid of this no good hoe”, I heard in my head which instantly made my shake my head as I tried hard to fight my episode that was about to come out.

Kill her, kill her now. Take her life, its what you do best”, I again heard as I clenched my jaw tight while narrowing my eyes at this slut in front of me. Maybe I should? I mean its what I do right? I kill people, I make them fear me so they dont be bothering me like this one was. If I just killed her than I wouldnt have to deal with her ever again.

I watched as Adriannas expression change from a smug to straight fear in seconds which caused a smirk to immediately wash over mine, “Thats right, you miss it dont you. That fear you put in peoples eyes, kill her King. Show them that you are the devil they speak of”, It was the last thing I heard before I lost myself.


“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”, I chuckled as I stepped closer to this prey that was trembling in front of me. I could practically smell the fear coming off of her and it never smelt so sweet.

“K-k-king?”, She stuttered as my eyes roamed her body, not being the least bit impressed by what she had to offer, “You miss me baby?”, I smirked as she nodded her head carefully causing me to send a punch straight to her jaw.

“You think that should make me happy? Make me want you?”, I asked with a raised eyebrow as I lifted her slumped body back up and took a step closer causing her to be backed up against the brick wall, “Why are you shaking?”, I chuckled as I ran my finger up her arm while cocking my head to the side so I could inhale her scent, which smelt like the blood that was dripping from her lip.

“I-m-m just happy you’re talking to me, touching me”, She whispered as I licked my lips before smirking. I just punched this bitch hard as hell and she talking shit like this. Crazy as fuck. Before she could say anything else more I leant down until our faces were in line with each other, eyeing out her lips, I could tell the anticipate was building up in her as my lips got closer and closer to hers.

Closing her eyes and slightly opening her lips, I clenched my jaw tight before bringing up my hand around her neck and gripping it tight, causing her eyes to shoot open in fear.

Lifting her off the ground a little I held up so she was once again leveled to my face without me having to bend down, “Im going to kill you now and Im going to enjoy every last second of it”, I whispered on her lips before pulling her body back a bit and slamming it back into the wall.

Using my other hand I stifled her scream and groan, “Sh sh shhh, now, now dont be too loud sweetheart we wouldn’t want to scare the little children now would we?” I laughed as tears cascaded down her cheeks rapidly which only seemed to excite me more.

“Y-y-your crazy”, She managed to get out causing me to throw my head back and laugh while my grip got tighter around her neck causing her to start gasping while clawing at my hand.

“You think baby? Thats what has you coming back aint it? You like this craziness. Couldnt stay away could you, but now that same craziness is gonna get you killed”, I chuckled as I loosened my grip a little, wanting to prolong her death a little longer so I could continue to taunt her.

“Shes going to leave you, shes going to take him and run away again”, She gasped out the worse possible thing she could ever say. Any trace of amusement had now left and all I could see was pure black. I wanted blood and I wanted it to be this worthless hoes blood on my hands.

“You’re going to regret saying that”, I said as calmly as possible, before using my free hand to reach into my pocket and pull out my keys that has a pocket knife on the key chain.

Opening the knife, I watched as she began crying harder at the sight of the knife, “Do it you piece of shit”, She cried as I lifted it up to neck with nothing but a grin on my face at the thought of finally ending this hoe’s life.

Gasping at the feel of the cold knife on her neck, I let my thoughts of blood take over as I pressed down.


“TYSON DONT DO IT!”, I yelled out before slapping my hand over my mouth. I saw the whole thing, from him eyeing her out in the middle of the party, him downing half a bottle of whiskey as if it was water and him literally going from a human to something so dark and evil that it literally chilled me to the core.

Initially I thought I was about to catch him cheating, hence why I followed but instead I walked into something entirely different, something I would surely never forget no matter how hard I tried.

“Please Ty, dont do this”, I pleaded as I hesitantly took another step closer to his visibly tense body, “Back the fuck up Briana, dont make me kill you too”, His icy voice finally spoke up, frightening me even more.

The girl he had in his grasp was crying so hard I was surprised she hadnt fainted yet. The knife that he was holding on to her neck was pushing against it but not hard enough to break any skin, yet.

I knew about this girl, Nala had told be about her few encounters with her and although this bitch looked like she deserved a good ass whooping, I wasn’t about to let him kill her at his son’s birthday party, with dozens of people around.

“Tyson please, think about this. Think about your family, Lani and Isaiah they just on the other side of the yard”, I plead as I felt my own tears building up. I couldn’t go and get Lani or one of the boys to help because in that time he most likely would have killed her before we came back.

“Shut the fuck you dont speak about them to me. Thats my family”, He gritted out as he dropped the hand that was holding the knife so he could turn over and look at me. Still holding her around the neck with the other, Adrianna looked like she was about to pass out any minute and I needed to stop it.

“This isn’t you Ty, this isn’t you. Please I need you to fight this, for your family”, I plead once again as I took another step closer where I noticed his grip loosened a little from around her neck.

“You don’t want Zay to see you like this Tyson. You’re more than this, your more than a kill Ty, you’re a father now”, I told him with a little more confidence as I noticed I was getting through to him.

His breathing was still hard, jaw still clenching and his hand still gripped the knife tightly but the conflicting look in his eyes told me he was having  a interbattle as he tried to fight his manic episode.

“Zay is asking for you Ty, he wants to play with his daddy. Lets go find him”, I continued as I knew I was winning him over by the second.

Without another word, he let go of her her neck causing her body to slump to the ground where she continued to gasp and choke out, trying to get her breathing properly again.

“Give me the knife Ty”, I asked calmly as I held my shaky hand out. Tyson on the other hand eyed my hand out carefully before rolling his eyes and closing the knife before shoving it back it his pocket, “Dont push your luck B”, He muttered lowly causing a relieved chuckle to escape my lips as sarcastic Tyson was showing again, even though he was still black.

 ”I knew you wouldnt do it you stupid prick. No longer the big bad devil are you”, Adriana spat out as she chuckled bitterly which only pissed me off. Looking back over at Tyson who began clenching his jaw, I immediately stepped in front of him and bent down, sending a closed fist straight to her nose. 

Falling back as I knocked her out cold, blood gushed from her nose while I shook my hand from the pain that shot through it thanks to that hard punch. Turning back around, I grinned as Tyson stood there chuckling with an amused look on his face, “She talked too much”, I shrugged as I nodded my head towards the back yard 

“You gonna be okay?”, I asked as we began making our way back to the party but both visibly not in the mood anymore to be around a bunch of screaming children. Instead of speaking, Ty nodded his head before shoving his hands in his pockets and hiding most of his face behind his snapback and hoodie.

“Just try stay out of trouble, okay?”, I sighed as we rounded the corner and I began to make my way over to where I spotted a cheerful Ace, “Yo B”, I heard Ty mumble causing me to stop in my tracks and look over my shoulder.

“Dont tell Lani what happened okay?”, He muttered in a somber tone as I nodded my head and gave him a sympathetic look, “And thank you. for uh what you did back there. I appreciate it”, He muttered again before sighing and walking towards the back door of the house. 

Smiling with surprise at his words of thanks, I shook my head lightly before continuing my journey over to Ace. Sending Adrian a smile as I sat beside him I accepted the beer he offered me before resting my head on his shoulder while my mind travelled back to the events that had just occurred.

Seeing someone go from a normal state to such a state of rage was one of the most terrifying things I would ever think off. The mental state of Tyson completely changed within seconds, he quite literally became a whole other person. 

My respect for Nalani had multiplied by a thousand after having witnessed what she literally lived through every time the man she so desperately loved had a episode and  I had finally realised not only how strong she actually was but also how much she deeply and truly loved this man.

As for Tyson, I couldn’t help but understand him a little more and that just sent me to feel bad for him more than what I did before. It must be the hardest thing to fight against a mental disease that you had no control over, but the fact that he had some how manage to stop himself was amazing.

Not only that, but just like Lani , the love Tyson had for his family was so powerful that it could literally break through his mental disease and keep him even a little sane. 

“Hey, you good baby?”, Ace suddenly asked, pulling me out of my thoughts as I looked over and nodded my head while smiling. The overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation had hit me hard and all I wanted to do was stay wrapped up in my own man.

“Ace?”, I called out to him after he returned back to his conversation with the boys, “Wassup up babygirl?”, He muttered lowly as he kissed the top of my head before leaning his forehead against mine, “I love you Adrian”, I told him for the first time causing him to pull away slightly so he could look down at me with wide eyes.

Though we have been together for awhile now, Ace and I have never spoken them words to each other before. I mean we knew we loved each other but I think we were both just scared to express ourselves with such a big thing as it meant we were taking the next step in our relationship.

“What did you say?”, He whispered lowly still with surprise in his eyes, which seemed to make my heart beat to pick up as I might have misjudged his feelings for me, “I love you, but it doesn’t mean you have to say it if you do-”, I began rambling before being cut off as he crashed his lips onto mine.

“I love you too thickness”, He muttered on my lips as a tear rolled down my face that he wiped away for me, “About time yo ass tells me. Holding out on a nigga”, He chuckled causing me to pull away as I laughed.

“Why didnt you tell me how you felt earlier than !”, I chuckled as I lightly slapped his chest while helping him stand up so we could go inside, “Cause you took so long to say it,  I started to think you didnt love ya man”, He shrugged as he suddenly picked me up bridal style and jogged through the house until stopping in his tracks as we found Tyson, Lani, J , Jas and Brock all in the kitchen away from everyone.

“What’s going on?”, Ace asked as he sat me on my feet, while I kept my eyes on Tyson and Lani, worried that she some how found out, “Ty is black, dono if we should sedate him”, J mumbled lowly while shaking his head. Lani on the other hand looked like she was on the verge of tears and Ty was sitting on the stool, with his head down while everyone spoke about him as if he wasn’t even there.

Instantly feeling bad for him, I walked over and wrapped my arm around Nala, “I don’t think you should, I mean its not like his raging or going crazy. He seems pretty fine to me, why sedate him. Right Ty?”, I said before shrugging my shoulders as everyone turned to me and sent me raised eyebrows and weird looks.

Tyson on the other hand, slowly lifted his head up and pushed his hoodie back as he looked over at me, staring at me as if he was waiting for an ulterior motive which was not the case, “You tell us Ty, do you think you can handle it or would you prefer to be sedated? I think you should decide”, I said softly as I felt Lani intertwined her fingers with my own and give them a small squeeze in appreciation.

“I wanna spend the rest of the afternoon on the jumping castle with my son”, He muttered lowly which seemed to send the women all emotional as Lani began to cry, Jas shed tears and my eyes watered at how helpless he sounded.

If the moment couldn’t have gotten any more emotional, the fact that Isaiah ran inside screaming ‘Daddy’, while laughing made my tears to fall, “You come play now daddy?”, Zay asked as he jumped into Tysons arms and wrapped his legs around his waist.

“I dont know, we gotta ask mommy”, Ty mumbled causing Zay to look over at his mother who had wiped her cheeks from them tears, “Mommy can daddy and me play?”, He asked sweetly, sending Jas and I to start ‘awwing’ at how cute he was.

“Yes sweetheart, you guys go play”, She grinned softly as she walked over and hugged them both while telling them both how much she loved them before pulling away and walking out the back with them, followed by Jas, J and Brock.

“So is the mood ruined or are we still gonna go get it in?”, Ace asked while wiggling his eyebrows as he licked his lips and began making his way over to me, “Always so romantic, how did I ever get so lucky?”, I dramatically sighed in a breathless tone causing Ace to chuckled as once again picked me up bridal style and began jogging up the stairs.

“Say it again”, He mumbled as he started kissing along my neck as I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling, “I love you”, I whispered, feeling his smile against my skin.

Heading straight to the spare room that Ace and I had claimed when Tyson and Nalani first moved in, Ace didnt wait a second before throwing me on the bed and racing to strip out of his clothes.

“Why you watching me, come on girl start stripping”, He exclaimed as I just fell back on the bed and laughed at how serious he was, “Oh we gonna be seeing who is laughing in a minute”, He muttered as he stood there naked and full erect.

Taking a gulp, I stared at him wide eyed as it hit me that he was being dead serious. Happy that I had no school or work tomorrow, I laid back and waited for my man to work my body all night. 

What made it even better, was knowing that he loved me.