shailah

anonymous asked:

I'm a convert and given the recent conversations about how converts are treated & some of the recent examples on here... if I am talking to another Jew and they ask about the time before I converted, is it ok to say "I wasn't observant then"? (More)

I don’t want to be dishonest but I also don’t want to deal w random people like a receptionist I see 3x/yr noticing my necklace & asking me why she hadn’t seen it before or whatever & needing to navigate the convert maze w someone I don’t know well.

I don’t see it as dishonest. You’re not required to publicize your status (as a ger/giyoret) outside of very specific circumstances, and evading the question or responding in a broad manner — e.g. “I didn’t grow up religious,” “I wasn’t religious then,” I wasn’t observant then" — is not lying. It’s a delicate subject that is up to you when and to whom you’ll open up about, and it’s understandable if you don’t want to talk about it with people you don’t really know.

I remember years ago I read the a story of a woman who was matched with a ger by a shadchan and was about to get married, but he wouldn’t tell others that he was a ger (he didn’t lie, he just never said that he was, he’d evade the question and so on). So she asked her Rabbi a shailah, because she was concerned that he was perhaps being dishonest. I don’t remember the full answer that was given to the woman, but I remember that the decision/explanation was that it wasn’t dishonest. They got married afterwards.

Because of that, I feel more than safe to stay on the side that doesn’t believe it’d be dishonest.

anonymous asked:

Cover up your hair, this is not hijab!

ur right its not a hijab and i never said it was! its a shailah and its cultural not religious xx