shake a stick

Some quick thoughts about how the Grand Relics reflect everyone on the crew’s personality. A lot of these points have been touched on before, but I wanted to wrap everything up nice. 

  • Davenport gets the Oculus, which is focused on Vision. If you can imagine it, you can make it real. Pretty great for a leader, and definitely good for the pragmatic captain we’ve gotten to know. You need to know exactly what you want, and if you can’t visualize it and understand it and execute it right, it will go horribly wrong. It’s the most laser precise of the relics, because you really need to have control of your own mind to use it. Of course Davenport loses his mind, loses his iron control of the situation, and the Oculus summons black holes.  It’s leadership gone wrong and self control without the control. 
  • Lup gets the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet, which is super dangerous short term but also fairly limited. It lights things of fire, and that’s it. It’s the least finessed of the Relics, and because of that it’s the most dangerous. It’s destroyed eight towns. It’s all power, none of the wherewithal and heart we see Lup demonstrate. She’s an evocation specialist, she’s the powerhouse of the group and because of that she has to know when to stop. The Gauntlet never stops, and hurts lots of people in the short term, but once it’s fired out it’s not quite as insidious as some of the other relics. It’s straightforward, and like Lup that’s both a strength and weakness. 
  • If Lup is the flamethrower that can mess you up in the short term, Taako is more subtle but overall more destructive. The Philosopher’s Stone is willing to play nice, be used, and generally not act up, right up until it throws you a curve ball and nearly crystallizes the entire world. Taako is the master of the random, game changing play, and Stone mirrors that ability to mess up everything and amplifies it ten fold. It’s not the charmer, it’s sales pitch is the most blatant thing ever and it sounds like your weird uncle, but it will bide its time until it decides the time is right to just upend everything. 
  • Nice, quiet Barry got the Animus Bell, which is nice and quiet and diligent and straight up murders people. It doesn’t make waves or look for trouble, the people who have owned it have kept it quiet and used it sensibly and thoroughly to awful, awful ends. Even Lucretia didn’t know what it did, which suggests that it’s the shyest of the relics. Barry is solid sort of guy. He does his best, death after death, body after body. He’s also a lich who invades people’s minds to get information. The Animus Bell is equally willing to drudge forward nicely and quietly, getting into dark magic and possessing people’s bodies. 
  • Merle, of course, is their godly man. He likes nature and Pan and has more insecurities than you could shake a stick at. The Gaia Sash takes that need for faith in a higher power and desire for control and blows it up. Sloane was calling herself a god by the end of her time with it, but she was also desperate for anything to ease her mind, something to put her faith in. It’s the nature relic, technically, but you could just as easily call it the God Relic. It’s all about power and how you use it and what you need to stay sane, namely the belief in something more powerful than you. 
  • It’s been discussed before how it’s weird that Magnus got time magic while Lucretia presumably got wards and protection, but it does make sense in a certain way. The best way to protect something is to make sure the bad thing never happened. I’m more interested in how the Chalice presents itself, namely that it really believes it’s a good person (relic) even while it does awful, awful things. Magnus is also someone who tries to be good, but often, thoughtlessly acts cruel. The Temporal Chalice plays the sweet tempered host, then in a fit of spite makes them watch all of Phandolin get destroyed and got Isaak to murder his best friend. Magnus will play the moral highground, and also bully people without meaning to. But while Magnus really tries to be good, the Chalice is all surface gentility with nothing underneath. It’s Rustic Hospitality, without the actual underlying Rustic Morality. 
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Robin Hood Men in Tights (directed by Mel Brooks) is one of the best Robin Hood tales ever.

It has:

1: This song.

2: Cary Elwes plays Robin Hood as if he were playing Westley playing Robin Hood, in an over-the-top snarky fashion. His pride and self-assurance are impressive, almost as much as the fact that “unlike other Robin Hoods, I can speak in an English accent.”

3: Dave Chappelle as Ahchoo, son of Ahsneeze (a prisoner who helped Robin escape jail in the Holy Land) who went to England to study, and Robin promised to keep an eye out for. The only person in the film snarkier than Robin, who never takes off his Air Jordans and does a flawless Malcom X parody to convince the peaceful villagers to join the Merry Men.

4: Instead of Friar Tuck, we have Rabbi Tuckman, purveyor of sacramental wine. And circumcisions. Played by Mel Brooks, and clearly having way too much fun with it.

5: More anachronisms than you can shake a stick at. Ahchoo’s Air Jordans and baseball cap styled hat are only the tip of the iceburg, it gets so much better.

6: Prince John is so done with everything. He clearly doesn’t want to be here (in a good way).

7: The jail-keeper in the Holy Land is a parody of a hotel maître d and is just so happy to be doing what he’s doing. I love him so much. 

8: Parodying how ridiculous “the chop” is as a sportsfan thing by having a whole bleacher full of people in medieval garb do it to cheer Robin on for no explained reason other than someone thought of it. 

9: An extended “Godfather” parody

10: Ahchoo: “Let’s get out of this ladies’ clothing and get into our tights!”

Alpha

Pairings: Alpha! Bucky Barnes x Omega! Reader

Warnings: A/B/O themes, smut, mild rough sex, unprotected sex, fingering, knotting sex, swearing

Word Count: 1820

Summary: You go into heat earlier than you had anticipated

A/N: This is my very first time writing anything from the A/B/O verse so please be gentle with me. Feedback is greatly appreciated.


Your heat was early. You knew it as soon as you opened your eyes, your body already covered in a thin sheen of sweat and the inside of your thighs slick with arousal. You barely had a chance to adjust to the soft morning light filtering in through the blinds before you were curling yourself in a fetal position, the first cramp rolling painfully through your abdomen. It hurt like a bitch and you whined in protest, securing your arms around your midsection as though that would help quell the pain.

It felt as though every nerve ending in your body was on fire, you skin prickling with the warmth. It had always felt like this but you had never gotten used to it, usually taking suppressants so you wouldn’t have to feel the full force of your heats. You hadn’t been expecting it for another two weeks though and as a result hadn’t packed them when you left the compound. You were on a stakeout for only a max of three days and you hadn’t thought of packing them just in case. Oh how you were regretting that decision. Especially with an unmated Alpha so close to you, the very same one you’d been pining after for the last couple of months.

You kick the blankets away from your body as you start to pant, suddenly feeling very constricted under the layered cotton, the fabric sticking to your body uncomfortably. You fist the bed sheets underneath you tightly, pushing your head back into the pillow as you fought to regain control over yourself. It was getting increasingly more difficult as another cramp spread through your body and you knew there was only one thing that was going to help at this point. 

Swallowing around the dryness of your throat you slip off the edge of the bed, the cool touch of the floor welcome as you pad across to the door, opting to not put on any more clothes than the shorts and singlet you’d worn to bed. Minimal clothing was always better when your whole body felt like it was attached to a live wire.

Softly making your way downstairs you paused on the last step, Bucky’s scent slamming into you like a freight train, your eyes dropping closed as you breathed it in greedily. He smelt like old spice soap, fresh coffee and the smoke from the fireplace in the corner and mixed together it was intoxicating, your cunt throbbing with want. His back was towards you as you edged into the room but you saw his shoulders tense before you had the chance to say anything, Bucky moving quickly to his feet as he looked at you. You didn’t need to say anything to him, you knew that your scent was enough for him to understand.

You could already see him beginning to harden in his jeans and you licked your tongue over your bottom lip, dragging your eyes over him as you stepped closer. Bucky’s eyes were wide and almost unsure as he maneuvered himself to the other side of the table, keeping the obstacle between you. At this close proximity you could almost taste him on the back of your tongue, your whole body humming with anticipation as the dampness between your legs grew.

“Need you,” You simpered. “Need you… Alpha.”

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A Thesaurus of Bellies

A reference for writers. If this enables one more sentence of chubby fic, my job is done.

Suggestions very welcome.

Updated here on a dedicated page with way more words (and organization)

CHUBBY

 ample  apple/pear  beefy  big  big boned  big frame  bigger  blimpy  blubbery  bulky  carrying extra pounds  chubby  chunky  corpulent  cuddly  dimpled  doughy  fattie  filled out  flabby  fleshy  floppy  fluffy  heavily built  heavy  heavyset  hippo  husky  large  meaty  obese  on the bigger side  out of shape  overweight  paunchy  plump  porker  porky  portly  pudgy  puffy  roly-poly  rubenesque  stocky  stout  thick  tubby  tubs  unfit  voluptuous well-nourished

BIG

 abundant   bloated         blob of    chunky  chubby  doughnut  flesh  full  heft   lush          mass  massive  mountainous       padded    plump     plush      rotund  round, rounded, rounded out  softened   swollen, swelled up  thick  wide 

BELLIES

 abdomen  beach ball  beer belly  blubber  girth  gut  middle  midsection    padding       paunch  pillow  pot belly  spare tire  stomach  tum  tummy  waist  waistline

BELLY PARTS

biggest/fattest/fullest/roundest part  love handles       mound    muffin top  overhang  rolls, fat rolls, side rolls  shelf   stretch marks   swells of fat    underbelly

WHAT BELLIES DO

 balloon out  bounce    bow out    bulge out  bump  droop  fill out  folds hang  jiggle  overflow  poke out  pooch out  protrude  push  quiver  settle  shake  shelf  sink       soften   stick out  suck in  swell out  tremble  wiggle  wobble

TOUCHES

 brush  drift over  explore  ghosting fingertips over  glide over  grab  hands sink in  knead  massage  pat  pinch  poke  push into  rest hand on  rub  rub circles /draw circles  squeeze  squish

FEELS

 comfy  cuddly  cushiony   dimpled   doughy  firm  lumpy  mushy  pliable  smooth  soft  squishy  warm  yielding

CLOTHES

 barely fasten  cling to  gape  outgrow  pop off  pull at  ride up   round out shirt  strain  stretch  struggle  tight  too small  wrinkle

2

The Baddest Thing

The perfect girl-next-door reputation has preceded Betty Cooper all her life, just as the rough and angry Southside Serpent reputation has preceded Jughead Jones. Could a simple dare in a small town diner challenge everything? 

Pairing: Betty Cooper x Jughead Jones 

A/U:  Jughead Jones has been an established Southside Serpent since his sophomore year of high school. He was never friends with Archie, Betty, Kevin, Veronica or Cheryl. Betty has been an established cheerleader since their sophomore year and her best friend Veronica has been dating Cheryl since then.

“Oh, really? And what’s the baddest thing you’ve ever done, Betty?” 

Betty’s face flushes as she glances warily at her best friend, Veronica, whose arm is slung lazily around the shoulders of her girlfriend, Cheryl. It’s a Saturday night and they had all been craving milkshakes and burgers post their late night movie binge. Betty had just been defending the fact that she was not as perfect as her reputation made her out to be. She, in fact, had a dark side. Cheryl, despite Veronica nodding supportively, obviously didn’t believe her. 

“I’ll tell you what’s the baddest thing I’d like to do,” Kevin giggled from his seat in the booth next to Betty, turning his gaze to the Southside Serpent that had just walked through the door.

A hush had fallen over the restaurant as the door thumped shut, a silent mixture of respect and fear filling the air. Betty fought the urge to whip her head around, instead choosing to casually glance at him over her shoulder.  

 Jughead Jones.

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Sometimes I think about how strange and unpleasant it is that Tetra gets left behind in Hyrule Castle. Daphnes tells her that she’s the last descendant of the royal family, and then, having dropped this bomb, he orders her to remain right where she is. He takes Link back to the surface of the Great Sea, and Tetra is expected to stay there by herself, a brave but small girl in a creepy castle deep under the ocean.

Time may have stopped in Hyrule, but Tetra is still alive. There’s nothing for her to eat, there’s nothing for her to drink, there’s nowhere for her to rest, and I don’t even want to think about things like soap and toilet paper. This girl has spent her entire life going on adventures and searching for treasure and bossing around a group of pirates, but now she has nothing to do except sit and wait.

When Ganondorf shows up to kidnap her, Tetra is probably like, OKAY DUDE LET’S GO.

Chapter 1

So, I was saving this as motivation to get Writer’s Block finished and posted, but I’m reworking it and it’s going to take longer than I thought, but this is ready so I’m going ahead with it because I haven’t posted in a while. Hope you like it! Mistakes are mine. Pbg


“Are we really doing this?” Katniss asks Peeta as they finish the last of their beers. Peeta sets his empty glass down and she watches him twist it back and forth between his fingers. He shrugs.

“I mean, we’re both swamped with work, no time for dating much less a relationship. It’ll be a great way to unwind. Are… you okay with it?” he asks hesitantly, lobbing the ball back in her court. One perfect blonde eyebrow quirks up as he waits for her answer.  

She nods slightly, still disbelieving the idea they’ve come up with and that she even agreed to it. It’s so not her style, but if she’s going to be anyone’s fuck buddy, Peeta would be her choice. He’s been a great friend to her over the last year, and he’s the type of guy who wouldn’t hurt his worst enemy. Throw in the hard body Katniss can tell is hiding under his crisp button downs and diagonally striped ties, and his selfless nature, there’s no way she can lose. He, on the other hand, should be wary of her ‘run away when things get messy’ nature, so with his emotional safety in mind, she says, “I think we need some ground rules first, though.”

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I’ll Stay Pt.1

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi doesn’t like kids, he never will, or so he says. Except this one kid that reminds him a lot of himself, and he looks like him too. 

Genre: Romance / Slight angst

A/N: I got this idea from a request for “angsty Yoongi scenario with a happy ending”. The requester wasn’t specific on what they wanted so hopefully you’ll like this. It was supposed to be a one-shot but got too long rip. But enjoy!

gif cr.

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Whisper in my ear!!

Turn me on.
Bite your lips.
Grab my side.
Pull my hair.
Moan in my ear.
Claw my back.
Give me hickies.
Draw on my body.
Lay naked next to me.
Love me.
I will hold me if you hold me.
Massage me. I will do the same.

I love my sweet baby honey.

Korean Drama Recommendations/Fangirling:

So! A friend of mine on FB asked me late last night for Korean drama recommendations. She’s never watched kdramas before, so without intending to I just vomited up brief feels, synopses, and titles for her from which to choose. These titles were only the ones that immediately came to mind off the top of my head. Seeing as how I assume some of you adorable follower-humans might enjoy kdramas too, I thought I’d share. Most likely you diehards (pun not intended) out there have already seen these, but here’s some dramas to throw in your face anyway! Since it’s my thing, I’m going to go by genre; so all will have romance as either a main plot line or as a subplot. Brace yourself for the d'awws!

1. 

If you’re in the mood for a serious, beautiful, powerhouse of a drama with adult themes (ie adultery but not really…long story), dreams and money, sacrificing your true self for security to forsake happiness, and of COURSE sex and pianos, then you need to watch Secret Love Affair. It is hot and intense and has an open ended interpretation for a finale that will leave you stunned and happy.

I mean, damn, guys…come on just LOOK at this sexiness!

Plus it’s just a damn good drama all around. So watch it.

2.

If you’re looking for something that walks the line between comedy and paranormal, you NEED to see The Master’s Sun. Its heroine is an hilariously adorable girl who can see ghosts, and the hero is a skeptic who, when the female lead touches, makes poltergeists disappear. It’s probably one of the best dramas that incorporates creepy horror with perfect comedy!

3.

If you’re looking for something a bit different, you HAVE to watch Arang and the Magistrate. Same concept as The Master’s Sun, except the female lead is dead and a ghost, the setting is ancient Korea, and there’s gods, goddesses, action, magic, and evil political dudes. Plus the male lead is hilariously apathetic, and the female lead is a badass who kicks ass as a dead girl! It’s funny and dark and heartfelt and will leave you with all of the heart eyes! Plus it has the cutest ending that ever cuted itself.

4.

If you’re looking for something strictly comedy and a bit silly, with moments of seriousness and more cute than you could shake a stick at, you need King of High School. Take an 18 year old high school guy and make him pose as his older brother as a prestigious CEO in a company that a dowdy, 30 year old over-looked heroine works at and you talk about some of the CUTEST comedy you’ve ever witnessed in your freakin’ life!

5. 

If you’re looking for something hella melodramatic and intense, go with Secret Love. Heroine is engaged to a guy who gets involved in a hit-and-run that kills a girl, and the heroine takes the fall for her fiance. Turns out the victim was the pregnant girlfriend of the male lead. The drama explores the idea of falling in love with someone, even as you hate them. Suffice to say, IT IS INTENSE, and a bit nuts of a drama, but it will leaving you feeling all of your emotions and then some.

6.

If you want some time travel in your drama diet, go with Queen In Hyun’s Man. Hero is an ancient Korean scholar who finds himself traveling to the future, where he meets the female lead, an aspiring actress who lands the role of the Queen from our hero’s time period. Comedy, cuteness, angst, and adorableness ensues. And smexy kisses. OH MY GOD THE SMEXY KISSES!

7. 

Keeping in the same vain as the historical theme, Sungkyunkwan Scandal is adorable and perfect! Set in ancient Korea, in order to protect her family our female lead disguises herself as a boy to get into a university of sorts that only permits men. Cue “male lead finds himself attracted to a boy despite him not being gay” theme and much hilarious ensues. Ignoring the gay panic is a must, but if you can it’s so entertaining and will leave you so damn amused!

8.

And, last but not least, keeping with the gay-panic theme, Coffee Prince. Coffee Prince is probably one of the best kdramas ever, and it’s basically the same premise as Sungkyunkwan Scandal; female lead lands a job in an all-male working environment to support her family. The only real difference is that in Coffee Prince, our heroine opens and closes the drama as a very tom boyish, masculine girl. She’s never subscribed to gender roles, so it makes her character far more interesting. There’s angst and cute and smexy kisses and great characters and everything you could ever want in a drama!

Better as Three Part 3 (M)

**GIF NOT MINE

Mini-series.­

Part 1  Part 2  Part 4  Part 5

Characters:  Mark Tuan (GOT7) x You (OC/Reader) x Im Jaebum (JB, GOT7)

Genre:  Smut, Fluff, Slight Angst, AU

Length:     4,887 words

Plot:  After Jaebum comes back from a sudden out of the country business trip, the two of you finally reconcile and his desire to make it up to you reached a whole new level.

Warning/s:  Poly!Markbum, Polyamorous relationship, Slight car sex, Blowjob, Deep throating, Mild spanking, Slightly dom!JB, Slight begging, etc.

A/N:  Third part; another het smut with the reader’s other boyfriend hahaha how lucky is this girl lmao.  And again this is very detailed and graphic so please read at your own risk!  I tried making this to full-on dom!jb… but I failed hahaha!  I hope you enjoy!!!


6PM.

You will finally be out of work and you are more than excited to go home tonight.

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why do people think that girls don’t know fish for some reason

people keep asking me for “the person who does fish” and I’m like that’s me and they’re like uh huh sure sweetie that’s cute

and then I help them solve their problems and they’re like oh

it’s especially bad when it comes to saltwater, there’s a place near where I live that does corals and stuff and my boss knows him, anyway I walk into his shop and in the trays there is this really cool looking mushroom and I wasn’t sure of the species

me: so what is this one right here?

him: oh! that’s called a /mushroom
coral/ so it doesn’t need very much light. it’s called that because it looks like a /mushroom/. and it’s a /soft coral/ so it has no skeleton.

me: ………I know that but what genus is it ??

him: oh you have a tank? saltwater?

me: yes it’s a 5g nano reef with three colonies of acans, more zoas you can shake a stick at, and a small hoard of ricordea, I have a larger tank to upgrade to so I can branch into more LPS

him: oh

me: ……………….

him: let me know if I can help you with anything

why is the aquarium hobby such a boy’s club??? I don’t understand

No matter who i talk to or what I read, one certain aspect of Astrology I will always forever disagree with.  After living with someone of this position I simply cannot deny; the Moon in Aquarius displays way more of a debilitation then a Scorpio Moon.  A lot of the reasoning behind Scorpio Moon Debilitation is strange…”cancer dislikes extremes, likes comfort, familiarity”  well so does Scorpio…it just happens to be ruled by Mars and is a bit aggressive about protecting it’s interests.  When it feels threatened it is a moon that stays private and feels fear to the endless reaches…but that’s the thing…AT LEAST it FEELS! 

Aquarius Moon is so turned off by emotions….Having a parent with it and knowing other friends with this Moon I can say from experience that talking to an Aquarius Moon has it’s perks and enjoyment.  Certainly they will be to date on politics and all the world issues you could shake a stick at….But ask them how they feel about their own life, or things in general….Then you get why I think the Moon is debilitated in Aquarius.  What’s worse then a Moon that disregards feelings?  I have seen to many a “god” complex in this Moon thinking they are above petty emotions…Not all Aqua Moons but certainly the few I have known lacking help by aspects…Its not to believe it’s the hardest and weakest position of Moon.