shag david

“Just-Been-Shagged Hair” - Digital Oil Painting

A painting of probably my favorite image of David in Don Juan in Soho. That is some quality just-been-shagged hair right there. I used some really tiny brushes to get the texture just right.

If you enjoy my art, please consider subscribing to my Patreon! I am saving to buy a wheelchair lift.

“Mornings With You” - Digital Oil Painting

Tentoo has other ideas about how to spend their morning.

This is NOT a Photoshop filter, every stroke is painted by me.

He gave a rumbly little growl as he came up behind her, hands finding her waist, he dipped his head to nuzzle her neck and shoulder. “Come back to bed,” he all but purred.

Rose grinned, carefully adjusting her hold on the mug she was holding so he wouldn’t make her drop it. “Doctor, I’m trying to look at the weather report,” she said, her eyes on the tablet in front of her. “And I made coffee.”

He growled again, this one more aggressive, as he fitted himself more firmly against her, trapping her between him and the counter. Her breath caught as he rutted his morning erection along the cleft of her arse. His hands slid down, his fingers finding the hem of the long t-shirt she’d worn to bed last night, beginning to pull it upward, inch by inch.

“Sod the coffee,” he said, his voice low and raspy from sleep. “You want to know the weather? We’ll do it facing the window.”

XF Revival Drama

…and why I’m not panicking yet.

I will include my fandom CV at the bottom of this post for anyone who cares, but it’s not really important outside of the fact that I feel like long-time fans have the unique experience of having lived this before. When you binge-watch on Netflix (and if you’re a newer fan who has done just that - may the tv gods bless you and keep you and I’m sorry you fell into this trap. ;) ) you only had to wait for as long as it took for the next episode to load. You are literally assured of the ending you are watching because the entire series is already set in stone. You haven’t experienced a hiatus, or spoilers, or the feeling of having your entire fandom commitment invalidated because Chris Carter is a big twat waffle.

Just like the show itself, everything old is new again, including the heart-wrenching spoilers that convince you there’s no way this can end well and how stupid does he think we are and goddamn it, doesn’t he know what we know about these fucking characters? We’re once again in the grips of hysteria because things appear to be going sideways and the ultimate fate of our Favorite FBI Babies is up in the air. But here’s something else to take into account - every single time they’ve chosen to do something stupid (TFWID, I’m looking at you. Diana Fowley, yeah I mean you too bitch) - it has all worked out in the end. 

I’ve read a lot of “if they’re not in love, what is the point”? Not a single spoiler has said Mulder and Scully don’t love each other.

People - especially Mulder and Scully - can be in love and not be together.

Read that again. Mulder and Scully can be in love and not be together. That they love each other is not even open to debate. Eventually, even the anti-Christ himself said it. He knows. He just doesn’t know how to leave well enough alone.

In IWTB, Scully laid down the gauntlet. What’s left of her life - the last remaining pieces that were not stolen from her - are not going to be spent swirling into the darkness that claimed so much in the past. Being “with” Mulder isn’t enough to save her because she knows that in the darkest parts of their history being with Mulder meant being together alone. It meant being at odds with Mulder. It meant looking at him across a chasm of belief and sometimes watching his back as he left her behind.

Scully can love him with all of her heart - she can be his soulmate - and still attempt to save herself.

If Mulder is in the dark place he’s purported to be, there is also a big chance that he went into that place and left Scully alone. Mentally. The ultimate ditch. It is no big surprise that Mulder can become so absorbed in his quest that there’s no air left in the room. It doesn’t mean he isn’t in love with Scully, but it might mean that there was no way for her to survive with him. Can you imagine her terror at watching him dissolve in front of her? To watch that obsession rear its head? To have to say again - Mulder, it has taken so much, why are we still fighting this? To have Mulder look her in the face and say, in that self-absorbed way he can that makes me want to scratch out his dumb eyes, Scully you don’t understand.

Fuck that, I’d leave him too. Not because I don’t love him, but because my continued investment in any relationship means I have to love myself as well.

Scully must save herself to be any use to Mulder. Scully must think of her mother. Her brothers. William. She cannot exist as Mulder’s personal satellite moon - it will literally kill her.

So in my opinion…yeah Scully left. She went to have a real life, or a shadow of one. She’s a woman who is operating with her heart outside her chest, waiting for him to catch up with her. Do I think she’s happy? Nope. Do I think it’s surprising that she’d date a guy? Nope. They probably went to the Cirque De Soleil and she was bored out of her skull. Are we surprised that this dude wants back into her good graces (and probably pants)? Fuck no, it’s Scully, of course he does.

Do you know when she will re-awaken? When Mulder does. When he pulls his head out of his ass and returns to the man she doesn’t only love, but needs. And there will be a moment when they look at her and Scully’s lips tremble into a smile that says “I love you so much it is destroying me but thank God you’re HOME AGAIN.” And Mulder puts his hand on the small of her back and…


So is this fan-splaining? Probably. But we have 9 years and two movies of anecdotal evidence to back it up. Carter tries, God love him, but David and Gillian run these characters. Every look will speak volumes, every touch will have a million meanings.

We will eat that up with a spoon because it will still be the most compelling love story of our generation(s).

In the fandom since 1996, freshly graduated from high school. Earned my BA almost entirely based on essays written about The X-Files.

Patches earned:

  • Survived the Season 4-5 hiatus after Gethsemane and was rewarded with the Reduxes.
  • Survived Diana Fowley.
  • Ran a Fanfiction Archive
  • OBSSE Member
  • I read, survived and loved Iolokus
  • WWSD
  • Quit the XF after Roadrunner because are you even fucking kidding me?
  • Came back to see William born.
  • Came back to the see The Truth.
  • Watched IWTB 4 times in the theater and I’m not even fucking kidding.
  • MSR is canon, suck it noromos

…and many more. Suffice it to say I’ve been here. I’ve done this. And while my stomach seized when I read the spoilers and I said out loud to my empty room “Are you even fucking serious at me right now?”, I’m still ok because Mulder loves Scully. Scully loves Mulder. And that is the only thing that matters.